BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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«‹›1996 »

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

UltimoDragonQuest posted:

Hola, Goog!

My intention was to use the Spanish where tornado rhymes with Delgado and there is no e in the plural form. I believe the letter was swiped by a masked fox.

If you still find the present name confusing, rename to Tornados de Canc�n or the Anglophone QQ.

Works for me! As promised, here's what I was going to say: "You had a really good month, but I find it unlikely that your bullpen will only have to throw 24 innings a month for the rest of the season. But hey, if they do, you're gold!"

# ? Oct 26, 2012 03:11

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# ? May 12, 2024 19:31

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Wally Joyner was located and returned to Catalina.

In other news, I'll try and get an update prepared tomorrow. Having personal issues.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 04:38

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Music: "Wasted Youth" by Meat Loaf
Mood: optimistic

One month into the season and it's been a wild ride. Already Bloggers baseball is full of ups and downs, from an opening sweep of Brooklyn Bruiser's Woodchucks en route to a 5-game winning streak, to a 4-game losing streak mostly due to being swept by those same Woodchucks. But we've finished the month with four straight wins and a 16-12 record, and the future looks bright! Now, let's dig into some deeper analysis.

First, the elephant in the room: what the heck is going on with the roster? Every indication was that we'd enter the season with Dave McNally and Les Cain in the rotation, but it turns out they've spent April in the minors! I suppose we can't complain much, though, as they were replaced by Milt Pappas and Terry Leach, who have combined for a 3.28 ERA thus far. We definitely hope to get a look at McNally, though perhaps Cain could use some more seasoning. The bullpen could use some shuffling too. Perhaps an optimal pitching staff should be:

SP1 Mickey Lolich
SP2 Milt Pappas
SP3 Dave McNally
SP4 Pat Dobson
SP5 Red Lucas
(NOTE: Please keep Dobson as the next starter, then skip Lucas's start assuming Lolich is ready to go again)
CL Rick Aguilera
SU Mike Gonzalez
SR Stu Miller
SR John Hiller
MR Dick Hall
MR John Candelaria
LR Denny McLain
AAA Les Cain
AAA Terry Leach

On the hitting side, GM Mornacale has made a really buffoonish error by seemingly submitting an incomplete roster. Craig Wilson was left off entirely, though he DID seem to be in the lineups. As such, he's been nowhere to be found. Thankfully, stellar performances by Bonds, Puckett, and Grantham have been enough to drag along an undermanned and largely underperforming group. Hopefully adding Craig Wilson will help out. Put him in the platoon where he belongs, and maybe it'll get Hrbek going.

Finally, two orders of business are pressing. Starting 3B Brooks Robinson is hurt for 8 days, and will have to be replaced with Steady Freddy Sanchez. I'd be upset about this offensive downgrade, except Robinson has hit almost as poorly. Put Robinson in AAA until he's healthy, then send Sanchez down to lurk in case of future infield injuries. Second, Our Lord and Savior Barrold Bonds is tired. With his creaky legs, it's imperative we keep him rested. Start Boog Powell against RHP until Bonds is back to full strength.

We should also discuss lineup construction, with these changes, but that will have to be a post for tomorrow.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 06:58

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Mornacale posted:

Hopefully adding Craig Wilson will help out.

I want you to read that sentence to yourself out loud just so you understand how ridiculous it really is.

But seriously, Craig Wilson does not draw walks, only has mid-range power, and his OPS+ is buffeted by his bizarre ability to get hit by pitches that, I promise you, will not translate into the Mogul Engine. Do not use Craig Wilson under any circumstances. Not even if you are walking alone in a dark alley and a homeless man, who identifies himself as Craig Wilson, former baseball player*, threatens to gut you with his knife unless you include him on your roster. In that case, death would be far preferable to the damage virtual Craig Wilson would do to you.

*-I'm pretty sure this is what Craig Wilson has been doing since he retired from baseball.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 07:45

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Hey, I made some sample banners for new teams that commemorate past secondary title reigns, I'm not sure that I'll make any more unless people want them, though.

As an Englishman, I am fixated on recapturing former glory, so this sounds good to me! Bring the gold back to Bolton lads!

# ? Oct 26, 2012 08:18

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

# ? Oct 26, 2012 08:55

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Mornacale posted:

Music: "Wasted Youth" by Meat Loaf
Mood: optimistic

One month into the season and it's been a wild ride. Already Bloggers baseball is full of ups and downs, from an opening sweep of Brooklyn Bruiser's Woodchucks en route to a 5-game winning streak, to a 4-game losing streak mostly due to being swept by those same Woodchucks. But we've finished the month with four straight wins and a 16-12 record, and the future looks bright! Now, let's dig into some deeper analysis.

First, the elephant in the room: what the heck is going on with the roster? Every indication was that we'd enter the season with Dave McNally and Les Cain in the rotation, but it turns out they've spent April in the minors! I suppose we can't complain much, though, as they were replaced by Milt Pappas and Terry Leach, who have combined for a 3.28 ERA thus far. We definitely hope to get a look at McNally, though perhaps Cain could use some more seasoning. The bullpen could use some shuffling too. Perhaps an optimal pitching staff should be:

SP1 Mickey Lolich
SP2 Milt Pappas
SP3 Dave McNally
SP4 Pat Dobson
SP5 Red Lucas
(NOTE: Please keep Dobson as the next starter, then skip Lucas's start assuming Lolich is ready to go again)
CL Rick Aguilera
SU Mike Gonzalez
SR Stu Miller
SR John Hiller
MR Dick Hall
MR John Candelaria
LR Denny McLain
AAA Les Cain
AAA Terry Leach

On the hitting side, GM Mornacale has made a really buffoonish error by seemingly submitting an incomplete roster. Craig Wilson was left off entirely, though he DID seem to be in the lineups. As such, he's been nowhere to be found. Thankfully, stellar performances by Bonds, Puckett, and Grantham have been enough to drag along an undermanned and largely underperforming group. Hopefully adding Craig Wilson will help out. Put him in the platoon where he belongs, and maybe it'll get Hrbek going.

Finally, two orders of business are pressing. Starting 3B Brooks Robinson is hurt for 8 days, and will have to be replaced with Steady Freddy Sanchez. I'd be upset about this offensive downgrade, except Robinson has hit almost as poorly. Put Robinson in AAA until he's healthy, then send Sanchez down to lurk in case of future infield injuries. Second, Our Lord and Savior Barrold Bonds is tired. With his creaky legs, it's imperative we keep him rested. Start Boog Powell against RHP until Bonds is back to full strength.

We should also discuss lineup construction, with these changes, but that will have to be a post for tomorrow.

Expansion Cup Consigliere CBX would like to take this opportunity to remind ALL EC OWNERS that if you did not include a player (i.e. Craig Wilson) on your 28 man roster prior to the start of the EC, then you can not reasonably expect him to be played in the EC. If Pungry can't have Magglio Ordonez, then Mornacale can't have Craig Wilson.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 15:19

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Monicro posted:

7. Johnny Mize DH (if it isn't too much trouble, could you look and see how many ABs he got? I refuse to believe a HOFer didn't get a single hit all month as an everyday starter)

102 AB. He's had a historically bad month. It's not sustainable.

Also, you've done nothing about the trio of injuries to Boddicker, McGregor and Sanderson. I would suggest replacing them for the duration of their injuries.

CraigK, owner of New Orleans Mashers that he needs to include when he posts so I know posted:

and set whichever of Spiers or Figgins that has the higher defense as starting third baseman.

Okay. That would be Spiers. Who plays 3B then?

I have caught up with all the roster changes and injuries. May will be run today and then it's up to The_Goog to provide you stat junkies with the fix you so desperately crave.

cbx fucked around with this message at 15:56 on Oct 26, 2012

# ? Oct 26, 2012 15:49

IceMole: Aug 1, 2009

NotThatSamBeckett posted:

See, Smasher, I know Barry Bonds is worth a lot, but that requires people to offer me deals that don't include Bad Penny.

To be fair, you kind of had that coming given what you were going to sell him for. How about Smasher Dynamo's beloved 1986 Fernando Valenzuela and 2007 Derek Lowe for the injured rookie Barry Bonds.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 16:28

Pete Ladd: Mar 9, 2012

Sigh. Willis and Orosco in for Hoyt an Tudor respectively. As a reward for Denny Rainwater's good pitching advice, I wish to make him my ~~savior~~ closer. Reardon to short relief.

IceMole, that deal's in the running, especially if you threw in a bench bat for me, preferably not an outfielder.

Mornacale, you're going to need to go pitcher in the draft anyway, could you spare Lolich, who was surprisingly hittable for cbx, to make the deal Lolich/Roberts/Cash? Consider it, so we can use the Cash Considerations image.

Cthulhu, yes, Lajoie is untouchable. Unless you're looking to reverse the Jugg moves and send Big Train and Matty my way. I've been relegated before, and I'm not going to hand over a guy who never fails to hit .320.

Pete Ladd fucked around with this message at 17:33 on Oct 26, 2012

# ? Oct 26, 2012 17:27

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

But, but, I don't want any of my players to break! I'd vote for letting the AI rest players for next year. Carry a capable bench!

Big Hurt in full time at first, Olerud should be a decent PH. Edgar Martinez back to third base. Switch CF and 3B in the lineup, as well, please. [2 and 6]

# ? Oct 26, 2012 17:37

Archie Goodwin: Jan 2, 2012; Using intelligence guided by experience since 1934.

Go ahead and move Baylor to right and put Rickey back in left, thanks.

It is nice to see Mays hit well across the board. And Schmidt for the Radbourns, mind you.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 17:41

IceMole: Aug 1, 2009

NotThatSamBeckett posted:

IceMole, that deal's in the running, especially if you threw in a bench bat for me, preferably not an outfielder.

I suppose I could add 1980 Cesar Cedeno. He seems pretty bench batty.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 18:09

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

For the record, the best way to rest someone is probably just to have them sit only against righties for a week. That way, they'll get a few days off but will probably start a game or two in the process.

Dynamo League VII Week 17 Injury Report

No new champions, which means the Finger-Bangers will get a rematch with the Dervishes for the Unified European and U.S. States Titles in Week 18.

Old Hoss Radbourns
Brooks Robinson (3B) (Severe Clinical Depression) - 30 days

And that's it, a relatively painless week.

Anyone else want one of those new banners? The following teams are eligible to receive a new one:

-Dervishes
-Losers
-Postmodernists
-Bearers
-Unspecifieds
-Generics
-Bobbleheads
-Landers
-Phoenixes
-Juggernauts
-Cultists

e: lpix is moving servers, apparently, so expect today's update to be later than usual.

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Oct 26, 2012

# ? Oct 26, 2012 18:29

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

The people of Rochester will accept a new banner as any morale boost will be appreciated.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 19:51

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

cbx posted:

Expansion Cup Consigliere CBX would like to take this opportunity to remind ALL EC OWNERS that if you did not include a player (i.e. Craig Wilson) on your 28 man roster prior to the start of the EC, then you can not reasonably expect him to be played in the EC. If Pungry can't have Magglio Ordonez, then Mornacale can't have Craig Wilson.

So I am stuck with a 27-man roster all season? Despite the fact that Wilson was in my lineups both times I posted them? That is...unfortunate.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

I want you to read that sentence to yourself out loud just so you understand how ridiculous it really is.

But seriously, Craig Wilson does not draw walks, only has mid-range power, and his OPS+ is buffeted by his bizarre ability to get hit by pitches that, I promise you, will not translate into the Mogul Engine. Do not use Craig Wilson under any circumstances. Not even if you are walking alone in a dark alley and a homeless man, who identifies himself as Craig Wilson, former baseball player*, threatens to gut you with his knife unless you include him on your roster. In that case, death would be far preferable to the damage virtual Craig Wilson would do to you.

*-I'm pretty sure this is what Craig Wilson has been doing since he retired from baseball.

What is the EC for, if not throwing poo poo at the wall and seeing what happens? I'd love to have Norm Cash there, but I don't need a third left-handed 1B on the roster. Or Willie Horton, but he can only play LF. I could run out Shane Mack, but how much of an improvement would that even be? I'm tempted to ask for Eddie Matthews since my 3B is hurt, but that feels like cheating to me since I obviously intended Wilson to be on the 28-man to start.

Also, Craig Wilson was a really good ballplayer and it's not his fault that the idiot Pirates poo poo on him for no good reason. I won't have you defaming his name.

That said, if someone out there wants to trade me a right-handed corner bat, preferably with a large platoon split...

e: NotThatSamBeckett, you're right that I need help at SP, which is exactly why I can't open up an additional hole there by parting with Lolich.

Mornacale fucked around with this message at 21:32 on Oct 26, 2012

# ? Oct 26, 2012 21:23

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Again, if I don't have him listed on your roster, I can't put him on your actual team. I apologize for not alerting you to the final count of your roster like I did another owner who had 29 originally.

If you get to a point in the EC where injuries would force you to require Wilson in your lineup, I'll attempt to create him from scratch, but that's obviously inferior to loading the actual player from the roster file. You won't get an actual read on the player because the engine wouldn't be able to look at his past and total career stats to accurately predict his performance.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 21:55

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

cbx posted:

Again, if I don't have him listed on your roster, I can't put him on your actual team. I apologize for not alerting you to the final count of your roster like I did another owner who had 29 originally.

If you get to a point in the EC where injuries would force you to require Wilson in your lineup, I'll attempt to create him from scratch, but that's obviously inferior to loading the actual player from the roster file. You won't get an actual read on the player because the engine wouldn't be able to look at his past and total career stats to accurately predict his performance.

Oh, right, it makes sense that adding a new player into the world would be really difficult. But then how would it work if I did a trade with an SL team? Where would the received player come from? Not trying to argue against you, just wondering how things work.

Anyway, new lineups:
vs RHP
RF Babe Herman
2B George Grantham
CF Kirby Puckett
1B Kent Hrbek
C Ernie Lombardi
LF Boog Powell
SS Luis Aparicio
3B Freddy Sanchez
P

vs LHP
C Bill Freehan
LF Barry Bonds
2B George Grantham
CF Kirby Puckett
RF Babe Herman
SS Luis Aparicio
3B Freddy Sanchez
1B Kent Hrbek
P

If Dick McAuliffe can play an acceptable 3B (that is, somewhere close to Sanchez), start him at 3B against RHP and move him above Aparicio in the order.

When Bonds is no longer tired, replace Powell with Bonds and swap him with Hrbek against RHP.

When Robinson is healthy, replace Sanchez with him against RHP. Put him in Grantham's spot in the lineup vs LHP, but have him playing 3B and Sanchez 2B.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 23:16

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

I look for a similar player and copy him, and then change his age.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 23:45

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

cbx posted:

Also, you've done nothing about the trio of injuries to Boddicker, McGregor and Sanderson. I would suggest replacing them for the duration of their injuries.

But I did!

Monicro posted:

half my rotation died cool

Okay, let's see here. DL Boddicker, replace his rotation spot with Ken Holtzman.

DL McGregor, replace his spot in the rotation with Joe Niekro.

Switch Neikro and Steve Rogers' spots in the rotation.

I guess DL Sanderson, but I dunno if you even have to in Mogul since he's in AAA.

# ? Oct 26, 2012 23:48

Nerokerubina: Jun 7, 2007; I think swords are neat. Do you think swords are neat?!

a bad team from upstate new york
Temporarily platoon hamilton vr at CF (keeping beltran vL)

# ? Oct 26, 2012 23:59

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

By the way, I want to point out just how ridiculous the Non-Existants Division is. The worst team is 12-13, all five clubs are within 3 games. Hope it's a dogfight all season (before my inevitable victory).

# ? Oct 27, 2012 00:17

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Monicro posted:

But I did!

My apologies, I searched for that post twice, must've missed it. Don't worry, sim hasn't started yet.

# ? Oct 27, 2012 00:27

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

cbx posted:

Okay. That would be Spiers. Who plays 3B then?

Spiers can play 3rd; I don't trust Figgins as far as I can throw him, and they've basically got the same overall rating anyway. Keep the lineup the same otherwise.

# ? Oct 27, 2012 01:30

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League VII, Smasher League 16: Doomsday!

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

MUDHOLES SHOCK POTATOES LATE, WIN 10-8

Madison- Every dog has its day.

The Mudholes, finally facing a team worse than them, broke through on Stan Musial's 9th-inning walkoff home run, giving a team that win that they needed, if not for standings reasons, then at least for their own mental health.

The Potatoes, for their part, dropped another tight game, and remain slated to begin the Gauntlet in Round 1, a precarious position that will almost certainly doom them to relegation if it is not remedied. Grinnblade, owner of the Potatoes and avowed fan of the band Nickelback, blamed his team, "What the hell was that? We score seven runs in the eighth and we still end up losing? I build a great team and now my workers/parasites are letting me down. Well, I have had it! I'm going Galt! Galt, I say! I'm striking until the players properly respect the sacrifices that I make for them." Grinnblade then left the podium and retreated to the visiting manager's office and hung a sign on the door labeled "Galt's Gulch". A quick check on wikipedia later revealed that this was another reference to Atlas Shrugged.

Asked for an explanation of this owner's behavior, Josh Gibson hung his head and sighed, "I never wanted to go to the Potatoes, okay? The Sharks, they were my team, but Student turned his back on us, and now I'm stuck with the worst team in the league, and when we lose in the first round of the Gauntlet, I'm going to get stuck with the worst team in the next expansion class, and so on until the Super-League finally ends. It's just drat miserable."

theacox, celebrating a bit of good news for once, managing to drink an entire six-pack of Busch Light during his press conference, "Man, this is the loving poo poo right here! Now maybe people will come to our games for fun and and not just because it's a place where we don't card people who want to buy beer. And we can maybe also consider dropping 'Drink a Case' Mondays, where you get a free ticket to a future game if you can drink an entire 30-pack of beer during a game. It turns out that most people, even most people from Madison, will die of alcohol poisoning before they can get through the whole case. And while it's Wisconsin state law that no one can be held liable for any accidents that result from beer, we still kind of want to move away from that if we can. Okay, I've got to jet, see you guys later."

Box Score

Don May posted:

MATHEMATICIANS SURVIVE JUGGERNAUTS 5-4

Juneau- Quad-Foxx is not enough.

The Mathematicians were on the ropes late in today's game, down 3-2 in the top of the ninth, just three outs away from a loss. Fortunately, factorialite has made Byung-Hyun Kim his closer and, with a remarkable alacrity. Arky Vaughan doubled and Buster Posey singled to tie the game, sending it to extra innings. A different, perhaps wiser owner, would have replaced Kim at this point, but factorialite kept the faith in Kim and was rewarded when Kim gave up two singles to start the top of the eleventh. Finally at his wit's end, factorialite then replaced Kim with Norm Charlton, but the Mathematicians were able to take advantage of the situation to score two runs that would prove just enough to take them to a 5-4, 11-inning win.

After the game, Revenant Threshold praised his team, "I think we showed the true hearts of lions today! I admit that I am still generally unfamiliar with this game, but clearly, we outplayed the other side by a significant margin, to the extent that we were rewarded with some sort of extra innings, as it has been my experience that most games end somewhere between the sixth and ninth innings, whereas this one lasted eleven! That was quite unusual. I would like to single out for praise one Bustron Poseigh, my starting catchman. He played a marvelous game today, with his hitting and running, and I believe some manner of fielding. Just a wonderful day here for the Maths."

Jimmie Foxx, who hit a home run in the eleventh to start an abortive rally for the Juggernauts, was disappointed. "Well, these things hap-" He was then interrupted as another Jimmie Foxx entered the room.

"Wait a minute!" exclaimed the newcomer, "You aren't the Jimmie Foxx who hit that home run! I am!"

The first Foxx retorted, "No way, chief, that home run was mine!"

"You're both wrong!" shouted a third Jimmie Foxx, who came into the room with a bat in his hand, which he began to thump on the ground menacingly, "I am the Jimmie Foxx that hit that home run! You two are just trying to steal my loving glory!"

"Is that what you think?" cried a fourth Jimmie Foxx, "Because where I'm standing, all I see are three liars trying to take my place to cover their own sorry asses!" Things began to get a bit confusing at this point.

"gently caress you!" snapped one of the Foxxes as he rushed another, and a four-way all-Foxx melee soon broke out in the room as four evenly matched men attempted to settle matters with violence. The fight lasted for some time, with the walls of the room being stained with the blood of four Jimmie Foxxes, until, at last, only one Jimmie Foxx remained upright, and then he began to speak, "I am the true Jimmie Foxx, I hit that home run, and these other three are just lovely imitators of the motherfucking genuine article." He then noticed one of the Foxxes stirring on the and kicked it squarely in the head, forcing it back into unconsciousness, "There is only one Jimmie Foxx, and that is me, and if any of you bastards want to dispute that well...come right on."

factorialite, told about the chaos in the press conference, thought carefully about his response, "Clearly, our team is just one Foxx away from perfect harmony. If only we could pry that last Foxx from the Emperors, then I just know everything would work out. I mean, four Foxxes? That's unbalanced and crazy. But five Foxxes...that's just mathematical perfection!"

Box Score

Don May posted:

EMPERORS OBLITERATE CELLS 16-4

Norfolk- One of these teams looks to be ready to fight for their lives. The other, not so much.

With a crushing 16-4 win, the Emperors, already survivors of two Gauntlets, announced that they would be ready to fight for their lives once more, with Martin Dihigo made his return to the mound and picked up an easy win.

CVE, the owner of both the Emperors and the city of Cologne, was happy with the result, "I will be the first to admit that the season to date has been somewhat of a disappointment. Injuries and our inability to handle these new Cultists have left us where short of where I was hoping for to be. But I believe that with a good stretch run and the attrition in the Expansion Cup, that we will be able to avoid the Gauntlet entirely. At least, that is my ambition for my team. And now, in order to continue the process of destroying the ugly stereotype that German people do not have a sense of humor, I will conclude with a humorous joke that will transcend all barriers of nationality and language: A man goes to see Cloud Atlas and expects to see a well put-together film. That is the joke. Thank you and good night."

He then began to leave, but suddenly turned around, "I almost had forgotten. According to my medical staff, The Thornton Lee will return in roughly two weeks, and we are all hoping that he can return to form after a number of below-average starts."

The Cells were not quite focused it seemed. Owner cbx announced that, "I am very happy with how the Cells have played in the first month. I really think we can win this thing, and every thing is trending in the right direction." A bit of discussion later, and it was revealed that cbx was referring to the Expansion Cup, where he had put the Splinter Cells in as a feeder team, "Listen, we could take the Cup this year! It could happen! I honestly think we have the best team!" Asked about his team's chances in the actual Super-League, cbx responded, "That's why I put them in the Expansion Cup, you know...because we deserve to win something before we get relegated."

Box Score

Numbers of Hope, Numbers of Fate

Analysis

Not a great week, but the Landers are running out of time, so the Bobbleheads just have to hang on, really.

Analysis

The Emperors continue to slowly bleed out.

Analysis

It may just be that the Comancheros weren't made for long-term success. They had a great offense, but it wasn't quite elite, and their defense and pitching were never going to be able to save them if their hitting faltered even for a moment. At least, that's my theory.

Analysis

And then the Phoenixes solved all of their problems at the same time.

Analysis

Man, even Ted Williams isn't working out for you.

Analysis

Josh Gibson is sad.

Analysis

Well, the Quad-Foxx isn't killing your team. Not sure it's helping much, but it isn't killing you.

Analysis

The Landers are just in the wrong place in the wrong time. Next season, though, will probably be a different story.

Analysis

poo poo, the Mudholes still have a bit of life left in them. Good for them.

Analysis

So...uh...how's the Expansion Cup going?

Analysis

If you can't win your series against the Cultists next week, your team will almost certainly miss the playoffs.

Analysis

What happened? Bad luck and not a lot of depth, mainly. Sometimes teams just don't work the way they're supposed to. That said, Andruw Jones and Larry Doby are doing what they always do in the Super-League, so it's not like you couldn't have seen that coming.

Analysis

Well, think of it this way, at least you lost the title to the W's instead of the Phoenixes. Although I have the feeling that dropped four straight to your likely first-round opponent isn't doing your nerves any favors.

Analysis

Is it magic? No. It's the fact that the left-handed power plus groundball pitchers is exactly the formula for success in the W's home part.

Analysis

The Ted Sox pythagorean record has them 20 games below .500, and they're actually 4 games above. As far as red flags go, that's about as ominous a sign as I've ever seen.

Analysis

We had fun, Armitage, we had fun.

Standings and Leaders

# ? Oct 27, 2012 01:47

UZworm: Feb 9, 2009; Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem

Nerokerubina posted:

a bad team from upstate new york

Hey now, there's two bad teams from upstate NY around here :colbert:

# ? Oct 27, 2012 01:48

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Only NYC residents and Long Islanders think Poughkeepsie is "upstate."

# ? Oct 27, 2012 02:23

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Luna Landers

This is still doable, though it's not looking good. Let's give Aaron a few days off for fatigue, and start working Hartnett back into the mix.

Lineup vsL:

LF Tim Raines
2B Eddie Collins
1B Lou Gehrig
CF Joe DiMaggio
DH Manny Ramirez
RF Hank Aaron
SS Nomar Garciaparra
C Gabby Hartnett
3B George Brett

Lineup vsR:

LF Tim Raines
2B Eddie Collins
1B Lou Gehrig
CF Joe DiMaggio
DH Manny Ramirez
3B George Brett
RF Larry Walker
SS Nomar Garciaparra
C Gabby Hartnett

Bench:
Thurman Munson
Eddie Joost
Mark Bellhorn
Rickey Henderson
(RF platoon)

That means Dwayne Murphy to the minors for the time being.
Thurman Munson personal catcher for Clemens.

Pitching:

SP Martinez
SP Clemens
SP Feller
SP Maddux
SP Reuschel

Bullpen unchanged. My apologies to Rick Langford, who's been an excellent long man for two seasons now; he wrecked his numbers by throwing a crappy spot start because I wasn't paying enough attention to get a sub in.

# ? Oct 27, 2012 04:52

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

My apologies for lack of an update; I had a power failure and suffered some hard drive corruption. Just got back on, will doublecheck the EC data tomorrow morning and try and get something up before I leave.

# ? Oct 27, 2012 05:25

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Take your time, dude. I've got a busy day of my own tomorrow.

The Mooglies will send down Sizemore and put Averill back in the lineup. Stop getting tired, Earl!

The Superstars will send down Larry Doby and try Happy Felsch in his spot in the order, because why not?

# ? Oct 27, 2012 05:46

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

The Goog posted:

The Superstars will send down Larry Doby and try Happy Felsch in his spot in the order, because why not?

Given that this is a contender for the worst idea I've ever heard, let's not?

Also, if you want to make a change, why not replace Jack Lapp with Molina?

# ? Oct 27, 2012 06:23

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

This is for kw0134:

And, just for fun, and combined banner for Marauder:

# ? Oct 27, 2012 08:39

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

OK, that's pretty awesome.

: Every good owner makes his team's honors his own, and cherishes them not only as precious, but sacred.

Well, the Phoenixes swept the Cultists, and charming villainy triumphs over banal technocracy. Now, however, I've got five guys listed as sore and an offense keyed on Brian Giles. We got this.

Schnozz Lombardi, Lemon, and A-Gon down, Richie Allen, Henrich and Bill Dickey up. Rollins in for Larkin all week, Dickey platoons with Piazza while Henrich platoons with Rickey, give Rolfe the week off with Allen.

DL Schilling, replace him with Red Ruffing, call up Peavy to be long man.

Sorry for the shuffling, but I'd been putting this off.

# ? Oct 27, 2012 11:03

blakelmenakle: Sep 1, 2007; AHEM! There's sand on my boots!

Send Gehringer down to the DL and call up old man Jeter so that I can pretend to have a backup infielder on my bench.

After the Landers series, give relatively younger Jeter and Greenberg some rest and let old man Jeter and Giles take their spots against the Mudholes.

And I'll take one of those cool banners when you get the time.

# ? Oct 27, 2012 18:15

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Smasher League Week 17 Injury Report

No New Champions. Landers came close, though.

Idaho Potatoes
Pete Alexander (SP) (Another good man with his skull fractured by an Idahoan. Repeal the Utica Accords today!) - 45 days

Juneau Juggernauts
Spud Davis (C) (Beaten up by gang of Jimmie Foxxes for taking a job that a Foxx could fill) - 20 days

Vice City Goose Eggs
Tom Morgan (RP) (We're leaving together...but it's still farewell...and maybe we'll come back...to Earth, who can tell? I guess there's no one to blame...We're leaving ground...will things ever be the same again?) - 12 days

# ? Oct 27, 2012 19:20

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Let's rest Dave Winfield for a bit and start Reggie Jackson for him.

# ? Oct 27, 2012 19:23

factorialite: Mar 3, 2008; by Lowtax

guess foxx is on for davis!

# ? Oct 27, 2012 19:54

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League VII, Dynamo League Week 17: Sound and Fury

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

IMPERIALISTS COMPLETE FOUR-GAME SWEEP WITH 12-0 ROUT OVER LOSERS

Rockford- No one saw this coming.

The Imperialists have been coming on strong lately, taking the lead in the Memento Mori Division and quickly building a four-game cushion over the erratic Second City Saints. Still, against the powerful Losers, who have owned the Vae Victis Division this year, and won 100 games in Super-League VI, they seemed the clear underdogs.

Instead, the Imperialists have won four straight games in Rockford, further consolidating their control of the Memento Mori Division and opening the possibility of the Imperialists winning home-field advantage in a first-round series should they make the playoffs.

Don Sutton, who pitched an incredible game, shutting out the Losers completely, praised the steady leadership of Viscount Slim, "I think the biggest strength we have had this year has been a certain amount of steadiness in our lineup. Viscount hasn't really changed things too often, and I think that's been working out well for us. Or, at least, it's been working out well enough."

Lord Mayor Humungus, who has had a frustrating month, reluctantly agreed, "Perhaps I have been too harsh in the past. It is certainly possible that the Imperialists, despite themselves, may prove themselves a minor obstacle to my team. But I have faced such obstacles before and prevailed. I remember when the Marshall of Boone County opposed me in such a manner. The tanned skins of his men still adorn my city hall. Viscount Slim, enjoy this victory, because the time will come when we return, and your arrogance comes crashing down on you. We come crashing down on you. This must happen, Viscount Slim. This disgrace cries out to be avenged. Enjoy your final days, Viscount Slim. You have heard the story of a man caught between a cliff and a tiger, who enjoys the sweetest strawberry he ever tasted, knowing it that it is his last. Consider the remaining nine weeks of the regular season your strawberry, Viscount Slim. Enjoy it, savor it, because we are the tiger, climb up the mountain of the Memento Mori Division, and we will be waiting to devour you. Or you can fall from your lead, fall off the cliff, fall into the Gauntlet, desperately trying to avoid our revenge. Either way, doom is certain. Enjoy your last strawberry, Viscount Slim."

The Viscount Slim was not impressed, "Spare me the theatrics. I could not be less concerned with the Losers at the moment. Oh, you might eat me as the tiger? What a poor metaphor to deploy against an Imperialist in Burma, I would think, for in this ancient and savage land, I have encountered many such beasts and have learned that though they may be fearsome, that sweet, sharp sting of a rifle lulls all tigers to a very, very deep sleep. We have won four straight games in Rockford. If we can do that now, I can see no reason to fear a playoff match-up against such a team. After all, it's in the nature of a Loser to lose, is it not?"

Box Score

Don May posted:

RADBOURNS BEAT BEARERS, INDIFFERENCE REIGNS

Raleigh- The Radbourns were a bad idea that could not possibly have worked out. The Bearers were a decent enough idea executed poorly. Both are almost certain to face relegation at the end of this season.

To be honest, it's hard to see who will really care when that happens. The Radbourns were created with the gimmick of what would happen if a team had no starting pitchers. The conventional wisdom was that it would be a complete disaster. The conventional wisdom was right.

As for the Bearers, they were a corporate team, that was supposed to dominate its sole proprietorship competitors just as corporations routinely crush small businessmen in real life. It turns out, however, that the Super-League is not actually a perfect simulation of capitalism, and the diffuse ownership situation has created far, far more problems that it has solved.

In the end, there were no winners today. Oh, the Radbourns may have scored more runs, but what will that do for them, in the end? It seems doubtful that they will even escape the first round of the Gauntlet, and there is virtually no chance they will survive it. The losing Bearers' situation may not be quite as dire, but it is close, and with its fragmented ownership, the chances of them turning it around are even slimmer.

In short, these teams are completely and utterly doomed, and since their owners have other, better teams, no one should feel too bad about that.

Box Score

Don May posted:

DENNY RAINWATER IMPLODES, BULLDOGS WIN 5-4

Portland- It was never going to work for long.

With the Postmodernists up 4-3 in the bottom of the ninth, it was time to bring in untested closer Denny Rainwater, a player of uncertain origin and questionable abilities. But the Postmodernists, believing in the permeability of reality to the last, were convinced that if they created the illusion of Denny Rainwater's invincibility, then it would become the truth.

And so they began their practiced choreography to that end. First, there was the procession of the banners, each one illustrating a different moment in Postmodernist history. First, there was the banner showing the founding of the Paris Postmodernists in Super-League V, followed by one showing the relegation of that team, as symbolized by the Macho Man Randy Savage delivering his trademark elbow to Scott Bakula. This was followed by the refounding of the Postmodernists in Polyarny, their triumph in Expansion Cup VI, and finally, their recent win of the Intercontinental Championship, which they have since lost.

The lights in the stadium then dimmed, and non-licensed music began to play. An invocation was read aloud on the loudspeakers:

"When the world quakes and the all hope in danger of falling into despair, our voices rise, united, calling for the only man who came save us from calamity. Save us from defeat, save...us...Denny Rainwater!"

This led to Denny Rainwater being escorted to the mound by a dozen robed members of the Postmodernists, at which point a number of pyrotechnics went off around the stadium, to further whip up the crowd. Denny Rainwater was then ceremonially given the ball by Postmodernists' owner NotThatSamBeckett, and the game could now proceed.

The 54-minute spectacle was something to behold. Through it all, though, TKBomber grew angrier and angrier at the scene. By the time it was over, he could be heard screaming, "KILL HIM! I WANT HIM DEAD! KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES! YOU SAW WHAT I DID TO THE loving PHANTOMS AND I ACTUALLY LIKED THOSE GUYS! KILL HIM! NOW!"

The Bulldogs took that message to heart as pinch-hitter Gee Walker led off the inning with a single. Molitor, looking for the quick end to the game, jumped at a fastball early in the count, but the ball was caught by a diving Nap Lajoie. That brought up Chet Lemon, but before Lemon could reach the plate, TKBomber intercepted him and had a brief conversation that involved the owner brandishing a very large, very sharp knife at his center fielder. The message was clear: kill or be killed. Lemon, now afraid for his own life, took a huge swing at the first pitch of the at-bat, a slow fastball that was much too close to the center of the plate. There was no doubt that this was the fatal blow, as the ball sailed over the center field fence to score two runs and give the Bulldogs a 5-4 win.

Denny Rainwater, confused by what had just happened, was then taken by his teammates to a waiting coffin and placed him inside. The lid was then nailed shut, and the team dug a grave for Rainwater in left field, lowered the coffin, filled up the grave and left.

The Bulldogs, stunned at the scene, then quickly dug up the grave, if only because of concerns that the burial might have damaged a series of wires buried near that spot. When they found the coffin, however, they quickly realized that it was empty, despite the fact the fact that the lid was still fastened with the nails from earlier.

In response this bizarre turn of events, TKBomber simply noted, "I loving hate the Postmodernists so loving much. This poo poo never happens when we play any other teams. Hell, even when blackmongoose tried to destroy my brain with his stupid loving dome, at least I didn't have to pay $10,000 loving dollars to get my field re-sodded! loving Postmodernists! Oh, and Sting is suing me for the unauthorized use of his intellectual property, which is just the drat cherry on top!"

Box Score

Stats: The Statistics Mystery

Analysis

The good news is that these Unspecifieds have a much, much better chance of surviving to see another season that either of your previous efforts. The bad news is that, on talent alone, I don't see you passing the Bangers.

Then again, the Super-League has never been just about talent, it's been about what you do with it.

Analysis

I'd say this team's biggest problems is that their pitchers appear to be made of papier mache...and not particularly strong papier mache, either.

Analysis

Leonard isn't working out. Replace him with Williams or McDowell. You're close to locking up your weak division up. Another good month and it's yours.

Analysis

Still cursed. Now go get Barry Bonds from SamBeckett.

Analysis

And Grimes is back just in time for your rematch with the Bangers. You'll want him to take Nolan's spot.

Analysis

The losing streak is over thanks to a 5-2 week. Now it's time to take advantage of the Losers' vulnerability.

Analysis

I don't think Giambi is really good enough at his young age to be part of a platoon. I think he's better suited to be a left-handed bat off the bench. As for Barry Bonds, the power is there, the patience is there, but he has a BABiP of .199. That should even out over time.

Analysis

I told you that your team was better than it looked early on. Thanks for not making me look like an idiot.

Analysis

The Radbourns might avoid the first round of the Gauntlet if they keep this up! They'll still get relegated, but not until round 2!

Analysis

Denny Rainwater cost you two games in a row this week. Just saying.

Analysis

The Bulldogs are pulling themselves together, which is nice. But the Memento Mori division is more competitive than expected, which is a real problem for them.

Analysis

I know it's not what you want to hear, but there's always going to be a last place team in the Super-League. This season, you got unlucky and it turned out to be you. But that doesn't mean that your next team won't be better.

Analysis

Generics are doing well. I make fun of them a fair amount, but any team that can carry a winning record for as long as the Generics has is pretty good.