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Boxman posted:We handled it by addressing all envelopes specifically to the list of people who were invited. My cousin is X married to Y with child Z, the envelopes only said X and Y. Your milage may vary, but we didn't have anyone RSVP their kids. The less subtle way to do it (that we considered) is to have something like this on your RSVP cards: "Yes, ___ of 2 will be attending." Doesn't always work, because people think their infant doesn't count because it won't be eating.
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Mar 14, 2012 00:29
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Toriori posted:I'll tell you what my dad told me when I first said I wanted a dry wedding. He said that while me and my fiance might not drink, our guests are going to be coming to our wedding to celebrate us and our relationship, and usually wedding gifts, outfits, the whole thing isn't cheap so people often drop quite a bit in cash to come, it's your day but you do need to think of the feelings of your guests. Guess what? You should have gone with a dry wedding if that is what you wanted. Especially if it is mentioned on the invite, there should be no issue, because it is your day and your celebration and you get to decide what is happening. There isn't some sort of financial balance book where you have to provide $X worth of entertainment for $Y of outlay from your guest. Guests are free to choose to not come if they think that celebrating your marriage isn't worth the cash spent if they don't get to drink.
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Mar 14, 2012 12:40
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Chin Strap posted:Guess what? You should have gone with a dry wedding if that is what you wanted. Especially if it is mentioned on the invite, there should be no issue, because it is your day and your celebration and you get to decide what is happening. There isn't some sort of financial balance book where you have to provide $X worth of entertainment for $Y of outlay from your guest. Guests are free to choose to not come if they think that celebrating your marriage isn't worth the cash spent if they don't get to drink. There's a happy medium between "My wedding is a giant party for my guests and I have to dump all my money into it" and "This is my wedding and I don't care if my guests have a good time." Generally, having alcohol (at minimum beer and wine) is part of that happy medium. You don't have to have a minimum cost per head for it to be a good wedding, but you should at least try to make it enjoyable for the guests. In America that means alcohol. Unless there's a strong, moral reason to have a dry wedding or something like a parent who is an alcoholic and won't be able to control themselves it's tough to justify a dry wedding to me. Is it your day? Absolutely, and if you have a tiny wedding it can be as much your day as you want. When you start inviting guests to share your day then you have a responsibility to entertain them. Share is the key word day, it's not 100% your day because you've invited others to be part of it.
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Mar 14, 2012 13:27
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WeaselWeaz posted:Is it your day? Absolutely, and if you have a tiny wedding it can be as much your day as you want. When you start inviting guests to share your day then you have a responsibility to entertain them. Share is the key word day, it's not 100% your day because you've invited others to be part of it. Of course it should be a good time, but that doesn't have to mean alcohol. You have a responsibility to entertain them, I agree. That doesn't mean it has to be with certain exacting stipulations. As long as the party is fun, how you make it that way is your choice.
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Mar 14, 2012 15:03
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Chin Strap posted:Of course it should be a good time, but that doesn't have to mean alcohol. You have a responsibility to entertain them, I agree. That doesn't mean it has to be with certain exacting stipulations. As long as the party is fun, how you make it that way is your choice. It's a tiny wedding, as in about 50 people who are closest to my family. If I had a big wedding, I'd for sure stay dry. I still didn't want to unload a mint into an open bar for A) a short reception and B)that few people. I talked about it with my mom and my idea was to make wine as the wedding favours, so I can get 120 small bottles of wine for about 200 dollars. We'll have 60 take-home and 60 on the tables that people can drink during the reception. The reason I initially wanted a dry wedding? At my sister's wedding our rear end in a top hat cousin (part of my stepdad's family, none of which are invited) invited her rear end in a top hat boyfriend who just got slaughtered and tried to do a backflip off a chair and landed on his head. Luckily there's only one uncle I need to keep an eye on since he get's loud and obnoxious, so I'm making my mom brief him beforehand, haha. And you're right, if I truly didn't want alcohol I would have pushed for it. Now my fiance is interested in trying to swing a weekday wedding. If it's a weekday it'll be dry but I'm not crazy about that idea. Lastly, I really do want to keep the feeling's of the guests in mind. Like I said, people give pretty generously to the new couple and they're taking time to come share such a big day. Oh well, to each his own.
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Mar 14, 2012 15:21
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Toriori posted:Lastly, I really do want to keep the feeling's of the guests in mind. Like I said, people give pretty generously to the new couple and they're taking time to come share such a big day. Oh well, to each his own. I agree with this. You shouldn't treat the guests like poo poo or anything. But I think having hurt feelings just due to no alcohol sounds like a very immature attitude. You can be generous and giving back to your guests by having a great party, but alcohol isn't a 100% requirement.
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Mar 14, 2012 15:27
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Toriori posted:Wow!! Toriori posted:what do you folks think?? Toriori posted:Bridal Show this Sunday!!! Toriori posted:I found an amazing dress!!, It was only 100 dollars on the sale rack!!! Toriori posted:I'm making my mom brief him beforehand, haha. I know you're new here, so I'm just going to give you a warning: Do not type like this here. "haha" and too many punctuation marks make you look like an idiot. It is not that bad compared to posts on most other forums, true, but just try to be a little more formal.
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Mar 14, 2012 15:32
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^Duly noted.Chin Strap posted:I agree with this. You shouldn't treat the guests like poo poo or anything. But I think having hurt feelings just due to no alcohol sounds like a very immature attitude. You can be generous and giving back to your guests by having a great party, but alcohol isn't a 100% requirement. Yeah, that's definitely true. If my fiance wants to push the whole dry reception thing more since I know he's more concerned about the drinking than I am, I'll go for it. Our reception is going to be a short afternoon one, ceremony at 11, reception from afterwards til 4. Then I think we're going to have a big potluck/barbecue at my uncle's who lives just minutes away from the location.
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Mar 14, 2012 16:16
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I need some insight in regards to family heirlooms & rings. I am also totally clueless about settings, types of rings, or my girlfriend's ring size. We've been together three years, she doesn't wear rings so none I could use as a reference size. I do know that she wants a conflict-free diamond. The opportunity, piece #1: my mom offered me her engagement ring from her marriage to my dad. They divorced after 19 years, I view the ring as cursed, but I was told I could do anything I want with it. She offered this 2.5 years ago, and has brought it up a few more times since then. I don't know the size, value, or anything. Piece #2: my aunt/godmother offered to give me a single diamond earring that once belonged to my grandmother. This was offered to me a year ago. I am certain it is a nice size diamond, and it was originally part of a pair given to my grandmother by my grandfather, and their marriage lasted 49 years before my grandfather passed away. So in my mind, this is a very sentimental item, has a great story and history to it. With all of that laid out, what can I do and/or where can I go to have the diamond from the earring turned in to an engagement ring? Can I (and should I) take the other engagement ring and use that as collateral for the new ring? Is this a viable option? Maybe the old engagement ring would even pay out some money that could be put towards the wedding and/or some sort of thank you to my mom & aunt?
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Mar 14, 2012 21:58
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You can always sell your old jewelry and use the money to put towards a new ring. But there's also no harm in having the old diamonds reset into new rings. Any jeweler is happy to use old diamonds in new pieces. If you want to get quotes on selling your mother's old ring feel free to shoot me a PM and I can give you some guidance on it.
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Mar 14, 2012 22:31
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Toriori posted:^Duly noted. I had a Sunday wedding at the same time, with the same about of people (approx 50). Kids were invited. It was a dry wedding too. Myself and my family and half the guests are Buddhists, and we don't drink. We did have a signature mocktail though. Because it was so small and intimate and relaxed, no one really missed the alcohol.
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Mar 15, 2012 10:34
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pastor of muppets posted:Definitely. The room we are using is somewhat tucked away and when we were there a few weeks ago to sign our contract there was a party going on for a woman's 90th (!!!) birthday involving a live band. This actually depends a lot, so make sure you get it in writing so that you can get some sort of refund if an aquarist walks up and pulls the plug to the speakers. Sometimes the catering department at zoos/aquariums push it with regards to animal care guidelines. There was actually an incident 6 weeks ago at my work where they "forgot" to mention that they were bringing in a live band for a huge corporate function (which we expressly forbade after a rave at the shark tank 2 years ago... ), and we found out since there are often people in the lab afterhours, so now the rules are even stricter. It also depends on what particular species is in the area that is being set up, time of year, and if there are any particular health concerns at that time.
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Mar 16, 2012 03:03
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JohnnyRnR posted:If you want to get quotes on selling your mother's old ring feel free to shoot me a PM and I can give you some guidance on it. Sent a PM. And going off topic, I want to hear about the shark tank rave from ChloroformSeduction sometime.
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Mar 16, 2012 13:49
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Just wanted to whine because we are over budget (as in, over the budget that I wanted to set because I feel it's a fair amount for a wedding; my dad is paying for my entire wedding and honeymoon) and my stepmom keeps pushing things that she wants to have herself and my dad pay for. This is such a first-world problem, but I really just didn't want to spend more than we needed to, and I thought I could be proud of myself for having a wedding that cost half the national average. She just says "your dad wants you to have this," and hands over the credit card. Should I just shut up and let her pay what she wants? She and my dad are VERY generous people who are doing well financially.
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Mar 17, 2012 21:25
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Betazoid posted:Should I just shut up and let her pay what she wants? She and my dad are VERY generous people who are doing well financially. I think if she's willing/happy to and it's not going to make life harder for you (and since it's not your money, it shouldn't) or make life harder for THEM, just go with it. Arguing/confronting her is going to cause more strife than it's worth if they are perfectly okay forking over more for YOUR wedding. Think about it this way: it could be a lot worse and they could be demanding things you have to pay for yourself. As it is, you said they are well-off so they want to throw money at you to prove they care. Is it really that bad to let them?
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Mar 17, 2012 21:36
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ExtrudeAlongCurve posted:As it is, you said they are well-off so they want to throw money at you to prove they care. Is it really that bad to let them? It's not at all, I guess. Thanks for the perspective. I thought that if I didn't spend the entire sum that they'd allotted for the wedding (my parents are planners), they'd spend it on themselves or use it for accommodations or travel. That isn't looking likely. Also, with three daughters (and I'm the first to get married), I thought they might roll it over into one of my sisters' weddings.
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Mar 18, 2012 00:56
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Betazoid posted:It's not at all, I guess. Thanks for the perspective. I thought that if I didn't spend the entire sum that they'd allotted for the wedding (my parents are planners), they'd spend it on themselves or use it for accommodations or travel. That isn't looking likely. Also, with three daughters (and I'm the first to get married), I thought they might roll it over into one of my sisters' weddings. Perfectly reasonable to feel that way (and good on you for trying to be frugal and rational!). That said, when it comes to wedding, someone somewhere is going to be completely irrational about things and avoiding fisticuffs is going to end up factoring in some decisions.
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Mar 18, 2012 01:27
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Does anyone have any advice about doing cupcakes for your wedding and doing them yourself?
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Mar 19, 2012 01:58
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Betazoid posted:It's not at all, I guess. Thanks for the perspective. I thought that if I didn't spend the entire sum that they'd allotted for the wedding (my parents are planners), they'd spend it on themselves or use it for accommodations or travel. That isn't looking likely. Also, with three daughters (and I'm the first to get married), I thought they might roll it over into one of my sisters' weddings. My dad paid for my entire wedding and my stepmom acted as our wedding planner. We spent well over what I would have wanted to spend, and did plenty of things that I could have done without. But my stepmom or dad wanted them and they were not things that I was unhappy to have. And in the end it worked out. They were happy with the wedding, me and my husband were happy with the wedding. They also make plenty of money and it wasn't a financial burden for them to do it. Honestly, as long as the things they are pushing for are not things that you specifically dislike and your parents aren't the type that are going to hold the cost over your head (mine aren't), I'd say just go with it. Some of the stuff my parents picked out actually wound up being really awesome, even if I didn't always like how much it cost and all the wedding planning really helped cement my relationship with my stepmom.
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Mar 19, 2012 02:27
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Anya posted:Does anyone have any advice about doing cupcakes for your wedding and doing them yourself? We aren't doing them ourselves but we are doing cupcakes. They were 23 a dozen. We had 10 flavors to choose from. We could use all 10 if we wanted. We nixed red velvet (summer wedding at a baseball game) but we have tropical flavors, then vanilla, chocolate, hummingbird and carrot. With a vegan and gluten free option. But I do frequently bake for work, 50 or so cupcakes at a time. It really depends on if you enjoy baking. Have the room to store them. And the time to do them the night before.
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Mar 19, 2012 04:47
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Anyone have any dealings with JVL Jewelry? The fiancee won two free rings at a bridal show, and all we pay is shipping. It seems a bit too good to be true, but from what I can find online, they are good, but I figured I would check here as well.
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Mar 19, 2012 16:44
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My wedding is a ways away (October 2013... we wanted to save money and work on getting our first house before we got hitched) and planning is pretty low-stress so far since I'm starting so early. However, I'm running into one big problem: bridesmaids. I don't have any close friends anymore; the people I talk to most is my co-workers, but we don't exactly hang out. Is it okay to just drop the bridesmaids altogether? It will be a small wedding anyway: between 50-70 people.
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Mar 19, 2012 18:10
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Anya posted:Does anyone have any advice about doing cupcakes for your wedding and doing them yourself? Your biggest issue is going to be freshness. If you have multiple flavors, you'll probably need at least 2 per guest, do you really think you'll have time to bake and room to store that many cupcakes the night before your wedding? Do you want your hand to be so cramped from icing them that you can barely get the rings on? I think it's totally cool to have a friend or relative do your food, but it shouldn't be the bride or groom, as you'll be stressed and responsible for a million other things.
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Mar 19, 2012 18:25
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It's definitely a bad idea to make your own baked goods as the bride, unless you are a serious professional. However in any case you can bake your cakes ahead of time and freeze them well wrapped until you need them. The one caveat with cupcakes is that you will need to use foil liners so that you don't have soggy paper liners when they defrost. You can also make fantastic proper buttercream in advance and freeze it as well. Two days before the wedding just pull everything to come to temp and the day before you can finish them all off.
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Mar 20, 2012 01:48
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Any good resources for finding a good hotel to spend your honeymoon at? Are there any special considerations that I should consider? Not really sure what I should be looking for.
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Mar 20, 2012 19:33
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The Hebug posted:Any good resources for finding a good hotel to spend your honeymoon at? Are there any special considerations that I should consider? Not really sure what I should be looking for. I like TripAdvisor.com for hotels in general. Also, I got a better deal through a travel agent.
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Mar 20, 2012 19:53
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It really depends on where and when you want to go. International? Domestic? All-inclusive? Staying in town? Tropical? Ski lodge? Once you've narrowed it down a bit there's tons of reasources like reviews and packages and what not.
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Mar 20, 2012 19:54
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Can anyone comment on Titanium Era from the OP? They have some three stone titanium bands that I'm considering but their prices are very low. I'm waiting on a quote from a jeweler who is making my fiancée's wedding band but I'm worried he'll be out of our budget on mine (three sapphires set in a white metal that isn't silver). This may be a better backup plan than just buying a plain ring and waiting until our first anniversary, since it could at least be the style I want now.
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Mar 20, 2012 21:54
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 I got this one for my fiance. My budget was $500 (I used part of my tax return on it)... I know a lot of people go for a lot cheaper, but my uncreative fiance designed my ring himself and had it custom made, which is a HUGE deal for him... he hates being creative, and he deserved something unique. I chose this one because I like titanium myself, and I'm going to school for history, and with him being a history buff as well, a meteorite discovered in 1838 in his ring was too awesome to pass up. The guy has a ton of really cool titanium rings, and when I say he is professional and prompt, I mean it. He responded to all my emails within a couple hours, and started working on my ring three hours after I placed the order. His Etsy Shop So far, I got my reception dress, invitations, and his ring from Etsy, and I have not been let down yet. Here's my dress, by the way. It came in on Monday, and I am so excited  I'm wearing my Mom's dress for the ceremony, but the train is one of those where you have to hold it from my wrist, and I didn't want to, so I got my own dress for the reception. I really like that it falls to just below my ankle... I thought I wouldn't, but I really like that, and I love how comfortable I am in the dress. 
miseerin fucked around with this message at 14:38 on Mar 21, 2012 |
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Mar 21, 2012 14:35
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miseerin posted:This is great. How long lasting / hard wearing is meteorite. I fancy something with an inlay but was thinking of abalone, but I'm worried it won't last.
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Mar 21, 2012 19:12
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My logic is... it's a meteorite.... it should last... I'm sure it's got years on it... but if for some reason it doesn't, I won't mind getting something different a few years down the road. This was just too unique to pass up. I really like it, and more importantly, he likes it too. e: V V V Thanks for the info... that's reassuring.
miseerin fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Mar 21, 2012 |
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Mar 21, 2012 19:16
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The meteorite inserts last very well. Don't let them sit in a puddle of water on the sink overnight since they are steel and can rust, but they're as strong as steel. I've sold several and none of my customers have ever had a problem.
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Mar 21, 2012 20:11
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miseerin posted:So far, I got my reception dress, invitations, and his ring from Etsy, and I have not been let down yet. We've used Etsy like this too. One of my bridesmaids makes jewelry (she has an etsy). She's doing their jewelry. The guys ties and suspenders, my dogs tie, my reception dress (we're getting married at a baseball field and going to the game after, can't wear that ballgown all night in the middle of summer). Also our rings and the bags I got the girls. We're also using clutches instead of bouquets of flowers for the bridesmaids, so those he made too. I think my birdcage veil as well. In short, in short, I love Etsy.
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Mar 22, 2012 21:01
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The lady at the bridal shop called today and let me know that my wedding dress will be in by the end of April. I can't wait to see it! This is the style, although I think the model is a little bit scary. She looks mad. http://www.anaissonweddings.com/occasion_12_p1_NW/AO12-008P_8x10.html I got it without the floral embellishment and have a few brooches to try out instead. I wanted a little bit of color. gogogiraffes posted:In short, in short, I love Etsy. Yes! We just bought our wedding bands from a seller on Etsy. I'm pretty sure they have been mentioned in this thread before, but this is their shop's page: http://www.etsy.com/shop/fabuluster Thus far, they have been incredibly easy to communicate with in terms of response time and answering all of our questions about various metals, styles, width...etc. We went with the ones that have the fingertip print on one side of the ring rather than wrapping around the whole band, and also decided not to have blackening done. I can't believe we are getting married 3 months from tomorrow. It seems like yesterday that I was posting in this thread about our engagement. Time flew by so fast.
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Mar 22, 2012 21:22
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Yup, etsy was a big part of our wedding, it saved my butt on multiple occassions. I really can't get over how friendly and helpful all the sellers there were despite all my nitpicky custom orders or last minute purchases. I'm just going to post some of my favorite people I ordered from because they deserve some free promotion:P Ring bearer chest from: http://www.etsy.com/shop/CustomRingChests. This box was freaking gorgeous in person and has been incredibly sturdy so far as keepsakes go, it's already survived two cross country moves in one piece. boutonnieres from: http://www.etsy.com/shop/ericacavanagh. These were also crazy gorgeous and surprisingly sturdy so long as you keep them in the nice little box she packages them all in. I got a necklace from here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/RachelleD. Ended up using something else that I found later on but I still love this one as well. She is the sweetest seller and even included some free blue beaded earrings as a "something blue" gift for me as a fun surprise I got bridesmaids gifts from: http://www.etsy.com/shop/elegancewithflair. This seller was amazing, I didn't contact her until a week before my wedding, asked for 3 custom locket bracelets and because I had no printer access she even printed out pictures and put them in the lockets for me. Got them just in time for the wedding, everyone loved em. In summation, Etsy is seriously the best.
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Mar 22, 2012 21:50
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An update on my fiance's ring: It came in the mail today, which was about 4 days since I ordered it. Fast as hell. And it looks amazing. I think it's so cool, it's not glossed over in the middle, so you can actually feel the meteorite, which I think is super cool. It also came with 2 certifications of authenticity, one for the hardness level of the ring, and then other for the meteorite.
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Mar 22, 2012 22:55
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JackRabbitStorm posted:Anyone have any dealings with JVL Jewelry? The fiancee won two free rings at a bridal show, and all we pay is shipping. It seems a bit too good to be true, but from what I can find online, they are good, but I figured I would check here as well. So, the rings were delivered today, they seem legit, and there was a coupon for two more which we gave to my brother. Going to get them appraised/tested to make sure they are true Tungsten.
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Mar 23, 2012 01:44
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Ta-Da  Sorry for the kind of crappy front pic. The dress needs to be taken in slightly at the waist and chest but I'm so in love with it. The bow needs to be pressed but we'll due that closer to the big day.   We went various places and tried on various dresses (my mom, best friend and I), but my friend burst into tears when I came out of the dressing room wearing this one then blubbered "that's the one  " Note tissues in background.
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Mar 23, 2012 03:14
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Alright, I need to call on this thread for some help. My fiancee and I thought we had the venue and everything settled, but when they sent us the contract, we came across what we consider some red flags. The venue is reserving a block of rooms for us, but they are dictating the number of rooms, and of which types. For example, they've set aside five 2-bedroom suites, which I can't see filling, since many of our guests are individual couples. Not to mention that they've exceeded the budget we gave them by nearly $4,000 so far. As a result, we're taking a step back and looking at more options. So, have any goons here got suggestions for wedding ceremony and/or reception locations in Florida, specifically the Orlando/Central Florida region? We're looking as far afield as Sanibel (3 hours drive), since my fiancee would like a beach wedding, but any unique, interesting, or goon-recommended locations would be great. On the positive side, the wedding dress arrived, and is beautiful. Apparently. I am not allowed to see it. Her rings are en route from MoissaniteCo and thanks to the post by miseerin above, I plan on getting my awesome meteorite ring from Boone Rings as well.
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Mar 23, 2012 03:57
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I feel so helpful! If you'd like a reference, here are a couple pics of the ring in the box and on his hand. He loves it: 
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Mar 23, 2012 04:34
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