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HKR
Jan 13, 2006

there is no universe where duke nukem would not be a trans ally



Danzou posted:

I feel like an Epic Wizard should have been able to prevent that.

the wizard got a girlfriend and wasn't there for that session

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Cuchulain
May 15, 2007

My tiny godly CoX shall burn forever!

HKR posted:

the wizard got a girlfriend and wasn't there for that session

Ah yes, the only thing truly capable of consistently defeating a 3.5 wizard.

rotinaj
Sep 5, 2008

Fun Shoe
I don't get why you guys don't understand why undoing the PC actions is an inherently bad idea. When you make everything they accomplished moot, it wastes all the time they just spent. That's why you make the PCs have the reins of the whole "rewrite the past year" plot device and let them choose how to end the campaign. Just saying "I'm the DM, I say this campaign never happened, by the way the PCs all die" line is horrible.

Vorgen
Mar 5, 2006

Party Membership is a Democracy, The Weave is Not.

A fledgling vampire? How about a dragon, or some half-kobold druids? Perhaps a spontaneous sex change? Anything that can happen, will happen the results will be beyond entertaining.

rotinaj posted:

I don't get why you guys don't understand why undoing the PC actions is an inherently bad idea. When you make everything they accomplished moot, it wastes all the time they just spent. That's why you make the PCs have the reins of the whole "rewrite the past year" plot device and let them choose how to end the campaign. Just saying "I'm the DM, I say this campaign never happened, by the way the PCs all die" line is horrible.

But you gotta admit, some players deserve it.

Factor_VIII
Feb 2, 2005

Les soldats se trouvent dans la vérité.

Danzou posted:

I feel like an Epic Wizard should have been able to prevent that.
The 2nd edition Chronomancer supplement had a 9th level spell called Sever Lifeline that removed the caster from the time stream and meant that he couldn't be destroyed by eliminating his past serf/altering history so he was never born.

Poil
Mar 17, 2007

On the other hand, some gods do have wizard levels.

rotinaj
Sep 5, 2008

Fun Shoe

Vorgen posted:

But you gotta admit, some players deserve it.

If that's the case, kick them out or stop running the game. It's never a satisfying game for anyone when the game ends with rewriting/invalidating everything that has been accomplished. Some of my best games have happened using backstory from past games I've run.

I'd go into details about my worst gaming experience where the DM ended up doing just that, but it'd be too much of a derail, I think.

Gee, I hope Rich is okay. :(

Brannock
Feb 9, 2006

by exmarx
Fallen Rib
It loses its power if you intentionally invoke it.

Vorgen
Mar 5, 2006

Party Membership is a Democracy, The Weave is Not.

A fledgling vampire? How about a dragon, or some half-kobold druids? Perhaps a spontaneous sex change? Anything that can happen, will happen the results will be beyond entertaining.

I've never had a bad DM, only bad fellow players. So bad that I would gladly sacrifice my own past and my entire character just to see them cry. And no, I'm not exaggerating, dude would cry over DnD. Also raise his voice and loudly argue his points, no matter how much they wouldn't work.

jng2058
Jul 17, 2010

We have the tools, we have the talent!





Vorgen posted:

I've never had a bad DM, only bad fellow players. So bad that I would gladly sacrifice my own past and my entire character just to see them cry. And no, I'm not exaggerating, dude would cry over DnD. Also raise his voice and loudly argue his points, no matter how much they wouldn't work.

Then you are a very VERY lucky man. I've played with a variance of DMs from the awful to the mediocre, with the occasional good to great ones that keep me coming back to the table.

Hell, I once had a DM so bad that when we found a room full of monks whose job was to keep chanting or else the universe would end, we tried to kill them all to end the universe!

Granted, that was in high school when even the best of us was really only barely adequate. It's harder to get a really bad DM these days because to be truly wretched, you need to be inexperienced. And, sadly, there just aren't that many new people entering the hobby, so there aren't many chances for people to start off terrible and get better. These days most DMs have been running games for years and sheer experience lets them achieve at least a certain degree of competence.

So yay, our hobby is dying, but that means we're all really good at playing in the ruins!

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

rotinaj posted:

I'd go into details about my worst gaming experience where the DM ended up doing just that, but it'd be too much of a derail, I think.

You're in luck! There's a whole thread just for gaming experiences both good and bad!Take your derail over there and it won't even be a derail it'll be appropriate!

jng2058
Jul 17, 2010

We have the tools, we have the talent!





DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

You're in luck! There's a whole thread just for gaming experiences both good and bad!Take your derail over there and it won't even be a derail it'll be appropriate!

Maybe so, but as derails in THIS thread goes (as happens every time there's a long gap between comics) you should be happy to get some D&D reminiscing rather than, say, another Familicide debate, or worse, another alignment chart and subsequent sperging or something.

It's a derail, sure, but it's at least a NEW derail. And anyway, it'll vanish with the next comic, which should be any day now. I hope.

TampaTango
Apr 12, 2007

COMICS CRIMINAL
Seriously the derails suck.

I fear the power of worry is failing since he did so well on the kick starter.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Obligatory "Gee, I hope Rich is okay. :ohdear:"

How about this: How would you optimize each of the Order, without changing their strategies?

For example, V would make a hell of a Warmage, Roy'd be a drat good Swordsage of the Stone Dragon, and Durkon's a Cleric, so he can gently caress right off.

Cabbit
Jul 19, 2001

Is that everything you have?

Colon V posted:

Obligatory "Gee, I hope Rich is okay. :ohdear:"

How about this: How would you optimize each of the Order, without changing their strategies?

For example, V would make a hell of a Warmage, Roy'd be a drat good Swordsage of the Stone Dragon, and Durkon's a Cleric, so he can gently caress right off.

I don't think being a warmage would optimize V. She just needs to get some better evocations. Stuff like Crushing Grasp, Manyjaws, Great Thunderclap, etc. If she gets her hands on a copy of Complete Mage and the Spell Compendium, watch out.

NihilCredo
Jun 6, 2011

iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

One word: incantatrix.

Alas, Rich would have to decide whether to call V an 'incantatrix' or 'incantator' and that would break the gender ambiguity joke.

Zore
Sep 21, 2010
willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Colon V posted:

Obligatory "Gee, I hope Rich is okay. :ohdear:"

How about this: How would you optimize each of the Order, without changing their strategies?

For example, V would make a hell of a Warmage, Roy'd be a drat good Swordsage of the Stone Dragon, and Durkon's a Cleric, so he can gently caress right off.

I'd make Roy a Warblade, with a focus on White Raven and Iron Heart maneuvers. That way he gets to use his intelligence and propensity towards leadership as well as his iron will. Or make him a a pure Barbarian and make him an Ubercharger with Pounce maybe.

Make Haley a Rogue/Scout mix with Daring Outlaw, some way to consistently move 10 feet and full attack, a much better bow (enchanted with Splitting at the very least) and a way to sneak attack more (buy some Swordsage maneuvers/stances with feats, or magical items). The Archer Archetype is not well supported though, and to get around that you'd need to make her like a Cleric with Zen Archery or do some Soulbow trickery I think. Comedy option is that way you stack Hellfire Warlock with those classes that keep advancing its class features, with the one level dip in binder, so you can do 30d6 Eldritch Blasts all day every day.

Elan's actually probably fine as is I think, though he could utterly replace his prestige class with the feat Snowflake Wardance, do some crazy Inspire Courage stacking shenanigens, and discover his amazing Sonic Dragon ancestry so he could pick up Dragonfire Inspiration. Give him one of those crystal blades, or the lingering song feat, and every combat could give the party both +10/+11 to hit and damage and another +11d6 sonic damage with some pretty casual optimization. Keep him as pure Bard and rock face.

Uh, Durkon just needs to pick better spells and pick up Divine Metamagic so he can persist them for 24 hours and just keep doing what he's doing. Bonus points if he manages to become a Cheater of Mystara.

V- Incantatrix and any other prestige class because pure wizard gives no incentives not to presitge out every level you don't have to. Hell, start at level 3 with Specialist (Evocation) and Master Specialist (Evocation) and maybe throw some Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil in there or literally anything else V qualifies for. Warmages somehow manage to be worse at blasting than straight Wizards and anything that allows for more metamagic, especially free metamagic, is always amazing. Also, if you can change the banned school, ban evocation and keep Conjuration because Conjuration spells are actually better at blasting than Evocation spells. Also pick up Celerity and use it.

Belkar... um. gently caress it, make him a Tiger Claw Warblade or Swordsage with a dip in Barbarian for rage/pounce and give him the one feat that lets him get a slightly weaker animal companion so he can still have Mr. Scruffy. Hell, Mr.Scruffy will actually be stronger and might contribute to combat in that case because the feat gives you an animal companion that manages to be better than a Ranger's.

Zore fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Mar 28, 2012

rotinaj
Sep 5, 2008

Fun Shoe

Cabbit posted:

If she gets her hands on a copy of Complete Mage and the Spell Compendium, watch out.

Seriously, all any mage needs to absolutely ruin the DM's day every time is using Complete Mage and Spell Compendium.

Zore
Sep 21, 2010
willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

rotinaj posted:

Seriously, all any mage needs to absolutely ruin the DM's day every time is using Complete Mage and Spell Compendium.

Or, you know, the core rulebook. Spell compendium/Complete Mage only really gets you Celerity and Craft Contingency for really broken stuff. The worst spells are always things like glitterdust, grease, haste, Time Stop, polymorph, Shapechange, Contingency, Overland Flight, Ennervation, Charm Person, Dominate, Mindblank, Wind Wall, True Strike... etc. which are all Core spells.

Zore fucked around with this message at 03:58 on Mar 29, 2012

Nilbop
Jun 5, 2004

Looks like someone forgot his hardhat...
Grease? What can grease do other than provide lubrication for pratfalls and be the word?

Zore
Sep 21, 2010
willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Nilbop posted:

Grease? What can grease do other than provide lubrication for pratfalls and be the word?

Lock down anything without ranks in Tumble. So almost everything. Its an amazing crowd control spell and one of the most powerful level 1 spells ever printed.

Mystic Mongol
Jan 5, 2007

Your life's been thrown in disarray already--I wouldn't want you to feel pressured.


College Slice

Nilbop posted:

Grease? What can grease do other than provide lubrication for pratfalls and be the word?

It's a level one AoE control effect save or suck that lasts several rounds, or can be used to disarm people or ruin any escape route or disable many traps and devices.

Nilbop
Jun 5, 2004

Looks like someone forgot his hardhat...
That's completely stupid. So people will just fall over and over again like Tom chasing Jerry over ice?

Cabbit
Jul 19, 2001

Is that everything you have?

Zore posted:

Or, you know, the core rulebook. Spell compendium/Complete Mage only really gets you Celerity and Craft Contingency for really broken stuff. The worst spells are always things like glitterdust, grease, haste, Time Stop, polymorph, Shapechange, Contingency, Overland Flight, Ennervation, Charm Person, Dominate, Mindblank, Wind Wall, True Strike... etc. which are all Core spells.

I'm just saying, go read every spell in Spell Compendium and CM and tell me there's not some fun stuff in there.

I mean, hell, Stick alone is worth lugging SC to the table and it's a cantrip.

Nilbop posted:

That's completely stupid. So people will just fall over and over again like Tom chasing Jerry over ice?

If they don't have five ranks in balance, a good reflex save, or flight yeah. If they don't have the balance ranks, they're flat-footed too. Coincidentally, rogues have a lot of ranks in balance, good reflex saves, and love flat-footed opponents.

Edit: SC is actually even better if you're a non-Wizard. It's where they stuck all the awesome 24 hour duration ranger spells, for instance.

Cabbit fucked around with this message at 04:17 on Mar 29, 2012

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
Prestidigitation is still the best cantrip. Do anything, so long as you actually don't do anything? There's a lot of leeway there, and it's also handy for making your hands blaze with mystic fire when people give you lip about not believing you're really a mage.

Jimbone Tallshanks
Dec 16, 2005

You can't pull rank on murder.

Zore posted:

Elan's actually probably fine as is I think, though he could utterly replace his prestige class with the feat Snowflake Wardance, do some crazy Inspire Courage stacking shenanigens, and discover his amazing Sonic Dragon ancestry so he could pick up Dragonfire Inspiration. Give him one of those crystal blades, or the lingering song feat, and every combat could give the party both +10/+11 to hit and damage and another +11d6 sonic damage with some pretty casual optimization. Keep him as pure Bard and rock face.

Does any of that involve puppets? I'd track down a class that focused heavily on puppeteering, mystical or otherwise.

Zore
Sep 21, 2010
willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Jimbone Tallshanks posted:

Does any of that involve puppets? I'd track down a class that focused heavily on puppeteering, mystical or otherwise.

Unfortunately, for all the really weird an varied stuff you can do with 3.5 nobody ever wrote a good way to deal with puppets or puppetry.

Though since Elan is a Bard he could dump a ton of skill points into Perform (puppetry) and use that for his inspire courage!

Or become an Exemplar of Perform (puppetry), which would let him make a Perform check instead of a Diplomacy check to influence people.

V. Illych L.
Apr 11, 2008

ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

Isn't there a light telekinesis spell at like level 1? Mage hand or something?

I seem to remember reading it and noting that it wasn't technically stated not to be able to influence parts of people, so you could pop out peoples' eyes and poo poo with it

Factor_VIII
Feb 2, 2005

Les soldats se trouvent dans la vérité.

V. Illych L. posted:

Isn't there a light telekinesis spell at like level 1? Mage hand or something?

I seem to remember reading it and noting that it wasn't technically stated not to be able to influence parts of people, so you could pop out peoples' eyes and poo poo with it
It's level 0. D&D doesn't have positional damage though. You can't put someone's eyes out, slit their throat, or cut off their limbs. (Vorpal blades are an exception but it's effectively a killing rather than crippling attack.) It's a useful abstraction, especially since PCs would quickly become cripples without it. It's not much of a problem for NPCs since the PCs will be meeting new enemies in most combat encounters but PCs would quickly lose all their limbs and eyes.

Ashcans
Jan 2, 2006

Let's do the space-time warp again!

I don't know if you are thinking of Unseen Servant or Mage Hand, but neither of those can do that. Unseen Servant explicitly cannot perform any attacks of any kind, and Mage Hand can only target an 'unattended object'. Meaning that you can't even use it to pick pockets, much less pop eyeballs.

tokenbrownguy
Apr 1, 2010

Back when I played Living Greyhawk I had a bard with ranks in Perform (Puppets).

The first module we played had a magic puppet that could Tasha's Hideous Laughter and Suggestion 1/day. Good times had. LG is at its best when you're breaking the whatever lovely metaplot the writers had planned, and just loving around with puppets.

Anyways, what i'm saying is Banjo really needs to become magical.

Speedball
Apr 15, 2008

Question: can you light the grease on fire? Because if some enemy's slipping around on it...

Factor_VIII
Feb 2, 2005

Les soldats se trouvent dans la vérité.

Verr posted:

Back when I played Living Greyhawk I had a bard with ranks in Perform (Puppets).
I've heard that the LG modules were real meatgrinders with really high rates of PC attrition. Was that the case?

Ashcans
Jan 2, 2006

Let's do the space-time warp again!

Speedball posted:

Question: can you light the grease on fire? Because if some enemy's slipping around on it...

Not explicitly (Web, for instance, says that it will burn and cause damage to creatures in it) but you could probably get a DM to go for it.

crime fighting hog
Jun 29, 2006

I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out

Speedball posted:

Question: can you light the grease on fire? Because if some enemy's slipping around on it...

By the book, no. The killer combos back in the day were some form of entangle/web and then stinking cloud/cloudkill while the rest of the party just parked and unloaded arrows and darts at any poor SOB who made their saves.

I've played Baldur's Gate far too much...

Cabbit
Jul 19, 2001

Is that everything you have?

They did release a flammable version of Grease as a second level spell in, wait for it, Complete Mage.

greatn
Nov 15, 2006

by Lowtax
And the third level spell, grease lightning.

Nilbop
Jun 5, 2004

Looks like someone forgot his hardhat...
I might as well ask this here; I did a little bit of reading up on D&D lore back in the day mostly because I love a good bit of world-building, but never explored the game in any sense. Something that always seemed strange to me in a game that awkwardly imposed the alignment system on you was that you'd never seem to attack the good places. You know, the big ones. You could plunder the Nine Hells and snag King Devil's Ruby Rod but I never saw an option about raiding the gates of Heaven and taking down uh, whoever was king of Mount Celestia.

This may or may not be a cosmology that doesn't exist.

Anyway my question is is there even an option to do this, and how deep does that rabbit hill go? Like what do they let you do and what are the ramifications for it? Seems to me like sacking heaven would have a much greater impact than having a war in hell.

Ashenai
Oct 5, 2005

You taught me language;
and my profit on't
Is, I know how to curse.

Nilbop posted:

I might as well ask this here; I did a little bit of reading up on D&D lore back in the day mostly because I love a good bit of world-building, but never explored the game in any sense. Something that always seemed strange to me in a game that awkwardly imposed the alignment system on you was that you'd never seem to attack the good places. You know, the big ones. You could plunder the Nine Hells and snag King Devil's Ruby Rod but I never saw an option about raiding the gates of Heaven and taking down uh, whoever was king of Mount Celestia.

This may or may not be a cosmology that doesn't exist.

Anyway my question is is there even an option to do this, and how deep does that rabbit hill go? Like what do they let you do and what are the ramifications for it? Seems to me like sacking heaven would have a much greater impact than having a war in hell.

Almost all of the published adventures for D&D assume that the players are the heroes. You do occasionally get to encounter Solars, Deva, and Planetars (the D&D equivalents of angels,) and even fight them (although they are brutally powerful.)

I know for a fact that the old editions of D&D had actual stats for gods, both Good and Evil. A high-level party could gank them no problem. I think they moved away from this with the more recent editions, though.

"What do they let you do" and "what are the ramifications" aren't really good questions to ask, because it's really up to your DM. I don't think there's any specific canon for what happens if you slaughter Heironeous. Sounds like a fun, offbeat idea for a campaign, to be honest.

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crime fighting hog
Jun 29, 2006

I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out
People run evil campaigns all the time, but unless you have a good group it usually devolves into "I slit John's fighter's throat as he sleeps" and stuff like that.

I ran an evil campaign once that was just basically a flavor change of a normal campaign. Instead of demons, angels. Instead of cultists, priests of Pelor and so on, but we only played three sessions. An evil endgame would be world domination through gaining the means, and ransacking heaven and killing all the good gods would be pretty rad.

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