post the most worthless kickstarters and greatest investor rewards you got

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > post the most worthless kickstarters and greatest investor rewards you got

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theadder: Dec 30, 2011

Al! posted:

im glad i drifted into somethingawful and not somewhere truly terrible like neogaf

what is neogaf

# ? Mar 1, 2013 00:17

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# ? May 9, 2024 06:49

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

theadder posted:

what is neogaf

it's like a super turbosperg version of the games forum

# ? Mar 1, 2013 00:22

Heresiarch: Oct 6, 2005; Literature is not exhaustible, for the sufficient and simple reason that no single book is. A book is not an isolated being: it is a relationship, an axis of innumerable relationships.

in an alternate universe all of you people ended up on gaia online instead and spend all your money on anime pixel doll clothes instead of custom titles and new smilies

# ? Mar 1, 2013 00:44

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

no lie the first forum that i joined was full of furries and creepy obnoxious fangirls, all of them were also big into deviantart and livejournal. i was an impressionable childe at the time and for about a year i actually thought that that was how The Internet normally was. it was a skewed-as-hell reference point but i eventually woke up to how stupid and awful that whole scene was and left after having spent about a year as One of Them.

basically when i see a worthless site with terrible users part of me always goes "there but for the grace of god go i."

# ? Mar 1, 2013 00:59

JawnV6: Jul 4, 2004; So hot ...

i tried slashdot then ars then here

# ? Mar 1, 2013 01:05

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

i was a mod on an aphex twin fan board in the late 90s/early 00s. so much drama, it was nuts.

also i got online married on a chatsite i found by looking over the shoulder of some nerd at the library in 94 :awesome:

# ? Mar 1, 2013 01:09

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

JawnV6 posted:

i tried slashdong then arse elektronika then here

# ? Mar 1, 2013 01:24

theadder: Dec 30, 2011

qirex posted:

it's like a super turbosperg version of the games forum

sounds awful

# ? Mar 1, 2013 02:26

Rufus Ping: Dec 27, 2006; I'm a Friend of Rodney Nano

i started off on 4chan then moved here. not sure what the future holds, probably 9gag

# ? Mar 1, 2013 03:29

Dans Macabre: Apr 24, 2004

Milkie Galore posted:

i started off on 4chan then moved here. not sure what the future holds, probably 9gag

i did the opposite move

# ? Mar 1, 2013 03:39

Nintendo Kid: Aug 4, 2011; by Smythe

Milkie Galore posted:

i started off on 4chan then moved here. not sure what the future holds, probably 9gag

uh the future is death. duh

# ? Mar 1, 2013 03:40

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

i'm two pages late but felt the need to emptyquote heresiarch because he was fuckin-a right about drat near everything so just pretend i emptyquoted heresiarch itp

# ? Mar 1, 2013 03:58

Yodzilla: Apr 29, 2005; Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

from that awful ronpaul kickstarter i found this article which seems p good http://www.inc.com/eric-markowitz/when-kickstarter-investors-want-their-money-back.html

# ? Mar 1, 2013 04:23

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

do these people seriously look like that IRL

# ? Mar 1, 2013 09:32

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

"$211,299 pledged of $30,000 goal"

# ? Mar 1, 2013 13:24

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

SHAM BAM BAMINA posted:

"$211,299 pledged of $30,000 goal"

new project. write a lovely webcomic starring pretty girl who makes lovely nerd references (cthulu zombies dr who etc.) outsource the art to Korea for literally dollars a page and turn around and publish on Kickstarter for thousands

# ? Mar 1, 2013 13:39

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

oh dear lord the stretch goals

# ? Mar 1, 2013 14:36

Cybernetic Vermin: Apr 18, 2005

Al! posted:

new project. write a lovely webcomic starring pretty girl who makes lovely nerd references (cthulu zombies dr who etc.) outsource the art to Korea for literally dollars a page and turn around and publish on Kickstarter for thousands

i unironically think this would work great as long as you are a reasonably competent writer

# ? Mar 1, 2013 14:38

Yodzilla: Apr 29, 2005; Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

SHAM BAM BAMINA posted:

"$211,299 pledged of $30,000 goal"

how the gently caress does a webcomic author who never actually produces any content have such a following??

# ? Mar 1, 2013 15:11

zetamind2000: Nov 6, 2007; ~~I'm an alien.~~

Yodzilla posted:

how the gently caress does a webcomic author who never actually produces any content have such a following??

I'd make an Achewood joke but the animated series actually has a greater than zero chance of happening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_97q16TFxk

zetamind2000 fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Mar 1, 2013

# ? Mar 1, 2013 15:20

Fabricated: Apr 9, 2007; Living the Dream

theadder posted:

sounds awful

it's pretty terrible, and a lot of devs post there for some loving reason when they really, really shouldn't

# ? Mar 1, 2013 15:21

dragon enthusiast: Jan 1, 2010

Fabricated posted:

it's pretty terrible, and a lot of devs post there for some loving reason when they really, really shouldn't

guilty pleasure

# ? Mar 1, 2013 17:43

dick traceroute: Feb 24, 2010; Open the pod bay doors, Hal.; Grimey Drawer

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/345839/

# ? Mar 2, 2013 10:37

Nelson MandEULA: Feb 27, 2011; "...the biggest shitbag
I have ever met."

Thumbquat posted:

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/345839/

how the hell is he planning to live on �10,000 for a whole year??

# ? Mar 2, 2013 13:13

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

WorkingPeer posted:

how the hell is he planning to live on �10,000 for a whole year??

move to mexico

# ? Mar 2, 2013 14:11

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

there's got to be some third worldy abandoned coal mine towns in the north that you can live on that little right?

# ? Mar 2, 2013 14:14

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

Yodzilla posted:

from that awful ronpaul kickstarter i found this article which seems p good http://www.inc.com/eric-markowitz/when-kickstarter-investors-want-their-money-back.html

owned. looking forward to more kickstarter lawsuits

# ? Mar 2, 2013 16:06

Squinty Applebottom: Jan 1, 2013

Al! posted:

there's got to be some third worldy abandoned coal mine towns in the north that you can live on that little right?

live in centralia. the internet is terrible here.

# ? Mar 2, 2013 16:10

dick traceroute: Feb 24, 2010; Open the pod bay doors, Hal.; Grimey Drawer

I lived in London for 3 years on about ~6k a year. Couldn't afford to drink or use public transport. Was a pretty good time, anyway.

# ? Mar 2, 2013 16:13

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

lol he took took his name off the kickstarter page because it was the first thing that came up when employers googled his name http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/831303939/hanfree-ipad-accessory-use-the-ipad-hands-free

# ? Mar 2, 2013 16:16

101: Oct 15, 2012; Vault Dweller

Werthog 95 posted:

lol he took took his name off the kickstarter page because it was the first thing that came up when employers googled his name http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/831303939/hanfree-ipad-accessory-use-the-ipad-hands-free

Did he steal $35,004?

# ? Mar 2, 2013 16:28

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

yes and ignored a $200 lawsuit until they defaulted on him

oh and then posted this apparently

quote:

Dear Kickstarter backers,

Everyone is wondering one thing. What has happened to Seth? and will Hanfree ever become a real product? At this point I am saddened to say that the answer is no. I started designing an iPad stand 12 months ago, I was so confident in the idea, I wanted to align myself with this exciting new piece of technology, I saw a need in the marketplace and had a strong desire to create a new user experience. I risked everything to launch this idea, I even sold my beloved VW golf, and a Breitling I had inherited from my father to get this idea off the ground. I put my heart into this project, we hired videographers and marketed the idea like crazy, reaching thousands of people through blogs and television. We hit the streets of San Francisco and New York handing out hundreds of flyers on the day the iPad 2 was released. I had no idea of the challenges we faced, just the blinding zeal of a first time entrepreneur. My attitude was so optimistic I felt as though we could figure out any challenge, and solve any design problems. So what went wrong? How could we have failed to deliver when it seemed like we had plenty of funding, a smart design team, and a functioning prototype. I am embarrassed to admit this failure completely falls on my shoulders.

There are multiple reasons; This project was way beyond the scope of what my experience and my teams experience could execute on... With the main issues being the technical engineering complexities and just too many parts.... The Glif (http://kck.st/bb6Tuu) was one piece of rubber and metal nut, that was genius. Our prototype of Hanfree seemed simple at first, it consisted of a base, bent bar, socket joint and case. I oversimplified it in my head and with the design of our initial prototype. The final design contained 11 distinct components, and only 3 standard parts (the bolts). Ultimately designing each of these components took much longer than anyone on the team had anticipated. Another shortsighted mistake was due to my gross underestimation of the real cost to bring an idea to market and mass produce a product. If we reflect upon that for a moment here are some numbers for a bare minimum 1000 unit order to give you a better understanding of the scope of our project. After reading this keep in mind that in the manufacturing world, no one even wants to talk to you, unless
your order is for 5000 pieces.

Kickstarter & Amazon payments fee 3,500
Packaging 4,000 (Thats for XXL pizza boxes and bubble wrap, seriously.)
Stainless Steel bar components 12,000
Screws and hardware 1,700
Die cut metal base 8,000
Plastic tooling cost for ball and socket and pivot point 35,000
iPad cases 3,500
Assembly and sonic welding 4,000
Avg USA and International shipping 17,000
Total 88,700

So we came to this sizable total, and Juan and I continued to blaze forward thinking we would split the difference we needed to make up with personal and family loans. I was sure that with the amount of interest we generated from the project it would be easy to get an investor on board, especially if we could have the product before Christmas. As the weeks passed we continued to miss our own design deadlines. We kept on saying, Ok we have to order this ball and socket joint in two weeks from the plastics manufactures and we would get the 3d printed prototype parts and be devastated to find they still weren't working correctly. The iPad would sag, the tilt angle would be to shallow, the part would flex and wiggle, the parts would be too thick and take to long to cool for manufacturing... The complications went on and on and on. We would resolve one issue that would in turn create another. The parts continued to need adjustments and the manufacturing estimates continued to increase, as the parts became more and more complex. Then our September 1st goal to order our plastic parts from the manufactures past, and it started to feel like we were on a giant sinking sailboat bailing water with a tiny pale. The daunting reality of this project being too expensive for us to finance personally and the potential of this project failing started to creep into our minds. Just like a floundering tech startup, the moral of the team sunk like a submarine to the bottom of the ocean. The individual team members level of commitment to the project clearly hit an ultimate low. I was criticized that I acted completely different when I received the funding, and I admit that was partially true, because my friends in some sense became my employees, rather than my partners. I made the mistake of paying one member and not another, without openly discussing it among us and this eroded our trust, started to break down our communications, and ultimately dissolved our ability to function as a powerful team. I can assure you my intentions were 100% directed to solving the issues in the design and moving the project forward, though good intentions are not enough on their own, it takes good business strategy, and a rock solid plan and better leadership than I could offer.

Then about seven weeks ago came the final blow, the internal issues mainly around who was getting paid and who was volunteering their time, the contracts between team members and the percentage of ownership each of us were entitled to within the company started to erupt like a volcano. I really wanted to help out my friends, and I was trying my best to allocate money to them fairly while at the same time tightening the reign on the quickly dissipating kickstarter funding. The contract negotiations were drawn out and sadly completely froze further development of Hanfree. Unfortunately they ultimately broke the team apart and damaged our personal friendships. I was willing to share the profits of future sales but certain members of the team wanted considerable chunks of equity in the company. I wasn�t in a place to give away equity because I was in the middle of negotiations with foreign investors who would assumably take a large stake of equity because they would essentially be swooping in to save the project and fronting the much needed capital. I know it sounds like a movie, and totally preposterous, because we didn�t even have a real product yet, but its all true... and after six weeks of agonizing frustration and zero progress, the damage was done and our team parted ways. I want to quickly admit that this was ultimately all my fault. I kept thinking to myself it was shortsighted of me to launch an idea rather than a fully resolved design, I shouldn�t have paid my friends, it was my lack in experience, leadership, or project management, I should have hired a professional engineer; but I was charging forward with this idea; that this experience would benefit us all and we would share this amazing process and gain the knowledge of taking an �idea� to a fully realized mass produced product. I had been struggling with all of these issues and the weight of failing on all my backers began to press down upon my shoulders and I felt like I was slipping into a mild depression. I started to do Yoga, twenty eight days of consecutive classes and a short visit to see my family restored my attitude and helped me glean perspective from the project as a whole. I didn�t know whether or not I wanted to disclose all of the details to my bakers because it is very personal and sounds like a ridiculous soap opera. But I feel like I owe it to you, this is Kickstarter and you were generous enough to support me and my idea.

So where are we at today? Well now that the dust has settled from our breakup, the team has made some sort of amens, and acknowledgment of our personal failures. I need to figure out some sort of repayment plan, though a considerable portion of our kickstarter money has been spent on engineers, my design team, lawyer fees and prototyping. I have a feeling that the biggest question my backers will ask is how much is left, and I�ll be be completely forthright, not much...

I spent the last year of my life on this project, I am not going to give up just yet and will continue to pitch Hanfree to larger iPad case companies, distributors or angle investors, though only time will tell how much Hanfree is worth. Last month I was in negotiations with a Taiwanese distribution company though it fell through. I think they needed to see the stand in person, though it�s a little to valuable to just mail over to them and who says they wouldn�t just copy the design if I did. If I successfully close a deal, I would immediately refund all of my backers in full, and be happy just to have total closure on the project, at this point in time I am not interested in profiting any from it�s sale.

The lessons I have learned from this project, will help me forever in the future as I embark on producing new designs. I have meet so many incredible people, received invaluable advice from renowned designers, entrepreneurs, inventors and business people. There are several things that I will always do in the future. Having the contracts signed, with crystal clear disclosure of what everyone is receiving for their efforts and contributions, within my team before starting a project is paramount. I will do substantive research on the manufacturing side and develop manufacturing relationships prior to publicly launching a project. I will do a thorough cost analysis and set a realistic target budget. Moreover, I will absolutely have a highly skilled business person on the team to head the project management and oversee the logistics and complexities of manufacturing and distribution.

Finally, I want to personally apologize to you all. For many of you I meet in person, and I am sure you supported me in part due to my zeal and passion for the iPad and the concept of Hanfree. I really thought we had developed something that could be incredible fun to use and even help people. I also need to apologize here for not having updated more frequently and know that has been a severe weakness in my overall kickstarter project. I know that many of you will be very unhappy with this news, and I expect a wave negative comments, though what I really need is everyone to take a moment for this to sink in and send me a constructive message as far as your feelings about the project ending, partial repayment, and any other thoughts, criticisms or feedback. This way I can grasp the situation as a whole and discuss my closure strategy with my lawyer. After digesting all of this I will be able to respond to you individually and move on in my life to design simpler and more meaningful products that positively contribute to the world.

My most sincere apologies,

Seth Quest

in the end nobody got their money back because he declared bankruptcy

# ? Mar 2, 2013 16:36

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Werthog 95 posted:

yes and ignored a $200 lawsuit until they defaulted on him

oh and then posted this apparently

in the end nobody got their money back because he declared bankruptcy

lol at spending 4 bucks a unit on pizza boxes and bubble wrap. :wtc:

also selling his dad's watch? goddamn.

# ? Mar 2, 2013 16:49

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

it's cool though. he's doing yoga now.

# ? Mar 2, 2013 16:51

Sparta: Aug 14, 2003; the other white meat

Dr. Honked posted:

lolooolololololol *fartz*

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1339254269/ron-paul-road-to-revolution/posts

i wonder how many of the people who got up in arms over the feminist video game documentary being a month late are backers of this

# ? Mar 2, 2013 18:53

Ian McLean: Sep 9, 2012; statpedia.org
Post Stats on Anything

Hi Everyone.

I have come to say that wolfram is wonderful. I encourage the usage of this product and clicking on their advertisements just because.

Here is a link to charge google to wolfram alpha: http://www.wolframalpha.com/extensions/chrome-extension.html

Install Python 3.2.3, open "Idle", copy and paste code with link to run maybe charging google $100,000 per hour. The price tag is limitless since google is the only thing going to this link spot:

'''Make sure after clicking "New Window" in Python 3.2.3 to save it as a .py file''''
'''Pound f5 and BAM! internet explosion'''''

import os
import time
import threading
import webbrowser

def close_chrome():
'''closes chrome after running for 25 seconds. Makes an external call to
windows opporating system, by doing a search for all chrome.exe files'''
while 1:
os.system('taskkill /fi "imagename eq chrome.exe" /f')
time.sleep(25)

def charge_google():
'''Takes a link through the advertising google click portal to send currency from google to wolfram alpha
Loops through printing out 40 webbrowser click portal links every 10 seconds.
These parameters can be adjusted depending on how fast your computer is
Running python shell in safemode + network on windows it is some optimization'''

threading.Timer(10.0, charge_google).start()
for i in range(1,40):
webbrowser.open_new('http://www.wolframalpha.com/extensions/chrome-extension.html')
return charge_google

'''Program End'''

Installation of python, then search for IDLE on the computer and TEST THE POWER OF YOUR COMPUTER AND THESE SERVERS!!!!!!

The spacing for this program never appear right on this forum, so here is on my public google plus account if anyone needs it:

https://plus.google.com/108898927232828320426/posts

<3

# ? Mar 2, 2013 21:26

Dr. Honked: Jan 9, 2011; eat it you slaaaaaaag

your a wizard ian

# ? Mar 2, 2013 21:29

RoadCrewWorker: Nov 19, 2007; camels aren't so great

Pound f5 and BAM! internet explosion

i love you

# ? Mar 2, 2013 21:36

Sneaks McDevious: Jul 29, 2010; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

still think its kirk or gentle autist

# ? Mar 2, 2013 21:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 06:49

Sweevo: Nov 8, 2007; i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

still think its losethos guy after he remembered to take his meds

# ? Mar 2, 2013 22:05

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > post the most worthless kickstarters and greatest investor rewards you got

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