BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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«‹›1996 »

Archie Goodwin: Jan 2, 2012; Using intelligence guided by experience since 1934.

Voting B because hunger can make a man humble himself, and even soothe the savage coyotecoon.

Has it been decided what teams are the draft pool?

# ? Dec 26, 2012 22:17

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# ? May 12, 2024 22:06

Warm Sarsaparilla: Jan 3, 2012

D, grab spit of meat, then flee.

Looking forward to seeing what new avenues of disappointment my lads will venture down this evening.

# ? Dec 26, 2012 22:57

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Not sure if you missed this last time or not. Send down Henderson and Oswalt, call up Roberts and Felsch.

New rotation: Alexander-Clemens-Vaughn-Lester-Roberts.

New lineup:

code:

CF - Lankford
C - Lombardi (Berra catches for Lester)
RF - Berkman
LF - McCovey
DH - Youkilis
1B - Gonzalez
2B - Pedroia
3B - Molitor
SS - Rollins

Voting B for the obit.

# ? Dec 26, 2012 23:04

Giovanni_Sinclair: Apr 25, 2009; It was on this day that his greatest enemy defeated, the true lord of darkness arose. His name? MARIO.

Am voting for A as that is the best choice.

# ? Dec 26, 2012 23:55

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League VIII, Dynamo League Week 6: You're Totally Allowed to Like this LP Ironically!

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

UNICORNS EDGE DERVISHES 6-5

Cleveland- The Unicorns may be perennial runners-up, but at least they're consistent.

With today's 6-5 win, the Unicorns kept within striking distance of the Finger-Bangers in the Sic Transit Vir Division, and with a series between the two teams looming in two weeks time, that was essential.

Even better, the manner in which they won could not help to build their team's confidence. In the bottom of the ninth, with Rollie Fingers, the same Fingers that Marauder uses in the bullpen of the Bangers, on the mound for the Dervishes and the game tied, the Unicorns finally struck. After a Furcal strikeout to start the inning, Billy Herman singled and then stole second. Two batters later, Mark McGwire hit a double to score Herman and win the game.

IceMole, still not entirely comfortable with his team's destruction of expansion teams so that they might live for another season, explained why he did what he did. "Over the five-plus seasons that I have battled the Finger-Bangers, many, many teams have gotten caught up in our death struggle and have died as a result. Their hopes, their dreams, dashed upon the rocks of my team. Would that there was another team that could step in, take my place and finally defeat the Finger-Bangers...but, over five seasons, only one team has defeated the Bangers for the division crown, kept them out of the playoffs and exposed them to the cold blade of the Gauntlet...and that is us. If we could give up, if we could leave the grim task of vengeance to another, if we could find that team that would take up our sword and jab it into the heart of the Finger-Bangers, we would. But there is no other team. Only we can do that. And that is why, while it breaks my heart to do this damage to an up-and-coming team like the Dervishes, we have no real choice in that matter. I am sorry, Beet, but this is how it must be."

As has become custom, Stan Musial accompanied Beet to the post-game press conference and did all of the talking, "Beet wishes you all to know that he is pleased with his offensive performance today, as it showed a sort of potential that he has been looking for." Musial began, before furrowing his brow and continuing, "However, the pitching does leave something to be desired. Noodles the Pitcher, you have disappointed your master, and it is only the injury to Gaylord Perry that spares you from a truly dismal fate." Musial then conferred silently with Beet for a moment, "As for the Unicorns, Beet wishes them to know that their concern for our well-being is unnecessary and that we will bury them."

Box Score

Don May posted:

MARAUDER RUINS SPACE JAM, ELEPHANTS 14-2

Fukuoka- Every starter on the Bangers got a hit, and the Elephants fell apart as the Finger-Bangers completed a three-game sweep of the Elephants in Fukuoka today.

This was especially distressing to the Elephants who, despite activating the Space Jam, has now lost seven straight games, as both the Losers and Finger-Bangers swept them this week, leading to a lot of questions for the San Juan club without many answers.

"If we cannot trust in the Space Jam, the most miraculous of all jams, the power of Michael Jordan fortified with the glory of the Looney Tunes, then perhaps we are lost. I have done much thinking on this matter, and it occurs to me that, after searching the ancient scrolls, that there may be an impurity in the Space Jam Matrix. Consider how the movie Space Jam included the new character "Lola Bunny", who appeared to be an unfortunate attempt by Warner Bros. to introduce a female Looney Toon. Clearly, because of this impurity, my Space Jam has been cursed, and my team is no certainly doomed! Doomed, I say! All is lost! All is lost!"

Marauder was surprisingly furious at this, "I never thought that I would see a day like this one! When my dark arts and cruel strategy is so denigrated, so besmirched! I have toppled more franchises than any other man, but, suddenly, my power is subordinate to some sort of anthropomorphized doe? I killed their team! Me! It was all me and my unstoppable horde! And if tatankatonk doesn't apologize soon...then I'll kill then again and again until he learns his lesson, because there is only one curse in this Super-League, and that curse is me!"

Box Score

Always Hardcore

: Welcome back to-

: Smasher, we've got a three man booth!

: That's right! Three! That's one better than two!

: ...

: Okay, you're stunned into silence...is this the good stunned, or the 'I'm going to get Yoshida deported again' stunned.

: The Unspecifieds win their first game against the Bloggers, and let's hope they can pull this off.

: Still don't like the Bloggers, eh?

: They're a lot of work for me.

: drat it! The Bloggers were supposed to lose! Why did I agree to give them Old Hoss Radbourn! He's like some sort of unstoppable pitching machine!

: Like the strike-o-matic?

: Man, that was a good LP, people really seemed to connect with it, unlike...other baseball LPs.

: Okay, everyone just shut up! The Unspecifieds can still pull this off.

: gently caress! gently caress! gently caress! gently caress! gently caress! gently caress! gently caress!

: Wow, hell of a game from Chief Bender.

: And just think how good he'll be after Mornacale finally makes that challenge.

: THAT'S NOT HOW THE CHALLENGE SYSTEM WORKS!

: Okay, that's it, it's time to call in the professionals to clear this up! Oranges, I hate you guys too, but it's time that you actually did something right for once!

: I don't think, they've been down this season.

: Yeah, their team is definitely a candidate for an infusion of the Big D! And did you know that there will be two Adam Dunns available in the Super-Draft?

: That's horrifying, and the Oranges will win Game 1, thanks to some Pujols magic, much like the magic he used to shave two years off of his birth certificate. Allegedly.

: And the Bloggers' reign of terror is over, thanks to some good bullpen pitching and Ichiro Suzuki.

: That doesn't bode well for the future of the Oranges, though, especially since Suzuki is the only good hitter they seem to have this year.

: Well, until they draft the The Chosen Dunn.

: But if there are two in the draft, wouldn't it be "A" Chosen Dunn. Or is only one of them "chosen" or-

: Eri, Adam Dunn is so amazing that his plate discipline destroy the very structures of grammar, reducing language to just so many grunts and squeaks.

: Is...is that a good thing?

: And Old Hoss will win another game. That doesn't augur well since the Unspecs aren't exactly the strongest division leader in the world.

: Well, wouldn't that be good?

: Yeah, aren't people happier when Expansion teams do better?

: Not like this....not like this...

: And that will do it. Oranges are the new champions, and they'll take on the Bangers next week. If they win, the Unspecs will get another shot at the Hardcore Title, if not the Bangers will pummel the Imperialists into the ground.

Team Statistics

Analysis

And Neagle begins his fiery crash back to Earth.

Analysis

Maybe Hornsby just hates you. Also, maybe bring in Bridges for Cliff Lee.

Analysis

All aboard the pain train! Next stop: Relegation-land! And your ticket has been paid in advance! So make sure your baggage is checked, because this is a one-way trip!

Analysis

McGinnty just isn't working out, probably because of your fielding/stadium. Or maybe because Mogul doesn't like him.

Analysis

That Ken Griffey batting line can't be pleasant to look at, but everything else is working out.

Analysis

Fortune is not on your side.

Analysis

Well, the good news is that a lot of your troubles are due to bad luck, and that should even out over time. Beyond that, you don't have a ton of spare players to trade or sub in, so you'll probably just need to wait for the Super-Draft.

Analysis

It's not been easy, but at least you're a champion again. Morneau is never going to be the answer, though.

Analysis

Making a comeback! Also, Ozzie Smith is back. And you need him to take over for "Bad News" Hale at SS, because Hale is an errors machine there.

Analysis

Time to start rotating players, it looks like.

Analysis

Stop using Busby!

Analysis

Paul Derringer! 34 innings, 4 strikeouts. I suppose it is fitting that a guy named 'Derringer' has no power.

Analysis

At least most of your pitching has been decent!

Analysis

Always solid. And, probably because of some sort of psychic resonance, the Big Hurt always seems to do a lot better for you than anyone else.

Analysis

TWO WEEKS OF SPACE JAM REMAIN!

Analysis

This isn't over, Mornacale! Not by a longshot!

Standings and Leaders

A. [Renegade] Intimidate the cashier into giving Mark Grace a gyros for free and an Italian Beef sandwich for li'l Brian Pillman. - 3 votes

B. [Paragon] Apologize profusely and try and make things right. - 6 votes

C. Flee! - 3 votes

Okay, no denying that things are getting out of hand. I mean, that cashier is bleeding, and li'l Brian Pillman appears to be trying to do some sort of promo on the counter though, as he can't speak, it's not quite clear what he's trying to get across. On the plus side, Mark Grace has trained him well. On the minus side, this probably is super-illegal.

Still, Mark Grace is a man of honor, and always tries to make up for his mistakes. He tries to reassure the cashier, still writhing in pain on the ground, that everything is going to be alright because, based on how much blood she's losing, it's pretty clear that Pillman missed her femoral artery, and so her life isn't in any imminent danger. Also, there's relatively little chance of permanent injury.

Amazingly, the cashier doesn't seem to be mollified by this, and threatens to call the cops again. Pillman being Pillman, he reacts to this news by stopping his impromptu promo and turning back towards the cashier, his opened wide and a crazed look on his face. Well, at least he's really getting into his character. Pillman jumps on the woman and starts whaling on her, and things are getting bad fast.

DECISION TIME!

What will Mark Grace do next?

A. Is going to an Ashram still an option? Because Mark Grace definitely needs spiritual redemption now!

B. Okay, Earth-1 Gyros were a bust, and we don't have any money for Earth-2 Gyros so...Earth-3 Gyros?

C. No going back now! Might as well start taking hostages!

# ? Dec 27, 2012 00:24

Mooseontheloose: May 13, 2003

B GYROS OR DEATH!

Also, we got stopped on Earth 2 before we met our counterpart I thought.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 00:30

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Today is a glorious day. Fire Hale into the sun aka bench, replace him with The Wizard.

e: Almost forgot, C.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 00:36

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Analysis

At least most of your pitching has been decent!

That'll be great when the team is broken up for the Dispersal Draft. We'll hurl Niekro back into the minors for the healed up Tiant, and it looks like Salmon's numbers were of course illusory so I'm gonna toss Rice into a platoon with Salmon at RF and call it good.

I picked the Renegade path last time and I make no apologies for it. C is the only way out!

# ? Dec 27, 2012 00:38

gardenald: Jul 23, 2007; In the end, it comes down to throwing one pitch after another, and seeing what happens. With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.

Oh hey thread, I've been off for a few days for the holidays. Couple minor roster changes.

a) Move Fred Lynn to #1 in the order, Honus to #9, Jim Rice to #3, Evans to #6, Fisk to #7,
b) Promote Wilbur Cooper to the #5 spot in the rotation, Claude Hendrix to Long Relief, Leifield to AAA.

Also, Mark Grace is tired of this horseshit and he really wants a gyros, so B

(also now I want a gyros dammit)

# ? Dec 27, 2012 01:08

StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

Morneau not being the answer means I must pre-emptively select The Chosen Dunn! Don't tempt me!

# ? Dec 27, 2012 01:19

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Sometimes I feel like we need to broaden our audience base a bit.
New Orleans Mashers
Steve Carlton (SP) (Roster changes to bug me? No, dear boy, you'll be making some roster changes to keep hope alive!) - 10 days

Joke's on you, he had an ERA of like 7 and I was about to replace his rear end anyway!

Put Cliff Lee in his spot, bring up Briles to take Lee's place

# ? Dec 27, 2012 03:38

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

By the way, you may or may not realize it, but we're only about two or three weeks away from the next Expansion Class, and that means there are some things we need to discuss.

mrnoun

I appreciate you making the feeder team list for me, but we need to figure some way for you to transmit it to me that doesn't involve posting it in the thread, because I don't want people to have that list ahead of time.

Everyone else

I want someone to run the Expansion Cup for me. Anyone interested?

# ? Dec 27, 2012 04:01

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Jesus, what is loving wrong with Pappas and Hendrix? I know neither of them is a top-line starter, but this is just abysmal. Can you give me some numbers on them so I can figure out what the heck to do with these bums?

# ? Dec 27, 2012 04:03

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

we're only about two or three weeks away from the next Expansion Class

# ? Dec 27, 2012 04:04

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Mornacale posted:

Jesus, what is loving wrong with Pappas and Hendrix? I know neither of them is a top-line starter, but this is just abysmal. Can you give me some numbers on them so I can figure out what the heck to do with these bums?

According to their DICEs, they've both been unlucky. Then again, neither of them ever projected to be much better than average in the Super-League at best.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 04:14

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Smasher Dynamo posted:

According to their DICEs, they've both been unlucky. Then again, neither of them ever projected to be much better than average in the Super-League at best.

1) Your Christmas respite is over. Swapped Pappas and Lolich, rejiggered the lineups a bit (incl. Freehan's catching duties) due to disappointment with Puckett and Yount, slider slid as always, and most importantly Al McBean.

1b) Isn't it weird that I quit fiddling with my team for two weeks and go 6-7? :v:

2) Are we talking "will regress to the mean and be acceptable back-end starters on a team with good infield defense" unlucky, or "will dig me a hole in 40% of my games but it just won't be as deep"? If the latter, please swap Pappas and Douglas, and can I try a ratings challenge on Hendrix to change him to the former?

3) More championships on my banner. Feels good. Feels very good. Now we need to take the WC from these Unicorn guys.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 04:43

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Mornacale posted:

1) Your Christmas respite is over. Swapped Pappas and Lolich, rejiggered the lineups a bit (incl. Freehan's catching duties) due to disappointment with Puckett and Yount, slider slid as always, and most importantly Al McBean.

1b) Isn't it weird that I quit fiddling with my team for two weeks and go 6-7?

2) Are we talking "will regress to the mean and be acceptable back-end starters on a team with good infield defense" unlucky, or "will dig me a hole in 40% of my games but it just won't be as deep"? If the latter, please swap Pappas and Douglas, and can I try a ratings challenge on Hendrix to change him to the former?

3) More championships on my banner. Feels good. Feels very good. Now we need to take the WC from these Unicorn guys.

1. I kind of hope that you win the Championship so that the Macho Men can blast you into oblivion.

2. Challenge on Hendrix? Sure? Let's see, he had one really good season, but it was in the Federal League, which had marketedly worse talent, and was probably comparable to only being marginally better than AAA competition, and, for that matter, he was only really good in one of his years there.

Beyond that, he did win 20 games twice, but in the deadball era, that wasn't really that impressive, especially considering that he wasn't that dominant by the standards of his era. Add it all up, and a 94 rating is generous at best.

Challenge denied, you have two remaining.

3. There are two wildcards.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 05:02

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

I'd be willing to take a stab at the EC.

edit: oh hey, just got a Visa gift card from far away family, BM2013 downloading as we speak

Grinnblade fucked around with this message at 06:25 on Dec 27, 2012

# ? Dec 27, 2012 05:39

ManifunkDestiny: Aug 2, 2005; THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN THE SEAHAWKS IS RUSSELL WILSON'S TAINT SWEAT

Seahawks #1 fan since 2014.

Move Danny Haren to SP, Daniel Hudson to long relief, CJ Wilson to AAA

# ? Dec 27, 2012 06:07

ToiletofSadness: Mar 27, 2010

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Analysis

Always solid. And, probably because of some sort of psychic resonance, the Big Hurt always seems to do a lot better for you than anyone else.

I assume it's the same power that made Jack McDowell a perennial Cy Young candidate for my team and only slight above average when moved to the Eazy Ws.

Voting for option C in the obit story.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 08:05

Faustoan Bargain: Dec 24, 2009; I'd sell my soul for a pitcher with a power sinker...

B. Gyros forever.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 08:06

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

ToiletofSadness posted:

I assume it's the same power that made Jack McDowell a perennial Cy Young candidate for my team and only slight above average when moved to the Eazy Ws.

Voting for option C in the obit story.

McDowell is also playing in a league with a DH now, and in a park that's utter misery for right-handers.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 08:07

cucka: Nov 4, 2009; TOUCHDOWN DETROIT LIONS
Sorry about all
the bad posting.

c Take Hostages, The Mayor's Life Depends On It. If They Don't Make 60 Gyros For You and Coyotecoon Within An Hour, The Mayor's Formerly Orphaned Son From His Maid Who Died In A Car Crash Last September Will Be Executed By Catmice, Cats That Kinda Look Like Mice But Are Afraid Of Other Cats. And They Have Tank Cannons For Tongues. The Tank Cannons Are Very Tiny.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 08:17

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

Oh poo poo I forgot to vote in the obit while I was here.

A! No sense making a bad situation worse and dimension hopping for delicious Greek food didn't really work out the first time.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 08:37

tatankatonk: Nov 4, 2011; Pitching is the art of instilling fear.

SMASHER WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY AWFUL TEAM

# ? Dec 27, 2012 10:31

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Grinnblade posted:

I'd be willing to take a stab at the EC.

edit: oh hey, just got a Visa gift card from far away family, BM2013 downloading as we speak

got the screen cap script ready to roll for you - except for the number of players.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 10:39

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

Put Grimes in at #5 for a week, Perranoski in at LR.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 15:14

UZworm: Feb 9, 2009; Young wild Elsweyrian
C'mon baby, do you have a soul gem

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Stop using Busby!

But the alternative is still Dauss!

OK, fine, swap Busby and Dauss in the last spot of the rotation, then you can tell me to stop using Dauss again in two weeks.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 16:57

Shadow gamer: Jul 24, 2008; I PASSED UP A BARGAIN

[img]http://lpix.org/890598/BannerCUB.png[/timg]

New Line-up and Rotation

Starter:
SP#1 Robin Roberts (1951)
SP#2 Andy Pettitte (2005)
SP#3 Ned Garver (1950)
SP#4 Jose Rijo (1986)
SP#5 Mike Hampton (2004)

RP Lindy McDaniel (1972)
RP Curt Young (1986)
RP Jay Howell(2004)
RP/LR Mel Harder (1934)
SU Jim Konstanty(1951)
CL Jon Smoltz (2004)

Minors:
1B) Mark McGwire (1986)
IF) Marcus Giles (2004)
SP) Jim Kaat (1976)
SP) Joaquin Andujar (1986)
RP) Andy Hansen(1951)

:siren:

Line-Up

(Vs. RHP)
1. Hernandez (1B)
2. Alomar (2B)
3. Hamner (SS)
4. Chipper Jones (3B)
5. Casceco(DH)
6. Ashburn (RF)
7. Mays (CF)
8. Lollar (C)
9. Drew(LF)

(Vs. LHP )
1. Hernandez (1B)
2. Alomar (2B)
3. Hamner (SS)
4. Chipper Jones (3B)
5. Willie Jones (DH)
6. Ashburn (RF)
7. Mays (CF)
8. Tettleton (C)
9. Drew(LF)

In Summary: Promote Garver and Rijo to starters

# ? Dec 27, 2012 17:53

The Merry Marauder: Apr 4, 2009; "But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."

Super-League legend Ugueth Urbina is out of prison!

Nice three inning save by Original Banger Terry Mulholland there.

Shift Teddy to left, Berkman to right, and play Polly at second and platoon in Olerud at first for the week. Thanks.

Paragon interrupts never work. B, go to Earth-3 - is that the one where the Cubs won it all in '98? Mark Grace will be able to dine out on the gratitude of the good people of Chicago.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 19:23

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Dynamo League Week 7 Injury Report

Gloria in excelsis Imperialists!

Cleveland Unicorns
Ross Youngs (RF) (Bright's Disease, probably!) - 13 days
Ugueth Urbina (RP) (Celebrated getting out of prison a bit too hard) - 13 days

Florida Oranges
Mike Lieberthal (C) (Hannukah, the extended edition!) - Out for Season

Florida Dickshots
Tim Raines (LF) (Sacrificed himself for the greater glory of the Dickshots) - 7 days

Rockford Losers
Don Drysdale (SP) (Revolt of the Masses) - 28 days

Web 2.0 Bloggers
Barry Bonds (LF) (I guess you've got to make another new lineup, then!) - 15 days

# ? Dec 27, 2012 19:40

Viscount Slim: Mar 9, 2012

My strategy of doing nothing much and hoping my hitting gets better paid off! I think.

Also. A.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 19:44

StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

Lieberthal be gone, Pat Collins from AAA as backup catcher.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 20:00

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

HOSTAGES!

Voting C, obviously.

# ? Dec 27, 2012 20:06

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Smasher Dynamo posted:

(Sacrificed himself for the greater glory of the Dickshots)

Except I'm playing the Unspecifieds and Bloggers next week so you may have jumped the gun a bit there, Timmy

~*~New Lineup~*~

1. Joe Jackson RF
2. Nap Lajoie 2B
3. Eddie Murray 1B
4. Billy Williams LF
5. Andre Dawson CF
6. Ron Santo 3B
7. Gary Carter C
8. Ozzie Smith SS
P

# ? Dec 27, 2012 23:47

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League VIII, Smasher League Week 6: I still hate Geoff Johns

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

FAILURES FAIL AT FAILING! WIN 6-5 OVER CULTISTS

Philadelphia- Given enough time, even the seemingly impossible can and will occur.

The Cultists are one of the elite teams in the Super-League, even if their recent trade for Joe Sewell has perhaps fatally weakened them. In a battle against the mediocre Failures, they should have more than enough firepower to see them through, even in Philadelphia.

But something happened this series and, going into today's game, this three-game set was knotted at one apiece. With a win here, the Failures could gain some bragging rights, which, given their team's history, would surely be the biggest victory they had ever had.

Unsurprisingly, the Cultists had no interest in letting that happen, and scored five runs in the first two innings, building a quick 5-0 lead that seemed insurmountable. But then, they just stopped, scoring exactly zero runs over the remainder of the game.

The Failures took this invitation to come back, and managed to tie the score at 5 going into extra innings. When the Cultists once again failed to score in the top of the tenth, it was finally time for the Failures to show what they were made of. Kazuhiro Sasaki took the mound for the Cultists, and immediately got a pop out from Youkilis for the first out. The Failures were still the Failures. But then Lombardi and McCovey both walked, and they suddenly had one more chance with Pedroia at the plate. Sasaki, running out of steam, tried to pitch Pedroia outside, but the Failures' second baseman caught on a knocked a single to left field, deep enough to score Lombardi, one of the slowest men ever to play the game.

This loss frustrated CthulhuDreams, who had assumed that his offseason moves would finally perfect his team and make his second straight Norris-Smythe Division Title essentially a fait accompli. Instead, he finds himself in a dogfight with the Eazy W's, and his trade of Ernie Banks for Joe Sewell has not worked out at all. "Joe Sewell is a great baseball player!" CthulhuDreams loudly bellowed after the game, "He is better than Ernie Banks, and should be doing better than Banks did for me. The fact that he is not is clearly the result of a manipulation of data on the part of outside forces trying to deny my teams its rightful place as champions. I crunched the numbers! I ran the sims! This should be working! Why isn't this working?"

Menthol Moose appeared confused during his own press conference for the Failures, "Another loving shitfest of loving disaster here. What the loving hell happened to these motherfucking assholes on my loving team? How the gently caress did we gently caress up this time, it's unfucking believeable! What the gently caress guys, seriously, what the gently caress?" Upon being informed that he actually won the game, his expression momentarily brightened, "What, we loving won? We loving won? This is loving fantastic!" His face the returned to its normal scowl. "Okay, I gotta go. gently caress Andy Reid."

Box Score

Don May posted:

BIOSPARKS PUT IT TOGETHER FOR ONCE, TAKE OUT AIR RAIDS 6-4

Enceladus- For most of this game, it looked like the Biosparks were headed for yet another defeat.

But then the surged for six runs in the bottom of the eighth, allowing them to squeak out a 6-4 win over the reeling Air Raids, who have been spiraling downward all month.

Asked for how he could fix his team, ManifunkDestiny explained the best he could, "So, I was walking down the streets of Spokane this one time, and I needed to get some Tylenol, because I had a headache, but it was late, and most of the stores were closed. So, I'm walking along, and I suddenly see this stray dog picking through a trash can. Now, this wasn't a small dog, it was like a Labrador retriever or something, and a big one too. Anyway, the dog must have smelled something in my pocket, because he starts walking up to me. Now, I reach into my pocket, and I pull out this microwave burrito that I had just gotten from the 7-11. Now, you're probably wondering why I didn't just get the Tylenol when I was at the 7-11, but the thing of it was, my head had only started hurting when I had already left the 7-11, so it was already way behind me by that point. So, the dog is coming up to me, because he wants that burrito, and he's pretty big, and my head is hurting so much that I don't really want to eat at that point anyway, so I give it to him. Anyway, long story short, it turns out that the dog was actually me from the future." Asked what that story had to do with anything, ManifunkDestiny responded, "I don't know, hanging out here in Encleadus just kind of reminded me of it, I think that that was dog/future me's name. Encleadus....the Truth-Wanderer...yeah, that would be awesome."

ManifunkDestiny then continued to tell his long, rambling story that appeared to make less sense the longer it went on, as he claimed to, in addition to being a dog in the future, also the reincarnation of Pope John VII, as well as the pretender to the throne of Schaumburg-Lippe. The results of ManifunkDestiny's drug test are still pending as of press time.

Box Score

As Seen on TV Title!

: Part of me thinks that I'm wasting my life...the other part knows that I am. I blame Geoff Johns.

: Who's Geoff Johns?

: A very bad man. And speaking of abominations, it's time for the Arguments to defend their title against the Landers, which should go great for them.

: Well, it's only a three game series, and the Arguments are at home so-

: And the Landers win the first game 10-1.

: Poor Snuffy.

: And a 7-3 Landers win, and they'll take the TV Title.

: mrnoun had been waiting for Clemens to turn it around, and it looks like he might have gotten it here.

: And the Landers will close things out with a devastating 10-5 victory.

: The Arguments just couldn't make up for the talent gap between them and the Landers.

: Okay, now this next series will be for all three championships in the Smasher League: the Heavyweight and Television Titles held by the Landers, and the Larkin-Downing Award held by the Gumshoes.

: Right, each title changes hands on a different condition. For the Gumshoes to win the Television title, they just need to win three of the four games of this series. For the Gumshoes to win the Heavyweight title, they'd need the sweep. For the Landers to win the Larkin-Downing, they'll need to stage a great comeback against the Gumshoes.

: Well, never mind the Heavyweight Title, with the Landers preventing a Gumshoes sweep with a win in Game 1.

: And the TV Title will also remain in the Landers' hands, as the Landers will also take Game 2.

: A fine start by Richard, who was become one of the better fifth starters in the league this year.

: Gumshoes will win Game 3.

: Nolan Ryan is really struggling for the Gumshoes this year, and you wonder what it was about the Skyhawks that let their version of Ryan dominate where all of these other Ryans fail.

: Well, at least the Gumshoes will keep the Larkin-Downing award, because the Landers didn't have to stage a comeback to win this game.

: I don't think you've really thought this award through.

: Okay, we're done here. Landers are the champions, they'll face the Biosparks early next week, and then we'll see with Landers-Suicides or Biosparks-Arguments.

Team Statistics

Analysis

Steady as she goes!

Analysis

Communism is making a comeback as the proletariat rebels against the concentration of wealth in bourgeois hands and Strasburg's luck starts to normalize.

Analysis

Keith Hernandez: still injured!

Analysis

Boy, Ortiz sure made your Jack Cust strategy seem pretty stupid, didn't he?

Analysis

Bernie Williams might be better than Luzinski at LF, or he might not. It's hard for me to say.

Analysis

Only Sadaharu Oh can save you now!

Analysis

I'm sure there's a good reason why Valo is on your 25-man roster and Rickey Henderson isn't, and I'd love to hear it.

Analysis

At least your team draws a lot of walks.

Analysis

The ship is sinking! But, since you've got no spare players that are all that usable, it's probably time to let it ride and hope for the best.

Analysis

The Maths are slowly coming back to life, and Damon is healthy enough to take over for Elliott, which is even better news.

Analysis

Plenty of time to turn it around, and a 4-2 week is a good start. Your sluggers can't do this badly forever, can they?

Analysis

You can keep being stubborn as long as you want, but both Yount and Sandberg can passably play SS.

Analysis

Looks like the Biosparks aren't quite as dead as I thought. Still not quite looking great, though.

Analysis

Well, you've got no spare pieces, so I guess keep hoping that you continue to overperform like this.

Analysis

I know this sounds crazy, but Yoshida might not be a bad idea at SR or SU.

Analysis

What's wrong with your team? Well, half of your roster is great, and half is bad and, because of the way that baseball works, that's a bit worse than having an entire roster full of average.

Standings and Leaders

A. Is going to an Ashram still an option? Because Mark Grace definitely needs spiritual redemption now! - 2 votes

B. Okay, Earth-1 Gyros were a bust, and we don't have any money for Earth-2 Gyros
so...Earth-3 Gyros? - 4 votes

C. No going back now! Might as well start taking hostages! - 5 votes

Okay, let's do this. Despite having no weapons, Mark Grace corrals the hostages together. There are only about five people in the restaurant, because it's around 2:30, so this doesn't take a lot of time. Li'l Brian Pillman helps out the best that he can, and it turns out that he's a natural at tying people up. Mark can't help but be slightly concerned about the dark path Pillman is heading down.

In fact, it takes so little time that no one even has time to call the police or anything, meaning that no one even knows that Mark and li'l Brian Pillman have taken hostages, which is going to make it difficult to make demands. Hell, the way things are going, it looks like Mark is going to have to call the police directly to get this sorted out.

Also, Mark Grace isn't quite sure what demands he wants to make. After all, he came in here for gyros, and while fate has conspired to deny him that delicious Grecian dish, he doesn't really want much else at the moment. Still, he has taken hostages, and eventually the police are going to involved, so he's going to need to figure out exactly what the point of this all is...

DECISION TIME!

What the gently caress are Mark Grace's demands?

A. A gyros...or the hostages get it!

B. Full immunity for any crimes past or present...and fuel for Mark Grace's rocket cycle!

C. Demand the State of Illinois install a Marxist government!

# ? Dec 28, 2012 00:01

StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

B, including the crime of gyro pilfery while we wait for the rocket cycle fuel!

# ? Dec 28, 2012 00:17

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

It's about time this obituary got on track, so ask for B because I'm sure you can buy a gyros after Grace is no longer in danger of being sent to the pen for the rest of his natural life.

# ? Dec 28, 2012 00:19

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

B, it's the perfect crime! You can make a speedy getaway afterwards!

# ? Dec 28, 2012 00:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 22:06

Mooseontheloose: May 13, 2003

B Forgot about our rocket cycle.

# ? Dec 28, 2012 00:29

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