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That can't be his natural voice. He had to have trained it in order to claim his throne as King Dweeb.
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May 31, 2012 19:22
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nuncle jimbo posted:you just put [img*]http://i.somethingawful.com/images/wildcards.png[/img] without the asterisk in your title The filesize is too big?  My day is ruined.
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May 31, 2012 20:21
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nuncle jimbo posted:And I couldn't make it under 60k or whatever for some reason, otherwise everyone in this thread would have gotten it. I saved the file and it's only 15.8k. If I save it as PNG-8 instead of PNG-24, that drops to 5.384k with very little quality loss. Here's the upload. whowhatwhere posted:That can't be his natural voice. He had to have trained it in order to claim his throne as King Dweeb. The natural acidity of the lemoncakes GRRM ingests interacts chemically inside his stomach with the artificial preservatives from his low quality pizza toppings. This creates an abundance of helium in his blood stream, giving him his trademark squeaky voice.
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May 31, 2012 20:34
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Tony Danza Claus posted:Awesome. Now I need the GRRMiest GRRM.txt "Who doesn't enjoy a Myrish swamp"
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May 31, 2012 20:54
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I kind of want to change my username to Myrish Swamp Thing. Maybe I'll just do my xbox live name instead.
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May 31, 2012 21:02
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Just copy paste the entirety of the Pear Shaped Man as your title, thanjs in advance Then put on some wayfarer shades and we'll go from there
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May 31, 2012 21:11
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"Vice is nice, but incest is best."
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May 31, 2012 21:15
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"The queen slid a finger into that Myrish swamp, then another, moving them in and out." "Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm. Whilst you snored I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all those pale, sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs." The Anime Liker fucked around with this message at 21:32 on May 31, 2012 |
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May 31, 2012 21:27
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nuncle jimbo posted:And I couldn't make it under 60k or whatever for some reason, otherwise everyone in this thread would have gotten it. I would be very cross to find my traditional Schwarzenegger had been replaced by that fat gently caress smacking his lips.
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May 31, 2012 21:36
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:I would be very cross to find my traditional Schwarzenegger had been replaced by that fat gently caress smacking his lips. Yeah I just got this Carcettifinger, I want no part of Gurm licking off crackling grease.
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May 31, 2012 21:55
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 "One of her nipples found its way between his lips. It was pink and hard and when he sucked on it her milk filled his mouth, mingling with the taste of rum, and he had never tasted anything so fine and sweet and good." 
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May 31, 2012 21:58
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Tony Danza Claus posted:
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May 31, 2012 23:09
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Yessss. Over/under until avatar replacement with red text: 4 weeks. e: actually, no, your previous suggestion was better: Tony Danza Claus posted:"Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm. Whilst you snored I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all those pale, sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs." whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 00:46 on Jun 1, 2012 |
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Jun 1, 2012 00:43
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drat shame that can't be edited down enough. I'd buy it too.
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Jun 1, 2012 00:56
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How much smaller could you make it, resolution-wise, before it becomes too small to tell what's going on? e: also, the spoiler thread has reminded me that Sansa's forced marriage to Tyrion is coming up next season. This naturally raises the question of how they'll handle the wedding night. I know one person who's really looking forward to it, and it'd be so sad to have his dreams crushed:
whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Jun 1, 2012 |
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Jun 1, 2012 01:10
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My prediction is that Tyrion won't even try to go there with her and will be super chivalrous about it and Sansa will keep her clothes on. Mainly because Sophie Turner is still under 18 and Tyrion is enough of a fan favorite that they won't want him to come off as a chomo.
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Jun 1, 2012 01:33
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chomo = child molester? where's the first o come from? Also: dammit, HBO, think of the merchandising opportunities! Tyrion signature edition dildos!
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Jun 1, 2012 01:40
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whowhatwhere posted:chomo = child molester? where's the first o come from? I dunno, but having a parent who worked for the county attorney's sex crimes division I sure used to hear that word a lot. (There was also an attorney there who preferred the term "diddling the kinder")
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Jun 1, 2012 01:49
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The fact that both Tywin and Tyrion are fan favorites is going to be very entertaining 
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Jun 1, 2012 01:52
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whowhatwhere posted:chomo = child molester? where's the first o come from? I know a dude whose family name is Chomos. It'll be a laff riot if he ever winds up in prison. 
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Jun 1, 2012 02:02
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Tony Danza Claus posted:
This. Is. Amazing. Somebody make this work for TDC.
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Jun 1, 2012 03:41
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BEHOLD! I can't believe I did it on my first try. The Anime Liker fucked around with this message at 04:03 on Jun 1, 2012 |
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Jun 1, 2012 03:44
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IT LIVES! e: Oh my god. That name. whowhatwhere fucked around with this message at 04:01 on Jun 1, 2012 |
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Jun 1, 2012 03:54
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:BEHOLD! That's it. Nobody can possibly top that. Just close the thread. (again)
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Jun 1, 2012 06:09
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Lovely, though it's a shame Hodor couldn't be glistening wetly.
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Jun 1, 2012 06:13
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Urdnot Fire posted:Lovely, though it's a shame Hodor couldn't be glistening wetly. 18 character limit! 
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Jun 1, 2012 06:26
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The Bad Thread pays unto Lichard Soultax his due: a thousand screaming children to power the hell-servers of Something Awful.
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Jun 1, 2012 07:13
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Radical new theory: Remember what Old Nan said Hodors real name was? Its Walder. He is a secret Frey. You can tell because he has the characteristic Frey virility (can cary Bran around forever, huge dong). Zombiecat is going to kill all of the Freys until Hodor and his giant swinging dong are lord of The Twins.
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Jun 1, 2012 07:14
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run DNC posted:Radical new theory: Remember what Old Nan said Hodors real name was? Its Walder. He is a secret Frey. You can tell because he has the characteristic Frey virility (can cary Bran around forever, huge dong). Zombiecat is going to kill all of the Freys until Hodor and his giant swinging dong are lord of The Twins. A preview of the end of the last chapter of the last book: Bran sagged among the roots, exhausted. It was done. The Others were defeated, Westeros was saved. And soon, he would no longer need his frail–huge, strong hands wrapped around Bran's neck. He opened his eyes for the first time in many moons, and saw Hodor towering over him. The giant's monster dong glistened wetly in the dim light of the cave, and behind it, Bran could see the broken bodies of Meera, Jojen, Summer, and Brynden. The young greenseer gazed up at his dull-witted protector, and managed to squeeze one last syllable, like a turd, out of his mouth before his windpipe was crushed. "Why?" Hodor looked down at Bran with cold intelligence twinkling behind his eyes, not even bothering to reply. His hands twisted with a dull crunch, and the young Prince of Winterfell was dead. His mummer's farce ended, finally as useless as nipples on a breastplate, and the giant smiled. "Heh."
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Jun 1, 2012 07:29
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Tony Danza Claus is dead, long live A GLISTENING HODOR, rising from the ashes of a thousand crying chomos; this day shall live on in infamy and we were here to bear witness.
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Jun 1, 2012 07:55
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I had the gurmiest dream last night.  I don't know if it's werid or not, but my dreams often switch from first person to third person so at some point I'm somebody and do stuff and the next this same person is doing stuff independently and I'm only observing. It's also pretty usual for my dreams for one person to change into another, so I'm not sure if I/the main character of this dream was GURM for the entirety of the dream, but I think so. It started with me going into some forest located on a hill (I think some kind of skiing place was nearby). There was a muddy road that ended into particularly thick set of trees and at the end of the road a black car was parked - pretty big one but still not a van. There were large black plastic sheets around and the place in general had the feeling of some stash of secret information or something in an action flick. I opened the car from the back and started to search it. There was a lot of stuff and lots of black plastic sheet there too. At that point some kids showed up, they were probably some hikers or something. I told them to go away, because I saw serious, perhaps Russian-looking men coming this way! I dove into the back of the car and under the plastic sheets. The kids eventually started to leave although the thugs came and asked what they were doing. Apparently they knew I should be somewhere here and searched for me. One kind pointed into the car, but a thug was just "ugh, get out of here stupid kid". The men had guns, so it was pretty serious. One of them started to peek into the car and I prepared to lunge at him the moment he spotted me in order to break his neck. The whole moment felt like from a Jason Statham movie. I suppose they didn't find me, because the next moment the car was driven into some large hall where tens or hundreds of people were seated in front of a large movie screen. I was still in the back of the car and observed what secrets they didn't want me to know they were about to watch. At this point I was definitely Gurm. The movie came on and the screen was filled with THE GURM'S NAKED BACK AND rear end. You know how his head and face looks because of those almost-white tufts of hair? That's what his back, his rear end and the backs of his thighs looked like. The Gurm was in a shower room or a bathroom or something and conversing happily with someone (probably his wife) about the great ideas he had for ASoIaF, how the show has worked out and how everybody likes him and will like him when more books come out. Essentially, the video was about the Gurm's private life. Somebody had secretly filmed it in order to show it to that audience there. By some weird dream logic, the point was to show how dumb the Gurm was at home (especially naked) so that nobody would like his stories anymore and would ridicule him. Anger flashed in me. I dove out of my hiding place and attacked one of those three men that came to the car in the forest, presumably their leader. Can you believe what my battle cry was when I started to strangle him? It was YOU'VE WOKEN THE DRAGON! Still shouting that, I turned to another man and beat him to death with my fists. Next to one of those men was Emilia Clarke, who started screaming that she was no part of this, that she was forced to be there and that she didn't want to ruin the Gurm's reputation (or really whatever it was that video was filmed for). The dream ended with me/GURM and Emilia backing slowly out of the hall - I had drawn a gun at some point and kept some man a hostage. What I can't remember is if the dream was green.
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Jun 1, 2012 09:19
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bigmcgaffney posted:Tony Danza Claus is dead, long live A GLISTENING HODOR, rising from the ashes of a thousand crying chomos; this day shall live on in infamy and we were here to bear witness. Didn't he post a lot in the Reddit thread? Anyone reading back through is going to be very confused. 
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Jun 1, 2012 10:16
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bigmcgaffney posted:Tony Danza Claus is dead, long live A GLISTENING HODOR, rising from the ashes of a thousand crying chomos; this day shall live on in infamy and we were here to bear witness. Let Tony Danza Claus, your servant, be born again from the Myrish Swamp, as you were. Bless him with pizza, bless him with shitdick, bless him with glistening manhoods. What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and GRRMier. Devorum fucked around with this message at 12:21 on Jun 1, 2012 |
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Jun 1, 2012 11:57
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:BEHOLD! His arousal arouses me. Long like the King in the Buff!
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Jun 1, 2012 13:08
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And I thought that this thread was never going to top Gregor P.I., but this is even better. Where is the nipple quote and the semen-eating quote from? I don't recognize them.
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Jun 1, 2012 13:49
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Syncopated posted:And I thought that this thread was never going to top Gregor P.I., but this is even better. Where is the nipple quote and the semen-eating quote from? I don't recognize them.
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Jun 1, 2012 14:05
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I don't remember the nipple thing at all, but the sticky princes bit has been lodged in my mind for ages. It's not just gross, it's ineffective as a contraceptive, too.
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Jun 1, 2012 14:13
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:I don't remember the nipple thing at all, but the sticky princes bit has been lodged in my mind for ages. It's not just gross, it's ineffective as a contraceptive, too.
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Jun 1, 2012 14:15
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The "sticky princes" is like 5 words after "myrish swamp" shows up. The breast milk bit is the lead in to "fat pink mast." I think the worst poo poo got buried by the shock of the buzzwords. Fly Molo posted:Didn't he post a lot in the Reddit thread? Anyone reading back through is going to be very confused. Yep. A lot of my posts in that thread are also now ASOIAF spoiler bombs. 
The Anime Liker fucked around with this message at 14:22 on Jun 1, 2012 |
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Jun 1, 2012 14:19
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It is absolutely creepy, I feel because she's taking such delight in annihilating Robert's line. She hates him just so much she'll sleep with him just to have that moment of joy as she scoops it all out and destroys it. Ughhhh.
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Jun 1, 2012 14:24
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