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Crazy Old Clarice posted:
Oh, I'm not just sitting around crying or impatient, it's just I get these feelings sometimes. Case in point about present being hilarious - we didn't have a good time with Santa photos today: 
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Dec 22, 2012 03:17
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ChloroformSeduction posted:It's weird. I have these moments where I tear up a little looking at tiny baby pictures, or coming across old clothing (or seeing other babies, and realizing that my kid used to be that small), but then I have other times where I can't wait until we can do awesome stuff like rides at Disneyworld, or snowboard/surfing and go to rad museums and stuff. It's a weird combination of feelings. Yeah pretty much the only thing I missed about Chris being a tiny baby was that he slept all day and I could sit on my butt and watch TV. Now I can't do that without him climbing all over me and trying to steal my drink so he can spill it all over the place.
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Dec 22, 2012 04:11
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ChloroformSeduction posted:we didn't have a good time with Santa photos today: That is the greatest Santa picture!
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Dec 22, 2012 06:02
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 This is what happened when we went to see Santa - was honestly kind of expecting it. He was a lovely Santa anyway, dude had a bum arm and was really mailing it in, not talking to the kids or anything. Before we even had a kid I was pretty sure I didn't want to lie to my child about Santa but my wife is all about doing everything that she did as a kid so we're going to compromise somehow when the time comes. Speaking of compromise, have any of you dealt with situation where your partner wants to give your kid something sugary and you are not for it? I don't mean like a cookie here or there, but on our daughter's first birthday she wants to make her a cake (her family tradition as well) but I don't particularly see the need to sugar up my kid when her taste preferences are forming (she is already getting finnicky and she started out a great eater) when she isn't asking for it and will not even remember it.
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Dec 23, 2012 07:10
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rio posted:Speaking of compromise, have any of you dealt with situation where your partner wants to give your kid something sugary and you are not for it? I don't mean like a cookie here or there, but on our daughter's first birthday she wants to make her a cake (her family tradition as well) but I don't particularly see the need to sugar up my kid when her taste preferences are forming (she is already getting finnicky and she started out a great eater) when she isn't asking for it and will not even remember it. Chill. One cake is not going to ruin your kid for life. Besides, it makes for hilarious pictures. Edit: Now with bonus example  Lyz fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Dec 23, 2012 |
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Dec 23, 2012 13:34
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rio posted:
I can't see how a piece of cake would do more damage than the occasional cookie.  Edit: If it bothers you that much could you suggest a healthy cake recipe? My sister made me a chocolate cake with beetroot once. It was disgusting, but looked the part. hookerbot 5000 fucked around with this message at 15:40 on Dec 23, 2012 |
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Dec 23, 2012 14:22
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rio posted:Speaking of compromise, have any of you dealt with situation where your partner wants to give your kid something sugary and you are not for it? I don't mean like a cookie here or there, but on our daughter's first birthday she wants to make her a cake (her family tradition as well) but I don't particularly see the need to sugar up my kid when her taste preferences are forming (she is already getting finnicky and she started out a great eater) when she isn't asking for it and will not even remember it. Not my partner, but my in-laws were always trying to get me to give my daughter foods that were not only unhealthy, but more importantly, developmentally inappropriate. They were really trying to talk me into letting her have cake and ice cream when she was barely four months old. I put my foot down on that one. That being said, it's her BIRTHDAY and there's no harm in letting her enjoy a little cake. I can practically guarantee that way more of it will end up all over her face, hands, and hair than actually in her mouth. You worry too much, rio. 
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Dec 23, 2012 14:41
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Cake is delicious. Don't be a hater. http://imgur.com/50gMC http://imgur.com/tz6Xc
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Dec 23, 2012 14:51
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rio posted:Speaking of compromise, have any of you dealt with situation where your partner wants to give your kid something sugary and you are not for it? I don't mean like a cookie here or there, but on our daughter's first birthday she wants to make her a cake (her family tradition as well) but I don't particularly see the need to sugar up my kid when her taste preferences are forming (she is already getting finnicky and she started out a great eater) when she isn't asking for it and will not even remember it. 1. Talk to your wife about it, not the Internet. 2. Why do you think that having cake once, on her birthday, is going to make your daughter crave sugar ravenously to the exclusion of all other foods? If she otherwise doesn't get sugary foods, wouldn't relenting and not being a dick about your wife following family tradition on her birthday BE a compromise? Or does compromise mean "I get my way and my wife acts happy about it"?
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Dec 23, 2012 15:25
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It's also normal for taste preferences to change, since you talked about that. It's a part of expressing desires.
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Dec 23, 2012 15:28
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Schweig und tanze posted:1. Talk to your wife about it, not the Internet. Chill, folks. That said, cake dat babby up.
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Dec 23, 2012 15:28
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Cake is delicious. I think my kid ate one bite tops, though. It's normal for kids to become pickier as they get older. At one, my daughter would try anything; at two I have to bribe her to even take a TASTE of most stuff. You have to look at their diet over the course of a week moreso than a day alone. Some days all I can get her to eat is noodles and goldfish crackers, but then there are days she'll eat steak and broccoli.
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Dec 23, 2012 16:06
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My son is turning 1 this week and I'm excited to have him eat cake that I made. I've been to his friends' birthday parties, usually the kids eat a few bites and then throw the rest on the floor. I think you should go for it.
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Dec 23, 2012 17:18
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Fair enough, just didn't know if anyone else thought it might be kind of unnecessary when it was something she wouldn't remember. We went to a friend's first birthday party for their daughter and the kid stared at the cake, her eyes widened an she started bawling and wanted nothing to do with it. It was pretty funny.
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Dec 23, 2012 17:43
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We had mini-cupcakes at my daughter's 1st birthday party and she just tore it to pieces. I don't think she knew what to do with it. And like other kids, Amelia became a picky eater. There are days she'll only eat corn-on-the-cob and Gerber crunchies. From what I understand, we were all like this and we're not horrible eaters... Right?
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Dec 23, 2012 17:46
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Chris ate a respectable chunk of cake (german chocolate from a box and plain white frosting from a tub) and crashed for a two hour nap a half hour later. It didn't turn him into a whirlwind or a sugar addict. You can always look at milder options. I went with german chocolate so we could have a cake that was chocolatey without being too rich and it was pretty popular.
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Dec 23, 2012 17:52
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Cake on birthdays is pretty standard. I don't see how it's a problem. Inlaws feeding crappy food all the time though? That's a different story. Going to visit his dad's relatives was pretty trying. "Oh, you can't raise kids without french fries, I ordered these just for him!" Seriously? He's not even 18 months, and you think that french fries and ice cream are something he should be eating every day? Of course, most of the cousins on that side are pretty obese (think a 250lb 11 year old  ), so I'm not really confident in their nutritional expertise.
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Dec 23, 2012 19:33
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The kidlet may not eat or remember the cake, but her mom will always remember making her daughter's first birthday cake.  Speaking of food--my daughter's preschool class made a cookbook with a "recipe" dictated by each little kid. It was hilarious. And of course there were some that I'm sure embarrassed the hell out of the parents. One little girl's recipe was for fishsticks, frozen and eaten with your fingers. I'm sure her parents saw that and thought of all the real meals they'd made for for her, but no, everyone gets to know about the frozen fishsticks.
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Dec 23, 2012 21:13
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rio posted:Fair enough, just didn't know if anyone else thought it might be kind of unnecessary when it was something she wouldn't remember. By that logic, why give her a birthday at all? She won't remember her first birthday, why bother? Because it's for US, for them, because we love them. We love them, that's why we give them first birthday parties, and bake them cakes. Your wife wants to bake her baby's first birthday cake and enjoy watching her enjoy it--or destroy it, or throw it, or poke it, or whatever. Enjoy it with her, don't try to find fault where there is none. That whole, giving them sweets will make them just want sweets mentality is just a myth. We are already programmed to like sweet things; breastmilk is very sweet, sticky sweet. Sugar also doesn't make kids hyper--there's been studies, and that's a myth. As far as diet goes, I'm with ChloroformSeduction; feeding them a steady diet of chicken nuggets and fries, to the exclusion of all else, is a much bigger recipe for disaster than birthday cake ever will be.
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Dec 23, 2012 22:32
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I wasn't saying to not have a birthday party or do anything for her because she wouldn't remember it. I was concerned about something that has no nutritional content and is not only benign but bad for you that a lot of kids have problems with. I was a terrible eater when I was a kid partially due to my grandmother who would let me have everything that I shouldn't have every time I saw her. Eventually I would go on hunger strikes until my parents gave in and I guess I am just coming from that experience when considering things like sweets. I think cutting then off completely is a bad thing, though, and just wanted some input from other parents about the cake thing.
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Dec 23, 2012 23:49
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rio posted:I wasn't saying to not have a birthday party or do anything for her because she wouldn't remember it. I was concerned about something that has no nutritional content and is not only benign but bad for you that a lot of kids have problems with. I was a terrible eater when I was a kid partially due to my grandmother who would let me have everything that I shouldn't have every time I saw her. Eventually I would go on hunger strikes until my parents gave in and I guess I am just coming from that experience when considering things like sweets. I think cutting then off completely is a bad thing, though, and just wanted some input from other parents about the cake thing. I really don't want to sound like I'm getting at you, but not minding giving your daughter occasional treats but drawing then a hard line on birthday cake - a once a year traditional treat that is very common - seems a little bit contrary.
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Dec 24, 2012 00:10
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rio posted:I wasn't saying to not have a birthday party or do anything for her because she wouldn't remember it. I was concerned about something that has no nutritional content and is not only benign but bad for you that a lot of kids have problems with. I was a terrible eater when I was a kid partially due to my grandmother who would let me have everything that I shouldn't have every time I saw her. Eventually I would go on hunger strikes until my parents gave in and I guess I am just coming from that experience when considering things like sweets. I think cutting then off completely is a bad thing, though, and just wanted some input from other parents about the cake thing. Being worried enough to post on the internet about giving your child cake one time is much more detrimental than the cake will be. Remember, some kids eat bugs and some kids drink soda and they're still ok.
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Dec 24, 2012 01:29
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rio posted:I wasn't saying to not have a birthday party or do anything for her because she wouldn't remember it. I was concerned about something that has no nutritional content and is not only benign but bad for you that a lot of kids have problems with. I was a terrible eater when I was a kid partially due to my grandmother who would let me have everything that I shouldn't have every time I saw her. Eventually I would go on hunger strikes until my parents gave in and I guess I am just coming from that experience when considering things like sweets. I think cutting then off completely is a bad thing, though, and just wanted some input from other parents about the cake thing. Serious question - Are you fat? I am and for the first few years I was over the top anal about sugar and zero nutritional food but I realized that my kid wasn't going to turn into a fellow fatty just by having the occasional cookie or cake. We consistently get told by our kids teachers that we send very healthy lunches and they wish other parents did likewise, but he also gets to eat his halloween candy and this christmas he's totally filling his face with baked goods and candy canes. It's a good thing.
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Dec 24, 2012 01:36
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I think it can be hard to strike a balance. I know that I grew up in a house with a mom constantly on a diet, and it messed me up around food for years. My ex sister-in-law's kids are elementary age, and at least one of their little friends is terribly restricted at home. Result? Whenever she's at my ex SIL's house, she runs to the pantry looking for "good food", and starts gorging on whatever she can find, while promising not to tell her mom. She's 8. The same kid brings her own all organic bullshit cupcakes to parties and the like, and has to walk home across the street to get her own organic milk during snacks, she's not allowed conventional milk. Then you have kids that eat nothing but french fries and microwave pizzas. Not much better. Sometimes community centres and the like offer free workshops with dieticians on feeding toddlers and babies, which might be of use. Here they're offered at Whole Foods as well, and they're totally free. Maybe there's something like that in your area.
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Dec 24, 2012 02:35
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hookerbot, I see where you are coming from I guess the line I was drawing for myself was that of her asking for something vs. being given something that she would not even remember. Canuckistan - I am not fit but not fat as in obese. Around 200 right now, 6'1. My dad was always dieting, people ask if my mom is anorexic due to her food self restriction, her mom/my grandma was very heavy to the point of it quickening the end of her life by not being able to walk. A lot of issues, and I do not want my daughter to have any of them. ChloroformSeduction - thanks for the food for thought (hehhhhhh) Thank you all for the advice and sorry for the derail!
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Dec 24, 2012 03:59
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Hello thread, My husband just told me I am a bad mother. This December, we had one of those calendars where each day (evening in our case) you open a window and you get a chocolate, my 2yo had a blast. Now, my obese MIL arrived with tons of cookies and I am not so happy that cookies is the first thing that my kid eats in the morning. My husband thus accused me of being a bad mother for spoiling the fun. He's also overweight. His aunt is morbidly obese an her legs open up due to diabetes. I don't want my kids to turn up like his side of the family in case they got the fat genes. I am slender but I eat normally, occasionnally pigging out on fast food. How bad of a mother am I? MIL is staying 3 weeks. Kiddo is getting chocolate cake for birthday (it's ok for me, we'll get great pictures to shame him in his adulthood). I am freaking out about the 3 weeks of sweets, and being called a bad mother. Also MIL wears tons of perfume (actually the perfume wears her) and makes me feel dizzy and my husband says I am imagining it. Can perfume be dangerous for a 4 months old? She uses up a 60ml (2 fl oz) bottle in 1 to 2 weeks. randomfuss fucked around with this message at 11:39 on Dec 24, 2012 |
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Dec 24, 2012 11:36
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Ughh.. poor you First, you're not a bad mom. Even if your kid ate cookies for three weeks it's not going to turn Kido into a little butterball. However you're their mom and you get equal say about what goes into their mouths. Compromise is the name of the game here. Make a deal that there's good food before treats. The perfume is easy. She needs to stop wearing them and you need to tell your husband that he needs to deal with her. It's up to your husband to stand by your side on these things, even if he doesn't really believe in them.
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Dec 24, 2012 13:41
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I have a "just curious" kinda question. Do/did any of you have children that had hemangiomas? I've read about them and such but was curious to know how long it actually took them to disappear. 1-9 years is what everything says but I've never talked to anyone that had real experience with them, just what the books and dr's say. My son Carter, who is 13 mos, has three and one is in his nostril and it makes me worry he can't breathe sometimes, because it blocks half his nostril. Now I know I'm being paranoid because neither his doctor nor my sister, who is a neo natal nurse practitioner, say its a problem. Still though, I wish the one in his nose would go away so I can stop living in fear that he'll suffocate at night. You can sorta see it on his left nostril there...  He was the tidiest little cake eater I've ever seen. almightyerin fucked around with this message at 14:46 on Dec 24, 2012 |
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Dec 24, 2012 14:43
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I would worry more about the precedent of cookies first thing in the morning and the whine fest when it stops than fat genes. Also, kids need solid fuel to run on, or you're going to have one cranky child in the afternoons. Since it's three weeks, I think it's more than fair to say the kid needs to at least be offered some real food at meal times and allowed to consume it in peace before the cookies are brought out. And, some people are more sensitive to perfumes than others. I wouldn't get your kid involved, just regretfully say that her lovely perfume is triggering your allergies and could she please not use it while staying under your roof.
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Dec 24, 2012 14:46
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Your husband accusing you of being a bad mother - I'd get a grip on that situation right away. That's a really hurtful, lovely thing for your partner to do. It's not healthy to start name-calling and for most mothers that's a really low blow since we have that internal voice questioning our parenting decisions all day long. Plus, siding with his mom over you - there's no way I'd let that slide without a serious conversation. I also would not want my kid eating cookies first thing and it's not unreasonable to say "no treats until after lunch". I don't think 3 weeks of cookies is going to magically turn a kid fat but like Poison Cake said, you are in for a huge whining mess when your MIL goes home and the morning cookie fix runs dry.
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Dec 24, 2012 15:52
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Telling you that you're a bad mom is a lovely thing to say all on it's own, and is totally out of bounds. You're owed an apology for that BS, randomfuss. I totally agree with hepscat that it's a low blow, and it's one designed to hurt your feelings enough and to undermine your confidence in what you know is right. Personally, I think 3 weeks of junk food overload IS a big deal, and isn't something that I'd be willing to overlook in the name of family peace. I've recently and drastically changed how I eat though, so maybe that's a battle that I would take on, where other parents wouldn't. I think it's extremely important to model healthy eating, to talk about the healthy foods I like to my kid, and to make sure that he is surrounded by healthy options. I was a fat teenager and fat all through my 20s, until we moved a few years ago and made some big lifestyle changes. My husband also grew up as a fat kid. I hated being fat, and I hated myself. I hated that the rest of my family ate junk all the time, and I was still the only fat one in the family. I have years of my life with almost no photos of me because I hated the way I looked so much. Took me awhile to get things sorted out, and I hate that I wasted so much of my life hiding. My husband feels similarly, which is why we feel it's so important that we don't pass on lovely eating habits to our son. Turns out my parents were only thin-looking because they had serious underlying health problems, and my athletic brother became a lazy fatty in college. Moving to a whole new culture helped me see that the way we were eating (just a traditional Western diet) was NOT actually normal or health-promoting, despite how totally common and normal it seemed at the time. Enough about me, I guess; this isn't e/n, after all. I just know that family food culture is one of the really deep-seated things that kids absorb from their families, and it makes a difference in your life's trajectory before you even know enough to challenge or change it. It's more comfortable to ignore it than to look at it critically, and start denying ourselves delicious stuff that we want, but probably shouldn't be eating. I think the obese-MIL in question here does think that cookies everyday is a normal indulgence, and isn't a big deal. You're not a bad mom for being annoyed about the cookies, and knowing that it's a bad road to go down. You might get some traction with a "Help me encourage and model healthy eating to the kids"-angle, and I think it's worth a shot. MoCookies fucked around with this message at 16:31 on Dec 24, 2012 |
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Dec 24, 2012 16:27
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It sounds like you're going to be in for a stressful three weeks You're not a bad mum, you just want to make sure your kids are eating healthily. I'm not anti treats for kids by any means but if someone gave my kids loads of cookies first thing in the morning I would know the knock on effect that would have both to their eating during the rest of the day and in their expectations of what meals are. Could you talk to your husband about a compromise of getting a cookie after dinner if your daughter eats a reasonable amount? But if he actually called you a bad mother then that's probably going to be a big conversation to have too. I can't imagine how I'd feel if my husband said that to me. I don't know about the perfume thing, maybe your husband has become immune to it. I think a four month old would cry and act distressed though if they were affected by it but I really have no idea.
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Dec 24, 2012 16:46
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Every one covered the cookie situation, but that perfume poo poo is awful. I get headaches around strong scents and it has amplified since having a baby. It's totally ok to tell her to cut it out while she stays there. My MIL does the same thing, and I tolerate it because she just lives around the corner and only stops in for a few hours at a time, but I'd ask her to cut it out if she were in my home for three weeks.
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Dec 24, 2012 18:55
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Any constipation tricks for a not-quite 7 month old? We are giving her prune juice in her formula and feeding her prunes, per doctor's suggestion, but her turds are still hard.
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Dec 24, 2012 20:20
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randomfuss posted:My husband thus accused me of being a bad mother for spoiling the fun. "Fun" would be okay for 2-3 days, I mean it's a grandma's job to spoil the kid and give them all the good stuff Mom doesn't let them have, but consistently for three weeks? Put your foot down on that poo poo. No cookies until after they've had a good, solid breakfast, and then maybe only one between then and lunch. Who cares if you're being "no fun," you're looking out for your child, not your husband and MIL. And I don't think it's unreasonable to ask her to tone back the perfume in YOUR house.
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Dec 24, 2012 20:45
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For anyone doing Santa tonight, this has always been a fun website http://www.noradsanta.org/en/track.html and Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic day
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Dec 24, 2012 21:03
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almightyerin--Hemangioma stuff... Tim had one on the top of his head. It faded completely by about 18 months. My ped said 90+% of them go away on their own by kindergarten. A friend of mine's daughter had several all about her trunk and the last one faded the summer before kindergarten. I wouldn't sweat it.  Cute babby! Echoing hookerbot, a Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good bedtime tonight!
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Dec 24, 2012 22:25
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Santa's cookies and milk are made up and the little dude is in bed. Life is good. Time for a big ol rum and eggnog.
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Dec 25, 2012 00:23
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Am I the only one who swears accidentally in front of the kids, then has to spend the next week reminding them that saying "gently caress" is not okay?
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Dec 25, 2012 05:24
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Oxford Comma posted:Am I the only one who swears accidentally in front of the kids, then has to spend the next week reminding them that saying "gently caress" is not okay? I do that allllll the time. I have a pretty foul mouth, and I usually manage to control it, but sometimes I slip. Our most memorable "gently caress" incident was one time I stubbed my toe. The next few days were spent stopping the kid from going "gently caress! gently caress! gently caress!" all the time.
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Dec 25, 2012 17:32
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