quote:

Put your legs up. Loosen your tie. Pour yourself a cool refreshing glass of whiskey and light up that favourite cigar. Your in a for a real treat. The following attempts to document a car that defines its own genre of style and character. The article below is best read while listening to some smooth jazz such as the provided by clicking on this link. http://youtu.be/9C-8u5KH6kU

Man has climbed mount Everest. Gone to the bottom of the ocean. Has fired rockets to the moon. Split the atom. Achieved miracles in every field of human endeavour. And the pinnacle of his success is certain. The 1997 Volvo V70 2.0 Litre Petrol. In Blue.

But not everyone has the opportunity to own the car they always wanted. Only one lucky buyer amongst you will cruise away in a automobile that is almost guaranteed to get the neighbours talking.

This might just be the opportunity you have been looking for to get your very own world renowned Volvo V70.

Its the kind of car that’s the last thing you think of before you go to sleep. You get up before breakfast to look at it again. You inspect it daily- not for its obvious and numerous scratches but you inspect it with your own hands for the curved rugged feel of its steel and the aging grace of its body, the distinctive smell of its upholstery, the simple cheap honesty of its comfort and the feel of a easy riding seat that holds you like your favourite chair.

What’s more it has all those extras you need to be in pure luxury driving heaven.

Lets start with the power accessories- the perfectionist in you will love them all.

Electric Sunroof- a wonderful new way of giving a hardtop the character of a convertible.

Signal Indicators- an ingenious signalling system that allows those drivers behind you to know of your intention to turn either left or right.

Electric mirrors- confirm those second glances you will surely receive as you drive through town by adjusting not only the driving side mirror electronically but the passenger side too.

Heated Mirrors- just when you thought the Electric mirrors could not get any better.

Electric Windows- you are the captain as you choose which of the four windows receives fresh country air.

10 CD Disc changer- it may not work but that’s beside the point as it’s the image of it drilled it to the back of a seat that says you are a gentleman of simple taste and means.

But enough about its numerous electrical features lets discuss the unique and memorable interior.

The first thing you will notice as you step inside the Volvo V70 is the richness of character that only comes from a car with unknown numerous owners and over 135,000 of possibly genuine miles. Its saturated in history that lets you know instantly that this car has seen it all and lives to tell the tale. Seats and carpets boldly state alike that they too have seen 15 years of frontline action. Words can not describe the many surprises that awaits the new proud owner.

Features such as the always open petrol cap panel hint at the relaxed atmosphere of yesteryear. Fold down chairs in the back mean you can choose to convert the automobile into a perfect carrier of leisure equipment after only a couple of strenuous awkward movements. A retractable sun visor for the rear storage area means your Dom Perignom champagne stays chilled as you drive towards the sunny beaches of south France with your lady friend.

Just when you though the Volvo V70 could not get any better it also comes with the following FREE extras:

A worn spare tyre- A memento to the cars extensive history of driving pleasure.

Jack- A perfect companion to the worn tyre as without the jack you would still be driving the worn tyre.

Miscellaneous items such as golf balls and office stationary prove that its always been the vehicle of choice for mixing business with pleasure since its purchase many years ago.

Impossible to fully describe without first hand experience I have attempted above to capture the feel of what’s it is like to own a car that likes to chart its own road. You rediscover it everyday. Its all part of owning the worlds most glamorous car. This is how it can be for you.

But why trust a stranger you have never met? So let me provide you with actual quotes from some neutral source passengers and onlookers who have been graced with its presence in the two days I have owned it…

‘Well it runs’ - Previous owner

‘Its comfortable anyway’-Brother

‘Has it been crashed before?’ -Friend

‘At least its got an NCT for the next few months’ Father

‘Wow’ -Potential Romantic Interest

So if you’re a gentleman of renowned style and not afraid to make a bold statement call me today to discuss the particulars.

The Blue 1997 Volvo V70- It’s a simple choice.

blambert posted:

Make sure you play the jazz.

quote:

The ad, titled "Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ," has already been flagged for removal from the popular classifieds site, but not before it's exploded all over the internet.

quote:

1996 Audi A4 Quattro for repair or parts.
Needs timing belt and power steering pump.
2.8 6cyl, 5 speed gets 27+ mpg hwy (I averaged 24 with 50-60% city)
Bose Stereo, All Wheel Drive, Heated Front Seats, Door Locks, Exterior Temp. Thermometer, etc.
Silver Color
Web site for specs- http://www.audiworld.com/model/a4/96/a4.shtml
Extensive recent repairs including new:
Water pump(1200.), 3 of the 4 wheel bearings(1080.), front steering control arms-rf(900.),
Radiator and fan(1000.+), etc, etc., etc. Comes with spare ac compressor, which cost more than what I'm asking
for the whole car. Body is in very good shape. New tires.
Although at some point I will have repaired/replaced the entire car, I am a student on disability and can't afford this
anymore, as much as I love the way it drives. Need to get something cheap and inexpensive to fix.
Although this is an amazing car that handles like a dream, with full time all wheel drive,
and has helped me avoid more accidents with idiot drivers than I can count, I just don't have any more money left to keep driving it.
A mechanic or student with financially secure parents would be perfect new owners.
They tell me the timing belt is out now, along with the power steering pump, which is leaking, and I just don't have the money to fix it.
I need money for a down payment on something else or to
trade it for a cheap functional car, truck, or even motorcycle. Anything that will get me to school and back.
The car is currently at a shop in Houston.
God willing, someone will give it a new home, and appreciate it as much as I have.

Tremek posted:

Genuine gold:



Emailed the seller 1.5 hours after it was posted, but that was far too late of course. Sold already.

Tremek posted:

Genuine gold:



Emailed the seller 1.5 hours after it was posted, but that was far too late of course. Sold already.

Seat Safety Switch posted:

This post made me check my own local Kijiji. I don't think this one is as good of a deal

Q_res posted:

This would be genuine gold, if not for the "what the gently caress have you been smoking?" price.

DrPain posted:

It's clean as can be for a 22 year old vehicle. 220k on the frame and body, engine and tranny swapped from a 93 4runner with 120k AND HE HAS THE PAPERWORK TO PROVE IT!! No chips in the glass, new bigfoot tires, matching aluminum rims, I hit the loving jackpot.

FIRST TIME posted:

Am I missing something that suggests that there is even really a car for sale? I just figured that everything in the ad was completely made up.

BrokenKnucklez posted:

wilfredmerriweathr posted:

^^Gonna need a new steering wheel, though

MiniFoo posted:

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/csw/cto/2993684474.html



Someone, please save it.

keykey posted:

Small world man, my uncle was eyeing this exact same 4runner.

Dogtanian posted:

Oh boy. Would drive this everyday unironically and without shame.

I would drive this.
Would I drive this? I would not say no.
I would drive this in the snow.
I would drive this everywhere I go.

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

I honestly have no loving idea what to say about this:

http://richmond.craigslist.org/ctd/2983926864.html


It looks like they used a demotivational poster generator for the boarders and just failed. The sparkle text gifs are just the icing on the cake.

I saved the html so you can view in all of it's glory:
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B7wTHkLEPnewdVhRNHBJU24wOGM

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

I honestly have no loving idea what to say about this:

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

I honestly have no loving idea what to say about this:

http://richmond.craigslist.org/ctd/2983926864.html




It looks like they used a demotivational poster generator for the boarders and just failed. The sparkle text gifs are just the icing on the cake.



I saved the html so you can view in all of it's glory:
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B7wTHkLEPnewdVhRNHBJU24wOGM

Plek posted:

Oh wow, I didn't know Saleen made a Bullitt.

IOwnCalculus posted:

I do not think that word image means what you think it means.

chrisgt posted:

The best are the framed pictures that say
TITLE
Body

Obviously they used the generator to make the frame, but didn't enter any text, just left it blank and that's what the generator spewed out.

Abominable! posted:

I can't say I see these pop up all that often around here.
'78 Lancia Beta