Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

GQ is denying that it's a fake so it seems like Buzz Bissinger, defender of traditional baseball strategy and journalism, actually does like to let out his inner rock star by wearing lots of very expensive goofy pants. Which: good for him I guess, but also seriously what the hell?

# ? Mar 27, 2013 00:33

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# ? May 20, 2024 23:45

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

The Prisoner posted:

So, uh, combined with Buzz's own usual sense of self-importance and the fact he pierced his nipples and all kinds of stuff I'm going with no.

I haven't been able to unsee that picture of him lounging back in the office chair barefoot, in bikini briefs, and giving the peace sign all day.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 00:33

AsInHowe: Jan 11, 2007; red winged angel

MourningView posted:

GQ is denying that it's a fake so it seems like Buzz Bissinger, defender of traditional baseball strategy and journalism, actually does like to let out his inner rock star by wearing lots of very expensive goofy pants. Which: good for him I guess, but also seriously what the hell?

And go to sex clubs on offshore Asian islands in those pants, to do certain things.

That's the most amazing part of this whole thing, that those stories are getting overlooked. There's so much weirdness to unpack.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 01:21

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Just think: you can play a word association game with your friends that involves using phrases like "pierced nipples", "mental health issues", "addiction problems", "designer clothing", "sexual confusion", and "kinky lovin'" and Dennis Rodman and Buzz Bissinger are both correct answers!

# ? Mar 27, 2013 03:09

Pat Clements: Feb 10, 2008

Crazy Ted posted:

Just think: you can play a word association game with your friends that involves using phrases like "pierced nipples", "mental health issues", "addiction problems", "designer clothing", "sexual confusion", and "kinky lovin'" and Dennis Rodman and Buzz Bissinger are both correct answers!

That's funny, because witness Buzz's last tweet, dated March 19th:

code:

@buzzbissinger 19 Mar
@michaeltillery 
Yo. This is Buzz Bissinger. I need to speak to you about Dennis Rodman asap if possible. 
His style of play. 215-290-5370

Mm. Style of play indeed, Buzz.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 03:15

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

His style of play? Or his "style of play"?

Your ninja edit beat me you son of a bitch.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 03:16

AsInHowe: Jan 11, 2007; red winged angel

This week's Newsweek "cover":

# ? Mar 27, 2013 03:25

uublog: Jul 19, 2012; "World Champions. WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS." - Chase Utley, October 31, 2008; Broad Street, Philadelphia, PA

AsInHowe posted:

This week's Newsweek "cover":

So this whole thing was just "research"?

# ? Mar 27, 2013 03:28

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

AsInHowe posted:

This week's Newsweek "cover":

Game respecting Game

Someone is going to write a fanfic about this.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 03:31

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

Two bros, chilling in leather pants, discussing their piercings

It's all so Sunset Strip

# ? Mar 27, 2013 03:50

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

uublog posted:

So this whole thing was just "research"?

Remember how Pete Townsend looked at a bunch of child porn for "research" into child pornography? The last three years of Buzz Bissinger's life has been an elaborate research project spanning three continents.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 03:52

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

quote:

As a stranger said after admiring my look in a Gucci burgundy jacquard velvet jacket and a Burberry black patent leather trench, "You don't give a gently caress."

quote:

He may have been a teenager, but he ran like a man, none of the gangly flailing that high school kids display when they haven�t quite caught up to their size. I�m not a football coach, but you didn�t have to be a coach to know his greatness.

I cannot reconcile these two writing voices

# ? Mar 27, 2013 05:04

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

I have long operated under the theory that H.G. Bissinger, Friday Night Lights author, and Buzz Bissinger, professional angry crazy person, are two completely different people and I see no reason to stop now.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 05:11

swizz: Oct 10, 2004; I can recall being broke with some friends in Tennessee and deciding to have a party and being able to afford only two-fifths of a $1.75 bourbon called Two Natural, whose label showed dice coming up 5 and 2. Its taste was memorable. The psychological effect was also notable.

After having read that GQ article, I would literally have a higher opinion of Buzz Bissinger if he were addicted to crack

# ? Mar 27, 2013 05:38

The Pussy Boss: Nov 2, 2004

I just don't know how to take the Bissinger piece. I admire his honesty about how he uses clothing to feel sexy and young and alive; that's not a topic you expect too many straight(ish) men to write about, especially sportswriters. Then again, as someone who makes not that much above minimum wage, gently caress that elitist prick; that one jacket cost him more than I make in a year. And he uses addiction terminology to describe his clothes habit, but the article is in GQ, a fashion magazine. Is the average GQ reader going to sympathize with Bissinger's psychological issues, or just go, whoa, I want those bitchin' leather pants? I can't quite take the addiction angle seriously, when he makes jetting to Italy for a private Gucci show sounds like so much fun.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 06:59

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

So the guy who wrote Friday Night Lights is a weirdo?

# ? Mar 27, 2013 07:06

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

davecrazy posted:

So the guy who wrote Friday Night Lights is a weirdo?

No!!!!

# ? Mar 27, 2013 07:07

SporkOfTruth: Sep 1, 2006; this kid walked up to me and was like man schmitty your stache is ghetto and I was like whatever man your 3b look like a dishrag.

he was like damn.

All I can think of is how awkward it is for him to have nipple piercings when his most famous subject was a dude named "Boobie."

I'm a complete child.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 08:17

soggybagel: Aug 6, 2006; The official account of NFL Tackle Phil Loadholt.

Let's talk Football.

The HG Bissinger that I know and care about died right after the book Friday Night Lights was published. This is some stranger. I subscribe to MourningView's newsletter.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 08:35

Harlock: Jan 15, 2006; Tap "A" to drink!!!

It's interesting that Buzz Bissinger would take an interest in Basketball when he wrote that it is hard for white people to get into the game because of the lack of race representation.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 16:34

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

jeffersonlives posted:

You know how the MLB hive mind occasionally jokes about Fangraphs or Dave Cameron ADDING UP THE WARS as the symbol of terrible baseball analysis? Here's a new Dave Cameron Fangraphs article where he literally adds up the fWARs.

You thought that was Dave Cameron adding up the WARs? No, no. This is Dave Cameron adding up the WARs.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 17:19

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

Chilly McFreeze posted:

You thought that was Dave Cameron adding up the WARs? No, no. This is Dave Cameron adding up the WARs.

Huh. I thought that was just shorthand for lazy stats analysis. He literally added up the WARs. Astounding.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 17:50

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Honestly, making preseason W-L predictions is one of the best possible uses of WAR.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 17:55

oldfan: Jul 22, 2007; "Mathewson pitched against Cincinnati yesterday. Another way of putting it is that Cincinnati lost a game of baseball."

The best part of the Dave Cameron add up the WARs series was finding out that he expects the best catchers in the AL this season to be, in order:

1.) Matt Wieters
2.) Alex Avila
3.) Sal Perez
4.) Joe Mauer
5.) Carlos Santana

# ? Mar 27, 2013 17:59

Harlock: Jan 15, 2006; Tap "A" to drink!!!

Carlos Ruiz missing an entire month of the season plus Eric Kratz is going to be the third best catching unit in the league.

Oh, and every team has a good center fielder.

Harlock fucked around with this message at 18:05 on Mar 27, 2013

# ? Mar 27, 2013 18:02

Capt Murphy: Nov 16, 2005

lol at the Astros having 62 wins.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 18:07

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Harlock posted:

Carlos Ruiz missing an entire month of the season plus Eric Kratz is going to be the third best catching unit in the league.

Oh, and every team has a good center fielder.

Andrew McCutchen is a full win better than every other CF, sounds accurate to me. :smugdog:

# ? Mar 27, 2013 18:09

No Safe Word: Feb 26, 2005

Chilly McFreeze posted:

You thought that was Dave Cameron adding up the WARs? No, no. This is Dave Cameron adding up the WARs.

Huh, I was all prepared to be :smugdog:

when the projected wins didn't add up to the right number but they actually do. I'm guessing he normalized it so that they would, since the definition of WAR doesn't really ensure that happening.

# ? Mar 27, 2013 18:30

Benne: Sep 2, 2011; STOP DOING HEROIN

So Tim McCarver confirmed that this will be his last season calling baseball

FOX will somehow manage to find someone even worse to replace him

# ? Mar 28, 2013 01:30

Rousimar Pauladeen: Feb 27, 2007; I hate the mods I hate the mods I hate the mods! I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS! Hey wait a minute why do the mods hate me I'm contributing to the conversation I HATE THE MODS I HATE THE MODS I HA

Benne posted:

So Tim McCarver confirmed that this will be his last season calling baseball

FOX will somehow manage to find someone even worse to replace him

Please be Artie Lange.

# ? Mar 28, 2013 01:32

GoonGPT: May 26, 2006; Posting for a better future, today!

Artie and Norm

# ? Mar 28, 2013 01:33

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Frot Lesnar posted:

Please be Artie Lange.

They're just gonna clone Joe Buck.

# ? Mar 28, 2013 02:53

EmotionlessThug: Feb 14, 2012

nature6pk posted:

Artie and Norm

Norm and anyone

# ? Mar 28, 2013 04:11

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

haljordan posted:

They're just gonna clone Joe Buck.

Alternatively: dig up Jack Buck's coffin and put his skeleton in the press box with Joe. It'll remind Joe Buck every day he's inferior to his father and will always be in his shadow.

V V How about Keith Olbermann?

# ? Mar 28, 2013 05:12

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

Benne posted:

So Tim McCarver confirmed that this will be his last season calling baseball

FOX will somehow manage to find someone even worse to replace him

Glen Beck.

# ? Mar 28, 2013 05:13

BrooklynBruiser: Aug 20, 2006

seiferguy posted:

V V How about Keith Olbermann?

I think Olbermann'd actually be a pretty decent pick - doubt it'd happen, though.

# ? Mar 28, 2013 05:17

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

Just make every Fox game a Dodgers game west of the Rockies and simulcast Vin.

# ? Mar 28, 2013 05:19

Coco13: Jun 6, 2004; My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Have one weekend where it's a Brewers game and see if Uecker actually sticks around the booth for the entire game.

# ? Mar 28, 2013 16:40

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Apparently Buzz Bissinger has checked into and in-patient treatment program for his shopping/nipple piercing addiction.

# ? Mar 28, 2013 18:23

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# ? May 20, 2024 23:45

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

Chilly McFreeze posted:

You thought that was Dave Cameron adding up the WARs? No, no. This is Dave Cameron adding up the WARs.

No goddamn way the Marlins have less than 100 losses this year.

# ? Mar 28, 2013 18:23

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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