terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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FamDav: Mar 29, 2008

Lisp is a homo lang

# ? Jul 29, 2013 00:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 11:52

double sulk: Jul 2, 2010

quote:

For example below we translate to the point (500px, 200px), rotate by 180deg, scale by .5, skew, and alter colors within a 2 second duration. Once the animation is complete we then() fade out the element by setting the opacity to 0, and shrink it with scale(0.1).
code:
move('.square')
  .to(500, 200)
  .rotate(180)
  .scale(.5)
  .set('background-color', '#888')
  .set('border-color', 'black')
  .duration('2s')
  .skew(50, -10)
  .then()
    .set('opacity', 0)
    .duration('0.3s')
    .scale(0.1)
    .pop()
  .end();

# ? Jul 29, 2013 01:24

weird: Jun 4, 2012; by zen death robot

the little schemer doesn't go very deep into the language, it's more of an introduction to functional programming through lisp than an introduction to lisp. it's a lot of fun tho and reading it first makes parts of sicp easier to follow

# ? Jul 29, 2013 01:30

weird: Jun 4, 2012; by zen death robot

i think call/cc gets introduced somewhere in the seasoned shcemer

# ? Jul 29, 2013 01:34

Stringent: Dec 22, 2004; image text goes here

FamDav posted:

Lisp is a homo lang

why do you think the largest collection of emacs users on the planet is in san francisco?

# ? Jul 29, 2013 01:36

coffeetable: Feb 5, 2006; TELL ME AGAIN HOW GREAT BRITAIN WOULD BE IF IT WAS RULED BY THE MERCILESS JACKBOOT OF PRINCE CHARLES

YES I DO TALK TO PLANTS ACTUALLY

e: no-one cares

coffeetable fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Jul 29, 2013

# ? Jul 29, 2013 03:42

weird: Jun 4, 2012; by zen death robot

coffeetable posted:

no-one cares

# ? Jul 29, 2013 04:07

uG: Apr 23, 2003; by Ralp

if you were going to kill yourself using something controlled by a programming language, what language would you choose? would you try and be ironic about it in your death and use an excel macro to start a power drill laid over your heart while you sleep? would you use php so you would die from ridicule during the process?

# ? Jul 30, 2013 17:12

double sulk: Jul 2, 2010

i would use java so i could get collected with the rest of the garbage

# ? Jul 30, 2013 17:17

Zaxxon: Feb 14, 2004; Wir Tanzen Mekanik

I would use C++ and blow my whole leg off.

# ? Jul 30, 2013 17:48

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

i would use perl so nobody would understand why i did it

# ? Jul 30, 2013 17:50

uG: Apr 23, 2003; by Ralp

use perl6 so you can live an additional 10 years

# ? Jul 30, 2013 17:53

Posting Principle: Dec 10, 2011; by Ralp

use ruby and make the front page of hn

# ? Jul 30, 2013 17:56

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

i would use haskell so i would decompose easily

# ? Jul 30, 2013 17:58

Posting Principle: Dec 10, 2011; by Ralp

we're hiring full-stack engineers to help disrupt big suicide

# ? Jul 30, 2013 18:00

Posting Principle: Dec 10, 2011; by Ralp

come build beautiful suicides with death.ly

# ? Jul 30, 2013 18:00

FamDav: Mar 29, 2008

if i did it i would use c so i could just goto theEnd.

# ? Jul 30, 2013 18:07

FamDav: Mar 29, 2008

if i did it i would use smalltalk so i could pass a few messages before i went

# ? Jul 30, 2013 18:08

Corla Plankun: May 8, 2007; improve the lives of everyone

it depends on if it was a cry for help or i just wanted to get it done

# ? Jul 30, 2013 18:40

qntm: Jun 17, 2009

uG posted:

if you were going to kill yourself using something controlled by a programming language, what language would you choose? would you try and be ironic about it in your death and use an excel macro to start a power drill laid over your heart while you sleep? would you use php so you would die from ridicule during the process?

trick question, all of us are already killing ourselves with programming languages

# ? Jul 30, 2013 18:46

Malloc Voidstar: May 7, 2007; Fuck the cowboys. Unf. Fuck em hard.

Computer scientists develop mathematical jigsaw puzzles to encrypt software
Tue, 07/30/2013 - 9:28am

UCLA computer science professor Amit Sahai and a team of researchers have designed a system to encrypt software so that it only allows someone to use a program as intended while preventing any deciphering of the code behind it. This is known in computer science as "software obfuscation," and it is the first time it has been accomplished.

# ? Jul 30, 2013 18:47

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

Aleksei Vasiliev posted:

Computer scientists develop mathematical jigsaw puzzles to encrypt software
Tue, 07/30/2013 - 9:28am

UCLA computer science professor Amit Sahai and a team of researchers have designed a system to encrypt software so that it only allows someone to use a program as intended while preventing any deciphering of the code behind it. This is known in computer science as "software obfuscation," and it is the first time it has been accomplished.

ahem

http://perldoc.perl.org/perlfilter.html

This article originally appeared in The Perl Journal #11, and is copyright 1998 The Perl Journal. It appears courtesy of Jon Orwant and The Perl Journal. This document may be distributed under the same terms as Perl itself.

# ? Jul 30, 2013 18:48

power botton: Nov 2, 2011

this is big news

# ? Jul 30, 2013 18:49

Corla Plankun: May 8, 2007; improve the lives of everyone

article posted:

"You write your software in a nice, reasonable, human-understandable way and then feed that software to our system," Sahai said. "It will output this mathematically transformed piece of software that would be equivalent in functionality, but when you look at it, you would have no idea what it's doing."

this is how my code already looks

ive been coding from the future literally this entire time :smogdug:

# ? Jul 30, 2013 20:09

a cyberpunk goose: May 21, 2007

i'd kill myself with python because there's a builtin already

# ? Jul 30, 2013 20:10

uG: Apr 23, 2003; by Ralp

yeah but you'd inevitably want to kill yourself while programming python so you still need a different way to kill yourself

# ? Jul 30, 2013 20:27

Empty Pockets: Jun 11, 2008

Aleksei Vasiliev posted:

Computer scientists develop mathematical jigsaw puzzles to encrypt software
Tue, 07/30/2013 - 9:28am

UCLA computer science professor Amit Sahai and a team of researchers have designed a system to encrypt software so that it only allows someone to use a program as intended while preventing any deciphering of the code behind it. This is known in computer science as "software obfuscation," and it is the first time it has been accomplished.

http://search.cpan.org/dist/Acme-EyeDrops/lib/Acme/EyeDrops.pm

This is a level beyond unreadable code. I call it unreadable code 2.

# ? Jul 30, 2013 21:04

a cyberpunk goose: May 21, 2007

uG posted:

yeah but you'd inevitably want to kill yourself while programming python so you still need a different way to kill yourself

okay okay, i got one

i'd kill myself in erlang because then all my body parts would arrive at ... different.. mail boxes? gently caress i got lost

# ? Jul 31, 2013 00:55

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

i would use objective c and then use GCD to dispatch myself

# ? Jul 31, 2013 03:48

a cyberpunk goose: May 21, 2007

not only am i a terrible programmer but im terrible at making programming jokes

will i ever find a place i can call home

# ? Jul 31, 2013 03:51

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

i kill would MPI myself use

# ? Jul 31, 2013 04:08

Symbolic Butt: Mar 22, 2009; (_!_); Buglord

reading sicp and it's really neat the way it explains tail recursion separating the idea of recursive procedures from recursive processes. also loving all the numerical examples. those are my terrible programmer's first impressions on this book thanks for reading.

# ? Aug 1, 2013 10:46

weird: Jun 4, 2012; by zen death robot

chapter 4 was a lot of fun when i read that book. i was sorta surprised how excited i was going thru it. thats my sicp story hope you enjnyed

# ? Aug 1, 2013 10:52

wolffenstein: Aug 2, 2002; Pork Pro

In the past week, I pulled an all nighter at a hackathon just to find out they threw out my backend code because "the frontend didn't look the way I imagined". I went to a meetup for civic coding, ended up being the only experienced programmer that knows git, and taught a group of designers how to use git and github to manage their 5k+ lines of single file javascript.

I'm unemployed, broke, and living with relatives after quitting my last job due to worse than php language and horrible location that made my depression worse.

gently caress I'm really depressed now.

# ? Aug 1, 2013 18:20

Cold on a Cob: Feb 6, 2006; i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually; College Slice

wolffenstein posted:

In the past week, I pulled an all nighter at a hackathon just to find out they threw out my backend code because "the frontend didn't look the way I imagined". I went to a meetup for civic coding, ended up being the only experienced programmer that knows git, and taught a group of designers how to use git and github to manage their 5k+ lines of single file javascript.

I'm unemployed, broke, and living with relatives after quitting my last job due to worse than php language and horrible location that made my depression worse.

gently caress I'm really depressed now.

is this a real post bc if so drat you can do better don't give up man

# ? Aug 1, 2013 18:24

Janitor Prime: Jan 22, 2004; PC LOAD LETTER

What da fuck does that mean; Fun Shoe

wolffenstein posted:

In the past week, I pulled an all nighter at a hackathon just to find out they threw out my backend code because "the frontend didn't look the way I imagined". I went to a meetup for civic coding, ended up being the only experienced programmer that knows git, and taught a group of designers how to use git and github to manage their 5k+ lines of single file javascript.

I'm unemployed, broke, and living with relatives after quitting my last job due to worse than php language and horrible location that made my depression worse.

gently caress I'm really depressed now.

keep trying, don't give up man. Network, network, network and make sure you take your resume over to http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3553582 and ask them to see if there's anything glaringly wrong with it

# ? Aug 1, 2013 19:06