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pastor of muppets posted:Oh man. Six more days. This engagement has flown by. I did. My mom and dad have been out of my life for 7 years and my brother didn't come to my wedding. My FIL offered to walk with me but I decided that would be too awkward and just went alone. I'm very happy with my decision. People looked at me like they wanted to cry when ever I explained the situation but I was really fine with it. Don't worry about what others think, it's your moment.
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Nov 5, 2012 00:09
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shdwdmg posted:Calm down, Now's not the time for fear. That comes later. It's a cool idea. I don't mean to push myself forward, but I paint and could do this for you relatively cheaply. Email me here if you're interested, and I can send you examples of my work, discuss the art style you want, etc. Popcyan fucked around with this message at 01:59 on Nov 5, 2012 |
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Nov 5, 2012 01:54
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marauderthirty posted:That photo pretty much nails what I am looking for. Just the solitaire, she wouldn't like gaudy diamonds everywhere like a drat Super Bowl ring. I really like just the simple ring like you illustrated, but I am also at least a little bit interested in slight variations, like where the ring sort of makes a roller coaster loop and the mount joins it in the middle. I can probably find a picture if you have no idea what I'm talking about. I like the idea of having something custom made, but I'm not sure how severely that would affect the price. I'm also not seeing any point in buying a separate wedding band. I already have to buy myself a drat ring as well, seriously, 3 is pushing it. It jus seems like it's making it that much more extravagant, again, something that I know she probably doesn't want. If you're going for simpler settings like that then you're fine with just about anything you pick then, platinum, y/w gold, probably even palladium. Platinum isn't as popular for the more complicated settings just because it's harder to work with, but if it's ring + prongs you're after then it shouldn't be a problem. Designs reserved for the 14k's are more all over the map like this 20 diamond monster (again own hosting, not leeching):  Timing could be tight depending on what setting you choose, but if it's a simple prong fitting it shouldn't take more than a day or two to get the gem into the setting. I know for my stuff it can take a week to make the fitting (if it isn't crazy) and then an extra day to set the gem. It's different in your case, since you already have the gem so it might make more sense to work with someone local.
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Nov 5, 2012 02:42
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pastor of muppets posted:
My husband and I did! My father wasn't present at the ceremony due to visa issues, but even if he had attended, we were going to do down the aisle together because we had been together for long enough that we thought of it as stepping into the next chapter of our lives with each other. It was perfect for us! In fact, we were together the whole entire day. We even got ready in the same room because why the hell not? It made it for a much more relaxed day.
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Nov 5, 2012 06:03
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Thanks for the great suggestions! It's good to know I'm not alone in my ideas, makes me feel less crazy.  What are the "rules" about inviting family to the shower but not the ceremony/reception? We've been living in sin for years so we don't need anything and we're keeping the wedding to immediate family only but I still want to give my extended family an opportunity to celebrate with me, mainly to not offend anyone, especially cousins whose weddings I had been invited to. I've read online that the best way to deal with this is to call the shower a "bridal luncheon" and to specify that gifts are not necessary. Is this phrasing appropriate in this situation when we're keeping the wedding super small? Anyone done something similar? When we get back from our honeymoon we'll be sending out a postcard/letter/photo album full of pictures from the ceremony, reception, honeymoon and details about what we did. Neither of us are really close to our extended family so this seems more appropriate then inviting all 150 of them to the wedding. Does anyone have any experience doing this or something similar?
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Nov 5, 2012 06:10
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I made two amazing friends in September, they've already been better friends to me than people I've known my whole life. I've actually been contemplating asking them to be two of my bridesmaids...is it too soon? Would it be weird since we haven't known each other that long? Should I just invite them as regular guests?
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Nov 5, 2012 16:26
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We just booked our venue and church. Two years 9 days and counting. They were nice enough to give us one of the gardens attached to our venue for free. We were planning on adding it on anyway at a cost of $500, so gently caress yeah!
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Nov 5, 2012 18:21
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Toriori posted:I made two amazing friends in September, they've already been better friends to me than people I've known my whole life. I've actually been contemplating asking them to be two of my bridesmaids...is it too soon? Would it be weird since we haven't known each other that long? Should I just invite them as regular guests? I would say go for it. I still don't even have ONE new friend close enough to be a bridesmaid, let alone maid of honor  That is a special thing, when a new friend comes into your life and they immediately encompass everything that is great about true friendship. Do it. They are probably waiting for you to ask them.
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Nov 5, 2012 18:22
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May also ask here, as it seems legal megathread hungers after inappropriate amount e/n content. Could anybody, please, tell me - what's the legal status of polyandry (and polygamy) on the territory of the European Union? Is it legal or illegal?
agrielaios fucked around with this message at 22:06 on Nov 5, 2012 |
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Nov 5, 2012 21:43
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agrielaios posted:May also ask here, as it seems legal megathread hungers after inappropriate amount e/n content. Could anybody, please, tell me - what's the legal status of polyandry (and polygamy) on the territory of the European Union? Is it legal or illegal? I'm not a lawyer or European, but Wikipedia says it's illegal. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_status_of_polygamy
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Nov 5, 2012 22:21
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Alright, I have completed ring shopping phase one. I live in Colorado, and the Shane Co. was a really attractive option, but in the end that's about a 75 mile drive each way and I just couldn't be arsed to make the trip. I probably could have saved myself a couple hundred bucks, but I just absolutely hate driving to Denver. So after my extremely brief first stop with the rude lazy jeweler, I decided to hit up the big box. I didn't like being pressured by the sales lady, but the bottom line was that they did everything to get me what I wanted, so they got my money. They had plenty of solitaire settings, but once I saw them up close I decided that I really don't like the prongs. So they drew me up a little something with a tension fitting at the top, called the guy to make sure he could have it done for me in time, and now we are good to go! Assuming she likes it of course, I mean I did design it with her interests in mind but I'm still going to tell her she can trade it in for whatever she wants. Maybe she does like the prong look, who knows? I'm posting from my phone at work right this second, so ill put up the picture of the sketch when I get home. Here's the sketch. Real simple, no ugly prongs. Can't wait to see it finished! 
the good fax machine fucked around with this message at 01:11 on Nov 7, 2012 |
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Nov 5, 2012 22:25
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Mongoloid Joe posted:I would say go for it. I still don't even have ONE new friend close enough to be a bridesmaid, let alone maid of honor More wedding news...we decided to hire a harpist for the ceremony so I'm extremely excited, and I ordered my flowers off Etsy. I decided to go with artificial flowers because I'd like to keep them forever. I found a great seller on Etsy who has been lightning fast with responses. I'm so excited! 
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Nov 5, 2012 22:58
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It's done, and we loving nailed it. Barely a dry in the house, mine (the groom) included. Everybody told me what an amazing ceremony it was. And then everybody told me what an amazing party it was afterwards. As I posted on facebook. Wedding: loving nailed it.
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Nov 6, 2012 03:55
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FISHMANPET posted:It's done, and we loving nailed it. Barely a dry in the house, mine (the groom) included. Everybody told me what an amazing ceremony it was. And then everybody told me what an amazing party it was afterwards. As I posted on facebook. Wedding: loving nailed it. Congratulations! I know it's been kind of a long process for you, so I'm glad it all came together in the end.
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Nov 6, 2012 14:32
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rockcity posted:I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend (of nearly 7 years) in about a month from now and I'm working on the actual proposal, which I have planned out, but I could use some help. For our first anniversary my girlfriend gave me a small wooden box and inside were strips of paper that had different things written about myself and about us on them, 100 of this, 100 of that etc and it all totaled up to 365 strips of paper. I've had the idea for a while that I want to do the same thing for her when I propose with the total number of days we've been dating. Obviously I have a substantial amount of things to come up with, 2437 in fact and I'm running out of ideas of what to put on the paper. So far I have three categories that I've been working on, adjectives that describe her, moments that we had together and phrases about her. I have about 200 of each right now and I have a month to come up with more. I have more to put in the moments category that I haven't typed out yet, but I'd really like to come up with some more categories of things. My girlfriend is now away visiting her family until next Saturday so it's crunch time on this now. I'm about halfway through the list now so I'm doing well so far. Right now my categories are: Adjectives that describe her Moments we've had together Roadside attractions (she's a huge fan of oddities and world's largest stuff) Things I love about her Bands we've seen together Plans for the future Places we've been The bands one I think I've maxed out, same with the places we've been, at least without listing places that are sort of trivial. Can anyone think of any more ideas for categories?
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Nov 7, 2012 21:24
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rockcity posted:My girlfriend is now away visiting her family until next Saturday so it's crunch time on this now. I'm about halfway through the list now so I'm doing well so far. Right now my categories are: How about how she makes you feel?
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Nov 8, 2012 00:17
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rockcity posted:My girlfriend is now away visiting her family until next Saturday so it's crunch time on this now. I'm about halfway through the list now so I'm doing well so far. Right now my categories are: The moment you knew, without reservation, that you wanted to spend your life with her.
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Nov 8, 2012 01:01
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So I've been engaged since June, and now it's becoming rapidly clear the venue that I want, and he likes, is out of budget because bringing in catering is painfully steep. It's a museum and nonprofit community garden, which is wonderful because I work in NPs, and anything that helps us guys ... Not to the tune of 15k without anything but the food and plates. The other sites we looked around that were closer to us were re-tar-ded. $9500 for the site rental. This is not Manhattan. This is the Tristate New York region. I'm trying to feed and party with 120 people. What the hell?! I'm trying not to freak out. I want to dance, I want good food, I want indoor lighting, and I want my family there. What are we honestly supposed to be doing at this point???
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Nov 8, 2012 05:55
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FloorCheese posted:How about how she makes you feel? I like this one, but I have a feeling it's going to end up having a whole lot of overlap with the adjectives that describe her. I guess I could focus on making it more than one word though.
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Nov 8, 2012 06:28
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rockcity posted:I like this one, but I have a feeling it's going to end up having a whole lot of overlap with the adjectives that describe her. I guess I could focus on making it more than one word though. I would have fun with it and have these really really elaborate descriptions.
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Nov 8, 2012 16:22
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my darling feet posted:I'm trying not to freak out. I want to dance, I want good food, I want indoor lighting, and I want my family there. What are we honestly supposed to be doing at this point??? Short of asking for your guests to pay for their meals, if it's out of your budget it's out of your budget - unless you want to go into debt for it? Or ask family to pitch in? Hold a Wedding Budget Fundraiser? Workmate of mine is embracing the 'No Gifts Please - Just Pay For Your Meal' idea--$15k across 120 people is only $125 per person after all. Saves on having to shop for a gift, saves you worrying about a registry or any of that. Means you don't go into debt for the wedding, and everyone can celebrate it with you at your chosen venue. Could be worse.
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Nov 11, 2012 05:28
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my darling feet posted:So I've been engaged since June, and now it's becoming rapidly clear the venue that I want, and he likes, is out of budget because bringing in catering is painfully steep. It's a museum and nonprofit community garden, which is wonderful because I work in NPs, and anything that helps us guys ... It may not be ideal, but if your venue is out of your budget then you should consider alternatives. You can save money by hosting your wedding at a public park, or a restaurant. Or, if you really want the venue, you can host a brunch or dessert reception. You could have a potluck. It's all about trade-offs.
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Nov 11, 2012 05:59
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nyerf posted:Short of asking for your guests to pay for their meals, if it's out of your budget it's out of your budget - unless you want to go into debt for it? Or ask family to pitch in? Hold a Wedding Budget Fundraiser? Seems tacky as gently caress though, man. :\ e: vvvvv Yeah exactly. The whole suggestion that gift = payment for your meal is itself flawed and gross, so the idea of replacing gifts outright with cash for the meal is just egregious. People don't want to pay $125 for food (and drinks I HOPE for that much) they can't choose. It's basically like saying, "I care about having you at this important event in my life, except I want you to pay for the pleasure actually or else  " The thing with gifts is that (1) they're optional assuming you're not a git, (2) they come in a range of prices so people can oblige without breaking the bank, and (3) they represent a material, concrete contribution toward the couple's new life together. I know the last one is a bit passe now that many people cohabitate before marriage, but that's the idea anyway. If I got an invitation asking me to pay for an evening of mediocre catered food and chicken dances, it'd go in the trash and I'd probably write snarky things on facebook. SO THERE.
Eggplant Wizard fucked around with this message at 15:04 on Nov 11, 2012 |
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Nov 11, 2012 14:23
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"Only" 125 dollars? Holy poo poo. How about don't spend $15k on a wedding if you can't afford it. I'm doing about the same amount of guests for about 2/3 less.
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Nov 11, 2012 14:36
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I am in NYC, and the truth is - you can do it cheap, but you may not get everything you want. Consider Sunday , or mornings (brunch food is cheaper, and may require less servers.) Venues can offer discounts for unpopular days/seasons. You just have to do a lot of legwork. I had a BBQ-catered Saturday night wedding for 100 people for about 10k inclusive, in the NYC area. It was at the Queens County Farm Museum, and it was awesome.
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Nov 11, 2012 14:50
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my darling feet posted:So I've been engaged since June, and now it's becoming rapidly clear the venue that I want, and he likes, is out of budget because bringing in catering is painfully steep. It's a museum and nonprofit community garden, which is wonderful because I work in NPs, and anything that helps us guys ... You need to shop around to different venues. We're in the middle phase of planning our wedding and just decided on a place. For a while we were looking at the same boat as you. So many places wanted you to spend MINIMUM $12-15k for a Saturday night event. We found a few other venues that wanted somewhere in the range of $1500-3000 just for the space rental, and those were on the cheaper end as we immediately rejected more expensive options. These are things like local environmental centers or similar outdoor-oriented non-profits. Now, understandably these places are looking at the events as fundraisers, but it can get a little high. However, we found a restaurant/B&B that will be a LOT cheaper, mostly because they don't have ANY site rental fee, and they don't have real minimums for Saturday night events. Basically, we're buying out the restaurant for the night, and they're betting that some of our guests will stay in their accommodations. Not sure if there's anything around you like that, but basically, keep looking. Wedding venues (and the industry in general) thrive on setting minimums and then upselling people to meet those minimum fees. Unfortunately there are enough rich people and/or fiscally irresponsible couples to support high prices like that. Don't give into high fees. If all you really do care about is having a place to dance, good food, and a party with family and friends, then go rent out the local volunteer fire hall or something and dump the savings into a good caterer and decorations.
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Nov 11, 2012 17:04
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Eggplant Wizard posted:If I got an invitation asking me to pay for an evening of mediocre catered food and chicken dances, it'd go in the trash and I'd probably write snarky things on facebook. SO THERE. Well, it was the first I'd heard of anyone here doing it too. Surprisingly he was following the lead of one of our bosses who did the exact same thing a number of years back. Neither wanted to have to go into debt to pay for it, I guess. The guy who's getting married soon already owns a house and lives with his fiancee so they hardly need anything in the domestic goods department. I doubt they'd not allow family/friends to come if they couldn't afford the meal ticket price really, they'd rather just keep costs down instead of having gifts they don't need. I have heard of bridesmaids being turfed out of bridal parties for not being able to afford the dress though, so I don't know. I personally come from a culture where people are expected to give cash at a wedding as a present, not physical gifts, so I don't see the former situation as tacky. Is it really all that different from asking for a contribution to the house fund/honeymoon fund? Hell, our neighbors from back home actually sent an envelope for the cash gift with the wedding invite in case we couldn't attend, so we could send them money regardless. I had a brief moment of culture clash ambivalence about that (since we all live in Australia now and cash is tacky) before I realised I'd rather the same myself if it were me. Mind you in the same workplace we've got a radiologist who paid for a $250k wedding in India for his daughter - the man had started saving for it from the day she was born. And it isn't like Australia is cheap on weddings in general - apparently the average cost here runs in the region of $40-45k. It's ridiculous. If you wouldn't pay that kind of money for that kind of meal, why should anyone? Why do people agree to pay such high prices just for what effectively amounts to venue hire and a substandard meal? My sister in law booked her reception under the pretext of a birthday party to avoid the instant 15-30% markup on venue hire whenever someone mentions the word 'wedding'. One friend nearly had a stroke when he found out how much wedding cakes cost. "Is it made with special rare imported Wedding flour and magic Wedding sugar?!" He ended up allowing his fiancee to hire a wedding planner who was contracted to a strict budget and paid by the hour. This is why we're doing an afternoon picnic thing in a public park if possible. Failing which, eloping. gently caress it. Marriage celebrants not putting prices on their websites already drives me up the wall, I doubt I'd be able to personally cope with organizing (or stomach paying for) a wedding industry typical wedding. And if my feelings and finances matter at all to the people nearest and dearest to me in my life they wouldn't have it any other way either. The most genius thing I've seen done to cost-cut on a wedding has got to be putting the entirety of the venue hire and catering on salary packaging. If you work in the public hospital system here you can usually spend a portion of (and up to the entire amount of) your before-tax income on certain categories--notably venue hire, catering for 'an event', and accommodation. One guy at the hospital I used to work at did exactly that for his wedding (just quietly of course--that clause was probably never intended to be used in that way) and effectively paid $0 tax on a year's worth of salary. Insane, but brilliant. He probably made money on the wedding after accounting for all the gifts and tax savings.
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Nov 11, 2012 23:02
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nyerf posted:Well, it was the first I'd heard of anyone here doing it too. Surprisingly he was following the lead of one of our bosses who did the exact same thing a number of years back. Neither wanted to have to go into debt to pay for it, I guess. The guy who's getting married soon already owns a house and lives with his fiancee so they hardly need anything in the domestic goods department. I doubt they'd not allow family/friends to come if they couldn't afford the meal ticket price really, they'd rather just keep costs down instead of having gifts they don't need. I have heard of bridesmaids being turfed out of bridal parties for not being able to afford the dress though, so I don't know. I personally come from a culture where people are expected to give cash at a wedding as a present, not physical gifts, so I don't see the former situation as tacky. Is it really all that different from asking for a contribution to the house fund/honeymoon fund? Hell, our neighbors from back home actually sent an envelope for the cash gift with the wedding invite in case we couldn't attend, so we could send them money regardless. I had a brief moment of culture clash ambivalence about that (since we all live in Australia now and cash is tacky) before I realised I'd rather the same myself if it were me. Oooooh yeah culture makes a huge difference. In the U.S. for a lot of people even asking for contributions to a honeymoon/house fund is quite tacky. Honestly cash as a present makes a lot more sense, especially now, but asking for it specifically is Just Not Done. Even mentioning the registry on the invitation can get people sniffy and weird if they're really old fashioned/inclined to be offended anyway. Sending an envelope with the invitation with the suggestion that it should come back full of cash would be totally 
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Nov 11, 2012 23:09
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my darling feet posted:What are we honestly supposed to be doing at this point??? I also got engaged in June and began scouting locations last weekend. I was aware of how stupid expensive weddings (especially in NE Jersey) are, but it really hit me on another level when I was actually in the venues and looking at the pricing lists and imagining that much $ being spent on one day! (btw, I'm also looking at community centers for 120 people and work in NP). A good answer to your question is legwork. Your #1 pick might not happen for you. However, if you really want to get married there, its most likely an option for you to negotiate. You probably don't need as much food/options as they want to sell you, maybe suggest subbing in less expensive items? Our strategy for budgeting so far is to have the wedding on a sunday, supply our own alcohol, cut way down on appetizers and desserts, and mention how we are very motivated to keep our budget low and make substitutions. Hopefully it will make a significant difference. I'm interested in hearing how things turn out for you. Personally, I'm in a weird space right now, feeling torn between going with wedding industry flow or rebelling. My parents are willing to pay for a standard wedding- its something they always assumed they'd do and they've been saving for it. Doing something "not nice enough" or not inviting all the relatives they want would be unpleasant for them. I'm aware their willingness to pay makes me lucky in one way, however I'm not totally comfortable with them spending so much money on extraneous carving stations and floral arrangements. And, yeah, I feel a little self-conscious and silly having a big ole wedding when I'm not totally on board.
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Nov 12, 2012 03:28
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Oh hey guys I got married this weekend.  
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Nov 12, 2012 15:25
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Congrats! That last one is sweet. Where was it taken?
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Nov 13, 2012 02:29
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I got married at the Virginia Aquarium. They have this hallway full of mirrors and sea life photographs. We took a ton of photos in there.
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Nov 14, 2012 01:05
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I just realized I never posted anything from my wedding back in July! Sometimes it's just awesome when everything goes absolutely perfectly, and tons of people commented we were the most stress-free bride and groom they'd ever seen. We just didn't micromanage everything and just kind of went with the flow of things.   Trying to find some more good ones that aren't giant up-close pictures of me and my wife. Also, our honeymoon was awesome as gently caress: Iceland:  Ladakh:  Kathmandu:  New Delhi: 
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Nov 14, 2012 15:12
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Just got a setting very similar to this: http://www.bluenile.com/diamond-engagement-ring-platinum_17373 Gonna stick a 0.95 Carat, D Color SI2 stone in there. Gonna go down Christmas eve at her grandmother's house. Wish me luck.
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Nov 17, 2012 22:41
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Anyone know of any reasonable priced places to buy dresses online? Like ModCloth, Lily Boutique...those kind of places.
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Nov 18, 2012 01:47
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Sab0921 posted:Just got a setting very similar to this: That's a sweet setting, I personally don't like all the stones on the sides but I like the twisty ones like that. Be sure to post a pic when you get yours! I'm still waiting on mine, I hope they don't actually take until the 13th. Good luck Sab! I'm doing it just a couple days before you, and poo poo's starting to get real.
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Nov 19, 2012 00:01
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Toriori posted:Anyone know of any reasonable priced places to buy dresses online? Like ModCloth, Lily Boutique...those kind of places. Wedding dresses? Modcloth would only work for something short and quirky! My rehearsal dinner dress is from modcloth. I'm addicted to that place. You can try Etsy? And people kept talking about J Crew having a line of nice, simple dresses.
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Nov 19, 2012 07:50
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quote:Anyone know of any reasonable priced places to buy dresses online? Like ModCloth, Lily Boutique...those kind of places. I've seen really cute things on https://shopruche.com. A lot of weird vintage but also quite a few ADORABLE things that could work for a rehearsal dinner or a non-traditional wedding dress.
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Nov 19, 2012 19:42
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marauderthirty posted:That's a sweet setting, I personally don't like all the stones on the sides but I like the twisty ones like that. Be sure to post a pic when you get yours! I'm still waiting on mine, I hope they don't actually take until the 13th. poo poo is real when you actually buy the drat thing. I wasn't a fan of the pave setting in general, but this looked so good, and has kind of a flower shape when viewed from the side that I immediately thought it was perfect for her. I will post a pic, estimated delivery is Dec. 10th. Can't wait to grab it. All there is to do in between is study for finals..... Good luck to you too man. I hope it goes well. Do you know how you're going to do it?
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Nov 19, 2012 20:10
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She said yes! Well I was fairly certain she was going to say it anyways. But I ordered this purple spinel ring from a guy overseas and the UPS data wasn't updating. So we're just chilling on our day off when the UPS guy shows up Uh oh... So I sign for it and of course, she's like "Who's the package from?" The first thing I think of is "Oh, probably from my parents." (probably from my parents?!? Supplements, lifting chalk, dead rats, anything would have been better!) "Aren't you going to open it?" "Oh...nah, I'm saving the universe (planetside 2 beta). No rest for the weary ha-ha" I can feel her eyes boring into my skull. Finally, she get's up and goes to the bathroom and I frantically rip it apart. This is the most well wrapped and secured package I have ever gotten. I probably dulled 2 knives and a pair of scissors trying to get it open. "So, bad news is the mailman wasn't supposed to come today. But the good news is I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"  So we're just doing the courthouse in a month; we just moved to San Francisco and our family is back on the east coast (moving back to Philly come August incidentally). I do have a question! She has an ivory/cream dress and is getting a purple belt, earrings and shoes to go with the ring. I only have a navy suit. Will I look like an rear end trying to wear complimentary colors or should I spring for a new/different colored suit and go with a cream shirt/purple tie? Or something else?
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Nov 20, 2012 02:15
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