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Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side

Babby Thatcher posted:

Traces by casi_casi [Reviews - 2]
When corruption no longer shocks, drugs no longer numb, and darkness no longer soothes, men become desperate, reckless extremes of themselves. The secrets behind one man's life falling into another man's hands are revealed, exploited, and overlapped, and it falls to DCI Raúl González to trace the threads.

Rated: 16+
Categories: General/Unspecified
Characters: Andrés Iniesta, Bojan Krkić, Carles Puyol, David Beckham, Fabio Cannavaro, Fernando Gago, Gerard Piqué, Gonzalo Higuaín, Guti, Iker Casillas, Julien Faubert, Lionel Messi, Martín Cáceres, Míchel Salgado, Miguel Torres, Pep Guardiola, Raúl González, Royston Drenthe, Rubén de la Red, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Sergio Ramos, Thierry Henry, Xavi Hernández
Genre: AU, Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 79392 - Hits: 9590
Complete?: Yes - Published: Feb 17, 2011 - Last Updated: Feb 17, 2011

oh my god

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Babby Thatcher
May 3, 2004

concept by my buddy kyle
mods rename me Ruben sighed as he unsheathed M. Diarra

Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side

Babby Thatcher posted:

mods rename me Ruben sighed as he unsheathed M. Diarra

this but rename me DCI Raúl González

Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side
The Force is a group of superheroes determined to save the city of Despertia from the unfathomable and relentless attacks of villains Raúl and Guti. But sometimes it is the heroes who need to be saved from their own fatal flaws.

Rated: 16+
Categories: General/Unspecified
Characters: Álvaro Arbeloa, Cesc Fàbregas, Daniel Agger, David Silva, David Villa, Didier Drogba, Fernando Gago, Fernando Torres, Frank Lampard, Gonzalo Higuaín, Guti, Iker Casillas, John Terry, José Mourinho, Pepe Reina, Rafa Benítez, Raúl González, Rubén de la Red, Sami Hyypiä, Santi Cazorla, Sergio Agüero, Sergio Ramos, Steven Gerrard, Xabi Alonso, Xavi Hernández
Genre: AU, Slash
Language: English

Babby Thatcher
May 3, 2004

concept by my buddy kyle

Paperhouse posted:

The Force is a group of superheroes determined to save the city of Despertia from the unfathomable and relentless attacks of villains Raúl and Guti. But sometimes it is the heroes who need to be saved from their own fatal flaws.

Rated: 16+
Categories: General/Unspecified
Characters: Álvaro Arbeloa, Cesc Fàbregas, Daniel Agger, David Silva, David Villa, Didier Drogba, Fernando Gago, Fernando Torres, Frank Lampard, Gonzalo Higuaín, Guti, Iker Casillas, John Terry, José Mourinho, Pepe Reina, Rafa Benítez, Raúl González, Rubén de la Red, Sami Hyypiä, Santi Cazorla, Sergio Agüero, Sergio Ramos, Steven Gerrard, Xabi Alonso, Xavi Hernández
Genre: AU, Slash
Language: English

I don't think it's at all healthy to be obsessed with players from loads of big clubs and also comic book superheroes. that's pretty hosed up, imo

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Babby Thatcher posted:

Traces by casi_casi [Reviews - 2]
When corruption no longer shocks, drugs no longer numb, and darkness no longer soothes, men become desperate, reckless extremes of themselves. The secrets behind one man's life falling into another man's hands are revealed, exploited, and overlapped, and it falls to DCI Raúl González to trace the threads.

Rated: 16+
Categories: General/Unspecified
Characters: Andrés Iniesta, Bojan Krkić, Carles Puyol, David Beckham, Fabio Cannavaro, Fernando Gago, Gerard Piqué, Gonzalo Higuaín, Guti, Iker Casillas, Julien Faubert, Lionel Messi, Martín Cáceres, Míchel Salgado, Miguel Torres, Pep Guardiola, Raúl González, Royston Drenthe, Rubén de la Red, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Sergio Ramos, Thierry Henry, Xavi Hernández
Genre: AU, Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 79392 - Hits: 9590
Complete?: Yes - Published: Feb 17, 2011 - Last Updated: Feb 17, 2011

Seventy-nine thousand, three hundred and ninety two words.

That's about 320 paperback sized pages.

There are millions of books that are not this long.

Most dissertations are not this long.

Someone has written a novel-length slash fan fiction about Barcelona and Real Madrid players being detective and criminals in an alternate universe.

Holy poo poo.

PirateBob
Jun 14, 2003
He had no idea, no idea at all, when did socks – stupid, smelly socks – become such a fascinating, sexy thing. Maybe it was the first time he saw Samir pulling them on slowly in the dressing room, and had a strong urge to tackle him, take off all of his clothes (well, except for the stupid socks) and have his wicked way with him. But probably not, maybe it was when Samir, who undoubtedly was not as innocent as he pretended to be, decided to put his socks on before he put on anything else, and he, the level-headed captain, had to watch him, in all his naked glory, bending over and pulling the long socks on, looking so drat delectable with his arse pushed towards him, so inviting, that Cesc had a hard time not to move just a little bit closer and touch him any way he could.

...

"Leave them on," Cesc whispers and blushes too hotly for someone who's just hosed him and whispered dirty encouragements into his ear.

"They look silly," Samir protests.

"They turn me on," Cesc admits.

And wow, he never would have thought…

"So it's just the socks? Think you'd still want to if I weren't wearing them?"

Cesc smiles, "how about an experiment? You can take them off…and see what happens."

"How about another experiment? I'll take them off, tie you to the bed with them and ride you as hard as I can? Do you think you'll still want me to do that even if I don't wear them?"

Surprisingly enough, yes, he does.

TwoDogs1Cup
May 28, 2008

DOUGIE DOUGIE DOUGIE! MY LOVE, HE MAKES MY EMPTY HEART FULL! DOUGIE! THE BEST FOREVER THE BEST DOUGIEEE! <3 <3 - TwoDougies1Cup
What in the gently caress

sircozzie
Jul 8, 2011

Release the Meerkat
Considering how the same footballers star across multiple stories, do they have consistent characterisations across the novels? The same hopes, fears and motives?

irlZaphod
Mar 26, 2004

Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda

Oh my god this is not what i read this thread for

The Finn
Aug 27, 2004

إنه أصلع في الأسفل، كما تعلم

irlZaphod posted:

Oh my god this is not what i read this thread for

Yeah me either, I saw 20 new posts and now I loving want to kill myself. Let's avoid fanfiction from now because I honestly can't take it.

luvd
Sep 29, 2011


don't like omelettes but i'll eat crepes all day long
Once was kinda funny but oh god no.

8raz
Jun 22, 2007


He's Scouse, He's Sound.
facebook.com/troll.football is still the bestest

if you love the rage faces, you'll love this page!!

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Eric Cantonese
Dec 21, 2004

You should hear my accent.
From an AC Milan forum...

quote:

quote:


WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! :(

Since when Milan have blue jersey?

You are in wrong forum, man!

irlZaphod
Mar 26, 2004

Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda

8raz posted:

facebook.com/troll.football is still the bestest

if you love the rage faces, you'll love this page!!


Bring back the slash fic

Ninpo
Aug 6, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

irlZaphod posted:

Bring back the slash fic

no don't

crappledan
Dec 17, 2009

Serious Title Contenders
kill everyone

Duncan Sperguson
Apr 21, 2010

TyChan posted:

Re: Brendan Rodgers from non-Liverpool forums:

This is old, but I'm pretty sure this is on the grandoldteam forums, since ChicoAzul is a reg on there and is a known troll. He wasn't being serious.

irlZaphod
Mar 26, 2004

Kiss the Joycon to Kiss Zelda



I'm not sure if he means he respects that Sterling broke Watson's leg, or that he said sorry on Twitter

luvd
Sep 29, 2011


don't like omelettes but i'll eat crepes all day long


This image host is SA okay, yeah? It was too big for Imgur.

Wirth1000
May 12, 2010

#essereFerrari

luvd posted:

This image host is SA okay, yeah? It was too big for Imgur.

Yah, minus.com owns plus the benefit that its not reddit-centric.

luvd
Sep 29, 2011


don't like omelettes but i'll eat crepes all day long
HAHA brother. let me tell you something. THE ONLY REASON Roman found out about this guy, is because he destroyed us with a hattrick. Since then, he want this guy. And to be honest, Falcao was never really that on top of the Transfer Market player.. until he destroyed Chelsea, since then, his popularity increased so much. #KTBFFH

Wirth1000 posted:

Yah, minus.com owns plus the benefit that its not reddit-centric.

Excellent.

Foehammer007
Dec 7, 2011

by Pragmatica
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story/_/id/1232183/snoop-lion-says-he%27s-mulling-buying-stake-in-glasgow-celtic?cc=5901

Snoop Lion, ya'll.

8raz
Jun 22, 2007


He's Scouse, He's Sound.

luvd posted:



This image host is SA okay, yeah? It was too big for Imgur.

Neither of these belong here!

Eric Cantonese
Dec 21, 2004

You should hear my accent.

EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

So I went to RAWK to find some hilarious anger at Rafa going to Chelsea :qq: but they were annoyingly civil about it (for once). Instead lets have some from the Chelsea side:

quote:

Lets start the BLUE ULTRAS if he joins us and try to get him out ASAP! Even of violence has to be used!

quote:

Just great- Benitez and Torres finally reunited..
well this season is officially over now, let's hope next season will be better..

quote:

I don't care what he's won in the past, I don't want him anywhere near our club and I will be utterly disgusted and sick if we appoint him, even on a temporary basis.

The thought of seeing his smug, fat face and listening to his inane ramblings sitting at a press conference in a Chelsea tracksuit is enough to make me start watching Rugby instead.

quote:

FAT SPANISH WAITER! YOU'RE JUST A FAT SPANISH WAITER! FAAAAT SPANIIIISH WAAAIIIITER! YOU'RE JUST A FAT SPANISH WAITER!!!

Here are the reasons I don't want him anywhere near us...
His quote that effectively said Chelsea fans are plastic because of the flags.
Where he accused Drogba of constantly cheating (In which Didi responded by destroying LFC in the next match)
His transfer policy - buy tonnes of players, and 1 or 2 might end up being decent
His meltdown at inter- he blamed an ageing squad- Jose won the treble with the same Inter team soon after
His embarrassingly poor displays in post match interviews- in particular the infamous '27000 speech'
He's a fat spanish waiter
The fact he loves LFC and they love him
Useless record in the EPL
Clearly taking this job for the £££££££££££££££
That's all I can think of at the moment.

I can't help but think this is all to do with f**king Torres.

They really are quite angry about him.

Rycalawre
Nov 6, 2009

EvilHawk posted:

So I went to RAWK to find some hilarious anger at Rafa going to Chelsea :qq: but they were annoyingly civil about it (for once).

Absolutely numb since I heard the news. I can't eat or drink, and most likely won't be able to sleep tonight.

Lamont Cranston
Sep 1, 2006

how do i shot foam

thought he was more about young girls tbh

edit: nah wasn't me http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=BSC_Young_Boys&oldid=524183489

Lamont Cranston fucked around with this message at 23:05 on Nov 21, 2012

Ninpo
Aug 6, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
Spelled Savile wrong too, bad photoshop, 2/10

4 inch cut no femmes
May 31, 2011
We know what we are
We know what we are
FERNANDO TORRES FC
We know what we are

lets go swimming
Sep 6, 2012

EAT THE CHEESE, NICHOLSON!

EvilHawk posted:

So I went to RAWK to find some hilarious anger at Rafa going to Chelsea :qq: but they were annoyingly civil about it (for once). Instead lets have some from the Chelsea side

Is this :qq: for you?

quote:

I wept over the Rafa portrait I have next to my bed when I heard the news. After going for a long walk I realized that Rafa is just doing what is best for him and forgave him in my heart.

However, I will shed no more tears for Rafa Benitez, he is now the enemy in spite of any deep passion I may feel for him.

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
It will be very interesting to see what the Pro-Ferguson, Anti-Benitez English media and FA conglomerate have in store already to address Rafa's return setting out short- and long-term goals together with a number of key targets.

For the duration of Benitez's tenure will they have weekly strategy meetings bringing together football editors from the principal media outlets, politicians, bishops, entrepreneurs, daytime television presenters, bloggers and FA impresarios?

We saw how the system ran him out of town when he publicly called Ferguson a cheat and then went on to utterly destroy him at Old Trafford 1-4.

Will Abramovich support his new man?

EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

onoflalks posted:

Is this :qq: for you?

Well I was trying to avoid the obviously fake ones but that made me laugh

Ninpo
Aug 6, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Sneaks McDevious
Jul 29, 2010

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

tempted to say wrong thread

sircozzie
Jul 8, 2011

Release the Meerkat

julian assflange posted:

tempted to say wrong thread

Yeah it's pretty amazing

Ninpo
Aug 6, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Empress Brosephine
Mar 31, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
is Baloltelli a typo or a wordplay

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

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sircozzie
Jul 8, 2011

Release the Meerkat

Definately wrong thread

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