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Sab0921 posted:Tell your parents to pay for my wedding or your fiancee's parents to contribute to mine because you have too many people willing to shell out big bucks for you. Boy you sure are a whiny bitch. What a tough life you have, having to pay your own money for your wedding like millions of other people. I can't wait to see your head explode when you graduate from law school, and your sense of entitlement runs into the job market.
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Jan 17, 2013 17:44
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Costello Jello posted:Boy you sure are a whiny bitch. What a tough life you have, having to pay your own money for your wedding like millions of other people. Relax. That post made it sound like her parents shouldn't be allowed to have control over their own money, and I thought it was hilarious too, until she clarified. I don't understand why someone would get upset about their parents wanting to help out financially.
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Jan 17, 2013 18:22
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We are doing a destination wedding and a reception back here in the states. I'm working on invitations to the reception now. Basically, thinking I'll mock something up in photoshop and then use one of the online post card places to print them. Has anyone else done this? We aren't doing RSVPs so it basically just needs to be a card saying the reception is this date and time. Anyone have a suggestion on which online place to use that's cheap but does good work? Vistaprint? Something else?
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Jan 17, 2013 19:09
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^ I am using Vistaprint. They have an option to order free samples of their cardstock if you like, which can help give a sense of their print quality. It all looked pretty nice to me for simple stuff. At the moment I am trying to design our save-the-dates but we do not have engagement photos and our wedding is tiny, so we don't have a theme. Honestly I have no idea what to design though, all we have really are... words. What the heck do people do if they don't have a theme or want to use a photo?
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Jan 17, 2013 19:25
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FloorCheese posted:^ I am using Vistaprint. They have an option to order free samples of their cardstock if you like, which can help give a sense of their print quality. It all looked pretty nice to me for simple stuff. Have you looked on any professional wedding stationary sites for inspiration? That's what I'm doing since I'm designing my own too. Just make sure you don't blatantly rip off one of their designs. Weddingpaperdivas has a ton of designs.
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Jan 17, 2013 19:35
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^^What Aquatic Giraffe said What I've done is go to GIS and search things like "reception invitations" "photo reception invitations" etc. Have gotten several good ideas. We aren't going to have a reception "theme" per say but we are getting married in St. Thomas so what I have so far is a photo of a beach scene lightened for the whole background, Picture of the two of us framed and then text to the side with "We're Getting Married" as a headline at the top. I was going to put "Just Married" but that seemed odd as people will get these invitations before we're actually married.
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Jan 17, 2013 19:41
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Edit: whoops, double post. drat phone.
Problem! fucked around with this message at 03:30 on Jan 18, 2013 |
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Jan 17, 2013 21:30
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Oh my goooood met with the priest today and afterwards had dinner with the soon-to-be in-laws. Got soooo much wedding stuff out of my system! I can't believe we're actually DONE with planning - everything from this point on is just a bonus! Plus, the in-laws decided that we are absolutely NOT allowed to go home after the wedding, so they're sending us in a taxi to an unknown location as a gift. Also, they really want champagne for the toast, so they'll help pay that as well. Also my MIL is going to host a bridal shower so I get an opportunity to spend more time with the women of that side of the family. We also hit 50 guests today! 
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Jan 17, 2013 21:42
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Nearly all our guests are from out of town. Thoughts regarding a rehearsal dinner for the wedding party, parents, and grandparents and a casual get together afterwards for everyone?
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Jan 18, 2013 00:33
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When I went to an 'almost all from out of town' wedding, they had a little get together for everyone before the rehearsal> There were something like two meat and cheese trays, two veggie trays, a couple cookie trays and a big thing of bottled water for people to take. It lasted maybe an hour or two tops, and it let out of towners see the bride and groom for a little bit before the wedding, without impinging on the rehearsal or blowing up the cost of the rehearsal dinner. I thought it was a pretty good arrangement.
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Jan 18, 2013 01:45
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Won't you see them at the wedding the next day anyway? I guess I'm sort of failing to see the point of a pre-wedding get together. I thought the wedding WAS the get together. I just see something like that as one more thing to plan and stress over on top of the actual wedding.
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Jan 18, 2013 03:34
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Won't you see them at the wedding the next day anyway? I guess I'm sort of failing to see the point of a pre-wedding get together. I thought the wedding WAS the get together. A rehearsal dinner is traditionally held for out-of-town guests who might not know what to do with themselves on the night before. Same thing goes for day after events. I gather also that during the wedding, the bride and groom do try to see everyone, but it can be difficult and it'll only be for a few minutes at a time.
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Jan 18, 2013 03:49
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My fiancee and I have reevaluated when we would like to get married. We decided on 2017 and it feels so long away. We're probably not going to be in NJ when we get married, but in Florida where I was born because we can actually afford to live down there. What can we start doing now to make this as smooth as possible as it gets uncomfortably close? I'm a bit OCD and like things a certain way. Are there lists of people who will deal with me when I'm yelling at them that they didn't put the music on an odd number volume? (No I don't mean a psychologist)
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Jan 18, 2013 06:03
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Anyone will humor you for enough money. Four years is an infinite amount of time - I wouldn't sweat the details until you're closer.
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Jan 18, 2013 15:13
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Eggplant Wizard posted:A rehearsal dinner is traditionally held for out-of-town guests who might not know what to do with themselves on the night before. Same thing goes for day after events. I gather also that during the wedding, the bride and groom do try to see everyone, but it can be difficult and it'll only be for a few minutes at a time. I'm planning a rehearsal dinner, but only for the people immediately involved in the wedding: us, bridal party, parents, and officiant. If I invited all of my out of town guests (aka 80% of my guest list) it'd basically be like having two receptions. It just seems excessive to me is all. We're getting married in DC so there's a ton of touristy things to do to occupy the out of town guests, so if they get bored it's their own fault. We're having a small-ish wedding so I'm not too worried about not being able to see and talk to everyone.
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Jan 18, 2013 17:45
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himurak posted:What can we start doing now to make this as smooth as possible as it gets uncomfortably close? I don't think there's really anything you can do 4 years in advance, especially since you don't even know for sure what state you'll be getting married in. edit: Oh, save $! especially in you're considering getting married in NJ!
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Jan 20, 2013 02:32
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How fancy are rehearsal dinners, usually? My parents will be paying for it, but I have a feeling they won't like shelling out $1000 for a bunch of strangers to have dinner, and I agree with that. Would a place like a brew pub work? Someplace fun and nicer than a chain restaurant, but more like $10-$15 a head? We're going to have a big wedding party.
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Jan 20, 2013 18:47
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^^^ I think the fanciness level of the rehearsal dinner should match the fanciness level of your wedding. Having a fancy-rear end five star multi-course rehearsal dinner before a casual backyard wedding would be weird, as would a pub dinner before a black tie wedding. My rehearsal dinner is tentatively planned at a pretty nice Italian restaurant, and my wedding will be pretty close to black tie. himurak posted:My fiancee and I have reevaluated when we would like to get married. We decided on 2017 and it feels so long away. We're probably not going to be in NJ when we get married, but in Florida where I was born because we can actually afford to live down there. My wedding date has yet to be set (we have a goal date but we have to wait for my fiance to get his next set of military orders before we can nail a date down, hopefully we'll find that out within the next month or two. Our wedding date could be anywhere from a courthouse wedding in a few months before he goes to Afghanistan or pushed back a year or so.) What I'm doing is doing a lot of research into all the aspects of the wedding (venues, photographers, cakes, flowers, etc) and figuring out what I want, so when we get a date I can just go on a phone call spree and get it all set. Since your wedding is so far out, your tastes may change in that time so I wouldn't start worrying about the actual planning till about a year out. I've already bought a dress, but I wouldn't recommend doing that four years in advance because styles will probably change and you/your fiancee doesn't want to have to stay the same size +/- one dress size for four years. Once you know for sure where and when you're getting married, you can get some discounts by booking some things way early. My reception venue is holding our date without a deposit, and our tentative date is only in 2014.
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Jan 21, 2013 02:10
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:I think the fanciness level of the rehearsal dinner should match the fanciness level of your wedding. Having a fancy-rear end five star multi-course rehearsal dinner before a casual backyard wedding would be weird, as would a pub dinner before a black tie wedding. My rehearsal dinner is tentatively planned at a pretty nice Italian restaurant, and my wedding will be pretty close to black tie. Our rehearsal dinner was a backyard BBQ at my parent's house the night before our fancy pants wedding. Everyone really enjoyed it as they didn't have to deal with two fancy parties two nights in a row and the super casual atmosphere was great for catching up with the out of towners before the wedding. It also saved us a ton of money, so that was also a nice side effect. I would say casual rehearsal, black tie wedding is totally cool but as with most wedding things every couple and family is different so just do what works best for you guys!
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Jan 21, 2013 02:46
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Kitten Kisses posted:Our rehearsal dinner was a backyard BBQ at my parent's house the night before our fancy pants wedding. Everyone really enjoyed it as they didn't have to deal with two fancy parties two nights in a row and the super casual atmosphere was great for catching up with the out of towners before the wedding. It also saved us a ton of money, so that was also a nice side effect. I would say casual rehearsal, black tie wedding is totally cool but as with most wedding things every couple and family is different so just do what works best for you guys! This is basically what we did. We had a lot of people from out of town, so we just invited everyone and had self-catered bbq in a park. It was a blast. Our wedding was a lot fancier, but fancy can be a lot of pressure, so it was really nice to just have a casual thing the day before.
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Jan 21, 2013 03:09
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:My wedding date has yet to be set (we have a goal date but we have to wait for my fiance to get his next set of military orders before we can nail a date down, hopefully we'll find that out within the next month or two. Our wedding date could be anywhere from a courthouse wedding in a few months before he goes to Afghanistan or pushed back a year or so.) I just wanted to pop back in and say thanks for the levelheadedness. I think we'll just start looking at different general ideas and keep record of the ones we like. She knows she would like a beach wedding which is perfect for both of us. We'll start from there and work our way out.
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Jan 21, 2013 16:57
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I feel like I can trust goonettes to give it to me straight about wedding dresses. I'm considering two different dresses at the moment and they couldn't be more different. I'm going to include some general information about my wedding too in case that helps. The Plan: We're having a very low key wedding in that the ceremony part will be very short with only close family present. The reception will follow directly and there is to be only one dress for all of this business, none of that changing dresses nonsense. We're in the process of booking a loving gigantic plantation house as our venue. The idea is to go with a very classic traditional theme in all of the decorations and stylings. And this will be held in late October in Georgia so the weather could be anywhere from 50 degrees to 70 degrees depending. The first dress:  This is the one I originally fell in love with. However it is not a traditional dress. The pros with this dress are that its comfortable (corset lacing in the back) and short enough to make mobility a non-issue. It would also cost me $350 including shipping and tax and could be resold for probably around $300 at any time after the ceremony. My future mother in law and fiance both like this dress but my mother is not a big fan. I wont be able to try this one on until after I've bought it, so its possible I might not like it once it made it to me. I'm just going based on measurements that it would fit. The second dress:  This is a very traditional wedding dress and really seems to fit the theme and the location very well. It would also make all of the grandparents happy and my mother is a huge fan of this one. She's been trying to convince me to let her spend the money on it but I am basically Scrooge McDuck reincarnated as a poor college student and I'm really stingy. More so with my parent's money than my own. This dress costs $800 before alterations and likely wouldn't make more than $400 back if I resold. It's floor length and a bit poofy so it could get difficult in a more cramped environment. It will probably make dancing harder but will cover up my lousy footwork. I've also been able to try this one on and it looks as good on me as it does on the model, if I will allow myself some vanity. It's likely less comfortable than the former dress but still not bad since I wont need to wear spanx with it or anything. JibbaJabberwocky fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Jan 22, 2013 |
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Jan 22, 2013 04:02
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:I feel like I can trust goonettes to give it to me straight about wedding dresses. I'm considering two different dresses at the moment and they couldn't be more different. I'm going to include some general information about my wedding too in case that helps. I'm not a fan of that bow or the old-style runching on such a short dress. The second dress looks much better, but it's entirely up to you. Also, why are you worried about resale value?
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Jan 22, 2013 04:37
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I really, really love the first dress, to be honest. It's unique and different and if I'd found it before I fell in love with my dress, I'd totally have considered it a valid option. The second dress has its charms though, and you've been able to try it out. I ordered my dress online without being able to try it, and it worked out awesome for me - I was really thorough with all my measurements. But really, in the end, only YOU can decide. Don't let mothers or inlaws or even fiancé decide for you. It's YOUR special day, and YOU should wear what YOU like best.  Edit: I feel pretty good about myself now, I just made my own adjustments to my dress. The neckline was really high and ended up too close to my throat on the sides, so I needed to change it if I was gonna be comfortable in the dress. I feel I did a really good job, too :3 So glad I know how to sew! benjai fucked around with this message at 11:59 on Jan 22, 2013 |
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Jan 22, 2013 10:29
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Second dress is gorgeous and timeless. The first dress is very fussy and looks like it would take attention away from *you*. However if it makes you happy and comfortable then that is what will make you the loveliest bride (and you should consider not letting resale value affect your decision, in my opinion). edited because I have no tact. Vortex Street fucked around with this message at 12:28 on Jan 22, 2013 |
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Jan 22, 2013 12:20
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daggerdragon posted:I'm not a fan of that bow or the old-style runching on such a short dress. The second dress looks much better, but it's entirely up to you. Also, why are you worried about resale value? Here's why: JibbaJabberwocky posted:I am basically Scrooge McDuck reincarnated as a poor college student and I'm really stingy. More so with my parent's money than my own. Personally, I'm a total champion of being the tightest Scrooge Mc Duck you can be, if you can get away with it. Spend as little as possible and get back as much as possible, why not? Especially if you're only going to likely wear the dress once in your lifetime. You're better off saving the cash for the honeymoon/rest of your new lives together. Also I have a serious gut-wrenching disgust of the way the wedding industry in general expects people to cough up unreasonable amounts of cash for no appreciable added value other than the fact the item is branded with the word 'wedding'  I like the first dress better, mostly because it's not traditional and looks quite sweet, young and fun. Having said that without seeing it on you it's hard to say. I've seen this kind of dress on Lolita cosplayers so it has the potential to go altogether in the wrong direction compared to the usual regal formality expected of a wedding. If you're on the shorter/petite side it would work better than a long, dragging dress too--if you're anywhere approaching tall the dress might scale up to an outrageously poofy size. But I can see it being worn with a fancy up-do, bright heels and elbow-length silk/satin gloves or bracelets. Dress it up with a snappy birdcage veil and voila.
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Jan 22, 2013 13:41
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JibbaJabberwocky, what would you coordinate the short dress with? I know from a variety of other threads that you're really into lolita so that's obviously part of the motivation behind that dress but I keep envisioning a really erololi look with the straplessness and it seems at odds with a more wedding-y look to me. That said, I'm planning on buying a black and orange ballgown for my Halloween-themed reception and I give no fucks what anybody thinks, it's what I want, dammit! You seem way more into the short dress.
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Jan 22, 2013 15:01
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:I feel like I can trust goonettes to give it to me straight about wedding dresses. Okay. I will be tactless, then. I think the first one looks like something a frontier hooker would wear. Cf.:  Maybe it's longer than it looks, I dunno. If you're going for traditional though, no no no no no. It's super cool but I'd suggest getting something like it for if you do lolita cosplay or whatever, or even a lingerie type thing :giggity: But not for a wedding dress. Let your mom buy you the more expensive dress. I think it's amazing, and if you find it too poofy or fussy, you can probably have that fixed in alterations. They're used to doing stuff like that.
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Jan 22, 2013 15:10
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:I feel like I can trust goonettes to give it to me straight about wedding dresses. I'm considering two different dresses at the moment and they couldn't be more different. I'm going to include some general information about my wedding too in case that helps. I would largely agree with the consensus in the thread regarding the first dress. Is it possible, though, that neither of these are The One? If the wedding's in October you're not in panic mode yet - you've still got a bit of time to look. I would think there's a dress out there somewhere that might be a happy medium between the two. Maybe something longer, like the second dress, but incorporating a bit of ruching and volume from the first?
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Jan 22, 2013 15:29
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nyerf posted:I like the first dress better, mostly because it's not traditional and looks quite sweet, young and fun. Having said that without seeing it on you it's hard to say. I've seen this kind of dress on Lolita cosplayers so it has the potential to go altogether in the wrong direction compared to the usual regal formality expected of a wedding. If you're on the shorter/petite side it would work better than a long, dragging dress too--if you're anywhere approaching tall the dress might scale up to an outrageously poofy size. But I can see it being worn with a fancy up-do, bright heels and elbow-length silk/satin gloves or bracelets. Dress it up with a snappy birdcage veil and voila. McPantserton posted:JibbaJabberwocky, what would you coordinate the short dress with? I know from a variety of other threads that you're really into lolita so that's obviously part of the motivation behind that dress but I keep envisioning a really erololi look with the straplessness and it seems at odds with a more wedding-y look to me. That said, I'm planning on buying a black and orange ballgown for my Halloween-themed reception and I give no fucks what anybody thinks, it's what I want, dammit! You seem way more into the short dress. Eggplant Wizard posted:Okay. I will be tactless, then. I think the first one looks like something a frontier hooker would wear. Cf.: It is a dress by a gothic lolita brand called Atelier Boz. I'm familiar enough with them to know that their quality is superb. On me (not even 5'2") it would reach to my knees or just below. It would be paired with simple accessories and a lacy bridal bolero to keep it from going to a bad cosplay/frontier hooker sort of place. I feel the need to point out if you're doing lolita right, even ero lolita right, you shouldn't come off as a cosplay prostitute. Lolita is a style that is meant to be the essence of classy and demure and this is even more so the case with a gothic brand like Boz. My real problem is that I'm completely split. I like both dresses just as much in different ways so it's really not that I secretly prefer one or the other right now. They're just so different comparing them is hard. My mom, not content to try and convince me that she should pay for the whole drat wedding and that the groom's family shouldn't contribute a dime, has been badgering me to let her buy me both. The long one for the ceremony and the dinner and the short one for the after party. But my inner miser is cringing at the idea of TWO expensive frivolous dresses when I really just wanted one.
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Jan 22, 2013 16:01
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:My real problem is that I'm completely split. I like both dresses just as much in different ways so it's really not that I secretly prefer one or the other right now. They're just so different comparing them is hard. My mom, not content to try and convince me that she should pay for the whole drat wedding and that the groom's family shouldn't contribute a dime, has been badgering me to let her buy me both. The long one for the ceremony and the dinner and the short one for the after party. But my inner miser is cringing at the idea of TWO expensive frivolous dresses when I really just wanted one. Honestly I think the two-dress solution is a great one, if your mom is willing (and in a position) to pay for it. Everyone is happy, the pictures will be gorgeous, and you get to wear not one but two dresses, both of which you love equally and in different ways. Tell your inner miser that you'll be able to resell the shorter dress for near what you paid for it, so the net difference between getting both dresses and getting just the second is negligible.
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Jan 22, 2013 16:13
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kernel panic posted:Honestly I think the two-dress solution is a great one, if your mom is willing (and in a position) to pay for it. Everyone is happy, the pictures will be gorgeous, and you get to wear not one but two dresses, both of which you love equally and in different ways. Tell your inner miser that you'll be able to resell the shorter dress for near what you paid for it, so the net difference between getting both dresses and getting just the second is negligible. I'm actually trying to use this as leverage and I think my mom is willing. I am willing to consider the two dress option if she is willing to at least accept a 60/40 split on the cost of the wedding. We're not having a formal ceremony or a formal rehearsal dinner (just an at-home affair for about 40 people) so that makes the traditional bride's family pays for the wedding and reception and groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon split completely not applicable in this situation. I'm trying not to be a gigantic dick but a week ago I thought I could have just a wedding reception with no ceremony for like $5,000. And now even budgeting myself it's looking like $23,000 all told. I'm way way more willing to accept that cost if my parents aren't unfairly forcing themselves to shoulder the bulk of it.
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Jan 22, 2013 16:23
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:I'm actually trying to use this as leverage and I think my mom is willing. I am willing to consider the two dress option if she is willing to at least accept a 60/40 split on the cost of the wedding. We're not having a formal ceremony or a formal rehearsal dinner (just an at-home affair for about 40 people) so that makes the traditional bride's family pays for the wedding and reception and groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon split completely not applicable in this situation. That's their priority, and their problem. You're THEIR daughter and you're getting hitched, and they want to shell out for you, consequences be damned. Unless you know for a fact they're planning to finance all of this on credit cards, butt out of your parents' finances and let them spoil you. They're only getting this one chance to do so.
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Jan 22, 2013 16:41
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quote:I feel the need to point out if you're doing lolita right, even ero lolita right, you shouldn't come off as a cosplay prostitute. Lolita is a style that is meant to be the essence of classy and demure and this is even more so the case with a gothic brand like Boz.
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Jan 22, 2013 21:29
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Just my two cents but I think the first one won't look as good over time like when you see 80s dresses now.  Second one is pretty classy.
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Jan 23, 2013 02:19
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Have you tried either dress on in person? I absolutely fell in love with a dress online. Like, couldn't imagine anything else even coming close. Called around to 10-15 bridal shops, paid $100 to order a sample, finally tried it on... and it looked AWFUL on me. The photos online were really deceptive about the material and shape. It was horribly disappointing. Just something to keep in mind if you haven't tried them on yet. The second one will look really dated in pictures more than the first I think. The whole Kate Middleton dress look is in right now and it'll be out of fashion in a few years. I'm considering the two dress option since my dress has a cathedral length train and I don't know if I want to deal with that the whole reception, even with a bustle. But at the same time I don't want to pay for two dresses, so I may just deal with it.
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Jan 23, 2013 04:18
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Gravitee posted:Just my two cents but I think the first one won't look as good over time like when you see 80s dresses now. I actually kind of think the opposite: the second one is probably less timeless since it's more like what's in fashion at the moment, the first follows more of a "style" or "look" than a fashion so it's less likely to go out of fashion (if that makes any sense at all and I'm not just talking out of my arse). Not everyone's as horrified at the thought of being in fashion as I am though. I can't deny that number 2 is more classy looking though. I think dress 1 looking good really depends on what you wear with it. I can imagine it working with small loops of pearls round your neck like in the picture and high fancy lace-up boots. Or colourful high heels/flats and a really big chunky necklace like this (not the colour) http://i46.tinypic.com/2py3hub.jpg if you're going for a more fun, playful style. It would look good with a lacy bolero too or a striped one if that's your style. Basically, I'm trying to say politely that if you tart it up a bit with nice accessories it'll look gorgeous, but it would be really easy to look like a pre-teen goth (goth is good! pre-teen is bad!) if you screw it up. It's a delicate balance. Dress 2, you can slap anything on your feet, face and neck and it'll still good good. One thing I would say though is that you really can't tell what a dress looks like or what suits you until you've tried it on. Most people I know who've been wedding dress shopping say they've ended up with a style of dress they never would have guessed suited them. I was trying on fishtail dresses everywhere because they look beautiful online. On me, they look like oversized spanish dancer halloween outfits. I ended up with a way more traditional A-line, strapless dress (it was actually a prom dress) because, although it wasn't what I was originally looking for, it somehow really suited me and made me feel like a wee princes. So yeah, just agreeing with Aquatic Giraffe that you don't have a clue about a dress until you've tried it on. Whatever you do though, don't go for any boring safe option (not necessarily dress 2 because I like that - I just mean in general, for you). You'll regret it. Mine was a really traditional style of dress, but it was also jet black. If I'd been in cream or white I know I'd have ended up regretting it because it's not me.
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Jan 23, 2013 11:48
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Forget all I said! I just saw your posts in the lolita fashion thread. You know exactly what you're doing when it comes to outfit co-ordination. You certainly don't need my advice! I'd still say try on the dress before you buy, but you obviously have an eye for what suits you and what goes together so trust your judgement.
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Jan 23, 2013 12:10
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Eggplant Wizard posted:Okay. I will be tactless, then. I think the first one looks like something a frontier hooker would wear. That's pretty close to what I edited out (riverboat costume) because I felt bad for dissing something she clearly loves. I love your fortitude, Eggplant. I'm in the camp of the second dress not going out of style for a long time because to me the neckline harks back to some of the dress necklines you would see in the 50s/60s. It's very Grace Kelly-ish and a classic silhouette. Those popular cupcake dresses with pick-ups in the skirt, now those are going to clearly mark the decade in which the wearer was married. Gravitee has a good point that with the short dress your ceremony photos might not look as great to you after a fair amount of time--even if you're into lolita. The two-dress solution sounds good, though. Let your mom do her love language thing
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Jan 23, 2013 12:18
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Does anyone have any experience with http://theweddingregistry.me ?
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Jan 23, 2013 15:44
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