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Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

rolleyes posted:

My company has just been infected with Kaizen. I can only hope that those in charge of it centre on the methodology rather than just emailing buzzwords to everyone.

As with any methodology that is to be implemented, one can only hope that the unattractive things are used together with the attractive things to gain the real benefit.
SCRUM has no hierarchy or planning that goes further then the next sprint allowing for agility but adding to uncertainty, PRINCE2 is one big papermill allowing for tracability but adding lots of work.
Kaizen seems to be no exception, looking at the 5 main elements:
- Management teamwork
- Increased labor responsibilities
- Increased management morale
- Quality circles
- Management suggestions for labor improvement

In short, if you want to have a successful implementation, your management should think they are servants to the workers and give workers real responsibility for quality.

Is the management in your company ready for that?

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rolleyes
Nov 16, 2006

Sometimes you have to roll the hard... two?
They seem to want to use it as a business process improvement project rather than a 'management philosophy' so I'm going to go with "probably not".

Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

rolleyes posted:

They seem to want to use it as a business process improvement project rather than a 'management philosophy' so I'm going to go with "probably not".

Gah!

"Hey, our processes suck and we are losing money."
"Yeah, our competitors seem to do much better / have higher stock prices."
"How can we solve our problem?"
"Which one?"

Even at the start of these kind of discussions people are not talking about the same. What for one guy is a problem (low stock price), might be completely different from another guys problem (being out competed).
From what I commonly see with these kind of process improvement things is that is generally can be summarized in: "overhead costs vs turnover is out of balance, we lose money because we make low quality products, our employees hate us and stockholders want to see blood". Management will have to be humble to be able to see the real problem. How did the company get in such dire straits? Who was at the helm when all this happens?

So instead of some proper soul searching and a fitting mea culpa, some method is found that is the new or old hype and this is followed religiously but edited to only include the "fitting" or "low effort, high turnout" parts. This pretty vital decision what to include and what to take out... is made by the same idiots who got the company in this mess in the first place!

You are not to be envied.

E the Shaggy
Mar 29, 2010
I wanted to swing by this thread to share my story of this year.

I was laid off in January, got a temp job in April that lasted three weeks, and was unemployed until November of this year, where I got a job in a new city.

This year was TOUGH. I was never in financial straits, thank God, but the psychological stress of going to interview after interview was soul shattering (I must have gone to at least a dozen job interviews, with one position that had interviews lasting for around two months and it came down to me and one other person, and the other person got it :negative:)

Anyway, I had originally grown up and worked in a really demanding city (DC) and when the opportunity arose for my gf to move for a master's program, I jumped at the chance to move with her. After living here for two months, I got a job that paid pretty close to what I was making, but since living expenses are so much lower here, I'm taking home WAY more.

I've been working at my job for about a month now and things are going great. My boss talked with me after three weeks of my start date and told me how great a job I was doing. I've NEVER had that happen before in any of my jobs post college.

For the first time in a long time in my career, I'm happy. It can happen. I'm as surprised as anyone.

Miss-Bomarc
Aug 1, 2009
There's a guy I work with who's so terrifyingly shy that he avoids initiating a conversation, even when he actually needs to talk to someone. He'll tiptoe up to my cube, stand in the doorway, slooooooowly inch his way into my peripheral vision, desperately hoping that I'll recognize he's there and start speaking to him. If he's in a real hurry he'll vaguely paw at the wall, and then as soon as you turn your head and say "oh hey Joe what's up" he's like "oh, oh i'm-i-i'm really sorry to bother you, but I just need..." like he expects you to punch him in the nuts or something.

I've taken to pretending I don't know he's there, just to see whether he can work up the nerve to actually start talking to me first. It hasn't worked, because he's got all sorts of passive-aggressive routines; throat-clearing, tapping papers on the desk, pretending he cares what's on my bookshelf ("I guess this is some sort of award", he said once, looking at a paperweight my grandmother bought me. Not talking to me, of course, just talking and I happened to be present, right?)

Miss-Bomarc fucked around with this message at 05:32 on Dec 7, 2012

GI Joe jobs
Jun 25, 2005

🎅🤜🤛👷
The shy guy sounds difficult to work with. Can you give him advice on basic office-etiquette, or get his boss to do so?

The flip side of that is probably more annoying; I'm constantly being interrupted. I'm most productive when everyone is gone. We tried using colored cups to indicate your status but those failed in a few hours.

My new headphones just arrived, I can't wait to not hear booming personal conversations!

Cacahuate
Feb 21, 2007
OMG! (•_•) You are a peanut!
There's an ugly lady who sits next to me who always comes an hour late and kisses hello everybody at my department. We're like 30 people! She kisses everybody on the cheek and makes small talk, every single morning.

What happened to just saying "good morning!" at the air and sitting down at your desk? That's what I do.

sbaldrick
Jul 19, 2006
Driven by Hate

Miss-Bomarc posted:

There's a guy I work with who's so terrifyingly shy that he avoids initiating a conversation, even when he actually needs to talk to someone. He'll tiptoe up to my cube, stand in the doorway, slooooooowly inch his way into my peripheral vision, desperately hoping that I'll recognize he's there and start speaking to him. If he's in a real hurry he'll vaguely paw at the wall, and then as soon as you turn your head and say "oh hey Joe what's up" he's like "oh, oh i'm-i-i'm really sorry to bother you, but I just need..." like he expects you to punch him in the nuts or something.

I've taken to pretending I don't know he's there, just to see whether he can work up the nerve to actually start talking to me first. It hasn't worked, because he's got all sorts of passive-aggressive routines; throat-clearing, tapping papers on the desk, pretending he cares what's on my bookshelf ("I guess this is some sort of award", he said once, looking at a paperweight my grandmother bought me. Not talking to me, of course, just talking and I happened to be present, right?)

I can honestly be that shy, I especially was when I first started my job. How long has he worked their, as it could be be that kind of case.

rolleyes
Nov 16, 2006

Sometimes you have to roll the hard... two?

sbaldrick posted:

I can honestly be that shy, I especially was when I first started my job. How long has he worked their, as it could be be that kind of case.

And is it "shy around you because you're a woman" or "shy around everyone". Because there could be very different things going on, depending on which one it is.

MC Fruit Stripe
Nov 26, 2002

around and around we go

Miss-Bomarc posted:

There's a guy I work with who's so terrifyingly shy that he avoids initiating a conversation
Your options seem to be

1) tell him that he needs to say your name to get your attention, that he doesn't need to tip toe
2) out passive-aggressive him by being wholly unable to notice his presence until he is speaking to you

1 is probably more mature, but 2 would be pretty hilarious.

I can kinda relate. Not nearly that bad, but I do have a guy at work who slinks up with as much confidence as a battered child and begins every conversation with "uh, stripe, can i uh, ask you something?"

Radio Talmudist posted:

Despite the fact that the department is brand new and has a total of 3 employees, one of whom was appointed as our manager, the CEO decided to saddle us with a director as well
Oh man, ouch to that manager.

MC Fruit Stripe fucked around with this message at 17:38 on Dec 7, 2012

Radio Talmudist
Sep 29, 2008
So my department at the Law Firm I work at (as a lowly clerk) has reached new heights of dysfunction in the past few months.

Despite the fact that the department is brand new and has a total of 3 employees, one of whom was appointed as our manager, the CEO decided to saddle us with a director as well...who sits in our office with us. I have a director AND a manager, all of whom are within 15 feet of me.

Oh, and this director sucks. She is beyond awful. Before becoming our director she headed one of the other departments in the firm, in fact the most profitable section of the entire company. But apparently she was so grating that people kept leaving in droves. I can see why. If I could pithily summarize her managerial style, I'd describe her as a "pin ball." She does 15 different things at the same goddamn time, jumping from thing to thing every half hour, resulting in us getting less work done at the end of the day. Of course, every once in a while she comes up with a good idea - pin balls do score every once in a while - but these moments are far too few and far between.

To add salt in the wound, in order to make space for her in our office my very cute office mate switched her desk for our director's old room. She was a good friend and a great person to spend the day with, and now I see her...once a week? Bah.

Miss-Bomarc
Aug 1, 2009

Gullous posted:

The shy guy sounds difficult to work with. Can you give him advice on basic office-etiquette, or get his boss to do so?
He's the kind of scientist/engineer that causes you to understand why people make jokes like "an extrovtert engineer looks at your shoes when he talks to you".

And he's actually quite articulate and outgoing...in email. Apparently, though, someone got pissed off at him because he would only use email, and many of the Sixties-holdover dinosaurs we work with think that email is something their secretary should be reading to them out loud (not that we have secretaries anymore, which is another thing they're perpetually angry about, but I digress) and he got yelled at for "refusing to talk to anyone" so now he just does this sneaking-around thing.

And he is genuinely good at his job, and useful to have working with us, it's just so ridiculous to try and communicate with him.

NomNomNom
Jul 20, 2008
Please Work Out

Radio Talmudist posted:

Despite the fact that the department is brand new and has a total of 3 employees, one of whom was appointed as our manager, the CEO decided to saddle us with a director as well...

Trying working at a five person company... with 3 VP's. Cmon guys, you can't all have fancy titles. Before my girlfriend and I started working here it was just them.

good jovi
Dec 11, 2000

'm pro-dickgirl, and I VOTE!

NomNomNom posted:

Trying working at a five person company... with 3 VP's. Cmon guys, you can't all have fancy titles. Before my girlfriend and I started working here it was just them.

That said, even if there's only three of you, these things do matter. Especially if your business involves dealing with other businesses, people care about titles. Ones that to most of us seem inflated can actually help the company, rather than just being ego stroking, or something cynically handed out instead of actual raises.

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.
Yesterday I had a meeting where we discussed TPS reports.

I was biting my tongue so hard trying not to ask about coversheets.

Taliesyn
Apr 5, 2007

Aquatic Giraffe posted:

Yesterday I had a meeting where we discussed TPS reports.

I was biting my tongue so hard trying not to ask about coversheets.

I'll admit: every time I've designed a database application or some reports for a company, I've found a way to create a report with the initials TPS.

It's only been actually noticed once, and the boss who noticed it thought it was hilarious.

GI Joe jobs
Jun 25, 2005

🎅🤜🤛👷

Miss-Bomarc posted:

He's the kind of scientist/engineer that causes you to understand why people make jokes like "an extrovtert engineer looks at your shoes when he talks to you".

And he's actually quite articulate and outgoing...in email. Apparently, though, someone got pissed off at him because he would only use email, and many of the Sixties-holdover dinosaurs we work with think that email is something their secretary should be reading to them out loud (not that we have secretaries anymore, which is another thing they're perpetually angry about, but I digress) and he got yelled at for "refusing to talk to anyone" so now he just does this sneaking-around thing.

And he is genuinely good at his job, and useful to have working with us, it's just so ridiculous to try and communicate with him.

I know exactly what you're talking about... What stage of career is this person? Is there hope of recovery? What obligation do you have to help him? If you have any interest and time to help improve his communication skills, why not point him to relevant company-offered training and get his manager to track it on his PM?


I work with a girl who's ridiculously easy to frighten. I walk up to her chair at ~noon and say her name in a normal voice/volume. Every time she gasps and jumps up, just-saw-a-ghost expression. Que an explanation of her surprise. I do my best to approach from the front or side and announce myself from afar but it doesn't help.

Miss-Bomarc
Aug 1, 2009

Gullous posted:

I know exactly what you're talking about... What stage of career is this person?
Oh, well along. It's not like he's scared of being out in the Big World instead of the soft, safe womb of college. This is pretty much what he's always been like.

And I think I may have come across a little strong, in my initial post, in the interests of humor. It's not outright insulting, it's more of an amusing idiosyncracy. (Like I said, it's the old joke about "he looks at your shoes".) Once the conversation actually starts it goes okay, it's just obvious that he has trouble with the whole "how to start talking to someone" thing.

It's probably one of those traps that high-functioning autistics get themselves into, where they're terrified of being yelled at and they've fixated on The Rules as a way to avoid transgressing some social norm, but now they're in a bind where there are two conflicting Rules they're trying to follow ("don't interrupt people when they're working" versus "always talk in person, never talk by email")

GI Joe jobs
Jun 25, 2005

🎅🤜🤛👷

Miss-Bomarc posted:

Oh, well along. It's not like he's scared of being out in the Big World instead of the soft, safe womb of college. This is pretty much what he's always been like.

And I think I may have come across a little strong, in my initial post, in the interests of humor. It's not outright insulting, it's more of an amusing idiosyncracy. (Like I said, it's the old joke about "he looks at your shoes".) Once the conversation actually starts it goes okay, it's just obvious that he has trouble with the whole "how to start talking to someone" thing.

It's probably one of those traps that high-functioning autistics get themselves into, where they're terrified of being yelled at and they've fixated on The Rules as a way to avoid transgressing some social norm, but now they're in a bind where there are two conflicting Rules they're trying to follow ("don't interrupt people when they're working" versus "always talk in person, never talk by email")

Understood, I guess it's just part of the challenge of working with highly technical people. My step mom is privy to some of the direction provided by corporate She claims women and psychology degrees are currently seen as the solution to dealing with the 'looks at your shoes' types.

I've noticed this trend in recent promotions, and it's effective unless the managers have no technical competency. Unfortunately it's somewhat common...

My Rhythmic Crotch
Jan 13, 2011

I am coming to a crossroads in my career... and I thought I would post about it here.

I work for a medical device company that sells radiation therapy "centers" which cost in the neighborhood of 100M-200M USD and take something like 2-3 years to install, test, commission, tweak and tune, etc. There's usually a staff of 10-15 engineers plus 2 managers present at each site, and I'm working on my second one (currently in eastern Europe)... and my job is driving me loving nuts.

* I love the location and they do not want me to stay as my contract was for "3 years or the completion of the installation, whichever comes first" and we should be done in the next 6 months.
* There are plenty of other opportunities in the company but they all involve moving to BFE or working in crap conditions.
* The job requires working nights and weekends.
* We have stack ranking (review scores, and thus raises, must fit some arbitrary bell curve) and it loving sucks, even though somehow I have actually scored somewhat well with it. No matter what score I get, I absolutely hate my job for about a month after each review, and they happen twice a year :(
* My position is basically the max that is possible to achieve in the company without going into management. And management sucks because the pay increase is minimal, but the increase in responsibility and other poo poo is massive.
* Morale is in the shitter and there is no local HR. There is no local management with any authority to change anything in the company. There has never been a single time when someone visited from the corporate mothership and said "I'm here to actually implement changes to make your work conditions better"
* That being said, they are paying me handsomely. However that too will be gone when my contract is up.

The options that I am considering right now:
* Form my own company (web apps, or other independent software development) either here or back in the states.
* Convince my current company to extend my contract.
* Find another company to work for here.
* gently caress off back to the states and find a hopefully good job there.
* Stay with my current company but move to the least awful location where they have a position for me. I really don't want to do this, honestly :(

There is supposed to be a "final meeting" in January where we finally agree on what's going to happen to me. I'm dreading it and wish we could just do it right now. They keep hoping if we delay it that I will change my mind and agree to go wherever they want.

That came out sounding very ranty and spoiled, I'm sorry. I realize that I am lucky to be in a position where I have multiple job opportunities, I'm just feeling pretty stressed.

My Rhythmic Crotch fucked around with this message at 01:18 on Dec 9, 2012

Sparta
Aug 14, 2003

the other white meat
I come here to say one thing:

gently caress you Paychex. My version of flash is too new? gently caress you.

Miss-Bomarc
Aug 1, 2009

Sparta posted:

I come here to say one thing:

gently caress you Paychex. My version of flash is too new? gently caress you.
Ho, ho, ho. We had a situation where we were required to run IE6 and some archaic version of Java because of the custom version-control database that only worked with those versions. We managed to get an industry-standard system (at great expense, which we ate, because none of the customers were willing to pay for it) but some of the older programs had to keep a special computer around with those versions installed. The computers had signs saying "IT ADMIN REQUIRED TO TURN ON" because they didn't want anyone to accidentally allow an auto-update and destroy our ability to look at the old CAD models.

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Taliesyn posted:

I'll admit: every time I've designed a database application or some reports for a company, I've found a way to create a report with the initials TPS.

It's only been actually noticed once, and the boss who noticed it thought it was hilarious.

I automated a process whose name abbreviates to TPS. Although it wasn't commonly known that way initially, I did my best to refer to it as such whenever possible, though I don't think anyone noticed it yet :(.

Arcaeris
Mar 15, 2006
you feed the girls to other girls

:stare:

MC Fruit Stripe posted:

I can kinda relate. Not nearly that bad, but I do have a guy at work who slinks up with as much confidence as a battered child and begins every conversation with "uh, stripe, can i uh, ask you something?"

I can as well. We used to have this ugly, old, ghoulish woman working at my company, and if she needed something, she would come up to your office door and just sit and stare. If you were busy or not looking you wouldn't even notice her there, until you turned your head and BAM! Then you'd have to say hi or she would just keep staring. Like she needed permission to come into your office or say something, like a vampire.

Seriously, imagine the Crypt Keeper standing in your doorway just staring at you until you noticed her there.

Anyway, she got fired because she was a horrible, insubordinate bitch who talked poo poo about everyone behind their back and who everyone hated, so that problem solved itself. v:shobon:v

Problem!
Jan 1, 2007

I am the queen of France.
My office has an engineer who tries so hard not to be that awkward engineer that he's gone to the complete opposite side and is awkward in a different "trying way too hard NOT to be awkward" way. It's like he's listened to how normal people interact and tries to mimic that but doesn't quite get how it works.

Points for effort I guess.

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

A couple months ago I got rid of my company blackberry and switched to checking work email on my personal iphone. This necessitated installing a 3rd party app which insisted I change my phone's password. Whatever, the company I work for is a bit paranoid about security but I didn't think much of it. I set it up, it was easy, and I've been reading work email on my phone like normal for two months. But then today I wake up and there's a suite of apps installed on my phone by the company. Not even made by the third party company that made the security tool which allowed me to check email, it's apps made by my company that do a bunch of poo poo entirely unrelated to security or email. Some of them look useful and some of them aren't, but I don't remember checking any boxes or signing any agreements that allowed the company to install apps on my personal device with no notice. That's... a little hosed up right?

Urit
Oct 22, 2010

Earwicker posted:

A couple months ago I got rid of my company blackberry and switched to checking work email on my personal iphone. This necessitated installing a 3rd party app which insisted I change my phone's password. Whatever, the company I work for is a bit paranoid about security but I didn't think much of it. I set it up, it was easy, and I've been reading work email on my phone like normal for two months. But then today I wake up and there's a suite of apps installed on my phone by the company. Not even made by the third party company that made the security tool which allowed me to check email, it's apps made by my company that do a bunch of poo poo entirely unrelated to security or email. Some of them look useful and some of them aren't, but I don't remember checking any boxes or signing any agreements that allowed the company to install apps on my personal device with no notice. That's... a little hosed up right?

This actually sounds fairly normal. There probably is something in your company's IT policy about it. Also, if your company uses Exchange and they have it set up so that the ActiveSync policies are set in certain ways, they can wipe your personal device remotely, which is a feature supported by ActiveSync.

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

Urit posted:

This actually sounds fairly normal. There probably is something in your company's IT policy about it. Also, if your company uses Exchange and they have it set up so that the ActiveSync policies are set in certain ways, they can wipe your personal device remotely, which is a feature supported by ActiveSync.

That's wonderful. I also noticed that the company's app suite is not removable. I've used my personal iphone to check work email at two previous jobs without any of this kind of poo poo, but maybe I was just lucky.

They did at least send out an email saying they would "begin rolling out" this new app suite, but that was 8 hours after it was already installed.

Solaron
Sep 6, 2007

Whatever the reason you're on Mars, I'm glad you're there, and I wish I was with you.

Urit posted:

This actually sounds fairly normal. There probably is something in your company's IT policy about it. Also, if your company uses Exchange and they have it set up so that the ActiveSync policies are set in certain ways, they can wipe your personal device remotely, which is a feature supported by ActiveSync.

Yep, when we were doing BYOD (bring your own device) at my last company, we had a few months where anyone who separated from the company had their entire phone wiped by the company. They'd lose not just work e-mails, but all personal e-mails and contacts, pictures and more. Caused quite a poo poo storm.

Miss-Bomarc
Aug 1, 2009
I bet the finance people are ecstatic about BYOD, because it means that the employees pay for their own kit and tech support is no longer the company's responsibility. "your phone is acting up? Well, it's your personal device, so you'll have to take it to the Genius Bar. On your own time--after all, it's not the company's phone, is it?"

Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

Miss-Bomarc posted:

I bet the finance people are ecstatic about BYOD, because it means that the employees pay for their own kit and tech support is no longer the company's responsibility. "your phone is acting up? Well, it's your personal device, so you'll have to take it to the Genius Bar. On your own time--after all, it's not the company's phone, is it?"

BYOD also means fewer support staff and presumable happier employees. All for *free*.

Vice President
Jul 4, 2007

I'm number two around here.

Solaron posted:

Yep, when we were doing BYOD (bring your own device) at my last company, we had a few months where anyone who separated from the company had their entire phone wiped by the company. They'd lose not just work e-mails, but all personal e-mails and contacts, pictures and more. Caused quite a poo poo storm.

BYOD is super convenient, unless something bad happens. Like a lawsuit against your company. Suddenly the opposing lawyers find out that someone was doing "work" on a personal device and then the poor employee finds out what a subpoena is and watches their iPhone get seized. But don't worry, you'll get it back in 6-24 months after every lawyer for your company and the plaintiffs get done combing through it.

Happened to several people at my work (they didn't even do anything related to the lawsuit as far as I know but the lawyers could demand copies of emails and work stuff from apparently anyone) and boy was that a shitstorm. Now we have people who won't even give out their cell # to anyone because they're afraid of being the next one caught up in something like that

Sundae
Dec 1, 2005
My company offers BYOD as an optional thing, and I just don't get it.

Why on earth would I...

1) Let you install your lovely monitoring software on my personal phone (blocks content, monitors use, records texts and calls)
2) Agree to only use my personal phone for business use (seriously)
3) Agree to let you wipe it in the event I leave the company (we do that too)
4) Pay for all of it on my own plus add on the mandatory company data plan expenses?

#1 and #4 are especially hilarious to me; there is no benefit at all! They don't subsidize your phone bill, they don't give you extra features, they don't do anything at all except take away your current company phone if you agree to sign up for BYOD. On top of that, they expect me to pay for all their extras? :lol:

Plenty of people signed up, though.

I declined to sign up; not that I could have anyway, though... my phone is from 2002 and is not smart enough to do anything more than receiving and sending ordinary calls.

NomNomNom
Jul 20, 2008
Please Work Out
Dag. At my company they pay for my phone plan when I remember to bring in a copy of the bill and they they're not technically apt enough to install any monitoring software.

sbaldrick
Jul 19, 2006
Driven by Hate

NomNomNom posted:

Dag. At my company they pay for my phone plan when I remember to bring in a copy of the bill and they they're not technically apt enough to install any monitoring software.

I'm so glad where I work "monitoring" involves don't use torrents while at work. Pretty much everyone here watches TV during lunch to the point it slows down the network to nothing for about an hour at lunch. Everyone bitches about it because it's too slow to stream tv shows unless you load them up before hand.

rolleyes
Nov 16, 2006

Sometimes you have to roll the hard... two?

Sundae posted:

My company offers BYOD as an optional thing, and I just don't get it.

Why on earth would I...

1) Let you install your lovely monitoring software on my personal phone (blocks content, monitors use, records texts and calls)
2) Agree to only use my personal phone for business use (seriously)
3) Agree to let you wipe it in the event I leave the company (we do that too)
4) Pay for all of it on my own plus add on the mandatory company data plan expenses?

#1 and #4 are especially hilarious to me; there is no benefit at all! They don't subsidize your phone bill, they don't give you extra features, they don't do anything at all except take away your current company phone if you agree to sign up for BYOD. On top of that, they expect me to pay for all their extras? :lol:

Plenty of people signed up, though.

I declined to sign up; not that I could have anyway, though... my phone is from 2002 and is not smart enough to do anything more than receiving and sending ordinary calls.

I'd love to just sign up to one of these then bring along a Nokia 3210 to see what they do about it.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Keetron posted:

BYOD also means fewer support staff and presumable happier employees. All for *free*.

At my current job we've gone from "no BYOD" under the old ownership and "BYOD will be supported in the future" under the new ownership. Not entirely a bad thing, but causes some confusion since we haven't fully transitioned to the new company yet, and constantly get employees asking to have their personal laptop/tablet added to the corp network (against policy), or ask if they can use their personal laptop/table on the guest wireless to do their job (also against policy for security reasons). One of the big reasons was because of data encryption, the company uses specific encryption software on all company-provided devices, and if we put it on a personal device and it causes a problem, we're held liable...so we say "gently caress it, not happening, put in a request for an additional computer".

GAYS FOR DAYS
Dec 22, 2005

by exmarx
I work in management at a plasma center. The center manager is in pretty well with the people at the corporate office, and often gets told things that many other centers aren't privy to. Apparently some idiot in management at one of the other centers has been downloading tons of crap on their computer, and now IT is spending all week monitoring everyones internet usage.

Now, I don't do anything inappropriate on the computer. I'll read some news articles and stuff like that when I have some down time, but now I can't even do that. Everyone else uses pandora and poo poo while in their office. I've always just used my phone while in my office, so I don't mind that much.




One of our procedures changes lately, and it's the most rear end backwards policy ever. I'm not going to explain it in depth because it's pretty technical, but management at our center and another center has been fighting with the quality assurance manager at the corporate level about it for a few weeks now. It's inefficient, counter productive, literally results in a loss of revenue, and the reason it was put into place is completely redundant. There are already several different layers of procedure to prevent the situation that this new procedure is trying to prevent.

The guy who came up with this procedure will have none of it though. Any time you try to point out something he comes up with is unnecessary and stupid, he gets totally butt hurt and takes it personally. He is the only person in the company who thinks it is a good idea. Today he brought up asking the owner of the company, "I bet if we go ask Larry he will be shocked you guys don't want us having this in place." The manager at our center wasn't on the call, but she said her response would have been, "Go ahead and ask Larry, he'll be furious that we're quarantining units that don't need to be quarantined and we're deferring donors!"


tl;dr
Work at a plasma center and corporate quality assurance is dumb because they've never worked at a plasma center and don't know how anything works.

edit: Oh yeah, I got approved for a raise back in May. It was approved by my center manager and the accounting/payroll department. All raises, no matter who it is for, have to be finally approved by the company owner. It's been sitting on his desk since May.

Last year I had to wait 3 months for him to approve it. It's loving ridiculous.

GAYS FOR DAYS fucked around with this message at 03:52 on Dec 13, 2012

Acelerion
May 3, 2005

I work in R&D for a gigantic company. Our financial department engaged in some really poor speculation (oddly, none of our competitors joined in) that resulted in margins for about half our business dropping by 7 loving percent.

This is resulting in 25,000 people receiving exactly $0 for yearly bonuses despite the fact that about 5 individuals were responsible for this display of financial wizardry.

For you see, our bonuses are tied not to how we perform but how the company as a whole performs. Anyone without an executive title has about zero impact on stock price so people are a little pissed.

We have also incorporated this brilliant idea into performance reviews. Thats right, my performance is not graded by my manager based on criteria we mutually decide. It is pre-populated based on job title and graded on stock price. A joke that has become a bit cliche is handing employees a piece of paper with the days stock price and telling them to leave during reviews.

However the cherry on this poo poo sundae is that we have been trying to hire people during a hiring freeze. Now this sounds impossible but it really just requires some cleverness and a good amount of rule bending. I wont go into the details but let me just say I have PhD scientists with things like machinist and field operator as job titles. Performance reviews are going to be interesting this year.

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Nocheez
Sep 5, 2000

Can you spare a little cheddar?
Nap Ghost

Acelerion posted:

I work in R&D for a gigantic company. Our financial department engaged in some really poor speculation (oddly, none of our competitors joined in) that resulted in margins for about half our business dropping by 7 loving percent.

This is resulting in 25,000 people receiving exactly $0 for yearly bonuses despite the fact that about 5 individuals were responsible for this display of financial wizardry.

For you see, our bonuses are tied not to how we perform but how the company as a whole performs. Anyone without an executive title has about zero impact on stock price so people are a little pissed.

We have also incorporated this brilliant idea into performance reviews. Thats right, my performance is not graded by my manager based on criteria we mutually decide. It is pre-populated based on job title and graded on stock price. A joke that has become a bit cliche is handing employees a piece of paper with the days stock price and telling them to leave during reviews.

However the cherry on this poo poo sundae is that we have been trying to hire people during a hiring freeze. Now this sounds impossible but it really just requires some cleverness and a good amount of rule bending. I wont go into the details but let me just say I have PhD scientists with things like machinist and field operator as job titles. Performance reviews are going to be interesting this year.
My boss used to give me lovely reviews because I had teammates that weren't pulling their weight. Her reasoning was that we were on the same team, so I should have been helping them. She didn't care that the numbers I personally was responsible for were great, and that I had proof (e-mails, etc) where I had offered to help out/train my teammates on things they were struggling with.

Thankfully my new boss is much better.

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