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My mom was raised as a socialite in New Orleans in the fifties. But when I was expecting my first baby, she told me some friend of her mom's was always telling her to put the baby to bed at 7:00 every night, shut the door, and don't go in until 7 the next morning. The point being she thought that was ridiculous and cruel advice and that I should expect to be up a lot with a baby until we learned to nurse in bed. This idea that in the old days kids behaved and knew their place is more like a meme than reality - I think a lot of us with kids realize that. I have a hard time believing everyone ignored their crying babies as much as you hear, too. It comes out as sympathy, not advice. "those first weeks are so hard" etc.
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Jun 22, 2013 12:00
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I think there's some element of cultural/generational poo poo a play with all the "leave your baby alone, you'll spoil them" stuff. It's how our parent's generation was likely raised, at least to an extent. Remember, when Dr. Spock's book came out, it was revolutionary that he advocated actually paying attention to your child: "In 1946, Spock published his book The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, which became a bestseller. Its message to mothers is that "you know more than you think you do."[2] By 1998 it had sold more than 50 million copies. It has been translated into 39 languages. Later he wrote three more books about parenting. Spock advocated ideas about parenting that were, at the time, considered out of the mainstream. Over time, his books helped to bring about major change. Previously, experts[citation needed] had told parents that babies needed to learn to sleep on a regular schedule, and that picking them up and holding them whenever they cried would only teach them to cry more and not to sleep through the night (a notion that borrows from behaviorism). They were told[citation needed] to feed their children on a regular schedule, and that they should not pick them up, kiss them, or hug them, because that would not prepare them to be strong and independent individuals in a harsh world. Spock encouraged parents to see their children as individuals, and not to apply a one-size-fits all philosophy to them." So I think you see throw backs still with attitudes and "advice" sometimes. But I agree with hepscat in that perception via hindsight is probably not reality for these folks. Like how the magical, much revered, 50's weren't really like Leave It To Beaver for those living them. Or maybe it is in a couple cases. I know one set of parents who were very aloof with their two children, and now as post 30 adults, you can tell. Still looking for Mommy's approval.
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Jun 22, 2013 14:16
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The last time I let my mother take care of Chris alone she put his diaper on backwards. I don't even know how you screw that up even on purpose. Oh and the last time we visited and I was like "I am going to leave at 10 to take advantage of his nap" it was basically me packing the car while Chris played on the floor by himself and my mother, father and brother were all absorbed in their own entertainment. Coincidentally, it was then I decided it would be the very last time we visited.
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Jun 22, 2013 15:16
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My mother is really great with babies but we don't agree on anything - she thinks he's too old now at 4 months to still be nursing and that we need to move him into his own room. Oh and also if I keep putting him in bed with me when he has trouble sleeping means he'll be in bed with me until he's in middle school. When that poo poo comes up it's time to just smile and nod and ignore it.
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Jun 22, 2013 17:07
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While it was good for everyone's sleep that we moved our daughter to her own room (happened around 7 months), we miss getting to share a bed (she refuses to sleep in our bed, daytime or middle of the night). Waking up to her staring at me was great. I have a question about free standing baby gates. We have an open floor plan at our new house and we are looking for a way to keep our 16month old out of kitchen while we are cooking (fine if she runs through there other times). The opening to the kitchen is 8 foot wide, but one side is brick, where we can't mount anything. Wall-to-wall for mounting something would be about 13 feet. Is there something free-standing that would safely work? It doesn't need to be super secure, since we will always be present and in the kitchen while using it. Simple deterrence + establishing a rule is fine. I've seen something like this freestanding pet gate but am worried that it would be a tipping hazard: http://www.amazon.com/Richell-Freestanding-Large-Autumn-Finish/dp/B000F0VZV8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1371926783&sr=8-2 Also, we'd prefer to wall off the kitchen rather than get one of those octagonal baby "play yards". Any suggestions?
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Jun 22, 2013 19:54
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My wife and I used this gate system http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008NZ51S0/ It's advantage is that it's modular, so you can break it up to string arcoss spaces as needed and it's gotten a lot of use. It doesn't have a means of holding itself up, other than if you turn it into a corral, but it was easy enough for us to prop it up with chairs, shelves and the occasional bungee cable. I guess the one warning I'd put out there is that sometimes the kid would find a piece we weren't actively using and would then pull it over on top of himself, since he was used to it being a solid object. The pieces are pretty light though, so the real issue is 1) him being startled, and 2) having 1 more fall in his life. We thought the benefits outweighed the occasional accidents, but I could see someone going the other way too. Either way it's better to know in advance than discover on your own.
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Jun 22, 2013 20:47
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TacoNight posted:While it was good for everyone's sleep that we moved our daughter to her own room (happened around 7 months), we miss getting to share a bed (she refuses to sleep in our bed, daytime or middle of the night). Waking up to her staring at me was great. I just got the octagonal play yard and used it as a gate - I set it up so that one section was flat against the wall on either side of the door opening and made the part over the opening zig zag so it would stand on its own. We used it to childproof the Christmas tree the same way. I think we had that thing set up as a baby containment unit maybe 3 times ever, most of the time it was used more as a baby deterrent to keep him out of the few areas we didn't want him in.
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Jun 22, 2013 22:41
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Don't the kids just climb those baby gates? Our nearly 9 month old is climbing everything. We've been trying to figure out what to do in terms of keeping him in an area. (We had a great system until he started climbing up on the couch, the chair, plastic totes, etc) He can nearly get himself out of the playpen too... I don't know, I guess I just always thought kids were older than this when they were climbing and would know/ understand discipline. I mean, he understands no but he certainly doesn't always follow it. How do I get anything done without constantly chasing him around the whole house?
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Jun 23, 2013 00:43
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Alex is 12 months and hasn't started climbing things yet, well except the stairs at my in-laws yesterday. But he's made no sign of climbing over baby-gates or up onto the sofa or chairs. All kids are different I guess.
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Jun 23, 2013 09:01
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When would you have to transition to a toddler bed? When they start to be able to climb things?
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Jun 23, 2013 12:15
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Alterian posted:When would you have to transition to a toddler bed? When they start to be able to climb things? Absolutely. This was twenty years ago, but my cousin climbed out of her crib before she turned two and broke her pelvis and spent two months in a hospital. We skipped the toddler bed and went straight to a twin, using the sides of the crib as a head and foot board. Toddler beds seemed to be an unnecessary expense for something that would only be used for a year and then stuffed into an attic. My kid is a crazy roller when she sleeps though so she loves all the extra space.
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Jun 23, 2013 12:58
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The crib we got for him turns into a toddler bed using the same mattress we have now so we were just going to use that until he got too big for it! He's 6 months and started cruising on Friday and already attempting to climb things even though he doesn't have the muscle ability yet. I figured it was more of a when they meet this milestone sort of thing rather than wait till he's 18 months sort of thing.
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Jun 23, 2013 13:13
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What's the consensus on trying to stop a 12 month old from doing something he shouldn't be doing? Alex is getting pretty mobile and has been helpfully pulling himself up on the curtains, which came off the wall, and hitting a single pane glass door with his toys - which despite us having put a layer of safety plastic on the glass he managed to crack it. As he's also fascinated by the TV and although we've put a protective screen in front of it we'd rather try and start teaching him right from wrong. Our approach so far has been a sternly spoken "No!" (not shouted) followed by a quick explanation in the same tone telling him that he's been a naughty boy and <doing whatever he's doing> will break <whatever is most likely to get broken by his actions>. This is all done in simple terms of course! We've then been sitting down on the floor with him and in a nice voice suggesting that a good boy would want to play with all his toys on the floor with <whichever parent is involved>. We're aware that a lot of this will go over his head at the moment, and that a toddler will be selectively deaf if he thinks he can get away with it. Are we on the right approach or are there things we should try differently?
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Jun 24, 2013 06:38
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Mr Darcy posted:What's the consensus on trying to stop a 12 month old from doing something he shouldn't be doing? Alex is getting pretty mobile and has been helpfully pulling himself up on the curtains, which came off the wall, and hitting a single pane glass door with his toys - which despite us having put a layer of safety plastic on the glass he managed to crack it. As he's also fascinated by the TV and although we've put a protective screen in front of it we'd rather try and start teaching him right from wrong. Honestly I wouldn't bother explaining to a 12 month old why he shouldn't do something, I'd just childproof the poo poo out of everything and redirect when he does something he's not supposed to. I feel like my almost three year old is just now starting to be able to understand explanations like that.
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Jun 24, 2013 07:57
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Mr Darcy, he doesn't understand a word coming out of your mouth. You have the formula down for when he's 2 1/2, not 12 months. Just babyproof and redirect. He is not capable of even having a concept of right and wrong. I'd put a gate in front of your TV because teaching him not to touch it is all well and good, and will not be even vaguely possible for two more years. Hell, Tim's 5 and he knows full and well what he can and cannot touch, and of course has moments where he can't help himself. Liam turned 2 in March, and we are at the brief, dog commands type stage. Things are either "No/Stop! Dangerous!" or "No hit/throw/whatever! Not nice/fragile/ouchie/whatever!" followed by some redirection to what he CAN do. We'll do a brief "time in" on the couch and take a break if he just won't give it up and the screaming is bad. I think even a toddler isn't selectively deaf in order to get away with things. That's a preschooler.  I really think up until about 3, they are just too much ID and flakyness and really don't always remember that you just told them an hour ago not to Tarzan off the curtains. It's why we repeat ourselves until we're ready to have an aneurysm. 
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Jun 24, 2013 13:48
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Whats the best way to secure an old style tv and not a flat screen?
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Jun 24, 2013 14:10
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Does anyone have any experience in using ear defenders for their child? We are going to an outdoor ska festival in August with our (then) 12 month old daughter. We've looked around a bit but it would be useful to hear some comments if anyone has any. We've heard that one important thing is not to get one that's too tight as their heads are still quite spongy. Any recommendations or warnings?
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Jun 24, 2013 16:24
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Mr Darcy, you might want to consider your language choices as well. Don't tell your kid he's bad or naughty for doing normal baby things.
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Jun 24, 2013 16:49
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My kid just turned two. She's got the tantrum thing down, and as a rule I don't mind. She's mad because she has the wrong cheese, or she doesn't like her socks, or she wanted to play with the blue crayon, whatever. We fix it and we move it. What is driving me to distraction is the way that she uses "no" to mean whatever she wants it to. Do you want cheese? "no". Okay, I'll close the fridge. "WANT CHEEEEEESE". Ad infinitum. Is there a way to teach/ask/train them to use "no" and "yes" correctly? I'll generally get her what she wants if it's not dangerous or stupid, but I have to know what that is.
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Jun 24, 2013 16:49
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crazyvanman posted:Does anyone have any experience in using ear defenders for their child? We are going to an outdoor ska festival in August with our (then) 12 month old daughter. We've looked around a bit but it would be useful to hear some comments if anyone has any. We've heard that one important thing is not to get one that's too tight as their heads are still quite spongy. Any recommendations or warnings? My son has hyperacusis (super sensitive hearing), it's part of the syndrome he's got. Sounds that are of totally normal volumes to you and me can be painfully loud to him. The most popular hearing protection among WS families is 3M Peltor Kids shooter's muffs (rated NRR22dB). They seem to work really well for my kid. Best advice I can give is practice with them ahead of time so she is willing to tolerate them. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...&pf_rd_i=507846 Alterian posted:Whats the best way to secure an old style tv and not a flat screen? http://www.amazon.com/Quakehold-4065-TV-Strap/dp/B0000V073O/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1372090027&sr=8-3&keywords=crt+television+strap
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Jun 24, 2013 17:11
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I was beaten on the earthquake straps for tv's. That's what I get for trying to find the as seen on tv ones my mom has from years ago. Here's a random webpage that will give you ideas. http://www.eps-direct.com/earthquake_straps_fasteners.html Also on the ear muff's for kids. I bought these http://www.amazon.com/Hearing-Protection-Earmuffs-Months-Black/dp/B005PNIN1K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372090663&sr=8-1&keywords=4bubs for my baby when we went on a flight. I didn't like the headband strap. It seemed to always fall down over his eyes. I'll get him the peltor's one of these days. Seems like they'd be awesome for fireworks shows and the like.
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Jun 24, 2013 17:18
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 I looked for an earthquake strap for an older style tv on amazon and I couldn't find one. I must have just been searching the wrong terms or something. Thank you. We're in the process of redoing our living room to make it nicer and more baby-friendly.Edit: The older style tv is for our NES and SNES since they don't look good on a flatscreen. We're not total Luddites.
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Jun 24, 2013 17:19
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Mr Darcy posted:What's the consensus on trying to stop a 12 month old from doing something he shouldn't be doing? Alex is getting pretty mobile and has been helpfully pulling himself up on the curtains, which came off the wall, and hitting a single pane glass door with his toys - which despite us having put a layer of safety plastic on the glass he managed to crack it. As he's also fascinated by the TV and although we've put a protective screen in front of it we'd rather try and start teaching him right from wrong. My go to has always been just saying his name in a warning tone, it gets his attention and he'll read the tone so much better than understanding actual words. My husband jokes that he'll grow up thinking Christopher means "no, don't do that." But I agree at 12 months it's a pretty futile effort, you're better off just blocking off everything you don't want him to have access to. And yes, if there's something they get into and want bad enough nothing shy of physically removing them will get them to stop, like Chris when he gets playing in the "indoor sandbox (a.k.a. the litterbox when someone forgets to shut the gate to the mudroom)."
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Jun 24, 2013 17:21
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Lyz posted:
It's funny, but that's what my full name means to me. If someone calls me Jennifer rather than Jenny I immediately feel like I'm being scolded for something.
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Jun 24, 2013 19:14
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The fastest I've ever gotten my oldest daughter's attention was the time I had to pull out both her first AND middle name. Funniest part was she wasn't even in trouble. We were at a family function and she was playing with her second cousin, who is also named Sofia but has a different middle name- so in order to call for just my kid I pulled the middle name card. She jumped to attention faster than I've ever seen.
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Jun 24, 2013 19:23
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Hey there, gentle goons! So about 8 months ago a bunch of things happened at once: we moved across the country, my wife started a new job, we bought a new house, and then our twin girls decided to be born 3 months prematurely. Now the dust has finally settled, so we're trying to figure out how to go about creating a nursery. Neither of us have any real aesthetic, so I was hoping that someone could point us towards a link or two with creative examples about how to set up a room for our little rug rats? I've been trolling google image search for ideas, but I'm curious if there is anything more comprehensive out there. Thanks!
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Jun 24, 2013 20:21
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Melliemel posted:My kid just turned two. She's got the tantrum thing down, and as a rule I don't mind. She's mad because she has the wrong cheese, or she doesn't like her socks, or she wanted to play with the blue crayon, whatever. We fix it and we move it. If you ask her if she wants cheese and she says "No," don't give her cheese 
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Jun 24, 2013 21:08
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New Weave Wendy posted:If you ask her if she wants cheese and she says "No," don't give her cheese My husband thinks I'm being so cruel when I do this, but it's the fastest way for him to learn and that mama doesn't play that way.
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Jun 24, 2013 22:04
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Hot Dog Day #82 posted:Neither of us have any real aesthetic, so I was hoping that someone could point us towards a link or two with creative examples about how to set up a room for our little rug rats? I've been trolling google image search for ideas, but I'm curious if there is anything more comprehensive out there. Thanks! Basically, you probably want Pinterest. You can search for all sorts of different ideas, and collect several different ideas/photographs into 'idea boards'. This is super helpful for me if I like the CONCEPT of a design element or something, but not that particular execution of it because my husband will take it all at face value and then won't get it when I want something to be green and not pink, "but it's pink in the picture". So, you can look through millions of other people's ideas and gather up what you like and go from there. (For the love of god, don't cook any of the recipes)
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Jun 25, 2013 01:27
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Amykinz posted:Basically, you probably want Pinterest. You can search for all sorts of different ideas, and collect several different ideas/photographs into 'idea boards'. This is super helpful for me if I like the CONCEPT of a design element or something, but not that particular execution of it because my husband will take it all at face value and then won't get it when I want something to be green and not pink, "but it's pink in the picture". So, you can look through millions of other people's ideas and gather up what you like and go from there. Pinterest is an amazing idea, I forgot about it entirely! Thanks so much for the help. I am super colorblind so I will be sure to post whatever monstrosity I end up creating
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Jun 25, 2013 01:48
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Did any of your little ones get raspy when teething? C's got the mounds or whatever, right under his gum line, that he didn't have a few days ago, so I'm assuming this is the real deal. He's gotten a bit more whiny but nothing like screaming and not much more than normal, so I don't think it's from his whines (which is what the Internet says it is). Sophie and a frozen baby wash cloth have been my sanity savers today.
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Jun 25, 2013 02:56
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My 5 month old will be growing out of her infant car seat soon. A month ago she was 27" and her car seat is only for babies up to 29". I'm not really sure what to do. I drive a Beetle and my husband has a convertible car seat for his car that can she can use until she's a toddler, but it's way too big to fit rear facing in my car. My backseat is so small the infant car seat barely fits in it. I'd really like to just get a 4 door instead, but if I could afford that I would have done it already because it's a pain in the rear end to crawl back there every time I get her and out. Do I have any options besides never using my car again when I have her with me?
tse1618 fucked around with this message at 11:58 on Jun 25, 2013 |
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Jun 25, 2013 11:53
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Get measurements and find a rear facing carseat that will work by actually going to a physical baby store? They make some pretty compact rear facing seats now. I know people say the Radian (Diono) brand is pretty slim/compact. You might have to drop a few hundred on another carseat, but it's cheaper than buying a new car and not using a car at all. Those are kind of extreme options. Alternative: swap cars with your husband. bamzilla fucked around with this message at 16:02 on Jun 25, 2013 |
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Jun 25, 2013 15:55
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tse1618 posted:My 5 month old will be growing out of her infant car seat soon. A month ago she was 27" and her car seat is only for babies up to 29". I'm not really sure what to do. I drive a Beetle and my husband has a convertible car seat for his car that can she can use until she's a toddler, but it's way too big to fit rear facing in my car. My backseat is so small the infant car seat barely fits in it. I'd really like to just get a 4 door instead, but if I could afford that I would have done it already because it's a pain in the rear end to crawl back there every time I get her and out. Do I have any options besides never using my car again when I have her with me? Car-seat.org is pretty awesome for questions like this. This thread might help you, or you can search for others.
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Jun 25, 2013 15:59
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Thanks for the resources, I'll see what I can find. My husband stays home with Adeline so it's more essential that he can drive her anyway. Mostly I just use my car to get back and forth to work and if we go somewhere as a family we take his car. I'd still like my car as an option though.
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Jun 25, 2013 20:07
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We just have one car as the baby car, since we only have one carseat. You'll need a convertible carseat anyways--no babies last in the bucket seat for 2-4 years 
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Jun 26, 2013 00:07
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When did you guys flip around the rear facing car seat? I've heard basically that you can do it either at age 1/20 pounds or around age 2. My ladies are a ways off from the first milestone, but I'm curious nevertheless!
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Jun 26, 2013 03:12
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You really want to keep the child rear facing until he outgrows the limits on the seat. It's so much safer.
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Jun 26, 2013 03:14
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We flipped at 2 because she figured out how to unclip part of the harness and it was easier to intervene.
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Jun 26, 2013 03:32
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Rearfacing is so much safer that I wouldn't flip them before 2 years unless there was a medical indication. My daughter is still rearfacing at 2 1/2. One of my sons made it to almost-3 and the other was just past 3 before we turned them around.
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Jun 26, 2013 03:37
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