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Oh god I have .09 dorfbucks left to bet. Which is odd, because last fight I bet my last $1, and won $2.65  I cant bet anymore Edit: VVV I knew that 
Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:53 on Apr 27, 2012 |
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Apr 27, 2012 13:37
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Spermy Smurf posted:Oh god I have .09 dorfbucks left to bet. Winnings aren't available for use until the next round of fights. You're out for now, but you'll have some funds next round.
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Apr 27, 2012 14:29
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 Round Two, Match Twenty-threeMatch Twenty-Three, Horza (Goodchild) vs. Major Miner (Jeans) Horza, a troll, straps into his extensive armor. Copper high boots, copper greaves, copper helm, iron gauntlets, iron mail shirt, and a leather tunic. His fists are his weapon. Major Miner, a dwarf, takes the opposite approach: no armor, but armed with a proper weapon, in his case, an iron pick. Much of Horza's armor will probably be able to deflect the dwarf's weapon, but where will Major Miner choose to strike?  The match begins! Major Miner is quicker than his heavily-armored opponent and strikes first, slamming his pick into Horza's chest- but the iron mail prevents any penetration! Horza charges, goring Major Miner and sending the dwarf tumbling, though largely intact.  Before Major Miner can recover, Horza, an experience wrestler, grabs one of his hands, preventing an easy escape. The troll then delivers a powerful kick as Major Miner rises, though the dwarf sustains the blow without faltering. Now Horza begins to wrench Major Miner's arm at a frightening angle, but the dwarf manages to get to his feet and gets ready to attack- only to be knocked back to the ground immediately, stunned! Horza sets in on him, but somehow the dwarf weathers the assault and rises to his feet with surprising speed, then immediately leaps out of the way, avoiding Horza's next swing!  But Horza will not be denied. The troll rushes in yet again, forcing Major Miner to back against the wall just to escape. Now the dwarf raises his pick and lowers his shoulder ready to meet the troll head on! And he does just that. Unfortunately for the dwarf, the troll's head is quite a bit sturdier than his own, and its tusk crushes Major Miner's skull like a coconut.  Combat Log
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Apr 30, 2012 23:35
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That was brutal. Man, what a way to go.
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Apr 30, 2012 23:49
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Man. I did not think I'd be killable by a blunt weapon. I'm embarrassed.
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Apr 30, 2012 23:50
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Round Two, Match Twenty-four Match Twenty-four, Hawk Hogan (Jason Firestrider) vs. Mrs. Vox (Gomegoth) Hawk Hogan the yeti doesn't bother with weapons, armor, or any other material possessions. Mrs. Vox the troll favors a massive steel great axe. Hawk Hogan has a slight size advantage, but if Mrs. Vox can get even a single swing in with her axe victory will almost certainly be hers!  The match begins, and our lumbering gladiators move in! They strike simultaneously, Mrs. Vox slapping her opponent with the side of her axe, dealing predictably underwhelming damage. Hawk Hogan, for his part, delivers a powerful punch to the troll's face, snapping one of her tusks off cleanly! Immediately after, Mrs. Vox seems to remember which side of her axe to use and hacks off one of Hawk Hogan's arms even as the yeti delivers another punch!  Mrs. Vox aims her next swing at Hawk's midsection, ripping open his lower torso with her jagged axe and spilling heaping piles of offal upon the arena floor! Another slash across the belly rips into even more of Hawk's organs, finally debilitating the beast with overwhelming pain.  Now Mrs. Vox severs Hawk's remaining arm, leaving the yeti unable to even mount a semblance of a defense. Still, Hawk attempts to kick and bite, though he accomplishes nothing through his efforts. Mrs. Vox starts in on Hawk's legs like a lumberjack bringing down a tree. Three hacks later, she succeeds in taking off one of his legs completely, and the yeti finally succumbs, his meaty limbs still bouncing around the arena.  Combat Log
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Apr 30, 2012 23:55
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Sometimes these fights are just one side brutally undoing the other.
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May 1, 2012 04:35
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Wrestling > punching.
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May 1, 2012 09:22
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ZeeToo posted:Sometimes these fights are just one side brutally undoing the other. That's pretty much how combat with sharp weapons with an intent to kill usually end up. Looking forward to the next round.
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May 3, 2012 21:12
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Note: This match was run with an error in gladiator equipment, and as such its results are UNOFFICIAL. Please see the official match 25, but feel free to enjoy the combat shown here.Round Two, Match Twenty-five Match Twenty-five, Robo-Prancer MK.II (astus) vs. Hugh Mann (burginator) Robo-Prancer MK.II, oft-reanimated minotaur, is clad in an iron helm, silver mail, silver gauntlets, and silver high boots. His weapon of choice is an iron crossbow. The opposing gladiator, Hugh Mann, is a human warrior with a steel longsword and some classy leather high boots. Both fighters are very capable of destroying the other with a single strike to any part of the body- let's see who gets it done first!  The match begins! Robo-Prancer looses a bolt. The missile flies at Hugh Mann and cuts through the air just inches from his face- a near miss!  Hugh Mann, unencumbered, wastes no time in rushing across the ring to attack his opponent. Robo-Prancer is barely able to get off a shot before the human is upon him- but Hugh Mann reflexively throws himself forward, somehow evading the bolt fired from mere paces away!  A single step further and Hugh Mann is upon his opponent! The swordsman rapidly stabs and slashes at the minotaur's limbs, and within three strokes the minotaur is no longer holding onto either his crossbow or his bolts.  Hugh buries his sword up to the hilt in Robo-Prancer's torso, tearing through much of the beast's body, including his spine! Robo-Prancer collapses, helpless but still conscious. Hugh strikes off both of his limp hands, stabs the minotaur a few more times, then, blinded by blood and battle-rage, bites the dying beast. Robo-Prancer twitches and expires.  Combat Log Vox Nihili fucked around with this message at 21:15 on May 10, 2012 |
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May 9, 2012 21:10
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 That was Matrix as gently caress right there. Sidestepping a point-blank crossbow bolt is the new beating your opponent to death with a backpack.
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May 9, 2012 21:26
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I just joined this thread halfway through. When and how did that happen? It sounds incredible.
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May 9, 2012 21:34
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Agent Interrobang posted:
I wonder if Hugh went "....No." and dodged. I was worried about this match coming into it because, having no armour, one arrow could very easily end the match. I'm glad to see he channeled his inner Neo, and apparently turned into a diabolical gently caress and cut off both of his hands in two quick strikes. 
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May 9, 2012 21:53
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Round Two, Match Twenty-six Match Twenty-six, Nitram (Klokwurk) vs. Elizabeth Bennet (Dirty Frank) Nitram, another minotaur, comes clad in a mix of copper and iron armor. His entire body is protected with at least copper, but his head and torso enjoy the shielding provided by an iron helm and iron mail. An iron halberd and oaken shield complete his equipment. The challenger, Elizabeth Bennet, a goblin, wields a steel battle axe and wears steel mail, helm, and gauntlets. The goblin's equipment can slice through the minotaur's trappings like so much paper mache, but Nitram will have a difficult time harming the goblin unless he exclusively focuses on her unarmored feet. Can the minotaur his his bulk to his advantage, or is he simply out-gunned?  The match begins! Both gladiators advance swiftly. Elizabeth attacks first, but Nitram wisely backs away, avoiding the bite of the goblin's superior blade. Elizabeth advances, but Nitram immediately turns the tables, charging at the goblin! Elizabeth stumbles backwards, temporarily immobilized. The minotaur unleashes a flurry of blows, but the goblin defends herself and rises, jumping away- only to be tracked down and knocked over immediately after! The goblin's armor protects her arm from a halberd thrust, and her skill with her weapon allows her to parry blow after blow, but Nitram manages to aim a strike at her foot, sinking his blade in deep!  But this is just what Elizabeth wanted. With her opponent's weapon "trapped" in her flesh, she is able to slash him across the chest with her steel blade. The weapon cuts exceptionally deep, tearing through mail, flesh, rib, and lung alike. A second strike across the minotaur's lower body sends blood streaming in all directions!  Nitram is flagging badly, but he still has the advantage of being on his feet, while Elizabeth will not be standing for the rest of this match. The goblin parries strikes from her weakening opponent, then manages to scramble away. Nitram, shaking, follows. As he comes into weapons range, Elizabeth hacks off his foot, bringing him down to her level!  The minotaur, at this point, is spent. He bleeds from multiple gaping wounds and barely holds onto consciousness. Elizabeth hacks off one of his legs, leaving a stump fit for a medium-sized tree. Nitram bleeds out, and Elizabeth wins a surprisingly close fight.  Combat Log
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May 9, 2012 21:55
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Curses! I thought I had a sure bet there, with a minotaur vs. a goblin. What a tragic loss of dorfbux.
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May 9, 2012 21:58
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pw pw pw posted:I just joined this thread halfway through. When and how did that happen? It sounds incredible. Oh, the Backpack of Doom is from an old DF succession thread. Not Boatmurdered, uhhhhhh poo poo, the people here should remember it. The Saga of Holistic Detective.
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May 9, 2012 22:00
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Show 'em what you're made of, Hungry Mungry! 
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May 9, 2012 22:08
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Agent Interrobang posted:Oh, the Backpack of Doom is from an old DF succession thread. Not Boatmurdered, uhhhhhh poo poo, the people here should remember it. The Saga of Holistic Detective. Headshoots. And if you like Headshoots, you'll like its sequel, Syrupleaf.
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May 10, 2012 06:02
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...Uh, Vox? Robo-Prancer Mk. II was meant to use the bolts as a melee weapon, like he did his first match. I guess it's my fault for not sending you a reminder, since it's been a long time since that fight. Pretty sure Prancer only had like 1 point in Crossbow, 1 in archery, so he had no chance at actually being competant in a ranged fight.
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May 10, 2012 06:31
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Yes! Glorious victory! I thought all was lost when he actually struck at the foot, thank god for Goblin toughness I guess.
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May 10, 2012 07:06
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Astus posted:...Uh, Vox? Robo-Prancer Mk. II was meant to use the bolts as a melee weapon, like he did his first match. I guess it's my fault for not sending you a reminder, since it's been a long time since that fight. Pretty sure Prancer only had like 1 point in Crossbow, 1 in archery, so he had no chance at actually being competant in a ranged fight. Dammit. I checked my email specifically on this, but forgot to look through my PMs. Yes, the fight will have to be re-run. Apologies to burginator.
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May 10, 2012 07:24
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Curses! That's what I suspected would happen when I saw I was up against a steel weapon. At least I made some money from betting all my money against myself.
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May 10, 2012 13:39
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Round Two, Match Twenty-five, Official Run Match Twenty-five, Robo-Prancer MK.II (astus) vs. Hugh Mann (burginator) Robo-Prancer MK.II, oft-reanimated minotaur, is clad in an iron helm, silver mail, silver gauntlets, and silver high boots. His weapon of choice is The match begins- this time for real! Man and minotaur alike run forward. Hugh Mann is quicker and strikes first, scoring a deep gash in Robo-Prancer's lower leg! The minotaur managers to stay standing, however, and jabs at Hugh- but the warrior jumps to safety.  Now Hugh attacks again, this time going for Prancer's other leg. The steel sword slices through Prancer's silver boot with ease, cutting deep. Vital nerves are severed this time, and the minotaur collapses, unable to stand! Sensing weakness, Hugh moves in, methodically attacking Prancer's limbs.  Pitifully, the minotaur does not even attempt to fight back. He crawls, desperately looking for an escape. But there is none. Hugh gets more bold with his cuts, sweeping his sword across the minotaur's torso as well, then jabbing the beast in the eye. Prancer, near-blind, rapidly losing extremities, morale utterly broken, dies in a massive pool of his own blood. Hugh Mann advances!  Combat Log
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May 10, 2012 21:06
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Hey Jazzimus, mind replacing the Robo-Prancer v Hugh Mann combat log on your site with the official version I put up on pastebin? Thanks
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May 10, 2012 21:07
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Round Two, Match Twenty-seven Match Twenty-seven, Brometheus (Locomotive breath) vs. Hungry Mungry (Brick Moses) Brometheus, werewolf, wields an iron two-handed sword in one hand and and oak shield in the other. He wears a steel helm, iron mail shirt, iron high boots, copper leggings, and copper gauntlets. Hungry Mungry is a strangler with no weapons and only an iron helm for protection. This is not a fair fight by any standard. Hungry Mungry might, might have had a chance if Brometheus wasn't fully armored, but as things stand, the strangler will not even have a shot at a miracle bite victory. Let's see if Mungry can at least go out with a bang!  The bout is underway. Both fights advance. Hungry Mungry immediately bites at Brometheus's wrist, but the copper gauntlet is enough to prevent any harm. Brometheus sweeps his massive sword at Mungry, missing. Mungry scratches the werewolf in the upper arm, inflicting moderate bruising through the gladiator's iron mail. Brometheus whiffs another attack. Technically, Hungry Mungry is winning!  Mungry tries to bite Brometheus's toe, but the werewolf's heavy iron boot is more than enough to protect him. Brometheus, for his part, misses yet again. Mungry resorts to biting Brometheus right on the chest, hoping to gain some purchase- and he does! But the iron mail prevents any real harm, and Brometheus merely pushes away the obnoxious assailant. The werewolf ineffectually slaps Mungry in the foot with the side of his sword. This is just getting sad. Mungry attempts an, uh, heroic charge at Brometheus, but only manages to knock himself to the ground, nearly unconscious. Brometheus, unable to harm the strangler on level footing, now finds an opening even one of his limited capabilities can handle. He slices the strangler nearly in half!  Mungry immediately passes out. But rather than finish the job cleanly with a decapitation, Brometheus clumsily stabs at the body, lodging his sword. As Brometheus struggles to free his weapon, Mungry eventually dies of blood loss. Truly, this was a clash of titans.  Combat Log
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May 10, 2012 21:29
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He died as he lived -- hungry. No regrets, little buddy.
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May 10, 2012 21:37
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Round Two, Match Twenty-eight Match Twenty-eight, Eyeteeth III (Revenant Threshold) vs. Jonathan Sebastian Smith (Fredrik1) Another werewolf, Eyeteeth III, enters the ring. He wields, bizarrely, an iron scourge and a copper war hammer. His only armor is a steel helm padded with a leather cap. Jonathan Sebastian Smith, the opponent, is a human swordsman. He carries a steel sword and oak shield. His armor consists of an iron helm, copper mail shirt, and hardened leather doublet. All things considered, this looks like a solid match-up!  The warriors advance, Eyeteeth III proving slightly quicker than Jonathan. The werewolf attacks, slashing with his scourge, but Jonathan jumps away. Eyeteeth advances, giving Jonathan an opening, but the swordsman misses his mark.  A series of rapid strikes follow as the warriors step in and out of combat, each dodging the other's strikes. Eyeteeth eventually forces Jonathan to use his shield to block, but the human slashes out with his sword in a counterstrike! This, too, misses. More strikes and dodges, scourge whirling through the air, sword sparking against arena tiles. Jonathan breaks the impasse with a charge, surprising his opponent and sinking his weapon into the werewolf's leg before colliding with him! The smaller human bounces back, unhurt, and Eyeteeth also maintains his footing, apparently unfazed. Jonathan follows up his success with a quick thrust of his blade, but Eyeteeth manages to slide out of the way at the last second.  The fight reverts to a back-and-forth test of speed and agility once again, both combatants just as fast on their feet as before. Several steps later, Jonathan rushes the werewolf again! Eyeteeth manages to parry the assault this time, but the collision is enough to stun both combatants. The gladiators stumble for a few seconds, then Jonathan attempts a clumsy strike, forcing Eyeteeth to back away. The werewolf gets back into the mix quickly, though, and soon the warriors are clashing as before. Unexpectedly, one of Jonathan's counters catch Eyeteeth unaware, and the long sword bites deep into the werewolf's lower leg, fracturing bone.  Somehow, Eyeteeth keeps up the pace, parrying and attacking as before, but several strokes later Jonathan goes for another low shot, this time crippling the werewolf's foot. Eyeteeth goes down, but lashes at Jonathan even as he falls, forcing the swordsman back. But Jonathan returns, more focused and aggressive than ever. His very next thrust cripples the werewolf's left arm, forcing Eyeteeth to drop his war hammer. Jonathan redoubles his efforts, slashing and punching viciously at the faltering werewolf. Still, Eyeteeth keeps up his guard, parrying half of the strikes and forcing Jonathan to make his own defensive maneuvers. But the swordsman soon strikes off Eyeteeth's right hand, leaving the werewolf completely helpless. Even as Jonathan cuts him into ribbons, though, Eyeteeth attempts to bite at the human, forcing him back one last time. Eyeteeth bleeds out shortly after, but will be remembered for his spirited attempt.  Combat Log
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May 10, 2012 22:25
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Not sure I get Eyeteeth's design there. Wanna weigh in, Revenant? I'm curious.
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May 10, 2012 22:42
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Brometheus. Truly, a God among wolves.
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May 10, 2012 22:58
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Vox Nihili posted:Hey Jazzimus, mind replacing the Robo-Prancer v Hugh Mann combat log on your site with the official version I put up on pastebin? Thanks Done. Glad that the fight had otherwise the same result... it would be a little bit of a pain in the rear end right now to roll back an official result and all the bets involved therein... I'll eventually have to get around to putting a feature on the site for administrators to automagically roll back a result for if/when this comes up again.
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May 10, 2012 23:42
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Boy am I sure happy Hugh continued to be a blood thirsty savage. Three fights run with him now and he's never gone for an easy kill, he just loves maiming and playing with them. What a sadistic fucker. He shall stay naked forever
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May 11, 2012 02:45
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Wow. Three more fights and Dies Horribly is up. Looking forward to it!
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May 11, 2012 06:34
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Out of the completed matches, I've won 676.63 dorfbux on an initial outlay of 700. I'm counting on Sir Smellsalot, Dies Horribly, and my own Socrates to bring me back to a positive balance.
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May 11, 2012 06:40
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Vox Nihili posted:fight  I... won? Well ain't this beginners luck. Fredrik1 fucked around with this message at 19:45 on May 12, 2012 |
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May 12, 2012 17:49
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I started looking through the thread to see the load outs for the next round and realized that its way to much work for my lazy arse. So I wondered if it would be possible to expose the equipment from the last round on arenachallenge ? Dunno if you track the history though and it would be no good to show the upgrades before the round starts so it might not be possible... anyway just an idea.
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May 13, 2012 18:01
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Round Two, Match Twenty-nine Match Twenty-nine, The Badgerconda (Revenant Threshold) vs. Scott Howard (Basil Brush) The Badgerconda, a serpent man, comes armed with both a copper whip and an iron scourge. He wears a steel helm, steel mail, and steel breast plate, but only leather armor on his extremities. Perhaps he hopes to return to his serpent roots. Scott Howard, werewolf, is geared with a full set of copper armor, a massive bronze two-handed sword, and a platinum war hammer. He is certainly a sight to behold- but can he DO anything with his heavy pile of equipment?  The fight begins as both warriors spring from their respective corners! The Badgerconda, though heavily-equipped, is somewhat less encumbered than his opponent and moves more quickly. He manages to open the fight with a decisive blow, slamming his scourge into Scott Howard foot! Iron smashes into copper, and the werewolf finds himself falling to the ground as the tiny bones in his foot give way. But he isn't through yet! Scott Howard attempts an attack from the ground with one of his heavy weapons, but the serpent man has no trouble parrying, then stinging the werewolf with a slap of his scourge. Instead of faltering, though, Scott Howard intercepts The Badgerconda's next attack- biting the serpent man in the hand holding on to his iron scourge!  The Badgerconda's primary weapon drops from his grip as Scott's mouth latches on firmly, though the serpent man retains his back-up whip. Now the tables have turned on The Badgerconda! He must free himself from his opponent's grip, or he risks being torn asunder by his stronger, heftier foe. The Badgerconda whips wildly at Scott, but the werewolf absorbs the blows in turn, then shakes the hapless serpent man about like a rag doll! Blood gushes from the serpent man's wrist, and it is certain that vital arteries and veins have been shredded, but Scott Howard loses the grip on his hand.  The Badgerconda attempts another strike, aiming at Scott Howard's upper arm, one of the only points of his body protected only by chain mail and not rigid armor. The iron whip hits with shocking ferocity, and the blow is effective, fracturing the bone! Follow-up strikes have no such impact, and merely glance off of Scott's armor. The werewolf is now in extreme pain- but what's this!? HE GETS TO HIS FEET! Somehow, his damaged foot, which betrayed him only moments ago, can now support him! But though he may seem a miracle-worker, the werewolf is still wobbly. A hit to his upper leg, which is armored only in copper mail rather than in more-sturdy plate greaves, again fractures the underlying bone. It seems that it's all Scott Howard can do to merely weather the rain of blows targeted at him, but with a sudden burst of energy the werewolf charges forward, knocking The Badgerconda to the floor, surprised but uninjured.  Scott Howard sweeps his huge bronze blade at the serpent man, but a crack of The Badgerconda's whip effects a vital parry. Now The Badgerconda rises, and Scott Howard charges again- but the serpent man is immediately out of the way, flinging himself to safety as the werewolf stumbles by on his injured limbs.  The gladiators reengage and circle for a moment, then, somehow, Scott Howards gets the jump on The Badgerconda, knocking him, stunned, to the ground. He rakes the serpent man's arm with his canine claws, but The Badgerconda's steel mail protects him. Then, suddenly, Scott Howards collapses, his pain finally too much to bare.  What a stroke of luck for The Badgerconda! The serpent man slides up to a vertical position atop his tail and begins laying into Scott Howard's body, striking at the head again and again with the copper whip. But the werewolf's copper helm is sufficient to negate the weapon, and blow after blow deflect harmlessly. The eleventh strike, however, finds a weakness in the helmet, and Scott Howard is slain.  Combat Log Vox Nihili fucked around with this message at 09:33 on May 15, 2012 |
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May 15, 2012 09:28
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Dirty Frank posted:I started looking through the thread to see the load outs for the next round and realized that its way to much work for my lazy arse. So I wondered if it would be possible to expose the equipment from the last round on arenachallenge ? Dunno if you track the history though and it would be no good to show the upgrades before the round starts so it might not be possible... anyway just an idea. I'm supposed to link all the matches in a post near the OP, but I've been lazy. You can always hit the "?" in the corner of my post to quickly scroll through all my posts in the thread. The first paragraph of the last thirty or so fights will have what you need, but yeah, it will be some effort. By the way, that last fight was the most interesting I have ever seen. I'm still not sure if Scott Howard healed his foot immediately after it was broken or what.
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May 15, 2012 09:33
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ZeeToo posted:Not sure I get Eyeteeth's design there. Wanna weigh in, Revenant? I'm curious. I have high hopes for Eyeteeth IV.
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May 15, 2012 15:00
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Revenant Threshold posted:I have high hopes for Eyeteeth IV. That's the spirit!
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May 15, 2012 20:45
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Sorry guys, tourney over, time to play d3
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May 17, 2012 02:52
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