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CraigK posted:Oh, and count the rings, Cub fan Oh, this is just adorable.
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Dec 19, 2012 10:45
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| # ? May 27, 2024 18:37 |
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BrooklynBruiser posted:Oh, this is just adorable. Fun fact: The Cardinals are 3-2 in the World Series vs. the Yankees. Kicked your rear end in the -ah, I can't do it. Being a smug fan is hard. 
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Dec 19, 2012 12:44
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 The horror. The horror of it all. Although technically Lincecum is doing better this season too! Still, at least this season i'm reasonably better equipped to deal with this. Let's have Rodriguez in for Posey, with Posey taking over personal catcher duties for Adams. Votto may have to be out soon, depressingly, but I do at least have options there, so we'll leave that one for another update. Elliott, however, isn't staying in while I have Beltran and a tempting Damon in the minors; let's have Beltran in for Elliott, please. As for pitching... sigh. Edit: Whoops, forgot to vote. Apparently Mark Grace isn't going to finish anything he starts today, so C. Revenant Threshold fucked around with this message at 16:03 on Dec 19, 2012 |
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Dec 19, 2012 13:50
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Mark Grace is going to compete for the Sledding World Championship.
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Dec 19, 2012 15:40
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Smasher League Week 3 Injury Report Lombard St. Gumshoes Mike Schmidt (3B) (Took a long walk off a short pier) - 10 days New England Arguments Roger Clemens (SP) (Price of Victory) - 9 days Philadelpha Failures John Candelaria (SP) (Whose shoulder can separate/split right into two?/Rack up a huge ERA and gently caress you over too...the Candy Man can! Yes, the Candy Man can...) - 14 days
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Dec 19, 2012 20:23
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 This is silly. The Rocket rests, make Wakefield the no. 1 starter until he's fit.
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Dec 19, 2012 20:56
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 The Candy Man can... go to the minors. Send him down, recall Josh Beckett, and put Beckett in long relief.
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Dec 20, 2012 00:04
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Let's go with B, we've been avoiding the rocket fuel long enough.
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Dec 20, 2012 02:27
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 Super-League VIII, Dynamo League Week 3: Robert Bork Memorial Edition Games of the Week Don May posted:
Box Score  Don May posted:
Box Score   Hardcore Heaven or Hell: Let's Rock!  : And the Unicorns are back and ready to defend their Hardcore Title, and this time, the Intercontinental Title will be on the line as well, as they'll take on the defending Intercontinental Champion Unspecifieds. : Just to be clear, the Hardcore Title will go to whoever wins this three-game series, but the Unicorns would have to sweep the Unspecifieds to win their fifth Intercontinental Title. : And that hopes goes out the window almost immediately as the Unspecifieds get a walk-off win in Game 1, and now the Unicorns will have to win the next two just to retain their Hardcore Title.: Both the Unicorns and Unspecifieds are finesse teams. Not a lot of power pitchers, not a lot of power hitters. Now the Unicorns have brought in Barry Bonds and are trying to become more of a sabermetrically-sound club, but both teams really live and die on their control pitching.  : Unicorns break through with a big effort, and that means tomorrow's game will decide the series and the Hardcore Title.: And this is what the Unicorns were hoping for when they acquired Bonds, more power, more walks, it's been working well for them so far this season. : And the Unicorns will retain the Hardcore Title with a win, and that's their first successful defense.: And the Unicorns offense does look better, with a fascinating combination of take and rake and contact hitters. A really interesting balance that not many other owners have attempted so far.: And what about the Unspecifieds?: Well, it's only one series, but the Achilles' heel of their team has always been a lot of contact hitters, and Wagner, Youngs and Frisch was probably just a bit more than they could handle. But, again, it's only three games.  : Moving on, the Unicorns will make their next defense against the Dickshots.: The Dickshots have some interesting pieces, but their hitters can't draw a walk, and their third starter is Captain America.: He did fight the Nazis.: But he is going to take the loss here, as Monicro will stick with him for way too long, and he'll cough up the late lead. : And the Unicorns win the second game of the series, and will retain the Hardcore title again.: The Dickshots offense just doesn't quite have the premier offensive talent they need to compete. Just look at their corners, you've got Jackson and Williams. Jackson is a good contact guy, but a corner outfielder that doesn't hit home runs and doesn't draw walks is never going to be elite in the Super-League unless he can steal 100 bases at a very high percentage, which Jackson can't. And Williams does have some power, but he's a step below guys like Bonds and Ted Williams. : And the Unicorns complete the sweep.: The Dickshots cannot be happy with how they played that series, and are going to have to ask themselves some tough questions going forward. : And that will do it for this week. Unicorns retain against the Unspecs and Dickshots. Their next defense will against the Bulldogs, and, depending on how that goes, we'll see either the Unicorns-Dervishes or Bulldogs-Generics. Team Statistics      Analysis But seriously, Neagle can't keep this up, although, based on my experience, Mogul is fond of him.      Analysis You came within one game each of getting the Hardcore and U.S./European Titles this week, but just couldn't quite do it.      Analysis Doing a little better and, hey, look at that, Feller is actually good this year!      Analysis McGraw appears to be like some sort of Mega-Rickey Henderson, but I have no idea how long that will last.      Analysis Unicorns continue cruising.      Analysis It's not quite coming together yet, but you've still got a bit of time.      Analysis Well, at least Buck Leonard's back.      Analysis Somehow, your three best hitters are all hitting under .200. That's can't possibly continue.      Analysis I'm sure you have a lot to say about your team, and I'll hear about it tomorrow.      Analysis Why can't you just win 120 games like you're supposed to?      Analysis Give it more time.      Analysis Much like a real bulldog, this team is as tough as poo poo, and prone to hip dysplasia.      Analysis At least Goose still plays hard for you.      Analysis Three weeks in, four games up.      Analysis Still unlucky.      Analysis Still want to challenge Bender's rating? Standings and Leaders      A. Instigate revolution to liberate Chicagoland from Greater Canada! - 1 vote B. Finally go get that Rocket Fuel from Earth-2 Mark Grace! - 3 votes C. Go sledding! - 10 votes Clearly, sledding is the way to go. Luckily for Mark Grace, it had just recently snowed and he was only a few blocks away from Mt. Trashmore, the best sledding hill in the North Suburbs. Granted, with Chicagoland having little in the way of hills, that wasn't saying much, but it would have to do. Mark Grace pulled up to the park and got his emergency sled out of the trunk. A large number of warning signs were posted, because technically speaking, people were not allowed to slide down the big hill, probably for liability concerns, but that didn't stop anybody, and it's not like Evanston could afford to hire people to keep people off the hill anyway. It was a bit of a climb up the hill. It had been warm the day before, melting the top layer of the snow, but it had refrozen over night. The result was that the ground was slick with a thin layer of ice on top of the snow pack. That would make things a bit more dangerous, but think of the speed he could pick up! At the top of the hill, Mark looked down. It wasn't an especially steep hill, making it seem lower than it really was. They wasn't a ton of room on top for much of a running start, so gravity would have to do most of the work. With a push, Grace was off, and began speeding down the hill. As he picked up even more velocity, the cold winter air invigorated him. Suddenly, he saw trouble ahead. Mt. Trashmore wasn't really designed a sled hill, and so it wasn't maintained as such. A good sledding hill has to be relatively smooth, to make sure that a fast-moving sled doesn't hit a bump and crash. But, in front him, Mark saw a series of small bumps in the hill right ahead of him. With no real turning mechanism, Mark watched helplessly as his sled ran aground on the bump, bounced into the air, and then hit the ground hard, with Mark landing square on his back and his head. The wind knocked out of him, Mark struggled to breathe as blackness overcame him... DECISION TIME! Will Mark Grace... A. Dream of the Future! B. Dream of the Past! C. Dream of finally getting that gyros! VOTE OR HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE THINGS MIGHT HAPPEN!
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Dec 20, 2012 03:15
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One must always look toward the future! A! gently caress it, replace Dauss in the rotation with Busby. New Rotation SP1 Ed Walsh SP2 Pete Alexander SP3 Frank Smith SP4 Doc White SP5 Steve Busby And with Porter about to come back, go back to the old catcher rotation system with Porter taking the first three pitchers in the rotation and Bassler the last two. It'd be neat if this team could score a number somewhere between 4-10 runs every game instead of scoring either 2 or 18 every game. UZworm fucked around with this message at 09:56 on Dec 20, 2012 |
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Dec 20, 2012 03:20
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Frankie Frisch in the top ten for OPS? I guess that makes up for his atrocious defense. What to do, what to do with my miserable bullpen? Send Smoltz to the DL, Arthur Rhodes gets the call up. New bullpen alignment: CL Wetteland SU Myers SR Bentancourt SR Rhodes MR Putz LR Sabathia Obit vote: A.
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Dec 20, 2012 03:32
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Guess it's time to hope that Paul Derringer is capable of living to his name and throws like a pistol firing. Move him into Lefty Gomez's spot while he's on the DL.
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Dec 20, 2012 03:41
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 : I told you guys ALEXANDER or BLYLEVEN. Though Lefty Gomez is good enough.Sierra Hotel India Echo Lima Delta
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Dec 20, 2012 04:02
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Switch Waner and Cabrera in the batting order.
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Dec 20, 2012 04:03
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 Luque was a disaster, and so was Zambrano, so we'll go ahead and put Tiant at LR, push Finley to the 4th spot if possible and give our favorite knuckleballer not named Dickey a shot (Niekro to 5th spot in rotation). Pull Miceli for Walle because that was just awful.
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Dec 20, 2012 04:52
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Well, it's been a rough few weeks. No one seems to remember how to hit a baseball except for Stan Musial, so well done there. I'm glad to see my bullpen is swallowing the runs my starting pitchers are giving up, hopefully they can hold up their end of the bargain soon. Since Buck Leonard will return this week, I'm going to set up a new lineup that I think is the most efficient thing I've got yet, based on early trends. Tony Perez will keep backing up for 2 more days. pre:1. 2B Joe Morgan 2. LF Stan Musial 3. RF Vladimir Guerrero 4. 1B Buck Leonard 5. CF Earl Averill 6. C Johnny Bench 7. SS Cal Ripken 8. 3B Willie Kamm
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Dec 20, 2012 06:07
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Spreadsheet is final. Changes consist of platooning Cutch with Babe instead of Barry, dropping the 2B platoon, the lineup changes to accomodate those things, and a lot of slider fiddling. e: And for the record, yes, I still want to challenge Bender's rating. He's going to regress to the mean sometime. Mornacale fucked around with this message at 08:56 on Dec 20, 2012 |
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Dec 20, 2012 08:47
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Mornacale posted:
I feel like this season is going to end in a Cultists-Bloggers final followed shortly thereafter by me getting committed to an insane asylum.
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Dec 20, 2012 09:49
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Time for a I'm destined for failure anyways, so let's make this amusing.
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Dec 20, 2012 16:54
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BearDrivingTruck posted:Time for a
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Dec 20, 2012 17:19
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ToiletofSadness posted:I mean, yeah, there's no way Neagle's going to go the whole season without giving up a run, but you might as well ride the hot hand until his luck runs out. No need to pull him until he regresses back to something more in line with his career numbers. ...So Neagle's doing fine-- it's just a matter of time/karma/luck running out? Huh, I guess I misunderstood Smasher's choice of words. Smasher, I will continue to ride the Neagle Train until it crashes and burns. edit: Holy poo poo, I just saw his ERA. What in the wide world of sports is going on?
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Dec 20, 2012 17:33
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We have glimpsed the future by flirting with rocket-cycles - let us embrace the past, perhaps that glorious October of 2001...B. If anyone feels their second baseman is an offensive sink, I have a 26 year old Bret Boone available - gold glove defense with decent power. He's not hitting 37 HR yet, but his bat always had some pop for a middle infielder.
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Dec 20, 2012 18:22
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A. Mark Grace is a man of the future. I'm confident in Andy Pettites ability to not suck. His first start was a quality one for crying out loud! Also Id like to remind everyone that I have a Derek Jeter for sale and that you should want him.
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Dec 20, 2012 18:47
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BearDrivingTruck posted:Time for a The most appropriate team name in the world.
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Dec 20, 2012 19:52
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Only five people voted for the obit? And after we discussed how you humoring about this was they only thing keeping me sane? I hate all of you. Dynamo League Week 4 Injury Report Rochester Generics Luis Tiant (SP) (Attempted to eat something called "Garbage Plate) - 15 days Luke Appling (SS) (Still has fragile ankles) - 102 days San Juan Elephants Jim Bunning (SP) (Curse of San Juan) - 26 days
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Dec 20, 2012 21:33
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Move Andy Messersmith to the #5 spot, move Ed Brandt to Long Relief.
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Dec 20, 2012 21:43
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Yikes. Alright let's nip this in the bud. Boot Steve Rogers to long relief, give Oswalt his spot in the rotation. Also, B.
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Dec 20, 2012 22:40
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The future! A
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Dec 20, 2012 22:59
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Flashback time! B
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Dec 20, 2012 23:05
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Smasher Dynamo posted:Only five people voted for the obit? And after we discussed how you humoring about this was they only thing keeping me sane? Oh, jeez, I was so excited about my slider changes that I forgot to say: The Bloggers take our 6-1 week, as well as the acquisition of our rightful players, as a sign that the Commissar's office has repented of their favoritism, and therefore will participate in the voting this week. We choose C, as it's clear that Mark Grace is famished.
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Dec 20, 2012 23:07
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C. Sledding and gyros. Sounds like a Grecian in Detroit type of obit to me!
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Dec 20, 2012 23:57
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Shadow gamer posted:
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Dec 21, 2012 00:16
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Line-Up
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Totally forgot to vote. C again.
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Dec 21, 2012 00:47
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I'm currently enjoying some time off work by liberally applying nicotine patches and forgetting how good smoking is, so I forgot to vote. Or read the question. gently caress it, C's usually the comedy answer, right?
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Dec 21, 2012 01:16
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mks5000 posted:Also Id like to remind everyone that I have a Derek Jeter for sale and that you should want him. I just spent 10 minutes negotiating a trade for jeter with tatankatonk thinking he was you it's me, I'm the smartest
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Dec 21, 2012 02:02
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Monicro posted:I just spent 10 minutes negotiating a trade for jeter with tatankatonk thinking he was you 
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Dec 21, 2012 02:09
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: Party people in the house, let's go
: To the jam, all in your face
: Everybody get up, it's time to slam now
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Hey Smasher. Your Cubs just put together a 52 million dollar contract for a slightly above-average innings-eater. What say you on this development?
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Dec 21, 2012 03:14
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cbx posted:Hey Smasher. Your Cubs just put together a 52 million dollar contract for a slightly above-average innings-eater. What say you on this development? EJax owns, Cubs own 
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Dec 21, 2012 03:18
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| # ? May 27, 2024 18:37 |
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 Super-League VIII, Smasher League Week 3: Mark Grace is done with all of you! Games of the Week Don May posted:
Box Score   Don May posted:
Box Score   Television Title Time! : Grumble...: That must mean it's time for another set Television Title Defenses!: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, first up, the Whalers, with two-defenses under their belt, will take on the Spokane Air Raids, who have had a surprisingly solid season so far. : Their hitters have really been on fire this season. I'm not sure it will last, but it's a good run so far. : Air Raids take the first one thanks to good hitting.: And that pitching has been apocalyptically bad, they need their hitting to be great, otherwise, they're dead. : And, there we go, the Air Raids hitting falters, and the Whalers take the win, making the final game of the series effectively a one-game contest for the Television Title.: Odd that King Felix got pulled after five innings but, then again, given that the Air Raids aren't really set up to win close games, it's understandable. : And the Air Raids will turn up their offense one more time, and they are the new Television Champions!: They should hope that these level of offense is sustainable, because their pitching does not look up to the task. : And the Air Raids won't have a chance to celebrate long, and it's already time for their first title defense against the New England Arguments.: The Arguments have an old Ted Williams, and old Mickey Mantle, and Snuffy! Who is probably a stuffed bear that plays baseball.: Well, looking at this statistics, I'd have to say that they're bad enough that a teddy bear probably could match them. And the Air Raids take the first game as Snuffy strikes out three times and makes an error. gently caress, he might actually be a teddy bear. : Well, this isn't over yet, Snuffy's got a few tricks up his sleeve! : Arguments take one back as they out-slug the Air Raids.: Greinke with a start right out of the '20s, eight runs given up, but still a complete game, and you wonder if the manager has any idea what he's doing.  : And the Air Raids' reign as Television Champions is over as the Arguments win the finale of the series 6-3 and become the new TV Champs!: The Air Raids were done in by their weak pitching as well as the magical power of Snuffy! Who is a hero, and a patriot, and- : Okay, we're done here! Two new champions this week, and the Arguments emerge from the chaos with the title. But their reign may not last long as the Whalers will get a chance to win the TV Title back next week and, depending on how that goes, we'll either then see Arguments-Eazy W's or Whalers-Gumshoes. It just might be exciting!Team Statistics      Analysis Kind of an up-and-down start to the season, although at least your players are hitting a decent number of home runs.      Analysis Why is your team doing so badly? Well, having to play each of the five returning teams in a row hasn't helped, and neither has the game's ill-will towards the young super-stars of the Nationals. The former will resolve itself in the coming weeks as the Commies move on to lesser competition. The latter? Well, you're going to have to grin and bear it.      Analysis None of your hitters can hit, and none of your pitchers can pitch. The law of averages says that this can't hold true for too much longer.      Analysis So, what are you going to do when your team stops hitting .322?      Analysis Are you a bad enough dude to win the Television Title again?      Analysis When Ryan gets his ERA below 9.00, then you'll be doing great...or better, at least.      Analysis It's a work in progress, even if Elmer Valo isn't even much good as a stopgap. But hey, look at Josh Gibson go!      Analysis I'd suggest you replace a bunch of your starting pitchers but, well, with what? But hey, at least you're a champion!      Analysis I've been told that you don't actually say 'y'all' that much in real-life. Clearly, to balance this out, I must have your fictional counterpart say it even more! Also, it's clear, looking at Moises Alou's stats, that pissing on your hands also works in the Super-League. Who knew?     Analysis At least things can't get much worse.      Analysis Well, when you consider that most of your starting hitters are batting below the Mendoza line, 7-10 is a fine record!      Analysis Like some sort of unstoppable baseball machine!      Analysis So, got a plan B?      Analysis On the plus side, you're doing better with the Suicides than you did with either the Homers or Gads!      Analysis Babe Ruth: three weeks, eight home runs! And he smoked a ton of cigars. Think about it.      Analysis The fact that you are doing this well is deeply confusing for me. I mainly blame myself for turning Mike Trout into the superstar he is, rather than the scrub Mogul thought he should be. Standings and Leaders     A. Dream of the Future! - 5 votes B. Dream of the Past! - 3 votes C. Dream of finally getting that gyros! - 4 votes  : Holy gently caress! You guys care that little about my awesome adventures that Smasher has to beg you to vote? Well, gently caress you! I'm out!Mark Grace sat back and pulled out his copy of today's Financial Times. He had had enough of this foolishness. Scanning the front page, he noticed a story about the growing popularity of the neo-fascist Golden Dawn in Greece. Mark shook his head, it wasn't uncommon for people, in times of economic stress, to resort to extremism, but this recession in Greece had, if not been created, then certainly exacerbated by the neo-liberal policies of the EU and German Chancellor Merkel. Amazing that, decades after Keynes, politicians thought that austerity was the answer. Grace grimaced, he had hoped that European Union would someday evolve into a legitimate, democratic organization but, as it stood, it was still essentially a shadowy cabal of neo-liberal technocrats, unconcerned with the plight of the common people. The Eurozone was little better than a glorified, European version of NAFTA if this was going to be how it governed. Greece had been a recession for three years now, and yet the merciless bureaucrats, ensconced in their ivory towers in Strasbourg, still demanded more cuts, less benefits. In a world where democracy had led to your country's fiscal policy being dictated by the Germans, no wonder the Greeks turned to the fascists. Grace noted that the story continued on page A-12... DECISION TIME! Will Mark Grace... A. Turn to A-12 to learn more about the rise of the Golden Dawn in Greece! B. Read the story on the front page about Berlusconi's political comeback! C. I totally read every loving jRPG LP without irony, but I find this baseball fanfiction to be totally lame and risible, but Mark Grace is such a lame character compared to Tidus...who I totally only like ironically!
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Dec 21, 2012 03:29
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