BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

GrickleGrass posted:

Swap Adam Jones with Rickey Henderson, like I asked last month. If Ventura and Reynolds are still platooning, then put an end to that as well-- keeping Ventura in against both LHP and RHP.

Also, it doesn't seem like Dotel and Britton are filling in for Johnson and Leiter. Who is pitching for them? I hope the three healthy pitchers aren't dividing all of the work between them. If that's the case, at least swap out Leiter for Dotel since he'll be gone all season.

Make my rotation:
SP Johnson
SP Brown
SP Rogers
SP Ryan
SP Dotel

And unless injuries occur I won't ask you to do any further work, so don't worry.

I don't know how I missed this when it came up but just to clarify, once again: When I post an injury report, those injuries are effective as of the end of the NEXT update, not the previous (i.e. the one I post here shortly will be for the end of June, not the end of May). I post the injury report in advance to give owners a bit of time to think about how they want to deal with the situation instead of just going "oh hey by the way Al Leiter just exploded, you have one day to figure out what the gently caress".

Additionally, if you read your lineup sheets you will find that I already subbed Jones and ended the platoon spoken of and that Jones did fairly decently for the month of May.

I'm going to take this post as your orders for ~~May~~edit: June, and it should work out fairly decently, unless you rescind those orders before the injury report is posted.

Thank you for your time.

Grinnblade fucked around with this message at 23:19 on Jan 19, 2013

# ? Jan 19, 2013 23:14

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# ? May 23, 2024 17:43

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

gingemidget posted:

This is the type of deal I'll never not be interested in. Who would be on offer?

I'll be honest, none of your feeder guys really stand out to me. I'd be willing to give up 1964 Dick Hall or 1967 Ken Holtzman (both of whom should be helped by a re-roll) for 1915 Earl Hamilton, 1985 Donnie Moore, and 1915 Red Hoff.

mentholmoose posted:

Would you be interested in 2005 Biggio and 2011 Youkilis

# ? Jan 19, 2013 23:45

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

New Orleans Mashers

New Lineup!

lajoie 2b
bagwell 1b
doby DH
a-rod SS
walker rf
alou LF
allen 3b
torre c
davis cf

# ? Jan 20, 2013 00:00

StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

Re: parity in the SL: remove any team poised to make the playoffs from the draft. Better players for the weak teams, no reinforcement for the good teams, less work for Smasher.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 00:23

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

Expansion Cup VIII Injury Report - June

Atlantis Aquamen
C Dale Murphy (Stomach pains from swimming less than an hour after eating) - 15 days

Canton Catastrophes
3B Hans Lobert (grrrrrr) - 2 days

Detroit Cougars
3B Jim Ray Hart (not that it matters, you're benching him, right?) - 1 day

Harvard Elites
SS Garry Templeton (paper cut) - 17 days
CF Andy Van Slyke (Declared academically ineligible) - Out for Season (278 days)

Idaho Potatoes
1B Todd Helton (God drat It) - 73 days

Jacksonville Jobbers
IF Cal Ripken, Jr. (Oh, radio...) - 5 days
SP Kevin Brown (tell me everything you know) - May Miss Next Start (4 days)

Lovable Losers
SU Mitch Williams (Losers' Lurgy) - 15 days

Miami Manatees
C Mike Piazza (Communications Breakdown) - 8 days
LR Jamie Moyer (Solidarity with the Big Unit) - 13 days
2B Julio Franco (Shock at the month's results) - 31 days

Omaha Forgettables
SP Dave Stieb (Toe got infected) - 71 days
C Jorge Posada (Saw Stieb's toe, cut off own toe to prevent the same fate) - 121 days

Sad Pandas
2B Jose Vidro (Made the Panda Sad) - 12 days

Walney Rakers
SP Carl Weilman (Got Raked) - 14 days
(also Tanana has a 1 day injury but he's the 2nd pitcher out so it should be fine)

# ? Jan 20, 2013 01:11

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

MATHS-W'S GAME DEVOLVES INTO RIOT AS W'S WIN 4-3

Bolton- Proving the old adage that "Britons are much more violent in real life than on TV" true, the Cross-Albion Derby descended into chaos as the rival fanbases attacked each other in a massive brawl.

It was unclear exactly what sparked the riot, though some have claimed that a Maths fans calling the W's, "The loving Manchester United of the Super-League", which apparently constitute fighting words in the U.K., and especially in Bolton, which, although technically being part of the Greater Manchester Area, is not a hotbed of support for the Manchester United City Football Club.

This much was made clear in a post-game interview with ForeverBWFC, who seemed genuinely confused at some of the questions, "Wait, I'm not clear on what you're talking about...no, there's no such team as Manchester United City, those are two different teams....well, people don't like them because they are both owned by billionaires who are able to use their financial might to destabilize the entire Premier League, and that's bad, unless you like in Manchester or London...no, I don't live in Manchester. Bolton is not the same thing as Manchester! It's definitely different! We have our own football club, the Wanderers! But, well, they have no money, and they aren't very good. Listen, do you have any questions about my team?" A reporter then asked him about the great performance this year from Pete Alexander, who won his 17th game of the season today, throwing a complete game in the process. "Grover has been a fine addition to my club," BWFC referring to Alexander by his given name, "I have no doubt that his continued strong play will lead us back to the post-season, despite the seeming resurgence from the Cultists. All in all, while I regret the violence, this was still a good day for the my team. Thank you, and good night."

Revenant Threshold, the owner of the Mathematicians, was not happy with his team's fans being brutalized in the stands of the Memorial Coliseum, "I suppose I should not be surprised that these louts from up North are so violent. If I had to live out here, so far removed from civilization and the finer arts, I imagine that would become little more than a hooligan myself. Just a horribly day in a horrible place."

GAME NOTES

-Ed Delahanty was a scratch, and replaced by Howard Johnson.

-Jose Cruz was injured during the game as a crazed Lloyd Moseby broke Cruz's leg with a bat to regain his starting spot. Moseby explained that, "People just have to give me more of a chance, you know? I have to make them give me more of a chance. I just know that they'll grow to love me now. They won't have a choice."

-I admit not knowing much about England.

-Also, my attention might have been distracted by the Blackhawks-Kings game.

-In my defense, it was the opening day of the season.

-The Hawks won 5-2, and that was pretty awesome. Hossa had two goals and an assist. Looks like he's back at full strenghth.

Box Score

Don May posted:

VENGEFUL CULTISTS ROUT ARGUMENTS 15-6

Cooperstown- For so long, everyone had hoped that perhaps the world was not such a dark place, that there was goodness remaining in mankind, and that this would be shown by the Cultists being sent to the Gauntlet to die.

But the Super-League is not a place where hope lives long, and the Cultists, down and out over the first three months of the season, have come back to life in the past few weeks, mounting a furious comeback, and now stand just 2.5 games out of the final wildcard spot. It appears that, despite everyone's best efforts, the Cultists simply could not be contained.

At least, that was the message that CthulhuDreams wanted to send after the game, "Now you all can see that my team is simply better than the rest of yours. That is not surprising, as I have done careful research, simmed my team, prepared them over and over while the rest of you, essentially illiterate when it comes to baseball, sit around with slackened jaws and wonder how it is that I am able to dominate you so thoroughly. But my work is not yet done. I must still kill the W's. They are the worst. Their owner lacks even a fraction of my baseball knowledge, and their roster seems to be more focused on comic relief than on winning. That I should lose to such a team? Impossible. All will fall before my Cultists. Even the Macho Men. I'm simply too smart for it to be any other way."

Alleged human Robert_Deadford agreed with much of CthulhuDreams' assessments, "It is true that CthulhuDreams is quite intelligent for a human being. When I look into his ocular spheres, I see a spark of intellect, something that I have not found very common on this planet. Left to his own devices, I am sure he will do great things for mankind, assuming that no alien armada conquers the Earth and begins to extirpate the more intelligent among you who do not fit into the psycho-genetic profile of our thrall armies. I pray for his sake that he does....if, of course, there were such an armada with such a plan, which, as far as you Earthmen know, is not the case. And I too am an Earthman, just to clarify."

In other news, Mo Vaughn had a very tasty sandwich before the game that included corned beef, pastrami, sauerkraut, thousand island dressing, swiss and pepper jack cheese, as well as bacon. According to Vaughn, it was called a "Super-Reuben".

GAME NOTES

-Big Six had a good game. I'm sure CthulhuDreams will still complain about that.

-Byung-Hyun Kim did not have a good game. This surprised no one.

-Poor, poor Snuffy.

Box Score

Jonathan Toews Never Won the Television Title

: I had to cut expenses so...I fired Yoshida! One-man booth! The Barons will take on the Mashers for the Television Title, and the Barons find Randy Johnson extremely hittable, and they'll win Game 1.

: And the Mashers' comeback falls just a bit short, and the Barons will win Game 2, and they'll retain the Hardcore Title. CraigK's power pitchers just don't seem ideally suited to deal with the Barons' power hitters.

: Except Gibson, who throws a shutout, and that'll at least prevent a sweep by the Barons.

: Next up, a critical series as the Barons face the Phoenixes. If the Phoenixes win this series, it will likely deal a fatal blow to the Barons' playoff hopes. But the Phoenixes will walk to a easy 9-2 win in the opener, as their Frankenstein's monster of a lineup continues to shamble forwards, demanding some sort of revenge on its creator for bringing such an unlovable abomination unto this world.

: Rollie fucks it all up again, and that gives the Barons hope as they pull out a 3-2 lead.

: The Phoenixes are able to get to John Clarkson, and that means that the Television Title will be decided in Game 4 of the series.

: Barons win! Barons win! And they'll retain the Television Title, though, with the 2-2 split, they won't make up any ground on the Phoenixes, which is not exactly what they were hoping to get out of this series.

: Next week, Barons-Biosparks and then Barons-Failures or Biosparks-Arguments. You...you can probably afford to miss these.

Team Statistics

Analysis

A split against the Phoenixes isn't good, but it keeps you alive.

Analysis

Communism has failed!

Analysis

Communism has still failed!

Analysis

I'll find an expansion team to beat the Phoenixes one of these days. Until then, Red Rolfe is going to play on another playoff team, somehow.

Analysis

Reggie "The Slow Death Jackson!

Analysis

Crush! Kill! Destroy!

Analysis

So...do you have a challenge you'd like to make?

Analysis

Winfield has been decent at least.

Analysis

You would think there's some better use for Matt Williams, even if I haven't figured it out yet.

Analysis

I'm not sure that Cabrera is going to turn it around this season. He got a bad roll this time around, and that's not something you can fix.

Analysis

They've been a lot better since the first two months.

Analysis

Oh, good, the Cultists are coming back.

Analysis

Up and down and up and down.

Analysis

Let's get suicidal!

Analysis

The Cultists have a chance to take the W's out, but it's not a good chance.

Analysis

It has been a very bad month for the Air Raids.

Standings and Leaders

The concept of Earth-2 as a parallel continuity was popularized by DC Comics in the '60s and '70s. While a few of their characters, most notably Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, had been published continually during the '50s, most of their other characters, such as Flash and the Green Lantern, had disappeared from comics in the early '50s, only to be restarted a few years later with dramatically redefined characters when super-hero comics once again become profitable. Eventually fans started to ask what had happened to the earlier versions of the characters, and DC decided to indulge them by writing a number of stories featuring the modern iterations of the heroes interacting with those from '40s and early '50s, the first of which, "The Flash of Two Worlds" was published in Flash (v1) #123 (Sept. 1961). For the purposes of writing these stories, these older characters were said to live on Earth-2...

Mark Grace of Earth-2 woke up in his bed. He had heard that his Earth-1 counterpart had been looking for him, though he didn't have a chance to meet him before Earth-1 Mark Grace had gone back to his own world and been killed in a police shootout. There was something really depressing about hearing that an alternate version of yourself was dead, especially since he had never gotten that gyros he had wanted.

Getting up, he looked around at the large containers of rocket cycle fuel he kept in his bedroom for reasons too complicated to explain. Ironically, this version of Mark Grace had no rocket cycle to fuel. But maybe he could do something about that...

A. Go to Earth-1 and pick up the now-deceased Earth-1 Mark Grace's rocket cycle!

B. Go get a gyros despite the fact that horrible things happen whenever Mark Grace gets within 50 feet of that food!

C. Trigger Crisis on Infinite Graces!

# ? Jan 20, 2013 01:36

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

Mashers:

nap lajoie 2b
larry doby cf
alex rodriguez dh
dick allen 3b
larry walker rf
jeff bagwell 1b
joe torre c
eric davis lf
jim fregosi ss

and Nelson Briles Down and Dean Chance Up in his place

# ? Jan 20, 2013 01:46

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
?

I present my opinions on the Obit in list form:

Ideally, there are Mark Graces who have differing combinations of Rocket Cycle parts and Rocket Fuel.
Therefore, the more Graces, the more chance of having enough rocket power to do something ridiculous. Like get Space Gyros or something.
I like space.

Therefore, C. Let's get Crisis-y!

# ? Jan 20, 2013 01:50

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

I'm not sure what C means, so obviously it is the correct option.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 01:51

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Gyros must be attained!

# ? Jan 20, 2013 01:54

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

No longer last place and Ruth looks good finally! :woop:

# ? Jan 20, 2013 01:55

CraigK: Nov 4, 2008; by exmarx

GYROS

# ? Jan 20, 2013 01:56

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

Grinnblade posted:

Expansion Cup VIII Injury Report - June

Walney Rakers
SP Carl Weilman (Got Raked) - 14 days
(also Tanana has a 1 day injury but he's the 2nd pitcher out so it should be fine)

Send down Weilman for Darwin, who goes to LR, with Candelaria becoming SP5. Keep the rotation this even after Weilman recovers, as I was planning it anyway.

Mornacale

I don't think either of those are workable, sorry.

dubsteppin

With the above state of my pitching, my need for Gibson has grown larger. I have a HoF 2B in Eddie Collins that, despite getting on a bit, is exponentially better than both what you're currently putting out there and what is left in your feeders. I could package him with my first round Super Draft pick or both of my third round dispersal picks. Any interest?

Voting B on the obituary.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 02:00

UltimoDragonQuest: Oct 5, 2011

# ? Jan 20, 2013 02:06

Giovanni_Sinclair: Apr 25, 2009; It was on this day that his greatest enemy defeated, the true lord of darkness arose. His name? MARIO.

Going with C because maybe this might lead us to gyros in a safe matter.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 02:30

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Rocket Cycles are always in style. Always. A

# ? Jan 20, 2013 03:11

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

C Why do we keep denying this man gyros?

# ? Jan 20, 2013 03:39

Senerio: Oct 19, 2009; Roëmænce is ælive!

# ? Jan 20, 2013 04:52

Mooseontheloose: May 13, 2003

C

As for the HARVARD ELITES

Put in George Hendrick for Van Slyke. Switch Bonilla and Van Slyke in the line up and bring up Lou Brock again and stop blowing up my players!

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:14

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Smasher posted:

So...do you have a challenge you'd like to make?

The Luna Landers issue a Ratings Challenge.

Tim Raines is arguably the 2nd greatest leadoff hitter of all-time, and in 1985, was just hitting the very peak of his powers:

1983: .298/.393/.429
1984: .309/.393/.437
1985: .320/.405/.475
1986: .334/.413/.476
1987: .330/.429/.526
Total: .318/.406/.467

His Super League line is .237 with a .315 OBA, a massive dropoff. Further, this is a one-year aberration, as this version of Raines has an established Super League track record:

SL III: .292/.360
SL IV: .270/.349
SL VI: .262/.362
SL VII: .271/.365

A 40-50 point dip in on-base percentage is no small matter, especially for a leadoff hitter.

Noting that his batting average is dropping by a similar amount, I suspect the deficiency lies in his contact hitting.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 05:42

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

So, since people were asking...

A Brief Summary of the Titles of the Super-League

Intercontinental Smasher League Championship

The Intercontinental Championship was the first secondary title ever contested in the Super-League, having debuted in Super-League III, when, according to legend, the Greater Googly-Mooglies brought it into the league, after The Goog won it in an unsanctioned Super-League tournament in Rio de Janeiro. This, of course, is obviously false, as the tournament, in fact, took place in over-city of Rio de Aires, where the elite of Brazil live in splendor in a dome that flies 10,000 feet above the squalor of the surface city. It is generally agreed that The Goog lied about the origin of the belt to prevent any backlash from those who find the existence of Rio de Aires to be little more than a monument to the excesses of capitalism.

The belt itself is made mainly of gold, more specifically, gold originally paid by the American government to Latin American warlords to finance anti-communist death squads in the '80s. For obvious reasons, this gold is considered practically sacred by the citizens of Rio de Aires, and the creation of the Intercontinental Championship was done with great ceremony in the famous Citadel de Galt, where only those with a net worth over $15 million are allowed to enter. As is tradition, "The Trees" by Rush played as, in an act of sacrifice, one of the preserved bones of Ludvig von Mises was ground to dust and sprinkled over the belt. It is said that, if the bearer of the belt is pure of heart and sincerely committed to fiscal discipline, that he can hear the voice of that great Austrian economist imparting words of wisdom to him.

Unfortunately, he does this in German, and as it is impractical for the owner of a baseball team to free the market from the socialist regulations of the federal government, his advice is not particularly helpful.

Vital Statistics

Created: Super-League III
First Champion: Greater Googly-Mooglies
Longest Reign (Continuous): Seattle SuperSonics (17 Weeks, SLV, Wk. 7 - SLV Wk. 24)
Longest Reign (Combined): Cleveland Unicorns (30 Weeks)
Most Reigns: Cleveland Unicorns, Florida Oranges (4 each)

League Affiliation

Smasher League
Super-League III, Week 1 - Super-League III, Week 9
Dynamo League
Super-League III, Week 9 - Gauntlet III, Round 4
Vacant
Gauntlet III, Round 4 - Gauntlet III, Round 6
Smasher League
Gauntlet III, Round 6 - Super-League V, Challenge
Vacant
Super-League V, Challenge - Super-League VI, Pre-season
Dynamo League
Super-League VI, Pre-season - Gauntlet VI, Round 4
Vacant
Gauntlet VI, Round 4 - Gauntlet VI, Round 9
Dynamo League
Gauntlet VI, Round 9 - Present

Memorable Moments

Super-League III, Week 9 - The Cleveland Unicorns take the title back with them to the Dynamo League when they sweep the Milwaukee Drinkers in an interleague series.

Super-League V, Week 7 - The Burma Imperialists win the title from the Orchids, only to lose it a mere three games later to the SuperSonics, who unified the Intercontinental and European Titles, holding both titles for 17 weeks.

Super-League V, Week 25 - En route to a final showdown with the Macho Men, the Gander Doppel-Bangers win the Intercontinental Title from the Bobbleheads. They would retain the title through their last playoff run, and even into the challenge series with the Macho Men. The title is vacated after the Macho Men banish the Doppels to the Land of Shadows and Regret.

Super-League VI, Week 18 - The Biffs, a perennial disappointment, win the Intercontinental Title from the Unicorns and hold it for five weeks, proving that even the lowliest of teams can be a champion. They are brutally relegated after the season.

Super-League VII - The Polyarny Postmodernists somehow win and lose the Intercontinental Title three times in a single season. Denny Rainwater is heavily involved.

Gauntlet VI, Round 9 - The Portland Bulldogs back into the Intercontinental Title by coming in second place in the final round of the Gauntlet. As the winners of that round, the Second City Saints, had expressed their intention to retire, they were ineligible to win the title, and so it was given the Bulldogs, their sworn enemies, instead.

Intercontinental Champions
_{By alphabetical order}

Active Champions
Albany Pessimists
Antarctica Unspecifieds
Burma Imperialists (3)
Cleveland Unicorns (4)
Florida Dickshots
Florida Oranges (4)
Fukuoka Finger-Bangers (2)
Patagonia Postmodernists (3)
Portland Bulldogs
Rochester Generics
San Juan Elephants
Web 2.0 Bloggers

Retired Champions
Chicago Bobbleheads (2)
Gander Doppel-Bangers
Queens Mercuries
Seattle SuperSonics
Second City Saints

Relegated Champions
Boston Crabs
Cleveland Communists
Des Moines Dervishes
EV-IL Corp. Villains
Free Country Fhqwhgads
Greater Googly-Mooglies
Greenbrier Orchids (2)
Hill Valley Biffs
Milwaukee Drinkers
Old Hoss Radbourns
St. Paul Bearers

I guess I'll do the rest if people really want to see them.

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Jan 20, 2013

# ? Jan 20, 2013 09:49

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

That was pretty cool, I would definitely like to see the rest!

# ? Jan 20, 2013 10:03

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

gently caress REGGIE JACKSON
Lineups for next week.

RHP

2B Collins
DH Boggs
CF Murcer
3B Schmidt
1B Killebrew
LF Simmons
RF Jackson
C Posada
SS Jeter

LHP

2B Collins
DH Boggs
3B Schmidt
1B Killebrew
LF Simmons
CF Maddox
SS Jeter
C Davis
RF Wells

Paul Zuvella fucked around with this message at 15:36 on Jan 20, 2013

# ? Jan 20, 2013 15:24

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
?

Smasher Dynamo posted:

I guess I'll do the rest if people really want to see them.

That was a really fun and entertaining read, so yeah. I'd like more deliberating on the Lore of the Super League.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 19:25

Archie Goodwin: Jan 2, 2012; Using intelligence guided by experience since 1934.

In case you haven't run the week yet, I need to rest some key guys:

Send down Schmidt, call up Steady Eddie. Murray plays first, and LF and CF are hilarious Phillie Kruk/Rickey Dykstra/Mays platoons.

More title histories would be fun when you've the time, just don't lose the old continuity.

Speaking of, A.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 19:29

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

I have to stop making those long non-update posts because they kill the thread.

Smasher League Week 18 Injury Report

Luna Landers
Eddie Collins (2B) (Exposed to SUDDEN DEATH!) - 9 days

New England Arguments
Roy Halladay (SP) (Asked too many questions about lights in the sky) - 12 days

South Bolton Eazy W's
John Olerud (1B) (Listen, I know you're thinking about you're next move, but don't. Because it's already....Dunn!) - Out for Season

# ? Jan 20, 2013 19:44

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

Smasher Dynamo posted:

South Bolton Eazy W's
John Olerud (1B) (Listen, I know you're thinking about you're next move, but don't. Because it's already....Dunn!) - Out for Season

Well, gently caress. At least I have the Chosen Dunn and Motherfuckin' Mark Grace to help me out...

# ? Jan 20, 2013 20:00

ManifunkDestiny: Aug 2, 2005; THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN THE SEAHAWKS IS RUSSELL WILSON'S TAINT SWEAT

Seahawks #1 fan since 2014.

Ugh. Put Thurmon Munson in vs. lefties, Miguel Montero vs. Righties, same spot int he lineup

# ? Jan 20, 2013 21:45

Robert Deadford: Mar 1, 2008; Ultra Carp

Hmph. I think we should move Clemens into the no. 2 pitcher's slot and until Halladay is feeling better, Derek Lowe gets a couple of starts.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 23:11

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

The wind around my apartment was so strong that it knocked out power in a 2 square mile area, so I just got electricity and internet access back. Kinda sucked.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 23:15

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

My pitchers are remembering what to do - look at those ERAs! Someone is actually hitting! Starting to come together guys, it's starting to come together.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 23:27

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

Expansion Cup VIII - June
AS A BLANKET NOTICE: ALL THE NEW ROOKIES WILL BE GONE BY NEXT UPDATE, THEY'RE FROM THE AMATEUR DRAFT

IN ADDITION: BROOKLYN BABIPS -- C/RF DAVE ENGLE IS REINJURED FOR 61 DAYS, HOW IT MISSED THE INJURY REPORT I HAVE NO IDEA

Detroit Times posted:

MANATEES WIN 3-2 IN TWELVE, EXPAND LEAD IN LARKIN DIVISION TO TWO GAMES

Detroit, MI - Wait, what?

At the start of June, the Miami Manatees were in a precarious position. Yes, they lead the McQueen League Larkin Division by half a game, but with Alex Rodriguez not quite back in the swing of things, Randy Johnson out for a month and a half, and Al Leiter out for the season, many thought that the Manatees were destined for a spectacular sudden drop to the cellar.

GrickleGrass's team, however, has proven the critics wrong, putting together a solid showing by winning every series against a division opponent so far this month.

Both starting pitchers threw absolute gems, with Miami's Kevin Brown going 7 innings with 2 runs off 5 hits, 6 strikeouts and no walks, while Detroit's Schoolboy Rowe went 9 innings, giving up 2 runs on 2 home runs while striking out 6 as well. Alex Rodriguez's 9th-inning solo shot would send the teams to extras, where the relievers picked up where the starters left off, with both teams being held scoreless until Miami's Edgar Martinez sent a Bill Henry fastball over the left-field fence. Cougars owner cbx sent out Rube Benton for damage control, but the Cougars could not respond in the bottom of the inning, giving the Manatees a 3-2 victory.

After the game, confusion reigned in the Manatees locker room as GrickleGrass misunderstood the press's questions repeatedly. In the Detroit locker room, cbx was found screaming at Bill Henry and every Cougars player in earshot about how he wished he was still operating the Splinter Cells so he could un-person every "idiot" responsible for the loss.

Game notes:
- All three Manatees runs came off solo home runs, and all three home runs were the players' only hit of the game.

Omaha Herald posted:

FORGETTABLES DROP SOME SCIENCE ON THE COLLIDERS, WIN 7-4

Omaha, NE - Don't look now, but the Taggart League Sele Division is becoming a race.

At the start of the month, the CERN Colliders held a five-game lead over the Forgettables. However, the Forgettables' win today caps off a four-game sweep of the Colliders, pulling them to within spitting distance of the Colliders atop the Sele Division. In addition, the Forgettables have only lost four games to date this month. To say they're hot is an understatement.

And nowhere was it more obvious than today's game, where the Forgettables surged out to a 2-0 lead on back-to-back base hits from Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez. The Colliders would respond with one run in the bottom of the third, only to see the Forgettables score 3 in the fourth and 2 in the fifth to pretty much seal the Colliders' fate, although runs in each of the last three innings brought the score to its final of 7 to 4.

After the game, a furious theacox presented a PowerPoint on how mathematically improbable it was for this result to occur, then blamed the variance on a bird dropping bread onto the pitcher's mound pre-game. At the conclusion of the presentation, only about 10% of it understandable by the press at hand, theacox concluded: "I DEMAND a peer review of today's results! This is improbable! This is ABSURD!"

Gabriel Pope, for his part, was ecstatic. "I've been away for a few years, but this team could GO places in the Super-League. I can't wait to irritate the hell out of Smasher again! It'll be just like old times!"

Analysis
Well hopefully Scioscia shows up for a week or two while Murphy coalesces.

Analysis
"Uh... where the gently caress did that Engle injury come from and why was it not on the Injury Report?" Those are two very good questions. Ones that I do not have a good answer for besides "I'm sorry."

Analysis
Is there a reason you aren't using Wally Schang regularly?

Analysis
The Brian Giles Experiment may have just blown up in your face. And for that, I feel great ~~schadenfreude~~sympathy.

Analysis
Well your replacements didn't kill themselves for the most part.

Analysis
Tough luck with Van Slyke.

Analysis
gently caress. Yeah, definitely some changes coming this month.

Analysis
:laffo:

at Conine's batting average. Otherwise, like I said last update, I think this might be a case of a decent team in a division of gods.

Analysis
Might I suggest Joe Girardi instead of Paul Gillespie?

Analysis
Octavio Dotel went 2-1. You expanded your lead to 4.5 games with 2/5ths of your rotation shot. REVEAL YOUR SECRETS :catstare:

Analysis
Hmm. Weimer will be back just before the All-Star break.

Analysis
CHESTY THOMAS. That is all. (Okay, tangentially related, once again the only thing I can really see as an issue is your catching.)

Analysis
Remember when I said I had my doubts your bullpen could get games to Rivera? I retract that statement entirely. :stare:

Analysis
Okay I think I managed to actually get your roster moves right this time. gently caress. Also Chan Ho comes back after the All-Star break, but do you really need him back that badly?

Analysis
They don't always win games, but when they do, they loving embarrass a top contender on the road. _{Instead of just being embarrassing._{seriously fix your goddamn team}}

Analysis
Pitching! Pitching! Your kingdom for pitching!

Analysis
Buddy Bell is pining for Walney, apparently. Hopefully he gets over it.

Analysis
I'd say something about Weilman but you're already sending him down, so onwards to another month, eh?

Division Standings

# ? Jan 20, 2013 23:29

Grinnblade: Sep 24, 2007

I'm still mulling over what I'm going to do roster-wise, but while I'm here, I'll also go ahead and vote A for the obit. Yeah it's a relatively tame choice, but look where choosing excitement has got us (in a clusterfuck of epic proportions).

# ? Jan 20, 2013 23:37

Cthulhu Dreams: Dec 11, 2010; If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Oh, and C for the Obit, though at this point I am already totally confused.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 23:37

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
?

gently caress.

Alright. Discontinue both the Baerga/Fuller platoon and the Belle/Giles platoon ASA-loving-P. Baerga and Belle are back to batting full time. Fuller on the bench, Giles to the Minors.

Let the rest ride, there's not a lot I can do at this point, except hope that I didn't gently caress it up too much.

If anyone wants to take rookie 95 Brian Giles, (Soon To Be) Super-Utility of the Pittsburgh Pirates off my hands for anything that'll fill a hole in my team (namely some pitching that's halfway decent or a good power bat) I'd much appreciate it if we can work out a deal.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 23:59

GrickleGrass: Dec 18, 2011; I speak for the trees.

B me up.

And go Manatees! I'm terribly surprised at how well they're holding off being god-awful. With half of the season down, watch their collapse as they fall to even as another month passes, back only 3 games after another, and at last end their sixth month adventure fifteen games out of first.

But for now I praise the immense blubbery masses that are the Manatees.

# ? Jan 20, 2013 23:59

UltimoDragonQuest: Oct 5, 2011

If Octavio Dotel is doing well somebody needs to give Boggs a start.

# ? Jan 21, 2013 00:15

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

I think the one thing that demands a peer review is what the gently caress happened to our offense during the entire Forgettables series? A four games series and we score 5 Goddamned runs?!? As a tribute, I'm close to going Earl Weaver all over this loving thing...

Send Jack Lapp and Amos Strunk to AAA. Bring up Andy Pafko and Mark Koenig.
If there are any DH games, use The Babe there and put Joe Adcock in right.

New Lineups:
vs RH

CF Earl Combs
LF Bob Meusel
1B Lou Gehrig
RF Babe Ruth
C Wally Schang
3B Eddie Mathews
2B Tony Lazzeri
SS Mark Koenig
P

vs LH

CF Earl Combs
LF Joe Adcock
1B Lou Gehrig
RF Babe Ruth
3B Eddie Mathews
C Pat Collins
2B Tony Lazzeri
SS Johnny Logan
P

Pitch Outs (to prevent stolen bases): 0
Bringing in Defensive Replacements:1
Starting Pitchers on Short Rest: -1

theacox fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Jan 21, 2013

# ? Jan 21, 2013 00:21

cbx: Dec 4, 2007; Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Alright. So. Let's give ol' Greenberg a rest so he doesn't die.

Pete Fox to RF, Willie Mays back to CF, Orlando Cepeda to LF..
Fred Merkle to 1B, Kuenn to 3B, Rogell to SS.

As far as pitching... swap Sailor Stroud and Tommy Bridges.

e: Forgot to name a DH. Eh... Chief Meyers fills in at DH for now.

cbx fucked around with this message at 00:51 on Jan 21, 2013

# ? Jan 21, 2013 00:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 17:43

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

What if the rocket cycle was made of gyros?

# ? Jan 21, 2013 00:24

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