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UZworm
Feb 9, 2009

Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem
I'll have you know that Oneida is the least quirky town you're ever gonna see! :colbert:

:negative:

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Viscount Slim
Mar 9, 2012

ToiletofSadness posted:

Viscount, how in the hell have you survived this long with such terrible shortstops?

By keeping a stiff upper lip and maintaining a firm belief in six mediocre shortstops being equivalent to one good one.

I really enjoyed the Bearers obit, Smasher - you're a machine.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Some days I think you all don't appreciate me.

Just kidding. I know you don't.

Smasher League Week 1 Injury Report

One of you rear end in a top hat expansion teams finally won some kind of title!

New England Arguments
Whitey Ford (SP) (Stir Crazy in Cooperstown) - 56 days

Revenant Threshold
Jan 1, 2008
Ah, the shame of being beaten in a series by an expansion team in the first update.

Shadow gamer
Jul 24, 2008

I PASSED UP A BARGAIN
I am sure that my team lost every single game. :smith:

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Some days I think you all don't appreciate me.

Just kidding. I know you don't.

Smasher League Week 1 Injury Report

One of you rear end in a top hat expansion teams finally won some kind of title!

New England Arguments
Whitey Ford (SP) (Stir Crazy in Cooperstown) - 56 days

I appreciate your work.

I also appreciate you not injuring my players the first week in.

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Some days I think you all don't appreciate me.

Just kidding. I know you don't.

Smasher League Week 1 Injury Report

One of you rear end in a top hat expansion teams finally won some kind of title!

New England Arguments
Whitey Ford (SP) (Stir Crazy in Cooperstown) - 56 days

Well poo poo. I suppose he gets to go for an eight week furlough somewhere and rest his addled brainmeats. Meanwhile, we'll just have to wiggle the rotation around a little to manage: move Halladay up to be the number 2 starter, make Saberhagen the number three and summon Mel Stottlemeyer to be the new number four, after they've had their next start each. As for a bullpen replacement, hosed if I know. Let me consult my roster...

EDIT: better put Al Downing in the pen this month.

Robert Deadford fucked around with this message at 02:38 on Dec 16, 2012

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."



Super-League VIII, Dynamo League Week 1: WAR...WAR never changes


Games of the Week


Don May posted:


UNSPECS TAKE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE WITH 3-1 WIN

Portland- The Bulldogs' title reign was exactly as inspiring as you would think it would be.

With a 3-1 win, the Unspecifieds dethroned the Bulldogs, completing a three-game sweep in Portland, and winning their first Intercontinental Title in the process. They did this despite the fact that their starter, Jim Kaat, lasted only six innings before running out of steam. Still, thanks to an offense that was able to slap together just enough runs, the Unspecifieds are champions.

And blackmongoose didn't waste the opportunity to spread his message to the masses, "The world has turned its back on all of you. How many of you are truly happy with your lives? I doubt it is many. Most of you are underemployed or worse, stuck in dead-end jobs with no hope of advancement. And, as time goes by, the chances of you escaping from that hole get ever dimmer. The game is rigged against you and you will never win. The few people who, mainly through accident of fate, manage to "succeed" in this new climate will be used as cudgels by the moneyed classes, to beat you into submission with the lie that you too could have this success if only you were willing to work for it. That, of course, is a lie. The wealthy remain wealthy and jealously hoard their wealth, and the opportunities that come with it, creating a new plutocracy that will perpetuate itself into eternity. The rest of you will destroy each other in the vain hope of clawing up some of the scraps the rich drop down to you. And those who have created this system, the old, the wealthy, the fortunate, they will sneer at you. They will blame your failures entirely on you, they will you that if you just applied yourself, or were willing to work harder that you could have it all. They will tell you that you should feel lucky to have any job, no matter how degrading or low-paid. They will tell you that education is the answer, and, oh yes, it is, of course, the question is "How can we best exploit the youth of America," because, as you serve $7 coffee at Starbucks, your student loans will continue to accumulate interest, never to be discharged. The American Dream is not for your generation."

"And that is why I created the Unspecifieds, so that I could make my own society, focused on that most pure of pursuits, that of sports, that which can bind a community better than anything else, that can rally people behind a common god. In the Super-League, I had hoped to find a place free of that greed and selfishness that has consumed our society. But what do I find? I find the Portland Bulldogs, greed made manifest. You all know the story of TKBomber. His Skyhawks won three championship before the Macho Men retired them, but that was not enough for TKBomber, when his next team, the Phantoms, faltered, he decided that the rules of fair play that govern the Super-League no longer applied to him. That he was special, that he deserved more, and to hell with everyone else. He made an alt account, and built a new team while the Phantoms continued to flounder, and he lied and got an extra point of feeder teams because of it. He cheated, he stole, his greed tainted the Super-League, and what was his punishment? Nothing. It was made light of, condoned, he was even given the Intercontinental Title as a reward. But now this," blackmongoose gestured to the Intercontinental Title Belt, "This belongs to me. I have come to the Memento Mori Division to purge the taint that is rotting the heart of the Super-League, I have come to purge the Bulldogs from this league forever. And this is just the beginning. The world may be broken, but I will bring justice to this division."

TKBomber was not impressed, "drat offense really boned us this time. But hey, it's just one week." Asked about blackmongoose's comments, TKBomber appeared unworried, "Oh, really, another whiner, eh? I don't mind, I kicked Senerio's rear end right out of the league, I can sure as hell do the same thing to blackmongoose and his Unspecifieds. The man starts Frank Baker, Sam Crawford and Paul Waner. Now, unless sabermetricians are engaged in some sort of amazing conspiracy, singles hitters at 3B and at the corner outfield slots aren't exactly a brilliant way to build a team. Nah, I've come to far to get beaten now. I'm a survivor, you see, and I will be in the Super-League forever, no matter what I gotta do. And hey, if this team doesn't work out, I guess I could always find another ten dollars..."

Box Score





Don May posted:


BANGERS FINISH SWEEP OF DERVISHES WITH 5-3 WIN

Fukuoka- From the Bangers the Unified U.S. and European Title came to Dervishes, and to the Bangers the Unified U.S. and European Title will return.

In a game where both starters threw complete games, the Bangers came out on top, thanks mainly to costly errors made by Cal Ripken and Joe Morgan that led to two unearned runs, the margin of defeat, scoring.

For Marauder, these titles were just yet another accomplishment for his team. "Ah, yes, it does feel good to be champions...of a sort, once again." Marauder picked up both belts, admiring their form, "Of course, this isn't the first time I've had these particularly titles. Still, it is gratifying to hold them once more." Marauder put them back down and narrowed his eyes.

"Now, then, to business! I will not bore any of you with any meaningless self-flattery. Instead, I will just tell you the facts of the matter. No team has any chance of defeating me. My team's talent is so overwhelming that the only hope that any has of stopping me from winning another championship is a fluke in the playoffs, and with my roster even more settled than last year, how likely does that seem? Let's not forget, the Dervishes and I met in the playoffs last season, and I crushed them. This season-opening series merely reinforces how much better than them my team is, as well as letting pick up these titles once again, as, I think we'll all agree, the events that led to the Dervishes taking them from me last season were an aberration that desperately needing righting. Honestly, you all should be rooting for my team. So long as I am in the Super-League, I will crush your lesser teams with all the malice of a young boy drowning a bag of rabbit kits in a pond. The only way you will be free of me is if I win the championship and am then retired by the Macho Men. Granted, I think I would defeat the Macho Men, but it is the only hope any of you have. So do not resist me, instead, bask in my glory and hope that I grow weary of obliterating your pathetic teams as time goes on. What other choice do you have?"

Beet was not happy to have his titles taken from him, and came to the press conference with long-time Dervish Stan Musial by his side. Beet whispered something in Musial's ear, and the left fielder began to speak, "Beet wishes you all to know that, because of the naked cruelty the media of the Super-League has shown him recently, he will no longer be speaking with your directly. Questions?" Beet was asked whether he felt regret about the Ripken trade now that his new shortstop had cost him his titles, to which Beet-through-Musial responded, "Beet wishes to explain that he is aware that there are bound to be some setbacks during this transition process and that those are unavoidable. He has no regrets over acquiring Cal for our team. Anything else?" A reporter then asked if Beet thought the Dervishes would be able to take the titles back in a rematch with the Bangers scheduled for next week. "Beet tells me that this is the sort of cruelty he spoke of earlier. Of course the Dervishes will recapture the titles next week in Dubai. It is inevitable, as we have swept the Bangers for these titles before, last season, and there is no reason to think it will not happen again. Yes, the Dervishes will regain those titles, and then all will see." Beet then gestured Musial back over to him and whispered something else in his ear, "Ah, I have inaccurately relayed Beet's words. He wishes you to know that 'all will suffer.'"

Box Score





Hardcore Title Defenses

: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first set of defenses for the Hardcore Title! As you know, the Hardcore Title can change hands if the reigning champion is defeated in any series, and so I'll be presenting each and every game played by the Hardcore Champion this season!
: That's right! But, since is the first week of the season, there's only one series for the Hardcore Champion Losers this week, and it'll be a four-game set against the Spooners.
: That's right, and, due to the rules of the Hardcore Championship, that's a good thing for the Losers, because if the series splits 2-2, the title will not change hands. Let's get started! The Losers will lead things off with Paige on the mound, who was so good last year...and he'll have a great start this season too, striking out ten as the Losers win a close one 2-1.



: Second game will also be tight, probably tighter than ToiletofSadness would like, as Hooks Dauss will go eight innings, and almost come away with the win, before the Losers are able to put the Spooners away.
: And an odd game for Seaver. He pitches the complete game, but gives up four runs in the process, Hey, how did Hooks Dauss get his name anyway?
: Yoshida, people who ask personal questions of people named "Hooks" do not tend to live long, happy lives. Anyway, with their second-straight win, the Losers will retain the Hardcore Title.



: Losers take another game, and that's another complete game for them.
: And that's not a good sign for the Spooners. Drysdale, a wild pitcher, needed only 95 pitches for that complete game, and that means that the Spooners are simply not taking enough pitches. Looking at that lineup, you've got a lot of good contact guys, but only a couple of patient hitters, and that might come back to haunt them.



: And the Spooners will avoid the sweep with a 12-2 beating that was fueled by some bad errors and ineffective relief position. It still only counts as one game in the standings, though.
: Interesting trivia note, the starters for this game, Pete Alexander and Nolan Ryan, once formed the "Tex 'n Lex Connection" that led the Skyhawks to three Super-League Championships. Of course, those were different models of Ryan and Alexander, but it's still kind of neat.
: If you say so.



: And so the Losers retain the Hardcore Title with a 3-1 series win over the Spooners. Come back next week as they take on the Coburns in a three-game series, and then, pending the outcome, we'll see either Losers-Unicorns or Coburns-Dickshots. You won't want to miss it!

Team Statistics: It Never Felt this Good!








Analysis

I mean, we can pretend it's not a problem as long as you want, but we both know that you have to replace Krukow with Jason Schmidt sooner or later.









Analysis

I don't know how far your finesse pitching can take you, but you have a decent shot in this week division and you did just win the Intercontinental Title.









Analysis

Not a great start, but it is only one week.









Analysis

Here's a list of pitchers on your roster I would rather have start for me instead of Tom Hughes: Drysdale, Uhle, Newcombe, a pitching machine.









Analysis

Well, as long as Catfish Hunter doesn't have a K/BB ratio of 1:6 in every start, you can probably survive this.









Analysis

Time to prove that you're hardcore.









Analysis

Tough loss, but at least you'll have a chance to remedy it almost immediately. The loss of Leonard does hurt, though.









Analysis

The Oranges getting off to a fast start? It's a Christmas miracle!









Analysis

A good start, even if, looking at their pitching, I don't know that they can keep it up.









Analysis

To the surprise of no one.









Analysis

Your team will do better when it plays easier teams...like it will next week. That said, you do have some holes on your offense.









Analysis

That can't have been the start you were looking for.









Analysis

I think Nomar goes to first and Santo goes to third for the moment.









Analysis

The Losers, as usual, start strong. Let's see if they can keep it going.









Analysis

Three games lost by four runs. That's not a good omen.

SPACE JAM AVAILABLE









Analysis

A million trades and an 0-3 start. That's a shame.


Standings and Leaders










Choose Your Own Obit!

Guys, I don't have any ideas for this obit, so, in order to do the Bobbleheads proud, and increase thread participation, I'll let you vote on the story's direction after every update. Okay, let's begin!


Part 1

Mark Grace woke up in his Lincolnwood apartment. He kind of wished he could afford a better place, but being on the Bobbleheads didn't pay well, especially since, according to the contract he had negotiated for, he was paid entirely in beer and rocket cycles.

Heading to the bathroom, he wondering if it was even worth shaving this morning. After all, it's not like he had anything planned for the day, and given his trademark goatee, it wouldn't really be that noticeable if he took the day off. It was definitely something he needed to think about.

Suddenly, the phone rang!

DECISION TIME!

Will Mark Grace...

A. Answer the phone!

B. Get it together and shave, because Mark Grace is a classy dude, and shaving is what classy dudes do!

C. You said we had rocket cycles? I want Mark Grace on rocket cycle right now!

theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.
Should I be concerned that SLVIII is happening in the SLVII thread? Could Spaceballs possibly be real????

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011

The correct answer is obviously C.

Also I'm glad to see I escaped the first week without any injuries, good job team. Though I'm very excited to see just how terrible my outfield is going to be in the Super League.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Well. First thing's first, we'll have Mark Grace answer the phone since he's not antisocial.

For team business:

Team's hitting is cold, but they always seem to start cold. I'm gonna put Nomar at 1B as suggested, and we'll do Santo at 3B and act surprised when BBM thinks he's too young to hit a ball.

Also, let's yank Kent Mercker for Tom Zachary in the bullpen. Let's also platoon Salmon with Gwynn in RF because I'm not sure Gwynn can last the entire season by himself.

BearDrivingTruck
Oct 15, 2011

You see the most shocking sights sometimes
Fine, be that way.

The Pessimists replace 1989 Mike Krukow with 1989 Jason Schimdt.

I lost my team banner code by the way, so if someone could repost it for me, that would be much appreciated.

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician


A 3-1 start? TIME TO IMMEDIATELY MAKE CHANGES

Beet was singing Joe Jackson's praises to me in the IRC last night and he had a killer opening series, so gently caress it, get rid of the stupid platoon and make the vs RHP lineup the everyday one.

Paul Zuvella
Dec 7, 2011

BearDrivingTruck posted:

Fine, be that way.

The Pessimists replace 1989 Mike Krukow with 1989 Jason Schimdt.

I lost my team banner code by the way, so if someone could repost it for me, that would be much appreciated.

http://lpix.org/980990/Team1-ABanner.PNG

Copy image location, y'all.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates


Bloggers spreadsheet is finalized.

We have no changes, but there were some roster errors in week 1 that we'd like fixed, notably:
1) Pat Dobson belongs in AAA, Phil Douglas in long relief (and how the hell did Dobson get a start?!)
2) '67 Holtzman, '64 McBean, and '81 Gorman are all missing from our roster.
3) Hopefully we will use our rotation in order in the future. What the heck happened to cause our #1, #4, and LR to get the first three starts of the year?

Finally, we have a ratings challenge on 1911 Chief Bender. To wit:
1) Bender is currently rated a horrifying 83 OVR :gonk:
2) Bender is a Hall of Fame pitcher and was truly elite for his era: he had a career 112 ERA+ and 84 FIP-, despite starting play at just 19 and having a couple bad decline years.
3) Most notably, Bender managed a 5.1 K/9 in the deadball era, compared to a league average around 4. He also put up a career 0.1 HR/9.
4) Our version of Chief Bender is 1911. This was his age-27 season, typically accepted as players' peak age. Historically, is was situated in the middle of 6 seasons with sub-2.0 BB/9 and after three with >5.5 K/9. He had given up 4 HR in the previous 4 seasons, and had no injury issues.
5) SuperLeague precedent is kind to Chief Bender. The SLVII Googly Mooglies had two copies of the pitcher, which were rated 94 and 95 overall. They performed like it, too: the two Benders combined for 425 innings, 203 Ks, and a 3.40 ERA (league ERA was 4.19).

e: Smasher, could you tell me anything about Eddie Matthews's defense at 3B? Also, you have Larry Gardner in my AAA but he isn't on my roster, I don't know what you prefer to do about that.

Mornacale fucked around with this message at 05:54 on Dec 16, 2012

BearDrivingTruck
Oct 15, 2011

You see the most shocking sights sometimes

I meant the code that I can write down and copy into my posts.

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician
Oops I missed the CYOA. C.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Mornacale

New teams have a roster limit of 30 players, as we've discussed before.

As to all of your other complaints, it's been three games, we've got a ton of baseball left.

Everyone else

You should totally vote for the Bobbleheads obit, because it keeps my self-delusion about this being a viable LP alive, and that's the only thing keeping this going.

UZworm
Feb 9, 2009

Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem
Well at least we didn't lose every loving game by one run.



gently caress the platooning, just make Todd Helton the every day starter. Considering how low Andres' rating is, I'm sure that will work out better in the long run for me.

New Everyday Lineup
RF Harry Heilmann
CF Ty Cobb
LF Josh Hamilton
SS Joe Cronin
1B Todd Helton
3B Scott Rolen
C Darrell Porter
2B Joe Morgan
P --

Also, C.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Mornacale

New teams have a roster limit of 30 players, as we've discussed before.

As to all of your other complaints, it's been three games, we've got a ton of baseball left.


All three of those players were added after rosters finalized. The rest are not complaints (insofar as I don't expect you to fix them retroactively, that is), I'm just pointing out that they need to be changed for next week. I don't know if you're wrapping up my ratings challenge into "complaints" or not.

Mornacale fucked around with this message at 06:07 on Dec 16, 2012

UltimoDragonQuest
Oct 5, 2011



Rocket Cycles!

Have you considered adding giant fighting robots to make your LP more appealing?

Faustoan Bargain
Dec 24, 2009

I'd sell my soul for a pitcher with a power sinker...

Smasher Dynamo posted:

You should totally vote for the Bobbleheads obit, because it keeps my self-delusion about this being a viable LP alive, and that's the only thing keeping this going.

Mark Grace on a rocket cycle is the only thing keeping me going.

C.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Mornacale

It's been a rule since the beginning that teams can only carry a certain number of players going into their first season, and I don't think that the PTBNLs works as an exception to that, since those selections were made before rosters were finalized anyway.

But assuming, arguendo, that the timing of those deals does work out in your favor, that would mean that the Commies and Elephants would have had to, effectively, carry the PTBNLs on their roster into the season in order to make those deals, meaning that the Elephants should only have a 28-man roster, and the Commies a 29-man roster. And they both submitted 30-man rosters, meaning that they certainly didn't think that the trade was going to work in that way.

I guess what I'm asking for is a persuasive argument for why these trades work the way you think they do, as opposed to the way I (and tatankatonk and Faustoan Bargain) think because, if you're right, they have to drop players.

As for why the order of the starters, who knows? Mogul can be weird sometimes. Either way, it hit everyone equally and doesn't make a huge difference, so I'm not really that concerned about it. Dobson probably started because of a minor injury to one of your pitchers that came and went before the end of the week.

And I never grant challenges based on zero data, because ratings can be deceptive a lot of times, especially when you have to do a lot of editing players. The standard for challenges has always been making the player perform reasonably close to his actual talent, and I'm not ready to jack up Bender's rating (which, as I've said, isn't particularly accurate) until it's an actual problem.

e: Apparently one of the deals was with the Dickshots, not the Elephants.

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 06:20 on Dec 16, 2012

BearDrivingTruck
Oct 15, 2011

You see the most shocking sights sometimes
I vote B.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Mornacale

It's been a rule since the beginning that teams can only carry a certain number of players going into their first season, and I don't think that the PTBNLs works as an exception to that, since those selections were made before rosters were finalized anyway.

But assuming, arguendo, that the timing of those deals does work out in your favor, that would mean that the Commies and Elephants would have had to, effectively, carry the PTBNLs on their roster into the season in order to make those deals, meaning that the Elephants should only have a 28-man roster, and the Commies a 29-man roster. And they both submitted 30-man rosters, meaning that they certainly didn't think that the trade was going to work in that way.

I guess what I'm asking for is a persuasive argument for why these trades work the way you think they do, as opposed to the way I (and tatankatonk and Faustoan Bargain) think because, if you're right, they have to drop players.

Well, actually, I would say that the Commies and Dickshots (the other deal was with Monicro, not tatankatonk) should not have to go down below 30 players. After all, the stipulation was specifically to get a player that they left off the 30-man, so it could only be finalized after 30-man rosters were set. (In fact, getting additional players was the whole point of the structure.)

I would further point out that I specifically asked you if I could make deals for PTBNL, and that working around roster rules is pretty much the whole point of PTBNL in the real world, that I didn't add those players to my roster until after it was posted and set them aside via italics for some time after that, and that never in this process was any indication made to me that these deals were not allowed to be completed.

e: Also, please let me know whenever I'm allowed to challenge that rating.

ManifunkDestiny
Aug 2, 2005
THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN THE SEAHAWKS IS RUSSELL WILSON'S TAINT SWEAT

Seahawks #1 fan since 2014.
Spokane Air Raids

Whitey nooooooooooooooooo, clearly some sort of pretzel mishap (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-lu816sfkc) . Bring up Daniel Hudson to take his place til he's recovered.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

ManifunkDestiny posted:

Spokane Air Raids

Whitey nooooooooooooooooo, clearly some sort of pretzel mishap (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-lu816sfkc) . Bring up Daniel Hudson to take his place til he's recovered.

That wasn't your team's Whitey Ford.

Now, I get where you're going with this, you assume that their is some sort of metaphysical link whereby if one Ford is injured, they are all injured because they are one person in multiple bodies.

Or maybe you didn't read quite closely enough.

Beet
Aug 24, 2003


Well, this is kind of a lovely way to start the season, but, hey. I'm confident. And it looks like the rolls were kind all around. In any event, we're going to start by putting in a new lineup in light of the injury to Buck Leonard.

1. 2B Joe Morgan
2. LF Stan Musial
3. CF Earl Averill
4. C Johnny Bench
5. RF Vlad Guerrero
6. 1B Tony Perez
7. SS Cal Ripken Jr
8. 3B Willie Kamm

Furthermore the Dervishes will submit a vote of C in the matter of the People v. Mark Grace

mrnoun
Jul 24, 2007
Looking to the The Future of the Super League:

Yeah, yeah, the current season just started, but that means we're just a few short weeks from expansion. Are you an old owner considering a comeback? Maybe a lurker? Or maybe just new to the thread? Well, here's something to whet your appetite for the upcoming season: a quick look at some of next season's more interesting feeder teams!


1902 Philadelphia Athletics
Record: 92-56, Lost WS
Likely value: 4-5 points
Top Hitters: Topsy Hartsel, Socks Seybold
Top Pitchers: Rube Waddell, Eddie Plank
Best Name: Ossee Schrecongost

For Super League purposes, Waddell is probably the best possible left-handed pitcher you can find: all the advantages of a dead ball pitcher with all the advantages of a sabremetric-style high K, low BB pitcher.


1985 California Angels
Record: 90-72, 2nd
Likely value: 3 points
Top Hitters: Bobby Grich, Super League Savior Brian Downing
Top Pitchers: Ancient Don Sutton, pre-incident Donnie Moore
Best Name: Stew Cliburn

Wally World was a year away, but most of the pieces of their division-winning '86 team were already in place. The question is, can you get enough out of guys like Doug Decinces to make it worthwhile?


1976 Houston Astros
Record: 80-82, 3rd
Likely value: 2 points
Top Hitters: Cesar Cedeno, Cliff Johnson
Top Pitchers: J.R. Richard, Larry Dierker
Best Name: Mark Lemongello

Richard wasn't quite at his peak yet, and there's not much for hitting. But Cedeno was pretty good, and Johnson draws walks, hits home runs, and is still young enough to play catcher (albeit badly).


1946 Boston Braves
Record: 81-72, 4th
Likely value: 2-3 points
Top Hitters: Tommy Holmes, International Media Sensation Johnny Hopp
Top Pitchers: Warren Spahn, Johnny Sain
Best Name: Carden Gillenwater

The origin of "Spahn and Sain and pray for rain." There's very little hitting to be had, but Spahn and Sain are in their primes, and joined by competent veterans Mort Cooper and Jim Konstanty.


1993 Milwaukee Brewers
Record: 69-93, 7th
Likely value: 1 point
Top Hitters: Greg Vaughn, B.J. Surhoff
Top Pitchers: Mike Fetters, Cal Eldred? Really?
Best Name: Ricky Bones

The '93 Brewers aren't really that interesting. They're just part of my never-ending quest to get Troy O'Leary into the Super League as many times as possible.


1934 St. Louis Cardinals
Record: 95-58, Won WS
Likely value: 4 points
Top Hitters: Ducky Medwick, Spud Davis
Top Pitchers: Dizzy Dean, Daffy Dean
Best Name: Phil Collins

We haven't had a Dizzy Dean team in a while. So have a Dizzy, a Dazzy, a Daffy, and a Ducky!


1989 Chicago Cubs
Record: 93-59, 1st, Lost NLCS
Likely value: 4 points
Top Hitters: Mark Grace, Ryne Sandberg
Top Pitchers: Greg Maddux, Mitch Williams
Best Name: Marvell Wynne

The Bash Brothers A's were vulnerable, all it would have taken was a little more luck against the Giants. It was closer than you think...


1981 Los Angeles Dodgers
Record: 63-47, 1st, Won WS
Likely value: 3 points
Top Hitters: Pedro Guerrero, Ron Cey
Top Pitchers: Fernando Valenzuela, Jerry Reuss
Best Name: Ted Power

FERNANDOOOOO MANIA!!! *Warning: may contain toxic levels of Bob Welch


1988 Montreal Expos
Record: 81-81, 3rd
Likely value: 2 points
Top Hitters: Tim Raines, Andres Galarraga
Top Pitchers: Dennis Martinez, Randy Johnson
Best Name: Randy St. Claire

A viable Tim Raines, El Presidente, a baby Randy Johnson, and tons of workable bullpen arms.


1965 San Fransisco Giants
Record: 95-67, 2nd
Likely value: 4-5 points
Top Hitters: Willie Mays, Willie McCovey
Top Pitchers: Juan Marichal, Gaylord Perry
Best Name: Tito Fuentes

Mays and a ton of decent role players.


1995 Cleveland Indians
Record: 100-44, 1st, Lost WS
Likely value: 5 points
Top Hitters: Manny Ramirez, Albert Belle
Top Pitchers: Dennis Martinez, Orel Hershiser
Best Name: Eric Plunk

Nobody hits like the '95 Indians.


1982 Toronto Blue Jays
Record: 78-84, 6th
Likely value: 1-2 points
Top Hitters: Jesse Barfield, Lloyd Moseby
Top Pitchers: Dave Stieb, Mark Eichhorn
Best Name: Hosken Powell

The first non-embarrassing Blue Jays team doesn't have much of SL value, but they have historical value.


1997 Seattle Mariners
Record: 90-72, 1st, Lost ALDS
Likely value: 5 points
Top Hitters: Alex Rodriguez, Junior Griffey
Top Pitchers: Randy Johnson, Jamie Moyer
Best Name: Heathcliff Slocumb

There will be five Jamie Moyers in the next feeder class. Will anyone dare to take all five, and form the ultimate pitching rotation?


1984 New York Mets
Record: 90-72, 2nd
Likely value: 4 points
Top Hitters: Darryl Strawberry, Keith Hernandez
Top Pitchers: Dwight Gooden, Ron Darling
Best Name: Billy Beane

Pre-coke Dwight Gooden is probably worth it all by himself.


1976 Baltimore Orioles
Record: 88-74, 2nd
Likely value: 3-4 points
Top Hitters: Reggie Jackson, Bobby Grich
Top Pitchers: Jim Palmer, Dennis Martinez
Best Name: Tippy Martinez

A fascinatingly fun team with a great infield defense and a pre-Yankee Reggie. Say, "Thank you, factorialite!" for throwing his team away and freeing these guys up.


1989 San Diego Padres
Record: 89-73, 2nd
Likely value: 3 points
Top Hitters: Tony Gwynn, Robbie Alomar
Top Pitchers: Bruce Hurst, Mark Davis
Best Name: Randy Ready

The last good Padres team before the big fire sale killed them for the better part of a decade.


1907 Philadelphia Phillies
Record: 83-64, 3rd
Likely value: 2 points
Top Hitters: Sherry Magee, Otto Knabe
Top Pitchers: Harry Coveleski, Tully Sparks
Best Name: Kitty Bransfield

I don't think we've had a Sherry Magee team in ages.


1971 Pittsburgh Pirates
Record: 97-65, 1st, Won WS
Likely value: 4 points
Top Hitters: Willie Stargell, Roberto Clemente
Top Pitchers: Dock Ellis, pre-disease Steve Blass
Best Name: Rimp Lanier

We have a baby Willie Stargell and an ancient Willie Stargell. How about a prime Willie Stargell?


1919 Cincinnati Reds
Record: 96-44, 1st, Won WS
Likely value: 4 points
Top Hitters: Edd Roush, Heinie Groh
Top Pitchers: Dutch Ruether, Slim Sallee
Best Name: Greasy Neale

Everyone remembers the 1919 Black Sox. But what about the team that 'beat' them? Were they any good?


1988 Boston Red Sox
Record: 89-73, 1st, Lost ALCS
Likely value: 4 points
Top Hitters: Wade Boggs, Ellis Burks
Top Pitchers: Roger Clemens, Lee Smith
Best Name: Mike Rochford

The '88 Sox were struggling in the middle of the pack when they fired manager John McNamara mid-season. While the team negotiated with Joe Torre to become the new manager, they appointed little-known third base coach Joe Morgan (not the good one) as interim manager. The team promptly won 19 of their next 20 games, a stretch called "Morgan Magic", and all talk of Torre vanished.


1971 Kansas City Royals
Record: 85-76, 2nd
Likely value: 2-3 points
Top Hitters: Amos Otis, Gail Hopkins
Top Pitchers: Paul Splittorff, Dick Drago
Best Name: Cookie Rojas

The first Royals team to finish above .500, and one of the few chances to see what the Royals looked like pre-Brett.


1974 Texas Rangers
Record: 84-76, 2nd
Likely value: 3 points
Top Hitters: Jeff Burroughs, Toby Harrah
Top Pitchers: Fergie Jenkins, Don Stanhouse
Best Name: Steve Foucault's Pendulum

Prime Jenkins, plus a bunch of sabremetric-friendly position players.


1993 Detroit Tigers
Record: 85-77, 3rd
Likely value: 2 points
Top Hitters: Lou Whitaker, Mickey Tettleton
Top Pitchers: David Wells, Mike Henneman
Best Name: Skeeter Barnes

The last stand of the Sparky Anderson Tigers lacked the pitching to survive in an increasingly juiced era.


1983 Minnesota Twins
Record: 70-92, 5th
Likely value: 1 point
Top Hitters: Kent Hrbek, Tom Brunansky
Top Pitchers: Frank Viola, Ron Davis
Best Name: Randy Bush

I cannot emphasize this enough: YOU CAN *NEVER* HAVE TOO MANY TIM TEUFELS.


1936 Chicago White Sox
Record: 81-70, 4th
Likely value: 2-3 points
Top Hitters: Luke Appling, Zeke Bonura
Top Pitchers: Ted Lyons, Sugar Cain
Best Name: George Washington. No, wait, Jo-jo Morrissey. No, Mule Haas. Argh, no, Les Rock! Wait, wait, Les Tietie!

Look at this loving team!


2004 New York Yankees
Record: 101-61, 1st, Lost ALCS
Likely value: 5 points
Top Hitters: Alex Rodriguez, Gary Sheffield
Top Pitchers: Kevin Brown, Mariano Rivera
Best Name: Homer Bush

We haven't had a Hideki Matsui in ages, and this is by the far the most interesting of the Matsui Yankee teams.



It'll be a few weeks yet before the list is finalized and sign-ups are opened. So this is your chance to participate in the process. So, readers: do you have a favorite player you want to see included?

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET
Voting C for the Bobbleheads obit because, come on, rocket cycles!

Also, during the offseason, are we allowed to deal players that we had to trim from our 30 man roster but weren't on our feeder teams? Like, for example, I won 2009 Troy Glaus - well, I don't know if I'd call that winning - in the Superstars auction, but I couldn't fit him on my 30-man. Do we still have the rights to those players, or are they just gone permanently?

I bring it up because, as one of the stipulations of my trade with Mornacale for Ernie Lombardi, if the average OVR of Douglas and Hendrix is above 92, I get 1932 Eppa Rixey in addition, and their average OVR is 92.5. I would just add him to the list of guys I have access to in the offseason, but I wasn't sure if that was how it would work.

CVE
Jan 27, 2012
Soon I will return...

I've been reading up and am still as clueless as before. Baseball statistics are hard to grasp.

Anyhow I vote B for the Bobbleheads obit vote. Mark Grace only starts riding Rocket Cycles once he returned to his classy looks.

ForeverBWFC
Oct 19, 2011

Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!
Voting A because beards are cool and we don't want to blow our rocket load too early, we need to save that poo poo up!

Revenant Threshold
Jan 1, 2008
Voting A. Mark Grace doesn't ignore a ringing phone. Even if it were in someone else's house.

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp
But what if its a videophone? We're in an alternate reality where there are rocket cycles. Surely the telecommunications industry isn't lagging behind! And a gentleman would not answer the videophone without an immaculately trimmed goatee.

Mark Grace finishes shaving like the gent he is: option B

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Mark Grace always answers the call.
A

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
1935 Tigers. Gots to gets me some of that Greenberg, Gehringer and Goslin.

gardenald
Jul 23, 2007

In the end, it comes down to throwing one pitch after another, and seeing what happens. With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.
C is for Rocket Cycles.

tatankatonk
Nov 4, 2011

Pitching is the art of instilling fear.
C.

Archie Goodwin
Jan 2, 2012
Using intelligence guided by experience since 1934.
Love the new thread title.

And the postman rings twice, not the client. A.

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ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010
A. Opportunity knoc--er, rings.

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