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Vargo posted:You just don't get it, do you? Michael Shannon was the villain in Kangaroo Jack. Huh.
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Mar 20, 2012 07:05
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Blind men walking into danger is a joke at LEAST as old as the Edo period. Of course nobody is seeking enlightenment by watching Eddie Murphy movies. Okay, I HOPE nobody is.
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Mar 21, 2012 14:06
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As a struggling businessman, I have internalized the lessons offered by Imagine That, and am now swimming in tens of dollars.
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Mar 21, 2012 14:38
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As an Intergalactic Space Explorer, I've utilized the lessons learned in Pluto Nash and did not watch Pluto Nash.
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Mar 21, 2012 22:20
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That's what that movie was about? Well poo poo...
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Mar 21, 2012 23:13
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We are all just dust, wafting across the surface of a Starship Dave. Waiting for truth, and fall-down jokes.
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Mar 22, 2012 01:32
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Vargo posted:Feedback here is really appreciated, especially for me, as the new guy. Just so you guys know, I base all my movie-going on your reviews. They haven't disappointed me yet at all. I really like how you guys often say that the most important thing for a movie to be is entertaining. This way, you guys aren't at all stuffy and lame for thinking that all Hollywood action movies are stupid and a waste of time. In the movie critic world, this is refreshing.
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Mar 23, 2012 17:58
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From the subtitle of this week's this week's Current Releases: "I'm just so tired of all these Hunger Games." Orb Crabmelt fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Mar 25, 2012 |
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Mar 25, 2012 15:40
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I pretty much agree with the Hunger Games review, but I was there so my niece could see it and she thought it was super-cool. I was legitimately shocked by how much violence that movie had in it, though. I guess they kept obscenities minimal, which made it A-OKAY!  I knew nothing about the film before we saw it.
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Mar 25, 2012 17:20
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GANDHITRON posted:From the subtitle of this week's this week's Current Releases: I was really glad with the Hunger Games review. I feel that what was said about the wasted opportunity with the chance to develop further on the riot in the 11th district (i think that was it) was exactly what I was thinking as I watched it. I remember thinking "Aw man this is going to be awesome!" and was excited that they would try to take down the system and get the games cancelled or something but then it just ended and the bad guys (except for the games organizer)won. I suppose that problem was caused more though by their faith to the source material. Had they been gutsier, they could have taken that angle and made a much cooler movie. Then again, that would take it away from the teenage market which the review said they were aiming for. Either way, I had fun watching the movie but felt that it could have gone further with that one part.
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Mar 26, 2012 19:58
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ARACHTION posted:I was really glad with the Hunger Games review. I'll second this. Clumsy's reviews are usually best when he's carefully explaining all the flaws in something that most critics are letting skate by.
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Mar 29, 2012 02:46
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Here we go. A little on the late side, but we got there in the end.
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Apr 1, 2012 22:06
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I've gone from checking this column when there's a movie I'm interested in coming out, usually flipping through the rest of the article while I'm there; to binging the archives and invariably checking out each new week. I also rarely parse bylines on SA articles, but your voices are unique enough that after a few lines I go "Of course this is Professor Clumsy" or whomever. Congrats on making a dry review column worth checking out week to week.
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Apr 1, 2012 22:52
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The minority reports were hilarious this week.
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Apr 2, 2012 04:23
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So this abortion baby that miraculously survived... how did she survive? I mean.. i'm not an expert on these things but going "Uh so yeah the abortion thing didn't work so we decided not to try again, have fun with your crippled child" or .. I just ... how did the baby survive? I need to know this.
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Apr 2, 2012 08:51
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Affi posted:So this abortion baby that miraculously survived... how did she survive? I mean.. i'm not an expert on these things but going "Uh so yeah the abortion thing didn't work so we decided not to try again, have fun with your crippled child" It was God's will and his love and some other stuff about God.
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Apr 2, 2012 16:10
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Affi posted:So this abortion baby that miraculously survived... how did she survive? I mean.. i'm not an expert on these things but going "Uh so yeah the abortion thing didn't work so we decided not to try again, have fun with your crippled child" They were supposed to be twins, and the procedure only turned the brother into Quasimodo before his death so that sis could be super pretty and live out her Christian passive aggressive Nicholas Sparks perfection forever and ever.
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Apr 2, 2012 18:07
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Now I want to see Mirror Mirror learning Ronald Lee from Pit Poss is in it.
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Apr 2, 2012 20:10
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Danzou posted:I've gone from checking this column when there's a movie I'm interested in coming out, usually flipping through the rest of the article while I'm there; to binging the archives and invariably checking out each new week. Thanks. That really means a lot.
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Apr 3, 2012 00:30
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Sheldrake posted:They were supposed to be twins, and the procedure only turned the brother into Quasimodo before his death so that sis could be super pretty and live out her Christian passive aggressive Nicholas Sparks perfection forever and ever. Yeah, this. I didn't mention it in my review, but basically this happens, and it kinda defeats the whole purpose of the movie. Like, sure, a baby can survive an abortion, it happens on occasion, but the more out-there you make the situation, the less relatable it becomes. Honestly, what are the odds of the failed abortion being due to a twin that no one knew about taking the brunt of the hit from the incompetent doctor, triggering a premature labor that one kid survives? It's a staistical improbability, at best. Danzou posted:I've gone from checking this column when there's a movie I'm interested in coming out, usually flipping through the rest of the article while I'm there; to binging the archives and invariably checking out each new week. This is the kind of thing that makes us happy to do what we do.
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Apr 3, 2012 03:05
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Vargo posted:Yeah, this. I didn't mention it in my review, but basically this happens, and it kinda defeats the whole purpose of the movie. Like, sure, a baby can survive an abortion, it happens on occasion, but the more out-there you make the situation, the less relatable it becomes. Honestly, what are the odds of the failed abortion being due to a twin that no one knew about taking the brunt of the hit from the incompetent doctor, triggering a premature labor that one kid survives? It's a staistical improbability, at best. October Baby discussion? Why not. Well, I actually kind of liked that since it implicates October Baby's parents who were on the verge of admitting that it was either keeping that baby alive or being able to pay for medical school, and they went with the latter. Which is loving vicious on some level, but fits with the stated message of 'forgiving the sinner, not the sin', even if their sin is fairly glossed over. As if it's more okay since the kid was deformed anyway.
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Apr 3, 2012 06:00
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We are not giving spoiler tags for October loving Baby, are we? Anyway, that led to one of the more interesting parts of the movie for me. When they're at the graveyard and John Schneider says he's learning to trust God again. THAT should have been the crux of your movie. A man losing his faith in God and learning to trust him again is a thousand times more inspirational than a spoiled brat whining all over the place. Why don't Christian movies do more of that?
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Apr 3, 2012 07:01
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Vargo posted:We are not giving spoiler tags for October loving Baby, are we? I'm not exactly an expert or anything, but it seems to me that the recent wave of Christian movies that have come out are aimed at a younger audience of teenagers to young adults. Losing one's faith only to come back around seems like something aimed at an older audience.
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Apr 3, 2012 16:21
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Vargo posted:A man losing his faith in God and learning to trust him again is a thousand times more inspirational than a spoiled brat whining all over the place. Why don't Christian movies do more of that? I think that a lot of Christian filmmakers don't emphasize with people who question their faith-- as if that's something that makes them 'lesser' since they're, you know, human and have doubts. That being said, one movie with that involves questioning his faith and coming out a better person that I kind of liked was What If? with Kevin Sorbo. (Yes, I know.) It's pretty much a ripoff of The Family Man, only he becomes a preacher, too, and it's about him coming to terms with how he fell out with God and how to make things right.
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Apr 3, 2012 17:21
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Sheldrake posted:They were supposed to be twins, and the procedure only turned the brother into Quasimodo before his death so that sis could be super pretty and live out her Christian passive aggressive Nicholas Sparks perfection forever and ever. That's completely loving retarded, and completely ignores the question of why the birth mother would have the abortion that late in the pregnancy anyway.
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Apr 3, 2012 23:49
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Sheldrake posted:I think that a lot of Christian filmmakers don't emphasize with people who question their faith-- as if that's something that makes them 'lesser' since they're, you know, human and have doubts. I don't think it's that they're lesser Christians due to doubt, it's just that someone who goes into Christian movie making isn't the type of person to have ever experienced such a thing. Aside from the outlier who might have come to Jesus after a life of sin, or had their life wrecked in a way to make them question their faith. Most of them probably grew up in church, everyone they know is in church, and they were saved when they were kids. Or I could have a very hazy view of who goes into Christian Film Making.
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Apr 4, 2012 04:27
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Gyges posted:I don't think it's that they're lesser Christians due to doubt, it's just that someone who goes into Christian movie making isn't the type of person to have ever experienced such a thing. Aside from the outlier who might have come to Jesus after a life of sin, or had their life wrecked in a way to make them question their faith. Most of them probably grew up in church, everyone they know is in church, and they were saved when they were kids. This is part of my problem with this genre. It's uninteresting filmmaking, producing uninteresting films for uninteresting people.
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Apr 4, 2012 07:08
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Christian filmmaking is the definition of preaching to the choir. The only people truly interested in films like October Baby are people who need absolutely no convincing to come around to that particular point of view, which is weird, because that's what a lot of these films are created to do. It's an echo chamber that doesn't seem to get nearly enough constructive criticism (or rather ignores it).
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Apr 4, 2012 14:49
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Jay Dub posted:Christian filmmaking is the definition of preaching to the choir. Because they have the perfect defense! "You just don't like it because it's Christian!" "Well... yeah." That said, we've gotten loving lazy about criticizing these films. The AV Club review is barely three paragraphs, and at least half of those sentences are dedicated to plot details and introduction. Hell, I only count really one sentence of legit criticism with evidence from the film.
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Apr 5, 2012 01:40
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Vargo posted:Because they have the perfect defense! "You just don't like it because it's Christian!" Wait, so she's had seizures and hip surgeries all her life and no one felt like telling her why? Misc. health problems are one thing, but drat.
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Apr 5, 2012 03:45
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Vargo posted:Because they have the perfect defense! "You just don't like it because it's Christian!" That's the thing, though. I don't begrudge Suing the Devil being a Christian film, I simply hate it because it's a poorly-conceived story that treats its audience like idiots. Granted, you could argue that those two go hand in hand, but there are plenty ways to make that story work, and backpedaling to label the film a comedy after the fact (which they actually did) isn't the way to do it.
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Apr 5, 2012 13:21
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As someone who grew up in a household that thought all Christian media was great, and all "secular" media was not, I can say that JayDub is 100% correct about the films preaching to the choir. When Left Behind came out, they asked people to pledge to see it in theaters when it came out limited. Mind you, it came out on VHS before it ever reached theaters, but, they had a website that was like "Spread the word of God. Take your friends to see Left Behind." Left Behind is a terrible loving movie. The sequel is only slightly less bad. They even do this to main stream movies that have some base connection to the church, like with The Passion of the Christ* My church rented out two theaters of the movie for three nights in a row, and barely even made their money back on the venture. Some churches did the same thing with the first Narnia movie. It's baffling. They preach that they are trying to spread the word of god, but the only people that come are church-goers in the first place. *I used to do video editing for my church, and they kept asking me to use clips from Passion of the Christ. Eventually I said no. I had to say "The movie is fine for what it is, but you people are worshiping it as much as you are the subject matter. It's a movie, made by a man who made it, not because he felt some debt to his religion, but because he knew churches like this would spend boatloads of cash on it." That was shortly before I ended up leaving the church because gently caress organized religion.
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Apr 5, 2012 16:21
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TheBigBudgetSequel posted:Left Behind is a terrible loving movie. The sequel is only slightly less bad. Somehow, I question a sequel to a movie about the Rapture more than I question a sequel to Weekend at Bernie's. I mean, logically, I can see the sequel to Left Behind more, because it could be gritty and detail life after the end, but can't see one with two dudes using a dead guy's corpse for an extended period of time. Yet Weekend at Bernie's 2 was pretty good and I imagine Left Behind 2 really sucked.
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Apr 5, 2012 17:40
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Well, to be fair, left behind is all about two dudes using a dead guy's corpse for an extended period of time. It's just that the dead guy is Jesus and there's a whole lot less wacky party hijinks.
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Apr 6, 2012 16:01
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In Thomas Kinkade's memory, here's the review I wrote of Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage.
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Apr 7, 2012 08:29
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And there's yet another completely random thread in which I learn of a celebrity death. I am not good at news 
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Apr 7, 2012 09:43
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I just caught up on the last few weeks of reviews and wanted to chime in that you guys are doing a great job. The Hunger Games review captured my thoughts exactly. A lot of people I saw it with liked it a lot and were surprised when I was pretty "meh" about it and you hit all my complaints. Keep up the good work.
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Apr 7, 2012 14:56
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Vargo posted:In Thomas Kinkade's memory, here's the review I wrote of Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage. I thought he was older than 54 when I heard about it.
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Apr 7, 2012 18:04
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Nucular Carmul posted:And there's yet another completely random thread in which I learn of a celebrity death. I am not good at news To be honest, until the movie came out I had always just assumed he was already dead. Given the general way in which artists become famous, and the style of his art, I assumed he had to already be dead. I mean, how does that guy become a famous artist while alive when so much better artists die in penniless obscurity? Plus, how would a guy still alive paint the good old days as seen through my 100+ year old great grandmother's rose colored glasses?
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Apr 7, 2012 21:37
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Wasn't planning on seeing American Reunion but your review has sold me on it!
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Apr 8, 2012 12:56
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