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He said that the ending would be "bittersweet" though, so I figure they'll pull it out in the end.
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Apr 10, 2012 21:10
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whowhatwhere posted:He said that the ending would be "bittersweet" though, so I figure they'll pull it out in the end. Yeah, I have a feeling some bastards are still going to be alive and in power and most of our favorite characters will be dead. Then we'll debate for another 20 years on why those bastards were actually a good fit to rule and the heroes were too weak to win in the end.
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Apr 10, 2012 21:17
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bengraven posted:Yeah, I have a feeling some bastards are still going to be alive and in power and most of our favorite characters will be dead. Ramsay will sit on the Iron Throne.
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Apr 10, 2012 21:19
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Thanks to this thread, 'absolute fucker' is now one of my favoured terms of endearment!
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Apr 10, 2012 21:20
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In no particular order these are my expectations vs hopes: Expectations: Jon comes back as rear end in a top hat Asshair or whatever. Stannis karks it and Melisandre realizes it was jon blah blah blah. Hopes: Please god let him die a final time in an identical caesar execution preferably with the same exact assailants, and super preferably have the hit squad waiting in hiding, knives in hand for mel to resurrect him so they can stab him to death immediately after he's back to life. (technically counts as +10 baby killing points) Expectations: Bran stays plugged into the Sap Matrix until he gains the requisite levels in eldric shamanism to cast some epic endgame spells that will come into play later. Instrumental in pulling off some last minute hail mary gambit against the Others. Hopes: After the climatic battle, dies in a shocking fit of irony when Hodor breaks his routine and says "the things I do for HODOR" and chucks bran's rear end off the top of the Wall. Expectations: Dany finally gets her rear end to westeros with a cabal of whatever major and minor characters are left surviving the oncoming Dance with Dragons that was not fully included in A Dance with Dragons. Does whatever. Hopes: All the bullshit makes her end up even crazier than her father, but this time she has 3 dragons so basically she burns the gently caress out of any and all subplots that are actually interesting and nobody can do poo poo. Then she marries Tyrion and calls him ~Daario~ on their wedding night and he ends up killing himself because the sensation of having actual empathy for his sister is too much. Expectations: Arya finishes ninja grad school and will be sent to kill any in the list of (jon/dany/tyrion/bran). This creates tension because will she do it or will she remember her roots?  . Probably kills someone important, loving up plans to stop the Others, and then dies.Hopes: She wises up and stays in the free cities for the rest of the books and has no part in any of the plot because that is literally the best place to be anywhere in the GURM-verse. Bhaal fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Apr 10, 2012 |
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Apr 10, 2012 21:37
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Factor_VIII posted:Ned, Robb, Jon: Lawful Stupid. You aren't done yet! Arya: Chaotic Sociopathic Cersei: Stupid Evil Jaime: Lawful Sort-of-transitions-between-good-and-evil Euron: Lawful Nuncle Sam: Pink Mast Good Tyrion: Stupid Goon Dany: Stupid Stupid
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Apr 10, 2012 21:53
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Bhaal posted:Expectations: Arya finishes ninja grad school and will be sent to kill any in the list of (jon/dany/tyrion/bran). This creates tension because will she do it or will she remember her roots?
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Apr 10, 2012 22:02
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Factor_VIII posted:From what I've gathered Faceless Men aren't supposed to kill people they know when they're on the clock, so I don't see how she could be assigned to kill someone from her past. Unless GRRM has Arya pretend she doesn't know one of her relatives, which would be a pretty boneheaded way of trying to build tension. But she is no longer Arya of house Stark.. She is supposedly a new person now right?
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Apr 10, 2012 22:07
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TrickyTrev posted:But she is no longer Arya of house Stark.. She is supposedly a new person now right?
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Apr 10, 2012 22:20
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In a shocking twist she's asked to kill Arya Stark...LOOK OUT JEYNE!
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Apr 10, 2012 22:26
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Intel&Sebastian posted:In a shocking twist she's asked to kill Arya Stark...LOOK OUT JEYNE!
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Apr 10, 2012 22:29
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The show was officially renewed for a third season today 
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Apr 10, 2012 22:45
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Bhaal posted:what I expect gurm to write vs. my fanfiction As much as I criticize and make fun of gurm for becoming a lovely author, I honest-to-god don't think any of our own little hopes for what happens are better than what he will write. What I'm saying is, you can be a food critic without being a chef or movie critic without being a director. All these goon fantasies of what they want to happen in the series are sounding worse than the last two boring-as-gently caress books.
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Apr 10, 2012 22:45
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My main hope is that in the next book all of the main characters end up on the same continent and have forward momentum in their stories. I could live with almost any story (Dany + Jon taking over Westeros by force, Westeros breaking up into city-states again, the Iron Bank entering as the new Big Bad to unite the country under Cersei or Stannis or Victarion, the White Walkers laying waste to the North during a long and brutal winter, etc) as long as all of the storylines actually converge and move in directions that are not away from each other. Please, GRRM. It's all I ask.
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Apr 10, 2012 23:02
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Sophia posted:My main hope is that in the next book all of the main characters end up on the same continent and have forward momentum in their stories. I could live with almost any story (Dany + Jon taking over Westeros by force, Westeros breaking up into city-states again, the Iron Bank entering as the new Big Bad to unite the country under Cersei or Stannis or Victarion, the White Walkers laying waste to the North during a long and brutal winter, etc) as long as all of the storylines actually converge and move in directions that are not away from each other. Please, GRRM. It's all I ask. Oh no I totally agree with the basic and reasonable notion of poo poo NEEDS TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN. I mean when you're being way too specific about what you want, it's probably not going to be that much better than what our lovable shitdick actually wrote.
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Apr 10, 2012 23:11
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Oh, that's true. "Dream small" is my motto. Though I would kill to be able to edit these books.
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Apr 10, 2012 23:16
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Since GRRM has so many ongoing plot threads with no resolution in sight (and seems incapable of resisting the temptation to add more) and has said he'd write two more books to finish the series, the obvious answer would be for him to release a decade from now a 1800 page book called Winds Of Winter I followed eventually by WoWII etc., thus enabling him to stick to the letter of what he said without ever finishing the series or offering any sort of resolution.Sophia posted:Though I would kill to be able to edit these books.
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Apr 10, 2012 23:18
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If I were an editor I'd insist any manuscripts or proposals for epic fantasy series be accompanied by an outline for the entire series. I'd be open to changing it, but I'd insist that there always be an outline and the author pay as much attention to it as he does lovingly crafting new and ever more humiliating sexual abuse scenarios for 9-16 year old girls.
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Apr 10, 2012 23:18
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Contra Calculus posted:As much as I criticize and make fun of gurm for becoming a lovely author, I honest-to-god don't think any of our own little hopes for what happens are better than what he will write. Oh yeah? "Dany dying in a Robb-esque fashion" Come at me, brother of the nights watch
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Apr 10, 2012 23:20
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Intel&Sebastian posted:Oh yeah?
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Apr 10, 2012 23:21
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I didn't notice it before reading this thread but holy gently caress there ARE a lot of food descriptions in these books, I'm re-reading CoK and every chapter is filled with huge walls of text describing hundreds of foods.
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Apr 10, 2012 23:38
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Sophia posted:Oh, that's true. "Dream small" is my motto. But that would require you to be in contact with GRRM 
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Apr 10, 2012 23:39
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El Hefe posted:I didn't notice it before reading this thread but holy gently caress there ARE a lot of food descriptions in these books, I'm re-reading CoK and every chapter is filled with huge walls of text describing hundreds of foods. whowhatwhere posted:But that would require you to be in contact with GRRM
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Apr 10, 2012 23:42
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whowhatwhere posted:But that would require you to be in contact with GRRM You'd fare pretty well if you're not female/underage.
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Apr 10, 2012 23:43
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Mel revives Jon, Jon kills Roose, but Ramsay escapes, and kills Stannis. The Iron Bank hires Arya to kill Jon, because they believe he killed Stannis who was their best bet on getting Westeros to pay out. Arya can't do it, and Jaqen (Ramsay imposoring) kills both. Davos is killed by Rickon who has gone feral and permanently wargs into Shaggydog. Littlefinger rapes Sansa and she poisons him. The Vale lords execute her. Dorne sides with baby Aegon/Connington. Victarion prompts Dany to finally go to Westeros after she kills him and realizes Westeros is still a huge threat to her. Tyrion dies on Victarion's ship. Dany and crew arrive and torch Dragonstone, using it as the base camp, just as Aegon the Conqueror did. Zombie Cat kills some Freys. Dorne/Aegon side with Dany. They prepare to go to Kings Landing and Dany scorches it, when... The Wights poor over the wall. The north is getting wrecked and Dany gets word. She makes a bad speech about "these are her people now" and takes the Dragons to the north. Zombie Cat and co. are killed by wights. Bran does magic tree crap and aids Dany by warging into poo poo and attacking the Wights. The Maesters, trying to rub out magic, convince the other lands to smash Dany's allies so she will be alone. Aegon dies when his dragon tosses him. He's not a Targaryen. The church dudes die fighting the wights. Sam and Sarella Sand tells Dany of the maester's plot. She smokes the citadel. Dany then turns to King's Landing and is killed in the attack by a million-to-one shot by an archer and falls from her dragon. The riderless dragons go shithouse on everybody. There is no ruler in King's Landing, the wall is gone. Magic tree Bran is the only main character alive. The Vale, Lannisport, Iron Islands, Dorne, Riverlands, Highgarden, and Storm's End are now separate kingdoms. The Maesters are dead and magic flourishes as the wild dragons breed. And then Jaime bones Brienne.
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Apr 10, 2012 23:48
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Factor_VIII posted:GRRM takes the "write about what you love" credo to heart. The endless descriptions of food and underage sex are proof of that. Seriously though, lamprey pies GRRM? that sounds like the most disgusting thing ever. 
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Apr 10, 2012 23:48
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Urdnot Fire posted:You'd fare pretty well if you're not female/underage. Or a salty snack
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Apr 10, 2012 23:55
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El Hefe posted:Seriously though, lamprey pies GRRM? that sounds like the most disgusting thing ever.
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Apr 10, 2012 23:55
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El Hefe posted:Seriously though, lamprey pies GRRM? that sounds like the most disgusting thing ever. Yeah, well, they existed back then, so it's not like he's pulling it out of his prodigious rear end.
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Apr 11, 2012 00:00
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Tony Danza Claus posted:And then Jaime bones Brienne.
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Apr 11, 2012 00:11
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I hope it's even more vivid than what I've imagined.
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Apr 11, 2012 00:15
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mind the walrus posted:I hope it's even more vivid than what I've imagined. Fantasizing about Brienne getting golden fisted by Jaime is the only way I can get off anymore.
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Apr 11, 2012 00:16
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The series will end with the entire continent (world?) in the middle of winter and everything is looking pretty terrible as lots of people die and bad poo poo happens. The final chapter will be tree-Bran having a dream of the spring that will eventually come after the winter is over and the bad guys are killed and he'll see some of the characters doing there thing while most of them have died or are shown to have died in his dream, but the implication is that things will get so much worse before they get better but at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hence the title of the last book.
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Apr 11, 2012 00:18
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Tony Danza Claus posted:Sounds pretty good 
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Apr 11, 2012 00:19
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Couldn't think of a good Gold and Sapphires joke, so: Tarthan Swamp.
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Apr 11, 2012 00:20
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Contra Calculus posted:Calling it right now, this is how the series ends. GRRM was just warming us up to aunt-nephew incest by showing the even grosser-by-comparison brother-sister incest between Jaime and Cersei. She also survives a goddamn concentration camp. When she grows up she'll probably end up writing the Westeros equivalent of Ayn Rand books*. *rape
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Apr 11, 2012 00:21
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IRQ posted:Fantasizing about Brienne getting golden fisted by Jaime is the only way I can get off anymore. It's the only right way to get off anymore. Anything else is just plain sexual deviancy.
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Apr 11, 2012 00:22
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 and people wonder why we care about how ugly/hot the actress playing Brienne is.
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Apr 11, 2012 00:23
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Contra Calculus posted:As much as I criticize and make fun of gurm for becoming a lovely author, I honest-to-god don't think any of our own little hopes for what happens are better than what he will write. EDIT: September 2010: GURM publishes Spring and the series closer is met with an uproar of critical acclaim. January 2011: The world mourns the passing of the modern Tolkien, succumbed to a ferocious bout of shitdick. Bhaal fucked around with this message at 00:32 on Apr 11, 2012 |
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Apr 11, 2012 00:29
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Hot Dog Day #31 posted:The series will end with the entire continent (world?) in the middle of winter and everything is looking pretty terrible as lots of people die and bad poo poo happens. The final chapter will be tree-Bran having a dream of the spring that will eventually come after the winter is over and the bad guys are killed and he'll see some of the characters doing there thing while most of them have died or are shown to have died in his dream, but the implication is that things will get so much worse before they get better but at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hence the title of the last book. This reminds me of an 80s teen movie ending where they do a quick summary of what every character ends up doing after the film is over, which in turns reminds me that I had the idea of editing such a video together using footage of characters from the show looking cheeky and text of not-quite spoilers along the lines of the "sitcom episode summaries" that were all over the thread a couple pages ago. "Jaime Lannister lent a hand to a local theatre troupe during their latest production - he turned out to have a golden touch," and whatnot. It made sense in my head okay?
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