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An observer
Aug 30, 2008

where the stars are drowning and whales ferry their vast souls through the black and seamless sea
Oatmeal overnight for an effort-free breakfast

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Ashcans
Jan 2, 2006

Let's do the space-time warp again!

To return to the subject of sausages, I have always pricked them because otherwise they seem to burst/spill out the end. Am I doing something wrong in cooking them? Are they supposed to do that?

Darval
Nov 20, 2007

Shiny.

winvirus posted:

I have recently acquired a slow cooker. What are some good slow-cooker recipes? I am a picky eater and just frankly have no idea where to start.

Is there like a repository of slow-cooker recipes that rock somewhere or

If you have archives, this thread is awesome:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2775050

tarepanda
Mar 26, 2011

Living the Dream
I had a ton of chicken breast and ended up making ghetto fajitas.

Slice your veggies (onions and bell peppers for me), toss them in a hot pan, toss in chicken, cook, toss in a bit of chicken broth, reduce, sprinkle on taco spices to taste and reduce until you have a sauce that's at whatever consistency you like.

dis astranagant
Dec 14, 2006

winvirus posted:

I have recently acquired a slow cooker. What are some good slow-cooker recipes? I am a picky eater and just frankly have no idea where to start.

Is there like a repository of slow-cooker recipes that rock somewhere or

The pulled pork recipe on the wiki is great and pretty much impossible to gently caress up even if you wind up improvising almost everything.

Clevername Lookhere
Jan 9, 2006
Quick question about buying steak. I haven't bought steak much in the past but need to start... more red meat sounds like a good idea. Last time I went out and bought a NY strip, though, I ended up with one that seemed way too think to cook correctly. It looked more like a cube than a regular steak. Next time I head to the meat market / butcher's counter, what do I ask for to avoid this? Do I just have them cut it half or butterfly it or something? Or do I just look for a piece that looks better in the first place? Thanks!

dis astranagant
Dec 14, 2006

Not sure how a strip would end up cubic, they're way longer than they are wide. Even if it ends up 2 or 3 inches thick you should be able to just sear it and maybe give it a few minutes in a 500 degree oven if you're into that kinda thing.

Mach420
Jun 22, 2002
Bandit at 6 'o clock - Pull my finger

Clevername Lookhere posted:

Quick question about buying steak. I haven't bought steak much in the past but need to start... more red meat sounds like a good idea. Last time I went out and bought a NY strip, though, I ended up with one that seemed way too think to cook correctly. It looked more like a cube than a regular steak. Next time I head to the meat market / butcher's counter, what do I ask for to avoid this? Do I just have them cut it half or butterfly it or something? Or do I just look for a piece that looks better in the first place? Thanks!

Thick as hell steak? Ducasse it.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
No, sear on both sides until a nice crispy crust has formed. Then I would eat it, but you could stick it in the oven if you want it a bit warmer. You can add some butter when you put it in the oven if you like, I suppose, but it's better to just add it right before taking the steak out of the pan, so that you sort of deglaze with butter and then you drip all that tasty stuff all over your meat.

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

Clevername Lookhere posted:

Quick question about buying steak. I haven't bought steak much in the past but need to start... more red meat sounds like a good idea. Last time I went out and bought a NY strip, though, I ended up with one that seemed way too think to cook correctly. It looked more like a cube than a regular steak. Next time I head to the meat market / butcher's counter, what do I ask for to avoid this? Do I just have them cut it half or butterfly it or something? Or do I just look for a piece that looks better in the first place? Thanks!

Thicker is actually better. I like splitting a nice 2" thick steak with my fiancee. The thickness buys you leeway in terms of temperature doneness while pursuing crust. You can ask for a thinner cut steak if you want, but you're going to have a harder time getting both a good crust and good internal temperature. Sadly, given the choice between the two, too many people choose the crust, when really the internal temperature is the most important. For preparation, I like searing in ghee and finishing with a pat of room temperature garlic compound butter if I have some, or just regular butter if not, maybe some sel gris or maldon if I'm feeling fancy. Like wiggles, I've found that post searing my steaks are at a temperature that I like, however if you want it warmer, finish in the oven.

Force de Fappe
Nov 7, 2008

GrAviTy84 posted:

I would recommend thighs over breasts. They are more flavorful, are cheaper, and you can do a lot more with them. A basic pan roasted chicken thigh is a great skill to have and you can vary it a lot based on seasonings you choose to use and sauces you may or may not serve with it.

You can also braise them in a liquid of your choice. Since you're just starting out, find a good tomatillo salsa. Brown the chicken thighs, skin side down on medium heat, don't rush it. Going slow will allow the fat to melt off. Once a deep brown is accomplished, flip so that the skin is facing up, add about a tsp of ground cumin to the fat and allow to get fragrant, then add the tomatillo salsa. Jiggle the pan so that the salsa settles on all sides of the thighs, cover and reduce heat to low. Cook until thighs are tender. Finish with some cilantro. If you feel up to it, I encourage you to make your own tomatillo salsa.

You can also brine them, dredge, and deep fry.

I can't believe you, out of all, wrote this without mentioning chicken thigh adobo.

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

Sjurygg posted:

I can't believe you, out of all, wrote this without mentioning chicken thigh adobo.

oh, yeah that, too.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
If your steak is thinner, salting it then leaving it in the fridge until its ready to cook can allow you to get a better crust while leaving the inside closer to being rare. If the steak is under an inch thick keeping it cold then only cooking it for around 90 seconds per side before resting should provide an adequate crust and have a rare steak.

Temperature of everything and actual thickness will vary how long it should stay cooking of course

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:
Does Marmite (or Vegemite, for that matter) go bad?

I just noticed a jar in the back of my cupboard that I bought back in... 2010 or so? I dunno. :iiam:

branedotorg
Jun 19, 2009

scuz posted:

Bought frozen, rendered duck fat on a whim a while back and I think I should use it or something. I'm having a hard time coming up with things that aren't weird or just "potatoes and duck fat". The weird ideas are tortillas, savory pie crust, savory cookies (what?), sausages (I don't have a meat grinder), or just using it in place of butter when frying eggs etc.
I like to (shallow) fry steak or chicken in it or pork milanese or potato schupfnudeln.

branedotorg
Jun 19, 2009

Mister Macys posted:

Does Marmite (or Vegemite, for that matter) go bad?

I just noticed a jar in the back of my cupboard that I bought back in... 2010 or so? I dunno. :iiam:

Which one is it? Either way, as long it's not really dried out (some crystallisation is okay) it's fine, yeast, sugar and heaps of salt mean either will last - or so i'm told, neither last in my house.

IIRC there was a thing about marmite being sterile on the internet a few years back, i'm sure google will let you know.

Clevername Lookhere
Jan 9, 2006
Thanks for the tips everyone. Sounds like I'll be OK with a thick steak as long as I prep it correctly, then I can slice and dice it however I want after it's cooked. I think when I tried to cook that really thick one I got, I probably 1) didn't cook it enough, and 2) Only tried to cook it in my cast iron pan and didn't put it in the oven at all. I'll use the oven next time so I can make sure the insides get cooked after the outside looks good.

Related dumb question: I have a regular generic classic meat thermometer that never seems to register a temperature as high as I expect... I follow cooking directions for steak, chicken, beef, whatever, and even cook for a little longer than instructed but still the temp never seems to look high enough on the thermometer even if the meat looks/tastes good. I think I do a good job of getting the thermometer right in the middle/thick part but I'm not sure. Do I need a better thermometer, need to cook more, or need to do a better job finding the right spot to get the correct temp? I have a feeling it's user error but maybe you guys can help.

TehKeen
May 24, 2006

Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's
cosmoline.


So I'm trying to make homemade tortilla chips from scratch. Does anyone have any advice on doing so? I'm waiting on my masa to finish resting before I cook the tortillas up and I'm planning on using this recipe, minus the seasonings ( :pauladeen: ) to do the actual frying of the chips unless anyone has a different suggestion.

CzarChasm
Mar 14, 2009

I don't like it when you're watching me eat.

Clevername Lookhere posted:

Related dumb question: I have a regular generic classic meat thermometer that never seems to register a temperature as high as I expect... I follow cooking directions for steak, chicken, beef, whatever, and even cook for a little longer than instructed but still the temp never seems to look high enough on the thermometer even if the meat looks/tastes good. I think I do a good job of getting the thermometer right in the middle/thick part but I'm not sure. Do I need a better thermometer, need to cook more, or need to do a better job finding the right spot to get the correct temp? I have a feeling it's user error but maybe you guys can help.

If by regular meat thermometer you mean a thick spike and a large dial at the end which points to pictures of a cow or a chicken, generally nothing wrong with that, but two things; 1) Typically those larger units are made for roasts or whole birds as the large spike will put large holes in your food. 2) It's possible the elements in the thermometer are worn out and it's time for a new one. It happens.

You can get a digital probe thermometer for about $20 in most cooking supply stores. It will take a few seconds for it to register the temperature, but since you are just starting off that's probably going to be fine.

OTOH, if you want to get serious about cooking and you have the cash to burn, look into getting a thermapen. It costs about $100, but is very fast and very accurate.

TehKeen posted:

So I'm trying to make homemade tortilla chips from scratch. Does anyone have any advice on doing so? I'm waiting on my masa to finish resting before I cook the tortillas up and I'm planning on using this recipe, minus the seasonings ( :pauladeen: ) to do the actual frying of the chips unless anyone has a different suggestion.

The directions look fine to me, but if you are making the tortillas from scratch and fresh masa you want to make sure you are getting a uniform thickness. Her recipe is kind of cheating as she's just frying up store bought corn tortillas. You will probably need to cook yours for a few seconds longer since they are fresh.

TehKeen
May 24, 2006

Maybe she's born with it.
Maybe it's
cosmoline.


Err, I'm not even sure why I linked that recipe. The one I'm using is this. Perhaps I shouldn't start drinking before noon. :shepface:

edit: Durr, that's what I was gonna use for the chips, but I never got to that part.

Anyway, I found out the thickness thing the hard way. I tried roll out the dough by hand but it was waay too crumbly to handle properly and the tortillas didn't really cook all the way through before the edges started burning. I need to go out and get a rolling pin.

By the by, shouldn't I add some salt to the dough, or am I stuck in breadland?

TehKeen fucked around with this message at 19:25 on Apr 24, 2012

Psychobabble
Jan 17, 2006

Clevername Lookhere posted:

Thanks for the tips everyone. Sounds like I'll be OK with a thick steak as long as I prep it correctly, then I can slice and dice it however I want after it's cooked. I think when I tried to cook that really thick one I got, I probably 1) didn't cook it enough, and 2) Only tried to cook it in my cast iron pan and didn't put it in the oven at all. I'll use the oven next time so I can make sure the insides get cooked after the outside looks good.

Related dumb question: I have a regular generic classic meat thermometer that never seems to register a temperature as high as I expect... I follow cooking directions for steak, chicken, beef, whatever, and even cook for a little longer than instructed but still the temp never seems to look high enough on the thermometer even if the meat looks/tastes good. I think I do a good job of getting the thermometer right in the middle/thick part but I'm not sure. Do I need a better thermometer, need to cook more, or need to do a better job finding the right spot to get the correct temp? I have a feeling it's user error but maybe you guys can help.

Before anything else, test the temp of boiling water, and/or freezing water.

Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

TehKeen posted:

So I'm trying to make homemade tortilla chips from scratch. Does anyone have any advice on doing so? I'm waiting on my masa to finish resting before I cook the tortillas up and I'm planning on using this recipe, minus the seasonings ( :pauladeen: ) to do the actual frying of the chips unless anyone has a different suggestion.

I figure you'd probably do this already, but definitely cook the tortillas before attempting frying them. I tried to shortcut making tortilla chips by just frying slices of thin masa dough, but they puffed up and weren't really tortilla chips at the end. Fresh made tortilla chips are definitely much, much better than the store-bought stuff in bags, though. If you've got access to a tortilla press it will simplify the process greatly, but it's not very common. I don't have any recommendations for shaping tortillas without a press, unfortunately.

Mister Facetious
Apr 21, 2007

I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

:canada:

branedotorg posted:

Which one is it? Either way, as long it's not really dried out (some crystallisation is okay) it's fine, yeast, sugar and heaps of salt mean either will last - or so i'm told, neither last in my house.

IIRC there was a thing about marmite being sterile on the internet a few years back, i'm sure google will let you know.

It's Marmite. I figured the two are more or less the same.

And it's not dried out. It's still... gooey.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Can I freeze beets if I'm only going to use them for borsch? I can only get them online and only in quantities far larger than I'm going to use at once.

RazorBunny
May 23, 2007

Sometimes I feel like this.

I know it's been done a million times, but we bought a bunch of 75% off Easter chocolate bunnies and melted them down to pour into some of our fun ice molds (Easter Island heads, Han Solo in carbonite, a couple of Space Invaders, and flying saucers). We took a little time-lapse video of them melting.

Melting Bunnies

I didn't realize until later that you can totally see me whisking a roux in the background.

Hed
Mar 31, 2004

Fun Shoe

CzarChasm posted:

look into getting a thermapen. It costs about $100, but is very fast and very accurate.

:smith:

You can't tell because of my alcohol frying thermometer but the probes for all of the digital gauges you see there are within a few cm of each other. Now I know some people that I used to work with at NRL studied thermal layers, but drat if my Thermapen didn't have some real inherent bias the other day (even when I dipped it under running cold water from the faucet).

Funnily enough, the next day my Oven probe Thermoworks version didn't work:

You're not supposed to keep the probe in water but I followed my usual strategy with such things and went with just the tip. I just have bad luck with thermometers it seems.

CuddleChunks
Sep 18, 2004

Opus125 posted:

What are simple chicken breast based meals you're fond of or would recommend to a neophyte cook?
Easy chicken soup.

winvirus posted:

I have recently acquired a slow cooker. What are some good slow-cooker recipes? I am a picky eater and just frankly have no idea where to start.
Make chili, make stew, make pot roasts, make soups. Lots and lots of neat things can be made in a slow cooker.

If you have archives I made a thread on how to make a basic beef stew.

TehKeen posted:

So I'm trying to make homemade tortilla chips from scratch.

Check out this Good Eats episode.

RazorBunny posted:

We took a little time-lapse video of them melting.
Melting Bunnies

No Mr. Bond, I expect you to coat this pretzel! MUAHAHAHAH!

Stalizard
Aug 11, 2006

Have I got a headache!
I've been recently playing around with making bread and I just made my best bread yet, with a really wet dough that I tried my best to knead for the duration of a Simpsons episode. I tried kneading it on a floured surface with floured hands, but it stuck to my fingers and my pastry rolling sheet thing and, while it did become slightly more manageable after 20 odd minutes of working, it never unstuck itself from anything. I used 355 grams of King Arthur bread flour and 284 grams of water, a packet of yeast and some pinches of salt.

I baked the bread in my dutch oven and it came out perfectly, super crispy crust with a really really soft inside. I want to make this bread again and again and again. I just want to be able to knead it into some semblance of manageability. I admit that I was somewhat stingy with the flouring of my hands and my kneading surface, but that was for two reasons. First, I always wind up working a huge pile of flour into my dough and wind up with a nigh inedible breadrock, and second my hands were so messy just after touching this dough I couldn't stick my hand back into the flour container.

What can I do to make this dough actually workable, but still wind up with an extremely soft, not too dense crumb? For what it's worth, my crumb looks about like the 70% hydration example on this site: http://www.artisanbakers.com/crumb.html

TychoCelchuuu
Jan 2, 2012

This space for Rent.

Stalizard posted:

I've been recently playing around with making bread and I just made my best bread yet, with a really wet dough that I tried my best to knead for the duration of a Simpsons episode. I tried kneading it on a floured surface with floured hands, but it stuck to my fingers and my pastry rolling sheet thing and, while it did become slightly more manageable after 20 odd minutes of working, it never unstuck itself from anything. I used 355 grams of King Arthur bread flour and 284 grams of water, a packet of yeast and some pinches of salt.

I baked the bread in my dutch oven and it came out perfectly, super crispy crust with a really really soft inside. I want to make this bread again and again and again. I just want to be able to knead it into some semblance of manageability. I admit that I was somewhat stingy with the flouring of my hands and my kneading surface, but that was for two reasons. First, I always wind up working a huge pile of flour into my dough and wind up with a nigh inedible breadrock, and second my hands were so messy just after touching this dough I couldn't stick my hand back into the flour container.

What can I do to make this dough actually workable, but still wind up with an extremely soft, not too dense crumb? For what it's worth, my crumb looks about like the 70% hydration example on this site: http://www.artisanbakers.com/crumb.html
Lots of tips in this thread if you haven't seen it yet.

TastyLemonDrops
Aug 6, 2008

you said "drop kick" fyi
My mother picked up some corn flour (masa?) for some reason, even though we've never used it before. Anyone know of any goon approved recipes using it?

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



Mix it with water until it has a nice, doughy consistency that's wet enough to hold shape, but not so wet that it sticks to everyone and everything. Roll it into little balls and press them nice and flat in whichever manner you find simplest (a rolling pin can work). Cook on a dry piece of cast iron, then pack them with carne asada, chopped onions, and cilantro.

I also like to use corn masa to thicken up my chili if it's more liquid than I like at the end.

scuz
Aug 29, 2003

You can't be angry ALL the time!




Fun Shoe

Grand Fromage posted:

Can I freeze beets if I'm only going to use them for borsch? I can only get them online and only in quantities far larger than I'm going to use at once.
Go for it; shred 'em first.

The Belgian
Oct 28, 2008
Does anyone know how long Roquefort lasts in the fridge after the package has been opened and it wasn't tightly wrapped in something afterwards, so it's been exposed to the air and stuff?

Turkeybone
Dec 9, 2006

:chef: :eng99:
Could you just say how long you think its been ?

The Belgian
Oct 28, 2008

Turkeybone posted:

Could you just say how long you think its been ?

It's been open for about a week.

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

The Belgian posted:

Does anyone know how long Roquefort lasts in the fridge after the package has been opened and it wasn't tightly wrapped in something afterwards, so it's been exposed to the air and stuff?

You're worried that your moldy cheese is gonna go bad? So long as it's not slimy, pink, orange, or yellow, and it doesn't smell like band aids or toe jam it's fine.

The Belgian
Oct 28, 2008

GrAviTy84 posted:

You're worried that your moldy cheese is gonna go bad? So long as it's not slimy, pink, orange, or yellow, and it doesn't smell like band aids or toe jam it's fine.

Thanks! I was just unsure since there didn't seem to be an obvious way to tell if it was bad.

Mach420
Jun 22, 2002
Bandit at 6 'o clock - Pull my finger

The Belgian posted:

Thanks! I was just unsure since there didn't seem to be an obvious way to tell if it was bad.

Just as an anecdote, a chunk of Pecorino romano has lasted for over 8 months, with occasional use, in a tupperware container in my fridge without molding up.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

Mach420 posted:

Just as an anecdote, a chunk of Pecorino romano has lasted for over 8 months, with occasional use, in a tupperware container in my fridge without molding up.

Romano could never last that long in my house I just eat it strait it's so good. That's why I could never buy a wheel.

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Proust Malone
Apr 4, 2008

Mach420 posted:

Just as an anecdote, a chunk of Pecorino romano has lasted for over 8 months, with occasional use, in a tupperware container in my fridge without molding up.

With hard cheeses, I just cut off the mold and use the rest. I throw out soft cheeses if they start to look sketchy.

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