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Vargo posted:I just realized that the link you posted literally requires you to buy 240 necklaces minimum. I think we'll stick with Etsy on this one.
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Dec 10, 2012 10:27
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Rugoberta Munchu posted:What if I simply have that many necks? Or just plain want to wear that many necklaces? Jay Dub, the film critic version of Flava Flav. Complete with Marmaduke clock around his neck that farts out the hour and has someone groan, 'Oh, Marmaduke!' and that wah wah wahhhh horn effect.
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Dec 10, 2012 19:57
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John Dyne posted:Or just plain want to wear that many necklaces? Pretty sure you just described one of the layers of hell
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Dec 11, 2012 06:50
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Nucular Carmul posted:Pretty sure you just described one of the layers of hell Coming next season, my VH1 reality show Dogfarts of Love.
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Dec 11, 2012 07:05
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Rugoberta Munchu posted:The best screen name since TomWaitsForNoMan Holy poo poo.
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Dec 11, 2012 07:58
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Someone told me there was a Christmas Story 2 recently. I thought they were pulling my leg. After reading the review, I'm going to pretend that it doesn't exist, because I love A Christmas Story for all its weird, nostalgic charm. I still love that stupid lamp. I'm glad Ian didn't mention the fps stuff for The Hobbit. I also appreciated the bizarre little herring about the Necromancer.
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Dec 16, 2012 20:43
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I thought the first A Christmas Story was during the 1940's not the 1930's
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Dec 17, 2012 17:58
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Gray Garrison posted:I thought the first A Christmas Story was during the 1940's not the 1930's In A Christmas Story, Ralphie is 9. He's 15 in ACS2, which takes place in 1945, which puts the original in 1939. If ACS2 fucks up the timeline, well, I guess that's one more thing the film did wrong.
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Dec 17, 2012 18:04
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Jay Dub posted:In A Christmas Story, Ralphie is 9. He's 15 in ACS2, which takes place in 1945, which puts the original in 1939. Ralphie was 14 in Ollie Hopnoodle, which was set in the 50s (and should be watched instead of Christmas Story 2).
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Dec 20, 2012 07:42
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Unguided posted:Ralphie was 14 in Ollie Hopnoodle, which was set in the 50s (and should be watched instead of Christmas Story 2). That may be true, but ACS2 is the "official sequel", which makes Ollie Hopnoodle basically a Jean Shepard Elseworlds story. 
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Dec 20, 2012 13:18
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Unguided posted:Ralphie was 14 in Ollie Hopnoodle, which was set in the 50s (and should be watched instead of Christmas Story 2). Is this the movie with the battling tops? I swear I remember watching an older Ralphie and some other boy battling tops, but I'm not sure if I'm confusing it with another story or if the whole thing was just an old fever dream.
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Dec 20, 2012 23:43
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Vargo's End of Year Report, 2011: "All of the movies are crazy! The world is a hosed up place!" Vargo's End of Year Report, 2012: "We're all going to die alone and afraid!" Vargo's End of Year Report, 2013 (projected): "I've got a gun and I'm taking you fuckers with me!"
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Dec 30, 2012 19:52
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Sheldrake posted:Vargo's End of Year Report, 2011: "All of the movies are crazy! The world is a hosed up place!" I half expected this to become a "Chewy Meats" joke.
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Dec 30, 2012 20:52
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Sean's review of Django Unchained is right on the money, although I compared Stephen to Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks instead of Bill Cosby. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that Tupac/James Brown mashup was out of place and that there were weird incest vibes between Candie and his sister. Like Vargo, I went to a big-time theater college (a couple years ago it was ranked #1 by Princeton Review for theater and the theater people there would break out into song with little or no provocation), so I was a little interested to hear the critique of Les Miserables among my college theater friends. It was not so much about how good the movie was, but how the actors performed in their roles. It was mostly positive, although they hated one of the male parts whose actor and role I didn't even bother remembering. Prof. Clumsy's piece about the hivemind mentality of movie criticism is right on the money. Case in point: this piece about The Grey "inexplicably" being on the New York Times' top 10 movies of the year list. Good piece to end the year, guys.
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Dec 30, 2012 22:53
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I'm glad that both Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter and Battleship is given its due attention in two year-end retrospectives.
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Dec 30, 2012 23:54
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TheBigBudgetSequel posted:I half expected this to become a "Chewy Meats" joke. 2014 End of Year Report.
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Dec 31, 2012 00:14
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Ian, Ian, Ian... Every time I read a single paragraph from you it's like I'm reading the livejournal of some 17 year old who thinks he has the world all figured out. Keep up the good work!
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Dec 31, 2012 01:14
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The Blackest Goon posted:Ian, Ian, Ian... Every time I read a single paragraph from you it's like I'm reading the livejournal of some 17 year old who thinks he has the world all figured out. You're not Michael Yerkovic, are you?
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Dec 31, 2012 06:46
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I'm going to be interested in your review of Hyde Park on Hudson. I'm surprised you haven't reviewed it yet, considering it's obviously Oscar bait,and it has Bill Murray (who owns, objectively). I usually look to your reviews before heading out to the movies, but I decided to check it out based solely on the fact that the trailers looked good. Fortunately it turned out to be a fantastic movie, and my mom (who I wanted to take to a non-violent film) loved it. I've been noticing a trend of popular biographies of famous leaders during difficult times. The King's Speech, Lincoln, and Hyde Park on Hudson. Perhaps thanks to the current economic crisis and uncertainty around the world, people are harkening back to the times when we had (perceived) stronger leaders willing to set fire to Southerners/Fascists. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this. Sort of like the spate of WWII movies/videogames following 9/11.
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Jan 2, 2013 10:06
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Even though I didn't totally agree with the wrap up of this year's movies on Current Releases, I find their insight valuable and generally fantastic. Congratulations, 2012 Current Releases. Even when I partially disagree with you, I see where all you reviewers are coming from and your valid criticisms. Keep it up! And because of you I'm going to watch Battleship with an open mind, which prior to now I would have imagined involving an act of God.
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Jan 4, 2013 00:54
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In case the editors check this, they should know that the link for the line "iconic shot from the original" in the Texas Chainsaw 3D review is broken. Props to Sean for sitting through that abysmal film. I'm not going near it. I watched a two minute clip and that alone was enough to turn me away.
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Jan 6, 2013 19:01
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No movie of the week this time around?
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Jan 13, 2013 22:54
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I noticed there was none last week, also, although I took it as more of a statement on their low quality overall.
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Jan 13, 2013 22:58
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Is it just me, or did the style of the score box change?
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Jan 13, 2013 23:06
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Interesting. If you take Army of Darkness as "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court & Zombies", Sam Raimi was ahead of the curve by about twenty years. Also, forget Hansel & Gretel, how the gently caress did Movie 43 get made? Did the producers have pictures of all those stars loving goats?
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Jan 27, 2013 16:19
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Senior Woodchuck posted:Also, forget Hansel & Gretel, how the gently caress did Movie 43 get made? Did the producers have pictures of all those stars loving goats? That's the only logical explanation, although loving a goat is less embarrassing than being in Movie 43.
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Jan 27, 2013 17:15
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Ammat The Ankh posted:Is it just me, or did the style of the score box change? The style of everything changed, the front page took a Web 2.0 upgrade.
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Jan 27, 2013 18:40
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This site's review of Movie 43 is literally the first time I have ever heard of the film. Now, I find myself suspecting that this movie doesn't exist and that Vargo made it up for a joke review. Good one, Vargo. You had me going for a while, but you went way over the top. Seriously, that many famous actors in the kind of movie you described? If you're going to make stuff up, you need at least try to make it believable. Still, pretty funny prank on your part, right? Right? E: And by Vargo I meant Clumsy, but it's easier for me to believe that you're all in on this than to accept that this movie is real. Command Ant fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Jan 27, 2013 |
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Jan 27, 2013 20:15
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Command Ant posted:This site's review of Movie 43 is literally the first time I have ever heard of the film. Now, I find myself suspecting that this movie doesn't exist and that Vargo made it up for a joke review. That was Professor Clumsy, not me. And let me assure you, Clumsy never jokes about anything. Not. Ever.
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Jan 27, 2013 20:18
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Senior Woodchuck posted:Also, forget Hansel & Gretel, how the gently caress did Movie 43 get made? Did the producers have pictures of all those stars loving goats? Then again, maybe Kentucky Fried Movie isn't the best movie to emulate, seeing as one of the sketches is about a daredevil performing the dangerous stunt of shouting "Niggers!" at a group of black men playing dice. Maybe if Movie 43 had a sketch with an excuse to show lots of boobs like KFM did, it would be remembered more fondly.
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Jan 27, 2013 20:27
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KFM's enter the dragon parody was fantastic. I would be interested in hearing from the zucker brothers what their vision was, and when they realized it was going to be absolute irredeemable dogshit, and that it was either slap on an Alan Smithee or get out.
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Jan 27, 2013 22:31
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Y-Hat posted:They were probably trying to make Kentucky Fried Movie for a new group of theater-goers. In fact, the Zucker brothers (two of the three people behind KFM) were the original directors for Movie 43 along with Trey Parker and Matt Stone, but both duos dropped out at some point early on. Now that I think about it, the "character on TV watches two people in reality loving" bit was done in Kentucky Fried Movie, too.
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Jan 28, 2013 01:37
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Senior Woodchuck posted:Now that I think about it, the "character on TV watches two people in reality loving" bit was done in Kentucky Fried Movie, too. And Amazon Women on the Moon, too.
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Jan 28, 2013 04:14
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Oddly the amount of scorn Movie 43 received in that review has just roused my interest in watching it. How can you possibly miss out on seeing a film sincerely suggested to be the worst movie ever made?
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Jan 28, 2013 17:32
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I'm sad that Bob Odenkirk was, once again, somehow suckered into directing another subpar comedy (or at least one of the segments in it).
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Jan 28, 2013 17:59
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Basically Hansel and Gretel is just like this article said it would be, plus diabetes jokes? Really, I don't even want to watch it for "So bad, you just HAVE to watch it" novelty. I already tried that with Dead Snow and I still remember that as time wasted.
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Jan 28, 2013 19:27
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Dolash posted:Oddly the amount of scorn Movie 43 received in that review has just roused my interest in watching it. How can you possibly miss out on seeing a film sincerely suggested to be the worst movie ever made? You'll regret it.
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Jan 28, 2013 19:35
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Speedboat Jones posted:Basically Hansel and Gretel is just like this article said it would be, plus diabetes jokes? Pretty much. "He wasted her with a special move!" is basically the whole movie in a nutshell.
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Jan 28, 2013 19:53
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Hansel & Gretel managed to get to #1 last weekend, surprisingly. That said, it's not exactly blockbuster movie time now.
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Jan 29, 2013 09:42
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Somebody at Magnet/Magnolia apparently read Keanu Grieves' review this week, because now they're following us on Twitter. Which is a first, I think.
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Jan 29, 2013 21:03
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