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Not going to lie. His rap sheet is funny as hell to read. I wish mine was that entertaining. Sadly, I have gone three years on this site without a single probation. Truly I am the most pathetic Wild Card  Edit: Oh poo poo! New page. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 14:41 on Jun 11, 2012 |
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Jun 11, 2012 14:39
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I gotta agree with Ozma though, the sig is dumb, TDC. I think the main reason is because you include an image that your avatar is made from, and the other image is really high/large. Not that my sig is any better. Anyways bookchat: Waiting to hear a lot about Dorne in the next book. To me, GRRM is making Dorne like it is reflected: don't hear or see much about it during one book, but like the viper in the grass, it pops out and snatches up Young Griff. Stay Safe fucked around with this message at 16:51 on Jun 11, 2012 |
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Jun 11, 2012 16:46
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After just finishing AFFC and reading the Darkstar discussion it just makes me laugh. He really did just cut off a girls ear and then gently caress off into the desert as soon as poo poo went south. RIP ARYS OAKHEART. May you bone many Dorne princesses in heaven. Also that dude with the huge axe. gently caress-off-axe man splitting Knightsguard man like he was butter.
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Jun 11, 2012 17:00
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Areo Hotah is how you write a loving badass 
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Jun 11, 2012 17:20
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I really want Darkstar to appear in another book, but completely different and suddenly a competant badass. Let's Malazan it up in here. 
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Jun 11, 2012 17:25
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Only if Hotah immediately slices him in half, then fucks off to Essos to avoid Winter.
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Jun 11, 2012 17:26
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:I really want Darkstar to appear in another book, but completely different and suddenly a competant badass. Let's Malazan it up in here. Oh yeah, did you finish that series yet? How as the ending?
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Jun 11, 2012 17:49
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Still working on the Crippled God. I took a break so I could read the Power of Babel, which is a very interesting book about language and how it changes. I'm thinking of picking up this guy's other books now. Thanks, Xiahou Dun!
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Jun 11, 2012 18:10
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SMP posted:- I got "spoiled" (twice) on something that never happened in the books. (spoiled incase this is something from future books) Casterly Rock got burned down by Dany and her dragons. Where did this come from? I kinda did this to my roommate. He's in the middle of reading Storm of Swords and during the S2 finale when Dany visits the House of the Undying and walks through the burnt-out Irone Throne room, I turned to him and said "I wonder what season this'll show up in" and now he's convinced that it's going to happen in one of the later books even though I won't deny/confirm it.
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Jun 11, 2012 19:20
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What was the deal with Hotah anyway? Where is he supposed to be from? He was cool and all, but he's clearly not Dornish and his internal monologue sounds like he was raised in some slave-warrior farm or something, which makes no sense since the kingdoms ban slavery.
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Jun 11, 2012 20:17
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LeftistMuslimObama posted:What was the deal with Hotah anyway? Where is he supposed to be from? He was cool and all, but he's clearly not Dornish and his internal monologue sounds like he was raised in some slave-warrior farm or something, which makes no sense since the kingdoms ban slavery. He is from Norvos, one of the nine free cities of Essos. Somewhere near Pentos or something. He was a "Bearded Priest", basically Norvos buys unwanted little boys and trains them into bad rear end warrior dudes.
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Jun 11, 2012 20:26
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syndex posted:He is from Norvos, one of the nine free cities of Essos. Somewhere near Pentos or something. He was a "Bearded Priest", basically Norvos buys unwanted little boys and trains them into bad rear end warrior dudes. Sounds like GRRM's Friday night
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Jun 11, 2012 20:41
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Doctor Spaceman posted:Dorne is really loving dumb in AFFC, it either needs to be cut or given some content. Dorne - inexplicably moreso than anywhere in Danyland - seems like something from a completely different series of books. It's really jarring. Qarth and Mereen are ridiculous but Dorne is deep in the uncanny valley with its Darkstar and Sand Snakes.
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Jun 11, 2012 21:14
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Sand Snakes are introduced. Sand Snakes are locked up off screen. *crickets*
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Jun 11, 2012 21:47
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Got a new THEORY I've been working on. I've been looking more and more and Lemore and it seems she's kind of the thread that could untangle the whole mess if tugged at enough. Let's say that Lemore is Ashara Dayne. There's quite a bit of circumstantial evidence that points to this. So Ned rides up to the Tower of Joy and kills Arthur Dayne and co. He finds Lyanna dying and takes her child and makes some kind of promise to her. Probably to take care of her son. He takes Dawn, Arthur Dayne's ancestral sword, back to Starfall and delivers it to Ashara Dayne. Dayne has just given birth as well, to another Stark bastard. (Likely from the Stark she was with at the Tournament of Harrenhal as recounted by Barristan Selmy. That would either be Brandon, Ned or Benjen.) Now Ned's got the baby Targaryen bastard and Ashara's got a baby as well. Maybe, just maybe, the Targ that Ned has has purple eyes and silver hair. And maybe the Dayne/Stark child is full-on Stark looking. Ned and she swap babies, because Ned knows the Dayne/Stark baby looks enough like him that people will assume he's his bastard. People might put two and two together if Ned shows back up with a Targ-looking baby and the baby will be killed since Targs all have a bullseye on their head. He's promised Lyanna he'll take care of the child and this looks like a prime opportunity to put it somewhere it can be raised safely, as Targs and Daynes look similar. The Dayne/Stark baby is Jon Snow. Ashara has lied to Ned, however, and she soon fakes her death and spirits the Targ baby away. This is why Ned is distraught over his promise to Lyanna; he's not certain if the child is alive or not. That child is actually young Griff/Aegon. Lemore is Ashara and she has taken care of him the whole time. The real question here is why Ashara would be willing to give up her own son for a Targ heir. There are a few possibilities, one being the chance to undermine the rebellion that caused her brother to be killed. The father of Jon in this theory would likely be either Benjen or Brandon and not Ned. Not long after Ned returns to Winterfell, Benjen takes the black. Why? Because he fathered an illegitimate child and was ashamed? Possibly.
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Jun 11, 2012 22:03
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You've been beaten to the punch, I'm afraid. Benjen's a new twist though. Main problem is that Benjen would barely be past puberty in the books. e: doomisland posted:Sand Snakes are introduced. Sand Snakes are then dispatched all over the Seven Kingdoms to wreak havoc upon it in ADWD.
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Jun 11, 2012 22:11
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The ultimate twist would be that Jon Snow really is just Ned's bastard. Nothing special at all.
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Jun 11, 2012 22:15
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:The ultimate twist would be that Jon Snow really is just Ned's bastard. Nothing special at all. If Sansa can imagine Sandor kissing her, why can't Ned imagine the "promise me" thing?
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Jun 11, 2012 22:17
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whowhatwhere posted:Sand Snakes are then dispatched all over the Seven Kingdoms to wreak havoc upon it in ADWD. Ambiguatron posted:If Sansa can imagine Sandor kissing her, why can't Ned imagine the "promise me" thing? 
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Jun 11, 2012 22:22
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Doesn't Benjen say something like "come back after you've fathered a few bastards of your own" when Jon asks about joining the Nights Watch?
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Jun 11, 2012 22:36
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Urdnot Fire posted:I don't recall any havoc being wrought in ADWD. No, no, they were dispatched in ADWD to wreak havoc.
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Jun 11, 2012 22:37
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whowhatwhere posted:No, no, they were dispatched in ADWD to wreak havoc. run DNC posted:Doesn't Benjen say something like "come back after you've fathered a few bastards of your own" when Jon asks about joining the Nights Watch?
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Jun 11, 2012 22:42
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Perhaps Benjen said that because he zealously joined before he'd ever been with a woman and really regrets not at least going out and living life a bit.
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Jun 11, 2012 22:44
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Only Ashara Dayne would have been older than him, possibly by quite a lot. And while GRRM has a thing for sex scenes involving vastly younger women, he doesn't have anything for sex scenes with vastly younger men. Can you imagine GRRM masturbating to it while crafting the backstory? If yes, then Benjen is a plausible theory. If not, it's either Brandon or Eddard.
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Jun 11, 2012 22:47
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I like the idea of Ned forming the "promise me" memory in order to push away the idea that his idolized, perfect older brother would cheat on his betrothed, now Ned's wife, and father a bastard with the sister of the man Ned had just killed. He probably wouldn't find it as shattering that his rebellious sister would run away with a prettyboy who isn't known throughout the realm for being a drunken womanizer.
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Jun 11, 2012 22:58
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Ambiguatron posted:If Sansa can imagine Sandor kissing her, why can't Ned imagine the "promise me" thing? Except wasn't that confirmed as GRRM just forgetting what he wrote? The cholesterol is clogging his brain, just as the poo poo is clogging his dick. Besides, that's loving dumb even by ASOIF standards. Oh, that promise that Ned held dearer than anything else? No, that's was just an invented memory caused by him repressing how his brother banged a lady. Cuz it was so traumatic. 
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Jun 11, 2012 23:38
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Was it? I don't remember such confirmation.
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Jun 11, 2012 23:39
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Fly Molo posted:Except wasn't that confirmed as GRRM just forgetting what he wrote? The cholesterol is clogging his brain, just as the poo poo is clogging his dick. Besides, that's loving dumb even by ASOIF standards. Oh, that promise that Ned held dearer than anything else? No, that's was just an invented memory caused by him repressing how his brother banged a lady. Cuz it was so traumatic. Who knows what the promise was? "Ned, promise me... promise me you'll... take the kettle off the stove... if it boils dry, the tea will burn..." "Ned, promise me... promise me you'll... finish learning the lute... you loved it so much as a boy..."
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Jun 11, 2012 23:51
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whowhatwhere posted:he doesn't have anything for sex scenes with vastly younger men. I was going to point out Jon loving Ygritte, but then I remembered they're only a year apart. Were they a year or two years apart? Doesn't matter, GRRM will eventually write a scene with a young man doing it with an older woman. He's covered every other weirdass fetish so far and now all he needs is bestiality, necrophilia (we get a double-whammy of that and incest with Zombie-Jon loving Dany), and of course younger man fucks older woman. If it is some form of sexual deviancy, the Gurm will make sure it appears in this series. He is the Gurm. whowhatwhere posted:Can you imagine GRRM masturbating to it while crafting the backstory? This is all he ever loving does when he writes!
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Jun 11, 2012 23:52
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Who knows what the promise was? "Ned, promise me..." *sex scene* That crosses off guro AND necrophilia!
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Jun 12, 2012 00:04
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What is guro? Make me regret having asked that.
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Jun 12, 2012 00:54
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Contra Calculus posted:If it is some form of sexual deviancy, the Gurm will make sure it appears in this series. He is the Gurm. So the Winds of Winter have a Melisandre chapter where she fucks Ghost and sprogs shadow direpups which gently caress up Others like a black bestial tide. Ghost is so exhausted from canine lust that he turns grey and everyone calls Ghost the Grey Ghost now because people nickname everything of the night is dark and full of terriers.
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Jun 12, 2012 01:03
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Guro is horrible enough that I'm not linking images of it in here. Go to the channel if you really want examples. But basically, have you ever been exposed to eroticised pictures of gore? Women being cut up and things like that? That's guro.
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Jun 12, 2012 01:21
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Contra Calculus posted:GRRM will eventually write a scene with a young man doing it with an older woman.
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Jun 12, 2012 01:27
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whowhatwhere posted:Guro is horrible enough that I'm not linking images of it in here. Go to the channel if you really want examples. But basically, have you ever been exposed to eroticised pictures of gore? Women being cut up and things like that? That's guro. I might be misremembering but didn't we already get this with Ramsay? rejutka posted:So the Winds of Winter have a Melisandre chapter where she fucks Ghost and sprogs shadow direpups which gently caress up Others like a black bestial tide. Ghost is so exhausted from canine lust that he turns grey and everyone calls Ghost the Grey Ghost now because people nickname everything of the night is dark and full of terriers. This will be the punchline to end the entire series. That's what it's all building up to. All the pain, death, war, torture, and misery is just to build up for that punchline and that punchline only. This whole franchise is just one massive media troll. I swear to god it is.
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Jun 12, 2012 01:27
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whowhatwhere posted:have you ever been exposed to eroticised pictures of gore? Women being cut up and things like that? That's guro. Soooo... Dominic Deegan?
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Jun 12, 2012 01:31
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We got close, but it was just things like flaying a finger, with the worst being implied. Guro would be, say, penis-torture (I looked up guro trying to find an example I felt wouldn't get me banned, and stumbled upon chan-threads specifically devoted to cutting off the penis in a variety of...inventive ways) or vivisection of one of Ramsay's prisoners (ditto).
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Jun 12, 2012 01:32
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Contra Calculus posted:He's covered every other weirdass fetish so far and now all he needs is bestiality, necrophilia (we get a double-whammy of that and incest with Zombie-Jon loving Dany), and of course younger man fucks older woman. I thought we got bestiality with the fake Arya and Ramsay Bolton. Didn't Theon go on about having to service her orally and then something about a dog? Or have I just read so much GRRM that I don't think there isn't a perversion he hasn't already written about?
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Jun 12, 2012 01:34
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We didn't see anything involving a dog, but heard her say something about dogs.
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Jun 12, 2012 01:39
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whowhatwhere posted:Guro is horrible enough that I'm not linking images of it in here. Go to the channel if you really want examples. But basically, have you ever been exposed to eroticised pictures of gore? Women being cut up and things like that? That's guro. Welp. Why are all the grossest fetishes in japanese? I mean that's more rhetorical than serious, but goddamn.
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Jun 12, 2012 01:41
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