BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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«‹›1996 »

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

Smasher Dynamo posted:

We have a new European Champion!

Nothing lasts forever, even titles obtained by corrupt bargains, it seems.

I hope it was to the Gumshoes, so that Det. Slaught can savor his pathetic temporary triumph before I have him crushed.

# ? Oct 5, 2012 22:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 08:16

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Superstars, LLC extends its sincerest congratulations to the new European Champions.

# ? Oct 5, 2012 22:05

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Owner: Successful Student
Location: Newport, RI
Home Grounds: Chase Field

Teams Used
1920 Boston Red Sox
1939 Boston Red Sox
1989 Kansas City Royals
1995 Boston Red Sox

Record
Super-League V
86-76, 2nd Place, Mark Bellhorn Division, Smasher League Wildcard
Lost to Seattle SuperSonics 0-3 in SLDS
Super-League VI
87-76, Mark Bellhorn Division Champions
Defeated Seattle SuperSonics 3-2 in SLDS
Lost to Los Angeles Bobbleheads 1-4 in SLCS
Retired

Ted Williams, Eulogy for the Newport Sharks posted:

Maybe I waited too long to do this, but it took me some loving time to figure out what I wanted to say about Student.

He wasn't a bad guy. I can definitely say that about him. Dumb? Maybe. Addicted to making really loving stupid trades? Absolutely. Constantly veering between panic and hyper-panic? Yeah, he did that too. But he wasn't a bad guy.

And yeah, I was hard on him. I called him 'loving stupid' and 'the biggest drat moron on this entire loving planet' and I even once said that his existence 'made me doubt the existence of evolution because there is no way in hell that any sort of system of natural selection could possibly result in you'.

In my defense, here was a guy whose every trade felt like a panic trade. Hell, I remember when he sold our Super-Draft picks before the season even started because he was worried that at some point in the season we might need another pitcher or something. I think he traded our second-round pick for Mike loving Norris at the same time, too, which was just a loving brilliant move that paid enormous dividends.

Oh, and the Catfish Hunter challenge, that was just loving brilliant! Catfish Hunter never helped any team in the Super-League, but now we're going to risk players to get him? And then we loving lose? That was a loving disgrace.

And let's not forget that near the end of every season, even when we were doing well, he'd start writing out his 'will' so he could disperse his team if they didn't win the championship or whatever. Every loving time! He had no faith that things were going to work out, he assumed that every time we had a bump in the road that it was going to completely break the entire team. It was loving ridiculous.

But one day, we did it. We won the loving Mark Bellhorn Division, and it looked like, one of these days, we were finally going to make a run at the championship.

And then Student retired the entire loving team. Because, if there was one thing that Student sucked at more than being a failure, it was being a success.

I'll loving miss him.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 03:43

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

PHOENIXES ROMP TO FIRST-PLACE WITH 5-2 WIN OVER SUPERSTARS

Toronto- In the real world, corporations have, in many spheres of life, proven themselves to be unstoppable colossi that trample over everything in their path.

In the Super-League, it's proven to be a tougher road to hoe for the new corporate teams.

In the Dynamo League, the Bearers appear anchored to the bottom half of the Vae Victis Division while in the Smasher League, the Superstars appear no better off, dropping another game to the Phoenixes today.

Predictably, it was their hastily constructed bullpen that did them in as Jesse Orosco and B.J. Ryan were simply not good enough to hold off the Phoenixes' powerful offense long enough, with the Phoenixes coming through with three runs in the top of tenth inning to give the Phoenixes a win and, more importantly, a full-game lead in the Mark Bellhorn Division.

That did cause some frustration in the Superstars' locker room as not a single one of the Superstars' owners were in attendance in today's game, being busy with their own teams or, in the case of Pungry, watching a set of DVDs of the 2010 Little League World Series. This left the Superstars' feeling abandoned and confusing, especially Howard Johnson, who has been starting at shortstop despite a complete lack of ability to play that position. "I mean, I've been trying, but I don't actually know what I'm supposed to do. Like, what is the proper technique for fielding a grounder? Are you allowed to throw your glove at the ball to catch it? Also, can I bring my bat out when I'm fielding? I mean, I know that other fielders don't, but I'm wondering if there's a rule against it, because I just feel more comfortable with it. I know that I'm not a good fielder, everyone tells me so, but I'm a good hitter, so, if I can take the bat with me, I think I can take my hitting abilities into the field. That could work, right? Right?"

Matt Williams, also a newcomer to the team, had a different problem, "Okay, okay, okay, okay, I've been doing some thinking. Now, my OBP kind of sucks, I mean, it's .250, and that's a problem, because I am really lovely at drawing walks. So, I have a proposal. Using the finest technology available, I suggest that me and Howard Johnson merge into a single being named Howilliams Monsoon. This new being would have my fielding ability, and Johnson's ability to draw a walk, along with both of our power hitting combined. Make it happen, shareholders! Together, we'll be more powerful than anything you can possibly imagine!"

The winning team was owned by Marauder, which meant he also had an opportunity to speak to his heart's content. He appeared more relaxed than usual, wearing his smoking jacket and carrying a goblet of brandy with him. "Greetings friends and well-wishers. I must admit, when the season began, I was unsure what would become of my Phoenixes. And yet, without overmuch effort, we are once more the leaders of the Mark Bellhorn Division. Delightful! I do, however, bear some good news for this...Superstars Conglomeration. I have been in contact with the Commissar, and he has intimated to me that, due to a variety of logistical concerns, that the faction war may have to be delaying until some future date. That is a good news for the Superstars syndicate, as most of your teams have...cooled off a bit of late. Why, it's almost as if doing things like relying on ancient Hornsby or Howard Johnson at shortstop were not the wisest decisions they could have made. In fact, that last choice, Howard Johnson at shortstop seems almost more a jest than anything else. Five of you, and not a single one realizes that Howard Johnson cannot play shortstop? You would think that it would only take one of you looking at Mr. Johnson's baseball reference page for a moment to realize the absurdity of such an act, and yet apparently not one of you did. In fact, the lot of you actually went out of your way, through a challenge, to acquire Johnson so as to install him as shortstop, a position he is not even remotely capable of playing! Fantastic! Simply fantastic."

Box Score

Don May posted:

YOSHIDA SHINES AS W'S RALLY 8-5 AGAINST COMANCHEROS

South Bolton- What the hell happened here?

The oddity of tonight's game began in the top of the fourth inning when Jack McDowell, not particularly sharp in the game, abruptly halted the contest and asking to be patched into the stadium's PA system so he could explain what was happening. "I can't get my arm loose today," he began, rubbing his arm, "You know, it happens from time to time, your arm stays tight and you can't get it loose. Now, most times, I would work through this, but, let's be honest, the Comancheros don't deserve that. They're just another flavorless team that's clogging up the Super-League. I mean, whatever happened to teams like the Switchblades? Or Sharks? Or Drinkers? All we have today are these bland teams filled with bland players, running together in our heads and making the Super-League a little less magical every time they show up. I hate the Comancheros. I hate what they're doing to the Super-League, and what they're doing to the fans of the Super-League. No one wants to hear about them, no one really wants them to succeed, and I'm almost at a loss on how to deal with them." McDowell then gripped his chin with his hand, as if deep in thought. After a moment, he started up again, "You know, come to think of it, I think I have a solution that will solve all of these problems at the same time. It will entertain the fans, humiliate the Comancheros and save my arm some stress. But, you might ask, just how can I do this? Am I a magician? Some kind of baseball messiah here to save the Super-League from its sins?" McDowell paused, as if amazed by his own words.

"Well, the latter might be true, but this solution is something a bit less than a miracle. Here to relieve me, Jack McDowell, I summon forth...Eri Yoshida! That's right, Comancheros! I'm going to just retire to the showers and leave a 5'1'', 120 pound girl to kick your asses!" Yoshida, startled to be put into the game this early, gingerly approached the mound where McDowell handed her the ball before leaving the field, stunning the crowd in attendance.

But maybe McDowell is some sort of messiah, as Yoshida, true to Jack's word, was able to hold down the famously potent Comancheros' offense to just one run over 4.1 innings, slowing them down long enough for the W's to come back and take a surprising 8-5 win.

This series of events infuriated Warm Sarsaparilla, who owns the Comancheros. "You're telling me that I've put together all of these cocksuckers who are supposed to be god-damned offensive beasts, and this assemblage of talent can't even get score more than one loving run against a little girl? I don't feel much like a revolutionary today, I feel like I'm the warden for a loving prison designed for prisoners convicted of the crime of being the world's biggest pu-...you know, that's not fair, since we just got our asses kicked by a girl! That's just loving fantastic!"

Box Score

Don May posted:

JUGGS WIN 2-0, GREINKE TERRIFIED OF FACTORIALITE

Milton Keynes- In a game played either in the new town of Milton Keynes or in the tomb of that famous economist, the Juggernauts held the Mathematicians to only two hits, taking a surprisingly easy 2-0 win on the road.

Most of the credit for the win has to go to Zack Greinke, who went seven strong innings, allowing two hits and no walks while striking out eight. Still, he was concerned after the game that factorialite didn't let him finish the game because he didn't like him, "I mean, why take me out of the game? I thought I was doing a good job, right? You guys thought I was okay, though...I mean, okay, it could have gone better, but I was better than I usually was, right? Oh, god, factorialite's going to kill me, isn't he? I blew it, just like I always do, didn't I? Why am I so stupid?" Greinke then started hitting his head against the podium he was standing at until he knocked himself unconscious, at which point factorialite stepped up to give his own post-game talk with the press.

"First of all, I don't hate Zack Greinke, that's way too loving soft a word. I mean, I want to suffer forever for what he's been doing to my team. Oh, we won? That's great, but it doesn't make up for your 7.12 ERA, does it? I'd get rid of him, but all of my other pitchers suck so badly that I have no choice to use at #5? And who's fault is that? Dynamo's! He's the one that made my real pitchers tank so hard that I had to trade them for guys like Zack Greinke! If he had treated them fairly, I never would have made all those bad trades that left me with Zack Greinke as my fifth starter! Apologize, Smasher! Apologize now!"

Box Score

Numbers!

Analysis

Another tough week as Andruw Jones is apparently deadset on being as unhelpful as possible. I'd suggest you replace him, but the only other center fielder you have on the roster is ancient Bernie Williams, so I don't recommend it.

Analysis

Al Simmons is back. Adjust your lineup accordingly.

Analysis

Mark McGwire is having a....troubling season. I guess you just have to hope that your offensive machine starts moving again. Admittedly, that's a bit hard when if seems like your team is melting down, but they can't be this bad for too long, can they?

Analysis

The Phoenixes aren't good in any particular facet of the game, but they aren't bad in any of them, either, and that's been enough for them so far.

Analysis

Good News: Your pitching is rocking!

Bad News: Your position players are clearly working together to destroy your team from the inside.

Analysis

I'm not sure what made you think that Billy Martin and Gil McDougald were good enough to start in the Super-League but-

Wait...are you being haunted by Billy Martin, right now? And his ghost is making you play him at second? drat it! The medium was right! Martin's ghost is not resting easy!

It's okay, grinnblade, I can help you. All you need to do is summon the spirit of George Steinbrenner to fire the spirit of Billy Martin. That ought to set everything right!

Analysis

Actually, your team isn't doing that badly, especially on offense, where your batters have banded together to draw a metric fuckton of walks. Clearly, I'm setting you up for a bigger fall.

Analysis

Probably the most complete team in the Smasher League, even if I don't think that DiMaggio is going to bat above .400 the rest of the way.

Analysis

Braun at third base is...wait, you're a Brewers fan, aren't you? And you still put Braun at third? Terrible, just terrible.

Analysis

Okay, well, your lineup is in order now so...let's talk about Jimmy Key...

Analysis

Do you not have a backup catcher? If so, you really, really, really, really, really need to get a backup catcher.

Analysis

Give in to Howilliams Monsoon!

Analysis

Not a great month.

Analysis

: Hi, I'm Kazuhiro Sasaki, a member of the legacy, and I just wanted to stop in to assure you that my silence is not indicative of any sort of 'Oriental inscrutability', it's just that I don't really have much to say. Thanks for your time.

Analysis

Both of your lefty starting pitchers are crashing and burning. I'm not sure that it's because they're left-handed, exactly, but it's something to keep an eye on.

Analysis

I'm really glad Rance Mulliniks didn't have any real outer space adventures because given his track record, every single one of them would end with the Earth being conquered by an alien warlord after Mulliniks botched something.

Standings and Leaders

# ? Oct 6, 2012 04:14

Senerio: Oct 19, 2009; Roëmænce is ælive!

Faction War: Whoever Wins, We Lose!
Standngs
Marauder's Marauders
Fukuoka Finger Bangers: 20-13 (Week 4-2)
Florida Oranges: 18-17 (Week 4-3)
Juneau Juggernauts: 17-17 (Week 5-1)
Luna Landers: 21-14 (Week 3-4)
Total: 76-61 (Week 16-10)
Win%: .55474453...
Superstars, LLC
Rated R Superstars: 15-19 (Week 2-4)
Portland Bulldogs: 22-12 (Week 6-0)
Great Googly Mooglies: 15-18 (Week 1-5)
R'yleh Cultists: 23-11 (Week 4-3)
Total: 75-60 (Week 13-12)
Win%: .55555 repeating

If I can get the images for the factions and a banner for the faction war I can make this look shinier next in-game week.

Senerio fucked around with this message at 04:41 on Oct 6, 2012

# ? Oct 6, 2012 04:35

Senerio: Oct 19, 2009; Roëmænce is ælive!

In other news:
Open offer to anyone who is not a part-owner of the Rated R Superstars
First person to accept the offer is automatically accepted.
I am selling my Six Shares of the Rated R Superstars to any owner who would like it.
The price: a Draft Pick.
If you are not a current Owner: A favor to be cashed in upon my request.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 04:58

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Time to give some guys a rest I suppose. Not pleased with Cano so he gets benched for a week.

I'll have a draft strategy after the next week of sims in both leagues. Better idea of where I potentially might pick.

vs. left handed pitchers (DH)

1) 1B George Sisler
2) RF Al Kaline
3) DH George Bell
4) CF Indian Bob Johnson
5) LF Ken Williams
6) 3B Buddy Bell
7) C Ernie Whitt
8) 2B Nellie Fox
9) SS Tony Fernandez

vs. right handed pitchers (DH)

1) 1B George Sisler
2) CF Indian Bob Johnson
3) LF Ken Williams
4) RF Al Kaline
5) DH George Bell
6) C Ernie Whitt
7) 3B Rance Mulliniks
8) 2B Nellie Fox
9) SS Tony Fernandez

# ? Oct 6, 2012 05:13

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

The Mooglies welcome Justin Verlander back to the rotation. Please send Lloyd Brown down to the minors, shift Mel Harder into his middle relief spot, and have Verlander take Harder's spot in the rotation.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 06:05

Faustoan Bargain: Dec 24, 2009; I'd sell my soul for a pitcher with a power sinker...

Senerio posted:

In other news:
Open offer to anyone who is not a part-owner of the Rated R Superstars
First person to accept the offer is automatically accepted.
I am selling my Six Shares of the Rated R Superstars to any owner who would like it.
The price: a Draft Pick.
If you are not a current Owner: A favor to be cashed in upon my request.

I'm not sure I'd know what I'm doing, but this would probably be a better way of learning than waiting until new registrations and trying to start from scratch, I'd hope; if you're not opposed to giving your shares to a complete rookie, I'm interested.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 06:18

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Faustoan Bargain posted:

I'm not sure I'd know what I'm doing, but this would probably be a better way of learning than waiting until new registrations and trying to start from scratch, I'd hope; if you're not opposed to giving your shares to a complete rookie, I'm interested.

If the league commissioner approves the deal, welcome to the team! But you should definately start a new team when registrations open as well.

We mostly hang around in IRC, join #RatedRSuperStars and say hi some time (synirc)

# ? Oct 6, 2012 06:53

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Actually, Faustoan Bargain, who I kind of feel compelled to call "Hernandean Bargain", does (backhandedly) raise an interesting point. We are going to enter another expansion period in a bit over two weeks, and I was hoping to find someone to run the Expansion Cup to take some of the workload off me.

Now, obviously, as cbx and tatankatonk can attest, the power trip probably isn't worth the amount of work involved but, with Cthulhu's scripts, it's probably more manageable than ever before.

To run the Expansion Cup you need:
-A copy of Baseball Mogul (preferably Baseball Mogul 2013)
-Free Time
-The ability to deal with a mob of cretinous owners who either don't know what they're doing or are trying to manipulate you
-Mild creative writing skills (very mild, hell, as long as you can put together a coherent sentence, you're probably fine)
-A love, ironic or otherwise, of Blue Oyster Cult's Imaginos album.

Everything else I can teach you.

Why would I want to do this?

You wouldn't. But some people have found it fun, just read these (fabricated) testimonials!

cbx posted:

When I started Expansion Cup V, I was full of life, had a great girlfriend, a steady job and now...now it's all fallen apart. My girlfriend barely speaks to me and the world has become a gray and dreary place. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't move on with my life. Every time I think about the Expansion Cup, I start crying. It's a wound in my brain that won't heal. Every day gets harder, and it's all the fault of the loving Expansion Cup.

If I ever met Smasher Dynamo on the street, I'd stab him to death, not for me, but to make sure that he couldn't do what he did to me to anyone else.

tatankatonk posted:

I ran Expansion Cup VI. Going into it, it seemed like a fun way to kill some time and support the thread.

I was so loving wrong.

It's hard for me to talk about what running the Expansion Cup did to me. Before I ran the Expansion Cup, I didn't know what it was like to gouge a man's eye right out of his skull. Now I do. You see, after the Expansion Cup, entering into underground fights to the death is the only thing that makes sense to me. It's all that's left for me.

So, are you man (or woman) enough to run the Expansion Cup? Sign up today!

# ? Oct 6, 2012 06:54

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Smasher Dynamo posted:

So, are you man (or woman) enough to run the Expansion Cup? Sign up today!

I would think that, as an interstellar traveler who rules over a planet of rock and roll, I would be an excellent choice to run the Expansion Cup. I'd take the other owners on a trip the likes of which they couldn't imagine, and together we'd conquer all our fears and become as one, achieving a brief moment of transcendence in the process.

I don't have Baseball Mogul, though; that might be a problem.

In other news, the Rated R Superstars are leaving the motel business, and moving Howard Johnson to the bench. Jhonny Peralta will step in as the new shortstop, batting ninth against both right- and lefthanded pitching.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 07:10

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

Smasher Dynamo posted:

So, are you man (or woman) enough to run the Expansion Cup? Sign up today!

I have very little better to do with my time, a goodly amount of experience with both the Super League and tinkering with the inner workings of Baseball Mogul. Furthermore, I do in fact have a copy of BBM '13 installed on my computer. I, too, will volunteer for expansion cup duties, may the best man win (or lose, as the case may be).

# ? Oct 6, 2012 08:16

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Put Simmons back into Left field for Kemp.

And can the rest of the team please refrain from breaking their own bones. We may have health care but that wasn't an offer to abuse it...

# ? Oct 6, 2012 08:32

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Well, if more than one person is interested, the only logical solution is to hold a competition. Unfortunately for all of you, it will be a competition designed by me in order to weed out the weak of heart and spirit. Yep, it's going to be intense, and this isn't just a transparent attempt for me to get some other people to finish up a couple of things for the thread I've been neglecting, either.

So, if you want to get in on this action, just let me know in the next few days.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 09:02

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Barrow Daydreams
Bob Shawkey (SP) (Eaten by Dragon) - 10 days

As long as all of my injuries keep occurring in my minors, I'm happy.

I'm very much less happy about my schedule. Unicorns-Bangers-Oranges-Losers back-to-back-to-back-to-back... I hope you enjoy this probable top-3 pick I'm giving you, mrnoun!

# ? Oct 6, 2012 11:41

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Well, if more than one person is interested, the only logical solution is to hold a competition. Unfortunately for all of you, it will be a competition designed by me in order to weed out the weak of heart and spirit. Yep, it's going to be intense, and this isn't just a transparent attempt for me to get some other people to finish up a couple of things for the thread I've been neglecting, either.

So, if you want to get in on this action, just let me know in the next few days.

Do you want some team building stuff? I might write a team building guide that may be of mixed quality, and I've got some tools to help with team building too.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 11:50

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

Marauder, let me know if you are still interested. I like the addition of Uehara. Let's get something done.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 15:12

Warm Sarsaparilla: Jan 3, 2012

Since my band of revolutionaries can't destroy a knuckleballer, I think we need to engage in some perestroika - south of the border style!

First, a minor change - bench Belle, since he unreasonably sucks, and send down McGwire. Call up Brian Giles to start in left, and I guess Baerga can keep playing at first.

Now, we're shipping off our entire rotation on a Re-education Vacation - except Blyleven, he's cool. Send down Gibson, Maddux, Siebert, and Tiant. If any of them attempt to retire - looking at you, Gibby - explain our 15 gram severance package. Call up Seaver, Hershiser, Garcia, Martinez to start 2-3-4-5.

Someone trade me a first baseman! Bearers - since you just lost Passeau, it's in your interest to move Bagwell for whatever you can get; offer stands.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 15:36

Archie Goodwin: Jan 2, 2012; Using intelligence guided by experience since 1934.

Young Chipper replaces old Schmidtty immediately at 3B, rest him in the minors, and also send down Von Hayes and Hank Thompson. Platoon Harold Baines and Dwight Evans in right; call up Dykstra for 4OF duty. No, Lenny, that's not a felony code.

I expect I'll be slotting Mel Harder in for Maglie, but let's see if he exploded this week first.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 15:46

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

I'd actually be interested in running the next EC. I have experience, I have the program and I have contempt for the vast majority of you guys. I think that makes me the only logical choice.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 15:54

Mooseontheloose: May 13, 2003

The Ted Sox

Move Brown to the #1 starter, Sphan to #4, and Katt to Long Relief with Ryan.

Also, have Al Evans Catch for Spahn and just switch him and elliot's place in the order when he bats.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 16:36

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

I'd better stick Ernie Lombardi out there at catcher for the nonce. Make Dickey Mays' personal catcher. Also, please bat him eighth and Barrence Larkin second. What's my SB slider at?

Sarsaparilla has given me an idea; Bearers, I will offer you your choice of Chrises Young or Short¹, haha, to stop you from using Sunday Teddy Lyons and his Knuckler of Doom. (The Doom to which I refer is yours, if that wasn't clear) Ship me Kenny Lofton in return, as well as your useless ~~Launch Ballman~~ Lance Berkman.

^[1] '06 Chris Young, 117 ERA+, and led the league in fewest hits allowed both that year and the next - his career was later derailed by injury, unfortunately; or '64 Chris Short, pride of Philadelphia, 158 ERA+, 1.020 WHIP, and an excellent 3.55 K/BB.

Last use of the Euro Championship banner, alas. For now.

Although the circumstances have certainly changed, I will accept your trade, theacox, if you don't object to sending me the underperforming Schoendienst as well as your pick. Just in case LaJoie explodes, I don't want to have to trot Omar Infante out there every day.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 16:44

Revenant Threshold: Jan 1, 2008

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Analysis

Do you not have a backup catcher? If so, you really, really, really, really, really need to get a backup catcher.

Well, I have a pubescent Mike Sweeney, so... no.

Speaking of, though, may I use a ratings challenge on Mr. Posey based on the year he's just had? I have 2011 Posey, who had a fun season-ending injury to park his stats. 2010 Posey had a 133 OPS+, and 2012 Posey, well, you get the idea. My Posey is currently enjoying a .226 OBA - in real life, his 2010/11/12 score was .357/.368/.408. Even adjusted for Super-League awesomeness, it's a jump.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 18:17

Viscount Slim: Mar 9, 2012

Smasher Dynamo posted:

St. Paul Bearers
Claude Passeau (SP) (No escape from Ted Lyons) - Out for Season

gently caress me rigid. OK, Bearers Owners! I propose we accept both the Comanchero and Phoenix offers, because we really need loving pitching, if Sarsaparilla throws in Todd Worrell for a bullpen patch.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 19:13

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Smasher League Week 7 Injury Report

No new champions

Luna Landers
Joe DiMaggio (CF) (Comfortably Numb) - 14 days

Rated R Superstars
David Freese (3B) (Spoke Against Possibility of Howilliams Monsoon) - 18 days

Ted Sox
Darren Oliver (RP) (SuperPACed!) - 108 days

# ? Oct 6, 2012 19:39

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

The Merry Marauder posted:

Although the circumstances have certainly changed, I will accept your trade, theacox, if you don't object to sending me the underperforming Schoendienst as well as your pick. Just in case LaJoie explodes, I don't want to have to trot Omar Infante out there every day.

Trade offer accepted.

Finger-Bangers get:

Super Draft 1st round pick
'49 Schoendienst

Mudholes get:

'97 Alomar
'71 Sutton
'02 Zito
'11 Uehara

Please confirm I have this right just to make it all official-like.

edit:

"Smasher Dynamo" posted:

Braun at third base is...wait, you're a Brewers fan, aren't you? And you still put Braun at third? Terrible, just terrible.

I could really put on my Brewers hat and put Sheffield at 3B. That way we could watch him intentionally throw balls into the stands instead of anywhere near the first baseman. (Do not do this.)

Oh man. Now I'm reliving the 1990 season in my head. :smithicide:

theacox fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Oct 6, 2012

# ? Oct 6, 2012 19:45

Mooseontheloose: May 13, 2003

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Smasher League Week 7 Injury Report

No new champions

Ted Sox
Darren Oliver (RP) (SuperPACed!) - 108 days

Well, such is life I guess.

Move Katt to Middle Relief, Sain to Long Relief.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 20:14

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

Viscount Slim posted:

gently caress me rigid. OK, Bearers Owners! I propose we accept both the Comanchero and Phoenix offers, because we really need loving pitching, if Sarsaparilla throws in Todd Worrell for a bullpen patch.

Approved

Revenant Threshold posted:

Well, I have a pubescent Mike Sweeney, so... no.

If it's a back-up catcher you're after, then I have a perfectly serviceable Roseboro that you can make an offer for good sir!

# ? Oct 6, 2012 20:44

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

theacox posted:

Trade offer accepted.

Finger-Bangers get:

Super Draft 1st round pick
'49 Schoendienst

Mudholes get:

'97 Alomar
'71 Sutton
'02 Zito
'11 Uehara

Please confirm I have this right just to make it all official-like.

Duly Confirmed.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 21:04

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Viscount Slim posted:

gently caress me rigid. OK, Bearers Owners! I propose we accept both the Comanchero and Phoenix offers, because we really need loving pitching, if Sarsaparilla throws in Todd Worrell for a bullpen patch.

In absence of competence on my part I approve of this trade.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 22:13

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

The Superstars will put Freese on the DL and call up 2009 Troy Glaus, I guess.

# ? Oct 6, 2012 22:41

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Games of the Week

blackmongoose posted:

For seven seasons, you have been asking: Who is blackmongoose? This is blackmongoose speaking. I am the man who loves his city-team. I am the man who does not sacrifice his city-team more than two times. I am the man who deprives the Finger-Bangers of their title and thus destroyed their false mystique, and if you wish to know why they will perish- you who exalt them so- I am the man who will now tell you.

You have heard it said that is a season of crisis in the Super-League. You have said that the coming of the corporate teams and the continued dominance of the old guard would inevitably destroy at least one side, as well as any unfortunate team caught up in the crossfire. And because of this crisis, the rest of you shrink in terror of the beast you yourselves created. You are the ones who traded with Marauder such that he could acquire the first pick in Super-Draft VIII without sacrificing a single starting position player. You are the one who allowed the Bulldogs and the Superstars and the Cultists and the Mooglies to operate as a seamless whole that could pool their resources to their own benefit. You are the ones that made foolish challenge after foolish challenge and destroyed yourselves as a result.

Yes, this is a season of crisis in the Super-League, and yes, most of your teams will perish as a result of this crisis. But, out of all this destruction, the true path will finally reveal itself. In the cold and the gloom of Antarctica, I have bided my time. Down here, it is dark for six months of the year, the sun never rising about the horizon. A night that never ends. But it does, in time, and is replaced with day that lasts just as long. The sun is rising here now, in fact. And, as the sun rises in the south, you must all ask yourselves, "blackmongoose has already taken the European Championship. Humiliated the Finger-Bangers, what is his next move?"

You need not worry, because the time will come, very, very soon, when that will be revealed. Having taken the European Championship, we now turn our gaze to the United States Championship, another title that all of you have coveted for so long. We will go into Dubai and we will take it from the Dervishes. The Bangers could not stop us, what chance do the Dervishes have? By this time next week, we will own both titles.

And for what? Neither title interests me or my city-team that much? This gaudy act of creating secondary titles offends me at a certain level. What does it mean to be a European Champion? A United States Champion? These titles are just narcotics created by the powers that be to placate the owners of lackluster teams. We take these titles not for ourselves, but to free you all from dependence on them. Because, in the end, there can be only one champion, and if I put the entire fate of my city, and my team, and my life on the line to become that singular champion, then the least you can all do is join me in such a venture.

I recently received congratulations from the Superstars LLC for my glorious triumph. They are the most misguided of all. They believe that they can weld the purity of sport onto the corruption of the corporate form and create some abomination of a hybrid. Such activities diminish the glory of sport, which is the purest of all glories. I do not thank them for their kind words, and, in fact, condemn for thinking that my successes, in any way, inure to their benefit.

The glory of the Unspecifieds will soon become clear to all of you. May your minds remain clear and eyes open so that, at the proper time, you may fully receive our glory into your life's experience.

Box Score

Don May posted:

DERVISHES SURVIVE GENERICS 5-4, LOOK TO FUTURE

Rochester- Eventually, the Dervishes are going to falter, lose their U.S. Championship, and get relegated. Those things may happen this season, they may happen ten seasons from now, but, to paraphrase slightly, in the long run, every team is dead.

In today's game, the Dervishes faced a more imminent catastrophe: losing a series to the Generics. While the loss would not have greatly impacted the Dervishes' chances of reaching the playoffs and winning the championship, the thought of losing a series to a division rival, especially one as uninspiring as the Generics, must have been deeply troubling to the Dervishes.

Down 4-3 in the top of the ninth, the Dervishes were forced come back, scoring one run each in the top of the next two innings to pull out a ten-inning win. That was not good enough for Beet, however, who was more than a little disheartened to see his team struggle to a split four-game series against the last-place team in his own division, "I have seen my team nearly lose to these Generics, and I have read the comments of blackmongoose, and I am having a difficult time deciding which infuriates me more! Regardless, I have no time to deal with the embarrassment of this series when the Unspecifieds' threat, as it where, looms large in my team's future. The time has come to put my United States title on the line against the Unspecifieds' European. I know men like blackmongoose, they believe that their sluggers will take them to the promised land, that home runs alone are all that matters. Soon I will teach them differently. With my defense and my pitching, I will grind them into a paste, and take what is rightfully mine. Enjoy your victory, blackmongoose, it shall not last."

kw0134, whose Generics are somehow still alive despite not being particularly good, explained his team's resilience by noting that, "You know, we may not be the flashiest team around, and I'm pretty sure that if we don't start getting more fans to the stadium that the bank is going to foreclose on us, but you know, you've just got to make the best of the situation. For example, there's been a crime wave sweeping Rochester lately, but I've made it work by selling security system to people who've just been burgled! Also, I've been using some of the storage rooms under the stadium as a state-of-the-art drug lab. Sure, it's not exactly legal, but when life gives you lemons, you should use them to flavor gelatin cubes spiked with LSD."

Box Score

Don May posted:

POSTMODERNISTS CONTINUE ASCENT UP STANDINGS

Polyarny- The Postmodernists should have died after their poor April. Instead, they continue to menace the Memento Mori Division, driven to prove that they are the best team in the Super-League.

At least, that's what people think is happening.

The Postmodernists' press conference today consisted of what appeared to be a slightly modernized version of a commedia dell'arte performance. Vic Willis, the winning pitcher, dressed in the manner of stock character 'Il Captiano' and pretending to be losing pitcher Tim Wakefield. "I am Tim Wakfield", he announced, intentionally slurring his words to appear inebriated, "and I am a great legend of baseballing. Why, I single-handedly kept the practice of knuckleballing alive, and was probably the most important Red Sox pitcher of my era. There are few pitchers are talented as I, and even though the dastardly Vic Willis has defeated me today, there is not doubt that it was due to trickery of some sort, for I am the great Tim Wakefield, a wholly viable Super-League starter!" This inspired the real Tim Wakefield to appear and charge the impostor, only to be beaten bloody as the rest of the Postmodernists, all dressed as Commedia dell'arte characters, emerged from the clubhouse to engage in the fracas.

This confusing scene made little sense, and reinforced the notion that the Postmodernists either had no idea what they were doing or were ten steps ahead of everyone else. Perhaps the Postmodernists were just attempting some sort of performance piece that got out of hand or, more deviously, perhaps they were laying a trap that Tim Wakefield walked right into it. Either way, there are still more questions than answers about this mysterious team and its owner, the enigmatic NotThatSamBeckett, who may or may not have disappeared from the Super-League.

Dr. Mike Marshall, once again in control of the team while Warm Sarsaparilla is dealing with the Comancheros, was unsure himself, "I don't know exactly what the Postmodernists' game is, but this is the third clown-related incident in the last two weeks. Something has got to change. We cannot keep getting beaten up by clowns, not even ones in Renaissance-era costumes."

Box Score

Numbers for Funbers!

Analysis

Okay, now do it again against the Dervishes.

Analysis

Man, Yount is having really problems at shortstop...

: I can play shortstop!
No, you can't!

: Come on, gingemidget! We don't know I can't play shortstop, right?

Analysis

I'd suggest replacing Sam McDowell but your top pitcher in your minors is LaMarr Hoyt who, in real life, suffered from an incurable case of being LaMarr Hoyt.

Analysis

I'm starting to think you might actually be cursed. There's nothing wrong with your team, exactly, you're just horribly unlucky.

Analysis

All of your starters have OBPs between .320 and .346, that's amazingly consistent, even if it isn't exactly an indicator of an elite unit.

Analysis

Mauer's knees are about to explode. Maybe Lieberthal should get a few starts.

Analysis

You need another starter until the Super-Draft. I slotted in Rijo, but you might want someone else.

Analysis

Can Harold Baines save your team? Well, given that he never really helped any team he was on accomplish much of anything ever, I'm kind of skeptical.

Analysis

Three knuckleballers in your rotation? I'm not sure this is the best idea you've ever had.

Analysis

You were supposed to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!

Analysis

Not even you gaping hole in right field is slowing down your team. Then again, I'm not sure how much longer your pitchers can keep this up.

Analysis

Okay, you need a better hitter at first base. I don't care how you do it, but it has to get done.

Analysis

Gary Carter just hates playing in Rochester. Don't know why, don't know what you can do about it, but it's pretty undeniable at this point.

Analysis

Rollin'

Analysis

I'm sorry, Senerio, but the only way I can give you respect is if you face the Finger-Bangers in Hell in a Cell.

Analysis

So, which trades are you guys making again? Remember, you need four owners to sign on.

Standings and Leaders

# ? Oct 7, 2012 03:59

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Superbas! You clearly need an upgrade at first base. You've seen what Mike Napoli is capable of, and it isn't pretty. My Mooglies recently acquired Hank Greenberg, so we no longer require the services of 2009 Travis Hafner. Before his demotion, he was one of our best hitters; he's only on the bench because he is exclusively a first baseman, and we already had Greenberg and Jeff Bagwell.

Hafner can be yours for Neftali Feliz and your second-round pick in the Super Draft; if that price isn't acceptable to you, we can negotiate another deal.

# ? Oct 7, 2012 04:12

blackmongoose: Mar 31, 2011; DARK INFERNO ROOK!

Alright, new banner!

With that out of the way, have Waner start in right instead of Oliva.

# ? Oct 7, 2012 04:36

StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

Sweet Music is going back to AAA. Chamberlain to #5 in the rotation, and Coveleski moves to the bullpen into the newly vacated long relief spot.

Lieberthal becomes personal catcher of Falkenberg.

And while I'm at it, bump whatever sliders controlling how long starting pitching stays out there one notch closer towards "Bullpen, what's a bullpen?" because those guys are getting pummeled except for Eckersley who is great and Franco who isn't trusted by the Mogul engine to see any action.

# ? Oct 7, 2012 04:37

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Analysis

Man, Yount is having really big problems at shortstop...
: I can play shortstop!
No, you can't!
: Come on, gingemidget! We don't know I can't play shortstop, right?

I'm going 0-6 next week anyway, so you'd be surprised how close to letting this happen I am.

# ? Oct 7, 2012 11:05

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Luna Landers

While DiMaggio is out, we're going to play Small Ball!

New Lineup:

CF Henderson
LF Raines
1B Gehrig
DH Ramirez
RF Aaron
SS Garciaparra
C Hartnett (Munson catches Clemens)
3B Rolen
2B Collins

Bring up Eddie Joost from the minors to be an extra warm body until DiMaggio comes back.

Stolen base slider to +5. We have Henderson and Raines, let's use them!

# ? Oct 7, 2012 12:02

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

Let me try old Bob Feller in the rotation, Rijo back to Long Relief. I think it lines up so we can give Feller the start immediately so he ends up in the 5 spot, and Schilling slides up to 3.

# ? Oct 7, 2012 18:38

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# ? May 10, 2024 08:16

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

I miss Roger Peckinpaugh. Anyway, deckchair rearranging time!

Bring up Pratt for Young Chipper, because keeping Chipper there is just reminding me that I should have taken Buddy Bell instead.

New line up:

RF Ordonez
2B Durham
1B Thomas
LF Dunn (vs RHP)/Justice (vs LHP)
CF Oliver (vs RHP)/Puckett (vs LHP)
C Burgess
3B Baker
SS Yount

As funny as it would be, I'm going to resist Dunn-as-shortstop for now. Maybe in a few weeks.

Pitching:

Switch Jenkins and Vance. Have Smoltz spot start where necessary to achieve such.

Also, I'm now considering everyone except Dunn tradeable, because if I do nothing then I'm losing 100 games, and that just isn't cricket.

Ginge fucked around with this message at 19:25 on Oct 7, 2012

# ? Oct 7, 2012 19:16

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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