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the kawaiiest posted:Wow that sounds familiar. I was a "gifted" child so you can imagine how that went for me. I was the most talented and skilled artist in the whole wide world and SO GOOD for my age and blah blah blah. Then I went to a tiny little art academy when I was 14 and oh God. I still remember to this day how crushed and angry I was when I found out that I wasn't special or even good at drawing at all. I remember yelling at my parents for lying to me and crying for days about it. I eventually got over it, but I still hate pretty much everything that I make and feel horribly inferior to everyone else all the time. Yeah, I wasn't a gifted child, but the only real feedback I had from people were my parents and a bunch of old people. Even my singing teacher was someone who had known me since I was 5. It didn't help that everyone knew that I was really sensitive. After 8 years of singing classes, I didn't really learn anything and never moved past "intermediate" level. 13 years of dance classes and I was never good enough to be placed in the class with girls my own age (except for one year, and that was the year we didn't go to competition. ) All the old ladies at church would tell me I did a wonderful job performing in the play and that I'm a natural on stage, yet at school I would get the role of "the mirror" with 2 whole lines, or "Jack's Mother", while the 27 year old instructor took the role of Cinderella. Everyone told me that I was so good, and that I was naturally talented. Why should I have to try harder? If I'm so talented, then everything should come naturally to me. I didn't give myself any reason to try or to push myself. I really wanted to in my dance classes, so that I could be as good as the girl in my grade, but then I got a new instructor who didn't really care to push her students. I really regret not trying harder. Instead of signing me up for an art class, I was just given more sketchbooks and "How to Draw" books. It was only a year ago that I had a bit of a mental breakdown about my art progress, and the lack thereof. My peers were drawing professional level stuff all around me while I was still drawing circles for heads and solid lines for mouths. I had been drawing my whole life. Why wasn't I as good as them? Why couldn't I put the images in my head to paper? What were they doing that I wasn't doing? Did they pity me? "You've improved a lot." and "Your hand drawn work is much better than your digital work." are the nicest things my friends have ever said about my art. No one was willing to tell me that my art was crap and show me how to make it better. But the comic creator meetings that I've been going to have been doing life drawing and artist tutorials from professional artists who know their stuff. I've actually started getting real feedback and being told why my methods are wrong and how to fix them. And it's free, so I can afford it! I've also been told not to be so hard on myself, and I admit that I have a super hard time not belittling myself whenever I show someone my art. Even if it's something I'm secretly proud of, I still feel the need to take myself down a couple notches because I don't feel worthy. "I can't let anyone know that I'm happy with this piece because I don't want the other artists to think "She's happy with this garbage? She must think she's hot poo poo, but she's really just another loser who will never improve"". That's been my thought process. I talk myself down because I don't want the better artists to think I'm delusional about my ability. That was too many words. Sorry for the derail. :/
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 07:08 |
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# ? May 31, 2024 21:59 |
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Colon V posted:That is... you aren't just making that up for us, are you? Pixar once came to SCAD for a thing, I then applied to them and Cartoon Network for some on-campus interviews. After years of people saying "WOW YOU SHOULD WORK IN CHARACTER DESIGN/PIXAR/CARTOON NETWORK" I was promptly rejected by both as my roommate got an interview and internship (which she sadly couldn't take) and got second place in an international illustration competition. OH ART YOU ARE A FICKLE BITCH, hence why I don't bother trying anymore and I work in furniture development.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 07:34 |
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Colon V posted:That is... you aren't just making that up for us, are you? mom posted:You should try. You're VERY talented. Your dreams won't come true if you don't chase them! Anyway, about the whole portfolio thing -- I really think that anyone applying to art school does need to have at least some grasp of the fundamentals and not being taught these things in school doesn't mean anything, at least not now that we have the internet. There are huge art forums and communities out there that are free to join and offer a wealth of information and orientation for beginners (CA.org comes to mind). Sitting there and saying "oh but no one ever told me I had to do X so how was I supposed to know?" when there is this much information available is just silly. Nessa posted:I've also been told not to be so hard on myself, and I admit that I have a super hard time not belittling myself whenever I show someone my art. Even if it's something I'm secretly proud of, I still feel the need to take myself down a couple notches because I don't feel worthy. But nevermind all that because I've got a small but beautiful MR. FURRY UPDATE I found his Facebook. Among his posts about work and video games and the furry fandom, he casually asks his friends if he should try to fix his ferret's prolapsed anus with his fingers or take it to a vet. Thankfully they all told him to take the ferret to a vet, but still...
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 09:09 |
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Nessa posted:Everyone told me that I was so good, and that I was naturally talented. Why should I have to try harder? If I'm so talented, then everything should come naturally to me. the kawaiiest posted:The worst part of it is that I just never believe anyone who compliments my work at all -- my first reaction to a compliment is almost always annoyance because I'm so convinced that the person is lying to me the same way they would lie to a 3 year old. I tend to just say "thank you" and dismiss it completely. Welp, this is pretty much exactly my artistic life. I used to be a IT'S MY STYLE anime retard, but when the high school art teacher (pretty good at her job) pointed out that the whole point of a class was to try new things, it actually made sense to me. For a long time I was at the bottom of the skillset and it was horrible, after being told my whole life I was super talented. It drove me batshit and I got really aggressive in my need to get better. I spent every lunch hour in that classroom, finishing up life drawings of drapes and still lifes, or studying anatomical models trying to figure out what the hell I was doing wrong. I had a best friend whose mother was an artist, and she was actually pretty drat good. She understood basic shading and perspective, she had done just enough life drawing to draw a passable human from scratch. In high school that's a big deal. She was the teacher's pet and every single person praised her abilities. Last I saw her, she was attending some art school. That was right after high school graduation about ten years ago. I recently looked up her deviantart, and... she hasn't improved. At all. She still has all those talents and abilities she had as a teenager, and they still look okay, but since she's now 29 they aren't quite as impressive. She also seems to have gotten into anime. On a personal note, and I hope I can rant for a bit here... I did sign up for art school and managed to get in on the strength of my portfolio, but the school was full of fuckwit teachers who insisted that we explore our creative side and experiment with ideas. We were taught hardly any hard skills and I don't remember being challenged at all. It would have been absolutely the perfect place for special snowflakes to thrive, but the irony is that I hardly encountered any in my time there. Almost everyone in my classes were there to learn. Even the Japanese student who barely spoke English didn't draw much anime. There was exactly one life drawing class. I don't mean it was a life drawing module alongside other modules like painting or sculpture, I mean it was literally one single class inside the drawing module, and the model was treated pretty badly. People were allowed to just wander in and out of the room while she was posing naked, and one time I had to close the door because the teacher forgot. When the class was over she stood up and *had to brush a ton of ants off her body*. I signed up for drawing because I wanted to learn how to goddamn draw, and all the classes were poo poo like, "Okay today we're going to go gather leaves and sticks and flowers, and we're going to use those as brushes, just to see what sort of different effects they can make!" I was waiting for him to whip out the macaroni and glue. Unless our tuition fees were going directly into maintaining the school gardens, we were getting severely ripped off. http://imgur.com/5xw5B This is pretty accurate. Another 'drawing' class had us covering the paper with coloured ink wash, because 'a blank white sheet of paper can be very intimidating'. We didn't even end up drawing on the coloured paper. I tried later, and the bent stiff texture was just really distracting. The teacher did life drawing alongside us. His sketch was disproportionate linework without shading or attention to anatomy. He said it was because he was inspired by Brett Whiteley, which is like when idiots say their style is naturally hosed up looking because PICASSO WAS ABSTRACT YOU GUYS . He was actually the worst special snowflake in the room. How the gently caress did he get hired? VVVVV Sorry for the derail, I sorta forgot what thread I was in. Corridor fucked around with this message at 10:21 on Mar 25, 2012 |
# ? Mar 25, 2012 09:55 |
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PurpleXVI posted:Most of his creepy erotic roleplaying was about cousins boning. WARNING BELLS. I would have said screaming emergency siren and flashing red lights, myself. Perhaps someone should start another thread to cover people's experiences of art school, as it does seem to be rather taking over this thread.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 10:07 |
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Um, how does a ferret get a prolapsed anus? Do I even want to know?
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 10:12 |
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Antivehicular posted:Um, how does a ferret get a prolapsed anus? Do I even want to know?
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 10:21 |
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the kawaiiest posted:I think we should just not think about that. Let us marvel at this wonderful masterpiece that I just found on Gaia instead: Gosh that seems pretty harmless. It's nice to think that they are interpreting their cartoons against adult norms and giving them a place in... wait a minute, where else have I seen 18+ before? <checks internet> Nooooooo!
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 10:46 |
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CuddleChunks posted:Gosh that seems pretty harmless. It's nice to think that they are interpreting their cartoons against adult norms and giving them a place in... Oh. e: haha oh God quote:This is a master and slave roleplay. the kawaiiest fucked around with this message at 11:41 on Mar 25, 2012 |
# ? Mar 25, 2012 11:38 |
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the kawaiiest posted:e: haha oh God Your second mistake was going to Gaia.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 12:12 |
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Colon V posted:Your first mistake was going to Gaia. (I don't know why I do this to myself)
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 12:38 |
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the kawaiiest posted:I don't know what you're talking about. Gaia is full of highly educated and very eloquent young men and women. Gaia is basically /b/ except without the pretend "look how hardcore we are", and the stupid poo poo you stay sticks around.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 14:27 |
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Nessa posted:I'd think an audition should be enough for that. I applied to the theatre arts program and absolutely bombed the audition due to nerves. Even though my school did have a drama class, we didn't have any productions that parents were allowed to attend and the school only had a camera because a student won it for them. We only got to use it once. :/ I was also in musical theatre classes, but our production was never filmed (I didn't know anyone with a camera) and the teacher took the lead role anyway. Something I have to add to this, is that in many high schools, you are not allowed to give out videos of performances you're in unless the other students or their parents agree. This was for both plays and concerts. Sometimes your parents wouldn't even be allowed to record the performance at all. The only exception was for marching band stuff. Supposedly this was for liability or privacy reasons, but the effect of it was if you were a student actively participating in the performing arts of all types (outside marching band) you couldn't build a portfolio of your acting and playing in high school.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 15:50 |
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the kawaiiest posted:Maybe we're over thinking it, I mean Gaia is a web site for 13 year olds after all so it's highly unlikely that these guys are actually Gaia was founded in 2003, someone who joined in the early days when she was 14 would be 22 now. Hopefully they would have stopped posting on Gaia in the meantime, but I am sure some of them stuck around. That's the thing about the Internet, you are whatever age your mind is. You can be in your thirties and share your poorly written Twilight slash fanfiction or whatever with 14 year olds, and be treated as a peer.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 16:32 |
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Sweet loving Christ Gaia Online. Just a quick poke around found a 196-page thread about how bestiality should be legalized and it's okay because if dogfucking is unnatural then so are computers like we're using right now. I'm pretty sure that a day spent browsing Gaia could make the world's happiest man slit his wrists with a gleeful exclamation at being freed from his misery.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 16:38 |
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I went to church this morning, and for some reason I suddenly remembered a couple of weird guys who I ran into in the mid-1990s. I attended one of the old, collegiate British universities, and our college chapel had a regular Sunday morning congregation consisting of the choir (all students), a handful of students who all knew each other through the Christian union and stuff like that, of which I was one, and the odd academic. Theoretically, all these chapel services were open to the public but they only really turned up for Evensong (when the choir get to do their party pieces). But then there was Fred. Fred was a short, fat guy who must have been in his 40s or 50s, had no apparent connection with the college and always seemed to wear the same worn-looking grey suit. Oh, and he seemed pretty keen on hanging around with people 20-30 years younger than him - he was always turning up to those services, and coming along afterwards to get coffee and croissants in the chaplain's room. Actually, I suspect the free food may have been part of the motivation, because I remember seeing him sneak off after one of these breakfasts with some croissants he'd "borrowed". He didn't come across like a rough sleeper though (it's not unusual for inner-city churches in the UK to have homeless people turn up looking for various kinds of help/a handout or to use porches etc. to sleep in). He did come across as dodgy. He had this oily manner and seemed overly friendly and overly interested in younger people. I remember him once telling me that he'd been to a "rave" which sounded like a student disco and I thought - "Why the hell is this guy going to student discos at his age?" It wasn't as if he was even trying to be "The Oldest Swinger in Town" or something - he wore an old suit. In the event, Fred never actually did anything dodgy (that I'm aware of). But there was another guy who used to turn up at one stage who came across as even odder than him. He was also middle-aged, but bald, bearded, bespectactled and starey-eyed, and he just leaked weirdness. I was later told that this guy had approached the chaplain wanting to borrow the choir for use in some bizarre sounding performance he wanted to put on in the College garden and film. The chaplain politely turned him down and he stopped coming.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 16:47 |
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Konstantin posted:Gaia was founded in 2003, someone who joined in the early days when she was 14 would be 22 now. Hopefully they would have stopped posting on Gaia in the meantime, but I am sure some of them stuck around. That's the thing about the Internet, you are whatever age your mind is. You can be in your thirties and share your poorly written Twilight slash fanfiction or whatever with 14 year olds, and be treated as a peer. I posted on Gaia in my 20's, but mostly it was to spam the GD with drawings or photos of burly, hairy men to watch the weaboos cry.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 20:06 |
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stablercake posted:I posted on Gaia in my 20's, but mostly it was to spam the GD with drawings or photos of burly, hairy men to watch the weaboos cry. Always a worthy goal. This thread makes me glad I've only come across creepers instead of total whackadoodles. The worst stories I have of people I personally know are the dude who was kicked out of our anime club because he kept rubbing his nipples suggestively at a chick and my coworker who "ironically" defended bestiality to me and had so many literal stacks of boxes full of anime figurines and 40k models at his house that he slept on a couch instead of a bed to make room for more boxes. Honestly, I don't think I've watched any anime since I started on my ADHD medication. I'll probably still watch some occasionally, but I can't stand the community, so gently caress it. I'm gonna take this thread as an opportunity to say I'm done with the anime community.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 20:46 |
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A Fancy 400 lbs posted:I'm gonna take this thread as an opportunity to say I'm done with the anime community. Cars, anime, sport, they're all poo poo if you interact with their communities. To my experience, if you really enjoy something, the best way to preserve that enjoyment is to avoid other people who really enjoy it.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 21:16 |
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the kawaiiest posted:I don't know what you're talking about. Gaia is full of highly educated and very eloquent young men and women. So the dogfucker thinks the pansexuals are weird. Riiiight.
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# ? Mar 25, 2012 22:13 |
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Allen Wren posted:So the dogfucker thinks the pansexuals are weird. Riiiight. Yeah, really. Even if you set the dog-loving aspect aside, the post boils down to "Hey, I'm not hurting anyone and I'm being careful, I don't think there's anything wrong with what I'm doing. Oh, and gently caress those pansexuals!" I see people behave like this, and it reminds me of myself - not loving animals, but just growing up in a bubble of positive reinforcement with little constructive criticism or guidance from any role models. It really messed me up and stunted my social growth - like, things I should have learned in high school, I didn't learn until college. I snapped out of it eventually but I had to come to terms with it myself before I could start repairing the damage. No amount of people arguing with ol' AEKEACLAW here will convince 'em that, hey, maybe they shouldn't have sex with their dog! At least, not until they get some new perspective on life. It's a sobering thought.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 00:04 |
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Meldonox posted:Cars, anime, sport, they're all poo poo if you interact with their communities. To my experience, if you really enjoy something, the best way to preserve that enjoyment is to avoid other people who really enjoy it. Nah, I needed to do some life reorganizing anyways. Just trimmed my Facebook friends down to 300 from 414. Anime isn't part of my life anymore, so why keep people around where that's my only connection? NOTE: Most of the 114 I deleted weren't "animu buddies", I'm not that pathetic.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 01:29 |
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Konstantin posted:Gaia was founded in 2003, someone who joined in the early days when she was 14 would be 22 now. Hopefully they would have stopped posting on Gaia in the meantime, but I am sure some of them stuck around. That's the thing about the Internet, you are whatever age your mind is. You can be in your thirties and share your poorly written Twilight slash fanfiction or whatever with 14 year olds, and be treated as a peer. If memory serves they had this one guy arrested recently because he was a pedophile who was using Gaia to get nudes from underage girls, who were selling them for Gaia gold. It's like the underbelly of the underbelly of the internet. e: also Gaia is full of juggalos. I forgot to mention that.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 02:04 |
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the kawaiiest posted:e: also Gaia is full of juggalos. I forgot to mention that. What? How? I thought it was a dumb anime site?
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 02:18 |
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KSAF Staff Report posted:What? How? I thought it was a dumb anime site? How are juggalo and weeaboo mutually exclusive?
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 02:21 |
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the kawaiiest posted:Maybe we're over thinking it, I mean Gaia is a web site for 13 year olds after all so it's highly unlikely that these guys are actually Ah, Gaia, I don't miss you. I deleted one guy's thread once and he told me that I was abusing my power because it was his first amendment right to post Family Guy porn. He may have been trolling. I couldn't tell on the site anymore.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 03:02 |
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A Fancy 400 lbs posted:How are juggalo and weeaboo mutually exclusive? Splash Attack posted:Ah, Gaia, I don't miss you. I deleted one guy's thread once and he told me that I was abusing my power because it was his first amendment right to post Family Guy porn.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 03:05 |
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Oh boy, I used to be a Gaia regular. I never was one of the "super rich," but my account is old enough (June '04) it probably has some solid virtual value. Last I checked, I had some envious followers. Who knew how many people would beg for pixelly stuffed cats for their avatars? I was an artist there... I didn't do the typical gallery stuff, though, because I was a budding designer who just learned what Photoshop was. I had a store or two; none of them really stuck because I didn't spam people with ads and bumps. The stores I did have garnered positive attention from passersby, as well as a moderate pile of gold. After a while, I started doing profile designs, if you could call them that. I made one particular profile that was immensely popular on tektek.org and remains far too close to the top in their "Most Popular" designs. It blows my mind how much people loved that design; essentially, it was a black and grey rainy theme with a dash of The Nightmare Before Christmas swirls. I haven't checked my account in 2 years or so, but last I checked I was still getting flooded with questions, comments, and requests because of that thing. I'm glad my dark, angsty theme still reaches middle schoolers, I suppose. God, thinking back, I certainly had some level of crazy myself. I don't have any intriguing stories on that front so much as idle commentary. Gaia was one hell of a place to be.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 04:33 |
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We really need a Gaia thread, especially if we're going to have former mods/forums helpers post stories (please post that poo poo, I want deets).
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 04:42 |
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broken pixel posted:Oh boy, I used to be a Gaia regular. I never was one of the "super rich," but my account is old enough (June '04) it probably has some solid virtual value. Last I checked, I had some envious followers. Who knew how many people would beg for pixelly stuffed cats for their avatars? To clarify, I mean a real car and a real apartment. In the real world. They were offered to her by a rich French guy in his late 40s who had apparently been trying to buy the items for years but couldn't find a seller (Angelic Halos are extremely rare and the few who own them refuse to part with them). She refused the offer. e: I'd be all over a Gaia thread, I have tons of stories to share. the kawaiiest fucked around with this message at 04:46 on Mar 26, 2012 |
# ? Mar 26, 2012 04:44 |
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Holy poo poo, she refused a car and an apartment in exchange for some internet pixels? Did she think that a higher offer would come by or something?
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 05:18 |
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I've never actually been to Gaia, but I've heard of it. Is it just a doll dress-up thing with forums and groups and games? 'Cause I'm on one of those, but it doesn't really seem to have a lot of crazy people... just it's own little economy and a community where bad artists and spammers seem to be called out a lot. At least, the few times I've visited the forums, I've seen threads about people getting called out on bad behaviour or breaking the TOS and absolutely nothing pervy or weird. Which is really weird for a site that caters to anime fans.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 05:19 |
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the kawaiiest posted:e: I'd be all over a Gaia thread, I have tons of stories to share. I was actually banned from Gaia in my early teens after making a wildly popular thread that isolated, identified and lambasted all the different gaian 'social archetypes' that were frequent at the time. I remember getting some priceless hatemail from people defending their insane quirks/mannerisms/craziness. I would actually give anything to go back and read it, but the account has been banned for over half a decade, it's like my holy grail. E: That story was a lot more interesting in my head. Oops.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 05:27 |
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Ensign Expendable posted:Holy poo poo, she refused a car and an apartment in exchange for some internet pixels? Did she think that a higher offer would come by or something? I imagine the car and apartment weren't located anywhere near her. Or that there was really no way to be sure to actually get the car and apartment once she traded her pixels.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 06:04 |
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broken pixel posted:I never was one of the "super rich," but my account is old enough (June '04) it probably has some solid virtual value. Jesus, I just looked on my Gaia page and my account is just over 8 years old! Also my avatar is so badass it almost couldn't be any sweeter:
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 06:20 |
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Nessa posted:I've never actually been to Gaia, but I've heard of it. Is it just a doll dress-up thing with forums and groups and games? 'Cause I'm on one of those, but it doesn't really seem to have a lot of crazy people... just it's own little economy and a community where bad artists and spammers seem to be called out a lot. At least, the few times I've visited the forums, I've seen threads about people getting called out on bad behaviour or breaking the TOS and absolutely nothing pervy or weird. Ensign Expendable posted:Holy poo poo, she refused a car and an apartment in exchange for some internet pixels? Did she think that a higher offer would come by or something? This sort of thing is actually pretty common, there's a huge market for Gaia items. Just have a look here: http://gaiaguru.com/buy-gaia-online-items/ I've seen Angelic Halos selling for tens of thousands before. People are really, really dumb and crazy. I kinda wish I'd joined back in 2003 or so, I could use a few thousand dollars right now. If you guys have old Gaia accounts check out the marketplace at http://www.gaiaonline.com/marketplace/ and see how much your stuff is worth. If you have rare stuff there are plenty of people who would be more than willing to give you a few hundred bucks for them. Easy money for you. e: you're in luck if you have DJs: http://gaiaguru.com/buy-gaia-online-items/dj-studio-headphones.html and if you have "Portable Stereo Headphones" they're probably worth even more. the kawaiiest fucked around with this message at 06:29 on Mar 26, 2012 |
# ? Mar 26, 2012 06:26 |
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Is there a way to see a profile without logging in? I found my password. I guess I probably made an account in 04-05. I log in and it says "your account has been blocked until you turn 13" which is pretty loving weird because I was over thirteen when the site was started, and therefore in order for it to think I'm still 12 it must have actually though I was under five when I joined. I must never have filled out the birthday thing. I wasn't very active.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 06:50 |
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the kawaiiest posted:Gaia is essentially just a doll dress up site with games and forums, yeah. But certain forums are notorious for being really terrible, and the private guilds are just... holy poo poo. The things I've seen. Holy crap. Hundreds of dollars for pixelated Bunny Slippers. The one I'm on is TinierMe http://www.tinierme.com/tinierme/top.do People will do extravagant trades for rare or expensive items, or sometimes do art for items, and there are price guides and everything... but I've never seen someone offer real money for anything.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 07:36 |
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InEscape posted:Is there a way to see a profile without logging in? AFAIK TinierMe is a lot nicer than Gaia in terms of the community and whatnot, but Gaia has a more dedicated (and hosed up) userbase.
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 08:31 |
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# ? May 31, 2024 21:59 |
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treiz01 posted:Jesus, I just looked on my Gaia page and my account is just over 8 years old! Also my avatar is so badass it almost couldn't be any sweeter: Dude,mine was better: (This is so loving ridiculous!!)
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# ? Mar 26, 2012 13:19 |