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Eh, I'd just refuse to tell her. If she's worried about finances, then tell her about your finances, you don't have to include the cost of your ring in that discussion, merely what you have in assets and liabilities.
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Jul 24, 2013 19:10
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I can't possibly imagine wearing a ring every day for the rest of my life that cost some magical mystery number that I'm not allowed to know for some reason. Then again I am not at all traditional and also HATE surprises and not knowing things more than pretty much anything else, so it would drive me absolutely bonkers. My boyfriend and I plan on going to a store together to pick out and buy rings and I am going to have just as much of an input on that decision as I do with anything else in our lives. Speaking of which, any recommendations for jewelry stores near Philly or DE? Preferably ones with big estate/ antique selections?
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Jul 24, 2013 20:17
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Plus_Infinity posted:I can't possibly imagine wearing a ring every day for the rest of my life that cost some magical mystery number that I'm not allowed to know for some reason. Ditto for me. I'm actually designing mine from scratch.
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Jul 24, 2013 20:21
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Agreed with the two ladies above; I would be pretty insulted if my fiance tried to pull that kind of crap. Obviously none of us here know the context of your relationship or why she wants to know or any of that, but it seems kinda patronizing in a vaccuum. My fiance started looking at rings a bit when he was considering it and then offered up a few of the things he looked at, which were insanely expensive, and I told him we were gonna go for something a whole hell of a lot cheaper. I don't want to carry around an investment that I can lose or destroy.
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Jul 24, 2013 20:48
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Plus_Infinity posted:Speaking of which, any recommendations for jewelry stores near Philly or DE? Preferably ones with big estate/ antique selections? It's slightly outside where you're looking, but I highly recommend Leigh Jay Nacht (they're in the diamond district in NYC). They have antique rings and replicas. Great customer service. We went there originally to look at engagement rings and ended up ordering our wedding rings from them as well. http://antiqueengagementrings.com/shopping/
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Jul 24, 2013 23:23
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Regarding the ring cost disclosure, is it acceptable for any other gift to ask about the cost? Normally I'd say no. I mean, it's perfectly acceptable to discuss budgets and expectations beforehand so they don't overdo it, but once it's purchased just don't worry about it. I see no reason why the cost is relevant as long as they didn't go into stupendous debt or blow their retirement fund on it or something stupid.
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Jul 24, 2013 23:34
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uraninjs posted:It's slightly outside where you're looking, but I highly recommend Leigh Jay Nacht (they're in the diamond district in NYC). They have antique rings and replicas. Great customer service. We went there originally to look at engagement rings and ended up ordering our wedding rings from them as well. I had them do a platinum casting with modifications of a ring they had in gold. They were GREAT. Ask for Winona if you use them - she was on the ball from start to finish.
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Jul 24, 2013 23:48
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LogisticEarth posted:Regarding the ring cost disclosure, is it acceptable for any other gift to ask about the cost? Normally I'd say no. I mean, it's perfectly acceptable to discuss budgets and expectations beforehand so they don't overdo it, but once it's purchased just don't worry about it. I see no reason why the cost is relevant as long as they didn't go into stupendous debt or blow their retirement fund on it or something stupid. Exactly. Who cares about the exact dollar figure if he can afford it? I came here to post pretty much the same thing. I don't know if we're overly practical or what, but we were discussing how best to combine our finances before a ring was even in the picture. That's something you need to discuss as a couple during the pre-engagement marriage talks, not after a ring is already on your finger.
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Jul 24, 2013 23:52
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Exactly. Who cares about the exact dollar figure if he can afford it? I came here to post pretty much the same thing. You might not care and she might just be curious. The weird part is to be all up in arms about keeping it from her, it's weird as hell. And no, I wouldn't ask other people what the gift they got me cost, but I wouldn't hesitate to ask my fiance if I was curious. And it might just be the nature of our relationship, but if he didn't want to tell me (I actually can't think of a real reason why he wouldn't beyond just 'because') we'd just joke about it.
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Jul 25, 2013 00:00
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uraninjs posted:It's slightly outside where you're looking, but I highly recommend Leigh Jay Nacht (they're in the diamond district in NYC). They have antique rings and replicas. Great customer service. We went there originally to look at engagement rings and ended up ordering our wedding rings from them as well. Thanks! I used to live in NYC and we go up there every couple months so that's actually also a helpful suggestion.
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Jul 25, 2013 00:01
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teacup posted:Hey guys, Not trying to just bump post or anything but I really would love to know if anyone does know of specific stores or a more efficient way than just random googling or looking at random stores... which I've done anyway but just looking for more!
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Jul 25, 2013 01:03
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Does anyone have suggestions for where to shop for ring mountings without the stone? I never cared much for diamonds and similar wedding stuff but apparently my mother does so lucky me (or maybe more my girlfriend) as she bought one specifically for me to put into a ring some day. Since that someday is soon I'm looking for a bare mounting. I like the look of mountings that have some detail to them, filigree or something of that nature, and she likes vintage jewelry so I think that'd fit with her tastes as well. Since I already have the stone, how does getting it mounted work? Can I just go to any jeweler to have it done, or are they going to want me to buy from them direct?
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Jul 25, 2013 06:54
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Rurutia posted:You might not care and she might just be curious. The weird part is to be all up in arms about keeping it from her, it's weird as hell. And no, I wouldn't ask other people what the gift they got me cost, but I wouldn't hesitate to ask my fiance if I was curious. And it might just be the nature of our relationship, but if he didn't want to tell me (I actually can't think of a real reason why he wouldn't beyond just 'because') we'd just joke about it. Agreed. It would be worrying if either party bought a high-ticket item and didn't want to disclose the cost to the other, and Shbobdb's fiancee shouldn't have to "guilt trip" him in to telling her what it cost. I'll admit that personally I felt more reserved about talking budgeting and stuff with my then-fiance after first getting engaged, but I got over that poo poo quick. And once you get married things get even more transparent because you each see the credit card statements every month. So in my mind, yes it's perfectly acceptable to know the cost of gifts my husband buys me with our money and vice versa. It might not be as ~romantic~ but it just kind of happens when you combine finances.
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Jul 25, 2013 12:44
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powderific posted:Does anyone have suggestions for where to shop for ring mountings without the stone? I never cared much for diamonds and similar wedding stuff but apparently my mother does so lucky me (or maybe more my girlfriend) as she bought one specifically for me to put into a ring some day. Since that someday is soon I'm looking for a bare mounting. I like the look of mountings that have some detail to them, filigree or something of that nature, and she likes vintage jewelry so I think that'd fit with her tastes as well. Most jewelers have no problem mounting a stone you bring by. You'll still be buying their precious metal and paying a small fee for the mounting. Most stores that aren't almost exclusively antique or consignment will have plenty of options. Just take the stone and look for a setting you like, or discuss a custom design if you're into that.
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Jul 26, 2013 02:52
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Part of the first round of alterations for my dress is installing a built-in bra, all they do is take some padded cups and sew them in. They're pretty simple, if you can't find pre-made ones it shouldn't be too hard for your seamstress to sew her own Well, it's a matter of asking  The model which is now looking like very possible can be worn with a normal bra, at least, which is good (I feel more comfortable knowing I am wearing one).We have now made the wedding official, and I am starting to freak out. The most possible date is January 15th, which means less than 6 months to plan, with a huge workload in between, plus migration paperwork. This coming week I need to finish the migration enquiries, and deal with the food and venues, as well as starting to look for more dressmakers. I will be making my own "to-do" list, as most of the ones in English are American or British, and full of things that are not traditional here at all (I actually got tired just by reading the lists). I am panicking and it's just the first days. :S
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Jul 27, 2013 04:21
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Fiancée and I are now in the annoying planning step of choosing a DJ. We have some estimate ranging from $550-$850 and are trying to narrow it down. Anyone have experience in that price range for an initial list and could say which end of the range we should be looking at? Or really what kind of things eventually swayed you towards one particular choice. We're very much of the "these are the songs we want played, don't deviate much from the planned set list" style, we're just very much afraid of the kind of situation mentioned before where they start playing something completely off book. Any advice on the kinds of questions we should ask our prospects or other selection criteria would be appreciated. Also, since I've followed this thread a long time but never posted here's an obligatory ring shot and an engagement photo shot. Definitely will be checking here more often as time goes on (ceremony in March).  
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Jul 29, 2013 04:04
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^ where are you located? I'm in the DC area and all DJs are $1000+. If you hand-deliver an invitation, do you still have to include a stamped/addressed RSVP envelope or is there a reasonable expectation for them to hand-deliver the RSVP back? I was planning on just bringing a pile of invitations to my weekly game night instead of paying postage to mail them less than five miles to people I see in person at least once a week anyway. Another semi-related question: in your collective opinion, should I mail my save the dates for my June wedding before or after Christmas? The benefit to before is that if grandma gets a Christmas card from a distant great-third-cousin-twice-removed Bertie and suddenly wants them to get an invite, I can be like "nope guest list is set". But on the other hand people might lose the STD that far out or it'll get mixed in with Christmas cards and thrown out after the holidays. Afterwards I run the risk of random additions but the benefit of it not getting lost in holiday madness. More than 75% of the guest list needs to book hotels and flights so I can't send them less than six months out especially since DC is a huge family summer vacation destination and hotels fill up fast.
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Jul 30, 2013 18:19
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JC Penney decided it would be fun to delete all the items from our gift registry. I emailed their customer service explaining that yesterday we had a ton of items and when I logged in today to add an item really quick there are zero items listed and when I try to add items they do not show. They responded back with "Everything looks fine, your registry is still active, but it is empty. You just need to add items." Well no poo poo Sherlock, that is exactly what I said in my email. My fiancee is going to be pissed if we have to rebuild the registry from scratch. Since everyone knows by now that our registry is at JC Penney we have to either keep it there or move it and try to pass that information on to everyone. Oh and we received partial sets of some items already so where ever we do the registry we get to try and match things. And I want to smack the rear end in a top hat who bought us an odd number of towels and ripped the tags off them. That is going to make it hard to get the color and manufacturer right.
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Jul 30, 2013 20:30
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Obsoletely Fabulous posted:And I want to smack the rear end in a top hat who bought us towels Maybe just think about that for a sec.
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Jul 30, 2013 21:09
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kernel panic posted:Maybe just think about that for a sec. Yeah, good point. Though, really, the person did rip every single tag off the towels so even had we wanted to return them we can't. Not that we do, they are super soft and fluffy and we want more of them. Just hard to do when even the manufacturer tag has been removed. I may have been more angry at the fact that we have to redo the whole registry. Edit: Also, holy gently caress there are less than 2 months until the wedding day. Obsoletely Fabulous fucked around with this message at 21:20 on Jul 30, 2013 |
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Jul 30, 2013 21:16
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Plus_Infinity posted:Thanks! I used to live in NYC and we go up there every couple months so that's actually also a helpful suggestion. http://www.walterbauman.com/estate-jewelry.html
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Jul 31, 2013 00:14
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So it looks like my mom is more excited about the wedding than I am. She wanted to be in charge of food and it looks like she already has an entire menu planned. The other day she showed me her wedding binder with food and decoration ideas. A whole binder full of printed out pages. Oh well, at least it saves me a bit of trouble. I'm happy that she's eager to help.
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Jul 31, 2013 02:06
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Nessa posted:So it looks like my mom is more excited about the wedding than I am. She wanted to be in charge of food and it looks like she already has an entire menu planned. The other day she showed me her wedding binder with food and decoration ideas. A whole binder full of printed out pages. I wish my parents/parents in-law were this eager. At the beginning they were all "I wanna help!!" then I give them things to do (like asking my MIL to start thinking about rehearsal dinner ideas) and suddenly they've all decided they don't actually want to help because helping with all the behind-the-scenes stuff requires putting forth effort. Now that I have all the fun stuff out of the way like picking out my dress and food tasting no one wants to help with anything. I have a wedding binder too  but it has everything related to my wedding in it like contracts and invoices and boring crap like that.
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Jul 31, 2013 02:50
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So I have some honeymoon questions. Firstly, I'm thinking about going away for a week and the cost of the B&B I'm looking at comes to nearly $2k for that length of time. Is this too much money to ask my in-laws to pay and is a week a stupidly long honeymoon time? My mom has been very bitchy and unhelpful on the subject so I figured I could ask here. Also I'm having an argument with my fiance. I'd like to spend some time shopping in the city where we are planning to stay and he adamantly refuses to come with me. He also says that I can shop for these items everywhere (untrue) and that on a honeymoon we should do everything together and so I shouldn't even have thought of spending several hours on my own. Does this sound as ridiculous to anyone else as it does to me? A honeymoon is just a vacation with someone you love, right? I didn't think we HAD to spend every possible second of every day together and I think taking a few hours of my own to do something I want to do but he refuses to do with me is pretty normal. But I also don't know so you should tell me.
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Aug 1, 2013 01:59
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:So I have some honeymoon questions. Firstly, I'm thinking about going away for a week and the cost of the B&B I'm looking at comes to nearly $2k for that length of time. Is this too much money to ask my in-laws to pay and is a week a stupidly long honeymoon time? My mom has been very bitchy and unhelpful on the subject so I figured I could ask here. 1. I've never heard of in-laws having to pay for the honeymoon so I don't know anything about that (I sure wish mine were!) 2. Don't talk about a stupidly long honeymoon time until you come hang out with me and my husband as we plan our three-week 5,000 mile roadtrip honeymoon with a dozen stops, haha. 3. Your fiance is being a dumbass. He can spend a couple hours doing something to make you happy.
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Aug 1, 2013 02:27
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He's being a jerk about not going shopping with you, but on the other hand he wants to spend his entire honeymoon with his new wife. I think that's totally reasonable; my wife and I wouldn't have wanted to leave each other for a few hours. Obviously your situation / attitudes / relationship is different than ours, but it would have just felt wrong if we had split up for a few hours.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:00
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Drunk Tomato posted:He's being a jerk about not going shopping with you, but on the other hand he wants to spend his entire honeymoon with his new wife. I think that's totally reasonable; my wife and I wouldn't have wanted to leave each other for a few hours. Obviously your situation / attitudes / relationship is different than ours, but it would have just felt wrong if we had split up for a few hours. Right, same here. I'd do something that didn't sound super-appealing if my husband wanted to. Sounds like he just may be saying that you have to spend all day together (and simultaneously refusing to go shopping) so you won't go shopping (and presumably spend a bunch of money or something)?
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Aug 1, 2013 05:53
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Isn't there something in the general area of where you're honeymooning that he wants to do which you aren't super excited about? A sports game, a museum, a tour, a new hobby, a dive bar? Yes, you love each other and want to spend time in a new place together. Yes, you will drive each other insane if you have to be within ten feet of each other for a full loving week. I think a week or two is generally what's expected for length of honeymoon. Ours was nine days total. It probably will depend on your work and cash-flow situation more than anything else. As far as having parents pay for the honeymoon, that's a very case-by-case basis as I've seen it. My FIL paid for my brother- and sister-in-laws' condo for a month for their honeymoon last summer. They ended up almost starving because they couldn't afford a vacation that long in the first place, and got on each others' nerves so much that the last week basically all they did was get sunburned separately. For our poo poo this year the FIL paid more than we asked for as a portion of the cost of the photographer, so we ended up with more than we expected when it came time for the honeymoon.
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Aug 2, 2013 02:51
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My box of save the dates came today!  They look even better than I imagined they would, I can't wait to send them out. I would post them here but it's got our names and pictures on them and I'd have to blur out half of it which would kind of defeat the purpose.If anyone is looking into DIY fridge magnets, I highly suggest using Magnet Street. I got their 5x7" user provided artwork magnets and it was like $150 for a set of 100 with free shipping and they look amazing.
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Aug 2, 2013 03:45
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:So I have some honeymoon questions. Firstly, I'm thinking about going away for a week and the cost of the B&B I'm looking at comes to nearly $2k for that length of time. Is this too much money to ask my in-laws to pay and is a week a stupidly long honeymoon time? My mom has been very bitchy and unhelpful on the subject so I figured I could ask here. Sounds like an awful comparison, but it's a stereotype to match a girl wanting to go shopping... How would you feel if he wanted to go see a baseball game on his own?
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Aug 2, 2013 12:32
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teacup posted:Sounds like an awful comparison, but it's a stereotype to match a girl wanting to go shopping... She doesn't want to go shopping on her own, he's refusing to accompany her. That's the difference.
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Aug 2, 2013 16:41
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JibbaJabberwocky posted:So I have some honeymoon questions. Firstly, I'm thinking about going away for a week and the cost of the B&B I'm looking at comes to nearly $2k for that length of time. Is this too much money to ask my in-laws to pay and is a week a stupidly long honeymoon time? My mom has been very bitchy and unhelpful on the subject so I figured I could ask here. A week is a very reasonable time for a honeymoon. In my country, it is actually the average lenght. Nessa posted:So it looks like my mom is more excited about the wedding than I am. She wanted to be in charge of food and it looks like she already has an entire menu planned. The other day she showed me her wedding binder with food and decoration ideas. A whole binder full of printed out pages. Your mum sounds awesome Having close family helping saves a lot of time. I have my sister enquiring about drinks providers and photographers, as she has lots of acquaintances and friends working in different party services, and it's making me a bit less stressed out ^^
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Aug 2, 2013 16:49
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My two cents on knowing the price of an engagement ring: It's a gift! It's rude to ask how much a gift cost. You don't open up a birthday present and exclaim "It's lovely! How much did this set you back?". Personally, we both went shopping for my engagement ring, so I ended up knowing the cost. But if he was to surprise me with it, I would never ask. Neeeverrr. All of my other jewelry pieces that he's gotten me have a magical mystery number that I don't need to know, because they were gifts, and my E-ring would have been no different.
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Aug 3, 2013 23:07
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Well, we finally have a photographer locked in for a reasonable deal. 8 hours coverage, 2 photographers, all images on a disc, etc for a round $2k. We're still working on our wedding invites, the front cover of which features our take on a Gary Numan album cover featuring us! : My fiance and I spent a wonderful evening home alone setting up our own DIY photo shoot for the source photos to use in the invite (he's a fine arts photography graduate), and I did our makeup. There was false eyelashes, liner, shadow, a reasonable layer of foundation and powder etc. Now, I don't normally wear makeup, and have no idea what I'm doing half the time, and I certainly don't know what makeup would work best for outdoor daytime wedding photographs. Our photographers normally have a woman they recommend for hair + makeup but she's on maternity leave apparently so now I'm lost. What the hell do I ask about when interviewing potential makeup and hair people? I'm worried general makeup and hair won't 'pop' in photos (I am horribly unphotogenic normally), and if it's a hot day everything will melt/collapse if they do *too* much. Or will it? What should I expect from a standard hairdresser who claims to do 'bridal' makeup? I'm thinking of getting eyelash extensions rather than wear false ones on the day so it's not so obvious, and definitely nice nails (what are the good type to get now? The 'gel' things? I have no idea!) since I chew mine to nothing usually. I'm asking here because I have no friends who wear makeup to any great degree, and none of them have ever sat for photos done professionally. I guess I need to hire a pro movie set makeup artist at this rate, god.
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Aug 4, 2013 01:32
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nyerf posted:Now, I don't normally wear makeup, and have no idea what I'm doing half the time, and I certainly don't know what makeup would work best for outdoor daytime wedding photographs. Our photographers normally have a woman they recommend for hair + makeup but she's on maternity leave apparently so now I'm lost. I literally never wear makeup and debated whether or not I should wear makeup for my wedding. A few people told me that I would be washed out in the pics or that I wouldn't look all put together, but that didn't make sense to me because my husband wasn't going to be wearing makeup! Ultimately I decided that since I never wear makeup, it wouldn't make sense for me to change for just one day. My pics turned out amazing, regardless. I wasn't washed out, I looked like myself, etc, even with taking pictures outside in the hot August sun.
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Aug 4, 2013 03:09
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nyerf posted:Well, we finally have a photographer locked in for a reasonable deal. 8 hours coverage, 2 photographers, all images on a disc, etc for a round $2k. We're still working on our wedding invites, the front cover of which features our take on a Gary Numan album cover featuring us! : I don't know about interviewing makeup people because the same girl has done my hair forever so I just went to her. But re: nails, gel nails aren't a fake tip. It's just a long lasting manicure over your nail. I am also a nail biter, but the shellac nails are so hard to bite through and so unappealing that you won't even think about it. I would definitely recommend getting a few months of gel manicures if its in your budget and letting your nails grow out healthy. It looks so much better than acrylic nails. Also any makeup artist should powder you effectively enough that nothing will move in the heat. I got married in 100 degree heat outside, and nothing moved an inch. All the powder and primer and stuff had my makeup glued on.
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Aug 4, 2013 03:10
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Ask your photographer. They can suggest makeup and hair people who do makeup that looks great in pictures (and tell you who to avoid if their makeup jobs look awful in pictures). Seriously, photographers go to hundreds of weddings and have seen it all-- good, bad and ugly. They also don't generally have any kickbacks from other vendors so they'll give you their honest opinion. They also want you to look good so their pictures look good for their portfolio. I was also stuck on a makeup person and I asked my photographer, she gave me a couple suggestions and also told me one to avoid not because they were bad but because they took forever and caused the whole day to run late.
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Aug 4, 2013 04:35
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Hello all. I stumbled across this thread and realized maybe I can offer some insight. I am a wedding musician. I do classical guitar for ceremonies, cocktail hour guitar and singing, and occasionally DJ the reception. I have been doing so for three years now pretty heavily in addition to my full-time job. Weddings are awesome work and way more fulfilling than bar work. I get to work with a couple regarding what they want, how they want it, and usually end up challenging myself as a result. It's a great way to keep my chops up while earning a couple dollars, too. I live in the High Rockies of Colorado. I've hauled gear up gondolas for a 12,000ft ceremony and hustled back down to town for the cocktail hour in the middle of summer wearing a full tuxedo. I've worked on 7 minutes of music with a bride for over a year in advance across multiple emails and meetings. I've also showed up for weddings and the couple have no clue what they want played. I played a classical version of "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica for a wedding two weeks ago. If anyone has any questions please let me know!
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Aug 4, 2013 09:35
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Getting married this coming saturday. My partner and I blew a lot of our budget on the venue, but it was something neither of us wanted to compromise on and so between the site and the catering we were at 70% of our budget. A lot of the remaining costs were kept down by pruning off things we felt were unnecessary, like chair covers and individualised namecards. Cake and flowers were handled by some small independent businesses who included things like display stands and delivery which was great (you want a stand for that cake? more money please). Now I just need the weather to hold out since our venue is fantastic but would suffer a bit if it rained. I am also terrified of making a speech and dancing in front of an audience. My fiance always knew the value of her ring, trying to hide it would have been redundant since it was valuable enough that it needed specific extra coverage on our home contents insurance she would have known anyway.
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Aug 4, 2013 18:01
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So does anyone have any ideas for substitutes for wedding bands? At least for the ceremony? I wear jewelry a lot, but my fiancé doesn't and won't, so even if we were to get wedding bands, one of them would be forever unworn, and that kind of defeats the purpose of having wedding bands, doesn't it? I'm looking for some kind of alternative.
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Aug 5, 2013 10:14
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