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Quality thread. Quality commentating. Been following since Vox Nihili started it, and am still hoping a little guy pulls out some clutch finish. Big guys dominate everything...until a kobold (or gremlin, or whoever small fellow is left) gets a 1-in-a-1000 chance strike and clenches the deal.
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# ? May 5, 2013 09:38 |
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# ? May 28, 2024 18:33 |
If your business involves setting up a website, then you've already proven you're pretty ace at that! I cry for the snakemen, however.
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# ? May 5, 2013 10:13 |
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Awesome update! The commentary was hilarious, and the match a nailbiter. Good luck with your business!
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# ? May 5, 2013 15:07 |
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Its very nice to see this thread resurrected. Thank you Jazzimus for reading a book containing the secrets of life and death. Now I will soon see if Shooty McShootalot will win again. I hope he win or dies in a horrible, brutal death. I will accept nothing in the middle.
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# ? May 6, 2013 00:27 |
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Woo Pip! That was a close one.
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# ? May 6, 2013 16:33 |
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No update just yet, but I think I can probably do one this weekend. However, the reason for this post is, I've just purchased a MacBook as part of the testing process of launching the business I'm working on, and I noticed something... why didn't any of you Mac users tell me that the Arena Challenge site looks like utter poo poo in Safari? Specifically, I'm looking at you, Mr. Bad Munki. You, Mr. Mac User, saw all along that the left panel didn't line up the way it should, and you never let me know about it. I should have fixed the CSS years ago, and now I have to put it on the "To Do" list. but no hard feelings, man, I'm just messing with ya but still i wish someone somewhere had said something, and I blame the update delay on Bad Munki regardless
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# ? May 17, 2013 11:01 |
Meh, I just assumed you were either bad at what you did or you thought that looked good
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# ? May 17, 2013 14:50 |
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Bad Munki posted:Meh, I just assumed you were either bad at what you did or you thought that looked good The site should look much better on Safari now, unless I've done something horribly wrong. edit: I've broken the site header on Firefox though, let me take a minute to fix the CSS file edit2: no, I haven't broken the header on Firefox after all; Firefox was still using the old cached (and now invalid) CSS file Also, I've run the next fight, but still need to write it up and upload the results. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Jun 8, 2013 |
# ? Jun 8, 2013 21:08 |
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Round Three, Match Ten Match Ten, Sir Smellsalot (Black Griffon) vs. Shootey McShootalot (Useless Shotgun) Welcome to another edition of Arena Challenge! This is Ironhide the Autobot, third in command of the Generation 1 Autobots, here with my buddy Jazz, second in command of the Generation 1 Autobots! Call me Jazzimus. What? The "-imus" suffix is only for Autobot leaders like Optimus and Rodimus, and sometimes for radio shock-jocks like Don Imus and Howard Sternimus. You don't do radio, and you were never an Autobot leader. True, but I outranked Hot Rod when Optimus died, so Hot Rod never should have received the Generation 1 Matrix of Leadership. And also, you don't know your Latin noun declensions. But all that's beside the point. Welcome to the newest edition of Arena Challenge, and... Hey, wait a minute. How did you even get to Dwarfhalla? You didn't die in the original Generation 1 Transformers movie like I did, and that's how I got here. Only the dead, like me, and Gimli son of Gloin, and Sweyn Forkbeard, and other dead curmudgeons earn the right to... Let's introduce the fighters. In the left corner... Aw, hey, I know why you're here! You survived the Autobot massacre of 2005 in the Generation 1 Transformers movie, but you died in that franchise-reboot movie by Michael Bay! Michael who? Never heard of him. Introducing, in the left corner... Oh, and one other thing. Bad Munki up here, up here in Dwarfhalla, he's been bothering me. He told me to tell you that the Arena Challenge website CSS for Safari looks better now. He even said I could interrupt the fight to tell you that, it was that important. Well... okay I guess. I heard he was never properly buried so he probably spends most of his time harassing the citizens of Gemclod. You mean Bronzestabbed? Uh, yes. So may I please introduce the fighters now? Oh, yeah, sorry for interrupting. Introducing, in the left corner, weighing in at 370 pounds, hailing from Parts Unknown, is Sir Smellsalot the Tigerman, wielding a steel whip and an oak wood buckler, his manager Black Griffon by his side! And, in the right corner, weighing in at 108 pounds, hailing from Rivendell, wearing a copper helm, mail shirt, leggings, gauntlets, and high boots, and wielding a steel bow, is Shootey McShootalot, managed by Useless Shotgun! Good luck to both fighters! Why is it that both fighters' names end in "alot"? I think it's some kind of pun on Sir Lancelot, the most famous of King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table. You see, it's become a part of modern popular culture ever since about 60 years ago, the Warner Brothers' Looney Toons cartoon franchise started making jokes about how knights would fight their enemies from horseback using a lance, and how also "Lancelot" sounds just like "Lance-a-lot", and so it would be funny if... oh, wait! The bell has rung, and the fighters are off! Shootey McShootalot fires an arrow, but Sir Smellsalot blocks it! Sir Smellsalot charges, while Shootey McShootalot readies another arrow! And he shoots! And that's why they call him Shootalot, by the way, getting back to your earlier question. What? Never mind. And it's a miss! And, hey. Why is it that we were able to talk so much here in the booth, during the short time that that little arrow down there traveled such a short distance across the arena? I don't know. Must be the magic of written narrative, I guess. You mean written dialogue? Stop trying to pretend you're smarter than me. You aren't fooling anybody. It looks like that little elf only has time to get off one more shot. And he does, one more shot is fired off as Sir Smellsalot charges, and... ANOTHER MISS! Three misses in a row. That elf is in trouble. Maybe not though! Shootey McShootalot dodges just as Sir Smellsalot leaps at him, and the huge tigerman slams into the arena wall! And this might be the break Shootey needs! Shootey reloads his bow to fire at point-blank range... but Sir Smellsalot recovers and gets to his feet just in time, and knocks the bow away with his big right paw! The arrow shoots into the stone arena floor! Smellsalot charges again, and Shootalot dodges again! The foes have moved away from the arena walls towards the center! The foes slowly, cautiously circle each other. Two fighters circling each other. Haven't we seen this before? As Shootey McShootalot raises his bow, Sir Smellsalot lashes several times with his whip, flaying Shootey's leg and torso! Big guy beating up on a small guy. Yeah, we've seen this before. Sir Smellsalot presses the advantage! Shootey reels in pain and drops his bow, and Sir Smellsalot continues lashing him! Shootey falls to the ground in agony! And while he's on the ground, Sir Smellsalot lashes his head into mush! And this fight is over! Aww. I wanted the little guy to win. So, do you think a little guy will ever beat a big guy again? Well, it could happen. After all, Dies Horribly fights next! He's that plucky little goblin that always seems to defy the odds! If anyone can pull the upset, he can! Good point, except he's heavily favored in the next fight, and he's actually fighting someone smaller than himself. Oh. Well then, let's stay tuned to see whether the apeman Ook. Ook? OOOOOOKK! can pull off the upset! And another thing. Why did it take so long for you to make this update? Quit breaking the fourth wall. And I've been busy lately. And also, Photobucket sucks now, at least for forum updates like these, which makes the updates take even longer. I heard the new Flickr sucks even worse though. See y'all next time! Combat Log Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 08:10 on Sep 2, 2013 |
# ? Jun 9, 2013 06:27 |
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Jazzimus Prime posted:Quit breaking the fourth wall. And I've been busy lately. And also, Photobucket sucks now, at least for forum updates like these, which makes the updates take even longer. Allow me to point our hapless Autobot to http://lpix.org/ and http://imgur.com/ . Lpix is a product by goon baldurk for the Let's Play subforum and has a Rightload plugin. You'd think an elf named Shooty McShootalot would be better at, well, shooting.
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# ? Jun 9, 2013 09:25 |
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Awesome! Glad to see this is back again!
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# ? Jun 9, 2013 14:42 |
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Well, there is always next decade.
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# ? Jun 9, 2013 18:14 |
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Round Three, Match Eleven Match Eleven, Ook. Ook? OOOOOOKK! (Exercu) vs. Dies Horribly (rickvoid) Welcome to another edition of Arena Challenge, live from Dwarfhalla Square Garden, where a sellout crowd of 19,157 has come to see Ook-Ook-Ook the Strangler take on Dies Horribly the goblin! I'm your host Gorilla Monsoon, and providing commentary is Jesse Ventura! And this should be quite a match, Gino. Dies Horribly is on quite a run, but stranglers have always been known to punch above their weight class. And that's Ook in the left corner there, with an iron battleaxe in one hand and a wooden shield in the other. And in the opposite corner, Dies Horribly wears two layers of copper headgear, a cap and a helm, and wears an iron mail shirt under his silver breastplate! He has a steel mining pick in one hand, and a copper shield in the other! His head and body look pretty well protected, Gino, but his limbs are vulnerable. Meanwhile, Ook isn't wearing any armor at all! This should be interesting. And there's the bell! The two opponents slowly make their way to the center of the ring, facing each other! And look at the disdain on Dies Horribly's face! They stare each other down in the center of the ring, and... Dies Horribly chops at Ook's right leg with his pick in rapid succession, and severs the leg cleanly! Ook falls to the floor! That's a really bad start for Ook, but you know what? A strangler, with its four arms, can still move around even while missing a leg. I wouldn't call this fight over yet. Ook steadies himself with two of his arms, and swings his axe at Dies Horribly! But Dies parries the blow, and tries for a finishing blow, but Ook blocks it with his shield! Like I said, Gino, he can still move around. But he's going to have to worry about blood loss from that wound. Ook swings his axe again, and Dies jumps back! Now Dies is hanging back keeping his distance, waiting for an opening! And this is good strategy by Dies Horribly here. Ook is trying to close in on him, but that blood loss is really starting to get to him. Yes, the arena floor is getting slick with the blood that's pulsing from Ook's femoral artery! "Femoral artery", Gino? You can just say his leg is bleeding. You don't have to go all Gray's Anatomy on us. And Ook nearly goes to the floor, faint from blood loss! But as Dies Horribly moves in for the kill, Ook swings his axe and connects, cutting open Dies' left hand! And the Garden just literally exploded! That's not how you use the word "literally", Gino. Flesh is torn off of Dies' hand. He keeps hold of his pick, but he stumbles back from the pain! And Ook swings another desperate strike with his axe, and tears open Dies' other hand! Dies Horribly drops his shield to the arena floor! It's starting to get interesting, Gino. Like I said, you can't count the little strangler out yet. Now both fighters are looking pretty bad, as Ook is pale from blood loss, and Dies is in terrible pain and has lost his shield. They're circling each other in the center of the ring, both fighters seemingly afraid to commit or open up their guard! They both have to be really careful here. The next mistake by either fighter could cost them the match. Finally Ook plants a hand on the arena floor to brace himself for a lunging attack, but Dies swings his pick and chops the hand clean off! And now Ook is bleeding again! This might do it, Gino. Dies Horribly backs off, and Ook is unable to mount another attack! Ook collapses, dead from blood loss! And the goblin does it again, Gino. That's four wins in a row for him, including the Battle Royale that he had to win to even make it into the tournament! For Jesse Ventura, I'm Gorilla Monsoon, and we'll see you all next time! Good night from Dwarfhalla! Combat Log
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 17:56 |
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Now we're cooking! It makes sense that the battle royal victor would go far, in a sort of survival of the fittest way.
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 18:58 |
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Inside the Numbers On the betting front, rickvoid continues his thorough dominance through his strategy of betting on himself. His fighter's victory earlier today netted him over 10,000 dwarfbucks! However, if his fighter slips up and loses in the next round, that could give plenty of other players a new shot at taking the betting crown for themselves! In 107 fights this tournament, the larger fighter holds a 61-39 advantage. Seven fights have featured opponents of the same size. However, larger fighters currently have a five game winning streak versus smaller fighters. To break this down further, here's how the various fighter races have performed against each other this tournament. It hasn't been a good tournament for the smallest races, with gremlins, gnomes, and kobolds combining for a miserable 3-21 record, and gnomes going completely winless for the tournament. Finally, let's take a look at the all-time winningest players throughout the tournament's history, considering only one-on-one competition and not including teamplay. Gomegoth and ZeeToo top the list with nine victories each! FebrezeNinja, Bene Elim, and Bad Munki are close behind, as the only players with more than six victories.
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 19:15 |
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Oh boy, statistics!
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 20:08 |
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The round's not over yet! I could still tie Gomegoth. I didn't know stranglers could do that. Too bad bleeding out isn't slower.
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 20:16 |
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Round Three, Match Twelve Match Twelve, MLK (Red Dragon) vs. Yum (pelao) So is this supposed to be a doubleheader or somethin'? Apparently so. Welcome to the Armokdome, for the second match of today's doubleheader! This match features MLK the Minotaur, managed by Red Dragon, versus Yum the Goblin, managed by Pelao! Another big guy versus little guy match, huh? Uh, yes. In the left corner, MLK wears no armor, and he wields an iron warhammer. In the right corner, Yum also wields a warhammer, this one made of copper. She uses a wooden shield in her off-hand, and wears a leather cap, leather armor, iron gauntlets, and iron boots. And they're off! MLK charges Yum and knocks her to the arena floor! While Yum is stunned, MLK wastes no time and bashes Yum once in the gut, and then again in the left arm! Here we go again. Yum gets back to her feet. MLK tries to strike again, but this one is blocked by Yum! She counterstrikes, bashing MLK in the foot! Yeah, come on! Get back in this! I know you want the smaller fighter to win, but we're supposed to be impartial. You're supposed to provide commentary, not cheerleading. MLK grits his teeth and charges Yum again, knocking her to the floor again! Then he brings the hammer down on Yum's shin! Naw, durn it! MLK brings the hammer down one more time on Yum's ribs, smashing them through the leather armor and puncturing a lung! Aw well. Yum passes out from the pain, and MLK mercifully lands one final hammer strike on Yum's head, and it's all over! If it makes you feel any better, Ironhide, the next fight features two small fighters, a serpentman and an antwoman. So you'll finally get to see a small fighter win one. Which one's smaller? I think they're the same size. See y'all next time! Combat Log Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Jun 10, 2013 |
# ? Jun 10, 2013 20:22 |
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At least that one was mercifully short. I'm kind of surprised he didn't break every one of Yum's limbs before killing him.
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 21:09 |
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Glad to see you've picked the pace back up. That first match was really exciting! The second one was short and brutal.
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 22:15 |
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Poor Yum, we barely knew ye.
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 23:38 |
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Good fights! I was worried for a minute there for underdog hero Dies Horribly, and was glad to see him get the win. Love the Gorilla Monsoon / Jesse Ventura commentary team.
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 23:39 |
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Dies won again? That's m' boy. Pity about Yum. Need to check the site to see how many other Goblins are left in this thing. Jazzimus posted:On the betting front, rickvoid continues his thorough dominance through his strategy of betting on himself. It really is the best strategy. Wonder who I'll be up against in the next round. I'm really interested to see how Dies would fare against something like a minotaur.
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# ? Jun 10, 2013 23:54 |
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RickVoid posted:Dies won again? That's m' boy. The final four matches of the current round don't feature any goblins, so it looks like it's just the three that have already advanced: your guy Dies Horribly, along with Elizabeth Bennet and Pinball Wizard. RickVoid posted:Wonder who I'll be up against in the next round. Good question. For those who have forgotten this tournament's rules, the matches are randomized at the start of each new round, so the tournament bracket doesn't give any indication of who a fighter will be up against next!
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# ? Jun 11, 2013 00:36 |
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Jazzimus Prime posted:Good question. For those who have forgotten this tournament's rules, the matches are randomized at the start of each new round, so the tournament bracket doesn't give any indication of who a fighter will be up against next! Why would we forget, it's only been- Vox Nihili posted:07/22/2011 Oh right.
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# ? Jun 11, 2013 00:44 |
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Hell yes I'm a winner. Checking winning percentages is unfair, incidentally.
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# ? Jun 11, 2013 04:17 |
I think I asked this a little while back, but did I adopt Mrs. Vox at some point? I don't actually recall doing so, but I can manage said fighter on the website and have a little over 600 points to spend. Now that things are rolling again, I want to make sure I do my best to cock it up for any fighters I'm responsible for. To be clear: I'm not at all interested in giving up this fighter, not on your life! I just want to make sure it's not a mistake.
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# ? Jun 11, 2013 04:20 |
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Bad Munki posted:I think I asked this a little while back, but did I adopt Mrs. Vox at some point? I don't actually recall doing so, but I can manage said fighter on the website and have a little over 600 points to spend. Now that things are rolling again, I want to make sure I do my best to cock it up for any fighters I'm responsible for. Yes you did adopt her, also you posted this prediction about this round, we'll see if it comes true. Bad Munki posted:Oh wait, I survived the first round of this tourney before falling out...I guess it takes up to TWO rounds for me to screw the pooch. See you next round, folks, when the Hon. Dr. Mrs. The gently caress Rogers Vox S. Preston Esq. Godzilla Buttercup XIV dies a horribly pathetic death!
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# ? Jun 11, 2013 04:35 |
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Round Three, Match Thirteen Match Thirteen, The Badgerconda (Strom Cuzewon) vs. Picnic Raider (Monk E) So why did Jazzimus and Ironhide wake us up again? Because it's an Arena Challenge Tripleheader, that's why! Oh, bullshit. They haven't even done three matches in the last year. There's no way they did three in one day. I'm telling you, Jazzimus said he wanted to get this tournament over with! And watch your language! Why should I watch my language? We aren't on the fuckin' Muppet show anymore. And the Walt Disney Corporation embraces filth. Hey! Just because Jim Henson is dead, do you think that gives you the right to talk that way about our new owners? Well, have you ever seen a Disney sequel? Any of them? Oh, well, fair enough. Welcome to Arena Challenge, live from the Dwarfhalla Bowl, from western Dwarfhalla, near the borders of Aman and Yggdrasil! In the left corner, we have The Badgerconda, a serpent man wielding a scourge of adamantine, wearing three layers of headgear -- a leather and copper cap beneath a steel helm, a steel mail shirt beneath a steel breastplate, leather gloves, and a leather boot on his tail! And in the right corner, Picnic Raider the Soldier Ant wields only a copper flail and holds a wooden buckler in her other hand! And Badgerconda swings his scourge at Picnic Raider, but she jumps away! It's good to see two small guys going at it this late in the tournament. I haven't seen two small guys fight for something this important since the 2012 Vice Presidential Debates. Picnic Raider closes in, and swings her third arm at the Badgerconda, bruising one of his arms! These fighters with four arms really freak me out. First the strangler earlier today, and now the ant-woman. How would you know about the strangler? You said you were sleeping earlier! Well, I fell asleep watching that earlier fight. That was a good fight! You're just narcoleptic. The fighters circle each other, and circle each other, and circle, and circle, and... I think I might go to sleep again, if you don't mind. Picnic Raider suddenly swings her flail, and smashes Badgerconda's right arm! He grimaces in pain! snore... hmm... wha? Badgerconda swings his scourge, but Picnic Raider dodges! Then Picnic Raider punches again, and bruises Badgerconda's arm again! It'll take more than just punches to win this fight, though. Badgerconda swings his scourge again, but Picnic Raider blocks it! Then Picnic Raider swings her flail, but Badgerconda jumps back! I really hope Jazzimus didn't wake me up just so I could watch two fighters swing and miss at each other. It will get better. By rule, somebody has to die at the end. Is this some kind of joke on the name of one of the fighters' managers? Well, maybe it could have been, if you hadn't just ruined it for those few people who might get the joke. Picnic Raider swings her flail again, and breaks Badgerconda's right arm! Then she spins and delivers a kick to Badgerconda's belly! Badgerconda couldn't have enjoyed that. That must have been as painful as you having sex with your ugly wife! Yeah, but probably not quite as painful as me having sex with YOUR ugly wife. Ugh! Better you than me! Picnic Raider presses the advantage and swings her flail! Ouch! That connected, and it looked like it broke Badgerconda's right wrist. I bet it didn't hurt as bad as when you broke your hip the last time you sneezed, you old fart. Badgerconda reels in pain, and Picnic Raider swings her flail again, smashing his right hand! And he just dropped his adamantine weapon! And every time he reaches to try to pick it up again, she smashes his hands with her flail again! Pretty brutal, isn't it? I kind of like it. Thanks for making sure I woke up. And now Picnic Raider charges, and knocks Badgerconda to the arena floor! She keeps swinging her flail at his hands! Well, his hands aren't covered with armor. A blow from the flail connects, shattering the other wrist! Badgerconda passes out from the pain! He's fallen, and he can't get up! You'd know something about that, wouldn't you? Ask your doctor if Cialis or Viagra are right for you. Shut up. Now Picnic Raider is wailing on Badgerconda with her flail. This will be over soon. Badgerconda's headgear is tough, but Picnic Raider swings away at it while he's unconscious, and she finally smashes his brain through the thick metal! And that's it! See you next time! Combat Log Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 05:05 on Jun 11, 2013 |
# ? Jun 11, 2013 04:45 |
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Goddammit you're supposed to aim for his head! (I have no idea why he wore three hats)
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# ? Jun 11, 2013 07:08 |
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Jazzimus Prime posted:Call me Jazzimus. I'm going to chalk it up to being incredibly tired but I can't believe I didn't pick up on that until I saw your username again in the next post. Uuuugh. Thanks for the fantastic commentary, Jazzimus. Super exciting to see this thing moving at a brisk pace again!
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# ? Jun 12, 2013 13:15 |
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Glad the tournament is up and running. Maybe it'll finish by 2014!
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# ? Jun 13, 2013 06:24 |
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Vim Fuego posted:Glad the tournament is up and running. Maybe it'll finish by 2014! I'm hoping it will be finished well before then. In fact, I hope to have an update tomorrow, and then to finish the last two fights of this round over the weekend. After that, I plan to take a full week off to give the managers a chance to update their fighters. If they've waited a year or more for the round to finish, the least I can do is give them a week to update their fighters before giving the fighters away to those of you that are still following the thread. The old rule stands that you can't manage more than one fighter at a time, though. So anyway, Round Three done by Sunday
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# ? Jun 14, 2013 04:47 |
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Excellent. Ted is next, and looking to bring the Hurty.
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# ? Jun 14, 2013 06:42 |
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It's always fun watching creatures beat each other to death for our amusement, even more so in a combat system this brutal.
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# ? Jun 20, 2013 19:25 |
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Jazzimus Prime posted:I'm hoping it will be finished well before then. In fact, I hope to have an update tomorrow, and then to finish the last two fights of this round over the weekend. I feel like I've been waiting a year to see my guy fight! Let's get that fight done (I don't really care about the other ones I just want to see my naked swordsman attack a guy with a sword)
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# ? Jul 3, 2013 22:15 |
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Burginator posted:I feel like I've been waiting a year to see my guy fight! Let's get that fight done (I don't really care about the other ones I just want to see my naked swordsman attack a guy with a sword) I had meant to get some fights run earlier but didn't get around to it. I'm out of town on vacation for all this week and can't get to my notes, but I'll try to finish the round when I get back next week.
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# ? Jul 4, 2013 18:37 |
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Round Three, Match Fourteen Match Fourteen, Hugh Mann (burginator) vs. Ted the Hurty (Fiddlers Three) This is Al Michaels with my colleague John Madden, and welcome again to another edition of Arena Challenge, live from Syrupleaf Pavilion on this Thursday night! Are we still doing these? Yes, but not on any kind of a regular schedule, it would seem. Tonight's match features Hugh Mann, who, as the name implies, is a human gladiator wielding a steel longsword and iron shield, but with only a set of leather high boots for armor. And he's up against Ted the Hurty, another human, who wears a full set of iron armor -- a helm, breastplate, greaves, gauntlets, and boots, plus a copper mail shirt and leather cap for extra protection underneath. Ted wields a silver flail in one hand and a wooden shield in the other. And, you see, and this is what makes Arena Challenge interesting right here. Because you have two different schools of thought going on in this match. On the one hand, you have this one fighter with no armor, but that allows him to be more nimble out there, and it also lets him focus his skills on using that weapon of his. On the other hand, you have the other guy with a FULL set of armor, but he won't quite be so nimble out there in the heavy armor and probably isn't quite as skilled with his weapon, but he has some life-saving protection that the other guy doesn't have. Now you can get by without having that kind of protection, as long as you never get hit. But if you ever get hit and you don't have any armor, you're probably going to lose the match. And there's the bell, and the fighters are off! Ted strikes at Hugh with his flail, but Hugh blocks with his shield! Hugh counterstrikes with the sword, but Ted blocks with his shield! Both fighters are good with their shields! You need a good defense to get this far in the tournament. Ted swings his flail at Hugh again, but Hugh parries! Ted tries to regain his balance after the swing, but Hugh slices swiftly with his sword, and... Uh oh. This doesn't look good. Hugh slices Ted's right arm off at the elbow, right through his armor, and the silver flail crashes to the floor! Yeah, this is bad. This is real bad. Now, I'd have to go back and look through the archives to be sure, but I don't think anyone has ever won a one-on-one Arena deathmatch after having their weapon arm cut off. I'm not saying it can't be done, but I don't think it ever has been done, and I don't think it's going to be done here tonight. Hugh swings again to press the advantage, but Ted jumps back! Now Hugh backs off as well, and the foes circle each other in the center of the arena! Ted holds his shield out in front and is ready to use it to strike with, but he looks like he's already getting weak from blood loss after losing his arm! Now Ted charges and tries to bash Hugh with his shield, but Hugh deflects it with his own shield! Hugh counterstrikes, but Ted gets his shield back in place in time to block Hugh's sword! And Ted had better come up with something quick here to help his chances, or this thing's going to be over. And in desperation, Ted tries to do just that! He charges at Hugh in an attempt to knock him to the floor! He crashes into Hugh, but can't knock him down! Well, that was a good idea, but I think Ted is just too weak from all that blood loss to follow that hit all the way through. Ted recovers and swings his shield wildly at Hugh in an attempt to generate some offense! But he misses, and with his guard open, Hugh is able to stab him in the left leg! And you can see from his face that Ted's in real pain now. He was in pain before, and now, now that pain just got a lot worse. Now Hugh presses the advantage again, and charges Ted! With his wounded leg, Ted is unable to absorb the charge, and crashes to the floor! And this gives Hugh a chance to finish him off here. Before Ted can get back to his feet, Hugh slices off the rest of what used to be Ted's weapon arm at the shoulder! And that right there just started the bleeding all over again. I think this fight might be over. But Ted's not willing to concede just yet! From the ground, he swings his shield at Hugh but misses! And Hugh tries to strike a finishing blow, but Ted blocks it with his shield! There's something to be said for not giving up. But it's too late as Ted finally collapses, dead from blood loss! That was a heckuva fight. I really thought that Ted had the advantage going in, with having that full set of armor, but losing his weapon hand really changed everything. They say that defense wins championships, but you can't really win anything if you lose your offense. And for John Madden, this is Al Michaels, and that's it for Thursday Night Arena Challenge! See you all next time! Combat Log Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 09:47 on Aug 30, 2013 |
# ? Aug 30, 2013 04:22 |
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Aw, nutz.
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# ? Aug 30, 2013 04:44 |
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# ? May 28, 2024 18:33 |
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Jazzimus Prime posted:And, you see, and this is what makes Arena Challenge interesting right here. Because you have two different schools of thought going on in this match. On the one hand, you have this one fighter with no armor, but that allows him to be more nimble out there, and it also lets him focus his skills on using that weapon of his. On the other hand, you have the other guy with a FULL set of armor, but he won't quite be so nimble out there in the heavy armor and probably isn't quite as skilled with his weapon, but he has some life-saving protection that the other guy doesn't have. Now you can get by without having that kind of protection, as long as you never get hit. But if you ever get hit and you don't have any armor, you're probably going to lose the match. I love you.
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# ? Aug 30, 2013 06:16 |