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You goons make way better arguments than she does. Hers still don't make any sense to me: if being beautiful is important and she's convinced contacts make her more beautiful why has she never even considered them until we got engaged? And if it's not important enough to make the move to contacts before now, why is it suddenly top priority come wedding time? I guess I'm just taking it more personally than I really should, because it's not about me. My initial reaction was "Oh so glasses make you look uglier  wait a minute..." & I felt like I was doing a lovely job as fiance if she feels like she has to revamp her image, like she's not pretty enough to be getting married as it is (which I know is true, she was in a verbally abusive relationship a while back & still refuses to go out without makeup except in the most dire of circumstances because of the way he treated her). Still feel that way, honestly.
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Mar 9, 2012 15:28
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Toriori posted:^^^ooo, what are those sites for? Just like general "here's what going on with our wedding so far" updates? I'm curious now. As much or little as you want. The Knot has free versions, so we went with that and used a custom domain name that I bought. On our site we have info about ourselves, our proposal story, travel and hotel info, stuff like that. We also have a guestbook but other people have video and picture slide shows. The proposal story has given us a lot of compliments. We had gone on vacation to Chicago, where I'm from, and spent the trip going to museums, meeting some of my friends from the area, a friend hooked me up with room at the J.W. Mariott. The hotel know I was going to propose and, without giving anything away, staff went out of their way to be amazingly nice to us. On the last night we went for dinner at The Signature Room at the 95th floor of the Hancock Building. A guy proposed to his girlfriend at a table near us, which made her think it wasn't coming because the restaurant wouldn't have had two proposals at the same time. After dinner we were going to take a carriage ride back to the hotel, but instead it took us through Grant Park to Buckingham Fountain, parking in front of the fountain. The driver had us get out so the horse could rest. I told her there was a good spot to watch the fountain, which was right near a couple guys singing and playing guitar. One of the guys was my friend, but she'd never met him before so it didn't ruin the surprise. We walked over and they started playing our song, which by an indie label singer/songwriter and wouldn't have played by accident. I then got on one knee and proposed to her. We then took the carriage ride back to the hotel. My retelling isn't great, but she can write and did an awesome job with it. Point is, for anyone thinking of how to propose, don't let planning get in the way. It isn't as hard as it seems, although that isn't to say there's something wrong with low-key. I figured this would be the most romantic thing I would ever do in my life so I would go big. Edit: Edited this because I saw your response after I posted. But have her try wearing contacts for a while, it could cause her eyes to become red and irritated. She can also just not wear glasses and be guided down the aisle. oldskool posted:You goons make way better arguments than she does. Because contacts aren't always comfortable and she may not want to wear them on a daily basis. People step it up for special occasions. It doesn't sound like she said she things she's ugly, she doesn't want to wear glasses. You're taking this way to personally, to the point where if you're about to argue about this you may want to look at your maturity. This shouldn't be a big deal. There's a difference between being supportive or a bit smothering. I'm not saying you're trying to be a jerk, but it sounds like you need to take a step back, chill out, and consider if you're taking very minor thing she wants and making it about you. WeaselWeaz fucked around with this message at 15:44 on Mar 9, 2012 |
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Mar 9, 2012 15:34
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oldskool posted:contacts I feel the same way about my husband wearing his glasses, but we both went for contacts on the wedding day. Especially for women, makeup can smear on the glasses, but glare from the flash can be an issue for anyone. edit: ^^ trying out the contacts beforehand is definitely important! Oldskool, for whatever reason, wearing glasses is seen as more casual than not. There's nothing wrong with them, but you don't really see people rushing to get frames just for formal events. It's like putting on your heels and your glitzy jewelry. Ben Davis fucked around with this message at 15:41 on Mar 9, 2012 |
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Mar 9, 2012 15:37
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The girlfriend and I are looking at doing the wedding thing. We've talked about it a lot, but there are still some details we're looking to hammer out. We both love to travel and have gone on numerous overseas vacations together. (...snip...) You know I had a bunch of details typed out, but they're not really important to the main question. In short, we're going hiking in Scotland this summer and plan to surprise our friends and family by coming back married. We're doing it in Fort Williams after hiking the Great Glen Way (Inverness -> Fort Williams). What we'd like to do is climb Ben Nevis and do a quick vows/reading/whatever and sign the papers at the summit. I'm not sure if that's possible since we'd need a witness or officiant of some sort. What will probably happen will be climbing Ben Nevis and doing our own little thing at the summit, but actually signing the papers at the Fort Williams registrar's office. So the main questions, do we need to be contacting people in Fort Williams right now to make sure they'll have papers for us when we arrive? On that note, we live in the states. Will getting married overseas present any problems for us at home? If so, what should we do to combat that? Finally, is there anything we might not have thought of that we should probably address?
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Mar 9, 2012 15:56
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Crumps Brother posted:So the main questions, do we need to be contacting people in Fort Williams right now to make sure they'll have papers for us when we arrive? There's no reason not to. You don't want to wait until the week before and then be told there's a long waiting period or something. Plus, they're going to be more qualified to give you official answers. Here's the first Google result, it looks like it's probably not as simple as you think. http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/p/scotland.htm
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Mar 9, 2012 17:40
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oldskool posted:You goons make way better arguments than she does. I think you're over-thinking it. She may just have a really specific idea in mind for what she wants to look like in a wedding dress and glasses just might not be part of that image. I recently got contacts, not because I think I'm nerdy and ugly now, but because: -I like variety -Elaborate makeup is definitely way more visible without them and my mascara gets on the lenses amongst other things. Plenty of people lose weight just for their wedding and whatnot, were they too fat and hideous before? It's a special occasion with emphasis on appearance and people just have their preferences. As for a compromise, could you take photos both with and without glasses on the day of so you have pictures of her both ways?
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Mar 9, 2012 17:47
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Contact talk: You're not going to win that one, even if you really feel like they're unnecessary. Let it go.  Instead, push to make sure she gets her contacts and tries them out in advance for a few days, preferably a good bit of time before your wedding.Last thing she wants (or you, for that matter) is to find out on the day of her wedding that she really can't handle the way they feel or that she can't see with them properly, has a sensitivity to the material, etc. There are plenty of things which, while rare, can happen with contacts. You don't want to find out that one of them affects you fifteen minutes before the wedding.
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Mar 9, 2012 19:32
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Crumps Brother posted:So the main questions, do we need to be contacting people in Fort Williams right now to make sure they'll have papers for us when we arrive? On that note, we live in the states. Will getting married overseas present any problems for us at home? If so, what should we do to combat that? Finally, is there anything we might not have thought of that we should probably address? Firstly, you need to give notice, (in person, as far as I am aware) in the district you are going to get married in at least 15 days before, in your case the 'Highlands'. There will almost certainly be a waiting list in addition to the need to give notice. There is no way past the need to give notice, it's there to stop shotgun weddings for bigamists. Secondly, you'll need to bring some sort of proof that you are not already married. Thirdly, you'll need a special Visa (you aren't allowed to do this on a tourist visa or visa-waiver) http://www.ind.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas-immigration/visiting/marriage-cp/ Fourthly, you'll need a couple of witnesses in addition to the registrar. Fifthly, you'll need a registar. If you want to get married in a church, or by a priest, well, you basically can't - churches in Scotland require you to be a part of the parish to get married there. Registrars cost a few hundred. Dont let this put you off. Also, bring an anorak. It will rain a lot.
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Mar 9, 2012 20:06
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Quick responses and amazing information. Thanks! Looks like I have a to do list of things to start this weekend.
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Mar 9, 2012 22:19
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Two months til the wedding and our officiant just backed out because I don't believe in God! Ughhhhh poo poo I'm already so tired of this crap. Maybe it's time to elope.
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Mar 11, 2012 06:58
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Tender Child Loins posted:Two months til the wedding and our officiant just backed out because I don't believe in God! Ughhhhh poo poo I'm already so tired of this crap. Maybe it's time to elope. Honestly, I'd get the actual marriage done at town hall and have the wedding officiated by someone there. Or something. That's so lovely, I'm sorry.
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Mar 11, 2012 16:46
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So we're having our wedding at an aquarium, and the ceremony/reception space are in one large room. It will be open for our ceremony for one hour, then for another hour, we'll have a "cocktail hour" in the sharks exhibit while the room is switched over to the reception space. After that, we'll have dinner and the reception for two hours. Throughout the whole event, guests will be free to wander most of the exhibits in our immediate vicinity. Up until now, we haven't considered having a DJ and dance floor, but I mentioned this to my bridesmaids and they looked at me like I am crazy. My thinking is that the exhibits themselves would be the main attraction, and that we won't really have the room long enough to make having a DJ and dance floor worthwhile. On top of that, my fiance and I aren't exactly dancers ourselves, and most of the weddings that I've been to with approximately the same amount of people in attendance (about 80) haven't really had enough people that actually got up and danced. At the last one I went to, the bride had a live band and had to walk around and practically BEG people to get up and dance. Am I wrong* for going the IPod playlist route? I am really skeptical that shelling out an additional $1k+ to have a DJ and dance floor. Did anyone else forgo the DJ and regret it afterwards? Any input would be appreciated. *I know "wrong" is a relative term here. This is our wedding and in the end we will end up doing what we want, but I am definitely open to feedback about this particular issue.
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Mar 11, 2012 20:55
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pastor of muppets posted:Am I wrong* for going the IPod playlist route? I am really skeptical that shelling out an additional $1k+ to have a DJ and dance floor. Did anyone else forgo the DJ and regret it afterwards? Any input would be appreciated. We aren't doing any sort of music really. Kind of same situation, ours is at a baseball field, and there will be a game going on during the reception (planned that way). I don't think you're wrong going the iPod route. Make sure there are some fast fun songs, slow dance songs, stuff like that. As you said, it's your wedding!
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Mar 11, 2012 21:02
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gogogiraffes posted:We aren't doing any sort of music really. Kind of same situation, ours is at a baseball field, and there will be a game going on during the reception (planned that way). I don't think you're wrong going the iPod route. Make sure there are some fast fun songs, slow dance songs, stuff like that. Yeah, I'm just worried that no one will have any fun, but I guess there's always going to be someone who doesn't for one reason or another. Best not to stress it too much. An update on another front: quote:I was initially going to pay for my bridemaids' dresses, but unfortunately there just isn't room in our budget for me to do that. As a trade-off I'm letting them pick out their own dresses. Luckily, they all love the shade of teal I've picked and it looks good on all three of them. I'm going through Alfred Angelo for all our dresses, and they have a huge selection of bridesmaid dresses for a reasonable price. All three of my bridesmaids were in town last weekend so we went to Alfred Angelo, and oddly enough, even though I was counting on them each having a different dress, they all liked the same one. \/ \/ On top of that, the dresses were an extra $20 off since I bought my own dress through AA. 
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Mar 11, 2012 21:26
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pastor of muppets posted:
We went with the laptop + WMP Playlist + good speakers approach, so basically the same thing. The one thing I would suggest you do is remember that someone has to control the music every now and then, and remember to thank him because it will take more of his time than you expect. For example, when a random person decides they want to toast the bride? Music has to stop, restart at the correct song, etc. Do you plan on running to the iPod and then back to the dance floor for your first dance? If not, you need someone controlling it. Any special dances in the list? (Father / daughter, etc?) Someone needs to control those playlists, announce what it is so that the floor clears, etc. Song too loud, too soft, etc? Same thing, unless you equalized them all before showing up. We absolutely think it was worth it to do it ourselves instead of hiring a DJ. That being said, we owe my new brother in law, who took on controlling the music, a huge debt of gratitude. There ended up being an awful lot of unexpected starts / stops when random people toasted us, special dances added by family members (planned for, but they happened after he agreed to help us), song requests, all sorts of things we really hadn't expected. He probably dedicated a good two hours of his night to babysitting the laptop out of a six hour reception. In short: Go for it, but someone has to be assigned to babysitting the player. For the love of God, don't be me and forget the cord. That was my best man's one disgusting task - I sent him out on the day of the wedding to locate a compatible power cord after I left it at home, four hours away. 
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Mar 11, 2012 21:38
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Sundae posted:Really useful poo poo This is exactly the kind of stuff I need to hear. I hadn't considered everything that goes into DIY-ing your own music, so it's good to have all that to think about and figure out before the day of. Thank you!
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Mar 11, 2012 21:48
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Does the aquarium even allow dj's? I would think loud music would be bad for the fish. When we were looking at having our wedding at the local zoo, they expressly forbid anything but very soft background music
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Mar 11, 2012 22:51
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Kitten Kisses posted:Does the aquarium even allow dj's? I would think loud music would be bad for the fish. When we were looking at having our wedding at the local zoo, they expressly forbid anything but very soft background music At the academy of sciences in SF, they have a nightlife event every thursday... there are often DJs in the aquarium and the fish dont seem to mind.
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Mar 11, 2012 23:02
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Kitten Kisses posted:Does the aquarium even allow dj's? I would think loud music would be bad for the fish. When we were looking at having our wedding at the local zoo, they expressly forbid anything but very soft background music Definitely. The room we are using is somewhat tucked away and when we were there a few weeks ago to sign our contract there was a party going on for a woman's 90th (!!!) birthday involving a live band.
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Mar 11, 2012 23:49
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pastor of muppets posted:
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Mar 12, 2012 01:18
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pastor of muppets posted:words words words Your ladies did the same as mine! And lovely dress! What color?!
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Mar 12, 2012 03:41
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Me and my fiancee have decided on a no children policy for our wedding. We just don't want kids at something that is going to be an adult celebration. As predicted, my mom started raising a fit when hearing it, calling it unfair to exclude my nephews. But I'm not trying to exclusively exclude them, we just don't want kids there. I think part of the issue is most of my family isn't used to gatherings with alcohol, but this will definitely be an open bar party, and really not appropriate for kids. I'm starting to see why eloping is so popular 
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Mar 12, 2012 10:31
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Your wedding, your rules, do what makes YOU happy (IMO)
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Mar 12, 2012 10:56
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Chin Strap posted:Me and my fiancee have decided on a no children policy for our wedding. We just don't want kids at something that is going to be an adult celebration. As predicted, my mom started raising a fit when hearing it, calling it unfair to exclude my nephews. But I'm not trying to exclusively exclude them, we just don't want kids there. I think part of the issue is most of my family isn't used to gatherings with alcohol, but this will definitely be an open bar party, and really not appropriate for kids. You and I are having the same rule. We have a few guests with young kids, but we really don't want them there... we love their kids, but it wouldn't be fair.. we are also having an open bar, crazy guests (his Marine buddies and basically everyone in maintenance in my unit), so for safety and peace-of-mind from all parties, no young kids, teenagers welcome. Edit: My family that's coming is only a small portion of the family/clients he's inviting, and my family members raise each other on the belief that basically, "believe what you want, do what you want, I don't care, you're happy and I'm happy." His family was raised Catholic, and the town we live in holds a Stepford-esque standard over the people living in it..... the younger residents like myself and Dave and our friends aren't like that at all, but everyone else is.... Dave has a bunch of issues with what we want for our wedding, mostly because the family isn't approving, but I agree about do what YOU want.... my theory is, if they want to tell me how to get married, they should've married me themselves. miseerin fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Mar 12, 2012 |
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Mar 12, 2012 19:17
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I told my sister today that it was going to be adults only. She said OK, hung up, then two minutes later my brother in law calls back and asks why my sister is crying. I tell him, and he says if we do this I'll be "tearing my family apart". He says if we do this then he wants nothing to do with us ever again. I told him that is his choice to make. Really I'm not very close to my sister and it wouldn't be a big loss if that is what they did. But I'm so riled up now. Why is everything a personal attack on them?
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Mar 13, 2012 00:21
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Chin Strap posted:I told my sister today that it was going to be adults only. She said OK, hung up, then two minutes later my brother in law calls back and asks why my sister is crying. I tell him, and he says if we do this I'll be "tearing my family apart". He says if we do this then he wants nothing to do with us ever again. I told him that is his choice to make. Were all of the babysitters in their town murdered or what? How is this so hard?
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Mar 13, 2012 00:25
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Tender Child Loins posted:Were all of the babysitters in their town murdered or what? How is this so hard? By not inviting all of my family I am rejecting them as part of my family. Or some poo poo like that.
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Mar 13, 2012 00:28
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Chin Strap posted:Me and my fiancee have decided on a no children policy for our wedding. We just don't want kids at something that is going to be an adult celebration. As predicted, my mom started raising a fit when hearing it, calling it unfair to exclude my nephews. But I'm not trying to exclusively exclude them, we just don't want kids there. I think part of the issue is most of my family isn't used to gatherings with alcohol, but this will definitely be an open bar party, and really not appropriate for kids. My husband and I did this and even though it ruffled a few feathers at first, it made for a much more relaxing time for us. His sister had children at her wedding and when the kiss happened during the ceremony, one of the cousins yelled out "EW!!!!". I didn't want that to be us. I just want to echo what so many have said during this thread. This is YOUR day. Do everything the way you want to, and don't worry about everyone else.
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Mar 13, 2012 01:30
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Ambellina posted:My husband and I did this and even though it ruffled a few feathers at first, it made for a much more relaxing time for us. His sister had children at her wedding and when the kiss happened during the ceremony, one of the cousins yelled out "EW!!!!". I didn't want that to be us. I just want to offer up the other side of having children at a wedding. We don't have a lot of young kids in our families, but the niece & nephew we had at our wedding (5 & 8 years old) were really well behaved. They had a great time dancing with everyone else during the reception & helped get some people out on the dance floor that might have just sat in their chairs the whole night. In our case, these families had to travel to attend our wedding, so it really would have been terrible to tell them that their children weren't welcome. If your families are local, then having a no-child policy wouldn't be as much of a stretch.
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Mar 13, 2012 01:50
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GoreJess posted:I just want to offer up the other side of having children at a wedding. We don't have a lot of young kids in our families, but the niece & nephew we had at our wedding (5 & 8 years old) were really well behaved. They had a great time dancing with everyone else during the reception & helped get some people out on the dance floor that might have just sat in their chairs the whole night. In our case, these families had to travel to attend our wedding, so it really would have been terrible to tell them that their children weren't welcome. If your families are local, then having a no-child policy wouldn't be as much of a stretch. This was our experience too. Some of the cutest pictures from the wedding are the kiddos dancing together (there were around a dozen total, from babies to about 9 year olds), so super adorable. But ultimately, it's your day, and if you want no kids there, that is totally your call.
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Mar 13, 2012 01:57
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My two nephews will be 5 and 6 at my wedding, my niece will be 2. Theyll be the ringbbearers and flower girl so i cant wait.  there are some family friends of my fiance (say it 5 times fast) who have three younger girls so we don't mind kids at the ceremony. That said, I'm incredibly close with my nephews and niece, and the three girls are a package deal with the parents but they're well behaved. I'm big into keeping family close so I wouldn't exclude immediate family but to each his own. How old are your sisters kids?Also, went dress shopping with my mom today, going Wednesday with her, my mom and grandma to another place in town but I found an amazing dress!!, It was only 100 dollars on the sale rack!!! There were two more I want to try at the store but we will see how Wednesday goes. As for bridesmaids...I'm still not even sure I'd want them since my guys friends are all out of the country and won't be here for the wedding so I don't want him to feel left out. The thing is.....my best friend just got a really huge, black tattoo on her chest. If I decide to have two bridesmaids, how do I politely tell her I want it covered? Just suggest a dress that's a halter top so it's covered?
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Mar 13, 2012 02:28
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My nephews will be like 10, 12, and 15. Old enough to stay with someone else for the weekend while they travel. I'm sorry, but a wedding isn't a family reunion, and I don't have to invite absolutely all family members, especially not ones I see once a year max. We don't want kids at our wedding, and my sister is allowed to not like it if she wants, and if she doesn't come (be it out of logistics or protest) I wouldn't be offended. It is just the threat to cut me out of her life forever over one thing after I've been good to them all these years, that is the part I think is super hyperbolic and childish. And even then, since I'm not that close with them, I won't even be super sad about being cut out if that is really the way they want to act, it more stresses me because of the implied future drama that is going to happen over it. Oh well, I told them over a year in advance (wedding is summer 2013), they have some time to cool down and reconsider their threats. I'm not going to write them or try to argue with them any time soon though, I have more productive things to do with my time. I'll still take the high road and invite them, and it is in their court at that point.
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Mar 13, 2012 11:06
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Chin Strap posted:My nephews will be like 10, 12, and 15. Old enough to stay with someone else for the weekend while they travel. I'm sorry, but a wedding isn't a family reunion, and I don't have to invite absolutely all family members, especially not ones I see once a year max. So one of the nephews would be 16 by your wedding? That's not really a child, so she would have a little reason to be annoyed. Weddings often are family reunions. You may not want it to be one, but don't be surprised when people think it is. There is inevitably going to be drama when you don't invite kids so you just have to accept it. Also, do you think maybe you were a bit harsh in the way you told them? We don't know you, your sister, or what was said, but you don't come across like the most sensitive person. Maybe your words were closer to "loving kids are horrible. Yours aren't invited" then you though. Her husband does seem a bit confrontational though, calling you to say "why did you make her cry?"
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Mar 13, 2012 13:16
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Chin Strap: if you have a cutoff date in mind between "too young to be here" and "old enough to be invited", clearly mention it in the invitations. My wife's cousin's wedding had this issue where the invitations just said "no kids" but they MEANT "no little kids". One particular aunt refused to show for the reception because her two kids (age 11 & 12) were technically not invited, and another uncle decided to point out his displeasure with the invitation's wording by announcing he'd skip the reception because his 17 & 20-year old 'kids' weren't invited. A family from the other side brought a baby. v  v
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Mar 13, 2012 13:31
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oldskool posted:Chin Strap: if you have a cutoff date in mind between "too young to be here" and "old enough to be invited", clearly mention it in the invitations. 18+ is the cutoff. WeaselWeaz posted:So one of the nephews would be 16 by your wedding? That's not really a child, so she would have a little reason to be annoyed. Weddings often are family reunions. You may not want it to be one, but don't be surprised when people think it is. There is inevitably going to be drama when you don't invite kids so you just have to accept it. No, he will be 15 by the wedding. She can be annoyed, she can be hurt, she can not come, and I would understand all that. Invoking the nuclear option because of it is a lovely thing though. quote:Also, do you think maybe you were a bit harsh in the way you told them? We don't know you, your sister, or what was said, but you don't come across like the most sensitive person. Maybe your words were closer to "loving kids are horrible. Yours aren't invited" then you though. Her husband does seem a bit confrontational though, calling you to say "why did you make her cry?" I tried to be as tactful as possible. I'm a perfectly sensitive person most of the time. Her husband is a very confrontational individual and can be very scary sometimes.
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Mar 13, 2012 13:39
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I'll be honest with you, three boys at that age probably aren't going to be incredibly disruptive, especially at 15. I realize you say you only see them once a year and respect you don't want kids at the wedding but I'll tell you what my dad told me when I first said I wanted a dry wedding. He said that while me and my fiance might not drink, our guests are going to be coming to our wedding to celebrate us and our relationship, and usually wedding gifts, outfits, the whole thing isn't cheap so people often drop quite a bit in cash to come, it's your day but you do need to think of the feelings of your guests. It's not kids I'm worried about being disruptive, its the people I know who will drink too much but I definitely couldn't not invite them and hurt their feelings over something like that v  v
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Mar 13, 2012 14:39
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Toriori posted:As for bridesmaids...I'm still not even sure I'd want them since my guys friends are all out of the country and won't be here for the wedding so I don't want him to feel left out. The thing is.....my best friend just got a really huge, black tattoo on her chest. If I decide to have two bridesmaids, how do I politely tell her I want it covered? Just suggest a dress that's a halter top so it's covered? You don't, because she's your best friend. Subtly offering a halter top may prompt her to state that she wants to show off her tattoo. I don't know, that kind of thinking to me is like borderline Bridezilla. I saw an episode of Bridezilla where a bride bought a new bridesmaid dress for her friend because she noticed that she was gaining more weight and has really ugly backfat. She told all this to the bridesmaid, ugly back fat and all, who cried and left. (I really have only watched a few episodes of this awful show) I guess what I'm saying is, the tattoo is a part of your friend. Why do you want to risk offending her? So your bridesmaids look identical, primped, perfect smiling carbon copies of each other for your pictures? (Stepford Bridesmaids?) In your pictures, if anyone points to the bridesmaid with the giant black chest tattoo just explain that that's your awesome best friend/bridesmaid, and she's just cool like that. If someone else's ink will ruin your whole wedding enough to warrant having no bridesmaids at all, than you're thinking about this whole thing too much.
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Mar 13, 2012 14:53
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Yeah that's a good point, thanks for putting it into perspective for me. I was only going to have two bridesmaids and let them pick the dress anyway. She's kooky and always has crazy hair colours so the tattoo won't even be that big of a deal.
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Mar 13, 2012 15:19
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Another thing about kids (in my case): We are inviting a ton of our friends from in town (we save weekends to get together and go drinking at a farm/warehouse a few miles down the road), and we tend to get a bit crazy and have a lot of fun... so pair about 20 of those with another 15 or so Marines and soldiers, and an open bar, and you got yourself a really crazy after-party reception... of course, they are adults, and are aware that they can't get too rowdy, but it will be pretty insane and extremely fun. Because of this, it's better that there are no kids under 13, because there will be cursing slip-ups, and drinking, and dancing... so we cut that option out right away... it's not that we're rude and all Jersey-shore, but we're planning on having a HUGE celebration as a reception, not a tea party. e: Also, tattoos: I'm very laid-back, and my one bridesmaid is COVERED in tattoos. She is such a badass though, and I love her for being herself... I told her to flaunt the artwork as much as she wanted, and didn't say a word when she picked out a strapless dress. She is beautiful, and I love her, and I'll love her being up there for me.
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Mar 13, 2012 16:43
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| # ? Jun 13, 2024 04:03 |
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Chin Strap posted:I told my sister today that it was going to be adults only. She said OK, hung up, then two minutes later my brother in law calls back and asks why my sister is crying. I tell him, and he says if we do this I'll be "tearing my family apart". He says if we do this then he wants nothing to do with us ever again. I told him that is his choice to make. We had this problem too and there's very little to be done about it, because parents tend to think their kids are special and fantastic. Just gotta suck it up and trust that everything will be okay. On the other hand, you can make the situation a little better if you get lucky (as we did) and all the kids are past a certain generational point. Everyone under age was the child of a cousin for us, so we just let everyone know that we couldn't afford pushing the line past cousins (which was the case.) Our story may help with that. My mom was adamant that we would mortally offend several of my cousins by not inviting their kids. They had to come from out of town, blah blah blah. The cousins came to the ceremony with their kids in tow. This was actually a big reason we didn't want kids - the slightest sound carried in there, and they were still crying age. My cousins ended up being very apologetic about bringing the kids and went right into the soundproofed cry room. They put them with a sitter for the reception and ended up having an amazing time. At about 12:30 the dad came up to me and thanked me for a good excuse for a night without the kids. oldskool posted:Chin Strap: if you have a cutoff date in mind between "too young to be here" and "old enough to be invited", clearly mention it in the invitations. We handled it by addressing all envelopes specifically to the list of people who were invited. My cousin is X married to Y with child Z, the envelopes only said X and Y. Your milage may vary, but we didn't have anyone RSVP their kids. The less subtle way to do it (that we considered) is to have something like this on your RSVP cards: "Yes, ___ of 2 will be attending."
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Mar 13, 2012 22:08
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