|
I'm more aiming at whether they see themselves as permanent and whether that means tuyop is going to have to look for a job near her in whatever frozen wasteland she's in 
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 18:11
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 3, 2024 16:59 |
|
|
Mentally separating windfalls from one's regular income, savings, and debt is a fallacy and a very common problem for people who are seemingly doomed to constant financial misfortune and poverty. One's income is one's income. It includes both expected and unexpected money, paid out in regular paychecks and in lump sums, and from all sources including gifts, rebates, refunds, rewards, and pocket change fished out of the couch. One's expenses are one's expenses, and they include everything, including both regular (budgeted) living expenses and spur-of-the-moment, impulse purchases and such. Tuyop, you blew it because you looked at the $700 you had right now, and thought it was somehow special or different and therefore didn't apply to the fifty thousand dollars in debt. But it does. It's money already spent. You also looked at money you're expecting in the future and decided to spend it now... but you already spent it, last year, the year before, the year before that. You know that you tend to rationalize things. Both to justify actions in the past that you'd rather not feel guilty about, and to justify doing something that you want to do now. So... you need to start consciously recognizing "hey, I'm trying to rationalize this decision! That means it's the wrong decision." And of course it bears repeating: living on a budget and paying down your debts doesn't mean you cannot ever have any fun at all. It's miserable to live like that and probably psychologically impossible to maintain indefinitely. It does mean, however, that you have to budget your fun, and you also have to seek out cheap fun. You wanted to go see a This American Life show in Chicago! Cool! I like that show too. But going on a trip to another country (even by car) is expensive. Surely, surely there are ways to have fun with your girlfriend that are local. That don't cost you so much. You want to see your family too. Understandable. Plan in advance, budget in advance, and if necessary, explain to your family that you are tens of thousands of dollars in debt and can't afford to travel to see them and could they maybe plan a trip out to see you instead? I bet if you put it that way they'd be accommodating. ...or is it possible you haven't even told your family about your financial situation? I bet they suspect anyway, given that they know all about your globe-trotting adventures and probably realize you can't possibly have afforded it.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 18:46
|
|
|
tuyop posted:The job thing has gotten a lot less urgent. I'm going on permanent medical category. Ottawa has to evaluate whether I can serve in some other capacity for a period of time, or whether I should be released with full benefits (two years 70% salary and unlimited reeducation, medical care forever), or be released with partial benefits (medical care forever and some variation of full benefits above). Going on permanent category also involves a terminal posting, I'll probably go be a company 2IC at a school in Borden, where the girlfriend is posted. I'll get all my furniture back as well, and all the travel claims and posting bonuses that go into that. Either way I won't be unemployed anytime soon, think like 12-18 months, with lots of notice and six months of retirement/reeducation leave. At my normal rate of savings and repayment and selling the car next April, I could probably end up out of the army with <25k debt and a BEd and Masters of Education.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 19:35
|
|
|
tuyop posted:Vehicle is 2010 Mazda 3 sport GS/GT 2.5L Drop your collision and comprehensive. You'll still be covered for the damage you are responsible for to other people and things (which is the legal minimum), but your poo poo won't be covered for the damage you're responsible for. The only way I would be able to not justify dropping collision and comprehensive is if you still owe a shitton of money on your car. If you drop C&C and get into another accident in which you are at fault, you'll still have the loan but you won't have the car anymore. So if you don't owe a mint on the vehicle, get rid of C&C now.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 19:57
|
|
|
Fraternite posted:Drop your collision and comprehensive. You'll still be covered for the damage you are responsible for to other people and things (which is the legal minimum), but your poo poo won't be covered for the damage you're responsible for. Car loan was $25,550 last July. So it's probably around $20,000-$21,000 if my math is right and he's just been paying minimum payments (I think he has). E: Basically, that is a lot of money to gamble with for $1300 when he intends to get rid of the car next April and with his history.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 20:02
|
|
|
My family knows all about my circumstances. They think I'm doing great regardless though, because when they were my age they were bankrupt and unemployed with two year old me and my sister on the way, living in a trailer park. I guess I should keep that in mind.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 20:10
|
|
|
tuyop posted:My family knows all about my circumstances. They think I'm doing great regardless though, because when they were my age they were bankrupt and unemployed with two year old me and my sister on the way, living in a trailer park. I guess I should keep that in mind. You are negative dollars right now and not at all in a good financial place. You continue to make poor decisions with what money you do have and continue to rationalize your position and spending habits. Stop it.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 20:29
|
|
|
tuyop posted:My family knows all about my circumstances. They think I'm doing great regardless though, because when they were my age they were bankrupt and unemployed with two year old me and my sister on the way, living in a trailer park. I guess I should keep that in mind. Aren't you bankrupt and unemployed?
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 21:34
|
|
|
Dusseldorf posted:Aren't you bankrupt and unemployed? Yeah, but he also has a car he can't afford to pay for or insure - so he's ahead.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 21:37
|
|
|
Hey Tuyop, did you pay for that ticket yet?
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 21:40
|
|
|
tuyop posted:when they were my age they were bankrupt and unemployed with two year old me and my sister on the way, living in a trailer park. I guess I should keep that in mind. Now is the time to sacrifice so that you can build a future that's safe from hardship. The longer you wait the harder it is to secure your future.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 21:49
|
|
|
Hi tuyop. With zaurg gone, you're now officially the dumbest person in BFC. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Good luck!
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 22:39
|
|
|
I think you guys misunderstood. I'm saying that I am in a seriously bad situation, and I feel terrible for falling off the wagon. I just meant that my parents are not the best metric for success in your 20s, even though they understand and have lived my mistakes. Toeshoes and I have hopes and dreams and the only thing standing in the way is my debt (and the army). I hate myself for it, but it's not going to go away quickly no matter what I do. I wish I hadn't hosed up this month and gone on another stupid vacation that I couldn't afford. At least I'm only a month behind, in effect. That last leper flesh post was really good too. I've already spent all my windfalls years ago, that's a great way to put it.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 22:48
|
|
|
tuyop posted:I think you guys misunderstood. I'm saying that I am in a seriously bad situation, and I feel terrible for falling off the wagon. I just meant that my parents are not the best metric for success in your 20s, even though they understand and have lived my mistakes. It's all well and good to recognize your situation as dire and to have goals. It's another step to consciously make positive financial decisions in the face of wanting to make a poor one for a short lived gain. What's your plan for June? What are three things you can do to improve your footing over the next month? What are you going to do if you're tempted to blow money you don't have on something?
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 22:58
|
|
|
Higgy posted:It's all well and good to recognize your situation as dire and to have goals. It's another step to consciously make positive financial decisions in the face of wanting to make a poor one for a short lived gain. Yeah, tuyop seems addicted to instant gratification and impulsive behavior. He's got to learn a lot of self-discipline (and denial) to get his life back on track. Inability to think long-term is what makes people poor (and keeps them poor). I don't know how much of that is genetic and how much is learned behavior, but you're going to have to go on a crash course and learn all you can, tuyop. Otherwise you're doomed to living in a trailer, bankrupt and unemployed.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 23:08
|
|
|
Fraternite posted:Drop your collision and comprehensive. You'll still be covered for the damage you are responsible for to other people and things (which is the legal minimum), but your poo poo won't be covered for the damage you're responsible for. He may not be able to lose the C&C on his insurance. Loan agencies often require that protection as a condition of the loan until the car is paid off (at least in the US). Can't imagine it would be different with banks in Canada–it would be fiscally unwise to loan money to someone without requiring some form of C&C insurance.
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 23:16
|
|
|
Higgy posted:It's all well and good to recognize your situation as dire and to have goals. It's another step to consciously make positive financial decisions in the face of wanting to make a poor one for a short lived gain. Oh, well my hours have changed at work because I'm training my replacements. I can carpool and probably take 30% off my regular gas bill starting in June. There will be no trip to see my family next month. I've been trying to eat vegetarian because it's ridiculously cheap. I want to make every second day a vegetarian day and see how that works out, maybe expanding it as I go. I love gallo pinto, but it's really high calorie and I'm trying to lose weight. Bean or tuna salad would totally work, though. Obviously I spent my fun money in West Virginia and DC, so that's gone for June and July. I need to run the numbers, but I don't think I can save 700 from my regular expenses in a month. I think 350 may be possible though, and I'll be able to keep that up through July. I may be able to save: 60 in gas 100 in groceries (this may be wishful thinking, we shall see) 160 in fun I also rationalized the trip by thinking about how much I've saved by not smoking. I might have been thinking about it as a reward, I'm running low on vices so I needed to fall back on something!
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 23:19
|
|
|
tuyop posted:. . . I'm running low on vices so I needed to fall back on something! There. This right here. Read this statement then look at your finances then look back at this statement. How are your debts? What's your goal to put towards them in June?
|
|
#
?
May 26, 2012 23:24
|
|
|
tuyop posted:I'm running low on vices so I needed to fall back on something!
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 01:27
|
|
|
I might be wrong, but isn't being a vegetarian sort of expensive? Assuming you mean "Still eating healthy" and not "Pasta and potato chips!" vegetarian.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 01:42
|
|
|
Wandering Knitter posted:I might be wrong, but isn't being a vegetarian sort of expensive? Assuming you mean "Still eating healthy" and not "Pasta and potato chips!" vegetarian. I eat on a quarter of the budget by myself that omnivorous husband and I do, now that we're back in the states. I don't know about canada and prices.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 01:57
|
|
|
Wandering Knitter posted:I might be wrong, but isn't being a vegetarian sort of expensive? Assuming you mean "Still eating healthy" and not "Pasta and potato chips!" vegetarian. It is if you're oddly averse to eating any kind of frozen or preserved vegetables.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 02:00
|
|
|
I think Tuyop is going from "fresh veggies only, plus meat" to "fresh veggies only" which is definitely less expensive. Actually, I vaguely recall a month or three back him saying he dared to eat a frozen spinach and it didn't kill him, so maybe he's even going with frozen stuff too. The cheapest meat is chicken and even if you only buy whole chickens, it's still less expensive to switch to beans and rice.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 02:31
|
|
|
Huh, guess I'm wrong. I guess my "Only eat fresh organic from Trader Joe's" friends threw my numbers off.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 03:01
|
|
|
Wandering Knitter posted:Huh, guess I'm wrong. I guess my "Only eat fresh organic from Trader Joe's" friends threw my numbers off.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 04:43
|
|
|
Wandering Knitter posted:Huh, guess I'm wrong. I guess my "Only eat fresh organic from Trader Joe's" friends threw my numbers off. My partner and I eat mostly vegetarian for cost reasons, because we do the whole "local, sustainable, organic meat" thing and it's too expensive to eat more than, say, once a month. We eat really well on $300-$350 a month, and that includes my stupidly expensive gluten-free pasta, bread, etc. (I have celiac disease, not imagined-gluten-allergy-itis, for the record.) We buy organic and local produce where we can, including a small CSA share during the summer, and we buy our dry goods in bulk. Tuyop, if you want to save money on your groceries, Bulk Barn is your best friend. Rice, beans, flour, spices, pasta, whatever, all for really cheap.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 05:25
|
|
|
Dogfish posted:We eat really well on $300-$350 a month, and that includes my stupidly expensive gluten-free pasta, bread, etc. (I have celiac disease, not imagined-gluten-allergy-itis, for the record. Get hookworm. No, seriously. It'd save you money on all this special gluten-free stuff 
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 06:08
|
|
|
Nam Taf posted:Get hookworm. No, seriously. It'd save you money on all this special gluten-free stuff Did you actually read the study? I mean I realize you were joking of course, but: quote:Conclusions So uh, no, the hookworm didn't help. Also half of the test subjects who actually got the hookworm (rather than placebo) had "transiently painful enteritis" so that sounds great.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 08:11
|
|
|
Leperflesh posted:I think Tuyop is going from "fresh veggies only, plus meat" to "fresh veggies only" which is definitely less expensive. Actually, I vaguely recall a month or three back him saying he dared to eat a frozen spinach and it didn't kill him, so maybe he's even going with frozen stuff too. Maybe if you skip organ meats and other healthy, super cheap cuts of meat. Seriously, where I lived last year I could get beef hearts for $7 or less, each making 3+ steaks at least as good as any expensive cut, just required more work to trim. Plus liver is ultra cheap and about the healthiest thing you can eat.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 09:24
|
|
|
Leperflesh posted:Also half of the test subjects who actually got the hookworm (rather than placebo) had "transiently painful enteritis" so that sounds great. You're right, I should've read that particular link more thoroughly. NCBI seems to be a far more complete article on the study, and reports that: quote:Increased levels of CD4+CD25+Foxp3+ cells in the circulation and mucosa are associated with active celiac disease. We show that this accumulation also occurs during a short-term (1 week) oral gluten challenge, and that hookworm infection suppressed the increase of circulating CD4+CD25+Foxp3+ cells during this challenge period. My understanding of the trial results is that although the patients experienced no significant suppression of pathology (that is, they still had writhing pains in their guts after eating 4 slices of bread a day), it is thought that this is due to the volume of gluten and low number of hookworms (15 total). Although pathological response was not affected, the underlying T cell production was and that's what the trial was primarily shooting for. It's also telling that not one of the patients had their hookworm removed at the end of the trial despite that enteritis. So yes, I was joking in that it's not a simple solution but the null result in pathology doesn't adequately describe the changes that were detected during the trial. Who knows - although the hookworms themselves aren't powerful enough, the underlying phenomenon driving the T cell changes might be usable in drug form. Anyway, I need to shut up. Sorry about the derail 
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 09:32
|
|
|
You can save a lot of money if you just don't gently caress around with all that dumb fake pasta and fake bread stuff, celiacs is like a gift from nature liberating you from all the gross processed crap that you aren't supposed to eat anyway.  I meant going from frozen veggies and meat every day to frozen veggies and beans and rice every day. Maybe replacing the rice with something with fewer calories. Meat is absolutely the most expensive category of food that I buy, and I go with bulk stuff from Costco. Edit: Last night my uncle died.  I'll be going back to Halifax this weekend for the funeral.
tuyop fucked around with this message at 12:32 on May 27, 2012 |
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 12:17
|
|
|
tuyop posted:You can save a lot of money if you just don't gently caress around with all that dumb fake pasta and fake bread stuff, celiacs is like a gift from nature liberating you from all the gross processed crap that you aren't supposed to eat anyway. It's not fake bread or fake pasta? It's just made from a different source. It's not like we're talking about soy "meat" for vegetarians. quote:I meant going from frozen veggies and meat every day to frozen veggies and beans and rice every day. Maybe replacing the rice with something with fewer calories. Meat is absolutely the most expensive category of food that I buy, and I go with bulk stuff from Costco. White long grain rice, cooked, has like 200 calories or so for a cup.  quote:Edit: Last night my uncle died. I'm going to try to be as kind as possible about this. You do not have the money to go that far, especially after your random $750 vacation. I missed my grandmother's funeral because it wasn't possible to get there. Either you're going to have to tighten your belt even harder than you are this month to go, or you're going to have to not go and sacrifice it. This is probably going to screw you on gas money, whatever you're expected to bring for the funeral, etc, etc. So uh, really, you need to take a step back and realize you literally can't even afford to go to a family funeral and instead you decided to run off and take a vacation. Condolences and all, but this is a perfect example of why the way you spend is such a bad thing, man. I realize you've said you realize the vacation is a bad idea too, but I want to draw this comparison to make it even more obvious and hopefully drive it home a little more, you know? I really am sorry about your uncle.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 13:53
|
|
|
Sorry about your uncle Fluffy Bunnies posted:White long grain rice, cooked, has like 200 calories or so for a cup.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 14:15
|
|
|
tuyop posted:You can save a lot of money if you just don't gently caress around with all that dumb fake pasta and fake bread stuff, celiacs is like a gift from nature liberating you from all the gross processed crap that you aren't supposed to eat anyway. I had a long rant typed out, but you know what? Your uncle just died, you don't need me to yell at you. I was back home in Halifax myself in March for the same reason, and it was awful. But, in future, when someone's trying to offer you good advice, for free, out of the goodness of their heart, maybe you shouldn't poo poo on them. I am healthy, despite a medical condition that isn't a "gift from nature" but instead makes me 400% more likely to die of stomach cancer despite my current gluten-free lifestyle. I eat a diet rich in a variety of nutrients that's lightly supplemented with processed grain products like gluten-free pasta (ingredients: organic brown rice, water) and baked goods I make myself from a mixture of non-wheat flours. I'm not overweight, I have lots of energy, and I feed myself and my spouse on $300/month. So please don't talk to me about "gross processed crap" and what I'm supposed to eat.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 15:17
|
|
|
tuyop posted:Edit: Last night my uncle died. Terribly sorry to hear that. Having said that, you literally cannot afford to go there. Remember what I asked before? higgy posted:What are you going to do if you're tempted to blow money you don't have on something? Granted, in this case, it's not "blowing" money on something. But it's still spending money you don't have. You don't have the money to make this trip.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 17:58
|
|
|
Hey BFC, you know when I said if you haven't spent money you didn't have on a girlfriend in your early 20's you haven't lived? Yeah, I can't even really imagine the mindset that leads someone to skip your parent's brother's funeral because you can't spare the  . Okay, you'll have to pay 20% over the cost of the trip in interest and it'll be that much harder to get out from under. You still do it, because you're not a gigantic miser.tuyop: now get a plan before BFC nags you to death because aside from the gigantic goonrush into shaming you out of going to a direct relative's funeral they have a point.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 18:07
|
|
|
Adar posted:Hey BFC, you know when I said if you haven't spent money you didn't have on a girlfriend in your early 20's you haven't lived? Well if he had actually planned or saved or, you know, not spent money he doesn't have on yet ANOTHER vacation, he wouldn't have to worry about whether he could afford to go to his uncle's funeral. I'd be more offended if he DIDN'T go to his uncle's funeral. He obviously has no problem spending the travel money. And who the hell goes on a "business trip to Cape Breton"? He's in the army! This guy is the Casey Serin of vacations.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 19:22
|
|
|
Thanks for the condolences. The trip is only about 100 in gas and my parents might be able to help. My uncle was also a pretty great man, I knew him very well and my parents are devastated. I have a (small) emergency fund for this kind of thing and it won't be devastated by it, and my replacements are pretty much trained at work so I can take the vacation day, so I'm going.paperchaseguy posted:And who the hell goes on a "business trip to Cape Breton"? He's in the army! This guy is the Casey Serin of vacations. It was "professional development". We focused on taking pictures of sheep frolicking around Fort Louisberg and eating fish from local restaurants. We also saw the world's largest ceilidh fiddle. I'm going back next month for "adventure training" along the Cabot trail (read: camping and eating free lobster, literally). I spent six days in the office so far this month. Adar posted:I'm more aiming at whether they see themselves as permanent and whether that means tuyop is going to have to look for a job near her in whatever frozen wasteland she's in And this, no, as far as I know my girlfriend isn't planning on staying in for life. We're most likely going to stay posted together as long as I'm on medical benefits following release. Once she's done training and has enough experience to challenge her civilian qualifications, we've talked about moving North for awhile (her as a mechanic, me as a teacher) or overseas doing TEFL. That's all when and if we get debt free and can make it work with our lives at that time. I think that's 3-5 years out. If she stays as a vehicle tech then she'll probably be posted to an army unit in Edmonton, Shilo, Petawawa, or Gagetown after a two years. With my luck it'd be Shilo. tuyop fucked around with this message at 21:09 on May 27, 2012 |
|
#
?
May 27, 2012 20:59
|
|
|
Glad you're going to your uncle's funeral but I will be pretty drat disappointed if you didn't learn anything from this. You need to stop spending money when you don't actually have them to begin with or budget for. Your girlfriend will have to Suck It Up when you can't go on that pretty sweet bimonthly vacation because hey you don't have money due to your irresponsibility in the past which you are supposed to be fixing. So yeah, again if you don't learn anything for this then you might as well lock this topic and live your life in your car just to save that sweet $700 a month for your weekly vacation that you just gonna have to take. Adar: yeah, I get it. You haven't lived until you blow money that you don't have on your girlfriend but nobody is telling him, "rear end in a top hat you don't get to see your uncle because you blow all your phat loot you shameful scrub." People are scolding him for spending what he can't afford once again and going on yet another vacation... again. I've lost track of how many time he has gone on vacation with his girlfriend or to see her. This is retarded and the roosters are coming home now.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2012 03:39
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 3, 2024 16:59 |
|
|
I spent 77 dollars on gas for the funeral. 50 of it came from grandmother as a birthday present. And I bought a 9 dollar tie because I forgot mine here. I'm now on permanent medical category, which means that I can expect a release message in 12 months. When I get the message I'll know what kind of benefits I can expect from my release. My CO may decide to release me before that medical release comes, then I'd get the benefits from Ottawa after being released. I don't know how that kind of release category affects employment in the future in the public sector. It's very scary, but I'm sure I'll have an answer in the next ten days or so. I'm now in the process of moving to a new no-fee bank (PC Financial/CIBC). I'll have to keep my student loan and credit card at my old bank (TD Canada Trust) but everything else including savings should get moved over. I've never done this before, so let me know if anyone has any tips for streamlining the process. I've had my pay deposit moved over using the cheques they gave me at PC. It should deposit the pay for the 15th into the PC account. I went today to Scotiabank, where my car loan is, and tied the automatic withdrawal stuff to my PC account. That's the only bill I have that does automatic withdrawal. I have to add all of the bills that I now pay through TD. I'm going to leave both accounts open this month so that I can make sure all the automatic stuff is working, then I'll move all my funds into my chequing with TD and write a cheque and deposit into my PC account, then I'll close my chequing account with TD. I'm on week two of rice and beans now. It's getting kind of old and I'm pretty hungry all the time, but you really can't argue with the cost. I spend < 3 dollars a day on food. And I don't DO anything so I don't really need to eat much.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2012 20:58
|
|