Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

Doloen: Dec 18, 2004

Ah, drat you patch. My capital used to have a tech level of 17 18 18 and now it's all 12's. In the year 1350.

Sigh, and I was looking forward to the imminent medieval world war between the HRE/ and Britannia/France/Sicily

On the plus side everybody else in the world got reset too. I think I'll soldier on, only a -20 hit to relations from my demesne size. Until my idiot son inherits.

Doloen fucked around with this message at 07:32 on May 29, 2013

# ? May 29, 2013 07:08

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# ? May 29, 2024 17:01

FriggenJ: Oct 23, 2000

So is there nothing to replace the nation-wide grand tournament for pagans? I haven't had the create a runestone option since I reformed the Norse faith and every generation suffers massive succession crises.

# ? May 29, 2013 07:35

Enrico Dandolo: Aug 6, 2010

UglyBorders.jpg:

# ? May 29, 2013 07:56

Qwo: Sep 27, 2011

Yeah Europe's always a mess in TOG.

# ? May 29, 2013 08:02

Dr. Video Games 0031: Jul 17, 2004

So, how do you do that thing where adventurers and other armies will flock under your banner for free? Certain pagans start with a few free armies for raiding, but I don't know how to get those back after I lose them for whatever reason (whoops, turns out Tyrol is the only irish county that will actually fight back)

# ? May 29, 2013 08:06

KittyEmpress: Dec 30, 2012; Jam Buddies

Myoclonic Jerk posted:

This DLC owns so hard. Can anybody recommend a Viking-appropriate Pandora station, maybe some metal?

You could always make a station seeded with Tyr. They've got some kick rear end music.

I really wish my computer was working so I could buy and play this expansion. I want to be a kickass viking.

# ? May 29, 2013 08:09

NihilVerumNisiMors: Aug 16, 2012

They really are everywhere. :psyduck:

By now the Middelfart ( :psyduck:

) dynasty has converted to the One True Religion that is Islam.

# ? May 29, 2013 08:24

Baxate: Feb 1, 2011

Myoclonic Jerk posted:

This DLC owns so hard. Can anybody recommend a Viking-appropriate Pandora station, maybe some metal?

Amon Amarth is pretty good in my opinion.

# ? May 29, 2013 08:55

Datasmurf: Jan 19, 2009; Carpe Noctem

Quite interesting. I start up as some guy of Rogaland and within a week of starting, I get invaded and owned pretty hard. Both me and my heir died before I even had gotten a wife.

On my second start, I lasted a month before some Irish guy came across the ocean and raped Norway.

Then it was 2 AM and I had to get up for work in 6 hours, so I decided to call it for the night and try again today. Can't wait, though!

# ? May 29, 2013 08:58

theDOWmustflow: Mar 24, 2009; lmao pwnd gg~

Dr. Video Games 0031 posted:

So, how do you do that thing where adventurers and other armies will flock under your banner for free? Certain pagans start with a few free armies for raiding, but I don't know how to get those back after I lose them for whatever reason (whoops, turns out Tyrol is the only irish county that will actually fight back)

Go to the diplomatic screen for head of state of the country you wish to invade. There should be a plan invasion or some such option available. I think you have to be under a certain size for the option to become available though I'm not entirely sure what the other pre-reqs are.

# ? May 29, 2013 09:04

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

It looks like the attrition benefit that pagans get isn't working properly, in their favor. Like, the penalty is supposed to disappear for invaders once you get to land organization 4 or better, but I'm at land organization 5 in my capital and pagan lands still can only support ~1000 troops.

# ? May 29, 2013 09:20

Chickpea Roar: Jan 11, 2006; Merdre!

FriggenJ posted:

So is there nothing to replace the nation-wide grand tournament for pagans? I haven't had the create a runestone option since I reformed the Norse faith and every generation suffers massive succession crises.

Norse pagans only have blots, runestones, and grand hunts.
Here's what you need for the runestone decision to pop up:

code:

potential = {
			has_dlc = "The Old Gods"
			is_ruler = yes
			age = 16
			prisoner = no
			OR = {
				culture_group = north_germanic
				religion = norse_pagan
				religion = norse_pagan_reformed
			}
			NOT = {	has_character_flag = commissioned_runestone }
			NOT = { year = 1150 }

Maybe your later rulers have the wrong culture?

# ? May 29, 2013 09:28

Rurik: Mar 5, 2010; Thief
Warrior
Gladiator
Grand Prince

Myoclonic Jerk posted:

I ran into the same problem - my heir is somewhere in the British isles and I have no way to lure him back so I can set him up a proper marriage. Come back, son, I'll give you Norwegian maidens and Saxon concubines!

This DLC owns so hard. Can anybody recommend a Viking-appropriate Pandora station, maybe some metal?

I listened to Thyrfing. Spotify at least has several albums.

Looting is fun, but I started as Ivar the Boneless and he's so big a player that there are actual wars to wage instead of simply looting (I mean, I looted the entire countryside of Wessex, cause they couldn't muster as many troops as I had in my "looting force"). But I guess it's now much more fun to play as mere count, since you can piss off kings.

I also haven't found planned invasions anywhere. It would be nice.

Oh, and even though it's cool to reform a religion, it kind of sucks that as a pagan ruler it's essentially a race against time for reformation. I know there's a reason pagans lost historically, but I'd rather have a century or so of unreformed Norse playing before the penalties really start to kick in. I guess what I'm saying is that unreformed pagans shouldn't be stuck with gavelkind.

# ? May 29, 2013 09:34

Skellybones: May 31, 2011; Fun Shoe

There's an event chain where you summon :cthulhu:

# ? May 29, 2013 09:43

reignonyourparade: Nov 15, 2012

Is the gavelkind rework giving away all but one province no matter what for anyone else? I just ended up with a single province while my only brother got four.

# ? May 29, 2013 09:43

Knuc U Kinte: Aug 17, 2004

reignonyourparade posted:

Is the gavelkind rework giving away all but one province no matter what for anyone else? I just ended up with a single province while my only brother got four.

I don;t think they reworked it, just made it so you can;t load your heir up with all your titles before oyu die.

# ? May 29, 2013 09:45

Pharohman777: Jan 14, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Shadeoses posted:

There's an event chain where you summon

WHAT

Pics, NOW

# ? May 29, 2013 09:51

meatbag: Apr 2, 2007; Clapping Larry

reignonyourparade posted:

Is the gavelkind rework giving away all but one province no matter what for anyone else? I just ended up with a single province while my only brother got four.

I had three kingdoms, and my younger son got two, as well as 6 of my 8 counties.

# ? May 29, 2013 09:53

Tehan: Jan 19, 2011

My primary heir got two counties, my second son got four. Gavelkind is bad enough, this freaky super-gavelkind is just infuriating.

# ? May 29, 2013 10:13

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Everytime I try to play I make it a few years or so before getting ruined by invasion or rebellion. I try to respond to every "major message" as best as I can at a time, keep my council constantly busy, and every time one of those potential action things "you can create titles, you can press de jure claims" I try and pursue it, but everything falls to ruin.

The furthest I got was playing as Sweden, invading England, and trying to take territory before William shows up with 3x the troops and stomps me into the ground.

# ? May 29, 2013 10:13

TOOT BOOT: May 25, 2010

Pharohman777 posted:

WHAT

Pics, NOW

I think this is what he's talking about, not as exciting as it sounds:

http://imgur.com/a/jbBfr

# ? May 29, 2013 10:15

Ivan Shitskin: Nov 29, 2002

I like how you can just sail right in and burn Rome to the ground and they can't do a drat thing about it.

A while ago back in England, Wessex and Mercia started fighting each other in an excommunication war, and while they were busy fighting over who is the best Catholic, I land in Rome and start torching everything. That will teach your silly religion.

# ? May 29, 2013 10:17

Cluncho McChunk: Aug 16, 2010; An informational void capable only of creating noise

Played a couple hours as a ruler-designed petty king of whatever that large duchy in Sweden is called. I immediately called for subjugation of Sweden and set about making it happen. As soon as that was done I used the pagan subjugation on the petty king of Skane and Sjaelland so I could add that holy site to my control, while fabricating claims on the one in Norway to give me control of three. Since then I've mostly been raiding. It turns out that stealing anything not nailed down in northern france is ludicrously profitable.

My current opinions on The Old Gods: :black101:

They've done the same thing as they did with the Republic at release, whereby republics/Vikings are able to get insanely powerful insanely quickly, but Vikings are just much much more fun to play. The new technology system is much more involved and useful - my game I pumped my points into military organization and castle infrastructure while looting France to fund me building upgrades to my demesne castles. Being able to directly control this stuff is so much cooler, and I imagine can lead to some absurdly powerful and specialised nations if you played through from TOG start date to the game's end.

# ? May 29, 2013 10:18

Pharohman777: Jan 14, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

TOOT BOOT posted:

I think this is what he's talking about, not as exciting as it sounds:

http://imgur.com/a/jbBfr

What happens if you take the other option?

# ? May 29, 2013 10:21

Dr. Video Games 0031: Jul 17, 2004

pentyne posted:

Everytime I try to play I make it a few years or so before getting ruined by invasion or rebellion. I try to respond to every "major message" as best as I can at a time, keep my council constantly busy, and every time one of those potential action things "you can create titles, you can press de jure claims" I try and pursue it, but everything falls to ruin.

The furthest I got was playing as Sweden, invading England, and trying to take territory before William shows up with 3x the troops and stomps me into the ground.

It just sounds like you're making odd strategic decisions. Why are you invading England as Sweden? You'll gain a lot more benefit invading other Scandinavian territories and trying to unite a Scandinavian empire. I mean, you don't have to do that, it's an open ended game after all, so you can invade England right away if you want. But even if you do manage to beat back the wealthier and more populous english and take over their territory, you'll have difficulties integrating them because they're different culture and any Anglo-Saxon or Norman vassals will be more rebellious.

You should always try to consolidate your own position at home before striking out with any grand ambitions. Make sure you have some decently upgraded castles, make sure no one is actively trying to screw you over, and make sure you have a good tax base and can field more troops than the enemy.

# ? May 29, 2013 10:23

Qwo: Sep 27, 2011

The game ends.

# ? May 29, 2013 10:23

Tehan: Jan 19, 2011

Yeah, if you've got a couple thousand bored vikings it's pretty easy to load them up and do the Rome/Venice/Amalfi tour, since there's no castle on top you can pop the main holding about the same time you finish picking off the unfortified loot and be on your merry way.

I'm enjoying the hell out of being a Viking, I find myself having a better grasp of the geopolitics because every time I head out again I do a skim of the goings-on to pick out a suitably tumultuous region to tear through. The British Isles are great early on, but they tend to settle down after a while and picking on the Irish gets dull after a while.

# ? May 29, 2013 10:23

Jabu: Feb 11, 2004; There are no heroes left in man

The Fall of Constantinople, a few centuries early.

# ? May 29, 2013 10:30

Adrian Owlsley: Aug 6, 2010; This galaxy only has room for one karaoke champ.

Pharohman777 posted:

What happens if you take the other option?

Your character dies and gets the 'offered as sacrifice to the old gods' death reason.

# ? May 29, 2013 10:35

Charlz Guybon: Nov 16, 2010

TOOT BOOT posted:

I think this is what he's talking about, not as exciting as it sounds:

http://imgur.com/a/jbBfr

You gotta be making GBS threads me! That's rad as hell! :catstare:

# ? May 29, 2013 11:21

Demiurge4: Aug 10, 2011

So Wiz's CK2+ thread on the Paradox forum says its compatible with all DLC, I take it it's not actually compatible with Old Gods and he just hasn't gotten around to updating it yet?

# ? May 29, 2013 11:34

GenderSelectScreen: Mar 7, 2010; I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME; College Slice

Demiurge4 posted:

So Wiz's CK2+ thread on the Paradox forum says its compatible with all DLC, I take it it's not actually compatible with Old Gods and he just hasn't gotten around to updating it yet?

The DLC literally came out yesterday. And considering that he now works for PDX give it a week or two.

# ? May 29, 2013 11:39

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

I'm still enjoying the vanilla game more than I expected. I thought it'd be hard to break away from CK2+ but it's not that bad.

Nthing in this thread that vikings are awesome. I'm so glad I bought the cosmetic dlc, the hymns of the old god really get you in the :black101:

mood.

# ? May 29, 2013 11:44

Adrian Owlsley: Aug 6, 2010; This galaxy only has room for one karaoke champ.

I think I'd like to make british culture people use the norse facial features if possible, since the norse pack looks generally better and it would make the intermixing that goes on between them less of a crapshoot on which portrait pack the kids get. Is there a way to mod that?

# ? May 29, 2013 11:48

Cirofren: Jun 13, 2005; Pillbug

Shadeoses posted:

There's an event chain where you summon

For a moment I wondered if this was happening because my ruler had the lunatic trait.

# ? May 29, 2013 11:51

Ghetto Prince: Sep 11, 2010; got to be mellow, y'all

JosefStalinator posted:

Oh Paradox

Click for big.

alright, gently caress it, bought CK2 and most of the DLC for the 75% off steam sale.

# ? May 29, 2013 11:52

Rurik: Mar 5, 2010; Thief
Warrior
Gladiator
Grand Prince

JosefStalinator posted:

Oh Paradox

Click for big.

I read the little box in the Nameless One's voice.

# ? May 29, 2013 11:56

occipitallobe: Jul 16, 2012

Quick question, does anyone know if Great Holy Wars are subject to the same time limits Crusades/Jihads are? In the sense I'm not going to be able to call all my Norse brethren to liberate holy Sicily until the 1090s?

# ? May 29, 2013 12:01

The Mattybee: Sep 15, 2007; despair.

I do not understand what I'm supposed to do as anyone who's not Norse, where it appears to be:

a] suck

b] die

# ? May 29, 2013 12:06

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# ? May 29, 2024 17:01

algebra testes: Mar 5, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Fuligin posted:

Best part is that nobody even knows where the nickname came from, although some believe it might refer to impotence. Or brittle bone disease, but that seems unlikely.

Mine sure as hell wasn't "Boneless" in that case, if you get my drift.

My drift being that he had sex with lots of women folk and had lots of kids.

Which bit me in the rear end because his son got to be king at like age 60 and when he died his infant son got murdered in his crib by one of his many uncles who wanted to be king.

# ? May 29, 2013 12:15

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