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I just noticed the Unsung Heroes section. They're pictures with a sentence or two, so there isn't much to link to.quote:Gerald Carnes whipped out his jumper cables and started the car of Jennifer Barrett while reassuring her that it was okay, women do stupid things like leaving their lights on all the time. quote:Phil Grayson celebrated 15 years of manning the old glory hole in the South Royalton Rest Area men’s room. quote:Thom Cargill kept his tuberculosis under wraps so as not to be a downer during the flight from Hong Kong to L.A.
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Jul 29, 2012 23:16
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Jul 30, 2012 11:33
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Corrections:quote:Possession quote:Humbaba quote:Offspring quote:Meatless Chili quote:Flawlessness
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Jul 30, 2012 14:39
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Wendy's Wants Consumers To Know It's Fine With Gays, Disapproves Of Interracial Marriage The last line slays me.
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Jul 30, 2012 21:39
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Didn't see this posted (or at least a forum search for the title had no hits). It's one of my favorites: I'm A Cloud Factory! Also: Millions and Millions Dead
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Jul 30, 2012 22:43
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Zugzwang posted:The phone in the main picture for this reminded me of another gem: Samsung is taking their legal advice from The Onion: Samsung Product Chief: ‘It’s Unreasonable That We’re Fighting Over Rectangles’ http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2012/07/samsung-chief-product-officer-q-and-a/
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Jul 31, 2012 00:04
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D is That Guy posted:Short and sweet My all time favorite fake porno title from the Onion is "Butt gently caress Sluts Go Nuts vol 5". This is pretty good too.
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Jul 31, 2012 01:24
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The Onion hates your childhood and wants you to feel bad, rear end in a top hat. Dying Lion Sure Doesn't Feel As Though He's Completing Some Great Cosmic Circle.
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Jul 31, 2012 01:46
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El Negocio posted:The Onion hates your childhood and wants you to feel bad, rear end in a top hat. This is so sad.  In other news,  Sex House - Ep. 4 - Extended PreviewJay's continued failure to have sex with Tara is very ... conspicuous. I wonder if he's in the closet; it would make so much sense. my god I can't remember the last time I've cared this much about a real TV show
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Jul 31, 2012 01:54
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Lysidas posted:In other news,
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Jul 31, 2012 02:22
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El Negocio posted:The Onion hates your childhood and wants you to feel bad, rear end in a top hat. I came here to post this, I think it's my new favorite. Funny but it's just dark at the end. 
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Jul 31, 2012 21:37
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Pretty dark in the beginning and the middle too.
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Jul 31, 2012 23:14
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Lysidas posted:Corrections: All Is Lost Last week, The Onion reported that all our troubles are over, when in fact all is lost. We regret the error.
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Aug 1, 2012 01:34
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Nation's Lower Class At Least Grateful It Not Part Of Nation's Middle Classquote:"Imagine how traumatic it is to grow up feeling like a failure because you think you have some kind of control over what you achieve in life," said Dana Joerger, a 31-year-old waitress and single mother of three in Stockton, CA. "I just hope and pray my family never falls into the endless cycle of disappointment that plagues our middle class."
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Aug 1, 2012 18:27
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Another one of their non-news video bits. 100 iPhones Found In Lake - Lake Dredge Appraisal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_uPu6colaI&list=UUfAOh2t5DpxVrgS9NQKjC7A&index=2&feature=plcp It's not incredibly funny, but it's worth it for the last bit.
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Aug 1, 2012 19:11
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"d[-.- posted:b" post="406143628"] gently caress yes, I'm so glad they did another one of these.
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Aug 1, 2012 19:16
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 I found this to be the best part of the article. Found it hilarious, but like the Lion one, depressing.
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Aug 2, 2012 03:09
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Sex House Episode 4, and a preview for episode 5. "This is a disaster."
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Aug 2, 2012 18:47
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I don't want this show ever to end!
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Aug 2, 2012 21:13
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Oh my god they're all going to die.
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Aug 2, 2012 21:39
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It is actually pretty bold and clever of The Onion to reimagine Huis Clos as a reality show.
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Aug 2, 2012 22:54
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Cuttlefish Party posted:It is actually pretty bold and clever of The Onion to reimagine Huis Clos as a reality show. You know, the thought has come to me that Sex House does take place in Hell. And with Jay and Tara not being able to do it, everyone avoids Alex's come-ons, while Frank and Erin, the least-likely of the contestants to have sex actually doing it and destroying their lives in the process, it does seem like Sartre's "Hell Is Other People".
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Aug 2, 2012 23:50
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I want to thank this thread for giving me the heads up on Sex House. I never remember to check the site for content, I just follow The Onion's Facebook feed. This is amazing.
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Aug 3, 2012 00:25
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Smiley! posted:Sex House Episode 4, and a preview for episode 5. Sex House is, beyond a doubt, one of the best things the onion has ever done, and I usually don't really like their videos that much.
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Aug 3, 2012 01:51
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My personal theory right now is that Alex is a plant. Whoever's in charge tasked her with infiltrating the group to encourage sex.
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Aug 3, 2012 02:40
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:My personal theory right now is that Alex is a plant. Whoever's in charge tasked her with infiltrating the group to encourage sex. There's definitely something going on with Alex, she's too... focused to be as normal as everyone else, she hasn't stopped going for sex during all of this. I'm not completely sold on the idea that she's a plant, but it's a distinct possibility.
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Aug 3, 2012 03:56
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Sex House now has a thread in TV IV!
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Aug 3, 2012 04:27
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Cleretic posted:There's definitely something going on with Alex, she's too... focused to be as normal as everyone else, she hasn't stopped going for sex during all of this. I'm not completely sold on the idea that she's a plant, but it's a distinct possibility. I think it's just that she's the stereotype of the inde/punk rock/alt girl camwhore, and the prototype of person who thrives on these reality shows. She needs to be the center of attention and her validation is other people finding her sexually attractive (which no one in the house does), so she comes of as off-putting and desperate. Basically, she's the sex-craving side side of the cast of Jersey Shore.
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Aug 3, 2012 04:50
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Vincent posted:I think it's just that she's the stereotype of the inde/punk rock/alt girl camwhore, and the prototype of person who thrives on these reality shows. She needs to be the center of attention and her validation is other people finding her sexually attractive (which no one in the house does), so she comes of as off-putting and desperate. Basically, she's the sex-craving side side of the cast of Jersey Shore.
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Aug 3, 2012 05:39
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Vincent posted:I think it's just that she's the stereotype of the inde/punk rock/alt girl camwhore, and the prototype of person who thrives on these reality shows. She needs to be the center of attention and her validation is other people finding her sexually attractive (which no one in the house does), so she comes of as off-putting and desperate. Basically, she's the sex-craving side side of the cast of Jersey Shore. That's my opinion, too. She's almost the straight man in this case, to the WTFery of locked doors, mold, and Erin.
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Aug 3, 2012 06:16
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Badminton World Rocked By Worst Scandal Since Dad Tapped Aunt Carla's rear end With Racket http://www.theonion.com/articles/badminton-world-rocked-by-worst-scandal-since-dad,29031/
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Aug 3, 2012 07:55
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 Such a cheap gag, but amazing.
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Aug 3, 2012 15:47
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Local Lutheran Minister Loves To gently caress His Wife.
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Aug 3, 2012 17:53
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This one is adorable.  quote:One terrified onlooker said he watched the creature use its razor-sharp mandibles to tear through the leaf of a 100-foot-tall oak tree as though it were paper.
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Aug 3, 2012 19:34
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Oh man, this is a good one: Hungary's Szilagyi Pulls Off Upset In—Christ, One More Week Of This? "As of press time, an imponderable number of forgettable accomplishments, flat jubilation, insipid comments, and bland observations are slated to recur countless times during the unfathomable abyss of Olympic events scheduled for the next seven goddamn miserable cock-sucking assholes days."
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Aug 3, 2012 19:34
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KittenParade posted:This one is adorable. Single Bee Sends Gathering Of Humans Into Helpless Panic
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Aug 3, 2012 19:50
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Haha, this is fantastic. quote:"Emily is a good, kind, Christian woman," Snowdon added. "But let there be no mistake: She is also one furious gently caress-mama, as well."
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Aug 4, 2012 06:49
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Some of my military friends on Facebook made me think of this one: Man Who Fought For Americans' Rights Demands Americans Stop Exercising Their Rights
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Aug 6, 2012 03:37
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Not my favorite video that they've done, but it's always good to see them branch out into a new category of parody news: Onion Weather Center: Extreme Storms To Rip Through Godforsaken Midwestern Wasteland EDIT: This one's great though: In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A poo poo? Lysidas has a new favorite as of 20:52 on Aug 6, 2012 |
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Aug 6, 2012 20:45
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Michele Bachmann Thankful No Americans Died In Sikh Shooting loving brilliant.
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Aug 6, 2012 23:34
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