ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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Octy: Apr 1, 2010

speeds posted:

I'm pretty sure it's because he's the smallest of the lords from The Fingers. A rocky area of the vale that extends out into the narrow sea.

No, that's just stupid. I like my explanation better. :colbert:

# ? Mar 17, 2012 00:30

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# ? May 15, 2024 09:20

Maytag: Nov 4, 2006; it's enough that it all be filled with that majestic sadness that is the pleasure of tragedy.

Gonna be charitable for a moment.

Just read that blog post with the pic of him not fat and old. He's talking about the signing, the interviews, the television show. That's a busy loving trip, especially when you're old and fat.

What is wrong with his publishers?

The book came out about 8 months ago. The show was pretty popular. Does it really need more publicity in the form of signings and tours?

Real fans are angry. Angry about the wait, angry about the result. Hey fat old dude, let's keep you from writing, let's piss off a good chunk of the fan base, we don't really want to make money from selling more books.

Are they really making enough money from publicity (how would that be possible?) that they can keep a man rapidly collapsing under his own weight from writing?

# ? Mar 17, 2012 00:48

Scuzzywuffit: Feb 5, 2012

Octy posted:

No, that's just stupid. I like my explanation better.

Also, even if we do take this as, "Hurf durf this is what he said in the books," keep in mind that he said this to Sansa. Is he really going to tell the girl he just assassinated a king to try and bone, "Well, you see, they call me that because of my micropenis,"?

# ? Mar 17, 2012 00:58

basx: Aug 16, 2004; Sassy old man!

Maytag posted:

Are they really making enough money from publicity (how would that be possible?) that they can keep a man rapidly collapsing under his own weight from writing?

Yes.

For every creepy goon that falls in your "real fan" category, there are about nine hundred* HBO watchers. It's far more profitable for them to milk the mass market for more money based on existing material than it is to shut GRRM away in his cave and pray he shits out another ten-year thousand page manuscript full of volcanic anuses before he dies.

* made up statistic, but you get the point.

# ? Mar 17, 2012 01:29

Sophia: Apr 16, 2003; The heart wants what the heart wants.

Maytag posted:

Are they really making enough money from publicity (how would that be possible?) that they can keep a man rapidly collapsing under his own weight from writing?

The publishers would know better than anyone if this dude actually has a chance of writing another book in the next few years regardless of if they have him on tour or if them leave him alone on a mountaintop. If that chance is slim to none anyway, might as well have him out on the road making new fans to buy his old books since there ain't any new ones coming. It's working, as far as I can tell.

Edit: This is basically what the guy above me said I see now, so just reinforcing I guess.

# ? Mar 17, 2012 01:46

Rurik: Mar 5, 2010; Thief
Warrior
Gladiator
Grand Prince

I might've found out what GURM has decided for Dany's army's future.

She's gone through desert once and there's deserts still nearby, after all. Still don't believe me? I have evidence:

quote:

"We have found the first archaeological evidence of a story reported by the Greek historian Herodotus," Dario Del Bufalo, a member of the expedition from the University of Lecce, told Discovery News.

Bufalo is a clear reference to his bovine stamina in bed.

# ? Mar 17, 2012 12:01

Junkenstein: Oct 22, 2003

When was Dance locked down and sent to the publishers? We must be getting close to a year since the fucker wrote anything now.

# ? Mar 17, 2012 12:54

Urdnot Fire: Feb 13, 2012

Rurik posted:

I might've found out what GURM has decided for Dany's army's future.

She's gone through desert once and there's deserts still nearby, after all. Still don't believe me? I have evidence:

Bufalo is a clear reference to his bovine stamina in bed.

Well, now we don't need to read the last two books, do we? Sorry, Gurm, you took too long, we will now derive the ending to the series using the Discovery Channel (and perhaps a bit of the History Channel).

# ? Mar 17, 2012 17:17

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Junkenstein posted:

When was Dance locked down and sent to the publishers? We must be getting close to a year since the fucker wrote anything now.

God-loving dammit I didn't think you were correct I was like "But Dance just came out?" and then I remembered...... and then I remembered.......

"But-but what about those sample chapters he's been reading at conventions?"

Didn't he have to cut a bunch of chapters and move them to TWoW because his publishers were finally all "Just let the drat book go so we can get paid?"

E- \/ \/ \/ \/ This man knows his roots

mind the walrus fucked around with this message at 02:39 on Mar 18, 2012

# ? Mar 17, 2012 22:04

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

I've been having a bit of fun with the reddit conspiracy nuts:

They posted this thread

And when you click the title, It goes to this edited post.

BAD THREAD'D :smugGRRM:

# ? Mar 18, 2012 02:26

whowhatwhere: Mar 15, 2010; SHINee's back

Man, it's been forever since a WILD CARDS, BITCH moment :allears:

e: also jesus christ, the posts defending r/mensrights by claiming it's similar to r/atheism :psyduck:

whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 02:46 on Mar 18, 2012

# ? Mar 18, 2012 02:43

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

Forgot one.

DAARIO DYES

Other than that, game, set, and match.

# ? Mar 18, 2012 02:56

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

whowhatwhere posted:

Man, it's been forever since a WILD CARDS, BITCH moment

e: also jesus christ, the posts defending r/mensrights by claiming it's similar to r/atheism

Oh yeah, spoiler alert, everything in that thread is terrible and crazy.

Especially the guy that thinks goons did 9/11 or whatever. Don't actually read any of that.

# ? Mar 18, 2012 02:57

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Tony Danza Claus posted:

Especially the guy that thinks goons did 9/11 or whatever. Don't actually read any of that.

Well when you make it sound so boring....

# ? Mar 18, 2012 03:03

crazypeltast52: May 5, 2010

Tony Danza Claus posted:

Oh yeah, spoiler alert, everything in that thread is terrible and crazy.

Especially the guy that thinks goons did 9/11 or whatever. Don't actually read any of that.

We didn't? Then who was this Osama bin Lowtax fellow?

# ? Mar 18, 2012 03:13

VaultAggie: Nov 18, 2010; Best out of 71?

I wish I read reddit more often to understand what the gently caress is happening on that sight. I clicked the link and still have no clue what's going on at that page.

# ? Mar 18, 2012 06:56

Octy: Apr 1, 2010

some reddit user posted:

SomethingAwful has distilled down to the most insufferable basement dwellers on the internet. All the normal people have moved on years ago, leaving only the least educated morons. Its only draw now is the staff of dystopian mouth-breathing admins who ban anyone not toeing their brand of authoritarian, hyper-liberalism.

Their impotent membership gets humiliated in the real world so frequently they compensate by bringing a particularly passionate effort in their fruitless internet activism.

Its best to ignore such embarrassing individuals.

Is this true? I'm starting to regret my :10bux:

# ? Mar 18, 2012 07:31

Mediant: Dec 23, 2010; In Brightest Day...
In Dankest Night...

I know I came for the dystopian, hyper-liberal, authoritarian, mouth-breathing admins. Didn't you? :reject:

# ? Mar 18, 2012 07:46

IRQ: Sep 9, 2001; SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

VaultAggie posted:

I wish I read reddit more often to understand what the gently caress is happening on that sight. I clicked the link and still have no clue what's going on at that page.

Basically that's a subforum where bitter gross creepy losers unironically want to treat women like in Gurm's books and think they're a poor persecuted bunch because straight white males just can't catch a break.

# ? Mar 18, 2012 08:01

Joramun: Dec 1, 2011; No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

"Why do you have to make everything into an issue? Don't you have things to do in your own life?" - Frank Rossitano, the wisest man in America.

# ? Mar 18, 2012 14:51

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Mediant posted:

I know I came for the dystopian, hyper-liberal, authoritarian, mouth-breathing admins. Didn't you?

Hey, now, Citizen. That sounds suspiciously like sedition.

# ? Mar 18, 2012 15:26

whowhatwhere: Mar 15, 2010; SHINee's back

I Love Friend Lowtax. Refusal to love Friend Lowtax is treason. You're not a commie redditor traitor, are you?

# ? Mar 18, 2012 16:02

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Sung Yung Lowtax and his army of gooooooooooons are going to spoil yo poo poo.

# ? Mar 18, 2012 16:04

IRQ: Sep 9, 2001; SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

Hey guys there's a cool thread in GBS you might want to check out: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3473178&pagenumber=2

# ? Mar 19, 2012 01:12

nuncle jimbo: Apr 3, 2009

I'm pretty sure a bunch of people got banned the last time that stuff came up so uh

haha whoops forgot where I was for a sec

nuncle jimbo fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Mar 19, 2012

# ? Mar 19, 2012 01:29

Stay Safe: Sep 1, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

nuncle jimbo posted:

I'm pretty sure a bunch of people got banned the last time that stuff came up so uh

haha whoops forgot where I was for a sec

This happens to me all the time, nuncle jimbo

# ? Mar 19, 2012 02:16

Azure_Horizon: Mar 27, 2010; by Reene

Rumor going around that Jeyne Westerling is going to be turned into a Lannister to create a Romeo & Juliet-type circumstance for Robb's arc, which seems supremely heavy-handed to me.

# ? Mar 19, 2012 03:13

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Azure_Horizon posted:

Rumor going around that Jeyne Westerling is going to be turned into a Lannister to create a Romeo & Juliet-type circumstance for Robb's arc, which seems supremely heavy-handed to me.

But... the Rains of Castermere...

# ? Mar 19, 2012 03:16

GonSmithe: Apr 25, 2010; Perhaps it's in the nature of television. Just waves in space.

Hey, speaking of the shithole that is reddit, someone on ASOAIF posted a transcript of the Victarion chapter excerpt:

quote:

The Noble Lady was a tub of a ship, as fat and wallowing as the noble ladies of the green lands. Her holds were huge, and Victarion packed them with armed men. With her would sail the other, lesser prizes that the Iron Fleet had taken on its long voyage to Slaver's Bay, a lubberly assortment of cogs, great cogs, carracks, and trading galleys salted here and there with fishing boats. It was a fleet both fat and feeble, promising much in the way of wool and wines and other trade goods and little in the way of danger. Victarion gave the command of it to Wulf One-Ear.

"The slavers may shiver when they spy your sails rising from the sea," he told him. "but once they see you plain they will laugh at their fears. Traders and fishers, that's all you are. Any man can see that. Let them get close as they like, but keep your men hidden belowdecks until you are ready. Then close, and board them. Free the slaves and feed the slavers to the sea, but take the ships. We will have need of every hull to carry us back home."

"Home," Wulf grinned. "The men will like the sound of that, Lord Captain. The ships first � then we break these Yunkishmen. Aye."

The Iron Victory was lashed alongside the Noble Lady, the two ships bound tight with chains and grappling hooks, a ladder stretched between them. The great cog was much larger than the warship and sat higher in the water. All along the gunwales the faces of the Ironborn peered down, watching as Victarion clapped Wulf One-Ear on the shoulder and sent him clambering up the ladder. The sea was smooth and still, the sky bright with stars. Wulf ordered the ladder drawn up, the chains cast off. The warship and the cog parted ways. In the distance the rest of Victarion's famed fleet was raising sail. A ragged cheer went up from the crew of the Iron Victory, and was answered in kind by the men of the Noble Lady.

Victarion had given Wulf his best fighters. He envied them. They would be the first to strike a blow, the first to see that look of fear in the foemen's eyes. As he stood at the prow of the Iron Victory watching One-Ear's merchant ships vanish one by one into the west, the faces of the first foes he'd ever slain came back to Victarion Greyjoy. He thought of his first ship, of his first woman. A restlessness was in him, a hunger for the dawn and the things this day would bring. Death or glory, I will drink my fill of both today. The Seastone Chair should've been his when Balon died, but his brother Euron had stolen it from him, just as he had stolen his wife many years before. He stole her and he soiled her, but he left it for me to slay her.

All that was done and gone now, though. Victarion would have his due at last. I have the horn, and soon I will have the woman. A woman lovelier than the wife he made me kill.

"Captain." The voice belonged to Longwater Pyke. "The oarsmen await your pleasure."

Three of them, and strong ones. "Send them to my cabin. I'll want the priest as well."

The oarsmen were all big. One was a boy, one a brute, one a bastard�s bastard. The Boy had been rowing for less than a year, the Brute for twenty. They had names, but Victarion did not know them. One had come from Lamentation, one from Sparrow Hawk, one from Spider Kiss. He could not be expected to know the names of every thrall who had ever pulled an oar in the Iron Fleet.

�Show them the horn,� he commanded, when the three had been ushered into his cabin.

Moqorro brought it forth, and the dusky woman lifted up a lantern to give them all a look. In the shifting lantern light the hell-horn seemed to writhe and turn in the priest�s hands like a serpent fighting to escape. Moqorro was a man of monstrous size � big-bellied, broad-shouldered, towering � but even in his grasp the horn looked huge.

�My brother found this thing on Valyria,� Victarion told the thralls. �Think how big the dragon must�ve been to bear two of these upon his head. Bigger than Vhagar or Meraxes, bigger than Balerion the Black Dread.� He took the horn from Moqorro and ran his palm along its curves. �At the Kingsmoot on Old Wyk one of Euron�s mutes blew upon this horn. Some of you will remember. It was not a sound that any man who heard it will ever forget.�

�They say he died,� the Boy said, �him who blew the horn.�

�Aye. The horn was smoking after. The mute had blisters on his lips, and the bird inked across his chest was bleeding. He died the next day. When they cut him open his lungs were black.�

�The horn is cursed,� said the Bastard�s Bastard.

�A dragon�s horn from Valyria,� said Victarion. �Aye, it�s cursed. I never said it wasn�t.� He brushed his hand across one of the red gold bands and the ancient glyph seemed to sing beneath his fingertips. For half a heartbeat he wanted nothing so much as to sound the horn himself. Euron was a fool to give me this, it is a precious thing, and powerful. With this I�ll win the Seastone Chair, and then the Iron Throne. With this I�ll win the world.

�Claggorn blew the horn thrice and died for it. He was as big as any of you, and strong as me. So strong that he could twist a man�s head right off his shoulders with only his bare hands, and yet the horn killed him.�

�It will kill us too, then,� said the Boy.

Victarion did not oft forgive a thrall for talking out of turn, but the Boy was young, no more than twenty, and soon to die besides. He let it pass.

�The mute sounded the horn three times. You three will sound it only once. Might be you�ll die, might be you won�t. All men die. The Iron Fleet is sailing into battle. Many on this very ship will be dead before the sun goes down � stabbed or slashed, gutted, drowned, burned alive � only the Gods know which of us will still be here come the morrow. Sound the horn and live and I�ll make free men of you, one or two or all three. I�ll give you wives, a bit of land, a ship to sail, thralls of your own. Men will know your names.�

�Even you, Lord Captain?� asked the Bastard�s Bastard.

�Aye.�

�I�ll do it then.�

�And me,� said the Boy.

The Brute crossed his arms and nodded.

If it made the three feel braver to believe they had a choice, let them cling to that. Victarion cared little what they believed, they were only thralls.

�You will sail with me on Iron Victory,� he told them, �but you will not join the battle. Boy, you�re the youngest � you�ll sound the horn first. When the time comes you will blow it long and loud. They say you are strong. Blow the horn until you are too weak to stand, until the last bit of breath has been squeezed from you, until your lungs are burning. Let the freedmen hear you in Meereen, the slavers in Yunkai, the ghosts in Astapor. Let the monkeys poo poo themselves at the sound when it rolls across the Isle of Cedars. Then pass the horn along to the next man. Do you hear me? Do you know what to do?�

The Boy and the Bastard�s Bastard tugged their forelocks; the Brute might�ve done the same, but he was bald.

�You may touch the horn. Then go.�

They left him one by one. The three thralls, and then Moqorro. Victarion would not let him take the hell-horn.

�I will keep it here with me, until it is needed.�

�As you command. Would you have me bleed you?�

Victarion seized the dusky woman by the wrist and pulled her to him. �She will do it. Go pray to your red god. Light your fire, and tell me what you see.�

Moqorro�s dark eyes seemed to shine. �I see dragons.�

I haven't read it yet, but I'm excited to. Victarion is awesome.

# ? Mar 19, 2012 03:18

Arnold of Soissons: Mar 4, 2011; by XyloJW

Azure_Horizon posted:

Rumor going around that Jeyne Westerling is going to be turned into a Lannister to create a Romeo & Juliet-type circumstance for Robb's arc, which seems supremely heavy-handed to me.

Ahhah, the show is even more terrible than the books, just in a slightly different way.

# ? Mar 19, 2012 03:18

Maytag: Nov 4, 2006; it's enough that it all be filled with that majestic sadness that is the pleasure of tragedy.

TV audiences can only handle so many details.

# ? Mar 19, 2012 03:18

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

Azure_Horizon posted:

Rumor going around that Jeyne Westerling is going to be turned into a Lannister to create a Romeo & Juliet-type circumstance for Robb's arc, which seems supremely heavy-handed to me.

If thats true I will rage and never watch again and spend my time playing chrono chross instead

# ? Mar 19, 2012 03:24

FuriousxGeorge: Aug 8, 2007; We've been the best team all year.

They're just finding out.

Good move, now the Starks and the Lannisters, old hands at political marriages, can use this development to make peace so the Lannisters can deal with Stannis and Renly. Jaime and Sansa can be sent home, the war ended. A win for everybody!

# ? Mar 19, 2012 03:26

whowhatwhere: Mar 15, 2010; SHINee's back

Azure_Horizon posted:

Rumor going around that Jeyne Westerling is going to be turned into a Lannister to create a Romeo & Juliet-type circumstance for Robb's arc, which seems supremely heavy-handed to me.

But that would make Robb marrying her seem stupid but sensible, instead of ridiculously idiotic.

# ? Mar 19, 2012 03:44

crazypeltast52: May 5, 2010

Azure_Horizon posted:

Rumor going around that Jeyne Westerling is going to be turned into a Lannister to create a Romeo & Juliet-type circumstance for Robb's arc, which seems supremely heavy-handed to me.

But then Twyin 's hand will be too obvious; instead of him plotting with the matron of a minor house to break the Frey-Stark alliance we have a young lionness doing that for her house, making Robb even more foolish for trusting her.

Also Victarion is awesome!

# ? Mar 19, 2012 04:06

Factor_VIII: Feb 2, 2005; Les soldats se trouvent dans la v�rit�.

FuriousxGeorge posted:

Good move, now the Starks and the Lannisters, old hands at political marriages, can use this development to make peace so the Lannisters can deal with Stannis and Renly. Jaime and Sansa can be sent home, the war ended. A win for everybody!

That could work as an ending if HBO decided that two seasons were enough. The series ends with a Stark and Lannister peace treaty, the red wedding is averted and everyone lives happily ever after. Good way to troll the hardcore novel fans too.

whowhatwhere posted:

But that would make Robb marrying her seem stupid but sensible, instead of ridiculously idiotic.

I think it made sense for the character even if it was a retarded move. Robb was his father's son after all and put honor before reason.

# ? Mar 19, 2012 04:11

Abalieno: Apr 3, 2011

The interview is very interesting, especially the part where he explain names and some of the tropes.

But I think you guys would enjoy more this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlJblxV3QHQ

Minute 3:40

Also, minute 12:25 he says exactly what was in this previous post:

el_brio posted:

At one point he compares his writing style to a car journey. I found it amusing that the first three events that popped into his head during this lame extended metaphor are stopping to get lunch, getting a flat tire, and picking up an "interesting" hitchhiker. How perfectly GRRM. Food, lack of forward progress and creepy summarize his writing style perfectly.

Abalieno fucked around with this message at 04:35 on Mar 19, 2012

# ? Mar 19, 2012 04:12

Azure_Horizon: Mar 27, 2010; by Reene

whowhatwhere posted:

But that would make Robb marrying her seem stupid but sensible, instead of ridiculously idiotic.

I liked the naivete of Rob's decision (as it shows his youth) and the connections the Westerlings have to the overall situation make it so much more interesting than just making her a loving Lannister.

Seems like a cop-out to save any more backstory being introduced or whatever. I think Robb would look stupider fooling around with a Lannister rather than just some minor girl.

# ? Mar 19, 2012 04:28

empty sea: Jul 17, 2011; gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset

whowhatwhere posted:

But that would make Robb marrying her seem stupid but sensible, instead of ridiculously idiotic.

There is nothing Robb can do to seem anything but ridiculously idiotic. Even the actor has that perfect Determined But Stupid face. Oh, you Starks. Too honorable to take the Iron Throne while you had the chance, too stupid to live. :love:

I can't wait for the Red Wedding.

# ? Mar 19, 2012 04:35

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# ? May 15, 2024 09:20

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Azure_Horizon posted:

I liked the naivete of Rob's decision (as it shows his youth) and the connections the Westerlings have to the overall situation make it so much more interesting than just making her a loving Lannister.

Seems like a cop-out to save any more backstory being introduced or whatever. I think Robb would look stupider fooling around with a Lannister rather than just some minor girl.

Well they did insert a brand new Lannister "Alton" who might be involved with this plot. Got to love the rules of TV where tangents just aren't allowed to exist, even if they dovetail with the narrative later on.

# ? Mar 19, 2012 04:40

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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