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NoUU posted:Not your usual STDH. Do I want to know what they mean by 'fae' in that story? Do they mean like, fairies? Or like, some girl he was stalking named Fae? The bottom of the previous page posted:A little over four years ago, I was working in QA at a large publisher testing a music title of note. We were working 7 AM to 7 PM Monday through Friday, and 7 AM to 4 PM on Saturday for about four months straight. Truly farts are the most devastating weapons of destruction. (Also, the person that wrote this thinking it made them look cool is a loving moron) CJacobs has a new favorite as of 08:58 on Jul 24, 2013 |
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Jul 24, 2013 08:56
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I found a pretty nice goldmine of STDH: http://experienceproject.com It's basically an entire website unabashedly full of poo poo that didn't happen to people. Here's a pretty choice example entitled "I Got Caught Naked - Lost Bikini Top" meganxxo posted:Me and my girlfriend were hanging out like we do every year for two weeks at her parents really beach house. It is awesome! I just graduated college ! Took five years, sorry! So this was my third year in school..Anyway, Ashley's brother, who is beyond hot and never gave me the time of day, and I went down to the beach, the house was a few blocks away, so we just walked down with a bag of waters, three chairs and threw our phones in the bag and went in the water, which was really cold! So Ashley and Seth left and went and sat on the beach. Oh hey let me tell you about this time when I, Totally A Girl, accidentally exposed my breasts!!! It even comes complete with the "and now we're dating" cliché. The best part is that the author teases to post the "photo show"  . It reads so much like a stupid erotic fantasy, there's pretty much no way this is real.
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Jul 24, 2013 09:14
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My Life as a Teen Comedy Movie Protagonist: The I'm Totally a Girl You Guys, Really Story
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Jul 24, 2013 09:18
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Rhizoids posted:It reads so much like a stupid erotic fantasy, there's pretty much no way this is real. Yeah the way the author keeps going on about little boobies it's quite clear it's all one big wank fantasy, and the actual author even gets the made-up girl at the end. Truly a touching story!
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Jul 24, 2013 09:25
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sticklefifer posted:Not saying this didn't or couldn't happen, but there's no loving way it happened the way this guy claims it did: WriterMan to the rescue! Or should it be PenMan, so he can...never mind, I'll stop. Look at the underlying theme. "I'm such a good guy I can totally feel what it's like to be a woman. All because...I'm a writer. I'm a writer so it should automatically get me Cool Guy points with any and all females. I can relate to you about my courageous defense of a woman, because I'm a writer and I know how it feels to be a woman. I'm not saying you can't understand women, but I'm a writer." This screams STDH, not only because it's cliched, but because of what it is meant to do: drive traffic to his site, in hope of making sales for his latest literary extravaganza. It hits all the right notes, in just the right order, in such a way as to permit others to live vicariously through his brave defense of the Fair Sex. He was so courageous! Why, that man might have had muscles! A detail which, incidentally, speaks volumes about the general condition of Our Hero. At the end, instead of sweet matrimony, she can only whisper a 'thank you' to our valiant writer. Truly, a man to admire, an example for us all of our Better Self. Here's what happened. He got on BART, saw a cute girl, and all the way to his stop in Livermore fantasized what she was like under those filmy, diaphenous clothes, the ones that made her so delectable on a hot July day. Also on the train was a muscular man coming back from a day of manual labor. He, too, cast the occasional glace at the girl, then got off at his stop. For the rest of the trip our writer rolled the idea of a topical scene through his head, went home, played games, until he worked out the story to his benefit. And now he's being rewarded by the Internet.
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Jul 24, 2013 10:05
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CJacobs posted:Do I want to know what they mean by 'fae' in that story? Do they mean like, fairies? Or like, some girl he was stalking named Fae? Remember how when Pirates of the Caribbean came out, all the pirate stuff was trendy in fashion? Like skulls and scarves? And how when Twilight's movie came out, it was all about dressing like you went to a high school in the northwest with skinny jeans and large green parkas? And there was more IRL STDH.txt with people claiming to be vampires? And there was a surge of wolf otherkin bullshit? Well, "The Host" came out this year and so did "Beautiful Creatures". I think there's a new Percy Jackson movie. So, prepper stuff is now going to be trendier, and maybe tech gear (the movie's not really based on those trends at all though, it was written way back before Twilight). With "Beautiful Creatures", get ready for people romanticizing the South and magic and stuff again. Percy Jackson is a thing with a fandom, and it's about a teenager with powers. With all that is going to come lovely fandoms, and with that's going to come more loving STDH based on fairies and magick and stuff. "I totally healed myself magically", "I'm a 5/10 usually but I put on my Glamour Magicks and attracted Justin Bieber's attention!", "I was walking at night and saw a tall shadowy thing with tendrils, but then my own tendrils appeared out of nowhere and beat his tentacle things up! Ha-HA!"
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Jul 24, 2013 10:12
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Rhizoids posted:I found a pretty nice goldmine of STDH: http://experienceproject.com This is genuinely nauseating. Why would anyone believe a real person would talk about themself this way, especially the "my little rack!!" junk.
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Jul 24, 2013 10:18
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Seth is the goatse guy and she wrote in his butt.
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Jul 24, 2013 10:30
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moerketid posted:This is genuinely nauseating. Why would anyone believe a real person would talk about themself this way, especially the "my little rack!!" junk. They went to the beach, but no one brought a towel. To the beach. And none of the guys were wearing a shirt she could borrow. Sure.
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Jul 24, 2013 10:34
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Khazar-khum posted:Look at the underlying theme. "I'm such a good guy I can totally feel what it's like to be a woman. All because...I'm a writer. I'm a writer so it should automatically get me Cool Guy points with any and all females. I can relate to you about my courageous defense of a woman, because I'm a writer and I know how it feels to be a woman. I'm not saying you can't understand women, but I'm a writer." Christ. I'm a writer too, but there are many, many times when I have to tell my peers "Stop being such a loving writer". If I knew that guy, this would be one of those times. Basically, writers are liars. Sometimes if we're lucky we're even paid to be. But we're supposed to be good liars. If this actually happened to me, I wouldn't be blogging about what a good guy I am for rescuing the damsel in distress, then be vehemently defending myself and continuously shaming anyone who doesn't believe me. If anything, I'd have written a social commentary piece on the behavior I observed, or a story about something I witnessed objectively rather than a self-insert/Mary Sue who swooped in for the rescue. If he were actually any kind of feminist (which I'm sure he believes he is), he would've refrained from describing the girl's appearance at all. More likely some chunky PUA neckbeard hit on a relatively plain girl (and who knows what she was reading because it was on her Kindle), and she told him to gently caress off while the author looked on from a few rows back, mentally masturbating about How This Scenario Could Be Better. Besides, when you're writing deliberately flowery prose, you should consciously avoid blatant stereotypes. Dude's just not that talented in the first place.
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Jul 24, 2013 10:39
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DrHerpington posted:Remember how when Pirates of the Caribbean came out, all the pirate stuff was trendy in fashion? Like skulls and scarves? And how when Twilight's movie came out, it was all about dressing like you went to a high school in the northwest with skinny jeans and large green parkas? And there was more IRL STDH.txt with people claiming to be vampires? And there was a surge of wolf otherkin bullshit? Oh, so it's loving retarded. I guess I'm not surprised! Thanks!
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Jul 24, 2013 11:37
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Rhizoids posted:
I like to imagine that this was actually a hefty bi dude going on and on about his adowable widdle biddy tiddies and how all his customers desire his calendar moobs.
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Jul 24, 2013 14:17
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The worst part of that writer nonsense is that he double spaces after periods.
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Jul 24, 2013 16:25
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Henchman of Santa posted:The worst part of that writer nonsense is that he double spaces after periods. Apparently that's a thing, because my boss insist that we do that in all official documents. I was under the impression that that went out of style back around Office 2003.
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Jul 24, 2013 16:27
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Henchman of Santa posted:The worst part of that writer nonsense is that he double spaces after periods. I edited a short story for a kid who wanted to be a writer and did this. Didn't know what the gently caress until I found out he was homeschooled and his mother told him that was the correct way to space things. Apparently she learned it from typing class way back in the day.
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Jul 24, 2013 16:34
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I'm old, but not THAT old, and we were taught to double space after periods.
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Jul 24, 2013 16:35
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Leon Einstein posted:I'm old, but not THAT old, and we were taught to double space after periods. Our teachers told us to do the same thing. In my infinite wisdom, however, I berated the sap for pushing an antiquated form of sentence writing by shouting "END OF STORY, PERIOD. NOT PERIOD SPACE SPACE" at which point the teacher fled the room and immediately retired and forfeited his pension while the whole room burst into applause. The teacher's wife who happened to be sitting in the class room complimented me, divorced her husband and we were married by the end of the year. Or, in reality, my teacher said that they used to do that, but they don't anymore because it looks dumb, especially since the double space method was used for typewriters and their fixed spacing. Then he went back to his lesson which was basically "Quit trying to make your lovely essays look longer by using 24pt font and widening the line spacing and adding extra spaces everywhere, also cite your sources or its plagiarism"
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Jul 24, 2013 16:57
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Less style guide, more making fun of that rear end in a top hat! I don't like him.
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Jul 24, 2013 17:00
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Tumblr time.    Witty answers to a doctor always strike me as fake  Tumblr really wants to live in a John Green novel. 
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Jul 24, 2013 17:14
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Bonk posted:If he were actually any kind of feminist (which I'm sure he believes he is), he would've refrained from describing the girl's appearance at all. The best part of his description is that he tries to hide behind it being his uncles description of the girl or some poo poo.
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Jul 24, 2013 17:18
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I dated a guy who cultivated that "writer, poet, enlightened" persona and ugh god it was basically the worst thing ever. He was a walking STDH factory and "Whovianism is a way of life" guy so he fits the thread in multiple ways! He decided that he was going to change his major to creative writing so that he could become a college professor one day. I asked him why, and he put his chin in his hands, solemnly looked up at me, and said, "Because someone needs to teach them." He went on to explain that kids these days only like crap like Twilight and that they needed someone to guide them towards good literature. But this is the man whose only writing was a half-formed idea for a book series called "Li'l Cthulhu," which was supposed to be a children's book series about Cthulhu doing cute things. I was like, oh, so it's a book for adults in children's lit style, like "All My Friends Are Dead"? No, no, he insisted. It was to help kids not be afraid of Cthulhu. Because if he could help children realize that monsters weren't so scary, well.... he'd done his job. Okayyyyy, but... what little kid is just organically afraid of Cthulhu? Unless their parents read them the mythos and intentionally expose them to the concept, no little kid of going to come crying to you in the middle of the night about Cthulhu. I suggested he just make it a generic (or even, what a concept, an ORIGINAL!) monster, but he insisted that it had to be Cthulhu. For Nerd Cred. The only thing missing was the feminism. He had that whole "I'm an equalist, not a feminist. Men have it bad too, you know." stance that I wish I had been knowledgeable and outspoken enough at the time to deconstruct. He told me that he modeled his views about feminism on a speech he had heard while in the military. Let me just transcribe that for you here. A female military officer came to speak to them at an assembly, and she had this to say: "So, to the women here: You want equality? Then shut up about feminism. Stop asking for privileges and start earning them. I earned everything that I have, and I never once complained about sexism. So if you want sexism to go away: stop talking about it." He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, then shrugged as if he had just checkmated me. It made me so angry but I wasn't assertive enough to keep arguing with him about it, and he just kept countering me with, "Well, a woman said it, so...." Ugh.  He also modeled his life and loves around Doctor Who, and when we broke up he changed his name and decided that he had regenerated! I was his "Rose." Where's that emote that looks like it's ashamed, ah yes 
Double Plus Good has a new favorite as of 17:49 on Jul 24, 2013 |
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Jul 24, 2013 17:44
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Jesus Christ how could you possibly date someone like that? How could you even get past the first date and not tell him to gently caress off?
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Jul 24, 2013 18:37
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big mean giraffe posted:Jesus Christ how could you possibly date someone like that? How could you even get past the first date and not tell him to gently caress off? You know how sometimes you need to go through a really bad relationship to realize your self-worth? Yeah, that.  Looking back on it, it's absurd how many red flags were overlooked or explained away by optimistic naivety. I was also lacking that one really opinionated, outspoken friend who will slap some sense into you, so it dragged on for quite a while, I'm ashamed to say. He also claimed to have Tourette's, schizophrenia, and synesthesia, among many other "out there" medical things. I talked about it way back in the thread, but disproving people's extremely personal STDH is almost impossible, especially by someone who is trying to be nice and avoid realizing that she is dating a crazy person.
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Jul 24, 2013 18:48
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Double Plus Good posted:I dated a guy who cultivated that "writer, poet, enlightened" persona and ugh god it was basically the worst thing ever. He was a walking STDH factory and "Whovianism is a way of life" guy so he fits the thread in multiple ways! In Ask/Tell, there's a thread for your experiences with people like this, it's called "Ask me about growing with a girl who thinks shes married to anime guys". It's an never ending pit of  . You should share some stories there if you feel up to it.
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Jul 24, 2013 19:01
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angelfisher posted:
Here is todays temp, *unzips pants.
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Jul 24, 2013 19:01
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Flaggy posted:Here is todays temp, *unzips pants. It's only 1 1/2" out, you might want to take a jacket.
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Jul 24, 2013 19:25
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This heartwarming STDH just appeared on my Facebook wall
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Jul 24, 2013 22:22
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Last week I was waiting in front of the grocery store and saw an ancient lady loading groceries into her car. She literally had a hunchback and appeared to be struggling so I walked over and asked her if she wanted help. She said "no, get away from me". Basically what I'm saying is I wish I lived in STDH land, I could use $40. 
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Jul 24, 2013 22:45
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"One time, my son was so high that he just slept the whole afternoon on his friend's couch. He came home so late, that he had to make up this story about how he helped an old lady with her groceries."
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Jul 25, 2013 00:12
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Bonk posted:Christ. I'm a writer too, but there are many, many times when I have to tell my peers "Stop being such a loving writer". If I knew that guy, this would be one of those times. He's a Writer, not a writer. Big difference. And yes, agents, editors, people in the industry hate Writers. These are the people who hand out business cards that say, 'Joe Shmonson, WRITER' when he's never been published anywhere. Most Writers at SF cons are chunky PUA neckbeards. At one time the standard Writer uniform was turtleneck, jacket(tweed or corduroy preferred) and, yes, fedora. They have that arch, precious speech pattern that is the hallmark of the STDH we're seeing here. Most of our STDH are examples of their deathless prose.
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Jul 25, 2013 01:31
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Khazar-khum posted:He's a Writer, not a writer. Big difference. And yes, agents, editors, people in the industry hate Writers. These are the people who hand out business cards that say, 'Joe Shmonson, WRITER' when he's never been published anywhere. Most Writers at SF cons are chunky PUA neckbeards. At one time the standard Writer uniform was turtleneck, jacket(tweed or corduroy preferred) and, yes, fedora. They have that arch, precious speech pattern that is the hallmark of the STDH we're seeing here. Most of our STDH are examples of their deathless prose. Does getting reposted in stdh on sa count as a fiction publication though?
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Jul 25, 2013 01:35
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xxEightxx posted:Does getting reposted in stdh on sa count as a fiction publication though? It's more like fan fiction, so no. Khazar-khum has a new favorite as of 01:45 on Jul 25, 2013 |
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Jul 25, 2013 01:43
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Khazar-khum posted:He's a Writer, not a writer. Big difference. And yes, agents, editors, people in the industry hate Writers. These are the people who hand out business cards that say, 'Joe Shmonson, WRITER' when he's never been published anywhere. Most Writers at SF cons are chunky PUA neckbeards. At one time the standard Writer uniform was turtleneck, jacket(tweed or corduroy preferred) and, yes, fedora. They have that arch, precious speech pattern that is the hallmark of the STDH we're seeing here. Most of our STDH are examples of their deathless prose. Not all Writers are like that 
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Jul 25, 2013 02:52
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Writer Cath posted:Not all Writers are like that Notice the capital W. Artists can be like that too. My dad does some publishing work from home (Graphic design and layout for small local publishing houses, that kind of poo poo) and we got to deal with plenty of Writers and Artists over the years, it's always an exercise in frustration. "Yeah so after thinking about it, that cover we spent all day yesterday working on might not really represent the overarching themes of the piece, could you try to change the sled to a more emotional shade of red and have the tree roots be visible through the earth? If you could add a few flying birds... Do you think we could get the printer to do the birds in foil?" Sure, let's do foil on a print run of 2000 copies, that's going to be cost efficient. You see these people in any business really. They're the guys that are more concerned about ~The Integrity of the Process~ than about finishing a drat thing that'll actually turn a profit. Not that the other extreme is good either, but when you don't have that balance, goddamn.
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Jul 25, 2013 03:00
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FrozenVent posted:Notice the capital W. Much like the difference between "nice guy" and "Nice Guy". Incidentally, that Writer seems to be the latter. Das Boo posted:I like to imagine that this was actually a hefty bi dude going on and on about his adowable widdle biddy tiddies and how all his customers desire his calendar moobs. On a related note, Calendar Moobs will be the name of my new shoegaze band.
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Jul 25, 2013 03:07
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Double Plus Good posted:He also modeled his life and loves around Doctor Who You know, it always seems to be insufferable people who think watching a tv show is substitute for becoming cultured and educated, and/or giant misogynists who think Doctor Who is some kind of bible for a way to live, which is hilarious because, ya know, that's the literal opposite of like 9/10ths of the show's morals. Like, I'm a huge Doctor Who nerd, so I run into these types a lot. How do they not understand that the entire point of what makes the Doctor an intellectual and moral authority in the story is that he's lived for thousands of years and explored the universe and respects every culture and blah blah blah. If you for some pathetic reason think a tv show is a guide to life how do you take that message and go 'yea I should just watch TV all day and hate women'?
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Jul 25, 2013 05:02
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Tatum Girlparts posted:Like, I'm a huge Doctor Who nerd, so I run into these types a lot. How do they not understand that the entire point of what makes the Doctor an intellectual and moral authority in the story is that he's lived for thousands of years and explored the universe and respects every culture and blah blah blah. If you for some pathetic reason think a tv show is a guide to life how do you take that message and go 'yea I should just watch TV all day and hate women'? Forgive me for the neophyte view, as I only started watching with the reboot and inconsistently at that, but isn't the Doctor a [i]incredibly[i] bad entity to model your intellectual and moral authority? Isn't the point of the companions to be a humanizing aspect, to be the moral compass and show that for all of the Doctor's knowledge he is far from an intellectual authority in that he's so far removed from the people he interacts with on a per episode basis?
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Jul 25, 2013 07:47
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 The only true part is that he probably is an rear end in a top hat about it when people say "God bless".
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Jul 25, 2013 07:50
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Not only that, but if the story is true then she's likely mentally ill, but her faith is his bigger concern just so he can feel superior. 
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Jul 25, 2013 08:06
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So her story was bogus and she was lying to get money because she's a lazy poor, but then refused to take the money she was lying about needing anyway because her convictions are just that strong?
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Jul 25, 2013 09:16
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