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Dead Goon
Dec 13, 2002

No Obvious Flaws



I am making Lasagne for A GIRL on Sunday, is there any better recipe out there than the one in The Silver Spoon? (I have the book)

Not looking for anything mind blowing, just a nice, tasty Lasagne.

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Nifty
Aug 31, 2004

What are cool things to do with cauliflower?

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer
Roast it. Or boil and puree it with the water it boiled in for soup. Or puree it without the water and serve your protein on top of it.

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

Nifty posted:

What are cool things to do with cauliflower?

Soup with cheese and potatoes.

Curry, for instance aloo gobi.

Cook and puree.

Slice thin and make a gratin.

Make pakora.

Sautee with garlic, capers, and finish with lemon.

Grate and treat like cous cous.

off the top of my head.

HClChicken
Aug 15, 2005

Highly trained by the US military at expedient semen processing.

Stalizard posted:

The sharpmaker is used for sharpening knives, rather than honing them. It's a completely foolproof way to take the dullest knife and make it shaving sharp in just a few minutes, and it doesn't completely destroy your blade like one of those drag through a V sharpeners.

If the stones seem like they're dulling and you run them through the dishwasher regularly, try rubbing them together to rough them back up a little bit. He recommends in the DVD that you do it when you first get them, maybe it'll help when they're all gunked up.

e:f,b.

I'll try this again, I usually wash with ajax but I guess I should be rubbing together.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Nifty posted:

What are cool things to do with cauliflower?

Mash it with some other vegetable or by itself. Use some salt and lots of pepper if its by itself

HClChicken
Aug 15, 2005

Highly trained by the US military at expedient semen processing.

Dead Goon posted:

I am making Lasagne for A GIRL on Sunday, is there any better recipe out there than the one in The Silver Spoon? (I have the book)

Not looking for anything mind blowing, just a nice, tasty Lasagne.

Silver spoon is very good, generally with pasta dishes the best way to improve them is with fresh pasta. That's why I love the silver spoon version. If I had a pasta roller I'd make it more often seeing as doing it all by hand is so frustrating.

Dead Goon
Dec 13, 2002

No Obvious Flaws



HClChicken posted:

Silver spoon is very good, generally with pasta dishes the best way to improve them is with fresh pasta. That's why I love the silver spoon version. If I had a pasta roller I'd make it more often seeing as doing it all by hand is so frustrating.

Nice one, thank you. I was gonna give fresh pasta a try so hopefully it turns out well!

SubG
Aug 19, 2004

It's a hard world for little things.

Nifty posted:

What are cool things to do with cauliflower?
Kimchi.

I haven't run into a Brassica that doesn't work in kimchi, and it ain't for lack of trying.

bartolimu
Nov 25, 2002


Nifty posted:

What are cool things to do with cauliflower?

Cut into smallish pieces (2 bites or so per piece), blanch briefly, dip in seasoned flour then egg wash then bread crumbs, and deep fry. For ultimate central European authenticity, serve with tartar sauce and shaved raw onion. Personally I like it on its own or with a squeeze of lemon juice on top.

CuddleChunks
Sep 18, 2004

Merou posted:

Sometimes I get it, but it has to be really simple. Like a bit of salt sprinkled ontop of chocolate chip cookies. I get that. Seasoning a piece of meat I don't know what the gently caress is happening. The more seasoning the more confused I get.

Do you smoke? Do you have any allergies or problems that impact your sense of smell or taste? Any of these could dramatically alter your interaction with spices and seasonings to the point that you won't get much out of these things.

If you have a pretty normal sense of smell and taste then the suggestions in starting small and trying things out one by one are great.

A lot of the experience of eating is bound up in how food smells and many of these strong spices add a huge amount of scent - that's their trick.

Now, when do you use basil or oregano or thyme? What about marjoram or coriander or savory? Aw man, who the hell knows? That's what you're asking but for me I found that starting out by following recipes carefully and noticing how much of any particular item they used got me thinking about what was considered appropriate for the dish. Then I'd make it again and try using more or less of the same. Sometimes it was good, sometimes bad.

Go ahead and try things out, cooking is wonderful fun.

Yehudis Basya
Jul 27, 2006

THE BEST HEADMISTRESS EVER
Last night, I made vangi bhat from Julie Sahni's Classic Indian Vegetarian and Grain Cooking, which is spicy eggplant and rice. Since I've only done a tiny bit of Indian cooking, I followed the recipe fairly closely.

I've got a question about the first cooking step, the tarka. Sahni doesn't name it as such, but I saved one of dino.'s posts about this (see below). However, when making the vangi bhat, I followed Sahni's directions: I heated up sesame oil to medium-high heat, then simultaneously added black mustard seeds and black cumin. The seeds popped but not vigorously, and took nearly 4 minutes to do so! Was the oil not hot enough? Or did the actual choice of oil interfere with the splattering? She recommended a mild sesame oil, but I didn't want to buy another bottle of oil when I already had toasted sesame oil (Japanese, according to the bottle). I also cooked it in the only cooking vessel I own large enough to accommodate the full recipe, a 5.5 quart enameled dutch oven.

Perhaps I should have followed dino.'s post (bolding mine) from the thread about eating well without lots of money:

dino. posted:

In a wok or large skillet, heat the oil over highest heat. When the oil shimmers and moves around the pan easily, sprinkle in the mustard seed evenly across the surface of the oil, and STEP BACK. The mustard seeds will pop, and try to escape the pan. This is normal. To corral them in, slap on a splatter guard or the lid for the pot. Wait about 15 - 30 seconds for the popping noise to subside, and add the cumin seeds. Stir lightly for 15 seconds, and add the sesame seeds, the pinch or two of turmeric, and the chopped vegetables. Stir well. If you take too long to add your chopped vegetables, the sesame seeds will fly all over your kitchen, and the turmeric will burn, as will the rest of the spices. Be quick about it, and you're fine.
This implies that the tarka should be FAST. What are the advantages to a slower versus faster tarka? Part of me thinks that the faster tarka could cause more oils (or something) to be released during the popping since the heat difference is greater, but another part thinks that a slower tarka could ultimately result in the same amount of oils while reducing the chance for burning. Does this even dramatically affect the outcome? Yes, yes I am sperging, but I'm curious about tarka and don't want to remake the dish with a faster tarka, sue me.

Still tasted AMAZING though, so fragrant and spicy, especially with the homemade curry powder!

Force de Fappe
Nov 7, 2008

Steve Yun posted:

1) Either, 2) either, 3) umm... up to intermediate level I guess?

Okay, is this a dish that is to be served to a lot of people? Or as a part of a potluck or similar?

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
Everyone in the class is making a dish

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting
I've got a request for people who are better at cooking than I am. I love southern style chicken and dumplings. Right now mine involves cooking a chicken in water with mirepoix and whatever herbs I feel like that day. I use a cheese cloth bag for the vegetables so they're easy to remove with the chicken afterward, and then I thicken the broth with roux. Dumplings are a simple biscuit dough turned into thicken glutenous noodles.

I want to make this the best possible chicken and dumplings, but I really don't know how I should go about gussying it up. I've tried pan frying the dumplings for some extra flavor, but it didn't seem to do much. I've tried various herbs and that adds some complexity, but beyond that I'm kind of lost.

My idea right now to make it better is to just make the components separately. This means baking the dumplings a little for color, making a legit veloute, and roasting the chicken with some kind of herb but I'm not sure what. I want the star flavors to be chicken and black pepper in a creamy sauce with a dumpling of some kind. And at the end of the day, to me, it's like chili in that more effort with ingredients results in a better final product.

Is this all I can do? Can I get some suggestions as far as little boosts I can give it to push this dumb dish I love into something more interesting?

Cyril Sneer
Aug 8, 2004

Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.
So I picked up this half chicken because it looked tasty as hell and was on special:

http://i.imgur.com/LHr1Z.jpg

However I don't know how to cook it (there were no cooking instructions on it). How would I go about baking it in the oven?

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.

Yehudis Basya posted:

Last night, I made vangi bhat from Julie Sahni's Classic Indian Vegetarian and Grain Cooking, which is spicy eggplant and rice. Since I've only done a tiny bit of Indian cooking, I followed the recipe fairly closely.

I've got a question about the first cooking step, the tarka. Sahni doesn't name it as such, but I saved one of dino.'s posts about this (see below). However, when making the vangi bhat, I followed Sahni's directions: I heated up sesame oil to medium-high heat, then simultaneously added black mustard seeds and black cumin. The seeds popped but not vigorously, and took nearly 4 minutes to do so! Was the oil not hot enough? Or did the actual choice of oil interfere with the splattering? She recommended a mild sesame oil, but I didn't want to buy another bottle of oil when I already had toasted sesame oil (Japanese, according to the bottle). I also cooked it in the only cooking vessel I own large enough to accommodate the full recipe, a 5.5 quart enameled dutch oven.

Perhaps I should have followed dino.'s post (bolding mine) from the thread about eating well without lots of money:

This implies that the tarka should be FAST. What are the advantages to a slower versus faster tarka? Part of me thinks that the faster tarka could cause more oils (or something) to be released during the popping since the heat difference is greater, but another part thinks that a slower tarka could ultimately result in the same amount of oils while reducing the chance for burning. Does this even dramatically affect the outcome? Yes, yes I am sperging, but I'm curious about tarka and don't want to remake the dish with a faster tarka, sue me.

Still tasted AMAZING though, so fragrant and spicy, especially with the homemade curry powder!
With this sort of thing, following the recipe exactly would be necessary.

Couple of things to note: Indian sesame oil should NEVER be substituted with any other sesame oil. It's got a very particular flavour, and any other sesame oil will overpower the final taste, especially smoked sesame oil. If you don't have it, use regular cooking oil (canola, peanut, corn, etc), and add a few drops of the smoked stuff at the very end to give the flavour of the sesame. Til oil (also called "gingelly oil") which is Indian sesame oil, will stand up to more heat than the Japanese stuff. Smoked sesame oil's flavour is extremely powerful, and it doesn't care for high heats. I wish I'd explained this more in detail at some other point. If I haven't, let me say it now: don't trust anyone asking you to do a tarka that involves mustard seeds with any other fat except a high-heat fat.

My sister-in-law uses Indian sesame oil for her cooking, and I frequently dislike the amount of smoke that her tarka produces. It shouldn't smoke that much. However, she feels like the sesame oil gives better flavour, and doesn't care about the masses of smoke. I prefer to have an oil that can stand up to the heat, and then add the sesame oil for flavouring at the end, which is what it's best suited for doing in the first place.

Second. In most South Indian cooking, you don't cook the actual sesame oil itself, as the South Indian tarka involves mustard seed, which requires very high heat to pop sufficiently. North Indians, on the other hand, only have a passing acquaintance with mustard seed, which is why they tell you to do asinine things like heating up sesame oil for a tarka involving mustard seed, and adding both mustard seed and cumin seed at the same time. Mustard seed should always go first (when it's being used), and then anything else goes in, because they take so much longer to pop than any other seed. If they don't pop fully, the final dish turns out too strong and off-tasting.

Finally, doing any kind of tarka over a medium high heat assumes that you've got a super powerful flame that's sitting underneath a fairly thin kadai (or wok). Trying that mess over medium with a giant hulking brute of an enamelled Dutch Oven is asking for the thing to take forever and a day.

Whenever I or my mother are doing a South Indian type tarka, we'll put the pan over bare heat, while gathering the spices and the curry leaves, and giving the ginger a quick grate. Then, when the pan smokes, in with some fat, and lift off the heat. The fat of choice needs to be canola, peanut, or corn. It needs to be able to stand up to very high heat. Then, in with mustard seeds, swirl, and wait for about 10 - 30 seconds; swirl again. They will splutter, they will pop, and get all over the place. It's fine. Put the pan back on the stove. Then in with any other spice, like cumin, coriander, asafoetida, etc. Then in with the curry leaves. Then in with the ginger. FINALLY now you can add any powdered spices, like turmeric, paprika, ground red chile, etc. Why? Because the aromatics prevent the powdered spices from burning.

Bla bla more than one way to make a tarka, bla bla differences of opinion. There is a right way and the North Indian way to do things. :P

dino. fucked around with this message at 22:01 on May 12, 2012

Yehudis Basya
Jul 27, 2006

THE BEST HEADMISTRESS EVER
Thank you SO much, dino.! I've got some follow up questions if that's okay...

dino. posted:

doing any kind of tarka over a medium high heat assumes that you've got a super powerful flame that's sitting underneath a fairly thin kadai (or wok). Trying that mess over medium with a giant hulking brute of an enamelled Dutch Oven is asking for the thing to take forever and a day.
1) Alright, I won't use the Dutch oven monster again! :) Do you recommend obtaining a stainless steel pan that's 5-6 quarts in size with a lid that's also NOT heavy-bottomed? I guess I'm nervous about getting something without a heavy bottom because I'm imagining burning rice or something. I'm probably just being stupid.

dino. posted:

Whenever I or my mother are doing a South Indian type tarka, we'll put the pan over bare heat, while gathering the spices and the curry leaves, and giving the ginger a quick grate. Then, when the pan smokes, in with some fat, and lift off the heat. The fat of choice needs to be canola, peanut, or corn. It needs to be able to stand up to very high heat. Then, in with mustard seeds, swirl, and wait for about 10 - 30 seconds; swirl again. They will splutter, they will pop, and get all over the place. It's fine. Put the pan back on the stove.
2) So let the mustard seeds pop while the pan ISN'T actively on the burner? If the pan isn't heavy-bottomed, then it seems like heat will be lost too quickly and the mustard seeds won't have sufficient time to do their thing. Along those lines, it is to be expected that the actual sputtering/popping process can take more than 30 seconds? Oh my god I am such an idiot, I am so sorry.

dino. posted:

Put the pan back on the stove. Then in with any other spice, like cumin, coriander, asafoetida, etc. Then in with the curry leaves. Then in with the ginger. FINALLY now you can add any powdered spices, like turmeric, paprika, ground red chile, etc. Why? Because the aromatics prevent the powdered spices from burning.
3) When adding the cumin, coriander, etc., do you add those one at a time, or is it okay to dump them all in at once?

Thank you again for your help and, more importantly, patience. It must seem so simple and obvious to you! The next dish I want to try is tandoo kootoo, which Sahni describes as "Tanjore Broccoli and Mung Bean Stew with Coconut"- I've got nearly all the ingredients already, so it seems a sensible choice.

PhazonLink
Jul 17, 2010
Does anyone know of a food grade glue that can bond metal to plastic and can survive a hot and humid(as in steam) environment?

The knob on one of my lids came off and it seems like the screw won't secure it alone.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
Slightly bigger screw?

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
First and foremost, never feel shy or ashamed of asking questions. The reason it seems so natural and "obvious" to me is because I've been watching my mother do this sort of thing since I was old enough to toddle, and spent hours upon countless hours in her kitchen with her, cooking the entire time. She was trusting me to make meals for the family by the time I was in middle school, and this is a woman who's known far and wide for having exacting standards of taste. If you feel the need to ask more questions, it's because I haven't managed to explain myself clearly enough, so my apologies for that. :) If there's anything you think of, and you want to poke me personally, just shoot off an email to altveg@me.com and I'll do my best from there as well.

quote:

1) Alright, I won't use the Dutch oven monster again! :) Do you recommend obtaining a stainless steel pan that's 5-6 quarts in size with a lid that's also NOT heavy-bottomed? I guess I'm nervous about getting something without a heavy bottom because I'm imagining burning rice or something. I'm probably just being stupid.
See what I mean by not explaining myself well enough?

The thing with tarka is that you can ostensibly use any pot or pan you have in the house. I've even used cast iron to great results. If you're using a big hulking brute of a pot that takes a long time to have temperature adjustments go through, you'll just need to preheat it more.

Let's try this. Suppose I have a tiny little tarka pan. It'll be about 3 - 6 inches in diameter, and hold a total of about 1 cup. I'd put the stove on high flame, pop the tarka pan on, and get to work immediately, because it's going to heat up within seconds of touching the flame. I can easily control the pan itself, because it's faster to move the physical pan than to fiddle with the gas. So, to prevent the fat or the spices from burning, I'd move the pan further away or closer to the flame. That's how I'd control the heat.

Suppose I have a wok, or wide shallow skillet with decent handle. Suppose it's got a standard bottom for a wok or fry pan. We're not talking super thin, like the dollar store pans, but not super thick like cast iron. I can actually control the heat of the pot by adjusting the level of the flame, and to lesser extent, the electric stove. If I've got the heat so hot that the fat is smoking (specifically, the canola or peanut oil, that is), then I know the stove is on way too high, and I adjust the heat down. However, if I miscalculate my proficiency with my speed, and am moving too slowly, and need to cool down in a hurry, I can lift the whole entire pot off the stove, and move it to a cool spot for a bit to chill out. Because of the medium heat, it's equally efficacious to move the heat or to move the pot.

Suppose I have a big monster dutch oven. I know that the pot is not suited to quick changes in temperature either from moving it or from fiddling with the heat. In this case, I will want to err on the side of caution, and heat it up just shy of full blast, so that I can increase the flame if necessary, without risking a burnt mess. I would start the flame at like 7 (out of a possible 10), and let the pot preheat while I gather my ingredients. I pour in the fat, and swirl it around. If it starts smoking copiously and immediately, I've got problems, and need to dump out the fat, drop down the heat, and start over. If, however, when I add the fat, the fat just kind of sits there, and spreads out only slowly, my pot is too cold, and I'll need to let the temperature of the fat and pot increase to the point where the fat is shimmering and almost smoking.

This is OK. It'll take a bit, but it'll get there evenutally. I'll increase the flame to a 9 while the fat gets hot. If it's still taking forever for the fat to get hot, I'll crank it up all the way. If my fat isn't hot still, I'll crank up the heat to full blast, and cover the lid for about 30 seconds. At that point, my fat will be hot, and I'll be able to proceed.

With a dutch oven, you want the fat and pot to reach temperature before anything happens, because it doesn't like rapid adjustments in temperature. That is, if you want to drop down the temperature rapidly, you need to add more aromatics or water. This isn't necessarily possible or feasible during the tarka. For that reason, you fiddle with the temperatures, and get them just so before adding your spices.

That being said, once you're used to your stove and pot arrangement, it becomes a matter of moments with adjusting either variable. It's just more complicated to explain when I can't show you in person.

quote:

2) So let the mustard seeds pop while the pan ISN'T actively on the burner?
This is mainly an issue when I'm doing tarka in a tarka pan or a wok, because those pots tend to keep heating up, which I don't necessarily need them to do. I've found that if I pull the pan from the heat when adding the mustard seeds, it prevents the masses of mustard seed shrapnel from flying into my face. It's a personal preference. By the time the fat is hot enough for the mustard seeds to go in, the pan is plenty hot enough, and will carry the heat over.

The trick about removing the pot from the stove was passed on to me by a friend who used to watch me make my tarka for about two years, and wonder why hers never came out like mine. She finally realised that whenever I make my own, I always pull the pot from the heat just before adding the mustard seeds, which is why mine never burned. Once she cottoned on to that, she told me that I do it without realising, and that I wasn't including that step when explaining to others.

quote:

If the pan isn't heavy-bottomed, then it seems like heat will be lost too quickly and the mustard seeds won't have sufficient time to do their thing. Along those lines, it is to be expected that the actual sputtering/popping process can take more than 30 seconds? Oh my god I am such an idiot, I am so sorry.
If the whole mustard seed spluttering is taking longer than about 30 seconds or so, the oil isn't hot enough. That's fine. Let it hang out until they do so.

quote:

3) When adding the cumin, coriander, etc., do you add those one at a time, or is it okay to dump them all in at once?
My personal preference is this: cumin goes last, and whole seeds go before cumin, and any crushed seeds can be added at the same time as cumin. For example, if you had to do mustard, fennel, coriander, and cumin, you can do: mustard, fennel + coriander (whole), cumin, OR mustard, fennel, cumin + coriander (crushed). It's a personal preference, because I feel like cumin seed gets cooked awfully fast, and I prefer to give it the least amount of time possible.

quote:

Thank you again for your help and, more importantly, patience. It must seem so simple and obvious to you! The next dish I want to try is tandoo kootoo, which Sahni describes as "Tanjore Broccoli and Mung Bean Stew with Coconut"- I've got nearly all the ingredients already, so it seems a sensible choice.
Of course. I'm happy to help wherever I can. This stuff is really not as complex as you think it is. You will definitely get the hang of it. Just relax.

Also, the huge adjustments in temperature are a few degrees here and there. We're not talking about enormous changes, but rather subtleties that most people never bother paying attention to. I've paid attention to them, because I had to when I took on that fool project of writing a cookery book.

Yehudis Basya
Jul 27, 2006

THE BEST HEADMISTRESS EVER
You're amazing, dino. I can't possibly thank you enough for sharing your experience and knowledge; you've completely destroyed every other food author I am aware of when it comes to explaining this stuff.

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
Aw, shucks. To be fair, most other food authors don't get to talk directly with people, and have a back-and-forth interaction that lets them explain everything. :) Please, let me know if you have better luck in future.

Chemmy
Feb 4, 2001

PhazonLink posted:

Does anyone know of a food grade glue that can bond metal to plastic and can survive a hot and humid(as in steam) environment?

The knob on one of my lids came off and it seems like the screw won't secure it alone.

Put a lock washer on http://www.mcmaster.com/#belleville-disc-springs/=hifcv5.

mustermark
Apr 26, 2009

"Mind" is a tool invented by the universe to see itself; but it can never see all of itself, for much the same reason that you can't see your own back (without mirrors).
I wanna make (flour) torilla chips from scratch. I've got normal baking stuff and good whole wheat flour... where do I go from here?

paraquat
Nov 25, 2006

Burp

Cyril Sneer posted:

So I picked up this half chicken because it looked tasty as hell and was on special:

http://i.imgur.com/LHr1Z.jpg

However I don't know how to cook it (there were no cooking instructions on it). How would I go about baking it in the oven?

That does look good!
Just to be sure: it's raw meat still, right?
If so, and as its already seasoned: stick it in a preheated oven at 360-380 F for 30(-40) minutes

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting

mustermark posted:

I wanna make (flour) torilla chips from scratch. I've got normal baking stuff and good whole wheat flour... where do I go from here?

Next step is buy a tortilla press. I don't have a tortilla recipe personally, I just follow my fiancee's grandmother and buy White Wings. Also after you have homemade tortillas you may never buy another tortilla.

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...
Do people use a press for flour tortillas? I always roll them with a rolling pin because the press doesn't make them thin enough. I use the press for corn tortillas and smashing other things though.

Zira
Oct 9, 2007

You have a job! Karl has a job! What's my purpose?
Karl has a job!Karl has a job!
What's my purpose? What's my
You have a job! purpose?
What's my purpose?
What's my purpose?
Okay, this seems like the best place to ask.

I have family in my house, and a bottle of vodka. There is condensation in the bottle of vodka (40%/80 proof). Is this because some jerk family member put water in it, and thought that would let them get away with drinking it?

I got two different answers googling, and I don't know which are idiot teenagers trying to fool parents or not. One saying water, one saying a more concentrated vodka. Which is right?

Luminous Cow
Nov 2, 2007

Well you know there should be no law
on people that want to smoke a little dope.
Well you know it's good for your head
And it relax your body don't you know.

:420:
I'm baking this cake for my mom today. it says to add a package of chocolate pudding mix, but the box of the devil's food cake mix I got claims to have pudding in it already. Should I add the extra package of pudding anyways, or is that somehow going to ruin the cake? Normally I would throw it in there and see what happens, but I don't want to screw this up.

TychoCelchuuu
Jan 2, 2012

This space for Rent.

mustermark posted:

I wanna make (flour) torilla chips from scratch. I've got normal baking stuff and good whole wheat flour... where do I go from here?
You need some sort of fat, like lard/butter/oil. Here's Rick Bayless' recipe:

2 3/4 cups (3/4 lbs) flour
5 tbsp fat
3/4 tsp salt
~3/4 cup warm water

Mix the flour and the fat, then the salt and the water, and add the salted water to the flourfat until everything's damp (you might not need all the water). Knead until smooth then let it rest for half an hour. Split it up into 12 portions, roll them out, then stick them on a hot griddle. Flip them over when the bubbles that form have started to brown (ideally 30-45 seconds) then cook them another 30-45 seconds.

Then you can cut them up, salt them, stick them in the oven, and bake them into chips. Possibly you can just make them into chips when first cooking them by keeping the griddle at a lower heat and cooking for longer but I have no idea.

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

You need to griddle fry whole to set the dough, then cut into wedges and deep fry for chips

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting

FishBulb posted:

Do people use a press for flour tortillas? I always roll them with a rolling pin because the press doesn't make them thin enough. I use the press for corn tortillas and smashing other things though.

I prefer them thicker like that and it's what my fiancee's mexican grandmother does, which is as close to legit tortilla info as I can get personally.

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...
I just like them really thin and grew up on them that way (southern California) do I guess it's just personal preference.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat

Zira posted:

Okay, this seems like the best place to ask.

I have family in my house, and a bottle of vodka. There is condensation in the bottle of vodka (40%/80 proof). Is this because some jerk family member put water in it, and thought that would let them get away with drinking it?

I got two different answers googling, and I don't know which are idiot teenagers trying to fool parents or not. One saying water, one saying a more concentrated vodka. Which is right?

I have a dozen bottles of hard liquor and none of them have condensation. Not conclusive, but I'd be suspicious.

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

Zira posted:

Okay, this seems like the best place to ask.

I have family in my house, and a bottle of vodka. There is condensation in the bottle of vodka (40%/80 proof). Is this because some jerk family member put water in it, and thought that would let them get away with drinking it?

I got two different answers googling, and I don't know which are idiot teenagers trying to fool parents or not. One saying water, one saying a more concentrated vodka. Which is right?

Shake it up and Put it in the freezer. If it freezes or gets slushy it is suspect. 80 proof liquor should not freeze and should just get viscous at freezer temps.


FishBulb posted:

I just like them really thin and grew up on them that way (southern California) do I guess it's just personal preference.

Paper thin chips are a sign of machine made. Thicker usually means hand made. Like you said its a matter of opinion, but I'm partial to the more robust texture of a thick chip.

GrAviTy84 fucked around with this message at 19:36 on May 13, 2012

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...

GrAviTy84 posted:

Paper thin chips are a sign of machine made. Thicker usually means hand made. Like you said its a matter of opinion, but I'm partial to the more robust texture of a thick chip.

I'm not talking about chips, I'm talking about tortillas, I was just curious if people were able to get really thin tortillas with a press since I haven't had much luck. I guess that guy was asking about chips though. Still, I would prefer a thin chip too.

CuddleChunks
Sep 18, 2004

Zira posted:

I have family in my house, and a bottle of vodka. There is condensation in the bottle of vodka (40%/80 proof). Is this because some jerk family member put water in it, and thought that would let them get away with drinking it?

Speaking as a former jerk teen, someone has adulterated your vodka. Gravity84's method of throwing the vodka in the freezer is also an excellent test.

Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
Anyone have a really good crabcake recipe?

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Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

Halalelujah posted:

Anyone have a really good crabcake recipe?

Doesn't exist. :colbert:

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