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So I made it out of last night's Pathfinder game ( ) having been subjected to only one rape joke and the condescension of not being considered a 'hardcore gamer'.The joke was that rape is a class skill for dwarves. It was delivered by an unpleasant, overweight, ham of a man (though oddly clean-shaven) between salty fistfuls of roasted nuts and sips of diet Pepsi.
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Mar 15, 2012 17:01
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Clanpot Shake posted:The joke was that rape is a class skill for dwarves.
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Mar 15, 2012 17:11
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Splicer posted:How does this even make sense as a joke, offensive or otherwise? Who associates Dwarves with amazing raping skills? Yes I know I'm focusing on the wrong thing here but I don't care. Context that the thread demands to hear!
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Mar 15, 2012 17:20
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The "joke" is that rape is "funny".
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Mar 15, 2012 17:31
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"Well you see, dwarves are really good at 'digging deep', if you know what I mean, and it makes sense that they can 'drill through' things besides rock, and heh heh rape should be a class skill" 
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Mar 15, 2012 17:34
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I don't even remember the context. We had two halfling barbarians (me and coolguy) and a dwarf druid who started his day after an extended rest with 3 pints of ale. We started joking about our hilariously sub-optimal party makeup and coolguy made a joke untrained non-class skill check. It came up. Not sure how, but it did. We weren't in a social encounter, nor were there any women (fictitious or otherwise) present.
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Mar 15, 2012 17:35
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Edit: Beaten while replying. I guess that's the end of that terrible line of speculation.
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Mar 15, 2012 17:38
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Doc Hawkins posted:The "joke" is that rape is "funny".
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Mar 15, 2012 18:37
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Okay, so we just started playing Eclipse Phase with a pretty new GM and it was off to a rocky start. I gave him some advice and asked that we not try to make a bunch of house rules when none of us are all that solid on the rules to begin with. I just got an email where he says that he is planning to use the D20 Star Wars Rules in the Eclipse Phase setting?! "Its basically the same thing and since we aren't using the Psi rules (when did we decide that?)we can just drop that use make them force powers" What the hell guy? I was giving you a break but how is that better than just learning the actual rules?
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Mar 15, 2012 18:54
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As usual, The Force ruins everything. Please, schedule an appointment for your child. We've made great advances in safe* midichlorian removal technologies. *Disclaimer: Safe for the doctor. Procedure has 45% chance of removing the left half of your child's skeleton.
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Mar 15, 2012 19:27
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Splicer posted:How does this even make sense as a joke, offensive or otherwise? Who associates Dwarves with amazing raping skills? Yes I know I'm focusing on the wrong thing here but I don't care. It is true what everyone says about dwarves. They don't really love gold. They just say that to get it into bed.
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Mar 15, 2012 20:31
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InfiniteJesters posted:Hey now, if it weren't for the prequels we wouldn't have Republic Commando. Counter-argument: Republic Commando led to Karen Traviss writing for Star Wars. 
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Mar 15, 2012 21:09
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SirPhoebos posted:Counter-argument: Republic Commando led to Karen Traviss writing for Star Wars. Auuuugh, gently caress, I'm having mini-flashbacks here.  God dammit, you're right. It's like an escalating spiral of horrible that occasionally craps out pure gold by accident.
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Mar 15, 2012 21:18
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There was one time where I got to say "But this is how my character would act!" I usually DM games but one of my friends wanted to try it out. I was excited to play a character and be on the other side for a change so I rolled up a character. It was a Dwarven Ranger who, due to a mix of circumstances involving framing, deceit, and greed, ended up being outcast from the rest of the clan instead of being executed. So, my Dwarf had lived in the wilderness for as long as he can remember and it's pretty much all he knows. So he is cautious of others and very cautious of bureaucratic types. Well, some strange poo poo starts happening in the forest and a loosely-formed group of adventurers all come and talk to my Dwarf and convince him that everyone needs to band together to protect this wilderness from this evil and then they can go their separate ways afterwards. So, the party heads back to the main town. This is going to be the first time in Moradin knows how long that my dwarf has stepped foot in an civilized town. And, well, as soon as he does the party gets ambushed by some monsters hiding out in the town, who have apparently increased their scope from the wilderness to include the town. We dispatch them pretty quickly but my Dwarf starts to ask questions. An agent of the mayor arrived and assured everyone that actions were being taken to assure everything was OK. But my character couldn't wrap his head around how an organized town was acting so disorganized to let monsters inside and attack people. Aren't towns supposed to have guards? All answers led to: "yes, but..." My Dwarf, being distrustful, thought there had to be someone in the town working with the monsters to get rid of us -- the monsters hiding out in the town didn't attack anyone else and waited specifically for us. So the group went to sleep at the lodge and left my Dwarf to do some inspecting around, not wanting to sleep for fear of a sneak attack, of course! Dead-end at every path. I checked to see if there was a secret meeting. Nope. Tried some gather intel. Nothing. Tried to sweet talk some of the guards into giving me anyting. None of the guards saw anything sneak by. At this point I'm metagaming. I think to check to see if there are any sewers. None. So at this point I'm pretty much exhausted of all options and reluctantly my dwarf heads back to the lodge to sleep. The next morning we are summoned to meet the mayor himself. We wait outside his office for some time talking with the Agent and all the while my Dwarf is getting nervous as gently caress. We are getting summoned by the mayor for what reason? This ragtag party was just concocted to stop a threat in the wilderness, what could the mayor have to do with us? Unless, of course, the mayor was behind it all. So, the mayor got done with whatever-the-gently caress he was doing and opened the door only to be greeted with an axe to the face!  : What the hell are you doing? : Well the mayor was obviously the bad guy. : Well there's no reason to axe a guy in the face as he walks out of a room : But I was just roleplaying my character. It's what he would've done! : But you can't! He survives with a few HP left! : I approach him and coup de grace with my remaining axe!And that was that. The DM was and is my best friend, but the game ended right there. He took it pretty hard, but, after I explained my reasoning, he could see where I was coming from. 
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Mar 15, 2012 23:34
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Congrats, your character was literally . What's really amusing is that I could totally understand your character's actions, it's just a lot of those Things We Usually Ignore so the game can progress.
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Mar 15, 2012 23:58
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Yeah it's in-game sort of justifiable but metagame-wise I would have shared my suspicions with one of the other characters so I could be "reluctantly talked out of it" rather than derailing my friends' game.
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Mar 16, 2012 00:00
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Pharmaskittle posted:Yeah it's in-game sort of justifiable but metagame-wise I would have shared my suspicions with one of the other characters so I could be "reluctantly talked out of it" rather than derailing my friends' game. My character's suspicions were pretty well known considering I asked so many questions to so many NPCs that Agent guy came out to calm me the hell down. And the fact that I told the party I wasn't sleeping in the lodge because I was afraid of being attacked. But, yea, I didn't discuss killing the mayor. But I truly thought that he would've improvised and our party would've had to leave the city pronto for killing the mayor. But he just sort of let the game die. The other players were having a blast laughing at my dwarf's antics and the mayor part. It was sort of a win-lose.
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Mar 16, 2012 00:10
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The Adventures of Dwarf Quixote would be an awesome game to play in/run.
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Mar 16, 2012 00:13
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Congrats on ruining the game because your GM forgot to tie your tutorial combat in to the plot?
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Mar 16, 2012 00:16
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How is it ruined if you can figure it out? That's like saying you ruined this trap by avoiding it.
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Mar 16, 2012 00:22
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I may have been a Worst Experience on Tuesday. Some background is needed though. It was an IRC game of DnD, and a sequel to a game from a few months back. Of the five players, three were in that game and two were keeping their characters, myself and a cleric of a thunder god. The game opened with the King on his deathbed, and ended up in us saving the Crown Prince's life. From his sister, the queen-consort of a nearby city-state, who was then executed for treason. The sequel opened six months later, with a large crown of people being accidently teleported to the New World, a mostly unsettled continent far East, where the rival city-state is the only real power, thanks to having a Gate there. The teleport was slowly reversing, based on proximity to the initial spell, so people at the edges were popping back every few hours, while the PCs at the middle had a few days. Near the end of that time, we encountered a camp of Orcs, and from that camp we saw a whole army of them, poised to attack the city-state's colony. The presence of ogre mages and demonic idols suggested the Orcs may have been capable of opening the gate and invading the home continent. Bad news as, even if we weren't on best terms with the city-state, we doubted the Orcs would stop there. Our druid became an eagle and flew as fast as she could to warn them, and was the only one capable of making it before the teleport wore off. Back home, we told the new King's steward, and he was obviously worried. The orcs and ogres with the same demonic idols had been involved in the attempted assasination of the then-Prince, and we never did find out how they got to the Mainland. We needed intel from the city-state. It was at this point, that I made my first point. A perfectly rational decision in my mind. My wizard and the cleric were both significant figures in the death of the city-state's queen-consort. One of us crossing the border might look odd, but both? Together? It could spark an incident, and we don't know the Orcs aren't with the city-state. So I decide to arrive two days later. It's splitting the party, but in this case makes more sense than not. One of the new players, and a captain in the City Guard, elects to accompany me, while the other three head off first. The game splits into two channels at this point, so the split parties are isolated from each other. As I and the Captain arrive, we can see smoke in the distance. Refugees are fleeing, and groups of mercenaries are camped outside the city-state walls waiting for orders. The mercs aren't telling us who their orders came from, and we have out party members still, presumably, in the city. Heading in as stealthily as a wizard and paladin can, we at least avoid the patrols of Orcs and meet up with the party's Rogue, who fills us in. The Orcs have invaded, with ogres and a demon, the one their statues were of. A Marilith (Though we failed out checks to identify it, all we know is it's a big one.), which has set up a teleportation circle in a cleared area of the city. Which the druid and cleric have gone through. At this point, I make my second observation: They've probably committed suicide. The circle here could lead anywhere, but almost certainly not to the New World colony, as the Orcs have taken the castle which already has one of those. Additonally, if it does lead there, it's bound to be guarded and in the bulk of the orc army at that. Additionally, we were asked to find out the situation in the city-state, which seems to be: "ORCS!". Finally, there's no guarentee that this circle is two-way. All in all, going through that portal after the other two party members seems like a terrible idea. I feel kind of guilty about it now, I'm not the kind of person to walk away from the plot, but there's a difference between bravery and stupidity, and informing the nearby armies seems like the better choice. I dunno, what would you guys have done?
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Mar 16, 2012 00:27
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Boiled Water posted:How is it ruined if you can figure it out? That's like saying you ruined this trap by avoiding it. Because the player never had confirmation that the mayor did it? It sounded like the mayor was just a info dump/plot giver that got splatted because a player was 'roleplaying.' No skin off my back. Good lesson to be learned in talking to your GM.
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Mar 16, 2012 00:30
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It does sound like a game with a few holes that the GM didn't spend too much time thinking about, and then LaTeX becoming that guy and pestering the GM with a barrage of senseless questions before attacking a pivotal plot NPC on a flimsy premise.
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Mar 16, 2012 00:32
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AgentF posted:It does sound like a game with a few holes that the GM didn't spend too much time thinking about, and then LaTeX becoming that guy and pestering the GM with a barrage of senseless questions before attacking a pivotal plot NPC on a flimsy premise.
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Mar 16, 2012 00:35
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Boiled Water posted:How is it ruined if you can figure it out? That's like saying you ruined this trap by avoiding it.
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Mar 16, 2012 01:03
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I'm not sure if it was the best or worst of games but it's probably emblematic of my gaming experiences. I go to my usual gaming group with a copy of Graceful Wicked Masques (an Exalted supplement). I figure it's a neat departure from our usual stuff and they seemed game for it. The premise is explained, character sheets printed, we get to work. Stats are devised, concepts laid down, including a badass gunslinger and an enormous brute. Things start to get a little weird when they start picking names of stuff from various nearby food items. Then, when I explain just how much freedom they have in character design, things start to get remarkably silly. Gunslinger dude becomes Sel Windsor, a man made out of snakes wearing a trenchcoat, and the brute becomes Vertmont, a giant pile of moss with a tree trunk for an arm. That wasn't the weird part, though. The weird part arises when they start choosing their followers. Soon, gunslinger snake-dude is followed by an army of obedient squirrels and a giant whale made of various greenery is following them everywhere. Suffice to say, they then get to the usual conquering and subjugating funs. A few sessions in, they're both wearing mayoral sashes, ruling over a city, have attached a giant-rear end-cannon to the back of the whale, trained the squirrels in commando tactics, and I'm just sitting there, staring at my books, wondering how the hell we got here. The game ended in a climactic battle between them and an army of fascist goats. All in all, it was a fantastic game and sort of laid the framework for pretty much all future games after that. Subsequently, we had a 4th Ed D&D game that involved an inflatable badger, a racist bonsai tree, a trade union dispute being resolved via crucifixion, and a hell of a lot of gnome-based puns. I love my group.
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Mar 16, 2012 01:13
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Axelgear posted::whatthechrist: Can I join your group? 
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Mar 16, 2012 01:21
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Axelgear posted:Honestly, I don't see how all that's in any way unusual for a game using Graceful Wicked Masques. 
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Mar 16, 2012 01:38
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Axelgear posted:
We require this story. All of it, but the bolded part especially. Punting fucked around with this message at 06:19 on Mar 16, 2012 |
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Mar 16, 2012 06:07
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Splicer posted:Of course ideally the GM would have had the Mayor stand back up, expose his true, but badly injured, form, shout "Haha, you don't know! You don't know who you are!" and then fly out the window/teleport away/suicide. Well, yeah. My players once decided that they'd killed the orcish elite guards, so no point attacking all the other orcs, right? We'll just threaten them a bit until they leave the area. Wait, the DM (me) previously made a big deal about orcs respecting and following strong leaders, and we actually saw an orcish leadership challenge that was a fight to the death. And we've just killed their best warriors... so... (You can see where it's going. All that stuff was flavour text for "orcs are a brutal barbarian warrior culture", but since they're interested...) "Yeah, the remaining orcs aren't running, but they carefully lay their weapons down, hilt facing towards you. They look at (huge fighter guy) expectantly". Instant orc army. They went back and took the town over in the next few sessions. They had fun planning attacks and sorties and siege weapons, and I like improvising, so win-win. We ended the game after that though, because everyone lost interest with the unintentional gimmick.
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Mar 16, 2012 06:11
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AlphaDog posted:We ended the game after that though, because everyone lost interest with the unintentional gimmick.
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Mar 16, 2012 06:16
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Colon V posted:What you can do next time is make them an elite strike force in their own army. Give them missions and encounters that they have to handle, and how well they do can have a fairly major effect on how well their army does. We've done "part of an army" too, with amost that exact setup. It was OK but not especially memorable. From memory, they infiltrated behind the lines like commandos and had fun loving up supply lines to weaken the opposing army, and then held a pass until reenforcements arrived, and then led the counterattack that won the war. Fun, but no really outstanding moments. The "hold the pass" was the best bit, because they and their men knew they only had to last a couple of days until the main army got there, and they also knew exactly how bad the enemy were hurting for supplies, so it was tense and tactical, but they didn't have to win, they just had to not lose for a while.
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Mar 16, 2012 06:21
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AlphaDog posted:We've done "part of an army" too, with amost that exact setup. It was OK but not especially memorable. From memory, they infiltrated behind the lines like commandos and had fun loving up supply lines to weaken the opposing army, and then held a pass until reenforcements arrived, and then led the counterattack that won the war. Fun, but no really outstanding moments. The "hold the pass" was the best bit, because they and their men knew they only had to last a couple of days until the main army got there, and they also knew exactly how bad the enemy were hurting for supplies, so it was tense and tactical, but they didn't have to win, they just had to not lose for a while.
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Mar 16, 2012 06:29
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I find that the best way to keep PCs who have acquired an army from getting bored is to introduce a villain with a bigger and nastier army. The same guys who were just yesterday sighing about being too successful and the focus of the game no longer being on their characters, et cetera, will invariably turn around and yell "Wait, no, gently caress THAT guy, our army is better and we're going to MAKE it better" and turn into Monty, Patton, Rommel, and Sun Tzu, focusing on leadership and tactics. Not because they realize that the game's focus has shifted but because somewhere out there is a dude cooler than them and almost no self-respecting gamer can permit that to happen.
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Mar 16, 2012 10:55
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D&D has rear end for mass combat rules but if my players (or myself as a player) ever build up a huge army, I usually just ask for a rundown of tactics, figure out base stats for the average combatant on either side, and roll like 10d20+mods with some dice roller and line up the results. Each die is 10% of the force and is for a day of fighting. If one side outnumbers the other I usually throw in a bonus for the side with bigger numbers, and poo poo like terrain, clever tactics, etc. all net bonuses/penalties for the sides. It usually works out pretty well, and helps easily determine how many of your 500 skeletons with +4 strength, +1d6 cold damage claws, +2 natural armor, and on-death explosion (corpsecrafter feats are so good) have actually been slain, and how much resistance remains.
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Mar 16, 2012 12:22
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Axelgear posted:Soon, gunslinger snake-dude is followed by an army of obedient squirrels and a giant whale made of various greenery is following them everywhere. You can't go wrong with a gunwhale. Avast.
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Mar 16, 2012 12:48
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SirPhoebos posted:Counter-argument: Republic Commando led to Karen Traviss writing for Star Wars. oh hey, Karen Traviss. I read the Wess'har novels. total garbage.
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Mar 16, 2012 13:37
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I was a worst experience last night. My friend has been working on a custom All Flesh Must Be Eaten campaign, based in LA. The cast includes the Massachusetts townie, the unsettling kinda-crazy doctor, the midget wrestler (who isn't a normal member of the group, but a friend that got invited along), the dumb movie star, a dog (which I still think is dumb, but as long as the guy playing said dog is having fun), and a meth addict. I was playing the addict. So we start in a mall, move towards an evac point, and the game quickly devolves into me and the movie star acting like murderous assholes. At one point, we're headed back to the movie star's house to lay low and figure out what's going on when we encounter two looters. They get in our faces, not really taking a swing or anything yet, and I decide that my guy has had enough bullshit for one day and shoots one of the looters. The movie star shoots the other looter. This causes the townie to get in my face, so I point my gun at him. The player (who is awesome, they all are, I have an awesome group), plays that the townie grabbed my gun's barrel, put it to his head, and said I didn't have the balls. So I said I shot him in the head. The townie's player got this shocked look, and the movie star executed me with a shot to the back of the head. I completely derailed a campaign on the basis of "roleplaying". We retconned it, which I was totally okay with because I didn't want to ruin the campaign either (Sorry, Steve:(), but I think that my being a ruthless, argumentative rear end may have been uncool in the larger scheme of things. That said, I hope the guy playing the dog is having fun, because not being able to communicate, or use tools, or do anything except bite poo poo would drive me crazy after a while. It's hard as a DM to know what to expect from your group. You might have some things in mind for the group to do, but our DM just was continually blown away by our group's stupidity/total disregard for human life. It's like we didn't do anything he had planned- he wasn't even trying to railroad, he just had ideas about what he thought we would do, and we didn't do any of it.
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Mar 16, 2012 14:32
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Sometimes when given a sandbox, the players just poop in it, like cats.
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Mar 16, 2012 14:55
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There's a point, I think, where one loses the right to be mad at PC-on-PC violence. Actively inviting attack from the PC who's shown himself to be a violent killer and then putting that character's gun barrel to your head and daring him to do it? That's past said point. I mean, I'm no fan of antagonistic party roles but drat, man. If you poke the bear with a stick you can't then say "But I didn't know he was gonna EAT me!"
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Mar 16, 2012 14:55
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