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FordCQC posted:Personally I don't mind my daughter constantly pulling them out of the entertainment center and putting them back all the time, it's a cute little game. Although I don't have as many games/DVDs as you do, but I love it everytime she grabs that copy of Ken's Rage and brings it over to me. It's the only game she does that with, it's hilarious. I didn't mind at first, when it was just me having to reshelve a few of them them once a day. But then it was like half of them. And then it was 10 times a day...and then he figured out how to open the cases and pull the discs out because OOH SHINY!
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Jan 7, 2013 22:38
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I've already separated them out as dvds ok for any age and restricted dvds. I don't know if its sad or not that we had more dvds ok for any age already. We're just lame I guess. I was thinking about getting a closed entertainment center like that. The one we have now has a lot of nice high shelves for knick knacks out of reach though. I have time to come up with something at least.
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Jan 8, 2013 01:10
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Fionnoula posted:I didn't mind at first, when it was just me having to reshelve a few of them them once a day. But then it was like half of them. And then it was 10 times a day...and then he figured out how to open the cases and pull the discs out because OOH SHINY! Mine are all in a closed cabinet with door latches because while it may be fun for Chris to pull them down over and over and over it's not really fun for Mom to keep reshelving them. And I am like compulsively neat so I start twitching just seeing them lying around on the floor.
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Jan 8, 2013 02:12
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We kept our DVD/CDs closed in cabinets. We have a built in cabinet in our living room, though.
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Jan 8, 2013 04:22
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Fionnoula posted:I didn't mind at first, when it was just me having to reshelve a few of them them once a day. But then it was like half of them. And then it was 10 times a day...and then he figured out how to open the cases and pull the discs out because OOH SHINY! Yeah I forgot to say that she has no idea how to open them. Things will change that day.
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Jan 8, 2013 21:06
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My daughter and I have been feeling unwell since Boxing Day, coughing and hacking and tired and hot. I took us to the doctor today, and while she is going to be fine, I have loving whooping cough, of all things. The doctor gave me some cough syrup with codeine, which laid me flat this afternoon, but left me feeling very weird and woozy. The doctor told me that it's often called "100 day's cough" and that I should take it easy for a while. When I cough, it feels like my lungs are going to leave my body through my throat, and I can only stand up long enough to make some tea before I'm coughing so hard I have to lie down. I decided not to take the cough syrup during the day, as I am the primary caregiver for my three year old, but I'm worried about what to do with her during the day. We're not a big movie household, but she watched three today because I couldn't do anything. Any suggestions for non-screen activities I can give my daughter to do while I sit on the couch? We're mostly indoors because I don't want to go out and spread the contagion.
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Jan 9, 2013 03:43
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Oh man, whooping cough.  You're right about staying indoors.Can she do sticker books by herself? Once my daughter (three and a half) got the hang of getting stickers up by herself, those things have bought me many happy peaceful spells. If you can set her up with some crayons for a while, that's pretty low-energy for the parent too.
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Jan 9, 2013 14:57
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I caught whooping cough a couple years back and coughed so hard I broke a rib. Which I didn't discover for about 3 days until I was doing some moderate lifting at the home improvement store. Please take it easy.
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Jan 9, 2013 21:03
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Is there anyone who can come in and help you? Because yeah, three-year-olds and resting up don't mix very well and whooping cough is a big deal.
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Jan 9, 2013 21:14
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Sticker books are a fantastic idea, thanks; my girl loves stickers. I'll ask my honey to pick some up today. I've looked up some recipes for modelling clay and goop and moon sand, and I'll mix them up when I have some energy. Those should give me a couple of hours each. My partner is doing his PhD and is mostly working from home, so he's doing a lot of things around the house that I would normally be doing, which is great. Both sets of grandparents are very far away, and under other circumstances would be glad to fly in to help, but they're all getting older and I don't want to get any of them sick. I'm part of a neighbourhood babysitting share, but again, spreading of germs. FordCQC - I read about the possibility of broken ribs. Wow that's awful. When a coughing fit comes on I have to kind of squat and hold my arms tightly around my ribs and it seems to help a bit. I would have said that I can't even imagine breaking a BONE from coughing so hard, but now I understand. I'm going to go back to the pharmacy today and see if they have non-codeine cough suppressants, because I've tried it twice now, and don't like it one bit. It takes away the pain and the cough, but brings on a weird twilight zone feeling of not being awake, but not exactly sleeping either. Hard to believe people want to feel like that and use it recreationally.
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Jan 9, 2013 21:50
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Talk to your doctor about getting on antibiotics if you aren't already on them. It doesn't do much for the symptoms, but it helps shorten the time you're infectious. That'll let you get someone to help out without the concern of spreading pertussis around.
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Jan 9, 2013 22:47
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Chandrika posted:I'm going to go back to the pharmacy today and see if they have non-codeine cough suppressants, because I've tried it twice now, and don't like it one bit. It takes away the pain and the cough, but brings on a weird twilight zone feeling of not being awake, but not exactly sleeping either. Hard to believe people want to feel like that and use it recreationally. You might want to ask about Tessalon Perles (benzonatate). They're prescription only, and I've only been prescribed them once in my life, but they were the most effective thing I've ever used for suppressing a cough.
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Jan 9, 2013 23:21
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AngryRobotsInc posted:Talk to your doctor about getting on antibiotics if you aren't already on them. It doesn't do much for the symptoms, but it helps shorten the time you're infectious. That'll let you get someone to help out without the concern of spreading pertussis around. There is a vaccination for pertussis, you shouldn't need to worry about spreading it as long as you tell anyone coming over that you have it. Frankly I think the fact that Chandrika's doctor didn't make her get it as a new parent is a huge failure of medical duty (or if she was informed, then just a horrifically irresponsible decision by Chandrika).
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Jan 9, 2013 23:49
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Papercut posted:There is a vaccination for pertussis, you shouldn't need to worry about spreading it as long as you tell anyone coming over that you have it. Frankly I think the fact that Chandrika's doctor didn't make her get it as a new parent is a huge failure of medical duty (or if she was informed, then just a horrifically irresponsible decision by Chandrika). When I was pregnant with my daughter--the same age as hers--there was no mention of boosting my pertussis vaccine. With my recent second pregnancy that changed, but three years ago they weren't pushing it.
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Jan 9, 2013 23:52
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Andrias Scheuchzeri posted:When I was pregnant with my daughter--the same age as hers--there was no mention of boosting my pertussis vaccine. With my recent second pregnancy that changed, but three years ago they weren't pushing it. You would still think in the last 3 years, considering the rise in incidences, her pediatrician would have brought it up. Maybe it's just because I'm near the heart of the anti-vaccine movement that I hear so much about it.
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Jan 10, 2013 00:04
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Papercut posted:There is a vaccination for pertussis, you shouldn't need to worry about spreading it as long as you tell anyone coming over that you have it. Frankly I think the fact that Chandrika's doctor didn't make her get it as a new parent is a huge failure of medical duty (or if she was informed, then just a horrifically irresponsible decision by Chandrika). Well, this is kind of you. As a matter of fact, my pertussis vaccination is up to date. Apparently it's not 100% effective, and the closer to 10 years you get, the less effective it is. (8 years for me). Edit: My doctor told me that antibiotics are not helpful with pertussis, because it's a virus, not a bacteria. Chandrika fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Jan 10, 2013 |
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Jan 10, 2013 00:20
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Chandrika posted:Edit: My doctor told me that antibiotics are not helpful with pertussis, because it's a virus, not a bacteria. Your doctor is super wrong. Pertussis/Whooping cough is caused by bordetella pertussis, which is a bacteria.
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Jan 10, 2013 00:28
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AngryRobotsInc posted:Your doctor is super wrong. Pertussis/Whooping cough is caused by bordetella pertussis, which is a bacteria. You're right. I must have been delirious. My own doctor is away for Christmas so I went to a local clinic. She explained why she wasn't giving me antibiotics and I thought that was it. Now I think back it might have something to do with how long I've had it? It's been since Boxing Day.
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Jan 10, 2013 01:12
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Whooping cough... Man, that sucks Chandrika. My sympathies! I remember some years ago I had walking pneumonia and I was profoundly sick for a solid 8 weeks. Nebulizer treatments, codeine cough syrup, and 20 days of heavy duty antibiotics later and I was finally better. It was terrible. Hope you get on the mend soon! Question to all: So, where do babies come from? Tim asked me specifically how the baby gets in the mommy's tummy, and was persistent about it. I coped out a bit and said that sometimes a doctor helps the baby get there when a mommy and daddy decide they really want a baby, which is actually true in his case, but I want a better answer for when this comes up again. I don't think we're quite ready for "the penis goes in the vagina" yet, but I don't want to feed him some bullshit like the stork. (Or maybe, I'm not quite ready for penises in vaginas talk to my 4 year old. )Anecdote: This morning, Liam "scolded" Tim. Tim was being rude over breakfast and Liam bursts out with "Trouble! Angry! No! Now!" Then turns to me and says, so nicely, "I eat it, cereal!" I couldn't help but burst out in fits of laughter. He also tells himself no and says "No, no, bad hand!" and "Naughty chair!". Which is extra funny since he's only even seen "naughty chair" once, in passing, on Supernanny while I was flipping through channels.
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Jan 10, 2013 17:19
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AlistairCookie posted:Whooping cough... Man, that sucks Chandrika. My sympathies! I remember some years ago I had walking pneumonia and I was profoundly sick for a solid 8 weeks. Nebulizer treatments, codeine cough syrup, and 20 days of heavy duty antibiotics later and I was finally better. It was terrible. Hope you get on the mend soon! When I found out I was pregnant with Ben, I picked up the book "It's Not the Stork" for my daughter. It's illustrated and talks about every aspect of families - including child birth. It also talks about boy's bodies and girl's bodies and those differences. I figured we'd need that information, too, since she was getting a baby brother. It's graphic (if you think cartoon penises and vaginas are graphic), sure, but I'd rather be truthful and explain things in proper terms than tip toe around the subject. She seemed to accept the information, got a general gist of things and just went on about doing her own thing.
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Jan 10, 2013 17:32
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Yeah, if you treat it very matter-of-factly, the kids will too. If you're acutely uncomfortable about the subject and tiptoe around it and seem really squirmy, they pick up on that too and either think its not something nice to talk about or will use it to get under your skin at every opportunity. My oldest asked, I answered, he seemed wowed but satisfied with his newfound knowledge and went on about his day and I haven't heard anything else since, just as if he'd asked how planes fly or why we have fingernails or what have you.
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Jan 10, 2013 18:21
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bamzilla posted:When I found out I was pregnant with Ben, I picked up the book "It's Not the Stork" for my daughter. It's illustrated and talks about every aspect of families - including child birth. It also talks about boy's bodies and girl's bodies and those differences. I figured we'd need that information, too, since she was getting a baby brother. It's graphic (if you think cartoon penises and vaginas are graphic), sure, but I'd rather be truthful and explain things in proper terms than tip toe around the subject. She seemed to accept the information, got a general gist of things and just went on about doing her own thing. Cool, thanks for the recommendation. I mostly lucked out on the uncomfortable-questions front during pregnancy but of course my daughter is curious about why her baby brother has a penis, and why it's just mom who makes milk, etc. I sympathize with copping out. There was just one day when my daughter was really really curious about how the baby was going to come out of mom's tummy, and when she sprung it on me I sort of blanked and didn't feel ready yet to talk about vaginas (and have her spend the next six weeks asking "So why does the baby come out of your VAGINA???"). By the next day I'd gotten to where I was ready to talk about it if she asked, but she never brought it up at all. I'm not proud of wimping out like that so I'm glad to have a good book recommendation to help cover the other questions she has. Incidentally, her conclusion that day was that the baby would come out of my bellybutton, which I think is a pretty common little-kid thought.
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Jan 10, 2013 20:41
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AlistairCookie posted:Question to all: So, where do babies come from? Tim asked me specifically how the baby gets in the mommy's tummy, and was persistent about it. I coped out a bit and said that sometimes a doctor helps the baby get there when a mommy and daddy decide they really want a baby, which is actually true in his case, but I want a better answer for when this comes up again. I don't think we're quite ready for "the penis goes in the vagina" yet, but I don't want to feed him some bullshit like the stork. (Or maybe, I'm not quite ready for penises in vaginas talk to my 4 year old. We went ahead with 'fertilize eggs' by 'sharing DNA' and 'once you were a single cell' etc. Whenever we catch beetles, or turtles or whatever doing they thang, the kids say 'Look! They are sharing DNA!'.
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Jan 10, 2013 20:58
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My oldest eventually asked that question when she was 5 or 6 and I responded with the vague answer "daddy plants a special seed inside mommy and it grows into a baby". That satisfied her for about two weeks, but then she came back asking about specifics. I (very reluctantly! this poo poo is difficult for me being raised Catholic) told her about how human anatomy matches up and her response was "ew. gross." and I never heard about it again.
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Jan 11, 2013 01:58
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My son has yet to ask the 'where babies come from' question, at 8. He's way more interested in Angry Birds and Star Wars. His father gets to handle answering that one when it comes up because he's way less awkward about stuff than I am.
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Jan 11, 2013 02:30
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Does anyone have any resources they like for helping preschoolers learn to read? My daughter is very eager to read and spell--she knows all the letters and most of the sounds they make (oh god gently caress English orthography)--and I love working on it with her. But we both get frustrated sometimes running up against some mental connection she doesn't quite have down, and I wish I knew more about how little kids learn written language so I can help better.
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Jan 11, 2013 18:14
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I used Explode the Code when I was homeschooling my son. He did very well with those. It's a phonics based reading program, that comes in levels. The PreK books are called Get Ready for the Code, Get Set for the Code, and Go for the Code, if you want to look them up. If you think she's ready for more outright reading, there's Explode the Code Book 1, and Beyond the Code Book 1 (the Beyond books are for reading comprehension).
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Jan 11, 2013 18:28
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Andrias Scheuchzeri posted:Does anyone have any resources they like for helping preschoolers learn to read? My daughter is very eager to read and spell--she knows all the letters and most of the sounds they make (oh god gently caress English orthography)--and I love working on it with her. But we both get frustrated sometimes running up against some mental connection she doesn't quite have down, and I wish I knew more about how little kids learn written language so I can help better. As to how kids learn to read they first look at words like pictures. They recognize the "picture" and know what it means even if they can't read it yet. So a good way to stimulate reading could be to make little cards for various types of activities, then you put them in a box and when you want to do a certain activity with your kid you could help it to find the right card. You should make sure that the cards look similar so that the kid have to recognize the letters to identify the cards.
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Jan 11, 2013 19:50
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My kids daycare teacher recommended the Get Set for School/Handwriting Without Tears series, and he loves them.
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Jan 11, 2013 20:22
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Thanks for the recommendations! I'll look into them.Alhazred posted:There's a method where you and your kid create a text together (a story, poem etc.). This allows the kids to play with letters and words and also gives them a sense of joy when it comes to reading. Yes, I've been figuring the sight-recognition of words was probably more likely to come quicker than really understanding spelling. I haven't been sure, though, whether it's helpful to try the phonetics more or to work with recognizing words by sight. She's totally a pro at reading CAT and DOG by now, and I can happily make cards for things like that. Does anyone have any good sources about the cognitive end of early literacy? I don't want to be pushing her on stuff, it's just that she gets really set on it and then we both get mutually frustrated because I'm not finding the way to explain it that makes sense for her.
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Jan 11, 2013 20:47
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I think I've heard Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons recommended before. I don't have it, but I've peeked at it in stores, and it includes a script so you know just how to explain things. Maybe that would be helpful!
Ben Davis fucked around with this message at 02:46 on Jan 12, 2013 |
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Jan 11, 2013 22:58
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Thank you everybody. Bamzilla, I have added that book to my cart. Just reading the reviews, I think it's what I'm looking for. One review mentioned a "special cuddle" called sex that only grown ups do, and that type of phrase/explanation is exactly what I was looking for in the moment (and failed to come up with). A "special cuddle" where we share DNA (thanks Slo-Tek). Tim even knows what cells and DNA are--I just couldn't get from point A to point B in my own mind. Parental fail. As far as childbirth goes I had C-sections, and Tim has seen my scar, so I explained exactly how a section works. If I had had vaginal births, I probably would have already been on here a long time ago asking for help with that. One of his "aunts" (not an actual aunt) told him that mommies have a special way to poop out babies, and he was cool with that. At least that's pretty close to how it actually happens. Maybe I wouldn't squirm so much if I had girls, I dunno. I guess I thought I had more time yet to put on my big girl mommy pants and address this stuff with Tim. 4 year olds! PS, per the 100 lessons to teach your child to read series... Two moms I know from Tim's school swear up and down by them and have told me at least 10 times to get it for Tim. One of the kids is in Tim's class again this year and she seems to sight read quite well, and her writing skills are very good. AlistairCookie fucked around with this message at 01:32 on Jan 12, 2013 |
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Jan 12, 2013 01:24
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Sorry for the long delay I got shipped off to work and only now got internet working. AlistairCookie: That's what I figured. They're her kids, and it's not my place (especially since I've never raised a kid). But one day it's probably going to be my place as a part of the family and her partner. They like me, and already have been saying "You know, if you guys get married I think I'm just gonna call you Dad and not Stepdad" with the others nodding matter of factly, pretty soon after they met me. So far my "lead by example" has been working, I'm going to try and go with that until I get some pointers from her friend. If they want me to help them with a video game or do some activity with them and I'm cleaning I say "I wish I could, but I have to do my chores" I don't know, hoping to wiggle into their heads that everyone has to do their chores? I know I could do it by making them clean up before I take them to a resturant but I don't want to bribe them or they won't do anything without a reward. I love her, but it does get to me how indulgent she is (not to spoil them, but to stop them from whining). We all like to spoil kids once in awhile but meals made to order is a little far. She does see a problem, she is frustrated she can't take them anywhere and that they are so picky but doesn't want to go into "mean mom mode". She admires her friend for how she handles the kids and wishes she could do the same, her friend is never mean, just says something and they jump. So far she hasn't said yes right after I say no to them, but that's because I only say no when it involves me. Like if they ask for something from me or try to get me to be their servant. I've never said no to something they've asked their mom. quote:PS, Yes. You are doing the right thing if the kids are bugging you when you're talking to someone else. One time of "I hear you; I will talk to you when I am finished." After several instances of this, I would progress to "Should you be interrupting me, or waiting until I'm done speaking?". Then I would move on to ignoring them. hookerbot 5000 That's why I'm trying to get good information, I'm aware of my lack of experience and try to put myself in her shoes. She sees the dinner thing as ridiculous and would embrace anything that actually works with her kids. I'm afraid that she'll defer to me too much, then I'll be Mean Stepdad because mom is keen to step back and let someone else handle them so she unwind once in awhile. They don't see her supernanny friend as mean though.
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Jan 12, 2013 04:09
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Crane posted:So far my "lead by example" has been working, I'm going to try and go with that until I get some pointers from her friend. If they want me to help them with a video game or do some activity with them and I'm cleaning I say "I wish I could, but I have to do my chores" I don't know, hoping to wiggle into their heads that everyone has to do their chores? I know I could do it by making them clean up before I take them to a resturant but I don't want to bribe them or they won't do anything without a reward. I'm glad things are going well! I didn't have any advice earlier but I read your question and was wondering how you were doing. Do you try saying something like "I wish I could, but I have to do my chores...would you like to help me, and then I'll be done quicker and we can play that game?" They might very well turn you down, but it's potentially a good way to get them in the frame of mind that the chore stuff has to do with a group goal. I wouldn't be so averse to give rewards. If a boss says "hey, you guys got the big project wrapped up early, I brought in some bagels and coffee for the office," do you think that's bribery? Or if the same boss says "you've been working hard, after this big project gets done I'm taking everyone out to lunch," is that bribery? Yes, you can think of it that way, but...eh. And it doesn't have to turn into a thing where they always expect a reward. When you're training animals--and the theory is not so radically different with people--you start by rewarding very small steps. Then you let your expectations expand. "Well, it feels like you're old enough now to handle [taking out the trash, setting the table, whatever] for a week without it being a big deal. How about when you've been doing it for a month we go out to dinner?" Then be sure you actually follow through, of course. Remember, to you, what you want the kids to do is something that ought to be baseline stuff they do without special rewards. To them it's a big change. And it's not a contest. It's about making a group dynamic.
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Jan 12, 2013 14:55
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Exactly what Andrias said. There is a HUGE difference between an incentive and a bribe. A bribe is something done in the heat of the moment to stop them from whining or yelling or whatever, exactly when they're doing it. Like, in a store, "Hush! If you quiet down, right now, I'll buy you M&M's at check out" is a bribe. Before going to the store, you can have a conversation like: "We're going to the store. I expect you to be patient and act properly. No being loud, running about, or whining for things. If you are a good boy/girl all the way through the store, then we can have a special treat when we get back home." That's a reward/incentive. As the child gets older, the behavior situations required for incentive like that change. A 10 year old doesn't need to get a treat every time they don't act like an rear end, but they should get a treat incentive to say, make it through a grown-up situation nicely. Crane, if your girlfriend is frustrated that she can't take her kids somewhere without them acting up, then you two should work on a plan of New Parenting Action together. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. You need to unwind the bad behavior and bad precedent that has been set, and put new rules with consequences in place. After some unhappiness and having to take a hard line, they will get that when they do A, B happens, and get with the program. I wish you continued good luck! 
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Jan 12, 2013 20:34
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Andrias Scheuchzeri posted:I'm glad things are going well! I didn't have any advice earlier but I read your question and was wondering how you were doing. Haha I've tried that "If you help me I'll be done faster..." leading to them wandering off I will bribe the CRAP out of an adult, but won't to an impressionable kid. I do like the longer term reward thing A LOT though. The one thing they need to learn most of all is being able to stand delayed gratification.
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Jan 16, 2013 22:15
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So the little one is right about 7 months old and sleeping the night all the way through, which is normally a great thing, the only down side is her diaper gets filled to capacity and then some. One or two times a week her diaper will get over filled with pee, soak through the diaper, her clothes and the mattress cover causing her to wake up and needing to be cleaned up in the middle of the night. Does anybody have a recommendation on a high capacity diaper, maybe something designed for long (12+ hr) over night sleeps?
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Jan 16, 2013 22:22
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Which ones are you using now? We use Pampers Babydry overnight; they're 12 hour diapers. They're the ones that had a big hoopla because they give really bad rashes to some kids. I know nothing was officially found, but some people here experienced it with their kids. For us, they've been FANTASTIC, though.
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Jan 16, 2013 22:24
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We use Huggies Overnites, they've been successful for us for like 3 years now. They are more absorbent than regular "daytime" diapers. We also occasionally have found that we need to go up a size in the nighttime ones before we do in the daytimes. For instance, he was in size 6 for nighttime for several months before he needed to go up to 6 in daytime. Fionnoula fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Jan 16, 2013 |
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Jan 16, 2013 22:27
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We tried at least seven different brands and ended up using normal Luvs every night. I think the baby's shape makes all the difference. My wife is insane and we had dozens of boxes of Huggies that we ended up donating because she peed through them every night. It was worse when she didn't wake me up and just laid in it all night. That made me feel awful.
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Jan 16, 2013 22:30
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