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Trioculus is best friends with a guy called Grand Moff Bertroff Hissa and their plan is to locate the Glove Of Darth Vader (TM) so Triocolus will receive the "dark blessing" of the Supreme Prophet Of the Dark Side, which will entitle him to Palpatine's throne. Along the way, Trioculus tries to marry Princess Leia in a Dark Side wedding with Hissa reading from the Dark Side Bible (except it's not really Leia, it's a life-like android decoy that attacks him in the middle of the ceremony with its laser vision) and they put their sinister quest on hold so they can go and hunt an endangered species while polluting a planet. Their co-conspirators include a guy with miniature blaster earrings, another guy who looks like Josef Stalin, and another one who looks like Eugene Levy. The same series featured Jabba the Hutt's father, Zorba, a Hutt with dreadlocks.
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Jul 6, 2013 13:01
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Metal Loaf posted:Trioculus is best friends with a guy called Grand Moff Bertroff Hissa and their plan is to locate the Glove Of Darth Vader (TM) so Triocolus will receive the "dark blessing" of the Supreme Prophet Of the Dark Side, which will entitle him to Palpatine's throne. Along the way, Trioculus tries to marry Princess Leia in a Dark Side wedding with Hissa reading from the Dark Side Bible (except it's not really Leia, it's a life-like android decoy that attacks him in the middle of the ceremony with its laser vision) and they put their sinister quest on hold so they can go and hunt an endangered species while polluting a planet. That pretty much sums it up, but since pictures speak louder than words (and I'll take any excuse to post this picture):  THIS IS CANON
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Jul 6, 2013 13:23
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Over the years I think I've matured enough to develop my own personal canon for Star Wars and am able to block out the tremendous amount of poo poo that's out there. I treat all those other terrible stories as if they're from Infinities or whatever that comic series was that does alternate-universe Star Wars stuff.
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Jul 6, 2013 15:46
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thrawn527 posted:That pretty much sums it up, but since pictures speak louder than words (and I'll take any excuse to post this picture): Did you ever get around to sticking your Lets Read of that series in a blog as a shining example of the EU at its more craziest?
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Jul 6, 2013 16:00
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Metal Loaf posted:I guess there's the Tales Of the Jedi comics, which have been collected in omnibus editions by Dark Horse. They're hardly stellar but they're okay for what they are. I started a "let's read" of em a few months ago, but that quickly died.
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Jul 6, 2013 18:29
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Yes, I remember. "ULIIIIIIIIIIIIC! THEY CUT OFF MY AAAARRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMM!"
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Jul 6, 2013 18:43
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Srice posted:It could certainly be worse, spikes all over an outfit is a lot better than being covered with lightsabers for one Spikes? 
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Jul 6, 2013 20:11
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Alright those pics have convinced me I was wrong, mostly by virtue of multiple terrible spiky suits and only one guy who wears armor covered in lightsabers. ...that I know of, at least. I'm sure Wookiepedia would prove me wrong.
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Jul 6, 2013 23:48
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Calax posted:I started a "let's read" of em a few months ago, but that quickly died. The thread got locked by someone, but you could continue in here if you want...
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Jul 6, 2013 23:57
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Srice posted:Alright those pics have convinced me I was wrong, mostly by virtue of multiple terrible spiky suits and only one guy who wears armor covered in lightsabers. Seriously, anyone who hasn't seen it, take a look at this dude. He has lightsaber knees.
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Jul 7, 2013 00:35
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thrawn527 posted:That pretty much sums it up, but since pictures speak louder than words (and I'll take any excuse to post this picture): "I'm sick of these goddamn Star Wars"
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Jul 7, 2013 01:45
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I think I might buy Tale of the Jedi in trades. It might be kinda nuts, but I guess I like the cut of its jib.
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Jul 7, 2013 04:33
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TOTJ is fun if you remember what the EU was like before the prequels. The Jedi are very mystical and stories are far more creative and "out-there". They weren't beholden to any previously established continuity and as a result, they were much more willing to experiment and tell really cool stories. The art design is pretty great too, lots of greebly ships and medieval looking armor and locations. When Dawn of The Jedi was announced, I had really hoped it would be the spiritual successor to TOTJ, but I just couldn't get into it.
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Jul 7, 2013 04:42
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Casimir Radon posted:I think I might buy Tale of the Jedi in trades. It might be kinda nuts, but I guess I like the cut of its jib. I think the whole run is collected in two or three of Dark Horse's Omnibus series. That's probably your best bet - the Omnibus editions were released a few years ago so you can probably get them used pretty cheap by now, and the original trade versions of TOTJ were notoriously hard to find (and expensive) by the time the Omnibus editions came out. Particularly Freedon Nadd Uprising and Redemption, those are basically impossible to get your hands on.
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Jul 7, 2013 05:02
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Chairman Capone posted:I think the whole run is collected in two or three of Dark Horse's Omnibus series. That's probably your best bet - the Omnibus editions were released a few years ago so you can probably get them used pretty cheap by now, and the original trade versions of TOTJ were notoriously hard to find (and expensive) by the time the Omnibus editions came out. Particularly Freedon Nadd Uprising and Redemption, those are basically impossible to get your hands on. I picked up the Dawn of the Jedi novel tie in on audio, I'm going to give it a shot. One of the nice things about Audible is the option to return something if you don't like it, which I'm planning on doing when I hate-along with Crucible next week.
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Jul 7, 2013 05:20
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IMO, the best of the trades is probably Dark Lords of the Sith. Sith war is just weird (with Cthulu president of the senate)
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Jul 7, 2013 06:09
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Big Mean Jerk posted:TOTJ is fun if you remember what the EU was like before the prequels. The Jedi are very mystical and stories are far more creative and "out-there". They weren't beholden to any previously established continuity and as a result, they were much more willing to experiment and tell really cool stories. The art design is pretty great too, lots of greebly ships and medieval looking armor and locations. When Dawn of The Jedi was announced, I had really hoped it would be the spiritual successor to TOTJ, but I just couldn't get into it. I still imagine the Star Wars galaxy to be like this, just farther back. A thousand years before Exar Kun or something, then things started to look a lot more Kotor-y.
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Jul 7, 2013 06:49
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One I the main issues with TOTJ is that it wasn't released as an ongoing comic, but rather as a collection of miniseries. Like Dark Empire, this has the consequence of making everything feel like it's a bit rushed. I would say Redemption is the exception, though, since it has a smaller cast and covers events occurring over a shorter period of time.
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Jul 7, 2013 08:56
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I lovehate all of the dumb ways Star Wars EU authors come up with to avoid using real-life curses in an effort to keep their stuff rated PG. "Sithspawn!" "Emperor's black bones!" "Sleemo!"
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Jul 7, 2013 09:02
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SeanBeansShako posted:Did you ever get around to sticking your Lets Read of that series in a blog as a shining example of the EU at its more craziest? I did not, I kind of let it die with that thread. It may still be worth doing at some point, as the thread is still there in archives, but it's more difficult now because a lot of the pictures aren't showing up anymore.
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Jul 7, 2013 14:13
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thrawn527 posted:I did not, I kind of let it die with that thread. It may still be worth doing at some point, as the thread is still there in archives, but it's more difficult now because a lot of the pictures aren't showing up anymore. Awww, a drat shame. I'm sure some goon still has the books and a scanner if we've lost Throb. Also, yeah EU PG curses are silly. Especially since real PG rated ones were used in the movies are are a lot more impressive. On the subject, gently caress the words Bantha Poodoo. Stupidest collection of words in Star Wars and that really is saying something.
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Jul 7, 2013 15:02
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I've been running some of the premade adventures for the new Fantasy Flight Star Wars RPG for my friends, and the fake curse they seem to like is "kriffing." Just terrible.
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Jul 7, 2013 18:58
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Stang, anyone?
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Jul 8, 2013 03:45
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If anyone's jonesing for more Glove of Darth Vader, a guy on TheForce.Net is doing his own readthrough of the whole series, and I think he's doing a pretty fun job of it. He just finished the third book: http://boards.theforce.net/threads/join-me-and-achieve-perfection-a-reread-of-the-glove-of-darth-vader.50011595/
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Jul 8, 2013 03:49
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Cru Jones posted:Stang, anyone? There's also "kark". As in, "kark on you".
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Jul 8, 2013 10:23
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Can't forget Fierfek! No matter how hard you try.
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Jul 8, 2013 10:27
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And if Sithspawn is just a wee bit to racy with that whole "Spawn" thing There's always sithspit.
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Jul 8, 2013 15:30
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Well it does avoid having writers try to shoehorn even worse explanations for why Han Solo says "See you in hell!" when there probably isn't Christianity in the Star Wars galaxy or the god awful, "Are you an angel?" dialog from Episode I.
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Jul 8, 2013 15:33
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Didn't TCW actually have Anakin go to the planets Heaven and Hell? So yes, in all official Star Wars media there's something worse than the EU in some way.
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Jul 8, 2013 15:38
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cptn_dr posted:Can't forget Fierfek! At least that one is ostensibly a different language (its Huttese for 'poison').
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Jul 8, 2013 18:45
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jivjov posted:At least that one is ostensibly a different language (its Huttese for 'poison'). Most of these curses are apparently Huttese, according to Wookieepedia. Stoopa sleemo. 
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Jul 8, 2013 18:57
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If nothing else, I did enjoy the explanation of why 'poison' is a Huttese curse. Since its so notoriously difficult to poison a Hutt due to their digestive system giving zero fucks about what's ingested into it, anything that actually could poison a Hutt is seriously nasty.
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Jul 8, 2013 19:15
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Calax posted:And if Sithspawn is just a wee bit to racy with that whole "Spawn" thing I got my hands on that Book of Sith thing, and it turns out Sithspawn are just Sith alchemy monsters. Because we needed an explanation for that, you see.
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Jul 9, 2013 00:27
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... I know this is a "books" thread, but apparently the guys at Squeenix want to put Star Wars in their next Kingdom Hearts game.
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Jul 9, 2013 00:36
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That was actually one of the first things I thought of when news of the Disney buyout happened. That, and Star Wars characters appearing on Once Upon a Time.
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Jul 9, 2013 02:23
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Chairman Capone posted:That was actually one of the first things I thought of when news of the Disney buyout happened. That, and Star Wars characters appearing on Once Upon a Time. I am so down for this. I really am ready to embrace disney running this poo poo into the ground. I would love a marvel/star wars tie in. The stuff Patton Oswalt says during his filibuster on Parks and Rec sounded just fine to me
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Jul 9, 2013 11:37
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Well, they've already had Mark Hamill doing voicework for Kingdom Hearts so that'd make part of it easier on them!
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Jul 9, 2013 12:17
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I made an account on TheForce.net like ten years ago and haven't touched it since I was a teenager. Until a few days ago, when I decided to wander in to a thread about how good Vol 1. of Legacy is. It has now devolved into some terrible conversation about Kotor 2 and how complexity is a bad thing. "STAR WARS IS ONLY ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL AND NOTHING ELSE." Now I see why I don't really delve into the fandom anymore. It has arguably more manchildren than Star Trek.
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Jul 9, 2013 12:20
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Legacy is really really dumb, though.myself, in an earlier time posted:It's an example of everything that's wrong with modern Star Wars EU. VAGENDA OF MANOCIDE fucked around with this message at 13:28 on Jul 9, 2013 |
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Jul 9, 2013 13:18
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What is the one thing it got right in that post?
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Jul 9, 2013 16:25
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