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The Rated R Superstars wager their Super Draft picks to make a * challenge for 1986 Jesse Orosco.
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Oct 2, 2012 00:19
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The Goog posted:The Rated R Superstars wager their Super Draft picks to make a * challenge for 1986 Jesse Orosco. Approved
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Oct 2, 2012 00:20
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The Goog posted:The Rated R Superstars wager their Super Draft picks to make a * challenge for 1986 Jesse Orosco. As 34% owner of the Superstars, I approve this wager.
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Oct 2, 2012 00:21
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 Celebration time! 4 weeks, 4 wins baby! Wh- Wha- What do you mean this isn't football?  Pretty sure I must be right up there with the worst start ever. Perhaps it's because the Mudholes have developed Bad Team Syndrome. In Madison, the cure for BTS is the same as for everything else that ails you. Just drink until your liver falls off and then you won't have anything to worry about. Let's see. I could...hmmm. What if I...hmmm. Well, when Kevin Brown is done being injured, let him replace the gently caress out of Howie Pollet. I'll leave Clemens in because there is no conceivable way his ERA stays north of 7 the rest of the way. Wanna see something hilarious? Move Braun to 3B and bench Kurowski. Put Sheffield in LF and DH Corey Hart. gently caress it. Bat Hart leadoff and put McCutcheon at #9 when there is a DH. Week 5's goal: 2 wins!!
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Oct 2, 2012 00:39
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  : Let's try Troy Tulowitzki and Jimmy loving Key for *-star Jason IsringhausenArmitage fucked around with this message at 01:32 on Oct 2, 2012 |
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Oct 2, 2012 01:12
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A bit late to the party, but drat, nice work Smasher. The Super League is now sanctioned by the Illinois state bar. Awesome.
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Oct 2, 2012 02:29
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The W's bid their 1st and 2nd round picks on ** '02 Ed Delahanty
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Oct 2, 2012 02:46
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Congratulations Smasher!
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Oct 2, 2012 03:00
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I know I posted it in IRC earlier today, but I'll post it in here too: Congrats, Smasher. I knew you'd do it and you had the similar faith of all the guys that idle the channel.
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Oct 2, 2012 03:01
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The Super-League VII Challenge Series Contest: Your Smasher Sanity Depreciation Station So, you've gone through the dispersal draft, or you want to fix your mediocre returning team, and you're one piece away from greatness. Oh, you could wait for the Super-Draft around the midpoint of the season, but can you afford to wait? Well, if you're willing to take a risk, then maybe I can help you out... Here's how the challenge works. You put up your Super-Draft picks, or an equivalent consideration, and choose which level of challenge you want to face. You win, you get a player from that tier of prizes, you lose, I take your draft picks or whatever it is you put up. And, of course, there's nothing really stopping you from challenging more than once... To win, all you have to do is win a best-of-seven series against one of the teams listed under your chosen level of the challenge. Which team you'll be challenging will be randomly selected, so you won't know which one you'll be facing. One-Star Challenges (*) Winnable, but not automatic Possible Teams Anchorage Penguins (0-1) Atlantis Unspecifieds Atlantis Aquamen (SLVI) (1-0) Boston Crabs (SLIV) (1-0) Boston Crabs (SLVI) (0-1) Brooklyn Bombers (SLII) Brooklyn Bombers (SLIV) Brooklyn Bronies California Unspecifieds (0-1) Cleveland Communists (1-0) Des Moines Dervishes (SLIV) Dorchester Phantoms (0-1) East St. Louis Electrics (0-1) Falmouth Clippers (0-1) Free Country Fhqwhgads Greater Googly-Mooglies (0-1) Hakata Runnin' Ramen Hill Valley Biffs (1-0) Jackson Jerks of Mississippi Jerk City Philosophers Kodak Googles Kolkata Indians (0-1) Las Vegas Gamblers (0-1) London Calling (1-0) Motor City Bengals (0-1) Newport Sharks (SLI) Newport Sharks (SLII) #OccupySuperLeague (0-1) Philadelphia Longshots Rockford Losers (SLIII) (1-0) San Francisco Clues Seattle Homers (2-0) Senadores de San Juan (SLII) Stevie Mitch Specials (1-0) Toronto Ravens Vancouver Loonies (0-1) Rewards C - '99 Jason Kendall (JUN) 1B - '08 Carlos Delgado (SES) 2B - '07 Dustin Pedroia (SES) 3B - '37 Red Rolfe (ATA) RF - '18 Ross Youngs (DES) DH - '09 Mark Reynolds (LAV) SP - '79 Phil Niekro (HAK) SP - '26 Urban Shocker (SLA/DOR) Two-Star Challenges (**) The teams aren't so good, but neither are the players. Possible Teams Baltimore Blind Men (0-3) Cleveland Unicorns (SLI) (0-2) Des Moine Dervishes (SLII) (0-2) EV-IL Corp. Villains (1-0) Greenbrier Orchids (0-1) Idaho Potatoes (1-1) Mid-Northern Suicidal Tendencies Mudville Masochists (0-1) Paris Postmodernists (1-1) San Diego Freewheelers (0-1) Senadores de San Juan (SLI) (0-1) Silicon Valley Wanzers (2-0) Tigres de San Juan (0-1) Rewards C - '73 Thurman Munson (VAN/SES) 1B - '05 Ryan Howard (FRA/PRO) 2B - '85 Julio Franco (PRO) 3B - '02 Aramis Ramirez (IDA) LF - '10 Ryan Braun (MLD) CF - '79 Dale Murphy (HAK) RF - '97 Sammy Sosa (DER) SP - '21 George Uhle (DES) SP - '90 Kevin Brown (SFC/PRO) Three-Star Challenges (***) Solid fights for solid players. Possible Teams Atlantis Aquamen (SLIII-SLIV) (1-0) Angel Grove Power Rangers (0-1) Boston Crabs (SLI-SLII) (0-1) Chicago Dinger-Machines (0-1) Deadwood Cutthroats (0-1) Detroit Riots (1-1) Detroit Original Riots (1-2) Detroit Switchblades (1-1) Honolulu Lava Flows Juneau Juggernauts (SLI) Leprechauns (1-0) Milwaukee Drinkers (0-2) New New York Fighting Mongooses (1-0) New Orleans Hurricanes (1-0) Omaha Forgettables (SLIII) (0-1) Omaha Forgettables (SLV) Oyster Cult Blues (0-2) Petaluma Goose Eggs (1-0) Rewards C - '22 Gabby Hartnett (GRE/GAN) 1B - '85 Don Mattingly (NNY/VIR) 3B - '82 Paul Molitor (GRE) LF - '81 Tim Raines (GAN) RF - '70 Reggie Jackson (NNY/DER) SP - '50 Robin Roberts (PHL) SP - '62 Gaylord Perry (SES) SP - '90 Randy Johnson (CLU/DER) RP - '05 Billy Wagner (FRA/SES) RP - '89 John Franco (SES) Four-Star Challenges (****) How much are you willing to risk for a star player? Possible Teams Chicago Blood Sox (2-1) Framingham Fillies (1-1) Newport Sharks (SLV-SLVI) (1-0) Queens Mercuries (0-2) Providence Murderbots (1-2) Seattle SuperSonics (1-0) Virginia City Vigilantes (1-2) Rewards C - '99 Mike Piazza (EVV) 1B - '64 Harmon Killebrew (SES) 2B - '69 Joe Morgan (LEP) 3B - '83 George Brett (BLI/CHB) SS - '95 Alex Rodriguez (SES) LF - '67 Carl Yastrzemski (PHL) CF - '18 Ty Cobb (DOR) RF - '92 Tony Gwynn (LEP) SP - '03 Rube Waddell (SES) SP - '03 Eddie Plank (NEW/PRO) SP - '12 Christy Mathewson (SES) SP - '59 Bob Gibson (SES) RP - '84 Dan Quisenberry (BLI) RP - '98 Trevor Hoffman (VAN) Five-Star Challenges (*****) You're probably not going to win...but what if you did? Possible Teams Boston Skyhawks (6-0) Gander Doppel-Bangers (2-2) Rewards C - '75 Johnny Bench (MID) 1B - '37 Lou Gehrig (ATA) 2B - '21 Rogers Hornsby (DEM) 3B - '80 Mike Schmidt (BSC) CF - '37 Joe DiMaggio (ATA) RF - '58 Hank Aaron (DEM) DH - '20 Babe loving Ruth (QUE) SP - '16 Walter Johnson (ATA) SP - '00 Randy Johnson (PRP/DOR) SP - '04 Ed Walsh (CHB) SP - '93 Roger Clemens (BSC) RP - '01 Mariano Rivera (CLU/PRO) RP - '77 Bruce Sutter (KOL/LEP) Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Oct 2, 2012 |
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Oct 2, 2012 03:46
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 Final Challenge by SXE Cultists Get: Three Ratings Challenges from the Second City Saints Saints Get: Usage of the R'yleh Cultists in a challenge Challenge Details: The Saints Bet: Orlando Cabrera and Joe Adcock ***** Mystery Box
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Oct 2, 2012 04:54
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Senerio posted:
Good luck! Approved
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Oct 2, 2012 04:55
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Superbas: Send Kinsler and Jackson to the DL. Temporary lineup v. both vLeft: CF Carlos Beltran SS Alex Rodriguez LF Josh Hamilton 1B Mike Napoli C Gene Tenance RF Rick Monday 2B Michael Young 3B Adrian Beltre P vRight CF Carlos Beltran SS Alex Rodriguez LF Josh Hamilton 1B Don Mincher C Gene Tenance RF Rick Monday 2B Michael Young 3B Adrian Beltre P Bench: Napoli/Mincher OF Nelson Cruz (from AAA) IF Bert Campnaris IF Sal Bando IF Luis Aparicio (from AAA) Pitching stays the same, of course. Nerokerubina fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Oct 2, 2012 |
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Oct 2, 2012 05:44
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 I think Ruffing should be at Long Relief, I really don't want Bobby Schantz doing spot starts, though he might end up in the later innings if the 7-8-9 guys continue to suck.  My challenge for Robin Roberts seems to have been missed, but, gently caress it, in respect for your time, I'll go straight for *****Pop Lloyd I'll proffer Vladdy, Don Mincher, and, oh, Vicente Padilla as collateral.
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Oct 2, 2012 18:51
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Smasher League Week 5 Injury Report No new champions Chicago Bobbleheads Tom Glavine (SP) (Zito time?) - 34 days Comancheros Mark McGwire (1B) (Ate Burrito de la Muerte) - 8 days Luna Landers Eddie Collins (2B) (Currently listening to Yes's "Roundabout") - 8 days Oxbridge Mathematicians Arky Vaughan (SS) (Tried to divide by zero) - 20 days Ted Sox Kevin Brown (SP) (The Mudholes' Brown stop being injured so, logically...) - 7 days
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Oct 2, 2012 19:20
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Spot start Katt, put Ryan at LR.
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Oct 2, 2012 19:26
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Aaaand this would be the part where I realise that in taking the better of my two 2B backup options I forgot the other one was my only SS backup. Ho hum. Joe Gordon in for Vaughan while he's out, and may God have mercy on our souls. Edit: Emergency challenge as a solution foiled since the lowest challengeable-for SS is four-star. I really didn't think this one ahead. Revenant Threshold fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Oct 2, 2012 |
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Oct 2, 2012 19:32
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Revenant Threshold posted:Aaaand this would be the part where I realise that in taking the better of my two 2B backup options I forgot the other one was my only SS backup. Ho hum. Want Jimmy Rollins? Price is '85 Jack Clark and your second-round pick.
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Oct 2, 2012 19:37
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It's worth noting, Rev, that Marauder's Rollins has either zero or one year with an OPS+ above 100 on his resume. (What year is he, anyway?) Jack Clark is already a high-slugging, multi-time All Star by 1985. That alone makes the deal silly. Here's a better offer for you: 1910 Jim Delahanty, who had enjoyed six straight 100-or-higher OPS+ seasons and would go on to put up four more in a row, for just your second round pick.
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Oct 2, 2012 21:27
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The Goog posted:It's worth noting, Rev, that Marauder's Rollins has either zero or one year with an OPS+ above 100 on his resume. (What year is he, anyway?) Jack Clark is already a high-slugging, multi-time All Star by 1985. That alone makes the deal silly. There was an effort post here, but.... Rollins has excellent defense and superior power for a shortstop. Jim Delahanty is not a shortstop at all. He played five games there in '06. Edit: OK, now that that sunk in, it's 2004 Rollins, .289/.348/.455. Anyone should be happy to get that from their shortstop. The Merry Marauder fucked around with this message at 21:40 on Oct 2, 2012 |
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Oct 2, 2012 21:35
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The Merry Marauder posted:There was an effort post here, but.... BBM doesn't necessarily follow single-season performance, though. And since it's '04 Rollins, it will treat him like the .262/.317/.395 player he was from 00-03, since the 04 season hasn't happened yet for him as far as the engine is concerned.
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Oct 2, 2012 22:02
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Beet posted:BBM doesn't necessarily follow single-season performance, though. And since it's '04 Rollins, it will treat him like the .262/.317/.395 player he was from 00-03, since the 04 season hasn't happened yet for him as far as the engine is concerned. Were the engine operating in a vacuum, that might be an issue. Regardless, this roll doesn't show the split-score sign of a raw player. Anyway, Revenant Threshold, what good is having two Jacks Clark? I imagine you're platooning one with Crime Dog at DH, but it's not like he's a super-versatile player. The '85 Series is a strong case against playing him at first, and how many spare right fielders do you need?
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Oct 3, 2012 00:14
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The main issue for me is that Vaughan and Clark are both first-choice guys for me. I trade away for a new backup guy, he picks up the slack while Vaughan's gone, but then he's probably, and hopefully, never going to see another game. I'm not sure that losing Clark entirely (well, half of him) vs. sucking for 20 days is a good tradeoff for me.
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Oct 3, 2012 00:27
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You don't want to trade Jack Clark. There's nothing wrong with that. If Delahanty's lack of shortstop experience scares you away, then let me offer 1968 Dick McAuliffe, again for just your second-round Super Draft pick. It's true that McAuliffe was primarily a second baseman by '68, but he had been a full-time shortstop for several years before that, and he continued to play the position on a part-time basis (as well as filling in at third, when needed) for the remaining seven years of his career. In 1968 he was in his offensive prime, as well; that was his second of three straight seasons with a 126 OPS+, and before that stretch he put up a 148. The Goog fucked around with this message at 00:55 on Oct 3, 2012 |
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Oct 3, 2012 00:46
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 You know, gang, back in the day, I used to do an update where I assigned a tarot card for each team and then described how the card described something about that team. Well, back when we only had 24 teams, that was doable, since there were 22 Major Arcana, and so I'd just do something like give a couple of teams cards like "Draw Two" from Uno or something. But, alas, with 32 teams, that's not going to fly this time, so instead I'm going to assign each team a (mostly) forgotten cartoon from my childhood instead. Now, I was able to find the theme songs for all of these shows on youtube, but I haven't seen any of them in years, so my summary of those shows may be a bit...spotty. But hey, it should break up the tedium of these updates! Super-League VII, Dynamo League Week 5: Nostalgia Week, Part 1 Games of the Week Don May posted:
Box Score   Don May posted:
Box Score   Don May posted:
Box Score   Super-League Challenge!  : Well, it's time for more Super-League Challenge because you all hate me! : Or maybe the owners are so invested in the Super-League that-: Nope! They hate me! Okay, let's start. The Superstars have a one-star challenge and, in a shocking twist, they'll have to go against co-owner Pungry's former team, the Fhqwhgads!  The Following is a One-Star Challenge. If the Superstars win, they will receive '86 Jesse Orosco. If they lose, they will forfeit two Super-Draft Picks.   : Gads win Game 1, and this seems like a very unwise challenge. If they win, the benefit, in a left-handed reliever, is about as marginal as you can get, but if they lose, that's two Super-Draft picks gone.: Yeah, but it's a one-star challenge! This shouldn't be too bad!  : Gads take Game 2. Even if they win, I would think they'll hold off on any further challenges.: I don't know, Smasher, maybe winning these challenges is addictive, and they're just compelled to make more challenges.   : Superstars get on the board because, just like in Super-League VI, the Fhqwhgads never really could win more than a couple of games in a row.  : Superstars tie the series, but not in a convincing fashion.: Well, it doesn't matter how you get there, Smasher, the important thing is whether you win.: Or maybe almost loving a challenge like this is a warning sign that you should stop making challenges before you get burned.  : And the Gads take another lead. The Superstars don't look like contenders right now, and even if they win, I don't think that Orosco is going to do a whole ton to change that.  : And the Superstars tie it up.: On the bright side, the Superstars might somehow pull this off.  : Superstars barely win '86 Jesse Orosco, and maybe they should take this a loving warning to stop making loving challenges!: Or...maybe they should see how long this hot streak lasts?: NO! DO NOT DO THAT! I mean, why press your luck? Next up the Goose Eggs, despite the fact that their hole at third base is so loving deep that they're starting Rance Mulliniks there, are going to challenge for a reliever. Brilliant. And they'll face the California Unspecifieds. The Following is a One-Star Challenge. If the Goose Eggs win, they'll receive '99 Jason Isringhausen. If they lose, they will forfeit Troy Tulowitzki and Jimmy Key.   : This is not the smartest thing that Armitage has ever done.: Are you still scared of having to finish the Goose Eggs obit?  : gently caress, Goose Eggs, just win this loving series! And yes I'm scared! I don't have enough material to cover the rest of the modules I promised!  : Hold the line, Goose Eggs, hold the drat line! I don't know what the gently caress I'm going to write about for The Blood Sock! Don't make me find out!: Ah, I'm sure you could figure something out.  : drat you, Unspecifieds! Why must you betray me like this! And I don't have any good ideas left! My first idea for The Blood Sock module was a dating sim! A dating sim!: You know, that would probably improve readership.  : You can do this, Goose Eggs! Do it for me. Please.  : drat you, Goose Eggs! You lose Troy Tulowitzki and Jimmy Key! drat you! drat it all! I don't want to do that obit!: Ah, it'll be okay.: Ugh. Anyway, what's next? W's against Masochists? Eh, fine. The Following is a Two-Star Challenge. If the Eazy W's win, they will receive '02 Ed Delahanty. If they lose, they will forfeit two Super-Draft Picks.  : W's take Game 1.: Who were the Masochists again? : W's take Game 2. And the Masochists were the team owned by the guy with the Zack Ryder avatar.: Who's Zack Ryder? : Masochists get one back. And I'm glad you asked. You see, Zack Ryder is a professional wrestler. : Masochists win again. His gimmick is that he's basically a nerd/bro type of guy from Long Island. : That doesn't sound very appealing. : W's move to one game from winning the series. And no, he really wasn't, until he managed to get some internet popularity. : And that helped out his career? : And we'll go to a Game 7. See, it didn't really. The WWE doesn't like the internet telling them who to push as a star, so they responded by making Zack Ryder lose his next 100 matches in a row. The moral being that internet fame never helped anyone achieve anything ever.: What about the guy who does MSPaintAdventures?: Given what his webcomic has left in its wake, I can't imagine that he's particularly happy with his lot in life either. : Anyway, W's win Ed Delahanty. Keep him away from trains and bridges.: Only one more challenge to go!: Right, the Mooglies have hired the Cultists to play this challenge for them, and they'll face the New New York Fighting Mongooses. The Following is a Three-Star Challenge. If the Cultists win, the Mooglies will receive Hank Greenberg. If they lose, the Mooglies will forfeit Travis Hafner and a 2nd-Round Pick.  : Mongooses take Game 1.: So, uh, about this Nostalgia Week... : Cultists tie it up. And Nostalgia week should be fun. Unless your team gets compared to the Swat Kats. That would be less fun. : Mongooses win Game 3, but I don't see them winning this series.: Right, but isn't this the sort of thing that you have to be the exact right age to appreciate? Also, don't you have to be from America, too? Doesn't that mean that the majority of owners won't get it? : Cultists start rapping this up. And, I don't know, I guess there is that risk, especially since the cartoons I picked are more obscure...probably because I had terrible taste as a child and I always latched onto the worst cartoons there were on TV.: Did you do G.I. Joe? Or Transformers? Those are universal!: Transformers was a couple of years before my time, actually. And when did G.I. Joe run? Wasn't that in 1985 or something? Because I don't think I was born for most of that. : Cultists look about done here. And, yeah, but I wanted pick shows I actually watched as a kid.: So...this is another one of those things where you make your LP as inaccessible as possible and then complain when not many people read it?: ...Maybe. : Mooglies win Greenberg, and let's hope that doesn't lead to any more Cultists' challenges. See you tomorrow for more challenges!Numbers and Nostalgia: A Deadly Combination I'll give you the name of the cartoon that most resembles your team, but it'll be up to you to interpret what I'm getting at.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Mighty Max Mighty Max was about a show about a kid who had a magical baseball hat that could open portals in time and space. From what I can remember, an evil villain wanted said baseball hat so he could invade the Earth...or maybe he just collected hats, I can't remember. Anyway, Mighty Max was protected by a viking and a chicken-man, who guided him on his quest to stop evil or whatever it was that he did.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Ultraforce Ultraforce was a show featuring a line of Super-Heroes that were originally featured in a comic book line that last for about two years in the early '90s. They are painfully unmemorable. Then again, you look at the characters, and they all seem serviceable enough. You've got the leader dude with a ponytail (remember, this was the early '90s), the Iron Man rip-off, and some other characters that didn't seem too awful, but damned if can remember much about any of them. They're just kind of their. Hell, I watched the intro again as I started writing this paragraph, and I already forgot 90% of characters from that show. Was their a dude with axes for hands? If not, shouldn't there have been?       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Beetlejuice For those of you who don't remember, there was a cartoon of Beetlejuice back in the day, and it was one forever. Or maybe it just seemed like it was on forever. Now, my recollection is that it was never a bad show, exactly, but I don't recall ever thinking to myself, "Oh boy, Beetlejuice is on!" In fact, I can't even remember a single episode of the show. Or any of the characters. I guess the character named Beetlejuice was in it, though, and the girl from the movie, I think she was in it, too.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Thundercats Thundercats also seemed to last a long time for a cartoon show of that era. Now, I'll grant you that Thundercats had a certain style to it, and that's allowed to live longer in people's minds than most of the shows I'm discussing here, but I'm not sure it was a better show, so much as it just had a unique look. Also, I never had any idea exactly where the gently caress the series was supposed to take place on. The future of earth? The past? Some alternate universe? No idea, man. Anyway, the story is that the last survivors of the cat-people planet have to come to Earth to start a new life. And then an evil mummy decided that he really, really needed to kill them all, and that was about it.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Earthworm Jim Earthworm Jim was an adaptation of the video game series, and featured a worm in a super-suit who, you know, you just had to be there, but I remember liking it.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Voltron Voltron was a series about a bunch of dudes who piloted a giant robot against monsters from some evil space empire. And that's what happened in every loving episode. Now, I know that most children's shows are formulaic, but it felt like 60% of every Voltron episode was stock footage. Every episode started with the evil alien king being pissed off that he still couldn't loving kill Voltron, and then his evil witch would show off a new monster she created that was finally, finally, finally going to get the job done. And so they send the monster, it arrives, and Voltron stomps it to death in exactly six minutes and 37 seconds. And that was every loving episode. gently caress.      The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Captain Planet Much like the WCW, Captain Planet was an attempt by Ted Turner to show that he was capable of doing things other than ruthless corporate takeovers. This show was about a group of teenagers drawn from all over the globe that were supposed to protect the environment. Now, of course, that led to a problem, because most of the threats to the environment are from big multinational corporations and the governments that abetted them, and, well, it would have been a pretty loving boring show if all the Planeteers did was file for injunctive relief to force the EPA to list the Northern Spotted Owl as an endangered species. I mean, "by your motions combined, I am a temporary restraining order!" doesn't exactly move merchandise. So, instead, they created villains who basically went out of their way to pollute for no good reason at all, other than pure malice. You know, it does kind of make me wonder how much damage companies under the control of Ted Turner have done to the environment, though.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Silverhawks Silverhawks makes no loving sense at all. It's about cyborgs in space, I think, and the intro shows them flying, which is great and all, except there in loving space, where the laws of aerodynamics don't function too well because of a lack of 'aero' and all. But there's a cyborg man-hawk that wears a cowboy hat and plays the most '80s guitar ever. On the one hand, that sentence may be the least-sensical thing I have ever written. On the other, there's a certain inspired insanity required to get there, first, you have to decide that you want to create a super-team. Then you have to say to yourselves, "Hey, let's make them cyborgs!" and then your coked out writing partner has to say, "Wait, why not cyborg hawks?", and then you take a hit of cocaine and say, "Yeah, and one of them can be a cowboy! And he could have a guitar!" And then you OD and die. But they find your notes and make Silverhawks.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Hammerman Okay, so, there are these magical shoes, which can talk, by the way, and a the main character can put them on to turn into Hammerman. That's right, it's a series where the protagonists super-power is becoming MC Hammer. Obviously, that doesn't sound to impressive unless your enemy is "Lasting-Fame Man" or "Captain Financial Solvency". The funny thing is that, due to how long it takes to animate a show, but the time the series debuted, MC Hammer was already fading, meaning that at no time was this show timely or relevant, even when it first premiered. Now that is impressive.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... WildC.A.T.S. The WildC.A.T.S., as the intro tells us, were created by Jim Lee, and were one of the '90iest comics and cartoons ever created. I mean, just look at those guys! Pouches! Completely impracticable weapons! And the characters all had names like "Grifter" or "Zealot" or "Spartan". It was all about style over substance, and for a couple of years, it worked so great that Rob Liefield was able to buy an entire county in Idaho to run as his own private domain. And then the kids of my generation learned to read, and it all got ugly real fast once we all realized that none of these stories made any loving sense at all.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Biker Mice From Mars This show existed. Okay. All of these shows existed, of course, but I feel like you might believe in the existence of this one. But yeah, it's real. Okay? Anyway, this show is the result of the most craven calculation every made by marketing executives. This was the era of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their many imitators, but this was probably the dumbest one. I mean, it's loving rat-men on motorcycles...and they're from Mars. For the life of me, I can't remember how the hell that worked. Maybe there were space-motorcycles? Again, I drawing a blank, but I don't really want to go back and actually watch an episode, as that might kill me.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Bionic 6 I don't remember this show at all!       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Swat Kats I think, at some point, someone asked what would happen if you mixed Top Gun and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Cats together. Unfortunately, that man was the guy who ran Hanna-Barbara at the time, and so the resulting cartoon was forced into production, despite the fact that every single person who worked on it was sure that it was a bad idea. I mean, to be sure, there's no way that anyone could have thought this was a good idea, after all. It's a cartoon about two cats who fly around in a souped-up jet and blow up monsters, and I think I've just stated the premise in about as positive a way as possible. Anyway, since 90% of every episode featured jets flying right next to skyscrapers, I think it's fair to say that none of us will ever see it on TV again.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Conan the Adventurer Conan the Adventurer had a theme that almost made its premise not seem completely awful. Almost. The problem was that Conan, most of the time, was a dude with a sword who killed people, a lot of people, and that's not really something you can put on a children's cartoon. So, instead, Conan's enemies were 'serpent men' who could be sent to 'another dimension' by being hit by a special kind of metal. Also, they gave him a bunch of sidekicks. There was the woman, the black dude, a baby phoenix, and probably some other guys I can't remember. Still, it was almost cool, albeit in an era when most cartoons really, really sucked (see: just about every cartoon I've discussed in this update).      The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? Not the game show, mind you, but a completely different cartoon series that was on television around the same time. This was a cartoon series about two kid detectives who tried to capture Carmen Sandiego and failed every single week. She always got away. And it gets worse, because Carmen, apparently due to an undiagnosed mental illness, was compelled to leave clues to her next destination at every crime scene, making detectives' jobs even easier. Oh, and the detectives also had a teleporter that could transport them around the world in seconds. And they still hosed it up every drat week. I'm not exactly sure what lesson I was supposed to draw from that as a child, maybe, "As long as man continues to tread upon this earth, crime shall follow in his footsteps" or maybe "When trying to capture a master thief, do not rely on a brother-and-sister teen detective team." I don't know. Oh, and the theme isn't sung by Rockapella, either.       The Late '80-Mid '90s Cartoon that Best Matches Your Team... King Arthur and the Knights of Justice See, I'm pretty sure what happened with this show is that a bunch of guys got together to design the perfect cartoon to sell action figures to eight-year olds, and cocked it up completely. You had Suit #1 going, "You know what boys like? Knights!" which is true, and then you have Suit #2 going, "Yeah, and football!" which is true. And then you had Suit #3 going, "But parents don't like violence, so let's try and cut out as much violence as possible!" Which kind of a big problem if your show is based on knights and football. Oh, right, you're probably still wondering how the gently caress knights and football go together. Well, back in ye olden times, King Arthur and his knights get captured, which kind of fucks over Camelot. So Merlin, being magical and all, summons a football team from the present to become the new knights of Camelot and save King Arthur and pals. Oh, and the name of the quarterback/captain of the football team? It was, however, the very last cartoon with an '80s rock theme song, so I guess it wasn't all bad. Standings and Leaders    
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Oct 3, 2012 02:39
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The Super-League VII Challenge Series Contest: Your Smasher Sanity Depreciation Station So, you've gone through the dispersal draft, or you want to fix your mediocre returning team, and you're one piece away from greatness. Oh, you could wait for the Super-Draft around the midpoint of the season, but can you afford to wait? Well, if you're willing to take a risk, then maybe I can help you out... Here's how the challenge works. You put up your Super-Draft picks, or an equivalent consideration, and choose which level of challenge you want to face. You win, you get a player from that tier of prizes, you lose, I take your draft picks or whatever it is you put up. And, of course, there's nothing really stopping you from challenging more than once... To win, all you have to do is win a best-of-seven series against one of the teams listed under your chosen level of the challenge. Which team you'll be challenging will be randomly selected, so you won't know which one you'll be facing. One-Star Challenges (*) Winnable, but not automatic Possible Teams Anchorage Penguins (0-1) Atlantis Unspecifieds Atlantis Aquamen (SLVI) (1-0) Boston Crabs (SLIV) (1-0) Boston Crabs (SLVI) (0-1) Brooklyn Bombers (SLII) Brooklyn Bombers (SLIV) Brooklyn Bronies California Unspecifieds (1-1) Cleveland Communists (1-0) Des Moines Dervishes (SLIV) Dorchester Phantoms (0-1) East St. Louis Electrics (0-1) Falmouth Clippers (0-1) Free Country Fhqwhgads (0-1) Greater Googly-Mooglies (0-1) Hakata Runnin' Ramen Hill Valley Biffs (1-0) Jackson Jerks of Mississippi Jerk City Philosophers Kodak Googles Kolkata Indians (0-1) Las Vegas Gamblers (0-1) London Calling (1-0) Motor City Bengals (0-1) Newport Sharks (SLI) Newport Sharks (SLII) #OccupySuperLeague (0-1) Philadelphia Longshots Rockford Losers (SLIII) (1-0) San Francisco Clues Seattle Homers (2-0) Senadores de San Juan (SLII) Stevie Mitch Specials (1-0) Toronto Ravens Vancouver Loonies (0-1) Rewards C - '99 Jason Kendall (JUN) 1B - '08 Carlos Delgado (SES) 2B - '07 Dustin Pedroia (SES) 3B - '37 Red Rolfe (ATA) RF - '18 Ross Youngs (DES) DH - '09 Mark Reynolds (LAV) SP - '79 Phil Niekro (HAK) SP - '26 Urban Shocker (SLA/DOR) RP - '99 Jason Isringhausen (EVV) Two-Star Challenges (**) The teams aren't so good, but neither are the players. Possible Teams Baltimore Blind Men (0-3) Cleveland Unicorns (SLI) (0-2) Des Moine Dervishes (SLII) (0-2) EV-IL Corp. Villains (1-0) Greenbrier Orchids (0-1) Idaho Potatoes (1-1) Mid-Northern Suicidal Tendencies Mudville Masochists (0-2) Paris Postmodernists (1-1) San Diego Freewheelers (0-1) Senadores de San Juan (SLI) (0-1) Silicon Valley Wanzers (2-0) Tigres de San Juan (0-1) Rewards C - '73 Thurman Munson (VAN/SES) 1B - '05 Ryan Howard (FRA/PRO) 2B - '85 Julio Franco (PRO) 3B - '02 Aramis Ramirez (IDA) LF - '10 Ryan Braun (MLD) CF - '79 Dale Murphy (HAK) RF - '97 Sammy Sosa (DER) SP - '21 George Uhle (DES) SP - '90 Kevin Brown (SFC/PRO) Three-Star Challenges (***) Solid fights for solid players. Possible Teams Atlantis Aquamen (SLIII-SLIV) (1-0) Angel Grove Power Rangers (0-1) Boston Crabs (SLI-SLII) (0-1) Chicago Dinger-Machines (0-1) Deadwood Cutthroats (0-1) Detroit Riots (1-1) Detroit Original Riots (1-2) Detroit Switchblades (1-1) Honolulu Lava Flows Juneau Juggernauts (SLI) Leprechauns (1-0) Milwaukee Drinkers (0-2) New New York Fighting Mongooses (1-1) New Orleans Hurricanes (1-0) Omaha Forgettables (SLIII) (0-1) Omaha Forgettables (SLV) Oyster Cult Blues (0-2) Petaluma Goose Eggs (1-0) Rewards C - '22 Gabby Hartnett (GRE/GAN) 1B - '85 Don Mattingly (NNY/VIR) 3B - '82 Paul Molitor (GRE) LF - '81 Tim Raines (GAN) RF - '70 Reggie Jackson (NNY/DER) SP - '50 Robin Roberts (PHL) SP - '62 Gaylord Perry (SES) SP - '90 Randy Johnson (CLU/DER) RP - '05 Billy Wagner (FRA/SES) RP - '89 John Franco (SES) Four-Star Challenges (****) How much are you willing to risk for a star player? Possible Teams Chicago Blood Sox (2-1) Framingham Fillies (1-1) Newport Sharks (SLV-SLVI) (1-0) Queens Mercuries (0-2) Providence Murderbots (1-2) Seattle SuperSonics (1-0) Virginia City Vigilantes (1-2) Rewards C - '99 Mike Piazza (EVV) 1B - '64 Harmon Killebrew (SES) 2B - '69 Joe Morgan (LEP) 3B - '83 George Brett (BLI/CHB) SS - '95 Alex Rodriguez (SES) LF - '67 Carl Yastrzemski (PHL) CF - '18 Ty Cobb (DOR) RF - '92 Tony Gwynn (LEP) SP - '03 Rube Waddell (SES) SP - '03 Eddie Plank (NEW/PRO) SP - '12 Christy Mathewson (SES) SP - '59 Bob Gibson (SES) RP - '84 Dan Quisenberry (BLI) RP - '98 Trevor Hoffman (VAN) Five-Star Challenges (*****) You're probably not going to win...but what if you did? Possible Teams Boston Skyhawks (6-0) Gander Doppel-Bangers (2-2) Rewards C - '75 Johnny Bench (MID) 1B - '37 Lou Gehrig (ATA) 2B - '21 Rogers Hornsby (DEM) 3B - '80 Mike Schmidt (BSC) CF - '37 Joe DiMaggio (ATA) RF - '58 Hank Aaron (DEM) DH - '20 Babe loving Ruth (QUE) SP - '16 Walter Johnson (ATA) SP - '00 Randy Johnson (PRP/DOR) SP - '04 Ed Walsh (CHB) SP - '93 Roger Clemens (BSC) RP - '01 Mariano Rivera (CLU/PRO) RP - '77 Bruce Sutter (KOL/LEP)
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Oct 3, 2012 02:48
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 Ah, I knew that deal with the Cultists would pay off. Ted Lilly will be missed, but I can't tell you how good it feels to have old Hank in the lineup. Speaking of which, new lineups! vs RHP 1. Shin-Soo Choo RF 2. Jeff Bagwell 1B 3. Ted Williams LF 4. Hank Greenberg DH 5. Earl Averill CF 6. Cal Ripken, Jr. SS 7. Alex Avila C 8. Brooks Robinson 3B 9. Jim Delahanty 2B vs LHP 1. Cal Ripken, Jr. SS 2. Jeff Bagwell 1B 3. Ted Williams LF 4. Hank Greenberg DH 5. Earl Averill CF 6. Joe Carter RF 7. Chief Meyers C 8. Brooks Robinson 3B 9. Jim Delahanty 2B Please send 1911 "Lightning" Amos Strunk to the minors.
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Oct 3, 2012 02:59
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Resetting my lineups now that Charleston is healthy again... vs RHP LF Speaker SS Cronin 1B Thomas CF Charleston RF Robinson 3B Youkilis C Torre/Martinez 2B Frisch P Pitcher vs LHP LF Speaker SS Cronin 1B Thomas RF Robinson CF Charleston 3B Youkilis C Torre/Martinez 2B Frisch P Pitcher
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Oct 3, 2012 03:00
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Super Draft #1 pick and Corey Hart for *-challenge at '26 Urban Shocker. If I lose, I'm hosed. But really, even if I win I'm hosed. On hold. theacox fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Oct 3, 2012 |
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Oct 3, 2012 03:04
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theacox posted:
Do not do this. gently caress, let me sell you something instead. What do you want for that pick?
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Oct 3, 2012 03:09
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Cthulhu Dreams posted:Do not do this. gently caress, let me sell you something instead. What do you want for that pick? Bring me your SPs.
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Oct 3, 2012 03:10
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theacox posted:Bring me your SPs. 2011 Justin Verlander 2009 Cliff Lee 2001 Mike Mussina 1911 Chief Bender Pick one.
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Oct 3, 2012 03:13
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[quote="Armitage" post="408098812"]: To be honest it seems like Tony Fernandez is not that huge of a drop off from Troy Tulowitzki anyway. Call up Tony Fernandez and Danny Darwin. vs. left handed pitchers (no DH) 1) 1B George Sisler 2) RF Al Kaline 3) LF Matt Holliday 4) 2B Robinson Cano 5) CF Indian Bob Johnson 6) 3B Buddy Bell 7) C Ernie Whitt 8) SS Tony Fernandez 9) Pitching Spot vs. right handed pitchers (no DH) 1) 1B George Sisler 2) 2B Robinson Cano 3) CF Indian Bob Johnson 4) LF Ken Williams 5) RF Al Kaline 6) C Ernie Whitt 7) 3B Rance Mulliniks 8) SS Tony Fernandez 9) Pitching Spot vs. left handed pitchers (DH) 1) 1B George Sisler 2) RF Al Kaline 3) DH George Bell 4) 2B Robinson Cano 5) CF Indian Bob Johnson 6) LF Matt Holliday 7) 3B Buddy Bell 8) C Ernie Whitt 9) SS Tony Fernandez vs. right handed pitchers (DH) 1) 1B George Sisler 2) 2B Robinson Cano 3) CF Indian Bob Johnson 4) LF Ken Williams 5) RF Al Kaline 6) DH Matt Holliday 7) C Ernie Whitt 8) 3B Rance Mulliniks 9) SS Tony Fernandez Just slot in Danny Darwin where Jimmy Key used to be. Makes me wish we could challenge for John Lackey. Dude kicks all sorts of rear end and is not a bad pitcher in any way shape or form and he never was. No siree-bob. He is not. Don't listen to Red Sox fans because they are lying through their teeth!
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Oct 3, 2012 03:16
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Rated R Superstars Well, that was...a bit more exciting than we would have liked. Still, we got our man, and that's what counts. Now, to find out who Jesse Orosco will be replacing, we turn once again to the Wheel of Mediocrity!  Wheel of Mediocrity, turn turn turn, tell us the pitcher that we should burn...  You? But we just added you. No! Take Scott Downs instead. New pitching lineup: SP1. Grover Cleveland Alexander SP2. Roy Halladay SP3. Adam Wainwright SP4. David Cone SP5. Chris Carpenter LR AJ Burnett MR John Rocker SR Jason Motte SR Jesse Orosco SU Chris Perez CL BJ Ryan
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Oct 3, 2012 03:19
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theacox posted:Bring me your SPs. Pedro Martinez? Plus a bench piece or something?
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Oct 3, 2012 03:19
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Cthulhu what year is your Pedro?
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Oct 3, 2012 03:22
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theacox posted:Cthulhu what year is your Pedro? 2004. He's not going to clean house like the Luna Landers one, who is the best pitcher in the league, but he'll still do very well. Please remember when looking at players in BM2013 it uses their career values mapped to a curve (this is why 2001 bonds is worse than 1998 bonds). I can do Steve Carlton instead who might be better. How about Steve Carlton (age 33) or 2004 Pedro Martinez, Frank Smith (1911 Spitballer, rated 93ish, will throw a million innings and induce ground balls I hope your defence is good) and a position player from my outfield platoons - Kiki Cuyler, hall of fame speedster who can play LF or RF well and CF okayish. Edit: You can replace Frank Smith with Steve Avery or Ted Lilly if you want to as well.  Trade offer1st pick for 1) Steve Carlton or Pedro Martinez (Carlton is the best) 2) Frank Smith, Steve Avery or Ted Lilly (Frank Smith is the best) 3) Jim Rice or Kiki Cuyler (Rice has much more power, Kiki is a slap hitting base stealer, neither really deserves their hall of fame slot, but they have it!) 4) You can use my team for free in any remaining challenges you want (you still have to supply the capital). We can crush 1 and 2 star challenges, and we smashed the 3 star challenge so we should be good. Cthulhu Dreams fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Oct 3, 2012 |
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Oct 3, 2012 03:27
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Not nearly as good as mine. Mine's not for sale but I will offer you either Coveleski or Falkenberg, and I'd consider throwing in 1991 David Cone but I'd need some sort of starter in compensation for that addition to replenish the back end of my rotation/minor leagues.
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Oct 3, 2012 03:27
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Theacox, just for reference, here was the last deal that was made for the rights to draft Ted Williams:quote:Unspecifieds offer: As you can see, a good quality SP, a very good 3B, decent reliever and draft picks that became Yogi Berra and Lance Parrish (a solid power-hitting catcher) were what it took to get a 20 year old Ted Williams. Don't give away (potentially!) a 36 year old version lightly. Beet fucked around with this message at 04:17 on Oct 3, 2012 |
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Oct 3, 2012 03:42
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| # ? May 10, 2024 20:24 |
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Beet posted:Theacox, just for reference, here was the last deal that was made for the rights to draft Ted Williams: While this is totally fair, it's also not assured that this pick is ted williams. It does rate to be a good player though, so consider this!
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Oct 3, 2012 03:45
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