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GrickleGrass
Dec 18, 2011

I speak for the trees.
Pick 'Em
Burma & Seattle

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ScottyJSno
Aug 16, 2010

日本が大好きです!

Pick 'Em
Bio Sparks
Imperialists

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
Pick 'em: Also Sprach Babe Ruth-stra
Pick TWO!
Burma Imperialists

Saturn Biosparks

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
Pick 'em: Also Sprach Babe Ruth-stra
Pick TWO!
Rochester Generics
Saturn Biosparks

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Cthulhu Dreams posted:

Soria? He's always done well for me.

Year, please?


mentholmoose posted:

I'll offer Rollie Fingers and Robin Roberts for the pick if I survive into Super League IX.

Too young and too old, and too conditional of a stipulation.


ToiletofSadness posted:

I'd be willing to talk about Smoltz once the play offs are over.

2001 Smoltz? It's a possibility, but I'm remaining open to offers.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
I don't think there's going to be an update tomorrow. Just a heads up.

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

I don't think there's going to be an update tomorrow. Just a heads up.

Don't worry about it. You've been a machine over the past year, you shouldn't feel obligated.

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Roëmænce is ælive!

Smasher Dynamo posted:


Pick 'em: Also Sprach Babe Ruth-stra
Pick TWO!
Rochester Generics
Saturn Biosparks

mrnoun
Jul 24, 2007

quote:

Also, anyone want to memorialize the Smokers?

I'll get to them this weekend if no one beats me to it.

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

GrickleGrass posted:

Pick 'Em
Burma & Seattle

what the gently caress are you thinking, I'm gonna finish last

Stay the course I guess, go Suicides

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Pick 'em: Also Sprach Babe Ruth-stra
Pick TWO!
Burma Imperialists
Saturn Biosparks

ForeverBWFC
Oct 19, 2011

Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!
Cbx, I have Axford, Smith, Sparky Lyle and Rob Nen all open for negotiation. Bear in mind that three of those will be hampered by the cheating tactical dimensions of my stadium dooming inflating right-handed pitching.

CVE
Jan 27, 2012
Pick 'em

Burma
Generics

Sorry mooseontheloose I switched you up with mentholmoose. But thanks nevertheless for your input. It basically confirms my suspicions.

As for I why I didn't start Wally Pipp... well he rolled bad and I might have forgotten it :sweatdrop:

CVE fucked around with this message at 13:12 on Feb 7, 2013

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Pick TWO!
Burma Imperialists
Saturn Biosparks

Keep on rollin' Burma

Ginge
Sep 8, 2011

Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!
Pick 'em: Also Sprach Babe Ruth-stra
Pick TWO!
Burma Imperialists
Rochester Generics
Saturn Biosparks
Seattle Suicides

theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.
Pick 'em: Also Sprach Babe Ruth-stra
Pick TWO!
Burma Imperialists
Rochester Generics

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

ForeverBWFC posted:

Cbx, I have Axford, Smith, Sparky Lyle and Rob Nen all open for negotiation. Bear in mind that three of those will be hampered by the cheating tactical dimensions of my stadium dooming inflating right-handed pitching.

Years on the offered chaps so that I might do my due diligence?

ForeverBWFC
Oct 19, 2011

Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

cbx posted:

Years on the offered chaps so that I might do my due diligence?

I'll get them for you once I get back from work (3 hours or so).

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

cbx posted:

2001 Smoltz? It's a possibility, but I'm remaining open to offers.
Yeah, it's 2001 Smoltz.


Expansion Cup VIII Playoff and Gauntlet Pick Em Scores and Standings

Anyway, with no update likely forthcoming today, I'm going to post a pick em standings update. If you were one of the few smart enough to keep riding the Imperialists/Generics bandwagon, you likely moved up in the standings.

pre:
Pander                  18
Senerio                 18
Armitage                17
Gabriel Pope            16
Monathin                16
cbx                     14
NotThatSamBeckett       12
CVE                     11
Gricklegrass            11
theacox                 11
gingemidget              8
Mooseontheloose          8
ScottyJSno               7
Bograt                   3

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆


Not that this will stave off relegation, but I'd like to move Salmon to the minors and bring up Gwynn for the next round please.

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET
Here is, I believe, the draft pool for the dispersal draft, with players from the Pessimists, Smokers, Arguments, Commies, Oranges, and Air Raids. I also ranked them according to my own personal beliefs. Before drafting analyze these players yourself, though. Keep in mind this is a completely unofficial listing of the players.

Starting Pitchers
There's a lot of good starting pitchers available. In his prime Walter Johnson is the clear best pitcher, while older Pete Alexander is likely the second best. Both Roger Clemens', Lefty Grove, and both Kevin Browns' are possible aces for a rotation, along with younger Whitey Ford. Beyond that, everybody up to Andy Pettitte will be OK to good in the Super League. Comedy option: Ned Garver, who took life advice from Ned Flanders in Super League VIII and decided to be nice and let hitters get on base rather than trying to get them out.

The complete list:
'17 Walter Johnson
'22 Pete Alexander
'86 Roger Clemens
'95 Roger Clemens
'27 Lefty Grove
'96 Kevin Brown
'97 Kevin Brown
'51 Whitey Ford
'34 Carl Hubbell
'06 Roy Halladay
'64 Whitey Ford
'97 Bret Saberhagen
'11 Cliff Lee
'51 Robin Roberts
'18 Bob Shawkey
'12 Stephen Strasbourg
'05 Andy Pettitte
'12 Zack Greinke
'86 Jose Rijo
'11 Jake Peavy
'12 Jered Weaver
'97 Tim Wakefield
'91 Frank Viola
'96 Jason Schmidt
'12 Dan Haren
'34 Hal Schumacher
'97 Derek Lowe
'72 Dock Ellis
'57 Billy Pierce
'76 Jim Kaat
'05 Cy Falkenberg
'64 Mel Stottlemyre
'12 Gio Gonzalez
'84 Rick Sutcliffe
'04 Mike Hampton
'12 Jordan Zimmermann
'90 Bob Welch
'34 Mel Harder
'48 Johnny Antonelli
'11 Chris Sale
'45 Spud Chandler
'64 Al Downing
'96 Denny Neagle
'50 Ned Garver
'64 Bob Veale
'71 Vida Blue
'12 CJ Wilson
'64 Wally Bunker
'86 Joaquin Andujar
'89 Mike Krukow
'11 Daniel Hudson
'89 Terry Mulholland
'86 Curt Young

Relief Pitchers
Again, there is a lot of talent to be had here. I wouldn't select a reliever until the third round of the draft, however. John Smoltz is clearly the best of the bunch; although he's a bit old to stick as a starter, he could probably spot start along with being a closer. The Eck, Wagner, and the three Nen brothers will be pretty good, and Nathan, Storen, and Reardon should be serviceable. JJ Putz is about the lowest usable reliever. Comedy option: Atlee Hammaker, with an 80 name tool, somehow won 8 games for the Pessimists in Super League VIII.

The complete list:
'04 John Smoltz
'84 Dennis Eckersley
'04 Billy Wagner
'96 Robb Nen
'97 Robb Nen
'00 Robb Nen
'06 Joe Nathan
'12 Drew Storen
'81 Jeff Reardon
'11 Brad Ziegler
'91 John Franco
'11 JJ Putz
'04 BJ Ryan
'06 Pat Neshek
'97 Tom Gordon
'01 John Rocker
'91 Jeff Innis
'12 Tyler Clippard
'72 Lindy McDaniel
'89 Craig Lefferts
'51 Jim Konstanty
'12 Ernesto Frieri
'12 Sean Burnett
'11 Sergio Santos
'00 Felix Rodriguez
'57 Dixie Howell
'10 Joba Chamberlain
'97 Butch Henry
'12 Jordan Walden
'89 Atlee Hammaker
'57 Paul LaPalme
'51 Andy Hansen

Catchers
There are no sure things here, although Hartnett and Cochrane are close. The group kind of falls off after Tettleton and Mauer, though. Thurman Munson might be useful, but he also might crash and burn. Comedy option: Bobby Estalella, who couldn't even handle major league pitching, let alone the Super League.

The complete list:
'34 Gabby Hartnett
'27 Mickey Cochrane
'86 Mickey Tettleton
'06 Joe Mauer
'70 Thurman Munson
'64 Smoky Burgess
'64 Elston Howard
'11 Miguel Montero
'99 Mike Lieberthal
'04 Javy Lopez
'26 Pat Collins
'90 Mike Scioscia
'64 Jim Pagliaroni
'97 Jason Varitek
'04 Jason Kendall
'50 Sherm Lollar
'89 Bob Brenly
'00 Bobby Estalella

First Basemen
Pujols is better than McGwire, if only because McGwire was injured all the time. McGwire also wasn't a great defender. Clark through Konerko should be alright playing first, although I wouldn't want any of them to start full time. Keith Hernandez has his glorious lip jacket going for him, though. Comedy option: Nick Etten, who was one of the star players on the 1942 Phillies, a team that went 42-109.

The complete list:
'07 Albert Pujols
'12 Albert Pujols
'89 Mark McGwire
'86 Mark McGwire
'89 Will Clark
'87 Don Mattingly
'79 Keith Hernandez
'97 Mo Vaughn
'93 Fred McGriff
'11 Paul Konerko
'45 Nick Etten
'34 Bill Terry
'12 Mike Morse
'04 Rafael Palmeiro
'86 Dave Kingman

Second Basemen
Nap Lajoie is a deadballer infielder, so he can't play defense but he can get on base a ton. He also temporarily had a team named after him. Whoever drafts Lajoie should, in his honor, rename their team the Naps. Young-ish Joe Morgan is second, although both him and Lajoie would make fine starters on a Super League team. Kent and Alomar can hit but not field, and Fox can field but not hit. Grantham, Stirnweiss, and Polanco could be useful bench pieces, but not much more. Comedy option: Marcus Giles, who was totally as good as his brother, honest.

The complete list:
'05 Nap Lajoie
'69 Joe Morgan
'00 Jeff Kent
'97 Roberto Alomar
'57 Nellie Fox
'34 George Grantham
'45 Snuffy Stirnweiss
'98 Placido Polanco
'04 Placido Polanco
'04 Brian Roberts
'04 Marcus Giles
'97 Jeff Frye
'89 Robby Thompson

Shortstops
NOMAH! But for real, there are no answers here at short. Garciaparra can hit but not field, Trammell is okay, but not good, and Smith can field but not hit, if, of course, he doesn't get lost in the Springfield Mystery Spot. Tejada was once traded straight up to the Landers for Greg Maddux, a move that was reversed out of the goodness of Faustoan Bargain's heart because he didn't want to inflict Miguel Tejada on another owner. Comedy option: Granny Hamner, who was not actually anybody's grandmother.

The complete list:
'97 Nomar Garciaparra
'86 Alan Trammell
'92 Ozzie Smith
'04 Miguel Tejada
'57 Luis Aparicio
'97 John Valentin
'51 Granny Hamner
'68 Dick McAuliffe
'00 Rich Aurilia
'11 Alexei Ramirez
'89 Jose Uribe
'86 Alfredo Griffin

Third Basemen
Young George Brett is likely a better hitter than 32 year old Chipper Jones, though they should both be pretty good. Ron Santo is a good supporting piece, though if you're counting on him to be a star, you're screwed. Williams is alright, but, to quote Smasher, "couldn't draw a walk if the lives of 50 orphans trapped on a bus depended on it. That was a dark day in Matt Williams' life." Comedy option: Willie Jones, who is actually a hybrid of Willie Mays and Chipper Jones.

The complete list:
'77 George Brett
'04 Chipper Jones
'69 Ron Santo
'89 Matt Williams
'12 Ryan Zimmerman
'68 Eddie Mathews
'04 Melvin Mora
'12 Mark Trumbo
'51 Willie Jones
'57 Frank Malzone
'57 Bubba Phillips

Left Fielders
Ted Williams was so great people tried to use his frozen head for batting practice, probably thinking they could gain his hitting prowess, or something.

No, really: http://sports.espn.go.com/boston/mlb/news/story?id=4524957

Back when his head was still attached to his body he was one of the greatest hitters of all time. Barry Bonds is also in the top five. Younger Barry Bonds will likely be better than BALCO Bonds. Stargell through Braun will not be great hitters, but alright. Comedy option: THE Carlos Quentin.

Who's THE Carlos Quentin?

The complete list:
'57 Ted Williams
'89 Barry Bonds
'00 Barry Bonds
'64 Willie Stargell
'57 Minnie Minoso
'45 Charlie Keller
'11 Ryan Braun
'51 Ralph Kiner
'00 Ellis Burks
'51 Del Ennis
'11 Carlos Quentin
'91 Vince Coleman
'97 Troy O'Leary
'11 Gerardo Parra

Center Fielders
Willie Mays is a better all around player than Mickey Mantle. I'm high on Richie Ashburn because he knew how to take a walk, and Earl Averill is old by 1937. Ken Griffey and Larry Doby could be fringe starters, though Doby is old and Griffey is young. Mike Trout could be useful if Smasher decides to up his ratings to match his actual play; Mogul rates him really poorly because he's only played two years so far. Comedy option: there's nothing funny about Jim Piersall.

The complete list:
'62 Willie Mays
'64 Mickey Mantle
'51 Richie Ashburn
'37 Earl Averill
'90 Ken Griffey Jr.
'57 Larry Doby
'89 Andy Van Slyke
'12 Mike Trout
'57 Jim Piersall

Right Fielders
Aside from Williams and Bonds, Mel Ott is probably one of the best hitters available. In his prime, he should be a star in the league. Clemente and Suzuki both really can't take a walk, though they should hit for a high average. Clemente has more power, and he's a couple years younger, so he's ahead on this list. JD Drew through Roger Maris are alright bench players, but I'm not sure if they should start at such a high offense position. Comedy options: Taffy Wright and Candy Maldonado. I can just imagine the sweetness.

The complete list:
'34 Mel Ott
'64 Roberto Clemente
'04 Ichiro Suzuki
'93 Jose Canseco
'86 Jose Canseco
'04 JD Drew
'12 Jayson Werth
'30 Kiki Cuyler
'76 Rusty Staub
'64 Roger Maris
'57 Jackie Jensen
'11 Justin Upton
'12 Torii Hunter
'42 Taffy Wright
'12 Bryce Harper
'89 Candy Maldonado
'34 George Watkins

I can post advice for the expansion teams and perhaps a mock draft sometime tomorrow likely.

mentholmoose fucked around with this message at 18:48 on Feb 9, 2013

ForeverBWFC
Oct 19, 2011

Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

cbx posted:

Years on the offered chaps so that I might do my due diligence?

'11 Axford, '88 Smith, '79 Sparky Lyle and '97 Rob Nen

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
Some of these offers are actually pretty good, depending on the specifics. But now that I've seen the draft pool, I'm going to wait until after my team either wins the EC or flames out in a bright explosion visible all the way to Moscow. Russia, not Idaho. If I win the EC, I might be able to shore up an area of weakness and/or add a trade piece for some better offers.

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

Pick'Em!

Still riding the Burma-Rochester gravy train here.

Also, menthol, an overview will really be appreciated, so feel free to do that if you are so inclined.

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Here's some free advice: draft the Oranges.

ToiletofSadness
Mar 27, 2010

Monathin posted:

Also, menthol, an overview will really be appreciated, so feel free to do that if you are so inclined.
I know you didn't ask for my opinion, but here's my take on your team:
  1. You need better starting pitching - your pitching staff got absolutely hammered in the expansion cup. You allowed a half-run more than the already high league average and your staff's oOBP was about 20 points higher than average). Some of that can be blamed on your team's bad defense, but your starters are guys that would be number 3 or worse starters on most Super League teams. I'd also find room for older Orel Hershiser (you have the 95 Indians, right?) at least in your minors as an injury replacement option. Luckily, there are plenty of good potential aces in the draft pool. You need at least one of the top 4. Because of your bad defense, you're going to want to prioritize high K/BB rates and please avoid pitchers older than about 35 if you can. Short of Pete Alexander, they don't tend to be very reliable in the long run.
  2. You're one corner infielder short of a Super-League caliber team. Paul Sorrento and Hans Lobert do not belong in the starting lineup of any SL team. Now I understand Sorrento is probably only playing to cover for an injured Thome, but the point remains. You either need to play Thome at 3B and find a better 1B or put Thome at 1B and find a good 3B. There's more elite talent at 1B but those might be gone by the time you get to the second round. I'd probably try to target Ron Santo here and have Thome play 1B as that improves infield defense dramatically.
  3. You need a quality catcher. Carrying 2 Cs with career OPS+ below 100 creates a gaping hole in your lineup. Alomar is acceptable as a backup but you might want to re-scan your feeders to see if you have any better options here. I don't have any suggestions on which catcher to go after as almost any of the options will likely be better than what you have at the moment.
  4. You don't have enough quality hitters to be in the DH league. Ancient Eddie Murray simply isn't good enough for the Super League. Even prime Eddie Murray tends to be about average. Now you could easily move one of Thome, Ramirez, or Belle out of the field and draft another corner infielder/outfielder. And if you didn't already have your 3 dispersal picks tied up at SP, C, and 1B or 3B, this is exactly what I'd suggest you do. One question, is one of the late 80s Reds teams a part of your feeders (I assume that's where Barry Larkin comes from)? If so, why isn't Eric Davis on your roster? You could put him in RF and then move one of Belle/Ramirez to LF and the other to DH.

fake edit: oh, nevermind, I see that Beet strip-mined the other useful players from the 87 Reds from you in that trade for ancient Gaylord Perry. Ugh, and that addendum made it worse... That's unfortunate that he ripped you off so bad. Hopefully he gets relegated for that. You want to at least make room for 1987 Paul O'Neill on your final roster. You're woefully short on backup OFs.

Ok, in summary, you need (1)better starters, (2) another corner IF, and (3) a SL caliber starting catcher. Ideally, I'd say draft 2 SPs, but the other needs are too pressing. Maybe you draft one of the elite OFs (that'd be Bonds/Williams/Mays/Mantle) in the draft and try and spin them to one of the current SL teams for a package that could cover a couple of these needs. However, seeing how badly beet screwed you, I'd consult with an outside party on future trades.

Future areas for improvement: 2B and RP and SP. Carlos Baerga is really more of a backup in the super league, but he's probably good enough until we get to the in-season draft. Your relievers are all probably below average and are going to cost you at least a handful of wins over the course of the regular season. Improve this however you can because you'll probably need to spend your other in-season draft pick on another SP.

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician
Oh poo poo is it too late to change my gauntler roster? I forgot about the existence of Lefty O'Doul. If not:

Monicro posted:



The grand finale of the Florida Dickshots is at hand.

Gauntlet Roster:

C: Gary Carter (1981)
C: Walker Cooper (1946)
1B: Eddie Murray (1983)
1B: Ernie Banks (1967)
1B: Johnny Mize (1946)
2B: Nap Lajoie (1902)
3B: Ron Santo (1967)
SS: Robin Yount (1985)
SS: Ozzie Smith (1978)
LF: Billy Williams (1967)
CF: Andre Dawson (1981)
RF: Joe Jackson (1919)
OF: Lefty O'doul (1929)
OF: Tim Raines (1981)


SP: Addie Joss (1902)
SP: Pedro Martinez (1993)
SP: Roy Oswalt (2004)
SP: Frank Smith (1911)
SP: Dennis Martinez (1983)

LRP: Steve Rogers (1981)
MRP: Bill Lee (1981)
MRP: Dick Radatz (1967)
MRP: Bill Hands (1967)
SU: Tippy Martinez (1983)
CP: Jeff Reardon (1981)


AAA:
SP: Jim Palmer (1983)
OF: Dwight Evans (1975)
3B: Sal Bando (1971)
SP: Joe Neikro (1981)
C: Ernie Lombardi (1946)

Lineup:

1. Joe Jackson RF
2. Nap Lajoie 2B
3. Eddie Murray 1B
4. Billy Williams LF
5. Ron Santo 3B
6. Robin Yount SS
7. Andre Dawson CF
8. Gary Carter C
P

Worry not, Orlando. It will all be over soon.

Grinnblade
Sep 24, 2007
Expansion Cup VIII -- September







Analysis 3rd Place, Taggart League Downing Division
DEAD!







Analysis Last Place, Taggart League Downing Division
... why the hell is there a 60 rated pitcher in your starting rotation?! :stonk:







Analysis 1st Place, Taggart League Sele Division
A force to be reckoned with, even with Koenig stinking up the place.







Analysis 4th Place, McQueen League Larkin Division
ToiletofSadness pretty much covered it, in my opinion. Also, *insert generic evil overlord laugh here*.







Analysis 1st Place, McQueen League Barreta Division
I am so hosed, aren't I? Especially because your pitching staff boasts the only perfect game thrown in Expansion Cup VIII. Son of a bitch.







Analysis Last Place, McQueen League Barreta Division
Honestly, you were just the victim of crappy balancing on my part, and if I come back for another Cup I'll definitely try to be a bit better with these sorts of things.







Analysis 1st Place, McQueen League Larkin Division
I should probably pick up some better pitching. And a better 3B.







Analysis 3rd Place, McQueen League Barreta Division
See what I said about the Elites. Although your bullpen certainly isn't helping matters.







Analysis 3rd Place, Taggart League Sele Division
Catching is one of the most difficult pieces to find but holy poo poo do you ever need some.







Analysis 2nd Place, McQueen League Larkin Division
Rickey Henderson didn't do so hot, and neither did A-Rod. That may be just bad luck, or it may be something to keep a closer eye on in SLIX.







Analysis 2nd Place, Taggart League Downing Division
I'd probably work on your bullpen most of all, followed by catching. Then again I'm not exactly the best team-builder in the world.







Analysis 2nd Place, McQueen League Barreta Division
Looking at these end-of-month snapshots I have no earthly idea why you went from being close to finishing eight back.







Analysis 2nd Place, Taggart League Sele Division
Jimmy loving Key and Mysterious GODDAMN Walker as your #2 and #1. And it didn't go too disasterously wrong. What the actual gently caress.







Analysis Last Place, Taggart League Sele Division
Holy god that rotation needs work.







Analysis Last Place, McQueen League Larkin Division
DEAD! Also, I flirted with having the Mogul AI determine the Aquamen and Beard Leaguers' lineups and rotations in the final month, but decided against it. Imagine my shock and horror when the AI actually suggested giving Jason ":stonk:" Conti the start over Musial.







Analysis 3rd Place, McQueen League Larkin Division
Egads. STARTING GODDAMN PITCHING. That is all.







Analysis 1st Place, Taggart League Downing Division
Dave Ross and Adam Dunn should probably be priorities in finding replacements.







Analysis 4th Place, McQueen League Barreta Division
You have got to figure out how to fix your defensive issues. I don't know if you want to change your stadium, or do some trading/drafting, or what, but holy living gently caress that defense.

Final Divisional Standings/League Leaders




theacox
Jun 8, 2010

You can't be serious.



The age of Mark Koenig experiments is over. Replace him with Johnny Logan.


Colliders unite!

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
I know how we can improve the Jobbers bullpen situation!

We are looking to move Carlos Beltran for a dispersal draft pick. If an existing team wants him we could ask for a reliever.

Armitage fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Feb 8, 2013

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates
Been taking a bit of a break from thinking about the Bloggers, but now I'm back and I want to say

:slick: Chick Hafey :slick:

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Armitage posted:

I know how we can improve the Jobbers bullpen situation!

We are looking to move Carlos Beltran for a dispersal draft pick. If an existing team wants him we could ask for a reliever.

It's '08 Beltran, right? How about '92 Lee Smith and '92 Todd Worrell?

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
Pick 'em: Also Sprach Babe Ruth-stra

Imperialists
Suicides

ScottyJSno
Aug 16, 2010

日本が大好きです!


Why do my starters have so many losses? What other info do I need to understand what is happenng? I mean Greg Maddux has a era of 3.08 and one of the best opp OPS in the EC. Why did he end up with 11 losses?

ScottyJSno fucked around with this message at 09:42 on Feb 8, 2013

tatankatonk
Nov 4, 2011

Pitching is the art of instilling fear.

ScottyJSno posted:

Why do my starters have so many losses? What other info do I need to understand what is happenng? I mean Greg Maddux has a era of 3.08 and one of the best opp OPS in the EC. Why did he end up with 11 losses?

Greg Maddux cannot generate runs by himself, is the problem. Wins and losses are mostly meaningless.

Grinnblade
Sep 24, 2007

ScottyJSno posted:

Why do my starters have so many losses? What other info do I need to understand what is happenng? I mean Greg Maddux has a era of 3.08 and one of the best opp OPS in the EC. Why did he end up with 11 losses?

Wellll....

tatankatonk posted:

Greg Maddux cannot generate runs by himself, is the problem. Wins and losses are mostly meaningless.

... Pretty much this. He could pitch complete game, 1-run, 2-hit gems, and it won't mean squat if the offense can't score runs.

edit: Actually, looking back at his last three losses (9/1, 9/11, 9/16), it seems to be more a case of just close games getting away from him on a clutch hit and then the Losers batting not being able to respond. For example, 9/1 against the Postmodernists he was pulled when Ichiro managed to score 2 runs on a double to make it 4-3 Postmodernists and the Losers couldn't climb out of the hole. He was on the hook, so he gets the loss.

Grinnblade fucked around with this message at 10:35 on Feb 8, 2013

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

mentholmoose posted:

It's '08 Beltran, right? How about '92 Lee Smith and '92 Todd Worrell?

Seems like Mogul likes none of the players that would be involved in the deal. Smith is older around this time, and didn't perform well in limited action, andthe missed '91 season and his seasons after that made an impact on Worrell's ratings. Beltran should probably be better than how he performed in the EC, too. Let me see what's out there.

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET
Since I'm likely to be snowed in, the mock draft and advice column should be up sometime this weekend.

oldskool is right, though; the Oranges had by far the best team that got relegated so far. It is quite a shame they got relegated, because I really liked the team.

Armitage posted:

Seems like Mogul likes none of the players that would be involved in the deal. Smith is older around this time, and didn't perform well in limited action, andthe missed '91 season and his seasons after that made an impact on Worrell's ratings. Beltran should probably be better than how he performed in the EC, too. Let me see what's out there.
FWIW he performed excellently in EC VII, with a 2.10ERA in 81.1 IP with 72 strikeouts. He just got a really bad roll this season, for some reason. He rolled an 84 in the EC and a 71 in the SL this time. Worrell had a 3.08 ERA in 49.2 IP with 39 K's with about the same rating in the EC.

e: Actually, let me see how my team does in the Gauntlet before I make any trades. Just keep the offer in mind.

mentholmoose fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Feb 8, 2013

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Walker Cooper for K-Rod, Lovable Losers?

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Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."


The following series, scheduled for the best three-out-of-five wins, is for a berth into the Dynamo League Championship Series.




Believe in James Coburn, for he who believeth in James Coburn will be granted new life...and not like some sort of life of piety and abstinence. Nah, it's going to be a life of gunfighting and sarsaparilla for all eternity. Get on board!



Ring of Iron
Fort Sumner, NM

The Ring of Iron will host Games 3 and 4 of this series.

The following men of courage chose the Coburns to win:

ScottyJSno (3 Games, 4-1)
Pander (4 Games, 6-4)




We all know who the Bangers are at this point. They have ton loads of talents acquired through years of trades. Their masterplan is to just use their superior players to destroy the rest of you, kill the Macho Men, and then laugh at the folly of those who opposed them. That said, they haven't won the Super-League since Super-League III, and they've lost their last two Finals appearances, so they aren't invincible. But, gently caress, they really do look invincible, don't they?



Sumitomo Mitsui Group Park
Fukuoka, Japan

Sumitomo Mitsui Group Park will host Games 1, 2 and 5 of the series.

The following dead-eyed cynics picked the Bangers to win:

Monathin (3 Games, 5-0)
Armitage (4 Games, 6-0)
cbx (4 Games, 5-2)
CVE (4 Games, 5-1)
gingemidget (4 Games, 6-2)
GrickleGrass (4 Games, 6-3)
mooseontheloose (4 Games, 3-2)
NotThatSamBeckett (4 Games, 5-3)
theacox (4 Games, 2-1)
Gabriel Pope (5 Games, 4-3)
Senerio (5 Games, 2-1)

Holy gently caress, a lot of your guesses were really accurate.


Game 1

Don May posted:


BANGERS LEAD OFF SERIES WITH 14-5 DEMOLITION OF COBURNS

Fukuoka- One game does not a series make, but this was not the most auspicious of starts for the underdog Coburns, who took a bad beating in today's rout.

The Finger-Bangers simply ripped apart Greg Maddux's pitches, scoring nine runs off of him in only four innings, effectively wrapping up the win by the start of the fifth inning. It was a brutal display of the Bangers' raw power, one that seemed intended to show other owners just how mighty the Bangers really were. It's hard to see how they failed at that.

Warm Sarsaparilla, as usual, was not perturbed, even after this latest massive defeat, "The Coburn gives, and the Coburn takes away. To wonder why this latest calamity has struck us is to question Coburn's plan for this team. I will not do so. I know that, if I have faith in James Coburn, that he can lead us over these godless Bangers, and take us to the promised land, where the whiskey flows from the heavens, and every man is sleepy-eyed and armed with a revolver. And much shooting takes place, only for the dead to rise the next day, to return to their drinking of whiskey and shooting of guns. Oh, what glory awaits!"

For what it is worth, Marauder also seemed rather disinterested, "We all know how this series is going to end. There is no real drama involved, and while I could waste your time with some pithy remarks about the Coburns or the like, but, to be honest, they are the Memnon to my Achilles. They have their own glories, I am sure, but, at the end of the day, I will stab them in the heart, and then they will be mostly forgotten as the epic featuring them is lost to history. Yes, that seems about right, the Coburns are going to be just another victim, their story only existing in summary form, while generations to come remember me as the conquering hero."

Marauder took a drink of his brandy, "I will be honest, these are hardly the sharpest remarks I have ever made, but the Coburns are not exactly the most inspiring of opponents. They barely made the postseason, and have shown absolutely nothing to make me think that this series is going to be anything other than another time-wasting bloodbath. How droll."

Game 2 will take place in Fukuoka and will feature Bert "The Action Man" Blyleven of the Coburns against Dazzy Vance, trying to win another game for the Bangers.

GAME NOTES

-Not a single starting player for the Coburns drew a walk into today's game. That is a bad thing.

Box Score





Game 2

Don May posted:


BANGERS COME BACK LATE, TAKE 2-0 SERIES LEAD

Fukuoka- The hurting continued today for the Coburns as the Bangers made a huge comeback to win Game 2 by a score of 8 to 3.

The Coburns, seeming to have it turned it around after a disastrous Game 1, held onto a 3-2 lead going into the bottom of the eighth inning. And that's when the Bangers broke the back of the Coburns.

Goose Gossage started in the inning for the Coburns, and immediately gave up a single to Nap Lajoie. Warm Sarasaparilla, hoping to nip this rally in the bud, brought in John Franco in relief, but Franco gave up a walk, another single, and then one more walk to force in a run, and tie the game at 3. Warm Sarsaparilla, even more frustrated, brought in Bill Campbell, hoping to at least contain the damage, but Campbell gave up a two-RBI single to Edgar Martinez upon entering the game, and then followed that up with a towering two-run shot from Duke Snider to give the Bangers a 8-3 lead. Campbell did get out of the inning without further incident, but, then again, that is faint praise after the Coburns had already given up six runs on the inning.

And, with that, the Bangers moved within one game of their fourth straight Dynamo League Championship Seris appearance, which Marauder seemed rather bored by, "Oh, is this series still going on? Very interesting. But I am already looking ahead to the next round, where, I am relatively certain, the Bangers will face the Losers once more, and, one would hope, the universe will right itself, and once again I will be the champion of this league. I suppose it is possible the Tornados might advance but I think we all agree that such a series would be even more profoundly boring than this one. But I suppose that I am getting slightly ahead of myself, as we have no technically beaten the Coburns yet, although that is a formality at this point. So, ah...let's have Barry Bonds address the media, that might be somewhat diverting."

Barry Bonds, who, being from 1991, was not grotesquely bloated by the use of steroids, did not appear much more engaged by the series than Marauder, "You know, as the greatest baseball player of my era, it's really unfortunate that my name has become inextricably linked to the steroid scandal. But I've got a plan that will fix all of that. I'm going to invest some of my fortune in advanced cyborg technology, and then turn several leading players into secret cyborgs, who will use their enhancements to dominate the game and then, when they're good and ensconced, that's when I leak it to the press that all of their favorite stars are really cyborgs! And then using steroids won't be so bad at all. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Just you watch..."

Bert Blyleven spoke for his team, "Well, this was an act of Coburn, and not my fault. Totally, definitely not my fault. Okay, getting drunk with the bullpen before the game wasn't the smartest thing I ever did, but getting drunk definitely isn't against the rules of Coburnism. I checked like three times! Beer pong? That's against the commandments of Coburn, but not drinking per se!"

Game 3 will take place in Fort Sumner. Smoky Joe Williams will try and end the Coburns' season while Sonny Siebert will try and keep their hopes alive.

GAME NOTES

-The Coburns' bullpen gave up six runs in one inning. That's still better than the Cubs did in the Bartman game.

-Jorge Posada is still comically awful at preventing runners from stealing bases.

Box Score





Game 3

Don May posted:


COBURNS LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY, WIN 5-4

Fort Sumner- When Sonny Siebert is far and away your best pitcher, your team is probably in trouble.

Still, Siebert came through with another big win today, giving the Coburns new life in this series. It was not a particularly dominating performance, as Siebert gave up four runs in seven innings, but it was good enough for the Coburns to take their first win of the series, ensuring that there will be a Game 4 where the Coburns will have a chance to even the series against the Finger-Bangers. And that certainly beats where the Coburns were coming into this game.

Warm Sarsaparilla was grateful after the game, "It is not often that gods make their will known so clearly to their followers, but there can be no doubt what has happened here today. Sonny Siebert is basically a terrible pitcher, and yet, through divine miracle, he was able to lead our team to a victory over the mighty Finger-Bangers. Were Coburn not the source of immeasurable powers, I have no doubt that the Finger-Bangers would have torn him limb by limb, with gore and entrails flying throughout the stadium, splattering the fans in attendance and making our concession stands mildly less sanitary. The blood-stained masses, horrified by the devastation, would turn to their delicious chili to give them some sort of comfort after that unpleasantness, only to learn that the blood of Siebert had turned their stew into a foul and unpalatable substance. The skies would turn red and the ground would shake as Marauder's evil penetrated the heavens themselves, and Mello Yello, that most wicked of soft drinks, would rain from the skies for the next seven nights. Fortunately, Coburn has prevented that horror, for now, but we must prepare ourselves because, even after today, we are still in danger, and the end of the Coburns could happen at any moment.

Marauder had no interest in talking to reporters, "Enough, enough, enough, enough. I have heard enough from Warm Sarsaparilla and his band of zealots, why not just skip to Game 4 for my inevitable triumph?"

GAME NOTES

-"You aren't listening, Smasher, I have no patience for any these Game Notes you use to pad out your recaps. The only thing I want to read from you is of my final triumph over the Coburns. Now get to it with no further delay!"

Box Score





Game 4

Don May posted:


BANGERS END SERIES WITH NINTH-INNING RALLY

Fort Sumner- It had to end sometime.

With the Coburns leading 3-2 going into the top of the ninth inning, Marauder had seen enough, and took the field himself, carrying with him a thick tome, a covered dish and beckoning reserve first baseman John Olerud to follow him. He handed the dish to Olerud and began addressing the crowd, "For nearly four games, you all have bored me greatly. But now, with the Coburns on the verge of tying the series, I am almost interested. Almost. But, compelling drama or not, I have no real desire to play a Game 5 against the Coburns, not even if it were to take place in Fukuoka, and so I have made alternate arrangements." Marauder opened the book, and began scanning the pages, "Now, the problem with you religious types is that, for the most part, you see this all-pervasive will of god controlling your fate whether through action of passivity, and that the future of the world has already been determined, and is written down in some holy book. Ah, here it is, the 'Final Revelation of James Coburn'. According to this, the final downfall of the Coburns will take place 'when a jay shall eat a heart.' So be it. Mr. Olerud, you were a member of the Toronto Blue Jays, were you not?"

"I was, Marauder," John Olerud said in his typical, wooden delivery.

"Splendid, well, then, feast on....this!" Marauder uncovered the dish, revealing a well-cooked piece of meat on a plate. Olerud, being dutiful, began eating the mysterious food.

"Hey, this is pretty good...is this human heart? Because I've heard that eating human heart can give you extra courage." Olerud seemed completely unfazed by the thought of eating the heart of another person, even though Kevin Millar had not been seen in days.

Marauder shook his head out of irritation, "No, it's not a human heart. In fact, it's venison, I'm reasonably sure that substituting 'hart' for 'heart' is just clever enough to work. Well, enough of that, I have now...probably...triggered the doom of the Coburns, and there is nothing any of you can do to stop the Bangers now. Begin the inning!"

Marauder and Olerud, still enjoying his meal, left the field, and the top of the ninth began with a line out by Frank Thomas. But then Ted Williams managed to hit a ball into the deepest part of left field, forcing Chuck Klein to chase it down. Unfortunately, once he did get there, Klein tripped, and fell down on his face, allowing Ted Williams to score on the play, which was officially ruled a triple and an error, and tying the game at 3 apiece. Martinez and Snider then followed that with back-to-back doubles, giving the Bangers a 4-3 lead, and things just got even more grim for the Coburns from there, as the Bangers scored two more runs, giving themselves a 6-3 lead that turned out to be the final score.

And, with that, the Bangers will once again move on to the Dynamo League Championship Series to face either the Losers or Tornados while the Coburns will enter the offseason with more questions than answers, mostly having to do with how Chuck Klein was able to misplay the Williams hit that badly. Warm Sarsaparilla spoke with reporters very briefly after the game, saying only that, "The Coburns will return, and we will have vengeance. By Coburn's will, I swear it!"

Box Score





Updated Playoff Bracket

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