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SNOG part 1: 9-11 was an AIDS-was-given-to-Africans-Intentionally Inside Job Alright. Here 'tis. I tried to think of names to call this guy. I'm really not sure what works best, though, so I'm just going to call him Snog von Buttschlammer (hereafter referred to as Snog). Snog was a 6-foot-something bald dude with a goatee, a beer gut, and a chip on his shoulder that either shrank or blew up depending on his mood. Snog was this dude that both I, and my then-fiance (whom I shall refer to Then Fiance McNowHusband), used to sit outside in the smoking section with on our workbreaks. He didn't present as totally hosed, initially, was capable of carrying on a conversation, and looked as bemused as I did when my 'I HAVE THINGS TO SAY AND WOULD LIKE TO SAY THEM IS THAT ALRIGHT WAIT DON'T ANSWER I'M SAYING THEM ANYWAY' coworker came downstairs to inform us-- one more time-- that she had things to say. I think we bonded because of that, at least loosely. She'd say a lot of crazy things, then wander upstairs, at which point he and I would look at each other, I'd shut off the mp3 player I had blasting in my ears to blot out yet another story about her deplorable child-care techniques/way-too-specific sex-life anecdotes, and there would be some kind of random conversation going. Then Fiance went a little more in-depth with this. The thing is, Then Fiance adores crazy people, especially irrational conspiracy theorists, in that he really likes listening to them. So when Snog busted out a copy of Holy Blood, Holy Grail (off of which the Dan Brown novel is based) and went on about how much of it is 'frighteningly true to fact,' Then Fiance was hooked. He didn't believe half the poo poo that was being spewed out by both the book and Snog in waves, he just thought it was intriguing, ie: how the hell does someone believe this poo poo. So, he and I are outside on one of our rare corresponding cigarette breaks after about a month of this, and he tells me about all the things Snog has to say. I have to admit, I was pretty incredulous. Not just because of the Knights Templar crap, but because this guy honestly thinks that the moon landing was a fake, and that every conspiracy theory should be believed, because believing anything else was ignorant. He mentioned constantly (to pretty much god and everyone) that voting on anything, ever, was just buying into a corrupt system that was 'playing into the interests' of the corporatocracy, and allow us to believe that we had some kind of agency (we voted in a poo poo-awful governor/senator as of that year, it should be noted-- largely because people in his age bracket didn't show up, but I digress). On some things, we agreed. I do think there's something to be said for voting being less than honest at times, but, I still do it. So, needless to say, on most matters, we didn't agree at all. This became even more apparent when we decided, why not, we'll ask Snog to come hang out. I know this seems like a horrible mistake. At the time, it really seemed harmless. And at this point, it should be pointed out that, due to the nature of our jobs, as well as our schedules, we were pretty much shut-ins. Hanging out with people became a rare thing because of our schedules. Seeing as I was intrigued by this Snog guy, at least in terms of how ridiculous he sounded, we invited him over. This was mistake #2. I say #2, because #1 was both Then Fiance and I giving him the time of day, but so far as Then Fiance was concerned, I wanted him to have his own circle of friends, because I had mine, and figured that that was a healthy thing in spite of any reservations I might have personally. The only caveat that was ever necessary was that both circles of friends accepted that we were a couple, and that was pretty much the end of it. This didn't fall under that category, even when I was catching whiffs of crazy (this was not my first rodeo, really), so, why not? We bust out the whiskey that night. We figure we can watch some poo poo, chill out, talk a bit, but then, after a while, we get into a discussion about Serious Topics ... and the moon landing happens to come up. He starts going off about the Mars Pyramids, the fact that aliens routed the moon landing, and a host of other things that left me blinking. Then Fiance ate it up, he thought it was hilarious/awesome/intriguing. Didn't believe it, but I think Snog was convinced that he did, and that I was holding Then Fiance back from the WIDER TRUTHS OF THE UNIVERSE AS WE KNOW IT. I didn't really make much comment on it, because I didn't particularly feel like enraging an overenthusiastic conspiracy theorist so close to my bedtime, but after a few other subsequent hangout times, I did, eventually, engage him in a less-than-toughtful debate. I'll be the first to admit that after several shots of whiskey, I am neither a good arguer, nor am I particularly patient, but, really, half of the things that came spewing out of this guy's mouth were insane. Rampant biotruths, !FACTUAL! assertions that AIDS was manufactured by white people to give to Africans, the moon landing is still fake, the Knights Templar are really the Masons, the Bilderberg group is literally breathing down your neck and looking to rape your unborn babies, the loving sky is falling tomorrow and what are you doing to do about it (the answer is: never vote), and a slew of other things. It was basically a slurry of humanitarian disasters, all trivialized because  Additionally, 9-11 was an inside job, Zeitgeist is a propaganda film made to make people like Snog look bad, and-- and--  I admit, I was starting to get a little tired of this. It was never ending. And then! A new behaviour appeared. I admit, I found it funny at first, but was prepared to intervene if the discomfort became more than just what I affectionately refer to as 'melting off the chair,' but feel free to yell at me for not intervening sooner. It involved Snog slowly leaning closer and closer to where Then Fiance sat, like a storm slowly rolling in over an unsuspecting prairie. He would start with the yawn, the arm extension, and then leeeaaan over, getting steadily closer to Then Fiance as he went. Then Fiance, who, if he has a gay bone in his body, doesn't have it for portly bald men, despises confrontation. So, what did he do? Not entirely used to dealing with this particular situation, he started to lean further off the edge of the couch. Snog moved in a little closer. Then Fiance leaned a little further. Rinse, repeat, x2, until Then Fiance is practically draped over the arm of the couch. If he had the physical capacity to manage it, I am certain he would have slide off the arm, and literally slithered his way to safety, with Snog being completely unaware of his daring escape. I asked Then Fiance about this when Snog finally got the gently caress out (he had an awful habit of sticking around until we said, at least three times over, that we were too tired to deal with him). Then Fiance immediately, without hesitation, said that, if ever Snog was to hang out with us again, he would be sitting on the couch with me, and Snog could be on the other couch. I'll admit, I was hoping to hear 'never hang out with Snog again,' but see above about 'our circles of friends are separate, I'm not going to judge.' More later as I remember it, and confer with Then Fiance about it. Assuming people want to read more about this. It gets -- weird. EDIT: As a note, I don't want to give the idea that 'he's gay  ' was the punchline, which hopefully isn't the case. It's really just the set-up for part two (when I get around to it). The yawn-lean poo poo was completely unsolicited, after Snog was made perfectly aware of the fact that Then Fiance was both a) straight as an arrow, and b) with me. Worth noting that if he was a she I'd be equally amused/offended all at the same time, since it was pretty much an outright declaration of 'ha ha hey woman over there you don't matter' regardless, and TF would've been equally as 'make it stop!!' in that instance.
Old Boot fucked around with this message at 16:47 on Feb 13, 2013 |
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Feb 13, 2013 08:30
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An Old Boot posted:Assuming people want to read more about this. It gets -- weird.  We always want to read more!
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Feb 13, 2013 09:18
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Especially about balding fat conspiracy theorists that have the hots for your husband!
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Feb 13, 2013 13:08
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AuguryOwl posted:Hey uglynoodles. Since you don't have PMs I'll reply here. Yes, I do live in Manchester currently and I do go to Futureworks. It's worked out well, I think -- I'm learning a lot!  I'm never averse to saying hello to fellow weirdoes on the Internet and my boyfriend and I frequent Culcheth quite a bit since that's where he's from. So don't worry, you're not creepy! I'm definitely loving the tales of creepy balding mcfatguy with the hots for your husband, An Old Boot. Keep it coming! I had a terrifying moment yesterday where I could've sworn Denise was walking towards me. As it happened, it was just an unfortunate looking person. Unibrow, giant frizzy hair and all.
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Feb 13, 2013 18:05
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uglynoodles posted:Since you don't have PMs I'll reply here. Oh loving hell, Denise is British? I might live on the same continent as her?? This is the opposite of what I wanted to know about the universe.
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Feb 13, 2013 19:32
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From the earlier stories I thought they were Canadian. From her descriptions either Ontario or Alberta. Both have large weeabo populations but there are enough small towns to fit the isolated feeling that she described. I believe she moved across the pond once life stopped making GBS threads on her.
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Feb 13, 2013 20:57
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uglynoodles posted:Since you don't have PMs I'll reply here. Holy poo poo, I'm originally from Leigh - that's like the next town over from Culcheth. I think my Grandad does his weekly shop there. I'm glad it's worked out well for you at Futureworks: it looked like a really snazzy place when I was looking for higher education places. It was all... shiny :3 Plus there were games consoles in the lounging area, that was a big plus.
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Feb 13, 2013 23:06
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Futureworks... that sounds familiar... Wait... is that the place by the st peters square tram station? Wow small world. Manchester representing   No I don't know why they're wearing sunglasses, the weathers bloody awful at the moment.
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Feb 13, 2013 23:54
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:Futureworks... that sounds familiar... Wait... is that the place by the st peters square tram station? It is! We are representing tonight. Could pretend it's Noel and Liam Gallagher, though I doubt they'd actually high five each other and there'd be more fists involved.
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Feb 14, 2013 01:46
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If only we could sell tickets for that... We'd make a fortune, then we could pay others to experience crazy for us. 
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Feb 14, 2013 02:38
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Excelsiortothemax posted:From the earlier stories I thought they were Canadian. From her descriptions either Ontario or Alberta. Both have large weeabo populations but there are enough small towns to fit the isolated feeling that she described. Canadian, correct, wrong province. More West Coast. All the West Coast. Like the next thing over is Japan West Coast. There are a lot of Manchester goons! This is exciting to my moderate shut-in self. Seriously though, the resemblance towards Denise was so strong I was actually in the process of stopping to ask her just why the gently caress she was in Manchester. I realised at the last second that the layer of grease and sebum wasn't nearly thick enough to be hers, and our paths diverged. Someone out there in my city is unfortunate enough to look just like her.
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Feb 14, 2013 02:53
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You have found her Doupleganger, her terrible crazy will soon be taken over by evil crazy. At least the new one of them might not obsess with Anime so much. Also Manchester goons! 
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Feb 14, 2013 03:29
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Sure is a load of Mancs up in here. Didn't realise uglynoodles was in this neck of the wood either? I think beers and stories of crazy anime poo poo is in order.
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Feb 19, 2013 10:03
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Finally got to the end of this amazing thread! I was a bit disapointed to learn that Denise wasn't actually here in Manchester (why are there so many Manchester goons in this thread?!). That would've just been too awesome... Really, this thread has been incredible, and the people who've shared their stories even more so. Thank you all for sharing, especially uglynoodles who stared this whole gilded mess. Still waiting to see that anime Sai Baba though...
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Feb 19, 2013 16:02
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I'm not actually from Manchester, but the Wirral is close enough! I had an interesting run in of a Sai Baba devotee while waiting for a flight at Heathrow. Not really anime chick territory but it was a still a bit odd. I informed my partner in Malaysia upon arrival and he told me The Unhappiest Rhino has some hilarious stories in this thread about a Sai Baba fan, I have yet to read them all though. Basically I had not slept for 20 hours by the time I arrived at Heathrow, grabbed a coffee and sat at the only seat left in the entire airport. It was next to this elderly Indian woman who I just assumed would either not talk to me or just talk about some pretty easy going mundane topics that wouldn't tax my sleep deprived brain. "I've been here for 2 days" she mumbled at me. I won't deny I am terrible with other accents so it took me a few minutes to sit and think before I figured out what she had told me, I just responded with an "aah" and sipped at my coffee hoping she'd leave it at that and then she pushes a book infront of me. "You should read it" she suggested with a sweet smile. I glanced at it and asked her to give me a few minutes while I relax first, and then she started to explain the book to me. Basically she had returned from visiting relatives and friends in India and the reason why she had been in the airport for 2 days was because her son was too busy to pick her up just yet.  She obtained this book from the author herself - a childhood friend and fellow Sai Baba devotee, the book was about her experiences with Sai Baba and a bunch of other life philosophies and medical nonsense. At first she asked me a few questions about if I knew of this place or that place or if I had ever been to India. I have little knowledge on Indian cultures so I felt pretty bad having to respond with no about everything, but I was more than happy to listen to her stories and information about the culture and history. Then she asked "Do you know Sathya Sai Baba?" again I said no and I awaited her explanation; she tapped on the book. I picked it up and had a little browse but I really couldn't focus, I just pretended to read a bit and claimed it seemed interesting. I asked to be excused for a minute while I grabbed another drink and upon sitting back down I checked my phone to send messages to relatives about my safe arrival at the airport. She then stood up to come behind me and watch what I was doing on my phone, I made the assumption that she must have thought I was reading about Sai Baba so I quickly opened up the wiki page on him so I could appear polite. She started poking at my screen at the pictures and talking about the days when she visited Prashanthi Nilayam and just how wonderful Sai Baba was. That was cool and all, so I put down my phone and listened to more of her stories. She then asked me to get my phone out again for her to add her daughter's number into my phonebook, as apparently she wanted me to meet her one day (oh no). Turns out her daughter travels the UK going to charitable events and such in the name of Sai Baba and that she's opened up a few centres to help spread Sai Baba's teachings, she wanted me to get involved and help. I politely took the number down but like hell am I going to be getting in touch. She tried her best to convince me that it was all quite lovely, they cared for people and studied in medicine and blah blah doing good for humanity but all that kept running through my brain was "CULT CULT CULT CULT". Eventually I read some of the book. It wasn't too crazy or anything but the cultish life surrounding Sai Baba was all a bit creepy. The woman who wrote the book tells a story in one chapter about sleeping in an all women's dorm in a place near where Sai Baba lived, like a commune of some sort? I am not entirely sure of the details. She claims Sai Baba came to her while she was sleeping every night for months, just to see her and bring her messages of what to do in her life. He loved her, and it was implied he made love to her (which is the point I point the book down and left). Other women around her claimed he never physically could have came to see her as he would never have access to an all female dorm. She was adamant he had been with her in the nights though and that he truly loved her. She hadn't married or had children, she spent her entire life in dedication to her one true love - Sai Baba. So yeah not too crazy but just a bit of an interesting experience for me considering another Goon has had run ins with creepier stuff. Also apologies for my dire writing habits, I promise I'll get better one day. 
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Feb 19, 2013 18:20
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So this is sorta related, as I know crazy band fandoms have come up in this thread before, but I just underwent the trauma of discovering that one of the band blogs I follow is administrated by a 40-year-old woman who has written herself an archive of gay torture porn band fanfiction that rivals the Lord of the Rings in sheer wordcount. That led me to discovering she was only part of a group of people that contributed to the gay torture porn bandfiction communities. Why? Why do people do this? Even worse now is remembering all the times she's mentioned meeting the 
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Feb 19, 2013 21:20
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Oh, come on, you gotta tell us what band, now.
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Feb 19, 2013 21:48
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Yeah, I mean if it's Rockbitch it would actually be fitting rather than wierd. Also, I've read a bit about Sai Baba and the movement. Didn't strike me as too strange of a guy, just a guru among many. Lot of charity work, parlour tricks to impress the uneducated, vague rumours of child abuse and not so vague rumours of corruption, talks about love, rubs elbows with the rich and famous (apparently the guy who founded Hard Rock Café is a devotee), thinks he's god, etc. Ya know; same old, same old. But for some reason he's more popular in the West. I'm guessing it's because he downplays the overtly Hindu aspects of this teachings and presents it as something more spiritual, or at least something that can be followed without abandoning one's current religion. Also, his followers seem to be far above average in crazy. The seeing him in dreams/being told things in dreams theme seems common. VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV There is surprisingly little Judas Priest slash. But so much Alexi/Janne... I mean like almost all Children of Bodom slash is those two. God I'm not gonna be able to hear those keyboard solos again without thinking about this... Other notable pairings: Freddy Mercury/pretty much everyone (I can see this actually happening) Hetfield/Ulrich (good luck looking at Metallica song credits without thinking about this) Halford/Dickinson (no suprise there, they're buds IRL) Nick Cave/Henry Rollins (ok that would be pretty hot and I'm not even gay) VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV EDIT: I have now read one of the Metallica/Nicelback stories. It's... sort of like solving a Lemarchand's box and finding what awaits inside. Only more awkward. And a lot less arousing. sad salad tosser fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Feb 21, 2013 |
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Feb 20, 2013 00:15
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Allen Wren posted:Oh, come on, you gotta tell us what band, now. I'll just give you the entire website. The victims are mostly metal/rock bands ranging from the Beatles to Queen to Megadeth to Sonata Arctica. And most of them are marked for sexual content... Most of them are privacy locked and I'm not sure I want to gaze long enough into the abyss to actually sign up here but the summaries are hilarious/horrifying enough. Every so often there's one or two visible to the public though, like both Metallica/Nickelback slashfic crossovers. 
Coulrophobia fucked around with this message at 01:31 on Feb 21, 2013 |
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Feb 21, 2013 01:10
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Ohhhh, noooo. The metal snobs in NMD would tar and feather me for my opinions, but I like Sonata Arctica and don't understand what thought processes would cause deranged people to write Rule 34 poo poo about them. According to their own brief website biographies, the band members all have loving families at home! 
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Feb 21, 2013 01:36
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I haven't regularly listened to them in a while, but I've seen them live and think they're super adorable. I don't know what would possess supposed "fans" of theirs to write them into such uncomfortable, often horrible situations. And when I say horrible, I mean the sheer number of fics about them that are flagged "non-con" 
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Feb 21, 2013 01:49
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TunaSpleen posted:Ohhhh, noooo. The metal snobs in NMD would tar and feather me for my opinions, but I like Sonata Arctica and don't understand what thought processes would cause deranged people to write Rule 34 poo poo about them. According to their own brief website biographies, the band members all have loving families at home! Haven't you ever seen Brokeback Mountain? What happens on the road, stays on the road
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Feb 21, 2013 05:20
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It reminds me of a tumblr I followed a little while where this girl was obsessed with Tom Hiddleston and her little sycophants fed her obsession re-enforcing the fact that this man she'd never met was indeed her perfect soulmate. Like they'd write little fan fics of her and him and how perfect they'd be together. Yerksh. In the end she creeper me out way too much when she started describing instances where she'd break down bawling in the middle of classes and people would wonder if there was a death in the family. She at least managed to not be a new Loki faux occultist tho.
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Feb 21, 2013 16:01
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I have stories! There's no anime, only horror. Like a lot of morbid high school kids, I loved horror movies. Still do, in fact. At the time, I was just starting to watch the Hellraiser series, and was thirteen years old. I was talking about the first movie with a friend, and I notice one of the sixth form students sitting at the table with us. Tall, skinny, reeked of sweat, greasy blond hair in a ponytail. He dressed in black, had a full length coat on at all times, and had attached those little chains to every bit of his clothing that he could. I'm not comfortable with strangers. This one reaches over to me, and grabs my wrist to get my attention. "I love Hellraiser." Eyes wide, strong grip, and I'm about two seconds away from flailing and shrieking. Lunch break ends, mercifully, and my friend and I practically run out of there, with him promising me that he'll wait for me after my classes have ended. Which he does. I walked home alone at this point, and my house was 45 minutes away. He walked the route with me, talking all about himself. Caleb was a horror fan too, and had been looking for a real life person to share the interest with for a while. His favourite movies all matched up with mine, he was a writer and an artist, and he was single. He liked blonde girls, who were short and had tits. Which was pretty much me. He left me at my garden gate, offering 'mindblowing' oral if I brought him inside. I declined. I may have been far too nice to tell him to gently caress off on the walk home, but I had enough spine to refuse his generous offer. I ran into my house, locked the door, put the bolt across, and didn't stop shaking for about half an hour. Later, he would: - reveal that he had left his previous town due to murders - show me his slasher movie killer costume, and discuss his plans to murder the sluts in his classes - claim to be a cenobite - bring me teeth as a gift - briefly decide that he was transsexual - write stories and draw pictures about me being raped and tortured by various horror movie villains. Amongst other incidences. I have a couple years of stories about Caleb, and honestly wish I'd said something about him that first day we met.
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Feb 22, 2013 02:07
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monsteroftheweek posted:discuss his plans to murder the sluts in his classes uh this isn't "lol crazy anime nerd" territory it's "tell the authorities" territory
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Feb 22, 2013 02:16
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monsteroftheweek posted:I have Jesus are you alright? I know this happened a while ago but that sort of thing can gently caress with a young lady a fair amount. Especially having rape fanfiction written about them. Sixth form would be... 16-18 range? Yeah so this guy isn't creepy as gently caress, he's also probably a paedophile. You're not still in contact with him are you?
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Feb 22, 2013 02:40
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Earwicker posted:uh this isn't "lol crazy anime nerd" territory it's "tell the authorities" territory To be honest, I still don't believe he ever intended to kill anybody. I am certain that he talked a load of poo poo to look 'mysterious' and intimidating. Even so, I brought the issue up with his form tutor, and he was removed from the classes he shared with the girls he had mentioned to me, and from what I gather from what Caleb said, there was a meeting with their parents. I think even if he had been serious about it, the fact that one of the girls had a big and scary looking dad put him off of the idea. Dude would have snapped Caleb like a twig. JohnOfOrdo3 posted:Jesus are you alright? I know this happened a while ago but that sort of thing can gently caress with a young lady a fair amount. Especially having rape fanfiction written about them. Sixth form would be... 16-18 range? Yeah so this guy isn't creepy as gently caress, he's also probably a paedophile. You're not still in contact with him are you? Totally fine, no need to worry! I don't think the stories or pictures have damaged me, other than ruining a few movies for me. I am not in contact with him any more, I've no idea where he is, but last I heard, he had moved away and was seeking mental health services. This was five years ago, though.
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Feb 22, 2013 02:52
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TEETH?! Fucker brought you teeth as a gift? I don't know where to go with that one. Were they human teeth? Animal? What does one say upon receiving such a gift? 
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Feb 22, 2013 03:06
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lt_kennedy posted:It reminds me of a tumblr I followed a little while where this girl was obsessed with Tom Hiddleston and her little sycophants fed her obsession re-enforcing the fact that this man she'd never met was indeed her perfect soulmate. Like they'd write little fan fics of her and him and how perfect they'd be together. Yerksh. In the end she creeper me out way too much when she started describing instances where she'd break down bawling in the middle of classes and people would wonder if there was a death in the family. She at least managed to not be a new Loki faux occultist tho. Gotta love all this new-age Loki-worship stuff that magically sprang up when the Avengers was released, and how all of them swear from hell to high water that they were married to Loki before it was cool  monsteroftheweek posted:horrible things  Never stop posting
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Feb 22, 2013 04:54
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If they're shark teeth, you make them into a kickass necklace. Obviously.
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Feb 22, 2013 04:55
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This is more of a general question but it is something I have noticed. But, can I get some insight into why certain people go certain ways? I mean, look at Nazifurs, look at furry Christians, look at "totally straight dudes who love horror and gently caress other dudes while watching horror movies". What is it that those people always exist? What is wrong with them?
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Feb 22, 2013 04:58
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Shbobdb posted:This is more of a general question but it is something I have noticed. But, can I get some insight into why certain people go certain ways? I mean, look at Nazifurs, look at furry Christians, look at "totally straight dudes who love horror and gently caress other dudes while watching horror movies". What is it that those people always exist? What is wrong with them? Jerks and mental illness have been around since the dawn of human. Sometimes simultaneously.
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Feb 22, 2013 05:52
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monsteroftheweek posted:Later, he would: I know the rule of thumb here is but... for the first time in this thread, I think I actually don't want to read these stories.
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Feb 22, 2013 06:09
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What the hell is up with weirdos named Caleb? I feel like I've seen that name in multiple stories in this thread. And while it's still fresh, Sonata Arctica even has a song called "Caleb" about a weird child from an abusive household, and several more songs throughout later albums detail his exploits as a man stalking women and possibly murdering some until he sacrificially poisons himself Romeo-style in a song fittingly titled "Juliet". (Thus ends my derail on Finnish metal bands.)
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Feb 22, 2013 08:55
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I'm fairly certain Caleb is a character from the Shakespeare play "The Tempest" where he was a barely human servant of a wizard who ruled the island the play takes place on. After a little research the name also seem to be biblical in nature appearing in both the Quran and the Bible. So we got three options. One, that people are using it as a proxy name to hide the persons real identity. Two, the person took it themselves to seem cool/mysterious/creepy as gently caress. Three, their parents named them that, reasoning no one else would have the name.
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Feb 22, 2013 12:09
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:I'm fairly certain Caleb is a character from the Shakespeare play "The Tempest" where he was a barely human servant of a wizard who ruled the island the play takes place on. After a little research the name also seem to be biblical in nature appearing in both the Quran and the Bible. Wrong. Prospero's servant was called Caliban.
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Feb 22, 2013 12:14
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Corridor posted:I know the rule of thumb here is
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Feb 22, 2013 12:48
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:So we got three options. One, that people are using it as a proxy name to hide the persons real identity. Shockingly, Caleb was not Caleb's real name. I can't actually remember what Caleb's real name was. It was very ordinary and a popular name for men my age. James, Christopher, Daniel, something along those lines. He prefered Caleb, and that was what we called him. I'm pretty sure you're right on the money about why he chose that, too. And since the thing with the teeth seems to be popular, let's start there. Caleb Brings Monster a Gift of Teeth This was a few months after I'd awkwardly accepted that we were 'friends', and that he wasn't as dangerous as he liked people to think. He waited for me until school ended, as usual. By this time, he had taken to walking me home each day, despite the fact that he lived in the opposite direction to me. He waited for me at the school gates, and presented me with a velvet-like bag. "I got these for you. I knew you'd appreciate the... work it took to acquire them." He left a dramatic pause in for effect, and did that 'eyes shift to the side' thing from movies/cartoons that real people don't actually do. Any time he was trying to look shifty or dangerous, it was like a scene from a movie. When he was actually acting shifty, it was another story, so it was pretty easy to tell them apart quite quickly. I open the bag, and yeah, it's teeth. I protest, and try to give them back. He stops me, holds my wrist, and insists that I hold my hand out flat. I refuse. He asks why I'm being so weird about a present. Like a dumbass, not wanting to hurt his feelings, I open my hand up, and he pours them out into my palm. There's about twenty to thirty teeth, no blood, no gore. They're all small, so I assume they're kids' teeth, probably lost naturally, probably his and his sister's. Some parents hold onto teeth, I guess, along with the little lock of hair from baby's first haircut. "Do you like them?" Caleb had this sad sort of hopeful look, and I had no spine, so I said yes, I liked them, and thanked him. I was allowed to put them back in the bag. We carried on walking, and talk about games, music and movies, with him occasionally asking me what I plan to do with these teeth. Throw them the gently caress away wouldn't be an acceptable answer, so I bullshit something about keeping them in a box on my dresser. He seems pleased, and requests that I look at them every day to remind myself of how much he appreciates my friendship. He leaves me at my door, and for a moment stops me from going inside, instead stroking my neck, feeling my pulse for a few seconds, and doing his movie-shifty look. "You always feel so alive, Monster..." At least he liked his girls living? I gave an awkward goodbye, and did my usual door locking. As soon as I get inside, the teeth go in the bin, and I take a thousand showers to remove the feeling of a handful of little teeth sitting in the palm of my hand.
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Feb 22, 2013 13:50
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monsteroftheweek posted:"I got these for you. I knew you'd appreciate the... work it took to acquire them."  Of all the "nice things I can do for a woman that will guarantee me sex (in my mind)", how could he possibly go for an offering of teeth? Did you mention teeth at some previous point? Did he have a fascination with teeth that you did not mention? Why teeth?
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Feb 22, 2013 14:08
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Vagabundo posted:Wrong. Prospero's servant was called Caliban. Oh god he was and all. My mistake, thanks for pointing that out  monsteroftheweek posted:Caleb Brings Monster a Gift of Teeth Well if that's just a little gift out of no where I'd hate to see what he gives you for your birthday. I'm thinking a goat skull. Or the knife he used to kill his first victim (read: Only friend he had before you). Rexides posted:
I think at this point it might be less "Why teeth?" and more "Why not teeth?" Remember he's trying to seem all  cool, dark and mysterious so of course he's going to get her something batshit insane. That's what cool people do right? Plus maybe it was more like "poo poo I gotta get rid of these baby teeth... I know, I'll give them to the shy girl I like. Then she'll think I'm great! I'll be all romantic too and give them to her in a velvet bag so it seems more like her own personal horror film! She likes horror! How could she not want human teeth"
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Feb 22, 2013 14:47
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