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SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun
Phil Mitchell should be on crack forever.

Now that Sharon has returned, they should find some ridiculous reason to bring Dirty Den back, then kill him off again. Keep finding increasingly ridiculous ways to kill him. Last time he was hit over the head with a dog statue, so we need a storyline dumber than that.

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Mr. Squishy
Mar 22, 2010

A country where you can always get richer.
How about being hit over the head with a dog.

Gorn Myson
Aug 8, 2007






Hes killed after a dog pushes him down the stairs. For some reason my dominant memories of Eastenders involve people either being killed or injured after being pushed down the stairs.

Lovely Joe Stalin
Jun 12, 2007

Our Lovely Wang
How about being snorted to death by Phil Mitchell while a picture-in-picture box shows actual real life drug addicts dressed as clowns, armed only with dead babies, being forced to fight a depressed, shackled bear.

It may not be sufficiently exploitative though so iunno.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
They push him down the stairs, and he lands on the dog, killing them both. There is a massive funeral, with crying and fighting and inappropriate sexual advances, all for the dog.

Den can be chucked in a black sack and thrown in the Thames.

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE
Pushing someone down the stairs is generally reserved for a tragic Christmas miscarriage. Ideally an Albert Square murder has an easily identifiable weapon which can later be found by a family member.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Have a young character join a gang and then have one of them knife him after he rips them off doing some underage booze trading.

josh04
Oct 19, 2008


"THE FLASH IS THE REASON
TO RACE TO THE THEATRES"

This title contains sponsored content.

I remember back in the 90's being shown a website by my older brother, which had tracked the causes of death of decades of Corrie characters. Heart attack and hit by a car were far and away in the majority, while being locked in a freezer and being hit by a car while having a heart attack were sadly outliers.

Giedroyc
Feb 18, 2001

Can't post for 2,400,000 hours!
Den trips on a webcam, falls down the stairs and lands on the corpse of Ian Beale's ex-wife.

Mickolution
Oct 1, 2005

Ballers...I put numbers on the boards

josh04 posted:

I remember back in the 90's being shown a website by my older brother, which had tracked the causes of death of decades of Corrie characters. Heart attack and hit by a car were far and away in the majority, while being locked in a freezer and being hit by a car while having a heart attack were sadly outliers.

If you had a link to this site, I'd greatly appreciate it. There's a wiki, but if you know of one with more detail, I'd love to have a look.

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

BRAWNY BUTTONS 4 LYFE

josh04 posted:

being locked in a freezer and being hit by a car while having a heart attack

Is this two deaths or one spectacular death?

stickyfngrdboy
Oct 21, 2010
I've just made my way through Bad Education on BBCThree. There is one word too many in the title.

Noreaus
May 22, 2008

HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING? :)
^^ I thought you were talking about the Pedro Almoldovar film for a moment then. If you were saying that was bad, we would have had to have words :argh:

There are a lot of Stewart Lee fans in this thread, I recall. I am as well, but I hadn't heard of this rendition of Pea Green Boat by him, which is fantastic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNN8zNSp6GI

Dicky B
Mar 23, 2004

Apologies for the big brother chat but good lord this jasmine person is such a tremendous oval office :fuckoff:

incredible bear
Jul 10, 2005

doing the bear maximum
Is Ashley Mckenzie up to anything yet, or can I stop worrying and not bother about him degrading my sport?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer

Dicky B posted:

Apologies for the big brother chat but good lord this jasmine person is such a tremendous oval office :fuckoff:

Big Brother is on? Normal or Celeb? I thought even 5 had scrapped it.

Mr. Squishy
Mar 22, 2010

A country where you can always get richer.
No matter how much advertising they throw away, they still can't convince people that there's any possible loving way it could still be on.
Anyway, it's the celeb version. Julian Clary's on.

Some Strange Flea
Apr 9, 2010

AAA
Pillbug
Totally forgot until I caught a glimpse of it last night that Red or Black got a second series. Its scaled down so its just eight people betting on a few games in the studio. It's less flat out random and more actually a game show, but its still Cowell as gently caress.

Pablo Bluth
Sep 7, 2007

I've made a huge mistake.

goatface posted:

Big Brother is on? Normal or Celeb? I thought even 5 had scrapped it.
Axed? If only; Channel 5 now seem to have it on permanently rotation. They needed a whole two days after the final night of Proletariat Big Brother before inviting in the 'Celebs'.

Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side

Pablo Bluth posted:

Axed? If only; Channel 5 now seem to have it on permanently rotation. They needed a whole two days after the final night of Proletariat Big Brother before inviting in the 'Celebs'.

Not only that but they already had a Celeb BB at the start of this year! Truly a golden age for budget reality TV


Dicky B posted:

Apologies for the big brother chat but good lord this jasmine person is such a tremendous oval office :fuckoff:
She's oddly fascinating though. If that's the way she reacts to getting three nominations, I can't imagine how she possibly deals with actual real life issues. I quite like her actually, the mental housemates are always good

incredible bear
Jul 10, 2005

doing the bear maximum
If I remember rightly, Ch5 only has the rights to BB for a total of two years, so they wanted to make as many shows as possible within that timeframe to get their money's worth.

Sion
Oct 16, 2004

"I'm the boss of space. That's plenty."

incredible bear posted:

If I remember rightly, Ch5 only has the rights to BB for a total of two years, so they wanted to make as many shows as possible within that timeframe to get their money's worth.

THIS YEARS BIG BROTHER IS BEST EVER
CHARLIE SHEEN TO APPEAR
JUSTIN BIEBER TO APPEAR
DALAI LAMA TO APPEAR
- Every Richard Desmond Newspaper

What a lot of wank
- Everyone else

Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side

incredible bear posted:

If I remember rightly, Ch5 only has the rights to BB for a total of two years, so they wanted to make as many shows as possible within that timeframe to get their money's worth.

Quite possibly true, although I believe they have now extended it until 2014 at least

BizarroAzrael
Apr 6, 2006

"That must weigh heavily on your soul. Let me purge it for you."
When I head my secretive and all-powerful Illuminati organization, BB will run constantly. It will also have no evictions and won't be televised.

RubberJohnny
Apr 22, 2008

stickyfngrdboy posted:

I've just made my way through Bad Education on BBCThree. There is one word too many in the title.

Someone was trying to describe this to me and couldn't remember the name of the show or the name of the comedian who was in it. I just thought they were confused and had mistaken the 2001 Channel 4 show 'Teachers' as a new show.

Gorn Myson
Aug 8, 2007






It not only stars Jack Whitehall, but he also wrote it. That tells you all you need to know about its quality without even having to watch it.

Giedroyc
Feb 18, 2001

Can't post for 2,400,000 hours!
Harry Hill the new Ben Elton?

'Promoting a new Channel 4 one-off show called Whatever Happened To Harry Hill?, the funnyman also said he would go on a stand up tour early in 2013. He is working on an X Factor musical for the West End and he confirmed the Mirror’s exclusive story that he has written a film.

Asked about his next big TV project he said: “I want to hold fire for a while.

“Following TV Burp is a bit like following Dark Side Of The Moon. It’s got to be really, really good.”'

I'd have described it more like the career of David Bowie, started off shaky, got really good then declined dramatically. I bet he won't have Finsbury Park doing the warm up act at his stand up shows as a bad Hitler impersonator.

Obligatory 'Harry Hill can't write songs' link to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gybuEqDnBLM
Which will make you like him less.

Cerv
Sep 14, 2004

This is a silly post with little news value.

Tonight on C4 an entirely disabled cast stretch the boundaries of the hidden camera prank show format in I'm Spazticus.

tvgohome or genuine - who can even tell?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Well great. Now I've got to go and re-read TvGoHome.

Z-Magic
Feb 19, 2011

They talk about the people and the proletariat, I talk about the suckers and the mugs - it's the same thing. They have their five-year plans, so have I.

Cerv posted:

Tonight on C4 an entirely disabled cast stretch the boundaries of the hidden camera prank show format in I'm Spazticus.

tvgohome or genuine - who can even tell?

I could swear I saw a hidden-camera show featuring disabled people years ago. The one I saw was actually pretty good.

Dicky B
Mar 23, 2004

That was ok. I was expecting it to just try to make me feel really bad and awkward about "laughing at disabled people" but it was actually pretty tactful and funny. I felt bad for the guy in the police lineup though.

Z-Magic posted:

I could swear I saw a hidden-camera show featuring disabled people years ago. The one I saw was actually pretty good.
Looks like there was a pilot 7 years ago:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX8Dy10JzTY

The Supreme Court
Feb 25, 2010

Pirate World: Nearly done!
Anyone else watching the BBC "swap jobs with someone in a developing nation" show? It's been not only fascinating (those Mongolian mine pits, holy poo poo) but the people they pick to do the show have been lovely and great at presenting. Even better, it's reality TV without 5 minute re-caps or continuous explanation of what just happened. The cab driver episode was particularly good.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
The Mongolian mining one was funny in a way, just because he's insistent about installing wooden pit supports in every mine in a country infamous for huge expanses of land without trees.

Szmitten
Apr 26, 2008
Episode 3 of 4 aired tonight, but I've really enjoyed Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure. It's a sort of cooking programme presented by Ken Hom and Ching-He Huang and they go to all these awesome and really loving weird places, half of it is the obvious metropoli, but the other half are these totally obscure places and it seeing it and their food being interpreted by the presenters is exotic as gently caress. It's on iPlayer and the last one is next Sunday on BBC2 at 8.

Hoops
Aug 19, 2005


A Black Mark For Retarded Posting

Giedroyc posted:

Obligatory 'Harry Hill can't write songs' link to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gybuEqDnBLM
Which will make you like him less.
Eurgh.

Is Harry Hill a bit right wing then? There was always that undercurrent of dehumanising fat working class people on TV Burp, and he went to medical school so he's probably grown up pretty well-off. That song is a pretty big misjudgement for a whole bunch of reasons.

Handsome Dead
May 21, 2012

by Y Kant Ozma Post
I remember being weirded out by repeated, kind of out of place, derogatory references to OWS on TV Burp at the end of last year.

SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

Hoops posted:

There was always that undercurrent of dehumanising fat working class people on TV Burp, and he went to medical school so he's probably grown up pretty well-off.

Doesn't pretty much every mainstream comedian mock the working class? Watch any sketch show, and there's always a blinged-up single mother to get the viewers into a frenzy. Hell, I've had abuse on the street for pushing a pram around, so I don't think it's anything to do with Harry Hill's politics. Just society in general.

Rondette
Nov 4, 2009

Your friendly neighbourhood Postie.



Grimey Drawer

Szmitten posted:

Episode 3 of 4 aired tonight, but I've really enjoyed Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure. It's a sort of cooking programme presented by Ken Hom and Ching-He Huang and they go to all these awesome and really loving weird places, half of it is the obvious metropoli, but the other half are these totally obscure places and it seeing it and their food being interpreted by the presenters is exotic as gently caress. It's on iPlayer and the last one is next Sunday on BBC2 at 8.

Nthing this, I watched last week's (didn't really want to but me partner did) and ended up really enjoying it. It was particularly funny last week watching Huang cook for that farmer's wife who clearly was not impressed with her filthy Western cooking and didn't really make any attempt to hide it. Especially when the farmer's wife's food looked spectacular anyway. We couldn't decide if it was super rude or presumptious to go into someone's house and cook like that or not.

Definitely worth a watch, although I'd warn people of a squeamish disposition to leave the room when they go to see the lamb being killed. It made me a bit antsy, although it was respectfully done in a halal style.

Oh and I want to go to China and eat massive noodles now.

Handsome Dead
May 21, 2012

by Y Kant Ozma Post
Does anyone know if there's a minimum contract for additional channels on Sky? I want to get ESPN but I can't seem to find if I can get it month by month or if I have to get it like 12 months minimum. Sky's website is as unhelpful as you can imagine.

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incredible bear
Jul 10, 2005

doing the bear maximum
If it helps, I don't understand why you'd want ESPN unless you're a big NBA/MLB fan.

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