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HBO version of events: Robb marries a Lannister spy who poisons him, and King Renly goes to the wall to bail out Daenerys who is fighting Theon and his army of white walkers. And then whores titties whores whores titties Ros sits the iron throne, season finale: Littlefinger and Tywin get married in the cloud city and then Ned wakes up at Winterfell and it was all a dream. Because HBO is the worst poo poo to ever exist.
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Apr 23, 2012 03:55
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Tony Danza Claus posted:Littlefinger and Tywin get married in the cloud city Lando Calrissian is now a septon, this gonna kick rear end
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Apr 23, 2012 04:04
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Spoiling the shadow baby surprise is definitely a dumb, dumb move. I don't have faith in them bringing RW as a curveball. They're going to just spell the entire thing out in the House of the Undying, rather than coat it in clever imagery. Bleh, this season is letting me down.
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Apr 23, 2012 04:08
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Not even Melisandre mentions R'hllor, they just call him the "Red God", gently caress me I wanted to hear them pronounce that poo poo.
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Apr 23, 2012 04:13
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El Hefe posted:Not even Melisandre mentions R'hllor, they just call him the "Red God", gently caress me I wanted to hear them pronounce that poo poo. What do you mean? It's pronounced R'hllor  oh, now this is just precious: drunken officeparty posted:I hate how they don't show big battles. Budgets shmudgets. whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 04:46 on Apr 23, 2012 |
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Apr 23, 2012 04:36
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Tony Danza Claus posted:God drat everything This is me. My friends were discussing the episode and the theory they stopped on was shadowbaby is there to go kill Renly. I was supposed to have my face permanently etched into the Grinch smugging it up. But now... 
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Apr 23, 2012 04:53
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They cut out the part tonight about Ned's bones being too small.
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Apr 23, 2012 05:08
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The bitching in this thread is better than what the TVIV reaction would've been to a Renly death anyways. Like, they definately should've had Renly die this episode but holy poo poo are you guys whiny and mad about a series you profess to hate so much. Is this what it truly means to be a wild card? To just bitch and moan that a book series you don't like wasn't adapted to your standards?
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Apr 23, 2012 05:41
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Ross posted:They cut out the part tonight about Ned's bones being too small. I noticed that too. That was disappointing, I expected Cat to say something like that when she was alone. Makochuk posted:The bitching in this thread is better than what the TVIV reaction would've been to a Renly death anyways. Like, they definately should've had Renly die this episode but holy poo poo are you guys whiny and mad about a series you profess to hate so much. Is this what it truly means to be a wild card? To just bitch and moan that a book series you don't like wasn't adapted to your standards? You know nothing, Makochuk 
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Apr 23, 2012 05:43
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Antler Dildo was a little too much but I did find the scene where Meryn Trant in full platemail was walloping Sansa with uppercuts pretty good. Jeyne Westerling, smallfolk-rights activist could get real annoying real fast. I loved the shadow birth, although I wish we got Renly's death this week. And speaking of Renly, he should have had the peach when he was talking to his bro Stannis, I always loved when Stannis would obsess about that fuckin peach later in the books.
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Apr 23, 2012 05:45
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Oh, my sweet summer children. Have you forgotten so quickly that everything touched by the GRRM turns into poo poo? Truly Dany is our mother prophet.
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Apr 23, 2012 05:57
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savinhill posted:Antler Dildo was a little too much I got a boner from that. Edited for content: I am really sad there isn't gonna be any scenes with Arya applying leaches to Roose. 
EatDirt fucked around with this message at 06:08 on Apr 23, 2012 |
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Apr 23, 2012 06:02
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Makochuk posted:The bitching in this thread is better than what the TVIV reaction would've been to a Renly death anyways. Like, they definately should've had Renly die this episode but holy poo poo are you guys whiny and mad about a series you profess to hate so much. Is this what it truly means to be a wild card? To just bitch and moan that a book series you don't like wasn't adapted to your standards? Yes. And about how he's not writing the books we hate. And how he's editing other books we hate even more. And then there's our forty-part RPfic of the GRRM, where he has a tea party with Maisie Williams and Emilia Clarke. And of course WILDCON, where we have our annual competition for best GRRMsplayers (the "glistening wetly" subcontest is a highlight). e: dammit, the fanfic I made up should have been "Driving Miss Maisie". whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 06:11 on Apr 23, 2012 |
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Apr 23, 2012 06:06
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EatDirt posted:I got a boner from that. I remember thinking that Roose was the fat gently caress instead of Manderly back then. That made for a very pleasant mental image indeed.
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Apr 23, 2012 06:09
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Maytag posted:I must disagree. Fiction allows authors to explore morality and the human condition with no constraints. Fantastical situations allow for taking explorations in any direction with markedly less repercussion. This is precisely why I read fantasy. On the other hand, the vast majority of fantasy fiction turns out to be poo poo anyway. On the other other hand, Sturgeon's law. On the n+1th hand, after 30 years or so of reading nerdy genre poo poo I still don't mind most of it being poo poo. I require better-written poo poo to hold my attention now than I used to when I was 11, though.
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Apr 23, 2012 06:32
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Shadow baby scene was hilarious. Also, whose idea was the Joffrey and the two prostitutes scene? Is this something GRRM regretted not putting in the book?
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Apr 23, 2012 07:06
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I really hope the scene after Renly biting it is Tyrion being delivered that sceptre with bits of that girls insides all over the antlers so everyone can know that no, she wasn't beating her with the sceptre.
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Apr 23, 2012 07:20
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Wow, wouldn't it be the most amazing thing if gurm was cast as Manderly? I would love to see him discussing his bowels, also his throat cut. Wait, scratch that, Richard Griffiths would be better; he is so loving fat it would be perfect!
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Apr 23, 2012 07:42
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So was that medic supposed to be Jeyne? If so, why is she now named something else, and from Volantis? And what the hell is going on with Arya's stuff? I don't remember it in the books but it all feels off And Margaery's still got it.
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Apr 23, 2012 09:03
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bigmcgaffney posted:So was that medic supposed to be Jeyne? If so, why is she now named something else, and from Volantis? Arya's story is getting massively compacted, I think.
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Apr 23, 2012 09:25
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bigmcgaffney posted:So was that medic supposed to be Jeyne? If so, why is she now named something else, and from Volantis? The Harrenhal stuff was somewhat spot on except the addition of Tywin being there. Arya was a servant girl for her time there, but I believe her and Gendry were supposed to be separated by now and Jaqen finds her.
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Apr 23, 2012 09:36
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Who got antlered?
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Apr 23, 2012 10:01
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Some random whore because what this show needs is more gratuitous sexquote:I highly highly doubt Renly is gonna go out like a punk by some shadow baby. His loverboy maybe. Clearly losing him is what's going to kick it up a notch. Maybe we will get some of those delicious tears after all :3
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Apr 23, 2012 10:25
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Octy posted:Also, whose idea was the Joffrey and the two prostitutes scene? Is this something GRRM regretted not putting in the book? The next episode is going to cold open with Joffrey sitting on the iron throne lecturing the court about the virtues of The Rains of Castamere. The scene will last for forty-five minutes. I wonder how many fanfictions are being penned at this very moment, inspired by the scene where Tyrion rescues her.
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Apr 23, 2012 10:54
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Ross posted:They cut out the part tonight about Ned's bones being too small. Urdnot Fire posted:I noticed that too. That was disappointing, I expected Cat to say something like that when she was alone.
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Apr 23, 2012 11:59
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Rurik posted:Who got antlered? Pycelle's most recent whore (Tyrion picked her himself I guess as a thank you to her for keeping quiet, great job there) by Ros
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Apr 23, 2012 12:35
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bigmcgaffney posted:And Margaery's still got it.  Last night's ep gave me such an urge to rewatch the first two Dormer-filled seasons of The Tudors. Really one of my all-time favorite actresses.
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Apr 23, 2012 13:16
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Worst show on tv. "What this show needs is a love interest for Robb." "Well he marries the Westerling girl next season..." "Boring. Change it to a total Florence Nightingale heavy-handed bullshit schmaltz, because tv viewers are stupid." "Alright, I guess. Next there's all this great stuff at Harrenhall where Tywin is evil and then Roose takes it but is more evil, and these dudes are killing off the bad guys..." "No no. Just have Tywin be a good guy." "Ok. Well next there's Renly and Catelyn and Brienne and they..." "Cut all that. Just have some tits and Littlefinger can explain it later. With tits." "Alright, so Joffrey..." "Just have him rape a whore to death with some antlers. That way tv viewers will know he's evil." "Then Renly dies..." "No. We need more tits. Whore tits. And pregnant lady tits. More whores." "Ok. And then lastly Dany is in a strange city where they walk around with their tits out." "Cut that. We here at HBO are not peddlers of smut."
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Apr 23, 2012 13:40
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So wait, what's wrong with having more whore tits?
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Apr 23, 2012 14:11
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Octy posted:So wait, what's wrong with having more whore tits? It's no longer a question of turning an 800 page book into 10 hours. They're not just cutting little things for relevant sexposition now. They're leaving out huge chunks of the book, and running episodes short. And ADDING hours worth of tits in place of story. Maybe 6 minutes of that episode was from the books. The rest is just a porno with high production values. It's getting steadily worse, and now I'm absolutely certain between the show and pear-shaped man that GRRM didn't write the books. He stole them from some no name author and gave him hush money. Everything GRRM is truly involved with is so terrible. In It For The Tank posted:I'm holding out hope that Sansa will push Joffrey the next time he lingers near a ledge over a steep drop. That's the only way I can imagine the writers (or GRRM or whoever) justify her continued existence in the show. TVIV thinks GRRM is going somewhere with all this Sansa stuff.
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Apr 23, 2012 14:23
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), Sansa's such a waste of space.
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Ambiguatron posted:Of course, I don't think that would matter, since I'm still assuming that R'hllor is actually evil. Do you really think the gods exist in any meaningful way in aSoIaF? I highly doubt it.
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Apr 23, 2012 14:29
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Tony Danza Claus posted:It's no longer a question of turning an 800 page book into 10 hours. They're not just cutting little things for relevant sexposition now. They're leaving out huge chunks of the book, and running episodes short. And ADDING hours worth of tits in place of story. Maybe 6 minutes of that episode was from the books. The rest is just a porno with high production values.
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Apr 23, 2012 14:36
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Sexpansion posted:Do you really think the gods exist in any meaningful way in aSoIaF? I highly doubt it.
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Apr 23, 2012 14:38
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bigmcgaffney posted:So was that medic supposed to be Jeyne? If so, why is she now named something else, and from Volantis? No that's not Jeyne. That's just some random field surgeon. It's not clear the whore was hosed with the scepter. She was definitely beaten with it though. HBO should have been smart and ended the episode with Mel revealing she's pregnant. Then people have a week to wonder "What the gently caress?!" Also Littlefinger was really way too blatant for his character. "Oh Cat I've always loved you maybe this is a sign from the gods..." Dude wouldn't be so blunt immediately after she expresses distaste for him. Tony Danza Claus posted:He stole them from some no name author and gave him hush money. This is probably true. Rurik posted:Yeah, me too. Why would gods in a fantasy world not participate in the world's events in any way? Because this isn't Dragonlance or Forgotten Realms and having gods meddle in affairs lessens the audience's ability to identify with the characters. There's no true sense of struggle if Zifnab is gonna come down and clean up the mess.
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Apr 23, 2012 15:02
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Maytag posted:This is probably true. I'm convinced. Look at EVERYTHING the GRUM has ever been involved in, from tv to blogs, to comics. Look at the last two books. Look at the tv show. Now compare all that to the first three ASOIAF books. There's no way GRRM wrote those. He probably edited in some of the rape, and definitely the food porn, but he did not write those stories. At all. I doubt he even really read them. How else do you explain major events and character arcs being replaced with naked women and sadism and snowballing and rape rape rape rape rape? The complete works of GRRM have nothing in common with the ASOIAF trilogy. He is a sham, and now I want to find the real author.
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Apr 23, 2012 15:17
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In an extremely daring twist the real author is some American guy named Tolkien.
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Apr 23, 2012 15:18
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Tony Danza Claus posted:The complete works of GRRM have nothing in common with the ASOIAF trilogy. He is a sham, and now I want to find the real author. Where do ghostwriters go?
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Apr 23, 2012 15:20
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Tony Danza Claus posted:I'm convinced. What major events are being replaced? Also, why don't you just stop watching the show if you hate it?
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Apr 23, 2012 15:21
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Rurik posted:Yeah, me too. Why would gods in a fantasy world not participate in the world's events in any way? GRRM basically said years ago that the question of which gods, if any, are 'real' will not be answered. That was a pretty lovely episode. I agree they're changing/adding too much stuff for no good reason, resulting in things like Arya's story feeling truncated. Shadowbaby birth was cool though, if only in an 'that's exactly the way I pictured it' way, and I always liked that conversation about shadows being born from light, so I'm glad they included that. Meh, roll on episode 9.
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Apr 23, 2012 15:28
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am0kgonzo posted:Also, why don't you just stop watching the show if you hate it? I am a professional GRRM hater. Why would I remove a source of GRRM hate? That's stupid and you're stupid.
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Apr 23, 2012 15:29
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