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Werix posted:Though from his stories I've gathered the only things they do in coastal Georgia is smoke crack and have sex with kids. DUI is also a competitive sport.
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Jun 28, 2013 16:11
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Northern Minnesota criminal law stories are particularly depressing and funny. Let's just say that a lot of Northern Minnesota criminal law stories seem to intersect with family law.
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Jun 28, 2013 16:24
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A Game of Chess posted:Yeah, all of my stories from when I was practicing family law are just horrible and depressing. The criminal stories ... also occasionally horrible and depressing, but it's somehow easier to find the humor in it. Probably because only some of them involve children, as opposed to most of them. This is accurate in my experience. Nobody wins in family court, even if you do go to trial and you do win. I had exactly one client I can think of off the top of my head who had a purely positive outcome - she was offered a great new job across the country and filed a relocation petition to take her child with her. Dad was a loser ex-con who bounced around from minimum wage job to minimum wage job. It was a slam dunk case which went to trial (he should have settled), and we won pretty handily. She literally got to fly off into the sunset. The bad cases involve kids being separated from their parent(s), sometimes because the parent is an rear end in a top hat and doesn't want the responsibility, sometimes because they're incapable of being proper parents, and sometimes because they're just nuts. I almost always felt bad for the kids involved, even when I won. With some of these parents, the kids don't stand a chance. Criminal cases can be funny just because criminals often times are total dopes, or the circumstances of their cases are just goofy. My favorite case was when a guy was busted for violating his parole for watching some Woodstock movie. He was a sex offender and the movie had naked people dancing in it in a few parts, and he wasn't allowed to watch porn as part of the terms of his conditional release. I drafted a parole appeal for the ALJ but I left the PD's office before the decision came down. I should call somebody over there and find out what happened. Real goofy stuff.
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Jun 28, 2013 16:33
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I just had a case come through with a sex offender who also wasn't allowed to possess pornography. He goes to his first meeting with probation after sentencing and they find pornographic videos on his phone. His explanation: "I made it myself, so it's okay!" And I know what you mean about the kids not having a chance. There was this one awful home situation where I couldn't even do anything because my boss' client was technically the father, not the kid... That one still keeps me up at night sometimes.
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Jun 28, 2013 16:50
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I got a no porn condition struck down a while back. PDs-- Defending your right to watch porn. God Bless America.
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Jun 28, 2013 17:27
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One of my favourites is a rapper who was charged with assault with a weapon on his porn star girlfriend. The weapon? A bible.
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Jun 28, 2013 17:42
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nm posted:I got a no porn condition struck down a while back. The whole no porn thing has always confused me. As an attorney who doesn't really do any criminal law is there a rational besides the puritanical nature of judges and America to deny sex offenders the nonviolent way to relieve their urges? Is there research or something that says porn trends to lead to recidivism?
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Jun 28, 2013 18:10
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Nitrousoxide posted:The whole no porn thing has always confused me. As an attorney who doesn't really do any criminal law is there a rational besides the puritanical nature of judges and America to deny sex offenders the nonviolent way to relieve their urges? Is there research or something that says porn trends to lead to recidivism? It's the whole school of thought that porn involves the objectification and control of women, and creates a cycle of escalation that eventually leads to action. Kind of the opposite of the school that suggests that porn is a safe-way for people to act out urges that would otherwise be violent or illegal in "real life." Basically, the Ted Bundy theory. I'm not saying I agree with it (it's not like I've thought about it enough to form an intelligent opinion), but I believe that is the reasoning. It's akin, basically, to the violent videogames theory - that you become desensitized and/or seek out the next slightly more violent experience, eventually spilling into real life when the videogames/porn are no longer satisfying enough. The theory is that the repeated exposure to it keeps it in your mind and turns it into an obsession (and also gives you an unhealthy and skewed view of the world - e.g. that violence is without consequence, that most women enjoy being humiliated and degraded). SlyFrog fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Jun 28, 2013 |
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Jun 28, 2013 19:08
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I got a guy house arrest for some cheque frauds and miraculously got him an exception for dog-walking purposes. Because he had a dog that needed to pee, and as an officer of the court I advised that I had in fact met this dog and could vouch for his existence. And since you can't tell a dog how often to pee, he could leave his house within 100m at any time in the direct company of his dog. Which technically means he can chill outside his apartment with the rest of his crew and play ball as long as the dog is tied up there. gently caress trial wins, that was my best slam-dunk ever. quote:DUI is also a competitive sport. I'm kinda blown away that from the five DUIs I have/finished, two of them are guys who blew over 300. Impressive numbers, though I hope to see higher someday.
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Jun 28, 2013 23:43
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E. never mind.
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Jun 29, 2013 00:07
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Time to post the Family Law practice videos again. Female Client Male Client (I feel kinda bad about the female client planning to move to Guam now that I live in the Marianas.)
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Jun 29, 2013 01:43
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Everything I hear says Guam is at least better than CNMI
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Jun 29, 2013 01:51
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nm posted:Everything I hear says Guam is at least better than CNMI When my boss (at the CNMI government) interviewed me, he told me, "Basically, everything you read on saipansucks.com is true." That said, I've been on Saipan for three days and I've already been brought to three barbecues, and my pre-burnt-out status from Legal Aid has allowed me to fit right in.
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Jun 29, 2013 03:11
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echopapa posted:Time to post the Family Law practice videos again. This was... uncomfortably true to life.
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Jun 29, 2013 03:52
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SlyFrog posted:Northern Minnesota criminal law stories are particularly depressing and funny. Let's just say that a lot of Northern Minnesota criminal law stories seem to intersect with family law. You talking Arrowhead or more Thief River Falls area?
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Jun 29, 2013 04:25
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CmdrSmirnoff posted:I'm kinda blown away that from the five DUIs I have/finished, two of them are guys who blew over 300. Impressive numbers, though I hope to see higher someday. Pfft. .300 aint nothing. Up here we have a .700 club, with a plaque and everything. Anything above .4 is notable, sure, but you don't get real recognition until you get above .500 DUIs.
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Jun 29, 2013 10:40
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BigHead posted:Pfft. .300 aint nothing. Up here we have a .700 club, with a plaque and everything. Anything above .4 is notable, sure, but you don't get real recognition until you get above .500 DUIs. Yikes. Highest I've gotten is a .380. Driving straight as an arrow and pulled over for a busted tail light, of course. Edit: Honorable mention to the guy who blew .340 at noon.
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Jun 29, 2013 14:30
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BigHead posted:Pfft. .300 aint nothing. Up here we have a .700 club, with a plaque and everything. Anything above .4 is notable, sure, but you don't get real recognition until you get above .500 DUIs. loving nasty. Were the 5-700s taken via breath or blood samples in hospital? Because that is...a lot of alcohol.
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Jun 29, 2013 14:56
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A Game of Chess posted:This was... uncomfortably true to life. Perfect down to the kids' names.
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Jun 29, 2013 16:40
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BigHead posted:Pfft. .300 aint nothing. Up here we have a .700 club, with a plaque and everything. Anything above .4 is notable, sure, but you don't get real recognition until you get above .500 DUIs. This just tells you how boring Alaska is.
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Jun 29, 2013 17:30
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yronic heroism posted:You talking Arrowhead or more Thief River Falls area? More Thief River Falls. Further north than Arrowhead.
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Jun 29, 2013 23:12
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echopapa posted:Time to post the Family Law practice videos again. "You don't know what you're doing. I saw an ad on TV saying I can get rid of everything I owe the IRS."
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Jun 30, 2013 00:27
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Solid Lizzie posted:Ha. There needs to be a tax one of these. Do these people actually go to see a lawyer though?
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Jun 30, 2013 00:43
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Zarkov Cortez posted:Do these people actually go to see a lawyer though? From what I've learned from this thread, yes.
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Jun 30, 2013 01:03
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Zarkov Cortez posted:Do these people actually go to see a lawyer though?
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Jun 30, 2013 01:15
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Will there be a fantasy football league this year?
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Jul 1, 2013 04:53
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Simulated half day NY part of the exam is gonna be a total poo poo show.
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Jul 1, 2013 06:05
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CmdrSmirnoff posted:Will there be a fantasy football league this year? I don't see why not. Start thinking up clever Hernandez-themed team names, y'all.
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Jul 1, 2013 06:22
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tau posted:I don't see why not. Start thinking up clever Hernandez-themed team names, y'all. Jumping in early to claim "Holocaust Taco Metaphors."
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Jul 1, 2013 06:58
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"Seattle Sounder-commandos"
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Jul 1, 2013 12:19
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Feces Starship posted:YOU RANG CmdrSmirnoff posted:Will there be a fantasy football league this year? As your reigning Law Thread Fantasy Football Champion, I decree that it shall be so 
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Jul 1, 2013 12:40
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LordPants posted:"Seattle Sounder-commandos"
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Jul 1, 2013 14:55
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LordPants posted:"Seattle Sounder-commandos" 
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Jul 1, 2013 19:03
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http://www.reddit.com/r/LawSchool/comments/1hfi3h/zero_l_monday_thread_0ls_post_your_questions/cau1l69 8/10 troll. I'd have gone with a less reputable school.
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Jul 2, 2013 00:36
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A Game of Chess posted:Yeah, all of my stories from when I was practicing family law are just horrible and depressing. The criminal stories ... also occasionally horrible and depressing, but it's somehow easier to find the humor in it. Probably because only some of them involve children, as opposed to most of them.
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Jul 2, 2013 04:46
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two weeks ago the managing partner asked me to brief the loving Affordable Care Act, on top of an my elevated holiday workload. I told him that it would be very time consuming, and that I had family coming in this week. he told me to "burn the midnight oil" and get it to him for his review by July 1. then I found out the other guy in my department was going to be out of town for a wedding most of last week, meaning my already crap workload was effectively doubled. I had to ditch my family for part of the weekend, work a bunch of nights, and piss off a lot the other attorneys who wanted poo poo from me. I sent the memo out to the MP yesterday afternoon, and promptly received an automated response that hr guy would be out of the office all week and wouldn't be checking his email until Monday scored a victory over.
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Jul 2, 2013 16:50
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HEY GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! That loving firm that told me they were going to hire me just told me they're not LOL JK JK JK SORRRY ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!! Can't wait to tell my fiance that they lied to me and that we get to continue living hundreds of miles apart. Recruiter posted:Good and bad news. They couldn't get approval for a hire so the search is on hold. [Partner] is "very disappointed because she thinks you would be an excellent fit with the team". They hope to be able to open the search back up at some point and make the hire, but they wanted you to know so you don't forego other opportunities. Really frustrating, I know. They had me do four interviews, strung me along for two months, and then this? If they didn't know if they were going to be able to make an offer then they shouldn't have told me they were going to. I wouldn't be as upset if they hadn't told me an offer was coming and I hadn't told my fiance that. She's going to be heartbroken by this. Also, "good and bad news"? WHERE THE gently caress IS THE GOOD NEWS IN THAT loving EMAIL?!?!!? HiddenReplaced fucked around with this message at 20:32 on Jul 2, 2013 |
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Jul 2, 2013 20:24
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HiddenReplaced posted:HEY GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! Hey the same poo poo I went through in '07-'08. RECOVERY TIME GUYZ
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Jul 2, 2013 20:41
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HiddenReplaced posted:HEY GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!
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Jul 2, 2013 20:43
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HiddenReplaced posted:HEY GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! Very sorry dude, that's some loving bullshit right there.
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Jul 2, 2013 20:45
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