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Allen Wren posted:I'd actually suspect not. One of my cats will perch on the back of my chair, which often leads to shoulder-based shenanigans. A woman in my town goes around everywhere with a cat on her shoulders. Even the pub. She's developed a slight hunch from trying to keep the cat balanced up there, but the cat is totally chill and gives not the fucks. I think you can see a leash in that photo there, so his cat probably took off when he left his tower door open or something. That is one seriously bitchin' cool staff that guy has there.
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Sep 14, 2012 23:45
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Calico Heart posted:After snooping around this particular wizard man actually appears to be the more well known of the two. His cat ran away once (it's probably scared as gently caress on his neck there) which lead to this: Aww. That's actually pretty sweet  That guy's probably just a harmless eccentric, not a real crazy.
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Sep 15, 2012 00:04
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That's one of the best things about growing old; You're allowed to be eccentric, even a bit crazy, and it's ok, because presumably you've spent most of your life up to that point being a "productive member of society" or whatever. If a 20 or 30 something aged person were to dress as a wizard with a cat on his/her shoulders, he/she would be much more maligned, ridiculed, and looked down upon.
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Sep 15, 2012 01:14
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That guy is awesome. People from the stories in this thread would be humbled to have him as their astral plane pal.
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Sep 15, 2012 01:26
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After looking around a little more, I found some more pictures of conrad, but still none of mystery-metal wizard. I'm thinking he may have lost the wizard-duel over Sutton's dominion. Wizards in the night  Conrad, Dragon-Master does not have time for nerd-rear end white boys  Though he will appreciate some fine art with the ladies (warning: this picture is amazing) 
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Sep 15, 2012 01:54
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Dude can't spell and his grammar is appalling. Someone should tell him about literacy standards having changed since the reign of King Arthur.
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Sep 15, 2012 02:15
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Calico Heart posted:Though he will appreciate some fine art with the ladies (warning: this picture is amazing) His staff in the photo is not the same as the one in his hand. Dude has more than one bitchin-cool staff! I am literally jealous.
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Sep 15, 2012 03:50
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Someone has got to talk to this man.
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Sep 15, 2012 04:31
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Mind Loving Owl posted:Someone has got to talk to this man. Safari Rule. Look, don't touch, stay inside the land rover.
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Sep 15, 2012 05:18
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P.S. STILL COMPLETELY DEVOID OF MERIT
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So is he homeless?
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Sep 15, 2012 05:27
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Mind Loving Owl posted:So is he homeless? I don't know, but I'm homelessly amazed by him!
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Sep 15, 2012 05:59
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Bet this guy has live five adult kids who are vaguely ashamed of him but still take the grand kids for visits.
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Sep 15, 2012 06:09
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I cant really explain it, but what moves this into the "gently caress it, dude rules" catagory for me is that he signs it "Your friendly neighbourhood wizard". I dont know why, I think I'm just reassured that hes a friendly wizard.
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Sep 15, 2012 09:12
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The letter's kind of hard to read, anyone willing to transcribe it?
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Sep 15, 2012 09:36
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SiKboy posted:I cant really explain it, but what moves this into the "gently caress it, dude rules" catagory for me is that he signs it "Your friendly neighbourhood wizard". I dont know why, I think I'm just reassured that hes a friendly wizard. Actually it's "Your friendly neihbourhood(sic) wizard-man". I googled him a bit, and apparently 'wizard man' is what the community calls him, despite his insistence that he is 'Dragon Master Conrad'. To me this makes him even better. Also his goddamn script. You just know, looking at it, that he's trained himself over the years to write everything in that script.  I think he sounds great, so I googled him. Here are some other notable events I found concerning him in articles: After cat Zagan was returned safely, someone stole his kitten Adramelekh (named after the 'supervisor to Satan's wardrobe').  He has cursed the culprit duly with the rule of threefold return.His full title is "His Divine Grace Conrad, Lord Azurahm of Draconia Anglorum, The Lord Primal Dragon Master for the British Isles, Ordo Draconis OD." Yes. He won a court case to be able to carry his ornamental dragony knife with him at all times, for 'religious reasons', the deciding factor being that he really dresses like that 24/7. He lives in a council flat, and is not homeless. Most of Sutton campaigned on Facebook to have him officially 'turn on the town's Christmas lights' at a Christmas countdown event. He agreed and the event was advertised with his name, drawing in huge crowds, but at the last minute he was prevented from going onstage and instead the event was hosted by some random rear end in a top hat in a wizard costume, hired by the event coordinators. Everyone was understandably pissed. Coordinators said poo poo like 'we were afraid his pets might get frightened', but it's likely the real reason was anti-wizard assholes who were on record as saying "he is a bad role model for children because he carries cats on his shoulders". e: Also might be because the organisers agreed he would appear onstage sans animals, but he showed up with them anyway, and there was some legalese crap to do with it. Wizard-man's comments on the situation: "I feel the organisers have let the people of Sutton down. This is not what they wanted and the false wizard just gave a silly impression of what people think wizards should look like. He was wearing completely the wrong clothes, when I have a hooded robe and skull cap." 
Corridor fucked around with this message at 14:59 on Sep 15, 2012 |
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Sep 15, 2012 09:46
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Mind Loving Owl posted:The letter's kind of hard to read, anyone willing to transcribe it? quote:THANK YOU SUTTON "Zagan is recovering and eating well. Also he is still alive.  Thanks to the guy who told me about my cat, and also bothered to approach me."
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Sep 15, 2012 09:54
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Someone stole his kitten?! Why... Wouldn't be hilarious if right after his car broke down or something.
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Sep 15, 2012 10:26
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I had to analyze that letter all too closely to make sure that it was actual human handwriting and not just a font taken from one of the journals you pick up in Skyrim. Who would've thought that a proper wizard must study calligraphy among his alchemy, numerology, astrology, divinations and Defense Against the Dark Arts?
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Sep 15, 2012 11:28
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This world needs more wizards.
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Sep 15, 2012 11:34
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Is nice to here about some decent strange people for once.
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Sep 15, 2012 11:41
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TunaSpleen posted:I had to analyze that letter all too closely to make sure that it was actual human handwriting and not just a font taken from one of the journals you pick up in Skyrim. Who would've thought that a proper wizard must study calligraphy among his alchemy, numerology, astrology, divinations and Defense Against the Dark Arts? 
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Sep 15, 2012 16:10
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This guy is so inoffensive it's probably going to turn out he murdered a girl for a dark god.
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Sep 15, 2012 16:47
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Well there were a few comments here and there indicating that he might be kind of a dick. Like a parent complaining that Wizardman's dog bit her child, and he offered no apology or acknowledgement except to keep the dog on a muzzle now (because Dragon Masters do not train dogs apparently). With crazies and eccentrics you always gotta take some bad with the good, but Wizardman seems like a reasonably cool crazy, as far as they go.
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Sep 15, 2012 17:09
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Corridor posted:Well there were a few comments here and there indicating that he might be kind of a dick. Like a parent complaining that Wizardman's dog bit her child, and he offered no apology or acknowledgement except to keep the dog on a muzzle now (because Dragon Masters do not train dogs apparently). Well that rounded my view of him a bit.
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Sep 15, 2012 17:16
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You've also got to consider that he probably gets people coming up to him constantly wanting to take his picture, and if he actually does practise Wizardom seriously, that's gotta be insulting. At the very least, imagine you're just chilling out in your wizard gear when the tenth goofy mother comes along showing you off to her kid and pointing. Then when the kid gets bitten it's not just some annoyance, it's apparently your problem. look basically what I'm saying is it's going to be hard for me to not side with a wizard.
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Sep 15, 2012 19:27
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So, wizardchat reminded me that I actually do have a story to tell here. Some years back I was in the public library, checking out one of the Dune books. I don't remember which exactly... it was either Heretics or Chapterhouse; I distinctly remember it being one of the later books because I stared at it for a while before finally deciding to finish the series out of obligation. Anyway, our city has a fair amount of homeless people, and more than its fair share of aging hippies. The library was (at the time) just recently redesigned and had a lot of soft reading chairs scattered around, and is right next to the central bus station, so it's homeless paradise. So seeing a very scruffy man with a gigantic beard lounging around one of the library reading areas on the way to get my book doesn't even draw a second glance. As I'm heading back to the stairs to check out however, I hear someone behind me say "You know, that's all true.". I turn around and revise my opinion of this guy: hippy, not homeless. Sometimes it's kinda hard to tell them apart, especially once they get to the complete beard envelopment stage. He's got a poo poo ton of copper bracelets and bangles, a cloak, and what looks to be a staff behind some grungy packs sitting next to his chair. He is, in fact, an Archdruid. He nods towards the book in my hand, and tells me "That book. It's true." I wish I had written down the conversation right after I had it because my memory is pretty awful. It's just one of those times where you are so blindsided by what is going on you can't really process it effectively. So here's what I remember in bits and pieces, paraphrased as best as I can remember it. He is an Archdruid, and, in fact, a member of a secret order that Frank Herbert was also a member of. Frank Herbert was privy to some esoteric and mystical secrets, which he wrote down in the Dune books. I wasn't quite sure if he was implying that they were like, a guidebook, or more like a history? but the techniques contained therein were for sure definitely real. Force shields? Chi projection. Prescience? Definitely real. Lasguns were also... something. I think they might also have been chi, but the other kind, which is why they couldn't touch the shields. Sandworms, unfortunately, did not come up. I wish I had thought to ask, but I mostly just stood there while he rambled on. The weirdest thing was that he was just so matter of fact about it. He clearly was familiar with the books, and recognized the book I was carrying by the cover from a ways away. He didn't seem to care if I believed him either. He didn't seem to be trying to convince me, or convert me, just that, you know, that stuff was real, in case I didn't know. It's still the best explanation I've heard for what the hell is going on in the latter books.
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Sep 16, 2012 01:17
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Calico Heart posted:look basically what I'm saying is it's going to be hard for me to not side with a wizard. It is, but the dude is clearly loopy in some way, and being a crazy person isn't ever going to manifest in only purely awesome ways. I can accept that he's a dick sometimes and still think he's awesome overall. World needs way more crazies deciding that they are goddamn wizards and that their entire life is now dedicated to wizardry. I put this a few posts up, but this is still my favourite quote from him: quote:I feel the organisers have let the people of Sutton down. This is not what they wanted and the false wizard just gave a silly impression of what people think wizards should look like. He was wearing completely the wrong clothes, when I have a hooded robe and skull cap. Dune wizard sounds pretty great too. Next time I run into a kid reading a book I recognise (because kids are easier to convince) I'm gonna tell them all about my life in Looking-glass Land or Gormenghast castle or whatever.
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Sep 16, 2012 07:32
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Giant Isopod posted:So, wizardchat reminded me that I actually do have a story to tell here. I need to know what city you're in because there's no way it's not my city and I need to meet this becloaked archdruid more than anything. I mean I think we have probably more than our fair share of weirdies in this town but I need an archdruid in my life! Think about all the secrets he could share about Dune...
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Sep 16, 2012 08:56
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This Dune guy didn't have an explanation for how Frank was part of an all female order?
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Sep 16, 2012 09:24
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InEscape posted:I need to know what city you're in because there's no way it's not my city and I need to meet this becloaked archdruid more than anything. I mean I think we have probably more than our fair share of weirdies in this town but I need an archdruid in my life! Think about all the secrets he could share about Dune... Eugene, Oregon. Mind Loving Owl posted:This Dune guy didn't have an explanation for how Frank was part of an all female order? No, he (the archdruid) and Frank were part of an order together, unrelated to bene gesserit or any of the orders actually in the books. I didn't mean to imply that.
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Sep 16, 2012 18:25
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Sorry your post is hard to decipher (not your fault, this guy is weird) so basically is Dune supposed to be a secret history.
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Sep 17, 2012 00:06
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Giant Isopod posted:Eugene, Oregon. Hey Eugene buddy!  This town is full of oddballs, maybe I should hang downtown to collect some stories for this thread.
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Sep 17, 2012 00:59
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Oregoons!  This place is ridiculously awesome.
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Sep 17, 2012 01:49
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I knew a woman who sincerely thought her friend bought her husband back from the dead.
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Sep 17, 2012 02:09
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Haymaker_Betty posted:
Awww, Eagle Scouts are part of the boy scouts, its one of the higher ranks you can get. I think the kid just genuinely wanted to help. Hmn, I should write out the time I dated a time witch. Its nothing as good as what you guys have but it's still borderline crazy.
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Sep 17, 2012 03:12
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Blckdrgn posted:Awww, Eagle Scouts are part of the boy scouts, its one of the higher ranks you can get. I think the kid just genuinely wanted to help.  You girlfriend thought she was a witch, do you think we're not interested?
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Sep 17, 2012 04:00
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Mind Loving Owl posted:
"My girlfriend thought she was a witch" sounds boring. "My girlfriend thought she was a time witch" sounds amazing.
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Sep 17, 2012 04:22
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I completely missed the time part, now you have to post it.
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Sep 17, 2012 04:28
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A mate of mine did have a girlfriend who was into Shamanisim. It sort of paid off as once someone stole her car, only to presumably open the boot and find all sorts of fetish dolls and knives in there and promptly return the vehicle intact. And yes he confirmed the theory that crazy girls provide the best sex.
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Sep 17, 2012 04:31
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WebDog posted:It sort of paid off as once someone stole her car, only to presumably open the boot and find all sorts of fetish dolls and knives in there and promptly return the vehicle intact. So the secret of security is stuffing your possessions with creepy poo poo. Got to go hit up my classmate's brony associate.
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Sep 17, 2012 05:35
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