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Phil Mitchell should be on crack forever. Now that Sharon has returned, they should find some ridiculous reason to bring Dirty Den back, then kill him off again. Keep finding increasingly ridiculous ways to kill him. Last time he was hit over the head with a dog statue, so we need a storyline dumber than that.
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Aug 17, 2012 19:23
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How about being hit over the head with a dog.
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Aug 17, 2012 19:30
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Hes killed after a dog pushes him down the stairs. For some reason my dominant memories of Eastenders involve people either being killed or injured after being pushed down the stairs.
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Aug 17, 2012 19:40
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How about being snorted to death by Phil Mitchell while a picture-in-picture box shows actual real life drug addicts dressed as clowns, armed only with dead babies, being forced to fight a depressed, shackled bear. It may not be sufficiently exploitative though so iunno.
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Aug 17, 2012 19:41
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They push him down the stairs, and he lands on the dog, killing them both. There is a massive funeral, with crying and fighting and inappropriate sexual advances, all for the dog. Den can be chucked in a black sack and thrown in the Thames.
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Aug 17, 2012 19:45
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Pushing someone down the stairs is generally reserved for a tragic Christmas miscarriage. Ideally an Albert Square murder has an easily identifiable weapon which can later be found by a family member.
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Aug 17, 2012 19:53
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Have a young character join a gang and then have one of them knife him after he rips them off doing some underage booze trading.
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Aug 17, 2012 20:01
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I remember back in the 90's being shown a website by my older brother, which had tracked the causes of death of decades of Corrie characters. Heart attack and hit by a car were far and away in the majority, while being locked in a freezer and being hit by a car while having a heart attack were sadly outliers.
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Aug 17, 2012 20:07
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Den trips on a webcam, falls down the stairs and lands on the corpse of Ian Beale's ex-wife.
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Aug 17, 2012 20:22
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josh04 posted:I remember back in the 90's being shown a website by my older brother, which had tracked the causes of death of decades of Corrie characters. Heart attack and hit by a car were far and away in the majority, while being locked in a freezer and being hit by a car while having a heart attack were sadly outliers. If you had a link to this site, I'd greatly appreciate it. There's a wiki, but if you know of one with more detail, I'd love to have a look.
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Aug 17, 2012 21:33
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josh04 posted:being locked in a freezer and being hit by a car while having a heart attack Is this two deaths or one spectacular death?
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Aug 17, 2012 23:51
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I've just made my way through Bad Education on BBCThree. There is one word too many in the title.
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Aug 17, 2012 23:59
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^^ I thought you were talking about the Pedro Almoldovar film for a moment then. If you were saying that was bad, we would have had to have words  There are a lot of Stewart Lee fans in this thread, I recall. I am as well, but I hadn't heard of this rendition of Pea Green Boat by him, which is fantastic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNN8zNSp6GI
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Aug 18, 2012 21:48
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Apologies for the big brother chat but good lord this jasmine person is such a tremendous oval office 
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Aug 18, 2012 22:10
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Is Ashley Mckenzie up to anything yet, or can I stop worrying and not bother about him degrading my sport?
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Aug 18, 2012 22:29
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Dicky B posted:Apologies for the big brother chat but good lord this jasmine person is such a tremendous oval office Big Brother is on? Normal or Celeb? I thought even 5 had scrapped it.
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Aug 19, 2012 00:32
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No matter how much advertising they throw away, they still can't convince people that there's any possible loving way it could still be on. Anyway, it's the celeb version. Julian Clary's on.
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Aug 19, 2012 00:38
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Totally forgot until I caught a glimpse of it last night that Red or Black got a second series. Its scaled down so its just eight people betting on a few games in the studio. It's less flat out random and more actually a game show, but its still Cowell as gently caress.
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Aug 19, 2012 14:08
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goatface posted:Big Brother is on? Normal or Celeb? I thought even 5 had scrapped it.
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Aug 19, 2012 15:20
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Pablo Bluth posted:Axed? If only; Channel 5 now seem to have it on permanently rotation. They needed a whole two days after the final night of Proletariat Big Brother before inviting in the 'Celebs'. Not only that but they already had a Celeb BB at the start of this year! Truly a golden age for budget reality TV Dicky B posted:Apologies for the big brother chat but good lord this jasmine person is such a tremendous oval office
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Aug 19, 2012 15:40
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If I remember rightly, Ch5 only has the rights to BB for a total of two years, so they wanted to make as many shows as possible within that timeframe to get their money's worth.
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Aug 19, 2012 15:48
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incredible bear posted:If I remember rightly, Ch5 only has the rights to BB for a total of two years, so they wanted to make as many shows as possible within that timeframe to get their money's worth. THIS YEARS BIG BROTHER IS BEST EVER CHARLIE SHEEN TO APPEAR JUSTIN BIEBER TO APPEAR DALAI LAMA TO APPEAR - Every Richard Desmond Newspaper What a lot of wank - Everyone else
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Aug 19, 2012 16:15
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incredible bear posted:If I remember rightly, Ch5 only has the rights to BB for a total of two years, so they wanted to make as many shows as possible within that timeframe to get their money's worth. Quite possibly true, although I believe they have now extended it until 2014 at least
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Aug 19, 2012 16:25
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When I head my secretive and all-powerful Illuminati organization, BB will run constantly. It will also have no evictions and won't be televised.
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Aug 19, 2012 17:30
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stickyfngrdboy posted:I've just made my way through Bad Education on BBCThree. There is one word too many in the title. Someone was trying to describe this to me and couldn't remember the name of the show or the name of the comedian who was in it. I just thought they were confused and had mistaken the 2001 Channel 4 show 'Teachers' as a new show.
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Aug 19, 2012 17:50
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It not only stars Jack Whitehall, but he also wrote it. That tells you all you need to know about its quality without even having to watch it.
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Aug 19, 2012 18:04
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Harry Hill the new Ben Elton? 'Promoting a new Channel 4 one-off show called Whatever Happened To Harry Hill?, the funnyman also said he would go on a stand up tour early in 2013. He is working on an X Factor musical for the West End and he confirmed the Mirror’s exclusive story that he has written a film. Asked about his next big TV project he said: “I want to hold fire for a while. “Following TV Burp is a bit like following Dark Side Of The Moon. It’s got to be really, really good.”' I'd have described it more like the career of David Bowie, started off shaky, got really good then declined dramatically. I bet he won't have Finsbury Park doing the warm up act at his stand up shows as a bad Hitler impersonator. Obligatory 'Harry Hill can't write songs' link to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gybuEqDnBLM Which will make you like him less.
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Aug 19, 2012 18:05
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Tonight on C4 an entirely disabled cast stretch the boundaries of the hidden camera prank show format in I'm Spazticus. tvgohome or genuine - who can even tell?
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Aug 19, 2012 21:01
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Well great. Now I've got to go and re-read TvGoHome.
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Aug 19, 2012 21:28
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Cerv posted:Tonight on C4 an entirely disabled cast stretch the boundaries of the hidden camera prank show format in I'm Spazticus. I could swear I saw a hidden-camera show featuring disabled people years ago. The one I saw was actually pretty good.
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Aug 19, 2012 21:38
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That was ok. I was expecting it to just try to make me feel really bad and awkward about "laughing at disabled people" but it was actually pretty tactful and funny. I felt bad for the guy in the police lineup though.Z-Magic posted:I could swear I saw a hidden-camera show featuring disabled people years ago. The one I saw was actually pretty good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX8Dy10JzTY
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Aug 19, 2012 22:46
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Anyone else watching the BBC "swap jobs with someone in a developing nation" show? It's been not only fascinating (those Mongolian mine pits, holy poo poo) but the people they pick to do the show have been lovely and great at presenting. Even better, it's reality TV without 5 minute re-caps or continuous explanation of what just happened. The cab driver episode was particularly good.
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Aug 19, 2012 22:49
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The Mongolian mining one was funny in a way, just because he's insistent about installing wooden pit supports in every mine in a country infamous for huge expanses of land without trees.
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Aug 19, 2012 23:21
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Episode 3 of 4 aired tonight, but I've really enjoyed Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure. It's a sort of cooking programme presented by Ken Hom and Ching-He Huang and they go to all these awesome and really loving weird places, half of it is the obvious metropoli, but the other half are these totally obscure places and it seeing it and their food being interpreted by the presenters is exotic as gently caress. It's on iPlayer and the last one is next Sunday on BBC2 at 8.
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Aug 19, 2012 23:25
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Giedroyc posted:Obligatory 'Harry Hill can't write songs' link to: Is Harry Hill a bit right wing then? There was always that undercurrent of dehumanising fat working class people on TV Burp, and he went to medical school so he's probably grown up pretty well-off. That song is a pretty big misjudgement for a whole bunch of reasons.
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Aug 20, 2012 00:41
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I remember being weirded out by repeated, kind of out of place, derogatory references to OWS on TV Burp at the end of last year.
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Aug 20, 2012 01:29
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Hoops posted:There was always that undercurrent of dehumanising fat working class people on TV Burp, and he went to medical school so he's probably grown up pretty well-off. Doesn't pretty much every mainstream comedian mock the working class? Watch any sketch show, and there's always a blinged-up single mother to get the viewers into a frenzy. Hell, I've had abuse on the street for pushing a pram around, so I don't think it's anything to do with Harry Hill's politics. Just society in general.
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Aug 20, 2012 12:53
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Szmitten posted:Episode 3 of 4 aired tonight, but I've really enjoyed Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure. It's a sort of cooking programme presented by Ken Hom and Ching-He Huang and they go to all these awesome and really loving weird places, half of it is the obvious metropoli, but the other half are these totally obscure places and it seeing it and their food being interpreted by the presenters is exotic as gently caress. It's on iPlayer and the last one is next Sunday on BBC2 at 8. Nthing this, I watched last week's (didn't really want to but me partner did) and ended up really enjoying it. It was particularly funny last week watching Huang cook for that farmer's wife who clearly was not impressed with her filthy Western cooking and didn't really make any attempt to hide it. Especially when the farmer's wife's food looked spectacular anyway. We couldn't decide if it was super rude or presumptious to go into someone's house and cook like that or not. Definitely worth a watch, although I'd warn people of a squeamish disposition to leave the room when they go to see the lamb being killed. It made me a bit antsy, although it was respectfully done in a halal style. Oh and I want to go to China and eat massive noodles now.
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Aug 20, 2012 13:44
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Does anyone know if there's a minimum contract for additional channels on Sky? I want to get ESPN but I can't seem to find if I can get it month by month or if I have to get it like 12 months minimum. Sky's website is as unhelpful as you can imagine.
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Aug 20, 2012 21:52
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If it helps, I don't understand why you'd want ESPN unless you're a big NBA/MLB fan.
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Aug 20, 2012 22:32
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