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Every Man Jack posted:Alright, I need to call on this thread for some help. I have a few friends in the Orlando area and have asked. I'll let you know if they have any advice!
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Mar 23, 2012 04:35
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Every Man Jack posted:Alright, I need to call on this thread for some help. Are you responsible for paying for unreserved rooms? If not then it shouldn't matter. You would over-reserve to make sure you have rooms.
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Mar 23, 2012 13:44
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My mom is sending out invitations to our engagement party, but I'm a little confused on how to handle some of the guests. I know you're not supposed to invite anyone who wouldn't be invited to the wedding, but two of my closer friends live with an acquaintance. Is it rude if I don't invite the third?
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Mar 24, 2012 19:31
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Emasculatrix posted:My mom is sending out invitations to our engagement party, but I'm a little confused on how to handle some of the guests. I know you're not supposed to invite anyone who wouldn't be invited to the wedding, but two of my closer friends live with an acquaintance. Is it rude if I don't invite the third? For the wedding, I've heard that you should invite your friends and the people they are dating/married to. If that doesn't apply (we're not talking about a poly triad here, are we?), then I wouldn't invite the third person. I do not know if the same rules apply for an engagement party, but if you don't want the third person there, I don't see why it would be rude. Question about name changes and legal documents: I would like to change my name. I am a community college instructor and teach during the summer, so I don't know how to go about changing my name to be sure that everything is legal for our honeymoon, which will probably be a cruise and I will need an updated passport. Timeline: May 20: Wedding June 27: Summer class begins. I'd honestly really like to have summer class start with my new name.  August 3: Summer class ends. August 5ish: We leave for honeymoon cruise. What is the best course of action to take? This is also complicated because we live in a one-horse Texas town that doesn't even have a driver's license machine; to get a new ID made, we have to wait about four weeks for it to get mailed from the state capitol. I would be very nervous that my new license wouldn't be in by the time we left for the honeymoon. A passport also takes about eight weeks to be made, so that's pushing our time-frame. How long will my name change paperwork be good for after the wedding? Can I travel under my maiden name and then complete the name change stuff when we get back from the honeymoon?
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Mar 26, 2012 00:46
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If you still have a valid passport in your maiden name, just book all of your flight & cruise in your maiden name. You can still start the name change process after the wedding, just don't worry about the passport until after the honeymoon. Anyone who leaves for their honeymoon right after the wedding has to book travel this way, since you can't get anything changed until after the wedding. You can change your name at any point after the wedding, there's no time limit.
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Mar 26, 2012 01:33
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I would just wait until after you come back to change it. If you're dead set on changing it, call and see how long it takes to change your name for your passport (turn around time)
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Mar 26, 2012 05:47
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Betazoid posted:June 27: Summer class begins. I'd honestly really like to have summer class start with my new name. Tell them your new name on the first day & put it on your syllabus with your Maiden name in the middle, so Betazoid Maiden Husbandname. They'll probably not learn your name anyway unless it's a small class, but this way they know what you want to be called (I teach too; it's very funny how many can not know your name halfway through the semester).
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Mar 26, 2012 13:41
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My friend has this issue. Her passport still has her maiden name, yet she changed it to her husband's (and all of her other docs reflect this.) When we drive across the border, she has a copy of her marriage certificate with her and we've never had a problem (this is with US/Canadian customs agents.) YMMV when travelling to other countries, so check with the passport office if you actually need to pay and go through the whole process again.
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Mar 26, 2012 14:23
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ChloroformSeduction posted:My friend has this issue. Her passport still has her maiden name, yet she changed it to her husband's (and all of her other docs reflect this.) When we drive across the border, she has a copy of her marriage certificate with her and we've never had a problem (this is with US/Canadian customs agents.) YMMV when travelling to other countries, so check with the passport office if you actually need to pay and go through the whole process again. Did you read this or just hear this? I think they issue a new passport for free if it's a name change due to marriage.
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Mar 26, 2012 15:15
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It's only free if your passport was issued within a certain amount of time before the marriage. I forget the time, but I think maybe it was three years? If your passport is older than that, you have to pay the full cost.
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Mar 26, 2012 20:29
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Sundae posted:It's only free if your passport was issued within a certain amount of time before the marriage. I forget the time, but I think maybe it was three years? If your passport is older than that, you have to pay the full cost. It's within the last year. So if I got my passport march 1. And I got married August 1. Then it's free. After a year, it's considered a renewal, $110. Fees: http://travel.state.gov/passport/fees/fees_837.html look under special for the different forms and costs. Name change requirements: http://travel.state.gov/passport/correcting/ChangeName/ChangeName_851.html
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Mar 26, 2012 22:38
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I have a question for JohnnyRnR. We are looking for rings at the moment, and while my fiance is picking THE ring on his own and I am excited to see what he picks, I 've noticed I really like emeralds while we were shopping for general ideas. The onl thing is I really like the darker shades, but the clearest gems never seem to come close to what I'm thinking of. Is it true that the better quality of emerald the brighter the green should be, or is that just a trend? I want to treat myself to something really nice when my house sale goes through, so putting in the groundwork now!
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Mar 26, 2012 23:40
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WeaselWeaz posted:Did you read this or just hear this? I think they issue a new passport for free if it's a name change due to marriage. They might, I don't know. We're Canadian, and our passports are 5 year ones so it's probably different. But we travel together to the States more or less regularly, and have never had a problem when they see the marriage license and passport. As far as how "official" it is, generally speaking, in my years of travel and working in import/export, US customs is usually pretty by the book and are more likely to have official answers for things, so this is probably SOP for them. Canadian customs is much more loosey-goosey, and your success with them seems to depend on their mood, the weather, Venus's position in relation to Saturn and other things, and they've always been happy with the marriage license/passport combination. She's travelled to Mexico, the Caribbean and the Middle East with these as well.
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Mar 27, 2012 04:48
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Thank you for all the passport advice. I think I'll just introduce myself on the syllabus as Mrs. Newname (Butt Wizard: our campus has only 1200 students and EVERYONE knows everyone by name). Then once we're back from the honeymoon I'll do the legal paperwork of changing the name and getting all the documents together. I'd be too nervous to have any of my names not matching while leaving the country.
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Mar 27, 2012 21:01
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Betazoid posted:Thank you for all the passport advice. I think I'll just introduce myself on the syllabus as Mrs. Newname (Butt Wizard: our campus has only 1200 students and EVERYONE knows everyone by name). Then once we're back from the honeymoon I'll do the legal paperwork of changing the name and getting all the documents together. I'd be too nervous to have any of my names not matching while leaving the country. Does your school email have your old last name on it? 'Cause that might confuse some students trying to email you. My school does [first initial][lastname]@school.edu and trying to email recently married faculty results in a lot of bounced or misdirected emails. You might want to make a new email address or make a note of telling them on the first day (or noting on the syllabus, or both) that your school email is your maiden name to clarify things. Just a thought.
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Mar 28, 2012 03:59
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Does your school email have your old last name on it? 'Cause that might confuse some students trying to email you. My school does [first initial][lastname]@school.edu and trying to email recently married faculty results in a lot of bounced or misdirected emails. You might want to make a new email address or make a note of telling them on the first day (or noting on the syllabus, or both) that your school email is your maiden name to clarify things. Just a thought. Yeah, my email address has my first initial.middle initial.maiden name. I think I can get them to change it in June, though. I took a class from a professor whose email was first initial.maiden name.FIRST married name, and she went by her SECOND married name in class. That was a little confusing, but we all figured it out. 
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Mar 28, 2012 05:54
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My school does maiden.first initial.middle initial @ school, and working for tech services, I know our school reroutes your maiden name for 6 months to your new last name. Same for recently graduated students, students switching to staff, and when we switched from one email client to another. So see if they can do something like that for you.
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Mar 28, 2012 16:10
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gogogiraffes posted:My school does maiden.first initial.middle initial @ school, and working for tech services, I know our school reroutes your maiden name for 6 months to your new last name. Same for recently graduated students, students switching to staff, and when we switched from one email client to another. Yeah, the company I was working for when I got married did the forwarding thing too. People emailed my maiden name email for ages before finally getting the hint and changing it to married name.
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Mar 28, 2012 16:19
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Shoe porn! I love these.... they're $30 less than my dress (which is totally expensive in terms of shoes, imo), but they're so PRETTY! http://www.etsy.com/listing/94927914/wreath-of-gold-bridal-ballet-flats  ninja edit: I love these because my dress doesn't reach the ground, and I can't walk in heels to save my life. I don't remember if I put these up or not, but here's some dress pictures, crappy cell phone pic style. Ignore my sunburn... it's God's way of telling me he hates gingers.   This is my reception dress... I'm wearing my mom's dress for the ceremony, but I wanted something without a train. You can barely make it out, but there's champagne beading and lace cascading down the sides. miseerin fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Mar 28, 2012 |
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Mar 28, 2012 19:49
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Kindly weigh in on this issue before one of us goes bridezilla/groomzilla: Fiance asserts that it is customary and necessary that the wedding party + ushers + photographers (a total of 14 in our case) travel together post-ceremony, possibly taking a detour to take some photos at various locations in the area prior to the reception (we have a fair bit of time to kill). To accommodate 14 people, he believes that a stretch Escalade is classy and (surprisingly) one of the more economical options for vehicles that size. He argues that as some in our wedding party are very tall, this would be the most roomy and comfortable option. I think it's ostentatious, and at $600+, an expense we could spare. I also don't recall the entire wedding party sticking/traveling together in most weddings I've attended, but what do I know? He says a party bus or other means of transportation for the whole party is typical, as are photos at places other than the ceremony and reception sites.
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Mar 29, 2012 04:09
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miseerin posted:
Sorry, I just drooled all over them. 
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Mar 29, 2012 04:12
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GauchoMatador posted:Kindly weigh in on this issue before one of us goes bridezilla/groomzilla: I may not be the best person to answer this as im hugely anti large wedding/party but the only time i've ever seen a party bus or escalade for a wedding party was on the "My big fat gypsy wedding" or what ever that show was on TLC.
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Mar 29, 2012 06:24
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GauchoMatador posted:Kindly weigh in on this issue before one of us goes bridezilla/groomzilla: If you can afford it and your fiance is really wanting to do it, then I would do it, but no, I don't believe it's customary. We took a lot of photos post-ceremony and pre-reception, but they were all at the same site where we got married.
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Mar 29, 2012 06:27
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GauchoMatador posted:Kindly weigh in on this issue before one of us goes bridezilla/groomzilla: My sister did this with a school bus. We went to a pretty local beach for pictures and then headed off to the reception site in the next town. It was nice since the church while pretty inside had no outdoor space for pictures, and it saved time vs. all driving separately.
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Mar 29, 2012 06:47
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GauchoMatador posted:Kindly weigh in on this issue before one of us goes bridezilla/groomzilla: You're getting a bad price, but it is common to at least have the bride, groom, bridesmaids, and groomsmen in a limo. The stretch Escalade is common too. Think about the practicality. Everyone is together getting hair and make-up done, and if anyone gets lost it messes up the wedding. It's safer to travel in one vehicle.
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Mar 29, 2012 13:09
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Pijeus posted:I have a question for JohnnyRnR. We are looking for rings at the moment, and while my fiance is picking THE ring on his own and I am excited to see what he picks, I 've noticed I really like emeralds while we were shopping for general ideas. Sorry for the late reply. I've been traveling. The good news is that you have exceptional taste in emeralds. The bad news is that a good eye is expensive. You're describing the two hardest things to find in emerald. 1) Deep rich color 2) Clean crystal. The color you're describing is a richer color that's very desirable and fairly expensive. Colombia is the typical place to find this color, but some of the Brazilian emeralds can have it, too. Emerald clarity is a little different than diamond or other gemstones. In emerald it's very common to have inclusions. The internal characteristics can really add to the beauty of the gemstone. There's even a fancy term for it: "jardin" which is the French word for garden. The idea being that an emerald with inclusions is as pleasant to look into as a lovely garden is to ride through. This is a two carat Colombian emerald that I recently set in a three stone ring with a pair of diamond trapezoids. The crystal is extremely clean for an emerald and you can see some internal inclusions, but since none of them are black (they're all clear inclusions) this is a much higher quality gem.  Just to give you an idea of the rarity of a perfectly clean emerald: This emerald will sell in the range of $2,500 per carat, but one the same size with no inclusions and a slightly darker color would sell for $25,000 per carat! A big difference!
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Mar 29, 2012 14:33
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Are people going to buy from my registry if I've picked out inexpensive items? I don't have expensive taste, so if a $10 product works as well as a $30 product, I tend to go cheaper. Looking at my registry, here's the breakdown: $40+ - 4 items $20-$40 - 20 items $10-$20 - 9 items Under $10 - 12 items I worry that people will see that we've registered for a few things that are $3.99 and wonder why we aren't at the store getting those cheap things ourselves. I just figure that it would be really nice to have a stainless steel pastry server, but I'm not necessarily going to run out and buy it myself. Am I way off base here? I looked at some wedding websites, and they recommend registering like so: 25% - under $50 50% - $50-$100 25% - over $100 However, I just really don't see things at the store that make sense to spend a fortune on. This isn't Top Chef. It's taco casserole night in a galley kitchen. Our expensive items: $350 stand mixer (no one's going to get me this) $50 monogrammed door mat $100 stainless steel 12-piece cookware $95 chef's knife
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Apr 1, 2012 20:25
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My bf and I got his coworker the KitchenAid off of their registry, and we weren't really close. So, you never know. Some people (like us) really like going all out for special occasions like weddings, so having a few things that you really like but are a bit expensive might just be a good idea for you. Otherwise, it's your wedding and your registry, put on it what you want. If I saw a registry with a bunch of cheap items, I'd probably pick a central theme and buy a few different things.
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Apr 1, 2012 20:27
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I really like the cheap stuff as gift toppers tied into the bow. Like I got my step-sister some nice cast-iron pots and tied a wooden spoon on top, it was super cute. I think a variety of prices is good, people can get your more than one gift. Usually they're looking to spend a certain dollar amount on you, so if a $5 drill bit gets them to an even $40 that's perfect, just makes it easier on them and more stuff for you!
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Apr 1, 2012 21:14
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I would go for a few reach items just in case someone wants to spend a little more on something. I don't know why people want to make a fuss over this but I actually had a few people ask if they could buy something special, that they didn't want just to buy knives or a blender. Seriously? Should I have put something for $800 on the list or can we just do cash or what? Miniature rant aside the high ball items I had were a stand mixer, nice dinner plate set ($200), a lot of individual knives which were about $100 each, All Clad pots/pans and tool set and maybe a few other items I'm forgetting. The rest were mostly in the $20 to $100 range. If you're not REALLY into cooking then you probably don't want $800 in knives but surely you can think of something (hint: Amazon registry: new TV).
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Apr 2, 2012 05:02
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This is the one time you will ever have in your life to get people to buy you tons of things you need for your home. I'm not saying you should try to fleece your guests, but put up things you want. If you register at Macy*s or Crate And Barrel remember that their completion discount includes furniture too. There's the slight chance someone buys you a new sofa, but at least you can get the discount after the wedding.
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Apr 2, 2012 13:55
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GauchoMatador posted:Kindly weigh in on this issue before one of us goes bridezilla/groomzilla: We rented a trolley for transit between wedding and reception. We also drove about a half hour drive to get to where we wanted photos taken in between. It is completely ostentatious and ridiculous, but it can be a lot of fun. It may be a bit of a necessity if you want lots of photos taken. We got dropped off in one location, then just walked the 3-4 blocks to the next, and getting honked at by cars the entire way was pretty fun. Also it was a nice opportunity to have some fun with the people we cared most about at the wedding. At my reception anyway, I was being pulled in a lot of different directions; having time to have fun with the wedding party was good.On the other hand, if you really don't want any photos off-site(s), and there's plenty of time between the two events, I don't think it would be absurd to skip it. That would mean there's plenty of time for people to get themselves to the reception.
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Apr 2, 2012 15:07
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Distended Bowel posted:Yeah, weddings are definitely not cheap. I would caution any couple, specifically those who are paying for it themselves, to really take a look at what is most important and "cut the fat", if you will. If I ever get engaged again, I will never, ever ,ever go through planning a big wedding again. It was horrible, stressful, and zero fun. I'd rather go to Hawaii or Vegas instead! You know, this is what every single freaking girl I know says. But then they go have their princess-y wedding anyway and drop enough money for a 20% down payment on a $150,000 home. And then, every single one of these girls does just what you are doing, complains about it afterward and warns everyone else off. What the gently caress is wrong with our culture. Note: I am married and my wife was reasonable enough to agree to have a small informal beach wedding with immediate family only and 2 groomsmen and 2 bridesmaids. After the informal beach wedding we went to a super nice restaraunt and had fun times with good food and family. To this day we still think back on how much fun we had and how glad we are to have done it that way. Protip for anyone getting married soon: don't give in when people want to live vicariously through your gigantic Bridezilla Wedding.
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Apr 2, 2012 15:53
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To be fair, my wedding has 175 invited guests (of which at least 60 we know aren't coming), and we only spent 8k on the venue (which included a seperate ceremony room, bridal lounge, linens, center pieces, open bar, and the wedding cake, and only 3k on the rest of the vendors (bridal party clothing, favors, invitations, photographer, dj, etc). Yes, $11,000 is a lot, but for everything that we got out of it, it's a gorgeous wedding, a HUGE gorgeous wedding, and we were able to find really nice deals through friends, local vendors, and online deals. And our registry is donations for our honeymoon, so essentially, that is already paid for. You don't have to "trim the fat" in terms of sacrifice. You just have to adapt... for example, the vendors listed on theknot.com for an onsite hair and makeup person runs on average $120-180 PER PERSON. A local spa and salon does $35 air brush makeup and $45 formal hair. Not only that, but my friend's mom is a stylist and will be doing my bridal party's hair and makeup. For free. So I saved hundreds of dollars, but am still giving them the luxury of someone doing their hair and makeup for them. My friend is a DJ, and he gave me a sick deal, basically 80% off his regular price. The photographer is a friend of a friend, and although he's not giving us any really substantial discount (we aren't expecting him to), he's giving us a really nice custom package for just under $1000. Also, Etsy weddings can be the best weddings, if you find the right people to make your decor. The Knot is good in terms of organization, but I don't touch their vendors section.
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Apr 2, 2012 16:16
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Hey everyone, I've been following this thread for quite awhile, at least since I got engaged in 2010. Me and my fiancee were a long-distance couple, but last year I moved across the country to live with him. We originally planned to get married after I finished school, but we've been talking about it and want to get married in the next few months. The problem is our families are on opposite sides of the US, and we don't really want to pay for or organize a big wedding. We're in Utah right now so we've talked about going to Vegas to elope, but we've also talked about finding a scenic spot for a private ceremony, or just going to a justice of the peace and getting it over with. So if anyone has some advice or stories about elopement, please share.
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Apr 2, 2012 19:41
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I like the idea of a romantic elopement, my fiance does not. So if you're in the same boat (none of my family aside from my dad lives in NJ, they're all in Seattle and FL), I sat at a beachside bar in Mexico last Christmas to witness a small, intimate destination wedding. It was maybe 15 people. Why not look into one of those and having your honeymoon there as well? "Destination wedding" sounds a lot better to traditional parents than "eloping". And I was surprised to find that a lot of my close friends and family would have had no issue flying to Scotland (where I wanted it) if we did something like that.
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Apr 2, 2012 19:52
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The main reason we're considering elopement is money. We can't afford a big wedding, and we can't afford to fly family to one location for the event (ex: His is in UT/ID Mines are in MA/Barbados). Not only that, but we don't feel it's fair to put a monetary strain on our families when we know that they would make every effort they could to be at the ceremony, which could leave some missing out and feeling left out when we want to avoid that. We want it to be as 'fair' as possible, and the only solution seems to be to elope, and announce it later to everyone. We're open to alternatives of course, but I'm most interested in other goon's experiences with elopement.
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Apr 2, 2012 20:20
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ZygomaticusMajor posted:The main reason we're considering elopement is money. We can't afford a big wedding, and we can't afford to fly family to one location for the event (ex: His is in UT/ID Mines are in MA/Barbados). Not only that, but we don't feel it's fair to put a monetary strain on our families when we know that they would make every effort they could to be at the ceremony, which could leave some missing out and feeling left out when we want to avoid that. We want it to be as 'fair' as possible, and the only solution seems to be to elope, and announce it later to everyone. We're open to alternatives of course, but I'm most interested in other goon's experiences with elopement. . Let me know if you have any specific questions.
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Apr 3, 2012 03:27
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Guys, I am freaking the gently caress out. My family has spent $7600 so far on my wedding, which was supposed to be May 20, and my fiance (who is a federal agent) just got a job offer in the city that we want to live in. He's supposed to EOD on May 9. We are waiting to hear back from the agent about possibly pushing back his EOD date until May 22 or so, but we don't know if that's possible. I know it's just money, but once he EODs, he might not be able to come back to our city for the wedding. Invitations are out, vendors are secured, and deposits are paid, and sometimes more than deposits... I had the thought "whelp, we aren't going to cancel it, so let's just pay ahead so we don't get freaked out by the bills!" Now I don't know if that's refundable or not. I woke up at 3:30 AM worrying, it's now almost 6, and I just can't sleep for fear of what we're going to do if we have to call it off. His parents have already bought intercontinental plane tickets and family is planning to travel from all over the country.
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Apr 3, 2012 11:41
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Possibly a stupid question, but why couldn't you two go there, then travel back to [current city] for the wedding?
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Apr 3, 2012 14:14
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