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I am The Fury posted:They really seemed like actual different people. Jess even smoked cigarettes while no others did. I onky ever saw hes smoke them once, but that's still once more than I saw any of the others. That's what's going on. Dissociative Identity Disorder is astonishingly rare, if it exists at all. The odds of Martha having DID are about the same as the odds of winning the lottery, at best. She's probably just a better actress than you are a discerning critic. It's much, much, much more likely that she's playing you for sympathy, attention, and sex. Case in point: Dick Burglar posted:I am The Fury, you know that shingles is contagious, right? A sex addict with (I'm assuming untreated, because she sure doesn't seem to be seeking treatment for anything else) active shingles is pretty bad news. I am The Fury posted:Are you serious? She always told me it wasn't transmittable. How long does it take to show up or show any signs? She doesn't have DID, and most importantly Martha doesn't care about you as a person. She cares about you as a resource. SEVER IMMEDIATELY, including game night. If there's one thing you should take away from this thread, it's that crazy people don't let you decide on the dynamics of your relationship. If Martha wants to make trouble for you because you've cut contact with her, she will probably stir up trouble with the other people in your gaming group. Be ready to have your reputation trashed, friends turn away from you, and every ounce of goodwill you've ever felt towards Martha disappear. On another note, if Martha makes any kind of trouble, for you or herself, CALL THE POLICE. She needs to know you aren't loving around. She threatens to kill herself, call the police. She threatens to hurt herself, call the police. She threatens to hurt someone else, call the police. She threatens to gently caress up someone's property--yours or someone else's--call the police. She needs to understand that trying to contact you will result in once of two outcomes: silence, or the police. You're 20; you have no idea of how badly this can escalate. Go re-read this thread, and ask yourself: what are the chances that you can avoid the crazy but remain in casual contact with Martha, when no one else here did that? Edit: hyperhazard posted:Usually if you've had the vaccine, or had chickenpox, you're okay. Having chickenpox makes you more vulnerable to shingles, not less. Bobbie Wickham fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Jul 29, 2013 |
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Jul 29, 2013 21:13
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Bobbie Wickham posted:
Ah -- reading up on it, it looks like having it previously makes you vulnerable to developing it again. Catching it from someone else only happens if you haven't had it before, or your immune system is weakened. I'll leave the medical advice to goons with more knowledge. Fury, you should be fine. It's not the main thing to worry about here.
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Jul 29, 2013 21:52
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You can't catch shingles from someone else. You caught shingles when you caught chicken pox - you always had the virus for shingles after that. You can, however, catch chicken pox from someone with shingles. And then get shingles later from that. I'm saying if you already had chicken pox it probably doesn't matter because you already have shingles but if you haven't had chicken pox or the vaccine then that should be your worry right there.
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Jul 29, 2013 22:25
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I'm dating someone with DID, and I can say, you need to sever. There are positive ways of dealing with DID, and it sounds like she is doing none of them. It's a complex medical condition that almost always comes with extremely, extremely complicated pasts. If it's real, she's not dealing with it, and you don't need to support her. If it's fake, she's a bitch and you should sever anyway. The sex isn't worth it.
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Jul 29, 2013 22:57
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CaladSigilon posted:If it's real, she's not dealing with it, and you don't need to support her. If it's fake, she's a bitch and you should sever anyway. Calad speaks the truth, the best thing I ever did was following the threads advice and cutting all contact with my crazy. You know what? I'm happier, sleeping better, seeing friends again and have more free time. Hell I even got a job. It is hard, and it is a scary step to take, don't get me wrong. But it's one that needs to happen for your own sake. Trust me when I say she'll just move on to somebody else because all she really wants, is the attention. It doesn't matter what form the attention comes, be it concern, lust or annoyance. She'll do anything she can to get it. Hence the blackouts and suicide attempts. Jess knows what's she's talking about, she probably isn't going to kill herself, but she knows you'll try to stop her if she tries. After all, Jess emerges when you're going to call the cops, she's the "You're going to far, don't spoil my game. Look everything's fine" button. You're always glad to see Jess because it's just when you think you can't handle this poo poo anymore.
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Jul 30, 2013 02:15
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I am the Fury, your experience sounds pretty drat similar to one I had, which I shall now chronicle. Well, I say Chronicle, it's only going to be one post. So, it all started back in February. I had just been diagnosed with clinical depression, and had just broken up with my girlfriend. That, plus having no friends outside my girlfriend's flatmates at the time (I was in my first year of University in England) meant that I was in a SPECTACULARLY bad place mentally. So, in an attempt to get my mind off things, and maybe meet cool new people, I went to see a favourite musician of mine at a local pub where he was doing a gig. Now, said musician had somewhat of a steampunk bent, so we got all sorts. I was there in jeans and a hoodie, all on my lonesome because no friends. Most of the others in attendance were in full steampunk gear and seemed quite cool, but I didn't go over. I eventually ended up meeting a much older dude, his wife, their niece and her friend. The Niece, whom I shall be calling Joan, and I kinda hit it off, talking about videogames, comics, etc etc. She seemed hopelessly nerdy, but otherwise perfectly normal, and I ended the night with her number. Now, from here, my mind gets a little fuzzy on the details. Between then and meeting her for the first time, I discovered the following: A) she had a super-weird relationship with a guy. Honestly, to me the guy in question sounded like he was the source of most of her problems, but she was almost slavishly devoted to him, as apparently are several of her friends. I'll show how devoted later, but seriously the whole thing seemed borderline cultish. B) She was a massive loving weeaboo. C) She had apparently been sexually abused by an ex. I can believe this, as she was a fairly timid, tiny little girl. I am not strong in the least, and I'm sure I could have picked her up one handed. D) She apparently had DID. Or, rather, claimed she did. For several reasons I know that it's bullshit, most of all because the two “personalities” she had would often claim to talk to eachother in her head. Which is complete bullshit of all DID sufferers. Plus, as has been mentioned before, DID is exceedingly rare if it exists at all. Said alternate personality of hers claims to be some weird vampire alien spirit thing. And is placated by hot chocolate. I don't even pretend to have any idea. She also hated being called her real name, preferring to be called a name that came straight out of an anime. Not gonna say which one, because I think she uses it online. As a matter of fact, her alternate personality had one that came straight out of anime as well. So, despite those several massively flying red flags, I agree to meet up with her. We have a pretty nice day, and we end up back at my room. Nothing much happens there, other than watching Battle Royale. Then, as a really bad joke, I pretend to forget the name of the guy she treats like a god. What does she do? loving take a chunk out of my neck with her long-rear end nails. I still have a scar from it. So, any reasonable, normal person would have shown her the door and never spoken to her again, right? Well, yes. But as already established, I was so far away from being reasonable and normal at this point that I let my dick get in the way, and met up with her again. This time was more normal, we basically just played videogames and made out a bit. However, after we stopped, things got weird. She really didn't want to leave, and basically begged me to see her on a purely sexual basis. Thankfully, I still had enough sense to figure out that putting it in the crazy was a really bad idea, so I didn't have sex with her. It was after that that I started getting counselling, and started on Medication, and as such had a heartfelt conversation with her over skype where I basically went “YOU ARE TOO CRAZY FOR ME.” I haven't spoken to her since, although she occasionally talks to a friend of mine. Seems just as crazy, which is a shame, cuz she was perfectly nice. Anyways, I know it wasn't the best story, since I typed it up at 2 in the morning, but that's my encounter with the crazy.
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Jul 30, 2013 02:24
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Huh, seems you got off pretty lightly, although I don't think any of us have been attacked physically... You did the right thing though. Fair play to you for being one of the sensible people with good decision making skills 
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Jul 30, 2013 10:27
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Huntersoninski posted:You can't catch shingles from someone else. You caught shingles when you caught chicken pox - you always had the virus for shingles after that. Just as a sidenote, when I went to get my pills refilled yesterday the pharmacy was advertising a shingles vaccination to help prevent shingles from reappearing if you've had chickenpox before. Not sure how legit it is but if The Fury hasn't gotten their pox vaccinations it'd be a good idea to check it out.
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Jul 30, 2013 15:59
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Horrible Smutbeast posted:Just as a sidenote, when I went to get my pills refilled yesterday the pharmacy was advertising a shingles vaccination to help prevent shingles from reappearing if you've had chickenpox before. Not sure how legit it is but if The Fury hasn't gotten their pox vaccinations it'd be a good idea to check it out. I got one last week. It was explained to me that it's not 100% effective against shingles, but it does drastically increase the odds that you'll get it. Also, if you do get shingles after being vaccinated, it will be of shorter duration, significantly less painful, and without the lasting (lifetime, I believe) after-affects. Damned expensive though. I have BCBS of NC and it was covered 100%. Without insurance, it would have been $278.00. Oh, also--my doctor told me many insurance plans won't cover it if you're younger than 65. Don't know why. Edit: v It never occurs to me to specify that I'm in the US. Hubris, sorry. Marley Wants More fucked around with this message at 17:16 on Jul 30, 2013 |
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Jul 30, 2013 16:52
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Marley Wants More posted:I got one last week. It was explained to me that it's not 100% effective against shingles, but it does drastically increase the odds that you'll get it. Also, if you do get shingles after being vaccinated, it will be of shorter duration, significantly less painful, and without the lasting (lifetime, I believe) after-affects. Ah, I'm in Canada so most, if not all vaccinations are free. The student center at my university gives out any sort of boosters and the hpv one if you ask.
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Jul 30, 2013 16:55
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Marley Wants More posted:I got one last week. It was explained to me that it's not 100% effective against shingles, but it does drastically increase the odds that you'll get it. I hope this is a typo.
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Jul 30, 2013 20:32
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Bobbie Wickham posted:That's what's going on. Dissociative Identity Disorder is astonishingly rare, if it exists at all. The odds of Martha having DID are about the same as the odds of winning the lottery, at best. She's probably just a better actress than you are a discerning critic. It's much, much, much more likely that she's playing you for sympathy, attention, and sex. Case in point: You make some really solid points, obviously. I may have just originally gone with it because I was so loving lonely and she was the gateway to all the friends I have now. Now, of those friends, she is only really closer with one, maybe two of them than I am, so it isn't like severing with her will end all social possibilities like the situation used to be. As for all the Shingle discussion, Martha has had Shingles for over a year and a half and counting now, so she's gotten pretty good at coping with the day-to-day pain. She's prescribed several different painkillers for it and it's what she was given her MMJ card for. Speaking of medications, she has tried every antidepressant, anti-psychotic, and anti-crazybitch medication she apparently can, and they all turned out badly for her. Painkillers and weed have less negative effects, but she still prefers sobriety to being on either of those in most cases. I haven't noticed any symptoms or anything. No blisters, no inexplicable pain, etc. Never had Chicken Pox, but I have been vaccinated for it. Hooray for a relatively sane update! Concussion? Alright so at this point Martha and I have been loving like animals when possible for a little over a month. One day, she stops me and says she feels somewhat nauseous, so we stop for a few minutes while I get her some water and wait for her to feel better. we continue, only to stop again five minutes later. She gets up this time and goes to the bathroom. I hear a thunk after several minutes, and assume she's just looking for towels or something in my cupboards. after another few minutes, I decide to check on her in case she passed out again. I find her on the floor of the bathroom next to the bathtub. I don't see any blood, so I'm not immediately worried. I start looking over her head to see if I can see any bruises or marks, and as soon as I touch a certain spot on her scalp, she scream out in pain, wakes up, and pushes me into the wall. I recover, and try to help her up, but she's passed out yet again. So I sit her up and put a cold wet rag on her forehead while I try to decide how to proceed. I'm too poor for an ambulance, she's far more poor than I am, and is unemployed. So while contemplating this, she wakes back up, and is doing the whole no memory of anything ever. I start to calm down, until it turns into no memory of anything ever, including the previous 30 seconds. I had to keep reminding her who I was, who she is, where we were, and etc. I decided to take her to urgent care. as soon as I suggest this, she gets extremely upset for a few seconds, then asks why she's mad. So I manage to trick her into getting into my car with the intention of going to urgent care. Anyways, we pull in, and I have to drag her out of the car to take her into the UC building because she refuses to cooperate and says she's fine, then asks where we are again. I finally get her into the building and manage to convince her to cooperate long enough to get her in a room to see a doctor or nurse or anyone who knows things about injuries. The nurse comes in, Martha immediately says she doesn't need to be here and I was just overreacting, the nurse says that she can either call an ambulance or drive her to the emergency room, because the UC doesn't have the equipment or whatever. So we leave, and after a few minutes of heated argument which, looking back, Martha was suspiciously coherent for, I decide to just take her home and make sure she's doing okay until someone else gets home to look after her. This meant lying in her bed with her for a few hours, and not allowing her to basically move or touch her face/head. I googled what the gently caress to do, and it recommended letting them rest if it wasn't a severe concussion, so I tried to comply, since I had been scared out of taking her to the hospital. After a couple hours of answering inane questions, because we all know she wasn't going to loving sleep, her parents got home, and the mom decided to look after Martha while the dad had a talk with me. He thanked me for looking after her, asked what happened, and then shared some of his weed with me to help calm me down. He talked quite a bit about how she could be faking, because "everything's a production" with Martha. I went home and tried to comprehend everything and decided that it probably wouldn't be too bad for me to trust Martha, seeing as I didn't really have anything to lose from doing that, but could lose my only connection to any kind of social life that I had by deciding to spend my time away from her. The next few weeks were some of the least stressful and panicky times for me with Martha, because she stuck with constantly forgetting basic things instead of delving into suicidal multiple personality cultist nonsense. I didn't hear from any of the others for a long time. The passing out dropped in quantity, which was extremely nice. She claims that her friend Eric forced her to let him take her to the hospital, and did so by karate or some other bullshit, it wasn't thoroughly explained to me before I was asked who Eric was thirty seconds later. The point was that the hospital said she most likely had a very minor concussion, and didn't need to worry, but should probably drop some classes, since she probably wasn't stable enough to be in school full-time. So she dropped some classes, and everything was alright. Well, not alright, but at least she wasn't going to be given failing grades for anything. After the concussion, nothing really out of the ordinary that hasn't been described so far happened until somewhat more recently. Specifically very late April through July 24. But my break at work has been over for a few minutes now, so I'll save that for next time. Next time: Martha is Prescribed Gabapentin.
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Jul 30, 2013 23:08
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I am The Fury posted:You make some really solid points, obviously. I may have just originally gone with it because I was so loving lonely and she was the gateway to all the friends I have now. Now, of those friends, she is only really closer with one, maybe two of them than I am, so it isn't like severing with her will end all social possibilities like the situation used to be. Chicken Pox sucks hardcore, but thankfully does no permanent damage beyond a few pale scars if you get it as a child. You're hot, feverish, irritable, and feel bruised all over, and your skin itches like you've been assaulted by a swarm of mosquitoes. Getting the same virus as an adult (or if your immune system is compromised so the latent virus reemerges) results in debilitating pain and nerve damage, plus nasty rashes and suppurating wounds. From what I understand it usually either clears up as your immune system recovers or you're attacked by even nastier things and have to be hospitalized. She is using you for attention. Every time you interact with you she extracts a little bit of concern, or sympathy, or lust; something, anything, to make her feel better about herself. She has absolutely no regard for you, and will use you up and throw you away if you let her. The next time she threatens suicide, or says she has lost her memory, call the ambulance on her. No warning, no bargaining. If she's telling the truth, it's an emergency and needs to be handled by professionals immediately. If she's lying, she should have considered that before making claims and will have to live with the consequences. E: Because I'm a sucker for sympathy, she's probably severely depressed (perhaps from trauma she experienced as a child) and has lots of mental health issues because of it. She probably lacks self-worth and feels compelled to do this stuff to feel good about herself. All of her actions are attempts to get you to prove your concern for you; the "amnesia" is a convenient way to get you to explain yourself over and over again with plausible deniability for her. If she really is in chronic pain it's probably a symptom of depression. Regardless, it is not your responsibility to fix her and probably beyond your ability, anyway. Leave it to professionals and get this toxic person out of your life. DarkHorse fucked around with this message at 02:08 on Jul 31, 2013 |
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Jul 31, 2013 02:03
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I am The Fury posted:I may have just originally gone with it because I was so loving lonely and she was the gateway to all the friends I have now. Now, of those friends, she is only really closer with one, maybe two of them than I am, so it isn't like severing with her will end all social possibilities like the situation used to be. You should ask these friends what they think about her "multiple personalities." I bet hilarity will ensue—you can be sure at least a couple of them, especially if she's anywhere near the sex addict she claims, have had the opportunity to "meet" her headmates. I am The Fury posted:As for all the Shingle discussion, Martha has had Shingles for over a year and a half and counting now, so she's gotten pretty good at coping with the day-to-day pain. She's prescribed several different painkillers for it and it's what she was given her MMJ card for. Speaking of medications, she has tried every antidepressant, anti-psychotic, and anti-crazybitch medication she apparently can, and they all turned out badly for her. Painkillers and weed have less negative effects, but she still prefers sobriety to being on either of those in most cases. Are these things you have some evidence of, or are you relying on her word? Because you should be aware by now her word is poo poo. eschaton fucked around with this message at 02:12 on Jul 31, 2013 |
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Jul 31, 2013 02:10
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Just wanted to chime in and say that I had shingles (I had chickenpox as a kid, then after I got a lung transplant I had no immune system so shingles struck) and the first symptom was intense pain in my right shoulder. I thought I had dislocated it or sprained it. The chickenpox-like bumps only appeared on my hand and arm a few days after the pain in my shoulder. Shingles is an infection of the nervous tissue so you suffer direct nerve pain which means normal pain killers, including opioids like morphine and methadone, don't do poo poo. Unless this crazy chick is on Gabapentin for the neuropathic pain, she is not treating her shingles. And yes, shingles is contagious as gently caress if you get your open sores (which often cover your hands) on something another person can touch. She needs to deal with her shingles or she will be a loving typhoid Mary spreading disease everywhere she goes to people's grandparents, babies, and others with compromised immune systems. Shingles is no joke, the pain is indeed debilitating (I was writhing in agony and I have a seriously high pain tolerance) but it is no excuse for laying around ignoring your problems. I am not a doctor, sever, etc etc.
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Jul 31, 2013 02:37
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I also had shingles. Mostly it was just an itchy rash with minor shots of pain like a pinch randomly. Its not necessarily debilitating. However, luck had it appear on an area of my skin that's been nerve damaged to the point of being numb all the time so who even knows, maybe my pelvic surgery paid off.
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Jul 31, 2013 02:45
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She is absolutely faking it, dude, and she has you wrapped around her finger with this whole suicide schtick. She is not going to kill herself. She is going to use it to manipulate and control you however, and so far, she's succeeded. It is just a manipulation tool. When I left my crazy gently caress of an ex who also totally for realsies had DID, I was barely conscious from starvation, no job, no money, a country away from anyone who could help me financially, and had a just couple friends. It's entirely possible for you to leave her! This woman is toxic, and manipulative to the max. You absolutely never need to answer her calls or talk to her ever again. Tell your friends what has been going on. Tell them everything you've told us! I'll bet they'll want to help. Delete her number right now and block it via your service provider if you have to in order to stop yourself answering her calls. I had to do this myself because I was so far under his control. Sever. She needs no warning, it'll just make her try to get her claws in deeper. She probably won't go quietly either but you'll have friends and family (and us for what its worth) to back you up! Sorry to get kind of panicky about this man, but read what you just wrote. Best of luck and keep us posted!
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Jul 31, 2013 03:02
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I am The Fury posted:You make some really solid points, obviously. I may have just originally gone with it because I was so loving lonely and she was the gateway to all the friends I have now. Now, of those friends, she is only really closer with one, maybe two of them than I am, so it isn't like severing with her will end all social possibilities like the situation used to be. Tell your friends you cannot hang out with them at the same time as Martha anymore. You don't need to tell them any more than that if you don't want to. If this doesn't sit well, go make new friends. Am I going to have buy :justsever: ?
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Jul 31, 2013 04:06
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P.S. STILL COMPLETELY DEVOID OF MERIT
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eschaton posted:You should ask these friends what they think about her "multiple personalities." I bet hilarity will ensue—you can be sure at least a couple of them, especially if she's anywhere near the sex addict she claims, have had the opportunity to "meet" her headmates. My friend Joseph was her ex and actually lived with her in Indiana for a few months, he still at least acts like it's real to her face. Because I've been with him and Martha when she flipped out once and decided to be Jess or however it works with her, I don't know. No other friends that I'm aware of know about it, except I think Eric, but that guy refuses to talk to anyone in the gaming group for some reason, and only stays in touch with Martha. I'm not a huge fan of the guy, but that's only because of things I've been told by Martha, so maybe he's actually really cool. I'm obviously not referring to when he took her to the hospital. I applaud him for that. It's definitely what I should have done in the situation. The prescription medicine bottles with her name on them were a good enough excuse for me, and she's on Vicodin and Norco's for her nerve damage. This shingles looked like a large fresh scar/blister on her lower right back. She told me the doctors told her that her skin was scarring over itself for some reason, which was causing some of the pain. The nerve damage in her spine was causing the rest of it. Turpitude posted:Just wanted to chime in and say that I had shingles (I had chickenpox as a kid, then after I got a lung transplant I had no immune system so shingles struck) and the first symptom was intense pain in my right shoulder. I thought I had dislocated it or sprained it. The chickenpox-like bumps only appeared on my hand and arm a few days after the pain in my shoulder. Yeah, she always told me it was nerve damage, but I never saw any open sores or anything like that. Only just the scar/blister thing. uglynoodles posted:She is absolutely faking it, dude, and she has you wrapped around her finger with this whole suicide schtick. She is not going to kill herself. She is going to use it to manipulate and control you however, and so far, she's succeeded. It is just a manipulation tool. I am trying to distance myself as much as I can. To her credit, she didn't even attempt to contact me the past couple days, and didn't show up to our gaming group so maybe she took the hint. Or is biding her time, whatever. I've told my coworkers about it all, but I really am hesitant to throw my friends into this mess. She was finally taking some steps to better her life, and I don't want her to lose herself in isolation like I did for a bit. As manipulative as she was, I did still care for her, and an irrational part of me still does. I want her to stay away, but I don't want to ruin her life with it. I don't know, I still need some time to think about it, it doesn't seem as bad as the other stories in this thread, but maybe only because it's only 6 months in and I just need to take this opportunity to get out. Whatever, I'm hanging out with a normal person tonight, gonna get high and
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Jul 31, 2013 04:16
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Best of luck, dude. If this thread's taught me anything, it's that weird poo poo happens to everyone, but can make for some pretty interesting stories later on in life. 
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Jul 31, 2013 04:42
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Speaking as someone who's been there, although I'm not comfortable going into details, I'm not going to be so quick to write off the DID thing. Granted, if someone outright says they are, I'm quick to dismiss it - I think everyone is - but after dealing with someone who was (I guess?), and didn't tell me for the longest time that maybe that might be the case? Eeeh. It's still a case of sever. You can't help her. Even if everyone's right and it's not DID, get the gently caress out of there. Go look up the few remaining for 'survivors of DID patient' support groups that exist, learn that your story isn't singular, tell yourself you may have screwed up, and move on. The fact of the matter is that in a no-poo poo ~true DID~ situation, you are the one that's going to need as much therapy as them because you are literally dealing with an unmanageable situation. If you can't deal with it, you're going to gently caress them - all of them - up more. DID "survivors" is a thing, even if their partners were bullshitting. Groups get lambasted by supporters of DID all the loving time because obviously anyone who comes out of it looking for help is a heartless douchebag. 'They had it worse than you, suck it up.' Thing is, if it's true, that it's for real, you're literally dating seven people at once. That's not something that should be expected of anyone. The ones who choose to stay, who know the truth, well, if they can handle it? They're welcome to. If someone is faking seven people, it's still the same difference. That's too much for one person to handle, no question. This isn't really the place for IS DID REAL??! debate, because the outcome is always the same. Anyone who has to deal with it, faked or no, goes through some serious poo poo. Take care of yourself, get the gently caress out of there, and get over the whole 'oh god what have i done?' response as soon as possible. You did something for the both of you. If she is DID, you stopped loving her up. If she isn't, you stopped enabling her. Everyone wins. EDIT 3: Took out quoted line, I was being butthurt. 
Old Boot fucked around with this message at 08:22 on Jul 31, 2013 |
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Jul 31, 2013 05:18
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An Old Boot posted:Seriously, guys, stop talking about 'is it real?' in cases like this. It just salts the wound.
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Jul 31, 2013 05:28
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Old Boot fucked around with this message at 08:25 on Jul 31, 2013 |
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Jul 31, 2013 05:46
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I am The Fury posted:I'm obviously not referring to when [Eric] took her to the hospital. I applaud him for that. Can you be certain this actually happened? It reads as though this is another thread in the "I have amnesia and I've passed the gently caress out a lot before but the doctors said it was probably just a concussion and nope no risk of brain damage that warrants any kind of follow up" web of lies, and could even go so far as Eric not being real if you haven't actually met him in person.
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Jul 31, 2013 06:10
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Samunwise posted:Can you be certain this actually happened? It reads as though this is another thread in the "I have amnesia and I've passed the gently caress out a lot before but the doctors said it was probably just a concussion and nope no risk of brain damage that warrants any kind of follow up" web of lies, and could even go so far as Eric not being real if you haven't actually met him in person. I don't know for 100% sure, she had a printed out list of things to look out for when you have a concussion that looked legit, but it may very well have just been printed off the internet ten minutes before I was shown. I've met Eric, and he's a seriously creepy guy, but I've only ever been around the guy like three times tops. He's been invited to every game night since the group met him but just doesn't come.
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Jul 31, 2013 10:19
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Gonna say DID is real I'm sure, but I know my schizotypal ex was faking for attention, and it seems like Martha is, too. It's unfortunately so full of fakers either trying to manipulate people or absolve themselves of responsibility for poo poo they've done that its called its existence into question. You're right though, Old Boot, whether or not the case was actually true, the results on the people outside the 'multiple system' or whatever, is the same.
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Jul 31, 2013 10:49
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I always like how there's one personality dedicated to saying nasty and hurtful things to people. So then when you're hurt by something they said, the person can be like "Oh but that wasn't me saying it, it's INSERT_NAME_HERE" Plus then they get to say exactly what they feel without any repercussions, since you know they would never say anything like that.  It is certainly more than possible to fake it, as I had to for my crazy, which leads me to believe that she was faking it, especially with how many new "people" turned up and vanished without a trace when she were bored of them. It is an excellent tool to be used for attention since you can't prove they don't have it and the capacity for creating drama with it is endless. It's also worth noting that Martha's DID (if it is indeed DID) only flares up when she's alone with you. From what I can gather I don't think those who suffer with it exactly have much control over it, especially when other personalities can apparently just take over in an instant. I'd imagine there'd be at least one time during a social gathering one of the others would have taken over. Did this ever happen Rage? EDIT: Changed the gramma around so it's now obvious who I'm talking about, before it was a bit vague.
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Jul 31, 2013 11:32
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The only case I read where they thought it was truly DID and not just PTSD or a combination of various coping mechanisms was a woman who was sexually tortured as a child for years. If DID exists, which none of us can really tell right now, it's a super loving serious issue. This isn't just "oh I'm a little sad so I obviously have depression!" stuff, this is holy gently caress she needs to be in contact with therapists and doctors several times a week. Just for future reference Fury, if anyone ever claims this to you and starts doing dangerous or saying questionable things (like suicide threats) call the cops/ambulance and never come back. No matter what kind of issue they have that causes them to say or do things like that, the hospital staff will be able to help them get through it. Unless you're a medical professional and she's your client you have no issue managing other people's health.
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Jul 31, 2013 11:49
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Horrible Smutbeast posted:The only case I read where they thought it was truly DID and not just PTSD or a combination of various coping mechanisms was a woman who was sexually tortured as a child for years. If DID exists, which none of us can really tell right now, it's a super loving serious issue. This isn't just "oh I'm a little sad so I obviously have depression!" stuff, this is holy gently caress she needs to be in contact with therapists and doctors several times a week. Just for future reference Fury, if anyone ever claims this to you and starts doing dangerous or saying questionable things (like suicide threats) call the cops/ambulance and never come back. No matter what kind of issue they have that causes them to say or do things like that, the hospital staff will be able to help them get through it. Yeah, the few cases that are thought to be real involve horrific abuse (usually sexual) for many years. The people that end up like that generally are incredibly marginalized already, so it's incredibly infuriating to see people fake symptoms. It's an unbelievable enough condition even without people who pretend Sephiroth is a headmate.
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Jul 31, 2013 16:53
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:I always like how there's one personality dedicated to saying nasty and hurtful things to people. So then when you're hurt by something they said, the person can be like "Oh but that wasn't me saying it, it's INSERT_NAME_HERE" Yeah, there were two times she became someone else in front of others. The first time was in front of me and her ex, who is well steeped in dealing with the bullshit, and actually seems to handle it far better than I ever could. The other time is coming soon and wil be included in the Gabapentin story. Martha is Prescribed Gabapentin One day, about two months or so after the concussion, and about a month after all symptoms of it had seemingly cleared away, Martha goes back to the doctor for her shingle, because it's now around three months past when she was told it would go away. She is prescribed Gabapentin for the nerve pain or something. As far as I know, Gaba is primarily an anti-seizure medication with some extremely bad side effects. I guess Martha knew this too, because starting at day 2 through the following two months she would be almost always suffering from it unless it was convenient not to. She described the feeling of being on the medication as feeling drunk and high at the same time, but none of the pleasant feelings of those two, just all the negative ones. Paranoia, nausea, dizziness, spaciness, depressive thoughts, loss of coherence, etc. Every single night I would get a phone call from a sobbing Martha about how everything in her life is "all bad" and she doesn't deserve to live and even her children would rather die then spend any time with her. Basically all the stuff I heard before, but with a much higher frequency. after a week and a half, she decided the Gaba was being more harmful than helpful, because the pain hasn't subsided at all, wouldn't you know. So she weans herself off the medication the same way she went on it, just in reverse. Then, once she was finally off the medication, I got to experience the withdrawals. From what I can find online, actual Gabapentin withdrawals are a pain and a half to deal with, so it may very well have been legitimate for a while. Anyways, the withdrawals started shortly before I finally moved out of my parents house and moved into my new apartment with my DM, who also happens to be Martha's ex, and my other friend Nick who also happened to be in our DnD group and wanted to move away from his parents. On moving day, Martha was doing absolutely fine, and was more than eager to help me move all of my furniture. She did heavy lifting in the hot sun and organized my furniture and poo poo without me asking her to and no complaints or anything. Then the sun went down. Her withdrawals must have a case of loving vampirism or something, because as soon as it was dark out, Martha would begin having her problems. She would need to lie down, first and foremost. That would be followed by either entering a catatonic state (always lasting between 3-10 minutes) followed by crying and whining about how everything is horrible, or she would enter a catatonic state followed by attempting to kill herself. Or she would enter a catatonic state, followed by rambling about whatever she was hallucinating or thought she was hallucinating or whatever. Her hallucinations usually involved her being tied down in a mental hospital as people wearing masks injected her with things. Or being tied down in a basement as a strange man carved poetry into her arms. Or just the classic "Oh no I'm covered in bugs, better start smacking myself with a shoe." Occasionally she would start out just sleeping and I would consider myself super lucky. But inevitably, she would wake up and have this bullshit to deal with. In fact, I think there was only one night over the last 2 months of the relationship where she didn't have either me, our DM, r both of us help her cope with the withdrawals. It never got easy. I've lost count of the amount of times I watched the person who I think I probably loved (I don't have a strong grasp on how feelings are supposed to feel and don't really know how or when to label it love) try to kill herself in my bed or on my floor. It's always terrifying, regardless of how many times it happens or how sure I am that she won't actually finish herself off, possibly. I spent so many nights after spending time with Martha either taking bong rips or crying, whichever got me to sleep the fastest. One time early into the withdrawals, Martha, our friend Alice, and I were all hanging out watching movies. Martha excuses herself to lie down because she's a little dizzy, I ask if she wants me to hang with her until she falls asleep. She turns the offer down and walks off, and I put it to the back of my mind, because I trust her judgement. Five minutes later, I hear a thunk. Having learned my lesson from last time, I immediately get up to go check on her. The sight I come across is Martha lying on my floor motionless with my belt tightened around her neck. I take the belt off and throw it to the side and immediately check her pulse and breathing, both of which seemed normal. I then call Alice in and explain that I found Martha asleep on the floor, and she wasn't responding. Yeah, I should have told Alice that Martha attempted strangling herself, and I should have called an ambulance as soon as I entered the room, but I didn't. Anyways, after a few minutes of waiting, and me and Alice agreeing that if Martha didn't get up within fifteen minutes we would call an ambulance (This was before I got my MMJ card, and both me and Alice are high at the moment, and really didn't want to deal with authorities while illegally stoned). Cue Martha waking up within five, as Jess, and seeking her cigarettes. Cigarettes that Martha constantly hides so Jess doesn't smoke them, but since Jess is basically the Administrator account, she knows where Martha hides them. Jess did not make it known to Alice that she wasn't actually Martha or however it's supposed to be explained. So to this day, Alice just thinks that Martha passed out, woke up, and smoked the only cigarette she's ever smoked. I didn't really sleep well that night. Anyways, this poo poo continues, night after night, for two months. ever single night, it's the same type of event all over again. And then my 21st birthday comes. I decide, hey, let's go wine tasting with my family, because my parents are rich and offered it. I took Alice and Martha along with me because they were the only two friends to express interest, but a bunch of extended family was coming, so I still had plenty of people to drink with. The day goes wonderfully, until we finish the tastings and make it back to my cousin's house. After chilling there for a little while, Martha asks me if she can talk to me in private. She gets me alone, and drops the informational bombshell that after July is over, (about two and a half weeks away at this point) if nothing is better in her life, she is absolutely going to kill herself, she is determined and has it all planned out. Being extremely hammered and having only seen this type of determination from her when she said (and succeeded at it) that she was going to move my heavy dresser in it's new spot on her own, I started panicking a bit. I start crying heavily, hyperventilating, and just kind of not knowing what to do. She manages to calm me down a little bit, but it's still obvious I'm flipping out and am not okay. My cousin comes to check on us, Martha convinces him I was just drunk and overreacting to a text from my ex, and persuades him to lend me his vape. I get high, coping with my new knowledge gets a little easier, and I return to the party, but attempt to isolate myself as much as I can so I can attempt to maintain my composure. Rest of the night was pretty uneventful, except my cousins all really like Alice because she likes to drink as much as they do. And now we come to the story that caused me to actually start distancing myself from Martha. The event that actually got me to stick to my guns and say the relationship is over, no salvaging. Martha attempted to kill me. What happened was that one night, yet again, Martha was having her withdrawals, yet again, and then after her catatonia she sits up with perfect posture, and stares at me. Just staring, not speaking, refuses to respond to my questions, but is following me with her eyes, and idly scratches her arms occasionally or whatever. Eventually, I ask her if I need to take her home, because I'm not really ready to deal with her suicidal problems at the moment, and her parents are probably much more able. Then she finally speaks in response to my sort of threat to make her stop tormenting me. She says, "Honey, I'm not going to kill myself. Not now at least. No, tonight I'm going to kill you." She said all of this in an emotionless calm manner. She then wraps her hands around my neck, says "You think I'm kidding don't you?" and then squeezes and shoves me back into my chair simultaneously. I push her off, she passes out, and I just sit there in silence, not knowing really how to deal with this new revelation. "Maybe it was just the temporary crazy brought on by her withdrawals, and when she wakes up in a few minutes, she'll be fine" She wasn't. She gets up, and starts chatting away at me about how this is the way it's supposed to be, and she won't have to be alone after she dies anymore, etc. I'm pretty dumbfounded and don't know how to take it. I don't really know why, but I somehow got it in my head that maybe letting her kill me would be for the best. It would definitely get rid of all my stress and worries. And I wouldn't have to think about how much wasted potential I am anymore, etc. So then I start participating. I get up and lie on my bed for her, and she straddles over me, and then gets really close to my face and keeps whispering that same bullshit, which disgusts me, so I keep pushing her face away. Finally, she holds my knife up to my neck. I have no idea where she found it, because I threw it in my pile of laundry a few weeks ago and never saw it again. I can feel the blade against my neck, and her mouth is next to my ear, talking about how it's almost over, and I don't need to cry anymore. I get a hold of myself for a bit and shove her off and sit up, saying I changed my mind, and I can't do it. I'm not ready, I'm too scared, things were finally coming together for me, and so on. She gets up again, tosses my knife to the side, tackles me down, straddles me, and shouts at me, "I loving own you, I am The Fury, don't you ever forget that, you worthless gently caress." This hits me personally for reasons not related to crazy people, I shove her off, and go get Our DM, as he's in the living room. I tell him Martha is having some serious issues and I need his help getting her calmed down and home as soon as possible. We go to m room, Martha is passed out on my bed, so I take a seat in my office chair and watch as Our DM manages to wake her up, and ask what happened. Obviously, she has absolutely no memory of the past while, so I let them know that she tried to kill me. Suddenly Martha loses her absolute poo poo. She begins screaming at me about how sorry she is, and how we need to call the cops on her RIGHT NOW and have her arrested for what she did. This doesn't help. Our DM instead suggests either getting her parents to come pick her up, us taking her to a hospital, us taking her to a women's help shelter or whatever they're called, or us just taking her home. I was in favor of not loving driving her anywhere, since I was the only one with a car. After calming Martha down though, DM finally decides that we need to just take her home. I drive her home, let DM walk ehr to the door, and then I take DM and myself home, then go to my room and smoke a couple bowls as I try to avoid thinking about what just happened. DM has yet to talk to me at length about it except to mention that Martha tried to kill him twice when they were together, but she's not really strong enough to accomplish anything. Talk about comforting. Martha called me the next day to apologize again, explain she had absolutely no memory of the events. I tell her that I hate doing it over the phone and had been planning to do it in person after work, but I'm pretty sure I have to break up with her. She immediately goes into that quiet state where she's barely speaking and sounds like she's about to cry and pleads with me that I really can't end it permanently, she wouldn't be able to go on without me. She also makes sure to reassure me that she's absolutely positive her withdrawals are gone forever with a 0% chance to show up again. This wasn't the first time I had been told that, so I express obvious doubt and tell her that she has a chance at me taking her back, but I need time to process what's happened and think about it, so please don't talk to me for a little while. She accepts it and hangs up, also reminding me that her therapist appointment is the next day and she'll talk to him about it. The next day she calls me while I'm walking around the grocery store to tell me about her therapist appointment and oh, by the way it's Jess and Martha has forgotten what happened but I remember every second and exactly what she was thinking at the time! It was explained that she never actually was intending to hurt me. At first it was a joke, then she saw how badly I reacted, and decided to carry on the joke because she thought I'd be more mad. Then she woke up later without remembering any of it except for what I told her. So she never tried to kill me, she was just psychologically torturing me. Because that's better. Except it loving isn't. Oh, and her therapist told her that since she didn't remember it at all, and since she had apologized already, there wasn't much else she could do at the time, so she might as well move on, and try to get me to do the same. I call bullshit, because I've come beyond just trusting her every word, but if she wants to lie to my face, I won't stop her. I wasn't taking it well, and the fact that I was in a grocery store wasn't helping at all. After a few minutes of attempting to ease my troubles, I tell Jess that I need time yet again, and she really should leave me alone for a bit, please and thank you. Of course she called me the next couple days in a row, so the fourth day I told her that I was not handling it well, her contacting me constantly is making it much much harder, and I wouldn't be answering her calls after this one for at least a week, and if she showed up uninvited when I'm home alone, I would call the police. She seems to have accepted it. I told her that on Sunday, I think, and so far she hasn't called me, skyped me, messaged me on Steam or Facebook or anything, and it's good. She was in my apartment last night when I got home from work, but she was watching movies with our DM and didn't attempt to speak with me at all, so I think maybe she's respecting the boundaries I set. I mean, probably not, but I'd rather be optimistic about it because when I'm not I start having anxiety problems. In a sort-of conclusion to the chronological aspect for this story, being with Martha has resulted in: -A vast increase in the amount of weed I smoke. When I first started back up after a 6 month break, I was smoking a gram a week. I'm up to about a quarter ounce a week now, so I guess about a gram a day. -I drink much more often. Although since it's actually legal for me to do so now, I don't know if Martha can be blamed for that. -I have a few new scars from when she drove me to start cutting again because I was unable to make my girlfriend happy. I was drunk at the time though, so maybe I need to reconsider my reconsideration on the last bullet -I don't really like being alone with people anymore unless I trust them absolutely, which narrows me to hanging out with Alice, my family, or a group of friends. -occasional anxiety/panic attacks. Sometime I start thinking about what happened which makes me start breathing harder, begin sweating, and forces my mind to race through what happened and what could have happened and what I should have done and what I didn't do and whether or not she was actually going to ever kill me or herself or if she was just faking the entire time in which case how did I get suckered into such a crazy situation and and and... -A huge boost in self-image. Despite everything that happened, being told you're super hot and amazing at sex has made me much more confident with my body, so that's beneficial. I have more stories about Martha, but they jump in and out of the forefront of my thoughts on occasion, so if I ever remember other things I'll let you guys know.
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Aug 1, 2013 23:50
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I am The Fury posted:
Well poo poo, that's a story and a half. I'm glad you decided you didn't want to die, that is a good attitude to have. You're doing all the right things so far, keeping your distance and making sure you're never alone with her is also a good move. Although I would have the cops on speed dial just in case. She was obviously planning this knife thing for a while, since you probably didn't see it because she pocketed it. I'm afraid, despite what she said, that that was probably her truest face and is probably what she thinks of you. Personally? I'd ask to meet her Dad privately somewhere and explain the situation to him. Exactly what's been going on. He seems like a reasonable guy and they quite frankly, need to know what their daughter is capable of. If only so he can warn others, he seems to have some inkling of her drama need, but I doubt he's got the full situation. Now whether you do this or not is up to you. It is after all your problem and just severing and running is also a legitimate solution. Difficult to do, but legitimate. You seem close to this Alice girl, you certainly sound like you trust her. Possibly talk to her about this? A confidant can really help when you've got no one else to turn to. Good luck Mate, keep us posted. I'll have my fingers crossed for you.
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Aug 2, 2013 00:35
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JohnOfOrdo3 posted:Well poo poo, that's a story and a half. I'm glad you decided you didn't want to die, that is a good attitude to have. You're doing all the right things so far, keeping your distance and making sure you're never alone with her is also a good move. Although I would have the cops on speed dial just in case. She was obviously planning this knife thing for a while, since you probably didn't see it because she pocketed it. I'm afraid, despite what she said, that that was probably her truest face and is probably what she thinks of you. Yeah, I'm thinking she did in fact think she owned me, possibly still does, I don't know whether she does or not, I just know that someone saying they own me really gets to me and I can't stand it. As for Alice, we're a bit closer than expected, and I remembered a story I can't believe I forgot shortly after I last posted. foreword to story: Martha is polyamorous, or claims to be at least. I wasn't very experienced with the concept, but I decided to give it a try. There's only two times either of us took advantage of it. This is the second time. The first time is pretty uneventful and mostly unrelated to Martha, so I'll leave it out for now. Drinking with Alice One day, Alice invited everyone from the gaming group to come to her house and drink. Since her parents were out of town for a week, anyone who needed to could crash there, and since Alice was house-sitting the neighbor's house, we had access to a pool. Turns out only Martha and I are able to chill that night, so we go to Alice's house. We have some shots, play some kings cup, and decide to go next door and go skinny-dipping. Martha had to reassure Alice over and over that it's fine if she gets naked in front of me and vice versa. We swim for a while, it's a good time, Alice is pretty attractive, etc. We get out, dry off, and head back to Alice's to drink some more and watch Netflix. Well, Martha didn't feel like watching Netflix, so instead we just drink and chat. Then Martha brings up how good in bed I am. Alice looks noticeably awkward. Martha mentions that I'm the best she's ever been with. Alice starts squirming from awkwardness. I'm really drunk, so I'm just beaming and letting Alice know that Martha isn't intentionally making her awkward. We get Martha to change the subject for a few minutes. Then she brings it back up, and suggests a threesome. Alice says she isn't interested, but we can do whatever we feel like in her living room, just stay off the couch. Martha considers it acceptable, as long as Alice stays to watch. So Alice watched me gently caress Martha for a while on her living room floor, and sits and watches for most of it. At one point she got up and made a sandwich. When I looked over, I saw her eating a sandwich watching with a weirded out look on her face. I can't say I blame her. Anyways, after we're done, we have a few more shots, and Martha decides she should probably get home soon. We call her brother, he says he's on his way, and we go back to chatting for the last few minutes. Martha takes this opportunity to inform Alice that it's perfectly okay if she has sex with me tonight, and Martha won't be mad or upset or anything, as long as we tell her about it. Martha leaves, and me and Alice go back to the couch and put on the Syfy channel, if that's how they still spell it. While watching some horrible movie called Raptor Island, me and Alice start cuddling, and eventually get to second base before we go to her bed. We go all the way to third, but decide not to go further than that, because she was not really comfortable with it. I've talked to her about it since and she says she doesn't regret or feel bad about what she did, and actually enjoyed it, but probably won't want to do it with me again until I'm single for an extended period. When we hang out solo and watch movies, we still get close, but no more sexual activity between us for now. The future might hold something else, but I'm in no way ready to get back into any relationship, let alone someone who for all I know may be crazy as well. Doesn't seem that way though. In conclusion for this story, I did some hosed up poo poo that I definitely should not have considering I was in a relationship I was committed to at the time, but I don't regret it, and it provided s common bond for me and Alice to get along, and it turns out she's a hell of a lot of fun to spend time with, mainly because she doesn't try to make it all about sex when she's in the mood, and doesn't try to make it all about herself when she's not. Hooray for having a friend!
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Aug 2, 2013 01:23
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I strongly suggest talking to your roommate if you can and saying you know he and Martha are still friends but you need absolute space from her right now, so please to not have her in your home. I really believe you need 100% distance from her right now! As for that polyamoury business, that sounds just more like an open relationship rather than being poly. Being poly is very different. From your reaction to your experience with Alice, it sounds like it might not be for you. You seem to be much more into monogamy and that's totally cool. I think you've made a good choice on hitting the Cool-It button with Alice for now.I can't believe that selfish wench even went so far as to co opt your goddamn birthday. She just CANNOT handle it when someone else has the spotlight for even a quarter of a second, can she? Your tale about her attempted killing you really solidifies my view that she's in this purely for control. She doesn't love you bro, and despite whatever she's said, I don't think she ever did. She's not capable of it, that's all. It has no bearing on whether or not you as a person are lovable or not, because I'll bet you are, and Alice proves it! Once again with Martha, its all about her. I'd really suggest cutting back or nixing out the weed and drink altogether for a while, just while you sort this out. Those things work great for people who are in a stable mental place, and I don't think that's where you are right now. When used as a comfort or coping mechanism these things can become dangerous and get a bit out of control; the alcohol especially. I'm not saying give it all up forever, mind, just a couple months whilst you deal with this. The benefits of dealing with this bullshit through the power of your own clear head can really outweigh the short term benefit of just ignoring what's happening -- and not being drunk or high means you'll be forcing yourself to see and feel all of what's going on, and change it for good. Then once that's done, light up a zoot and celebrate. I'm sorry if I seem all mommy-central right now. This is all still happening for you, and as weird as it seems, this particular random rear end person on the internet really does relate and really does give a poo poo. The more you post about her the more it reminds me of how I felt when I was with Brian, and the madder I get at her! Keep posting though. And seriously what is with nutjobs and stealing other people's birthdays? That poo poo was Denise to a T. Edit: my phone autocorrects nutjob to Burkina. What the gently caress is a Burkina? uglynoodles fucked around with this message at 02:42 on Aug 2, 2013 |
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Aug 2, 2013 02:38
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uglynoodles posted:I strongly suggest talking to your roommate if you can and saying you know he and Martha are still friends but you need absolute space from her right now, so please to not have her in your home. I really believe you need 100% distance from her right now! First of all, a Burkina is a nation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burkina_Faso) Second, thank you for your kind words uglynoodles. It goes without saying that you're the inspiration for me even being willing to talk about all of it, let alone be adamant in the fact that I'm done with her. Honestly, I'm probably going to let my roommate hang with her as long as she makes absolutely no contact with me. I spend most days just chilling in my room anyways, so yesterday it wasn't any different than today, when he's still at work and I'm just chilling. So I do have space from her. And as previously discussed, she's obviously doing all this poo poo to gently caress with me and get herself some attention, so she's probably not an actual threat to my life. Also my door has a lock that I use quite a bit now. Like I said, I don't really understand polyamory or even relationships at all, considering this was my first relationship that ever went beyond two weeks, and it isn't something they teach in school. But I'm not worried about feeling unloved. Even if I was, (I know I'm not, I'll always have family) being loved is not even really on my list of priorities. I'm 21, I've got another 60 years, give or take, to be loved. I'm probably going to quit smoking and drinking soon, but I'm going to finish my stash first. Quitting drinking shouldn't be a problem, because my version of heavy habitual drinking is like three drinks, three times a week. I don't have a very strong stomach. As for quitting weed, It'll be more difficult, but I've done it before when I needed to get a job, so I can probably do it again. I just don't really handle stress well when sober. I've been off my meds for a while because they interfere with my weed usage, or maybe the other way around, whatever, so I'll have to get my doctor to renew those prescriptions within the next few days, before I run out. I think the birthday stealing is common because rather than just a situation where they aren't the most important thing in someone's life, it's an entire DAY! 24 entire hours, how can they be expected to not be the sole focus of someone's misery for such an eternity? EDIT- I forgot to finish a sentence I Was The Fury fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Aug 2, 2013 |
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Aug 2, 2013 03:23
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Firstly, learn to write in paragraphs. Secondly, get some professional help because holy poo poo your self esteem. And your everything else.
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Aug 2, 2013 04:10
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Dude. Duuuuuuude. Meds first, weed second. Get those priorities in check, man. Also, bitchface should seriously be banned from your house. Chat with DM about it. I'm pretty sure he'll understand. Good luck, kiddo. You probably ain't as terrible as you think you are, so get help. From a pro. You're worth it as a human being.
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Aug 2, 2013 04:29
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Corridor posted:Firstly, learn to write in paragraphs. Secondly, get some professional help because holy poo poo your self esteem. And your everything else. DicktheCat posted:Dude. Duuuuuuude. Meds first, weed second. Get those priorities in check, man. Also, bitchface should seriously be banned from your house. Chat with DM about it. I'm pretty sure he'll understand. I have a scheduled therapist appointment in a couple weeks already, and am probably going to end up calling a hotline if it gets particularly bad for me. I already called my psychiatrist to schedule an appointment to renew my medication. I'm not in any suicidal danger and I know I have resources available if I get that way. As for my terrible post structure, I feel like that's just emotional stress coming through. I'm in a better place than ever before, technically speaking. I live away from my parents, have a full-time job, make enough and sustain myself at an affordable enough cost that I have a couple hundred in leisure money every month, not including emergency funds, and honestly have been in darker emotional places before, for less valid reasons. I may be a bit pessimistic about my worth as a person, but I know that I'm worth enough to go on. As for content: Martha's Birthday Gift/Celebration Martha's twenty-first birthday took place a month after we got together. It was her twenty-first, so Alice and Alice's Ex took her bar-hopping. I was the designated driver, but since I was under 21 at the time, I couldn't go into the bars. So I dropped them off, trusted them to walk around downtown to several bars, and went home until they needed a ride. Martha gave up quickly, So I had to leave home around eleven to pick her up. Alice and her ex already had another ride planned so it was just me and Martha. Just as she wanted, I assume, since my parents were out of town for the weekend. Obviously, she passed out several times on the ride to my house, but she was completely coherent when we arrived. The usual happened, then I took her to a 24-hr market to get some pasta that I could make for her. While making the pasta, she kept spacing out, but it all went well. After dinner, she went ahead and had some hallucinations and tried to steal a kitchen knife to kill herself, as is her modus operandi. I took her home, she was fine, life went on. The next night is the part that isn't the norm for this relationship. When I picked her up given only the instructions of "Bring $40 cash and wear something nice" I was handed a fetlife screenshot with the information for a local swingers' party. This was Martha's desired birthday gift. I figured that if anything, it would definitely be a new life experience. So I took her. She had a few drinks, but I obviously couldn't, and then we sat on a couch to socialize with four people who looked like they were in their thirties. Normal conversations regarding occupations and hobbies ensue. One of the women mentions the particular theme behind this party, and Martha mentions it's her third party like this and my first. Only the first two were allegedly a disappointment because she didn't actually get any action. The 4 other people seemed surprised, and immediately offered to remedy that situation for us. I was loving bewildered. I'll spare you guys the details, but I have to say that the kind of pressure that an orgy brings is not conducive to someone who doesn't have much sexual experience. Martha was disappointed, one of the other dudes later approached me and talked at length about how every person's first time is like that. He also mentioned some awesome pills that you can buy at 7-11 that will totally solve that problem. After spending a couple more hours socializing with the most sexually open people I've ever met, Martha and I return to my house, only to have a repeat of the prior night without the pasta. Which is a total shame because pasta is my favorite food genre.
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Aug 2, 2013 05:03
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I like the snarky bitchy attitude that is emerging in your writings toward Martha. Anger is a good sign when it's toward someone who's abused you, it shows that you realise how badly they treated you and than you no longer buy into their bullshit or think that it is your fault. If it's not actively destructive or obsessional, anger is good. Embrace the anger! Good job working to get your poo poo together now, too. I'm reading these things and just staggered at the... well, everything. I wonder how the gently caress she got quite so goddamn terrible. I'm also wondering if her occasional shriekings about OMG I'M SO AWFUL YOU NEED TO CALL THE COPS ON ME weren't a little bit self-aware with a ring of sincerity to them. Like, "yes I have problems and my psyche is in tatters and I hurt people, I need help and/or to be put away". Not enough remotely enough self-awareness to actually seek out these things herself, or try to curb her abuse, or even admit it in a serious way. So gently caress her. Kinda interesting though maybe.
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Aug 2, 2013 05:12
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DicktheCat posted:
Maybe this is  time for me, but meds are a salve, not a cure. Meds without therapy lead to relapses frequently, and dropping weed or alcohol entirely can lead to a lot of problems if they're used often. Depression is a common factor in going cold turkey on weed, so it's really not the best advice. If the use is infrequent, it's safe. If it's frequent? Don't do it all at once.Taper on the "bad" stuff, and don't accept meds unless you're committed to therapy. Really, this can't be stressed enough: meds work best when used in tandem with actual therapy. Meds often only work as well as weed or alcohol when they're used by themselves. EDIT: Shifted some wording around for clarity. I'm not against meds, but I've never known them to be a "fix it" method, and any therapist/psychiatrist worth their salt will tell you the same. Old Boot fucked around with this message at 06:24 on Aug 2, 2013 |
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Aug 2, 2013 06:21
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Corridor posted:I'm also wondering if her occasional shriekings about OMG I'M SO AWFUL YOU NEED TO CALL THE COPS ON ME weren't a little bit self-aware with a ring of sincerity to them. Like, "yes I have problems and my psyche is in tatters and I hurt people, I need help and/or to be put away". Not enough remotely enough self-awareness to actually seek out these things herself, or try to curb her abuse, or even admit it in a serious way. So gently caress her. Kinda interesting though maybe. No, I think it's far more likely that the aim of that tactic was to turn I am The Fury's anger and aggression into pity. "Oh, no, you're not that bad, baby. It's ok, we can work this out." Just more manipulation.
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Aug 2, 2013 08:11
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