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cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.


Alright. Sigh.

Rotation is now Clemens/Verlander/Summers/Mullin/Boddicker

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Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
The Ted Sox

Seeing as I don't need another injury riddled Jose Canseco, can I get the next best IF or RP whichever if ranked better for my 2nd pick.

factorialite
Mar 3, 2008

by Lowtax
I'd rather have Spahn than Richard, thanks.

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

I guess I'll put both my mid-round draft picks on the block, see if anybody's interested in moving. I don't really need anything but better luck, more depth & a fifth starter. Supply me!

Special consideration given for trades involving a Bellhorn.

mrnoun
Jul 24, 2007
This went somewhat quicker and a lot more smoothly this time around. I think I'm getting a system worked out, and I'd be glad to take over this job in the long term if it helps you, Smasher.



5-Point Teams (5 listed)

1962 SAN FRANSISCO Giants (103-62, Lost WS)
Five Reasons for Five Points: Willie Mays, Orlando Cepeda, Harvey Kuenn, Juan Marichal, Willie McCovey.

1968 Detroit Tigers (103-59, Won WS)
Five Reasons for Five Points: Al Kaline, Bill Freehan, Mickey Lolich, Denny McLain, John Hiller.

1974 Los Angeles Dodgers (102-60, Lost WS)
Five Reasons for Five Points: Don Sutton, Andy Messersmith, Tommy John, Mike Marshall, Jim Wynn.

1976 Philadelphia Phillies (101-61, Lost NLCS)
Five Reasons for Five Points: Mike Schmidt, Garry Maddox, Steve Carlton, Jim Kaat, Ron Reed.

1998 Houston Astros (102-60, Lost NLDS)
Five Reasons for Five Points: Jeff Bagwell, Craig Biggio, Randy Johnson, Billy Wagner, the Comedy Stylings of Carl Everett.



4-Point Teams (18 listed)

1902 Philadelphia Athletics (83-53, 1st in AL)
Why Four Points? Nap LaJoie, Socks Seybold, Rube Waddell, Eddie Plank.

1910 Chicago Cubs (104-50, Lost WS)
Why Four Points? Tinker-to-Evers-to-Chance, Harry Steinfeldt, Three-Finger Brown, Ed Reulbach.

1912 Pittsburgh Pirates (93-58, 2nd in NL)
Why Four Points? Honus Wagner, Scoops Carey, Chief Wilson, Claude Hendrix.

1915 Philadelphia Phillies (90-62, Lost WS)
Why Four Points? Gavvy Cravath, Fred Luderus, Pete Alexander, Eppa Rixey.

1918 Boston Red Sox (75-51, Won WS)
Why Four Points? Babe Ruth, Babe Ruth, Babe Ruth, and not being afraid of loving curses.

1923 Detroit Tigers (83-71, 2nd in AL)
Why Four Points? Ty Cobb, Harry Heilmann, Johnny Bassler, Heinie Manush.

1933 Washington Senators (99-53, Lost WS)
Why Four Points? Joe Cronin, Heinie Manush, GOOSE!!! Goslin, General Crowder.

1934 St. Louis Cardinals (95-58, Won WS)
Why Four Points? Dizzy Dean, Spud Davis, Frankie Frisch, Ducky Medwick.

1934 New York Giants (93-60, 2nd in NL)
Why Four Points? Mel Ott, Bill Terry, Carl Hubbell, Hal Schumacher.

1941 Brooklyn Dodgers (100-54, Lost WS)
Why Four Points? Dolph Camilli, Ducky Medwick, Pee Wee Reese, Whit Wyatt.

1978 Boston Red Sox (99-64, 2nd in AL East)
Why Four Points? Carlton Fisk, a healthy Fred Lynn, Dennis Eckersley, still not being afraid of curses.

1983 Baltimore Orioles (98-64, Won WS)
Why Four Points? Cal Ripken, Eddie Murray, Tippy Martinez, seeing Smasher's head explode when your rotation contains Mike Boddicker and Storm Davis.

1988 Oakland Athletics (104-58, Lost WS)
Why Four Points? Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, Dennis Eckersley, seeing Smasher's head explode when your rotation contains Bob Welch and Storm Davis.

2000 San Fransisco Giants (97-65, Lost NLDS)
Why Four Points? Barry Bonds, Barry Bonds, Barry Bonds, Dusty Baker's managerial acumen.

2003 Oakland Athletics (96-66, Lost ALDS)
Why Four Points? Miguel Tejada, Eric Chavez, Keith Foulke, Barry Zito can't be THAT bad.

2004 Atlanta Braves (96-66, Lost NLDS)
Why Four Points? Chipper Jones, J.D. Drew, John Smoltz, the "Guess Julio Franco's Age and Win Free Tickets" Contest.

2005 Houston Astros (89-73, 2nd in NL Central)
Why Four Points? Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Lance Berkman, the "Guess John Franco's Age and Win Free Tickets" Contest.

2006 Detroit Tigers (95-67, Lost WS)
Why Four Points? Magglio Ordonez, Carlos Guillen, that Verlander guy, the "Guess the Foreign Substance on Kenny Rogers' Hand and Win Free Tickets" Contest.


3-Point Teams (14 listed)
1951 St. Louis Cardinals (81-73, 3rd in NL)
Just Three Points: After Stan Musial, the other stars are old: Enos Slaughter, Max Lanier.

1953 Cleveland Indians (92-62, 2nd in AL)
Just Three Points: Al Rosen and Larry Doby are good, but the pitchers are old, especially Bob Feller.

1957 Boston Red Sox (82-72, 3rd in AL)
Just Three Points: One-point team plus Ted Williams equals three-point team.

1957 Chicago White Sox (90-64, 2nd in AL)
Just Three Points: Good players like Nellie Fox, Sherm Lollar, and Billy Pierce, but a lack of superstars.

1964 Baltimore Orioles (97-65, 3rd in AL)
Just Three Points: Brooks Robinson, Baby Boog Powell, and 37-year-old Robin Roberts, with the next generation of stars not ready yet.

1967 Chicago Cubs (87-74, 3rd in NL)
Just Three Points: Santo at his peak, Fergie just hitting his prime, and Banks not quite done.

1970 St. Louis Cardinals (76-86, 4th in NL East)
Just Three Points: Bob Gibson, Steve Carlton, Dick Allen.

1972 Houston Astros (84-69, 3rd in NL West)
Just Three Points: Lots of decent young players, and look at that outfield, but no one really in their primes.

1979 Kansas City Royals (85-77, 2nd in AL West)
Just Three Points: Brett, Porter, Quiz, and a bunch of spare parts.

1981 Montreal Expos (60-48, Lost NLCS)
Just Three Points: Carter, Raines, Dawson, and a bunch of spare parts.

1989 San Fransisco Giants (92-70, Lost WS)
Just Three Points: Oh god I hope you took a team with some pitching. :(

1993 Seattle Mariners (82-80, 4th in AL West)
Just Three Points: Are Griffey, Johnson, and Martinez worth three points? Probably.

2009 Tampa Bay Rays (84-78, 3rd in AL East)
Just Three Points: You'll have about eight disastrously failed closers available to your bullpen, and one of them's bound to work out okay!

2011 Arizona Diamondbacks (94-68, Lost NLDS)
Just Three Points: Super League Trivia: No team with an Arizona feeder has ever made the playoffs. See if you can be the first!


2-Point Teams (21 listed)
1904 St. Louis Cardinals (75-79, 5th in NL)
Two Guys Who Don't Suck: Homer Smoot and Kid Nichols are underrepresented in the Super League.

1908 Chicago White Sox (88-64, 3rd in AL)
Two Guys Who Don't Suck: You could do worse than Ed Walsh and Frank Smith, even if no one can hit.

1910 Cleveland Naps (71-81, 5th in AL)
Two Guys Who Don't Suck, One of Whom They Named the Team After: Nap LaJoie and Shoeless Joe.

1917 Washington Senators (74-79, 5th in AL)
One Guy Who Doesn't Suck, Twice as Much: Walter Johnson is worth two points on his own.

1919 Chicago Cubs (75-65, 3rd in NL)
Last Hurrah of the Deadball Era: Pete Alexander and Hippo Vaughan are worth it.

1928 Brooklyn Robins (77-65, 6th in NL)
Two Guys Who Don't Suck: Babe Herman and Dazzy Vance.

1935 Boston Red Sox (78-75, 4th in AL)
Two Guys Who Don't Sox: Joe Cronin and Lefty Grove.

1945 New York Yankees (81-71, 4th in AL)
Snuffy and the War Criminal: Stirnweiss and Milosevich.

1951 Philadelphia Phillies (73-81, 5th in NL)
Two Guys Who Don't Suck: Robin Roberts and Ritchie Ashburn.

1964 Pittsburgh Pirates (80-82)
Is Roberto Clemente Worth Two Points? No, he's not. But you also get young Stargell and a couple decent pitchers.

1967 Atlanta Braves(77-85, 7th in NL)
Hank Aaron Doesn't Suck: And Bob Uecker is a funny dude.

1972 New York Yankees (79-76, 4th in AL East)
I Intentionally Screwed Over the Yankees With Bad Feeders: But Bobby Murcer and Thurman Munson are still pretty good.

1978 Chicago Cubs (79-83, 3rd in NL East)
Dave Kingman is Their Best Hitter: Arguably worth it for Rick Reuschel and the bullpen.

1984 Cleveland Indians (75-87, 6th in AL East)
This Julio Franco is Too Young: Blyleven is this team's selling point.

1987 Los Angeles Dodgers (73-89, 4th in NL West)
Don't Confuse This Mike Marshall With the Good One: Hershiser and Valenzuela should be good in the Super League, though.

1990 Minnesota Twins (74-88, 7th in AL West)
Two Guys Who Don't Suck: Puckett and Aguilera are the prizes here.

1996 Toronto Blue Jays (74-88, 4th in AL East)
How Many Ed Spragues Does It Take to Screw Up a Super League Team? Just the one. Just the one.

1996 Colorado Rockies (83-79, 3rd in NL West)
Will This Be the Long Awaited Return of Walt Weiss to the Super League? We can only hope. Also, most of these guys couldn't hit outside of Colorado.

1997 Boston Red Sox (78-84, 4th in AL East)
Wait, Was Tim Wakefield Really Their Ace? ... :smith:

2003 Texas Rangers (71-91, 4th in AL West)
Holy poo poo A-Rod for Two Points! And eight points left to fill every other position!

2004 Baltimore Orioles (78-84, 3rd in AL East)
Is It True That "Melvin Mora" Is Romanian for "E-5"? Let's just say you may want to carry a defensive replacement there.


1-Point Teams (28 listed)
1902 "Baltimore Orioles" (50-88, 8th in AL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? "Iron Man" Joe McGinnity and "The Duke of Tralee" Roger Bresnahan.

1915 Chicago Whales (Federal League)
Why Would I Want These Losers? The first ever Federal League feeder team features Mordecai Brown, Max Flack, Art Wilson and Claude Hendrix!

1928 Boston Braves (50-103, 7th in NL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Rogers Hornsby. And no one else at all, admittedly.

1929 Philadelphia Phillies (71-82, 5th in NL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Lefty O'Doul and Chuck Klein could hit.

1930 St. Louis Browns (64-90, 6th in AL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? GOOSE!

1932 Cincinnati Reds (60-94, 8th in NL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Ernie Lombardi was pretty good.

1937 St. Louis Browns (46-108, 8th in AL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? I don't think we've had Harlond Clift in his prime in the Super League yet.

1946 New York Giants (61-93, 8th in NL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Johnny Mize could hit the gently caress out of the ball.

1950 St. Louis Browns (58-96, 7th in AL)
Don't You Get Tired of All These One-Point Browns Teams? It's not my fault they always sucked so badly. Though Ned Garver was secretly a decent pitcher.

1950 Chicago White Sox (60-94, 6th in AL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Billy Pierce and Nellie Fox, basically.

1958 Kansas City Athletics (73-81, 7th in AL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Baby Roger Maris, plus Bob Cerv's breakout year.

1962 Houston Colt .45s (64-96, 8th in NL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? A desperate cry for help.

1963 New York Mets (51-111, 10th in NL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Masochism.

1964 Los Angeles Angels(82-80, 5th in AL)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Jim Fregosi and Dean Chance.

1971 San Diego Padres (61-100, 6th in NL West)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Self-Loathing.

1976 Detroit Tigers (74-87, 5th in AL East)
Why Would I Want These Losers? A Mark Fidrych fetish.

1977 Cleveland Indians (71-90, 5th in AL East)
Why Would I Want These Losers? I hear Larry Andersen makes great trade bait.

1977 Atlanta Braves (61-101, 6th in NL West)
Why Would I Want These Losers? They DO have the right Mike Marshall. He's just old and useless.

1979 San Fransisco Giants (71-91, 4th in NL West)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Maybe you mistook Vida Blue for a good pitcher?

1982 Cincinnati Reds (61-101, 6th in NL West)
Why Would I Want These Losers? You jumped on them the moment you saw Tom Seaver's name, without bothering to check his age?

1982 Minnesota Twins (60-102, 7th in AL West)
Why Would I Want These Losers? You can never have too many Tim Teufels!

1987 San Diego Padres (65-97, 6th in NL West)
Why Would I Want These Losers? You're planning on a pay-per-view eating contest between John Kruk and Kevin Mitchell! Winner gets dibs on Dave Dravecky's arm when it falls off!

1992 Kansas City Royals(72-90, 5th in AL West)
Why Would I Want These Losers? One of these Mike Boddickers is bound to be good in the Super League, it's the law of averages!

1995 Detroit Tigers (60-84, 4th in AL East)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Eating contest, David Wells and Cecil Fielder. Winner eats Bobby Higginson's bat speed TOO LATE IT'S ALREADY GONE.

1996 Pittsburgh Pirates (73-89, 5th in NL Central)
Why Would I Want These Losers? A hypnotist -- now, stay with me on this one -- convinced you via post-hypnotic suggestion that Esteban Loaiza and Jason Schmidt were Super League caliber pitchers. Then, a serious concussion confused you and made you believe that each of them was in his prime rather than his early 20s. Finally, a sense of hubris and self-importance convinced you that somehow, a team with two pitchers as good as you believed Esteban Loaiza and Jason Schmidt to be would be a one-point Super League team. Also, Jason Kendall's an okay catcher.

1999 Kansas City Royals (64-97, 4th in AL Central)
Why Would I Want These Losers? You read the above and thought to yourself, "Heh, that can't happen to me! I've got Jeff Suppan and Jay Witasick!" Also, Carlos Beltran doesn't suck.

2004 Milwaukee Brewers (67-94, 6th in NL Central)
Why Would I Want These Losers? You're a former multi-time Super League champion looking for the challenge of building a team with the handicap of only 9 feeder points.

2010 Seattle Mariners (61-101, 4th in AL West)
Why Would I Want These Losers? Cliff Lee and Doug Fister! Proven Super League commodities!




I joked around about some of these teams, but in general, I think it's a very strong group. Last year's batch was a little bottom-heavy, with some very good 1- and 2-point teams and some 4- and 5-point teams that may not have been worth the cost. But I think this year, it's a much more balanced distribution. Every team has something to offer, even if in the case of the '63 Mets it's mostly comedy value.

mrnoun fucked around with this message at 22:53 on Oct 12, 2012

Viscount Slim
Mar 9, 2012

quote:

Why Would I Want These Losers? Eating contest, David Wells and Cecil Fielder. Winner eats Bobby Higginson's bat speed TOO LATE IT'S ALREADY GONE.

Hahahaha.



Sorry, but the role of "light-hitting middle infielder fourth down my unimpressive shortstop depth chart" is already taken by Don Money. Give me Dennis Leonard or Dave Stewart in the end of the second, I guess. That is '89 Stewart, I expect.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Smasher, before I commit to Chipper Jones in my 1st round, how's Kent doing at 3B? Might be redundant if he's doing fine defensively.

Revenant Threshold
Jan 1, 2008

mrnoun posted:

1992 Kansas City Royals(72-90, 5th in AL West)
Why Would I Want These Losers? One of these Mike Boddickers is bound to be good in the Super League, it's the law of averages!

1999 Kansas City Royals (64-97, 4th in AL Central)
Why Would I Want These Losers? You read the above and thought to yourself, "Heh, that can't happen to me! I've got Jeff Suppan and Jay Witasick!" Also, Carlos Beltran doesn't suck.
I have the '97 Royals, so there's some issue there. Not that it really matters at the one point end of things.

factorialite
Mar 3, 2008

by Lowtax
1934 giants seem like 5 points to me, but I also suck.

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
Mock Draft v4
Round 1
1. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (from Madison Mudholes) (.365) 1980 Nolan Ryan
2. Old Hoss Radbourns (.385) 1955 Ted Williams
3. Poughkeepsie Superbas (.385) 1965 Harmon Killebrew
4. Idaho Potatoes (.404) 1922 Pete Alexander
5. Great Googly-Mooglies (.412) 2001 Chipper Jones
6. St. Paul Bearers (.431) 1967 Tom Seaver
7. Lombard St. Gumshoes (.434) 1911 Eddie Plank
8. Polyarny Postmodernists (.434) 1977 George Brett
9. Rated R Superstars (.434) 1998 Derek Jeter
10. Norfolk Splinter Cells (.442) 2008 Johan Santana
11. Luna Landers (from Barrow Daydreamers) (.442) 1930 Joe Cronin
12. Rochester Generics (.442) 1960 Yogi Berra
13. Vice City Goose Eggs (.442) 1994 Pedro Martinez
14. Comancheros (.453) 2004 Cliff Lee
15. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Second City Saints) (.471) - VACATED!
16. Florida Oranges (.491) 1997 Kevin Brown
17. Cologne Emperors (.500) 1975 Fred Lynn
18. Finger Lakes Phoenixes (.500) 2004 David Ortiz
19. Oxbridge Mathematicians (.509) 2007 Joey Votto
20. Ted Sox (.510) 1975 Jim Rice
21. Cleveland Unicorns (.510) 1986 Dwight Evans
22. Antarctica Unspecifieds (.547) 1989 Dennis Eckersley
23. Juneau Juggernauts (.547) 1952 Warren Spahn
24. Burma Imperialists (.558) 1989 Rickey Henderson
25. South Bolton Eazy W's (.577) 1990 Rob Dibble
26. Dubai Dervishes (.585) 1980 J.R. Richard
27. Luna Landers (.585) 1975 Dwight Evans
28. Portland Bulldogs (.596) 1989 Bob Welch
29. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (.596) 1975 Carlton Fisk
30. Ryleh Cultists (.654) - VACATED!
31. Chicago Bobbleheads (.667) 1989 Mark McGwire
32. Rockford Losers (.692) 1972 Roberto Clemente
Round 2
33. Madison Mudholes (.365) - VACATED!
34. Old Hoss Radbourns (.385) 1983 Goose Gossage
35. Poughkeepsie Superbas (.385) 1964 Pete Rose
36. Idaho Potatoes (.404) 1980 Joe Morgan
37. Luna Landers (from Great Googly-Mooglies) (.412) 2003 Bret Boone
38. St. Paul Bearers (.431) 1919 Lefty Williams
39. Burma Imperialists (from Lombard St. Gumshoes) (.434) 1975 Luis Tiant
40. Polyarny Postmodernists (.434) 1973 Thurman Munson
41. Rated R Superstars (.434) 1978 Tug McGraw
42. Norfolk Splinter Cells (.442) 1934 Waite Hoyt
43. Barrow Daydreamers (.442) 2007 Adam Dunn
44. Rochester Generics (.442) 1972 Dock Ellis
45. Vice City Goose Eggs (.442) 1989 Rick Honeycutt
46. Comancheros (.453) 2003 Edgar Martinez
47. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Second City Saints) (.471) - VACATED!
48. Florida Oranges (.491) 1931 Tommy Bridges
49. Cologne Emperors (.500) 1972 Willie Stargell
50. Finger Lakes Phoenixes (.500) 1921 Max Carey
51. Oxbridge Mathematicians (.509) 2001 Rafael Furcal
52. Ted Sox (.510) 1972 Bob Johnson
53. Cleveland Unicorns (.510) 1980 Cesar Cedeno
54. Antarctica Unspecifieds (.547) 1949 Harry Brecheen
55. Old Hoss Radbourns (from Juneau Juggernauts) (.385) 2009 Rafael Betancourt 
56. Burma Imperialists (.558) 1977 Dennis Leonard
57. South Bolton Eazy W's (.577) 1980 Jose Cruz
58. Dubai Dervishes (.585) - VACATED!
59. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Luna Landers) (.585) 2009 Grady Sizemore
60. Portland Bulldogs (.596) 1993 Ellis Burks
61. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (.596) 1996 Jason Giambi
62. Ryleh Cultists (.654) - VACATED!
63. Chicago Bobbleheads (.667) 1984 Craig Lefferts
64. Rockford Losers (.692) 1972 Steve Blass

Viscount Slim
I have that Dave Stewart listed as 1977, not 1989.

cbx fucked around with this message at 00:51 on Oct 13, 2012

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."


: Dunn Force! Episode 5: The Pitched That Killed, Part One! So, up in Richie Sexson's evil fortress, Sexson is looking at a tape of Dunn beating Dante Bichette last episode. The Three True Outcomes are there too. Sexson is angry that Dunn was able to beat him so easily. Eddie Yost suggests that maybe they could turn Dunn's ability to take bad pitches into a liability. Sexson asks how, and Yost says to leave it to him. Meanwhile, Adam Dunn and Cyber-Dunn are working at the youth center, teaching a multiethnic band of children the most important part of baseball: taking pitches. Dunn asks Cyber-Dunn if, because Cyber-Dunn is from the future, that he knows what Sexson's next plot will be. Cyber-Dunn says that since he came to the past, he changed the future, so that's not going to work. Dunn asks how that could work since Cyber-Dunn continues to exist, and if they had changed the future, then Cyber-Dunn would not had come back in time to change the future. Cyber-Dunn explains that that wouldn't really solve the problem either, because if he did never come back to the present, then the original future where he did come back from the past would be re-instated, and so he would exist. All of the children are very confused by this, and then the Dunn Alarm goes off, alerting Dunn and Cyber-Dunn that Richie Sexson has released a new enemy to take over the world...or beat Adam Dunn...or both. Anyway, Dunn and Cyber-Dunn track down their new enemy and it turns out to be...Carl Mays, resurrected from the dead to serve the evil Richie Sexson! Adam Dunn says that he doesn't know who 'Carl' Mays is, but he's faced Joe Mays before, and he was awful. And that's when Carl Mays starts firing his trademark underarm spitballs towards Dunn. Remembering last week, Dunn waits for his opportunity, but then one of Mays' fastballs sneaks up on him and hits him square in the head! And then Dunn collapses to the ground, stone-cold dead! TO BE CONTINUED!

Super-League VII, Dynamo League Week 10: On Whales and their Mating Habits

Games of the Week

Don May posted:


BULLDOGS MAUL RADBOURNS 9-4

Raleigh- Once again, it looks live evil is going to carry the day.

In fairness, this wasn't not exactly the greatest victory in the history of the Bulldogs. The Radbourns are not actually a good team, as they lack even the semblance of a rotation, instead relying on the likes of Tim Wakefield and Wilbur Wood to start games for them. To the surprise of no one, this knuckler-heavy strategy has not worked out well for them.

In today's game, the Bulldogs roughed up Wood for eight runs in just 3.2 innings of work, effectively ending the game before the fifth inning. It was an uncompetitive game to see the least, and TKBomber7285, the Bulldogs' owner, showed little remorse, "The Radbourns are pathetic. In a normal season, a team like that would have lost 110 games in the Expansion Cup and been drummed out of the league before the regular season started. Granted, I do enjoy beating them up every few weeks for some cheap wins, but they really, really suck. Call me a cheater if you want, but at least my team isn't a complete loving disaster. I did what I had to so that my team could be a winner. You all would have done the same thing if you were smart enough to figure it out.

"And my advice for you who don't like what I did, or the fact that my bunch of cheaters are going to knock your team out of the playoffs is this: Deal with it."

Dr. Mike Marshall, whose Radbourns always seem to find new and exciting ways to screw up, tried to explain what had happened, "As you all know, I'm something of a pitching guru, so I've been trying to wean our knuckleball pitchers off of the knuckleball so that I could teach them the eleven breaking balls that the Marshall Pitching System offers instead. And it was going great right up until I found out that none of Wood or Wilhelm of Wakefield had a fastball that went above 75 mph. It was a real problem. So I decided that it would be in the best interests of everyone if I just decided to give up and start drinking. That hasn't really done a lot to make our pitching better, I'll admit, but it's really helping me get through the day."

Box Score





Don May posted:


POSTMODERNISTS RETAIN INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE WITH 3-0 WIN

Florida City- So close.

The Oranges won the first two games of this three-game series, but could not complete the sweep, and thereby win their third Intercontinental Championship, instead losing to the Postmodernists 3-0, as their team was stymied by a strong start by the legendary Noodles the Pitcher.

A frustrated oldskool made no secret about his feelings, "This whole season is just going wrong. We need to win the division to get into the playoffs, but the Losers are way ahead of us, and, even though we're only ten weeks in, it feels like we're running out of time. And I can see that the Postmodernists are about to sneak in here from the back....I think that's Joe Kelley dressed up as...is he supposed to be a robot? And...a guy dressed as former German Chancellor Helmut Schmidt? This is going to some quasi-dadaist bullshit that doesn't make any sense whatsoever, isn't it? I don't understand postmodernism, I don't like postmodernism, I don't get it, and it makes me angry just thinking about it. Why would Helmut Schmidt be hanging around with a robot? Is it because he's German? I don't know! And you know what, I don't think the Postmodernists really know either! I think that they just want us to think they're deep so that when you don't understand what they're doing, they can just say 'you don't get it'. But I get it man...I get it...." oldskool then nodded for a time, as if such an act would make the last part of his speech make more sense.

It did not.

Box Score





Don May posted:


DAYDREAMERS EDGE SUPERBAS 5-4

Poughkeepsie- Nothing good ever happens in Poughkeepsie.

The Superbas held a 4-3 lead in the top of the ninth, and so they put the game in the hands of their closer. Unfortunately for them, that closer's name was Rollie Fingers, and the resulting blown save was both predictable and inevitable. The Superbas, once more demoralized, were unable to tie the game in the bottom of the inning, and suffered yet another loss.

And, with the Superbas so tied into the heart of Poughkeepsie, the Superbas' loss became, in a very real way, Poughkeepsie's loss, as the entire town appeared to be in the grips of depression after the game. Poughkeepsie mayor Phineas T. Johnston spoke for his community, "I don't mind saying that this is the darkest day in Poughkeepsie history since they closed down the old whale oil refinery. I'll never forgive those drat whales for that...if only they had bred more, they wouldn't have been driven to near-extinction and we could have continued whaling them forever. But no! Those cursed whales were prudish to the last! drat them and their near-celibacy! They have doomed this entire town!" Johnston then took a few moments to compose himself.

"Ah, yes, today's loss. Tragic, really. Fingers let us down today, the whale-hearted bastard! But we'll try and keep on going because I know that someday...somehow...the whales will repopulate their species...and then we'll once more take up the harpoons and save this town. Oh, right, the Superbas? Yeah, that's not going to work."

Gingemidget who, ironically enough, is rather swarthy and nearly two meters tall, had concerns of his own, "While I'm happy about today's victory, I'm somewhat concerned that my team has lost focus. For example, Adam Dunn has been spending most of his time working on Dunn Force, and I'm not exactly sure what happened to Smoky Burgess. Either way, it's a real problem that I'm not quite sure how to solve. I'm sorry, that was unfair of me to put my problems on your shoulders. I'm sure the Daydreamers will persevere."

Box Score





Spreadsheets for Cool Dudes!








Analysis

The pitching is working out, but the hitting really isn't. Although, to be fair, part of that is because the conditions of Antarctica don't exactly lend themselves to good hitting.









Analysis

I'd put Jenkins at #4 starter over Matlack.









Analysis

Your choices to replace Renteria at shortstop are Robin Yount, and a mysterious masked newcomer named Yobin Rount.









Analysis

No, but seriously, how are the Unicorns this cosmically unlucky? You guys should be leading your division!









Analysis

You have an 8.5 game lead and your division rivals are essentially inert. If you can't win this division, you deserve to get relegated.









Analysis

Can the Oranges come back against the Losers? I kind of hope not, but I suppose they have time.









Analysis

The Bangers started off in the DH League and probably ought to go back there.









Analysis

I wish I had some great advice for how to turn your team around, but I'm not sure that I do.









Analysis

Calamity!









Analysis

The Postmodernists haven't been bad since the first month, and their division is winnable. Then again, I always thought the Postmodernists' performance in the Expansion Cup was a bit of a fluke.









Analysis

Don't question it, just accept it.









Analysis

The draft cannot come soon enough for the Superbas.









Analysis

Tony Gwynn is over .400!









Analysis

Not a great week, but if you win next week's series against the Oranges, it won't really matter.









Analysis

If you're CM Punk, does that make the Bulldogs your Ryback?









Analysis

El Presidente deserves to be impeached for that start.


Standings, Leaders and the Great Beyond




blakelmenakle
Sep 1, 2007
AHEM! There's sand on my boots!


Updated Draft Preference!

1st Pick: CF
2nd Pick: BPA (IF or RP)

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
Mock Draft v5
Round 1
1. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (from Madison Mudholes) (.365) 1980 Nolan Ryan
2. Old Hoss Radbourns (.385) 1955 Ted Williams
3. Poughkeepsie Superbas (.385) 1965 Harmon Killebrew
4. Idaho Potatoes (.404) 1922 Pete Alexander
5. Great Googly-Mooglies (.412) 2001 Chipper Jones
6. St. Paul Bearers (.431) 1967 Tom Seaver
7. Lombard St. Gumshoes (.434) 1911 Eddie Plank
8. Polyarny Postmodernists (.434) 1977 George Brett
9. Rated R Superstars (.434) 1998 Derek Jeter
10. Norfolk Splinter Cells (.442) 2008 Johan Santana
11. Luna Landers (from Barrow Daydreamers) (.442) 1930 Joe Cronin
12. Rochester Generics (.442) 1960 Yogi Berra
13. Vice City Goose Eggs (.442) 1994 Pedro Martinez
14. Comancheros (.453) 2004 Cliff Lee
15. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Second City Saints) (.471) - VACATED!
16. Florida Oranges (.491) 1997 Kevin Brown
17. Cologne Emperors (.500) 1975 Fred Lynn
18. Finger Lakes Phoenixes (.500) 2004 David Ortiz
19. Oxbridge Mathematicians (.509) 2007 Joey Votto
20. Ted Sox (.510) 1975 Jim Rice
21. Cleveland Unicorns (.510) 1986 Dwight Evans
22. Antarctica Unspecifieds (.547) 1989 Dennis Eckersley
23. Juneau Juggernauts (.547) 1952 Warren Spahn
24. Burma Imperialists (.558) 1989 Rickey Henderson
25. South Bolton Eazy W's (.577) 1990 Rob Dibble
26. Dubai Dervishes (.585) 1980 J.R. Richard
27. Luna Landers (.585) 1975 Dwight Evans
28. Portland Bulldogs (.596) 1989 Bob Welch
29. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (.596) 1975 Carlton Fisk
30. Ryleh Cultists (.654) - VACATED!
31. Chicago Bobbleheads (.667) 2007 Josh Hamilton
32. Rockford Losers (.692) 1989 Mark McGwire
Round 2
33. Madison Mudholes (.365) - VACATED!
34. Old Hoss Radbourns (.385) 1983 Goose Gossage
35. Poughkeepsie Superbas (.385) 1964 Pete Rose
36. Idaho Potatoes (.404) 1972 Roberto Clemente
37. Luna Landers (from Great Googly-Mooglies) (.412) 1980 Joe Morgan
38. St. Paul Bearers (.431) 1919 Lefty Williams
39. Burma Imperialists (from Lombard St. Gumshoes) (.434) 1975 Luis Tiant
40. Polyarny Postmodernists (.434) 1973 Thurman Munson
41. Rated R Superstars (.434) 1978 Tug McGraw
42. Norfolk Splinter Cells (.442) 1934 Waite Hoyt
43. Barrow Daydreamers (.442) 2007 Adam Dunn
44. Rochester Generics (.442) 1975 Luis Tiant
45. Vice City Goose Eggs (.442) 1989 Rick Honeycutt
46. Comancheros (.453) 2003 Edgar Martinez
47. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Second City Saints) (.471) - VACATED!
48. Florida Oranges (.491) 1972 Dock Ellis
49. Cologne Emperors (.500) 1972 Willie Stargell
50. Finger Lakes Phoenixes (.500) 1921 Max Carey
51. Oxbridge Mathematicians (.509) 2001 Rafael Furcal
52. Ted Sox (.510) 1972 Bob Johnson
53. Cleveland Unicorns (.510) 1980 Cesar Cedeno
54. Antarctica Unspecifieds (.547) 1931 Tommy Bridges
55. Old Hoss Radbourns (from Juneau Juggernauts) (.385) 2009 Rafael Betancourt 
56. Burma Imperialists (.558) 1977 Dennis Leonard
57. South Bolton Eazy W's (.577) 1980 Jose Cruz
58. Dubai Dervishes (.585) - VACATED!
59. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Luna Landers) (.585) 2009 Grady Sizemore
60. Portland Bulldogs (.596) 1993 Ellis Burks
61. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (.596) 1996 Jason Giambi
62. Ryleh Cultists (.654) - VACATED!
63. Chicago Bobbleheads (.667) 1984 Craig Lefferts
64. Rockford Losers (.692) 1949 Harry Brecheen

The Goog
Aug 6, 2007

It's a Goog Day, yes it is!
The Rated R Superstars will put Adam Wainwright back into the rotation in David Cone's place, put Cone on the DL, and call up Brandon League to fill his spot on the roster. For lack of a better option, League should move to long relief.

mrnoun
Jul 24, 2007
Luna Landers

I guess I should put Dimaggio back in the lineup?


Lineup:

LF Henderson
2B Collins
1B Gehrig
CF DiMaggio
DH Ramirez
RF Aaron
C Hartnett (Munson for Clemens)
SS Garciaparra
3B Rolen

Let Nellie Fox go to the minors, so he'll get playing time.


As for the injured Nathan, that's why we keep Scott Williamson around. Williamson in Nathan's spot for a couple weeks.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

I have appointed cbx/The Goog as co-runners of the next Expansion Cup. Together, I'm sure they'll do a good job, and if not, well, it's the Expansion Cup, it barely even counts anyway.

More importantly, though, I have decided that, to make sure cbx and The Goog have enough time to do the Expansion Cup (which, given cbx's job, is probably going to partially depend on how the Tigers do in the ALCS, though I think we're all pulling for them), that the next Expansion Period will open Monday.

In addition, I'll make a new signup thread when that happens, so sign up there. The new thread will only be open long enough to organize the new Expansion class, though. Once the teams and rosters are set, we'll run the actual Expansion Class in this thread.

And finally, I have decided that the prizes for this season's Expansion Cup will be one player of your choice from the 19th century, with the winner getting first choice and runner-up second choice. Lots of interesting players out there. You could pick King Kelly, who can play any position, you could pick Cap Anson, the first man to get 3000 hits, or pitchers such as Old Hoss Radbourn, Silver King, Amos Rusie, John Clarkson or even Candy Cummings, the man credited with inventing the curveball (though he didn't really).

Super-League VIII: The Quest For War! Coming Soon!

Beet
Aug 24, 2003


In light of the recent move away from receiving Warren Spahn in favor of JR Richard, the Dervishes are going put 1975 Carlton Fisk in front of their previous preferences, to be taken with the 26th pick.

Ginge
Sep 8, 2011

Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

Smasher Dynamo posted:

I'd put Jenkins at #4 starter over Matlack.

Have this happen. Also, have McGriff spell Thomas for the week.

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."


: Okay, let's..

: I. LOOK. GOOD.

: :gonk:

: Ey, chico, it musta been one of these wacky alien drugs, but I woke up this mornin', an' I grew lots and lots of hair. Man, I gotta go back an' get those drugs. I could make mucho dinero sellin' that on the black market cuz there ain't no way the FDA would approve somethin' that came from the deepest parts of the galaxy.

: Whatever.

: I suppose we should do this baseball thing too. I prefer making lots of money but I guess we should continue. Good job decidin' on Pedro Martinez but we still need offense, mang. Here's our updated preferences or somethin'

1st round: 1994 Pedro Martinez or best hitter available
2nd round: 1972 Willie Stargell or best reliever available

: Or we could just move the picks if an offer is good enough. I got no problem with either choice really. We're gonna have t' improve somehow with da Dubbyas, da Bubbleheads, an' the Landers upcomin'. We can do dis, let's make a move up the standings.

Armitage fucked around with this message at 14:54 on Oct 13, 2012

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
I can't do the and/or preferences in the mock draft, Armitage. You either need to decide on Pedro or BPA as your first pick, and then go from there.

Mock Draft v6
Round 1
1. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (from Madison Mudholes) (.365) 1980 Nolan Ryan
2. Old Hoss Radbourns (.385) 1955 Ted Williams
3. Poughkeepsie Superbas (.385) 1965 Harmon Killebrew
4. Idaho Potatoes (.404) 1922 Pete Alexander
5. Great Googly-Mooglies (.412) 2001 Chipper Jones
6. St. Paul Bearers (.431) 1967 Tom Seaver
7. Lombard St. Gumshoes (.434) 1911 Eddie Plank
8. Polyarny Postmodernists (.434) 1977 George Brett
9. Rated R Superstars (.434) 1998 Derek Jeter
10. Norfolk Splinter Cells (.442) 2008 Johan Santana
11. Luna Landers (from Barrow Daydreamers) (.442) 1930 Joe Cronin
12. Rochester Generics (.442) 1960 Yogi Berra
13. Vice City Goose Eggs (.442) 1994 Pedro Martinez
14. Comancheros (.453) 2004 Cliff Lee
15. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Second City Saints) (.471) - VACATED!
16. Florida Oranges (.491) 1997 Kevin Brown
17. Cologne Emperors (.500) 1975 Fred Lynn
18. Finger Lakes Phoenixes (.500) 2004 David Ortiz
19. Oxbridge Mathematicians (.509) 2007 Joey Votto
20. Ted Sox (.510) 1975 Jim Rice
21. Cleveland Unicorns (.510) 1986 Dwight Evans
22. Antarctica Unspecifieds (.547) 1989 Dennis Eckersley
23. Juneau Juggernauts (.547) 1952 Warren Spahn
24. Burma Imperialists (.558) 1989 Rickey Henderson
25. South Bolton Eazy W's (.577) 1990 Rob Dibble
26. Dubai Dervishes (.585) 1975 Carlton Fisk
27. Luna Landers (.585) 1975 Dwight Evans
28. Portland Bulldogs (.596) 1989 Bob Welch
29. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (.596) 1973 Thurman Munson
30. Ryleh Cultists (.654) - VACATED!
31. Chicago Bobbleheads (.667) 2007 Josh Hamilton
32. Rockford Losers (.692) 1964 Pete Rose
Round 2
33. Madison Mudholes (.365) - VACATED!
34. Old Hoss Radbourns (.385) 1983 Goose Gossage
35. Poughkeepsie Superbas (.385) 1989 Mark McGwire
36. Idaho Potatoes (.404) 1972 Roberto Clemente
37. Luna Landers (from Great Googly-Mooglies) (.412) 1980 Joe Morgan
38. St. Paul Bearers (.431) 1980 JR Richard
39. Burma Imperialists (from Lombard St. Gumshoes) (.434) 1919 Lefty Williams
40. Polyarny Postmodernists (.434) 1977 Darrell Porter
41. Rated R Superstars (.434) 1978 Tug McGraw
42. Norfolk Splinter Cells (.442) 1934 Waite Hoyt
43. Barrow Daydreamers (.442) 2007 Adam Dunn
44. Rochester Generics (.442) 1975 Luis Tiant
45. Vice City Goose Eggs (.442) 1972 Willie Stargell
46. Comancheros (.453) 2003 Edgar Martinez
47. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Second City Saints) (.471) - VACATED!
48. Florida Oranges (.491) 1972 Dock Ellis
49. Cologne Emperors (.500) 1993 Ellis Burks
50. Finger Lakes Phoenixes (.500) 1921 Max Carey
51. Oxbridge Mathematicians (.509) 2001 Rafael Furcal
52. Ted Sox (.510) 1972 Bob Johnson
53. Cleveland Unicorns (.510) 1980 Cesar Cedeno
54. Antarctica Unspecifieds (.547) 1931 Tommy Bridges
55. Old Hoss Radbourns (from Juneau Juggernauts) (.385) 2009 Rafael Betancourt 
56. Burma Imperialists (.558) 1977 Dennis Leonard
57. South Bolton Eazy W's (.577) 1980 Jose Cruz
58. Dubai Dervishes (.585) - VACATED!
59. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Luna Landers) (.585) 2009 Grady Sizemore
60. Portland Bulldogs (.596) 1993 Ellis Burks
61. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (.596) 1996 Jason Giambi
62. Ryleh Cultists (.654) - VACATED!
63. Chicago Bobbleheads (.667) 1984 Craig Lefferts
64. Rockford Losers (.692) 1949 Harry Brecheen

cbx fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Oct 13, 2012

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Slight tweak to the Losers preferences now that I see how things have shaken out
Round 1: Rose, Gossage, or BPA
Round 2: BPA

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
Draft edited.

Pete Ladd
Mar 9, 2012


Smasher, DL Dickey and start Darrell Porter, but Nap Lajoie back in at 2B, and rest Bonds with Sam Crawford.

cbx, I already have a Darrell Porter, I'll take Schoolboy Hoyt instead.

Archie Goodwin
Jan 2, 2012
Using intelligence guided by experience since 1934.
I am fine with my one pick.



Never despair. This won't be a second Greenbrier. right?

Let's try to rest Tanana's arm, Mel Harder in the rotation for Frank Tanana. Probably just for the one start, then I can replace him with Eddie Plank.

Warm Sarsaparilla
Jan 3, 2012



Slide Roy Face into the rotation to take injured Hoyt Wilhelm's start, bring Jeff Montgomery off the DL and into short relief, Dr. Mike Marshall can put on a clinic in long relief - I guess Wilhelm can sit in the minors for a week.



Stick whichever of Tiant or Gibby has a better FIP or DICE or whatever Mogul uses into the rotation for injured Hershiser. Let's hope the D can keep 'em competitive.

Viscount Slim
Mar 9, 2012


I don't like seeing [sore] on the rosters. Can we platoon Victor Martinez at first and Mays in left for the week? That should give McCovey and Al Simmons two days off, given the schedule.



I got swept by the loving Radbourns. Arghghgh.

Yobin Rount you say?!? Yeah, I think Polanco gets a chance at short. DL Renteria and call up...Don Diego de la Money! Who should never pinch-hit ever, and is only there in case Eddies Collins or Mathews burst into flame in the middle of a game.

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Not happy with losing Pedro, very happy with gaining LSDock Ellis.

New rotation:
Martinez
Santana
Chamberlain
Falkenberg
Coveleski

Mordecai Brown to long relief.

mrnoun
Jul 24, 2007
If 1980 J.R. Richard is available at #27, the Landers will happily grab him. We have good neurologists on the moon, and we could use one more insurance arm to keep Bronson Arroyo off the mound in case of injury.

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
Mock Draft v7
Round 1
1. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (from Madison Mudholes) (.365) 1980 Nolan Ryan
2. Old Hoss Radbourns (.385) 1955 Ted Williams
3. Poughkeepsie Superbas (.385) 1965 Harmon Killebrew
4. Idaho Potatoes (.404) 1922 Pete Alexander
5. Great Googly-Mooglies (.412) 2001 Chipper Jones
6. St. Paul Bearers (.431) 1967 Tom Seaver
7. Lombard St. Gumshoes (.434) 1911 Eddie Plank
8. Polyarny Postmodernists (.434) 1977 George Brett
9. Rated R Superstars (.434) 1998 Derek Jeter
10. Norfolk Splinter Cells (.442) 2008 Johan Santana
11. Luna Landers (from Barrow Daydreamers) (.442) 1930 Joe Cronin
12. Rochester Generics (.442) 1960 Yogi Berra
13. Vice City Goose Eggs (.442) 1994 Pedro Martinez
14. Comancheros (.453) 2004 Cliff Lee
15. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Second City Saints) (.471) - VACATED!
16. Florida Oranges (.491) 1997 Kevin Brown
17. Cologne Emperors (.500) 1975 Fred Lynn
18. Finger Lakes Phoenixes (.500) 2004 David Ortiz
19. Oxbridge Mathematicians (.509) 2007 Joey Votto
20. Ted Sox (.510) 1975 Jim Rice
21. Cleveland Unicorns (.510) 1986 Dwight Evans
22. Antarctica Unspecifieds (.547) 1989 Dennis Eckersley
23. Juneau Juggernauts (.547) 1952 Warren Spahn
24. Burma Imperialists (.558) 1989 Rickey Henderson
25. South Bolton Eazy W's (.577) 1990 Rob Dibble
26. Dubai Dervishes (.585) 1975 Carlton Fisk
27. Luna Landers (.585) 1980 J.R. Richard
28. Portland Bulldogs (.596) 1975 Dwight Evans
29. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (.596) 1973 Thurman Munson
30. Ryleh Cultists (.654) - VACATED!
31. Chicago Bobbleheads (.667) 2007 Josh Hamilton
32. Rockford Losers (.692) 1964 Pete Rose
Round 2
33. Madison Mudholes (.365) - VACATED!
34. Old Hoss Radbourns (.385) 1983 Goose Gossage
35. Poughkeepsie Superbas (.385) 1989 Mark McGwire
36. Idaho Potatoes (.404) 1972 Roberto Clemente
37. Luna Landers (from Great Googly-Mooglies) (.412) 1980 Joe Morgan
38. St. Paul Bearers (.431) 1989 Bob Welch
39. Burma Imperialists (from Lombard St. Gumshoes) (.434) 1919 Lefty Williams
40. Polyarny Postmodernists (.434) 1934 Waite Hoyt
41. Rated R Superstars (.434) 1978 Tug McGraw
42. Norfolk Splinter Cells (.442) 1972 Willie Stargell
43. Barrow Daydreamers (.442) 2007 Adam Dunn
44. Rochester Generics (.442) 1975 Luis Tiant
45. Vice City Goose Eggs (.442) 1972 Bob Johnson (Best RP was Rick Honeycutt, whom you previously veto'd)
46. Comancheros (.453) 2003 Edgar Martinez
47. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Second City Saints) (.471) - VACATED!
48. Florida Oranges (.491) 1972 Dock Ellis
49. Cologne Emperors (.500) 1993 Ellis Burks
50. Finger Lakes Phoenixes (.500) 1921 Max Carey
51. Oxbridge Mathematicians (.509) 2001 Rafael Furcal
52. Ted Sox (.510) 1989 Rick Honeycutt
53. Cleveland Unicorns (.510) 1980 Cesar Cedeno
54. Antarctica Unspecifieds (.547) 1931 Tommy Bridges
55. Old Hoss Radbourns (from Juneau Juggernauts) (.385) 2009 Rafael Betancourt  
56. Burma Imperialists (.558) 1977 Dennis Leonard
57. South Bolton Eazy W's (.577) 1980 Jose Cruz
58. Dubai Dervishes (.585) - VACATED!
59. Great Googly-Mooglies (from Luna Landers) (.585) 2009 Grady Sizemore
60. Portland Bulldogs (.596) 1993 Ellis Burks
61. Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (.596) 1996 Jason Giambi
62. Ryleh Cultists (.654) - VACATED!
63. Chicago Bobbleheads (.667) 1984 Craig Lefferts
64. Rockford Losers (.692) 1949 Harry Brecheen

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Dynamo League Week 11 Injury Report

We have a new European and United States Champion!

Barrow Daydreamers
John Matlack (SP) (Yes, I can see the future) - 8 days

Rochester Generics
Barry Bonds (LF) (Welcome to Rochester, the City that Hurts) - 54 days

Rockford Losers
Oscar Charleston (CF) (Is still not injured!)

Second City Saints
Jose Vidro (2B) (Rybacked) - 47 days


All-Star Voting!

Instant Runoff! First to three votes!

DL - CF
[ ] Jim Edmonds (BUR)
[ ] Oscar Charleston (ROC)

SL - 2B
[ ] Rogers Hornsby (COM)
[ ] Lou Whitaker (SLA)

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
Charleston

Hornsby

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Charleston & Hornsby

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
Edmonds

Whitaker

Beet
Aug 24, 2003
Edmonds

Hornsby

TKBomber7285
Feb 20, 2011
Edmonds

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."


: Last time, on Dunn Force: Richie Sexson sent out Carl Mays to kill Adam Dunn with a pitch. And Mays did exactly that. Bummer. Dunn Force, Episode Six: The Pitch That Killed, Part Two Okay, so Adam Dunn is dead, and he heads to baseball purgatory where he is confronted with the ghost of Ray Chapman. See, Chapman is the guy that Mays killed in the first place, and his spirit will never be at rest until he finally has his vengeance, and that only Dunn can do that by defeating Carl Mays. Adam Dunn, having just had his brains scrambled by Mays, isn't so sure that he's going to be able to defeat Carl Mays, especially since his on-base training prevents him from doing anything that would stop him from getting on-base, like avoiding hit-by-pitches. Chapman points out that it was that fidelity to sabermetric principles that got Dunn killed in the first place. Meanwhile, back on Earth, Cyber-Dunn is pretty bummed, since he just saw his past self get killed by Carl Mays. Cyber-Dunn tries to fight Carl Mays, but Mays just retreats, since he killed Adam Dunn already. Back in his lair, Richie Sexson is pleased, and begins preparations to conquer the planet. Up in purgatory, Ray Chapman says he's willing to give Dunn the training that he'll need to defeat Mays if Dunn is willing to trust him. Dunn says he might as well. Then Chapman introduces the first lesson: swinging at the first pitch! And Dunn is horrified! To be continued!


Super-League VII, Smasher League Week 10: There's Always a Plan B


Games of the Week


Don May posted:


BOBBLEHEADS WIN 7TH STRAIGHT, CORRAL COMANCHEROS 9-2

Coahuila- This sounds incredible, but I promise you it's true: The Comancheros, just last season, actually finished with a better record than the Bobbleheads.

But then the Bobbleheads beat the Comancheros in the wildcard playoff, and have never looked back, winning the Super-League VI Championship and currently holding the best record in the Super-League. The Comancheros, meanwhile, have found it difficult to rebound from that loss and, with today's loss, have now lost nine straight games.

All told, it's just been a miserable time for Warm Sarsaparilla who has seen his great offense sputter this season as his team has fallen into the Skyhawks Memorial Division cellar, "These loving squarehead cocksuckers are ruining this whole god-dam enterprise. All I ever wanted was a loving team that could pretend to be halfway decent for little loving while and, instead, all I get are these loving cocksuckers that seem to have forgotten just how the gently caress a baseball bat is supposed to operate! I swear that the next time we get loving outhit by a team that has two players batting under the god-damned Mendoza line that I am going blow one of these cocksuckers brains out!"

As for Mark Grace, he no longer really gave a poo poo, "Well, first of all, let me congratulate blaklemenakel on getting appointed manager, he somehow lucked into a championship last season, and a man with that much dumb luck deserves to be in charge of something like the all-star game. More importantly, though, I'm trying to figure out exactly how you can make the best kind of chili. You see, the Comancheros inspired me to try and come up with a perfect a chili recipe, what with being Southwestern and all, and I'm thinking about it. Now, I've heard from people who say that beans have no place in chili, but to me, that's just crazy, beans supply an important texture to the chili that I don't want to lose. And then, of course, you've got a lot of debate about what sort of tomato to put in. Can you use canned? Or do you have to go fresh? And, of course, the reason that I have so much time to perfecting my chili recipe is because there's not a lot else I have to do. I mean, we are 41-17, that's about a good a start as anyone has ever had. And we've done that with Greenberg and Jones being terrible offensively and Verlander being a complete disaster. Assuming that they manage to hit over .200 for the year, we're going to cruise to a division championship and, more importantly, I'm going to find the perfect mix of peppers to use to make great chili."

Box Score





Don May posted:


PHOENIXES ESCAPE CELLS WITH 7-6 WIN

Norfolk- It wasn't a pretty win, but it was a win nonetheless.

The Cells certainly made it exciting, though. The Phoenixes held a 7-3 lead going into the bottom of the ninth when the Cells mounted one last rally. Boggs led off with a single, followed by a Mantle walk and a Cabrera single, scoring one run. Now the Cells had two men on and no outs in a 7-4 game. Marauder then went out to the mound to try and calm reliever Embree out and give Rollie Fingers a bit more time to warm up.

The talk did little good as Embree gave up an RBI single to Piazza and then hit John Olerud with a pitch to load the bases, still with not outs. A frustrated Marauder then called for Fingers, despite his closer's history of blowing such tight games. Today, though, Fingers was brilliant, striking out Guillen for the first out, getting Suzuki to ground out for the second, although that did allow a run to score to pull the Cells within one, and then inducing one more groundout from Whitaker to get the third out and end the game.

Recently declassified documents from the Cells indicate that this result did inspire cbx to address his team, "Listen up, guys, we can't afford to [redacted]. It's a real issue at this point. I know that after the [redacted] tanking [redacted] that we would have some difficulty adjusting. Also, I know that some members of the team are still [redacted]. But, the Bengals are gone, and no matter what happens, that's going to remain the case. You all have to accept what has happened or else I'll [redacted] and believe me when I tell you that no one's going to be paying a lot of money for your kidneys after I'm done with that!"

Box Score





Don May posted:


EVIL BEATS HOPELESS 7-2

Miami- In a battle of two teams who are almost certain to feel the sharp sting of the Gauntlet following this season, the villainous Potatoes were able to defeat the Goose Eggs in the harsh heat of Southern Florida.

The game turned on a five-run fifth inning that gave the Potatoes a lead they would never relinquish, mainly because the Goose Eggs offense isn't particularly good at hitting. That gave a much needed win to the Idaho club, who are now only seventeen games back of the Bobbleheads in the Senor Goodtimes Division.

The Potatoes were asked for comments after the game, but a team spokesman claimed they were too busy as, "The team has hired a professional pick-up artist in order to train the members of the team in the best and most effective ways to pick-up women. As a result, the Potatoes are far too busy learning his secrets so that they may improve their 'game'. Sorry for any inconvenience this has caused."

The Goose Eggs also declined comment, though that was because team owner Armitage, having bet heavily on his team to win the game, was now on the run from Armando, who is evidently a highly-armed Cuban bookie who is known for his habit of cutting off the ring fingers of his debtors. As of press time, Armitage was last seen speeding to the airport in hopes of escaping Armando.

For his part, Armando told reporters than, "I will find that Armitage and I will cut his fingers off for my necklace...of fingers."

Box Score





NUMBERS!








Analysis

Glavine's back, and he's actually good this year! Although that's probably because offenses have collapsed across the league this season, but, hey, you take what you can get.









Analysis

You're unlucky and the Cultists are a great team. Either of those would pose a problem, but with both, you're in big trouble.









Analysis

What has happened to your offense?









Analysis

Starting to look decent again.









Analysis

Hey, at least your team has finally bottomed out! Now stop starting Alex Avila before you kill your team entirely, okay?









Analysis

You've got home runs, but that pitching. Why are you still starting Ervin Santana?









Analysis

You team-high in home runs is 5, although that's probably because you play in Juneau, where it's always cold and wet.









Analysis

It's got to be frustrating having to deal with the surging Bobbleheads when you have the clearly superior team. But hey, sometimes you just get unlucky.









Analysis

Still hanging in there...sort of. Braun is getting killed by a .236 BABiP, which should normalize at some point.









Analysis

You need pitching help. Badly.









Analysis

The Mathematicians are one a good run, but the Cultists are still seven games up. You'll need them to stumble if you want to make the postseason.









Analysis

Looks like you've stabilized...for now.









Analysis

The Cultists have been coasting a bit. That sort of thing just happens to all teams, there's nothing structurally wrong with them or anything, even if Banks is a bit of a disappointment so far.









Analysis

The W's are doing alright, they just ran into the red-hot Bobbleheads and got swept. Next week against the Mudholes and Potatoes should be a bit more probative of their true talent level.









Analysis

The Ted Sox will have a chance to take the division from the W's in two weeks but, before they get that chance, they'll have to deal with the Bobbles and Landers first.









Analysis

Right-handed finesse pitchers are always a risk, and Fister and Shocker are both finesse pitchers...also, both of their names are innuendos. Coincidence? Probably.


Standings and Leaders




Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Okay, I guess Edmonds and Hornsby win.

All-Star Starters

Dynamo League
C: Johnny Bench (DUB)
1B: Mark McGwire (POR)
2B: Eddie Collins (BUR)
3B: Eddie Mathews (SXE)
SS: Alex Rodriguez (POU)
LF: Rickey Henderson (LOM)
CF: Jim Edmonds (BUR)
RF: Frank Robinson (ROC)
DH: Frank Thomas (ROC)
Manager: The Merry Marauder (NYF)

Smasher League
C: Josh Gibson (IDA)
1B: John Olerud (SLA)
2B: Rogers Hornsby (COM)
3B: Wade Boggs (JUN)
SS: Derek Jeter (CHO)
LF: Zack Wheat (OXB)
CF: Joe DiMaggio (LUN)
RF: Hank Aaron (LUN)
DH: Stan Musial (RYL)
Manager: blakelmenakle (CHO)

The Merry Marauder

You are now responsible for pick the remaining 16 players for the Dynamo League team, including the pitching staff. You must include at least one player from the following teams in your final roster:

Antarctica Unspecifieds
Barrow Daydreamers
Cleveland Unicorns
Florida Oranges
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers
Old Hoss Radbourns
Polyarny Postmodernists
Rochester Generics
St. Paul Bearers


blakelmenakle

You are now responsible for pick the remaining 16 players for the Smasher League team, including the pitching staff. You must include at least one player from the following teams in your final roster:

Cologne Emperors
Finger Lakes Phoenixes
Great Googly-Mooglies
Madison Mudholes
Norfolk Splinter Cells
Rated R Superstars
Ted Sox
Vice City Goose Eggs

factorialite
Mar 3, 2008

by Lowtax
I don't know if you answered, Smasher. Is Joe Wood permanently injured from earlier?

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

factorialite posted:

I don't know if you answered, Smasher. Is Joe Wood permanently injured from earlier?

I don't think he is.

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The Goog
Aug 6, 2007

It's a Goog Day, yes it is!
Trade proposal!

Great Googly-Mooglies get: 2009 Yadier Molina

Rated R Superstars get: 1911 Jack Lapp, 1910 Jim Delahanty

I cannot vote on this trade for the Superstars. The trade needs the approval of either (Bomber AND Pungry or Cthulhu Dreams) or (Pungry, Cthulhu Dreams and FaustoanBargain).

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