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Wouldn't the bear's second wish make the bear female? Then the bear's last wish and the rabbit's last wish would pretty much be the same thing?
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Jun 11, 2013 12:46
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Captain Trips posted:Wouldn't the bear's second wish make the bear female? Then the bear's last wish and the rabbit's last wish would pretty much be the same thing?  The bear's second wish would make all of the male bears transgendered
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Jun 11, 2013 15:18
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PYF Hilarious Pedantic Quibbles
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Jun 11, 2013 15:48
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Mr Havafap posted:I want to like this joke about a bear doing The Dickest Move, but it's not logical: if poo poo doesn't stick to rabbit fur what's the point? Wouldn't it be like trying to wipe with cellophane or something? I always read it as the bear deciding that the rabbit wouldn't have any difficulty getting the poo poo off later.
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Jun 12, 2013 17:48
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I'm pretty sure the bear's interpretation is that the rabbit doesn't MIND getting poo poo on his fur. What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? Two large plains post-apocalyptic erotica has a new favorite as of 18:13 on Jun 12, 2013 |
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Jun 12, 2013 17:55
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Ben Murphy has a new favorite as of 13:52 on Sep 20, 2014 |
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Jun 13, 2013 06:38
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grady posted:You heartless bastard, I was actually in the World Trade Center on 9/11. Pretty sure no one was in the WTC in 2011.
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Jun 13, 2013 06:59
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Ben Murphy has a new favorite as of 13:40 on Sep 20, 2014 |
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Jun 13, 2013 07:01
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I'm just in awe of the fact that you can remember what date in 1985 you visited the World Trade Center.
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Jun 13, 2013 17:56
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I'm sure he only remembered it at the time because it was 41 years to the day after his grandfather fell out of that guard tower.
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Jun 13, 2013 18:53
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EdibleBodyParts posted:Pretty sure no one was in the WTC in 2011.
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Jun 13, 2013 19:10
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A penguin walks into a bar and says to the bartender "have you seen my brother today?" and the bartender says "yeah" and the penguin goes "how could you tell?"
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Jun 13, 2013 20:57
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steve cardigan posted:I'm pretty sure the bear's interpretation is that the rabbit doesn't MIND getting poo poo on his fur. Christopher Alive
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Jun 13, 2013 22:35
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Ben Murphy has a new favorite as of 13:39 on Sep 20, 2014 |
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Jun 13, 2013 23:25
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The latest drink in the party scene is called Purple Jesus. It's ginger ale, grape juice, vodka, and a whole lot of re and blue food coloring. The reason it's called that is because the morning after, you wake up, go to the bathroom, look down, and go "Purple! Jesus!"
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Jun 17, 2013 02:40
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A man was walking down the street when he noticed a pony pulling a small cart with an old man aboard. The old man driving the cart seemed oblivious that the pony was wheezing and coughing rather hard. The man on the street hailed the old man, and asked if the pony was alright. To which the old man replied, "Aye, he's just a little hoarse."
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Jun 17, 2013 02:51
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There once was a girl from Purdue Whose limericks stopped at line two. There once was a man from Verdun. ...and I'm sure you've all heard the one about Nero.
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Jul 10, 2013 03:44
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Occultatio posted:There once was a man from Verdun. Don't get either of these.
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Jul 10, 2013 03:57
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Captain Trips posted:Don't get either of these. Verdun --- One Nero --- Zero
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Jul 10, 2013 04:02
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Tater Tot 13 posted:Verdun --- One Oh, I heard Verdun as a play on "we're done" and then the joke immediately ends.
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Jul 10, 2013 04:14
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What do you call five Canadian yarmulkes? A pentatoque Edit: does anyone know any jokes about recursion?
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Jul 12, 2013 04:50
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Is the punchline a pun, or just a play on the toque?
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Jul 12, 2013 05:03
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Captain Trips posted:Is the punchline a pun, or just a play on the toque? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentateuch
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Jul 12, 2013 05:27
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Mescal posted:What do you call five Canadian yarmulkes? I don't. Try this guy I know, I know
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Jul 12, 2013 09:46
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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It got hit by a refrigerator Why did the boy fall of his bike? He got hit by five monkies and a refrigerator
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Jul 12, 2013 10:59
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Whats big, white, and cant climb trees? A fridge Whats big, white and CAN climb trees? A fridge, I was lying about it climbing trees. Whats big, white and tartan and cant climb trees? Rupert the fridge
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Jul 12, 2013 11:20
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What's white and comes in pints? Milk. What's black and comes in pints? Guinness. What's grey and comes in pints? An elephant.
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Jul 12, 2013 14:53
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Occultatio posted:There once was a girl from Purdue There once was a man from Japan Whose limericks never would scan They started off fine But at the last line They went all crazy and didn't even rhyme or anything.
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Jul 12, 2013 15:56
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Mescal posted:What do you call five Canadian yarmulkes? I like my recursion like I like my recursion:
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Jul 12, 2013 16:23
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How do you keep an idiot busy for hours? Check my next post.
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Jul 12, 2013 22:17
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How do you keep an idiot busy for hours? Check my previous post.
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Jul 12, 2013 22:18
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There was an old man From Peru, whose lim'ricks all Looked like haiku. He Said with a laugh "I Cut them in half, the pay is Much better for two."
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Jul 12, 2013 23:09
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My mate is a brewery worker, and he died in the vat. It's my fault, really. he came up for air five times, and I said gently caress him.
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Jul 19, 2013 15:26
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Tias posted:My mate is a brewery worker, and he died in the vat. It's my fault, really. Is this an actual joke or some kind of anti-joke
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Jul 19, 2013 16:54
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tehloki posted:Is this an actual joke or some kind of anti-joke I think that's a poor attempt at telling this one; "Did ye hear about Joe O'Shaunessy? He fell into a brewing vat at the Guinness plant and drowned. Me mates tried to pull him out, but he fought us off bravely!"
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Jul 19, 2013 17:59
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Or the longer form from this or an earlier thread: ---- Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya." "Of course you can come in. You're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, no Brenda, no." "No?" "Fact is, he got out three times to pee."
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Jul 19, 2013 18:17
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What do you call a rape accusation that goes to trial twice? Rechargeable sexual battery
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Jul 19, 2013 19:11
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Rasamune posted:What do you call a rape accusation that goes to trial twice? What do you call an New Zealand animal rape accusation that goes to trial twice? Double shepherdy What do you call a rape accusation that doesn't go to trial? A serious and all-too-common tragedy in this unjust modern world Mescal has a new favorite as of 21:40 on Jul 19, 2013 |
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Jul 19, 2013 21:35
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How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick him up and blow him.
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Jul 20, 2013 02:07
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And on a related note, what do you do if a pit bull humps your leg? Fake an orgasm.
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Jul 20, 2013 10:02
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