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Ahh, God. I remember reading those books. Somehow they're even worse than her vampire necromancer were-whathaveyou series. There used to be sort of plots in the Anita Blake books but that quickly devolved to just a couple hundred pages of supernatural loving and erotic mind rapes. I used to read them to make myself laugh because drat that woman is creepy. I swear Hamilton has a closet full of stained fur suits. Not GRRM levels of creepy, you understand. Pear-Shaped Man is wayyy worse.
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May 18, 2012 23:43
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empty sea posted:Ahh, God. I remember reading those books. Somehow they're even worse than her vampire necromancer were-whathaveyou series. There used to be sort of plots in the Anita Blake books but that quickly devolved to just a couple hundred pages of supernatural loving and erotic mind rapes. I used to read them to make myself laugh because drat that woman is creepy. I swear Hamilton has a closet full of stained fur suits. You can pinpoint the downward spiral with Anita Blake as starting with her split from her ex-husband. After that the sex ramped up and got totally loving ridiculous, and she wrote her new fanboy husband into the series as Micah.  It's too bad, the first four or so books of the series were really decent.
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May 18, 2012 23:47
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...really? Then man, the comic book adaptation screwed it up all kinds of ways.
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May 18, 2012 23:52
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Have you guys read The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms? that one also has a few interesting sex scenes.
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May 18, 2012 23:57
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Waffle Ho posted:You can pinpoint the downward spiral with Anita Blake as starting with her split from her ex-husband. After that the sex ramped up and got totally loving ridiculous, and she wrote her new fanboy husband into the series as Micah. Yeah, they were kind of interesting. I would've even been able to handle the ridiculous supernatural sex scenes if she'd kept up with the crime scene/investigation plots. Instead we just got weirdo kink and so much sex that all hints of a plot were forgotten. Fanboy husband? Ugh, one of the creepiest scenes is Micah raping Anita in the shower with his giant were-leopard cock.
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May 19, 2012 01:03
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Thread's gettin good today.
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May 19, 2012 01:09
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empty sea posted:Yeah, they were kind of interesting. I would've even been able to handle the ridiculous supernatural sex scenes if she'd kept up with the crime scene/investigation plots. Instead we just got weirdo kink and so much sex that all hints of a plot were forgotten. Well hey, it can't be worse than Dominic Dee---she wrote her husband into her book RAPING the HEROINE 
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May 19, 2012 01:13
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Kinda makes you appreciate Brandon Sanderson's Mormon aversion to the concept that sex exists.
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May 19, 2012 01:18
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So are we American prudes for not liking all this otherkin sex and liking authors who have the sense to be chaste, or is it symptomatic of American prudism that these authors write all this lovely otherkin sex?
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May 19, 2012 01:22
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aeverous, crazypeltast, and anyone else who might be interested: here you go! Hope you enjoy, and I always love receiving feedback.
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May 19, 2012 01:24
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IRQ posted:Kinda makes you appreciate Brandon Sanderson's Mormon aversion to the concept that sex exists. Clearly you haven't read Warbreaker. 
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May 19, 2012 01:27
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IRQ posted:Kinda makes you appreciate Brandon Sanderson's Mormon aversion to the concept that sex exists. Hey hey hey, sex totally exists. Skaa are killed if they have sex with nobility. Thus, sex exists.
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May 19, 2012 01:29
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Silver2195 posted:Clearly you haven't read Warbreaker. Actually that's the only one of his I haven't.
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May 19, 2012 01:31
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Thanks Kylaer! I was actually considering rereading the books to catch all the assumed stuff I missed before. However the last 300 pages have really set me straight... 
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May 19, 2012 01:35
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EatDirt posted:Thanks Kylaer!
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May 19, 2012 01:42
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i am looking for some words that rhyme with reek and i heard you guys can help?
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May 19, 2012 02:05
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Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:i am looking for some words that rhyme with reek and i heard you guys can help? greek, bleak, leek, speak, sneak, beak, danys, peak, neap, meek, lemoncakes.
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May 19, 2012 02:10
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Maybe we should start recommending good books instead. Starting with fantasy, one everyone should have already read: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell.
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May 19, 2012 02:53
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Wild Cards: Fort Freak
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May 19, 2012 03:14
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A Darkness at Sethanon. 
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May 19, 2012 03:19
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Urdnot Fire posted:This thread is surprisingly good at turning people off from lovely fantasy novels. Well poo poo, tell us some good fantasy books to read; they're a pretty sorry bunch on the whole. Only things in the genre I've enjoyed of late are Pratchett and Zelazny.
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May 19, 2012 03:42
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whowhatwhere posted:Maybe we should start recommending good books instead. Starting with fantasy, one everyone should have already read: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell. I love this book but still see get a lot of poo poo around here, although it is a good sign the poo poo is always about being a slow starter/length as opposed to having creepy sex. I'm pretty sure the most liked fantasy series around here are Lies of Locke Lamora and The First Law stuff.
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May 19, 2012 04:44
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Wolfechu posted:Well poo poo, tell us some good fantasy books to read; they're a pretty sorry bunch on the whole. Only things in the genre I've enjoyed of late are Pratchett and Zelazny. Things you may have recommended to you that are actually mediocre or poo poo: Abercrombie Sanderson Rothfuss Things that you may have recommended to you that are loving creepy Bakker Rothfuss Bakker Bakker Fantasy books that might actually be worth reading: Catherynne Valente Gene Wolfe Ursula LeGuin Whoever wrote that Locke Lamora book probably, I haven't read it
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May 19, 2012 04:51
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Why is Gurm not on that list?
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May 19, 2012 04:54
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What about Malazan?
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May 19, 2012 04:55
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Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:i am looking for some words that rhyme with reek and i heard you guys can help? Oblique. Yeah, try and work that in GRRM you fat piece of poo poo. Also, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell is the amazing and everyone should read it all day every day. Mieville is pretty good, but his horror stuff is better than his fantasy stuff. Didn't Charles Stross do a good fantasy thing, or is he all sci-fi and I'm getting confused?
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May 19, 2012 05:03
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VaultAggie posted:What about Malazan? Malazan is good. I'm still not sure what the hell happened in any of the books, but I feel good about it. So, there's that.
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May 19, 2012 05:11
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VaultAggie posted:What about Malazan? I dunno, I bounced really hard off Deadhouse Gates because it felt like a Forgotten Realms novel and I hadn't read any of the sourcebooks, but people swear up and down it pays off. So I reserve judgment, having not actually read them. The names are dreadful, though, I feel confident making an authoritative declaration on this point.
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May 19, 2012 05:18
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You know what happens in Malazan? People get given the best nicknames ever. The dumb guy over there? Yeah, people call him Dim. The nervous guy who flips out all the time? Antsy. The guy with the fiddle? Fiddler. If nothing else, Malazan has a knack for instantly characterizing otherwise flat characters whose purpose is mainly to die horribly in a battle somewhere. You know someone has become important when they suddenly have more names or titles. Unless they immediately disappear from the story after gaining those extra titles. Which does happen. I'm expecting some of those ones to appear in the last book, but I'm still on Stonewielder yet, so Crippled God will have to wait.
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May 19, 2012 05:20
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IRQ posted:greek, bleak, leek, speak, sneak, beak, danys, peak, neap, meek, lemoncakes. This is a terrible list. Here you go Alfred (and GRRM if you're reading this): Sikh, leak, teak, pique, weak, seek, geek.
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May 19, 2012 05:26
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Seriously, Abercrombie's First Law was terrible writing, terrible characters, terrible plot, and like 2 genuinely not terrible world ideas. I have no idea why that poo poo is so recommended, but I'm glad I got them at the library and didn't actually buy the damned things. e: and those people in the Magicians thread pretending it's a good book? Don't let them fool you. It's interesting to read, but the writing is terrible and the plot would be GURM bad if it was longer.
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May 19, 2012 05:48
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Something legitimately good from the Baby's First Step thread:Saveron_01 posted:In the deepest part of House of the Undying: Blade_of_tyshalle posted:You know what happens in Malazan? People get given the best nicknames ever. The dumb guy over there? Yeah, people call him Dim. The nervous guy who flips out all the time? Antsy. The guy with the fiddle? Fiddler. If nothing else, Malazan has a knack for instantly characterizing otherwise flat characters whose purpose is mainly to die horribly in a battle somewhere. You know someone has become important when they suddenly have more names or titles. If Kylaer's rants bear any resemblance to reality I look forward to your reaction once you finish. Then again, you liked Mass Effect 3's ending, so... e: Makochuk posted:I love this book but still see get a lot of poo poo around here, although it is a good sign the poo poo is always about being a slow starter/length as opposed to having creepy sex. I'm pretty sure the most liked fantasy series around here are Lies of Locke Lamora and The First Law stuff. It's not a slow starter! It just has a different flavor before it gets weird. It's (in a very different way) similar to ASOIAF in that magic is gone from the world (yes, yes, only mostly etc etc) and is coming back. Since it's premised on that, though, it's not going to create the sort of dissonance that some people felt with ASOIAF's magic whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 06:25 on May 19, 2012 |
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May 19, 2012 06:04
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VaultAggie posted:What about Malazan? It starts out good then quickly becomes way, way, way, way too grandiose in the sheer amount of characters to keep track of that the story becomes ridiculously convoluted. Tracking the timeline of what's happening when is a nightmare, and by the end of ten novels you're left with very few characters to actually give a poo poo about. The best part about the novels are the Bridgeburners, and they ultimately don't play a large role.
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May 19, 2012 06:40
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Chunk posted:I thought the pink letter contained a ton of information that the NW guys wouldn't know. Ya I thought it up before I got to the letter so I've forgotten what exactly was in it.
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May 19, 2012 11:59
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whowhatwhere posted:Then again, you liked Mass Effect 3's ending, so... Oh, internet hyperbole.  The only phenomena I can think of where "not being mindlessly enraged at how lovely something is" slowly drifts into "thought it was pretty good."There is a grey area between love and hate, you know.
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May 19, 2012 12:13
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Octy posted:This is a terrible list. Here you go Alfred (and GRRM if you're reading this): Sikh, leak, teak, pique, weak, seek, geek.
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May 19, 2012 12:33
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Oh, internet hyperbole. So you thought it was lovely, but were expecting worse, or were just "ehn" about it?
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May 19, 2012 12:49
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It didn't particularly phase me either way. It sure was an ending!
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May 19, 2012 13:03
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I was fine with it. I cried a little. It was better than any ending GRRM would ever be able to write if he was ever able to write anything again.
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May 19, 2012 13:24
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Man, if only we could get Buzz Aldrin for the finale of the show to be sitting around with a young boy who wants to hear more about the Bolton, King of the Seven Kingdoms.
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May 19, 2012 13:34
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